#at extremes it's basically swinging from neglect to overcompensation

[mzminola]

The more I see the phrase “eldest daughter syndrome” the higher it raises my hackles. It’s just parentification. It’s parentification and if you call it parentification it’s a lot easier to explain, and it’s a lot easier for the younger siblings or only children and children of any gender to identify it happening to them too.

Like I get that oldest sibs are more likely to be treated as accessory parents of their youngers, and I get that in a lot of families girls are pushed into caregiver roles, but fucking hell man parentification can and does happen to any kid regardless of birth order and gender, and while situations vary from family to family, there isn’t really anything the parentified oldest daughters are experiencing that the other parentified kids aren’t.

#abuse #parentification #'but so many parents are stricter with the eldest and loosen up rules over time' #sometimes it goes the opposite way my dudes #sometimes parents are lax with the older kids and get stricter over time #at extremes it's basically swinging from neglect to overcompensation

[rivetgoth]

OC #3 - Giovanni Marcello

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Sorry for the long delay in these, uh, if y’all have been watching my posts I got sick and had to fight a bunch of hurdles in the super inundated pandemic medical world to even get my medicine and things have just kind of been exhausting, but LUCKILY I think (KNOCK ON WOOD) I’m on the tail end of it now and recovering.

SO here’s Giovanni. He’s a really special OC to me, he’s one of the protagonists of my novel. He means a lot and I’ve spent a LOT of time with him. I realized a while back that if I ever did one of those memes where you combine all of your favorite characters into an OC, Giovanni would be it. He’s really fun and I care a lot about him. I can’t wait to finish my novel and force people to really get to know him.

Giovanni is in his early-mid thirties and he’s gay. He’s the second youngest child and the youngest son in the Marcello family. The Marcellos own this huge corporation in the Fresno megalopolis that sells drugged, often heavily addictive candies to the public. They basically have the monopoly on the pharmaceutical industry even though they didn’t even initially claim any medicinal value, but as Himmel Medicine took over the entire hospital industry and started inflating medicine prices, Marcello Candies became the public’s go-to for over the counter drugs and self-medicating. Giovanni is the product of his father’s second wife, with whom he has one fully biological sister, Vittoria. She’s the other protagonist of my novel.

Giovanni was born to Vittorio and Camila Marcello. During the early years, Vittorio was very much not around, busy running the Marcello Candy Company and letting Camila worry about their infant son. After some time it became clear that there was something “wrong” with Giovanni - this universe probably doesn’t really have a reliable DSM, but it would be something along the lines of autism or ADHD. He was just taking a lot longer with things like talking than most would at his age, stuff like that. Vittorio was furious and suggested that they put him through intensive therapy to sort this out, but Camila reassured him that she would see to it personally that Giovanni was looked after, and he was, until he was about about seven, when she gave birth to his younger sister, Vittoria, and died of complications shortly after.

Now that his mother was gone and Vittorio was left to parent alone, he went through with his initial plan and set Giovanni up with a strict tutor and therapist who was supposed to train Giovanni to comply properly with Vittorio’s expectations for him. Obviously, this didn’t really do much except horribly effect Giovanni’s sense of self and destroy any sort of confidence or certainty in his identity that he may have had otherwise. And, between the therapist, his father, and his older brother Antonio, already a teenager, who often babysat him and was merciless and cruel to him all being men, he also came to really fear men and have a very intense aversion to masculinity in general, which would fuck with him more and more as he grew older and began to develop attraction exclusively to men. By the time he was in his teenage years he was a complete mess with horrid self esteem issues and constant insecurity. Vittorio insisted on him staying inside as often as possible, not wanting him to be seen by the public and ruin the family’s name, and the one person who tried to reach out to him, his half brother Dante, killed himself not long after.

What probably saved Giovanni’s life was becoming invested in makeup. Trapped in trauma and internalized homophobia he didn’t comprehend that his attraction to women was not any sort of romantic or sexual attraction but a sort of draw towards femininity, in part to cope with aforementioned trauma and in part to grapple with his own complex feelings about gender and sexuality he was dealing with. Through makeup he could get in touch with a more effeminate side, a space more comfortable than masculinity, and he could begin to view his own face as a canvas for art instead of something ugly and imperfect. He began to experiment with makeup and get increasingly good at it, and it gave him something to be passionate about for the first time in his life.

Vittorio, having given up on even wanting Giovanni to be a “functional member of society,” decided it would do less damage to his company’s name if he just kept him pacified, allowing him access to as much of the company’s drugged candy as he desired and giving him odd jobs around the company to give him busy and out of the public’s eye. In his free time he would take care of pet birds (which he adored), get drugged out on candies, and have sex with various women from the company - Something he didn’t even really enjoy except on a physical level and usually just left him feeling guilty and bad about himself and unable to understand what was wrong with him, refusing to even consider or address his attraction to men out of fear. Free time was also spent making his little sister’s life hell - He has a lot of complex feelings towards her, mostly jealousy and anger, feeling like she ruined his life by being born.

As the Marcello Candy Company grows more powerful, questions about the Marcello children would become more and more frequent, and Giovanni would eventually become a source of shame that his father could no longer handle. He (as well as Vittoria, his little sister) would get kicked out of the house and thrown out onto the streets, unofficially disowned with only a small monthly “allowance” to satiate them. At the time that this happens, Giovanni is thirty-four. The vast majority of my novel takes place around these events so I want to keep things from here kinda vague, but I will say that he ends up on the outskirts of Fresno and comes to stay with Angel Steel and Hollywood California in a little house that they’re using to hide out in. Angel becomes one of Giovanni’s primary love interests, although he also has some “interaction” with an assassin named Leatherette too (I’ll do his bio soon… maybe it’s the next one? Hmm). He eventually comes to live out by the beach as a fortune teller, but I don’t want to share too much, though I don’t mind spoiling that he doesn’t straight up die in my book LOL.

Giovanni can be very childish and immature. He overcompensates for his insecurities by being very haughty and bratty. He likes to take petty little shots at his sister but he gets very easily offended when she retaliates. He likes to imagine that he’s something of a romantic. He loves makeup, glitter, and the colors purple and gold. He likes fancy clothing, scarves, flowers, and dangling earrings that he can tap and swing around and rub between his fingers when he gets anxious. One of his bigger struggles is conceptualizing things around him as real and existing with their own thoughts and feelings rather than being stuck inward and only focusing on himself, which only leads down a path that hurts others and makes him incredibly self-destructive as well since he hates himself. One way this manifests is through his pet birds; despite how much he adores them he struggles to take care of them and frequently kills them via neglect, which makes him feel really bad too. You can dwell on foreshadowing here if you’d like, or wait to read my novel and learn more about what happens. :)

Giovanni doesn’t have very good social skills and he gets pretty flustered and nervous easily, but like I said before, he usually copes by acting out which only makes things worse for everyone, including himself. He’s pretty good at embarrassing himself. He eats way too much candy and is almost always high or drunk because he doesn’t really want to think too hard about stuff. He loves art, especially paint and makeup. I think Giovanni feels very bad about things very often but has worked extremely hard to mask it as well as possible by simply rejecting anything that makes him feel at all guilty or uncomfortable, so he has a very fractured sense of self.

#daily OC talk

[angelofthequeers]

Balance

Disclaimer: I don’t own ML.

As much fun as it is to write salt, I also want to be known for my sugar abilities too

Vive le sel though

Summary:  After the events of Oni-chan, Adrien has a realisation or two about doing the right thing. Then Ladybug decides to pay a visit and, well...he must be dreaming, because there's no way this is real life.

AO3 link

“Wow, you look even sourer than sour cream,” Plagg comments with his mouth stuffed full of Camembert. “And that’s saying something. Reminds me of a time back in –”

“I should’ve listened to Marinette.”

“Huh?”

Adrien sighs and lets his fingers fall from the piano keys. What’s the point when his heart’s not even in it? “I told Marinette not to expose Lila because she wasn’t hurting anyone. But she hurt lots of people today, Plagg. Nathalie, Gorilla, Kagami…me…”

“Kinda sucks to learn, doesn’t it?” Plagg says. “Not everything can be solved with nice words. Besides, that’s much more Tikki’s sappy thing. We do better when we jump in and just do it.”

“I just didn’t want Lila to be akumatised again!” Who is Adrien even trying to convince? Plagg? Or…himself?

“That girl would get akumatised at the drop of a hat,” Plagg says rather flippantly. “I never got why you’re so keen to be her white knight.”

“I just…didn’t want to cause trouble.”

Plagg raises an eyebrow. “You turn into a leather cat superhero and fight supervillains. With a bell around your neck. I’m pretty sure that’s about the furthest you can get from causing trouble.”

“That’s different,” Adrien argues. “I’m Chat Noir when I do that. Whatever I do as him doesn’t affect me as Adrien. But if I cause trouble as Adrien, I have to live with it. And don’t pick on the bell, I think it’s cool.”

“Look, kid, I get where you’re coming from.” Plagg abandons his cheese and darts over to the piano for this, so Adrien knows that this has just gotten real. “You think you’re the first holder I’ve had with a shitty home life? I’m drawn to abused and neglected kids. They got a whole bunch of bottled-up crap to work through, I give ‘em a way to channel it into something productive. And destructive. Kids like you are the perfect match for destruction.”

“Really?” Adrien blinks. “You’ve never told me this before.”

“Didn’t think I’d have to. But after what happened today, I think you need to hear it. That’s why you didn’t get Tikki. Her bugs are the creative, warm, happy type who can think on their feet. No offence, but you’re more of the brawn than the brain when it comes to akumas.”

“No offence taken,” Adrien says. He files away Plagg’s description of Ladybug for future ruminating on who she could be, now that he knows more about her civilian personality. “I know milady’s the brains of us.”

“Which isn’t to say that you’re not smart,” Plagg adds, crossing his tiny arms. “And that Ladybug’s not tough and strong. But your strength is channelling all the shit you keep locked up into fighting and dusting things. And since you’re still such a doormat as a civilian, you overcompensate as a hero. It’s freedom for you.”

“Of course it is,” Adrien says. “I can let loose as Chat Noir.”

“And how many times does that get you in trouble?” Plagg says. “Remember Oblivio? The point of channelling your crap through me is so you learn how to do it as you. That’s what Tikki and I do: we give our holders a way to let loose so they can improve themselves. But when you keep it all bottled up as you, it slips through as Chat Noir. Then you make stupid mistakes ‘cause you’re too free.”

“So…” Adrien runs a hand through his hair as the cogs whir in his brain. “You’re saying…I need to find a balance between me and Chat Noir?”

“Yep,” Plagg says. “Balance. Me and Tikki are balanced. You and Ladybug are balanced. But you and Chat Noir also have to be balanced.” Plagg looks Adrien deep in the eye and, uncharacteristically serious, says, “You and Chat Noir aren’t separate people, Adrien. They’re two sides of the same. You’re not Adrien Agreste who happens to turn into a totally new person; you’re Adrien Agreste and Chat Noir.”

Plagg’s words burrow deep into Adrien’s ears, invading his brain, leaving his mouth unable to form words. In all his time as Chat Noir, how has he never realised what Plagg’s just up and telling him to his face? He’s been so wild, so happy, so…free as Chat Noir that he hasn’t once stopped and realised that he is Chat Noir.

Of course he knows he’s Chat Noir. It’s his superhero identity, after all. But there’s always been such a wall in his mind between himself and Chat Noir, fuelled by the extremely different perceptions that people have of Adrien Agreste versus Chat Noir, that…maybe he’s been caught up in that too.

“Had a good little think?” Plagg taunts. For once, Adrien doesn’t roll his eyes; really, Plagg deserves to be smug this time at least.

“I need to apologise to Marinette,” Adrien says. “And I need to actually stand up to Lila instead of trying to keep the peace. You’re right, Plagg.”

“I know I am.” Plagg puffs up, smirking. “I’d say that earns me a big block of that –”

“No.”

“But Adrien –”

A tap on the window cuts Plagg’s whining short. The kwami dives out of sight, while Adrien turns to investigate and is rendered speechless for the second time that night by the red figure hanging outside his window.

“Ladybug?” he says when he opens the window so that she can slip inside. “Not that I’m upset to see you – I’m always happy to be with – I mean – gah –”

Ladybug’s giggle is a heavenly choir to Adrien’s ears, and it leaves him in a daze for a few moments, giving Ladybug time to cross over to the long couch and sit down. Her suit is even brighter against the white material, a vivid scarlet, but Adrien’s drawn to the beautiful blue eyes behind the mask as he sits next to her. Does he know those eyes? They seem so mockingly familiar, yet so far away…

“I came to see you after what happened today,” Ladybug says. “I just dropped in to check on Kagami briefly. I’ve been trying to visit people who are akumatised more than once.”

“How is she?” Adrien says immediately. The ghost of a grimace passes over Ladybug’s face, although he’d probably just imagined it.

“As well as can be. I told her not to feel ashamed of being akumatised again, but I don’t think she believed me.”

“I’ll talk to her tomorrow.” Adrien’s heart swells even more. Not only is Ladybug strong and bold and beautiful, but she’s also so sweet and caring that he can’t help but fall even deeper for her. How can he not know who her civilian identity is? He should have noticed such a gorgeous girl by now.

“How are you doing?” Ladybug says. “I know that you weren’t caught up in the action, but…well, I imagine you must be feeling awful about being caught between these girls.”

“Getting caught between girls is just life for me. I’m actually hitting myself for not listening to Marinette,” Adrien says.

“M-Marinette?” A dusting of deep pink spreads across Ladybug’s cheeks. “What do you mean?”

“She told me that Lila was no good. And I know that Lila’s a liar! I just…I kind of buried my head in the sand and hoped it would all go away. I told Marinette not to do anything in case Lila got akumatised.”

“Sounds like Marinette is pretty clued in,” Ladybug says, though her tone is so odd that Adrien wouldn’t even know how to start interpreting it.

“I also feel a bit selfish,” Adrien sighs. “I mean, I’m only saying this now because Lila got Nathalie and my bodyguard in trouble and made things hard on me. What about when she was making Marinette’s life hard? I wasn’t exactly good support then.”

“None of us are perfect,” Ladybug says. “I was way too aggressive to Lila the first time I talked to her. What matters is that you own up to your mistakes and try to make amends.”

“You really think that Marinette will forgive me?” Adrien says. “I basically told her to sit down and shut up and let Lila get away with everything. How must Marinette have felt? I put the girl in the wrong over the girl in the right.”

“Has Marinette given you any indication that she wouldn’t forgive you?”

“No. She’s such a sweet and awesome girl that I know she would. I just don’t know if I’d deserve it after the way I invalidated her.” Adrien wonders why Ladybug’s cheeks darken to a shade of crimson similar to her suit. “I actually called her our everyday Ladybug, did you know? She reminds me a lot of you.”

“O-Oh,” Ladybug stammers. “That’s – compliment, nice – ahh, I’m hopeless!” She shakes her head, her black pigtails swinging around her face in the process. “I’m sorry, I’m just such a mess. It’s been a weird day.”

“I’ll say,” Adrien agrees. Before he knows what he’s doing, he’s reaching out and brushing strands of dark hair out of Ladybug’s eyes, although this only makes her face grow even redder. He jerks his hand back. “Oh! I’m – I’m sorry –”

“I don’t mind,” comes Ladybug’s soft reply. Heart pounding, Adrien shifts even closer so that their arms are touching, and the warmth of Ladybug through her suit practically sets Adrien’s skin on fire.

“Would –” Adrien licks his dry lips, then swallows. “Would, ah – it be inappropriate to tell you that…you’re the reason none of those girls stand a chance?”

“Ah…” Ladybug looks like she’s stopped breathing. Figuring that he can’t mess this up even more, Adrien decides to just go ahead and get it all out.

“Ever since you first appeared, I’ve…well, I’ve been in – in lo –” Adrien closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. “In l – well – you get it, right?”

Ladybug just whines. Adrien would probably be worried about how red her entire face is if the sight wasn’t so adorable.

“And it’s not a celebrity thing,” he hastens to add. “I mean…I get celebrity things, yeah?”

“I – I’d hope so,” Ladybug says with a hysterical little laugh.

“You’re just so – so brave, and you always do the right thing, and you’re so – so pretty, and it kills me that I don’t know your civilian identity even though I understand why, because it makes me feel horrible that I haven’t noticed her –”

“T-That’s a good thing.” Ladybug clears her throat, but her voice is still very high. “Means my identity’s safe. But um…trust me, I – my civilian self – she wouldn’t exactly be disappointed to hear this.”

The implication smashes Adrien over the head like a baseball bat. “Y-You – she –”

It’s Ladybug’s turn to swallow, and Adrien’s eyes dart to the movement of her throat. “I…well, I suppose since you were honest – I just –” Ladybug takes a deep breath and clenches her fists. “I’ve told Chat Noir before that I’m not in love with him because there’s…another boy. So…um, surprise?”

Adrien blinks. Then he blinks again. All this time, he’s been trying to woo Ladybug, and she’s been rejecting him…for himself? There’s just something so cosmically hilarious about the realisation that he’s been cockblocking himself.

“It’s probably not wise,” Ladybug babbles when Adrien doesn’t say anything. “You know, since I’m a superhero. Secret identities – Hawkmoth – you’re famous – um – oh gosh.” She covers her face. “I’m just – I shouldn’t be such a mess behind the mask!”

“If it helps, I think my heart’s about to give out,” Adrien says. Ladybug giggles for the second time that night. God, if Adrien could bottle that sound, he’d listen to it for the rest of his life.

“So,” she says. “Um…my civilian self likes you. But I can’t tell you who she is. That means that I…also happen to l-like you.” To her credit, she barely stumbles in her speech. “And you – y-you like me.”

“Trust me, whoever your civilian self is, I’ll like her too,” Adrien says immediately. “Knowing this side of you made me fall for her. If I knew who she was, I’d know that this was a part of her, so I’d like her as a whole. Not that I’m pressuring you to tell me!” he hastens to add when Ladybug blushes again.

“W-Well…I suppose…I mean, so long as we’re careful…and you get targeted enough anyway, and Chat Noir and I always keep you safe…” Ladybug bites her lip and then, ever so slowly, she reaches out and takes Adrien’s hand, interlacing their fingers. Adrien’s chest about explodes as the heat from his hand shoots up his arm. Judging by how hot his face is, it’s probably as red as hers.

“Seriously?” Adrien manages to force out. “You want – you’re sure?”

Ladybug smiles at him and seems to recover a little of her boldness. “I’m sure,” she says. “The mask gives me that little push of courage I need, even if it’s still me behind it. Although I can’t tell you who I really am, so it’s going to be so hard in real life…”

“I’ll wait to know until you can tell me,” Adrien says straight away. “For as long as I need. But just let me say…if you’re worried that I’ll reject you or be disappointed in who you really are, you’re sorely mistaken. And I know that when I find out who you are…” He reaches up and brushes his fingers along Ladybug’s cheek, like he’s been dreaming of doing since the day he met her. Ladybug’s mouth falls open at the touch. “I’m only going to be twice as happy, knowing that such an extraordinary girl is Ladybug.”

Ladybug is frozen for a minute, no doubt processing everything Adrien had just said. Just as Adrien’s about to poke her and see if she’s still alive, she blinks and leans in even closer.

“Um…with your permission?” she says. It’s Adrien’s turn to freeze as he realises what’s about to happen, with the nod of his head purely an autopilot action. Ladybug’s lips curve into a small smile and then…and then those lips are touching his, and the smell of strawberries is everywhere, attacking, invading his senses as her hair tickles his nose, and her mouth is so warm and soft against his, and oh god he might actually die –

It takes at least half a minute for him to realise that they’ve stopped kissing, purely because his brain is currently trying to fry itself from the overload of Ladybug.

“Wow,” Ladybug mumbles against his lips. “That was even better than I imagined.”

“You’ve been imagining this?” Adrien’s mouth says without his permission. Ladybug squeaks and jerks away, so Adrien rushes to grab her hand and smile. “That was – uh, I’ve been dreaming of that too. Wow. You smell like strawberries.”

“Oh.” Ladybug’s cheeks flush for the nth time that night. “Um…you smell like Adrien.”

“Of course I do,” Adrien says with a goofy grin. “I am Adrien.”

“No!” Ladybug groans and facepalms. “I mean – ugh, that stupid –!”

A smile slowly forms on Adrien’s face. “Ladybug,” he says. “Have you seen that ad?”

Ladybug whines. “I hate my life. And I hate you. You’re too damn gorgeous for your own good. Oh my god, did I just say that out loud?”

“Me? Gorgeous?” Adrien says. “Have you even looked in the mirror lately?”

Ladybug glares at him, although her red face and twitching lips make it impossible for him to take her seriously. Now that he’s actually allowed to do so, Adrien leans in to give Ladybug a quick kiss on the lips, grinning at how she lets out an, “Eep!” and ducks her head.

“I should get going,” she blurts out. “Not that I want – I mean, I’d love to stay – but I’m sure you’re busy – and I need to do my homework –”

Adrien takes pity on his…girlfriend? Are they officially that? “Don’t worry, I won’t waste away in my tower,” he says. “There’s always tomorrow night. And the night after. And then the night after that.”

“Don’t tempt me,” Ladybug mutters. She bites her lip, then kisses Adrien before heading to his window and swinging her yo-yo. “I’ll…see you tomorrow, then?”

Rather than answer verbally, Adrien crosses over and slides an arm around her waist so that he can give her a proper goodbye kiss. “See you tomorrow, Ladybug,” he says.

“Not if you keep doing that,” Ladybug says with a little giggle. “I’m going to crash on my way home.”

Adrien’s sorely tempted to make a Chat Noir-esque comment, but he figures that it’s probably best to let the poor girl get home in one piece. He steps away so that she can jump out the window, although she remains hanging so that she can give him a smile and a little wave. Then she’s off, swinging across Paris, the setting sun illuminating her like some kind of angel, and Adrien has to pinch himself to make sure that this isn’t all just some dream that his brain has cooked up.

“Wow,” Plagg says, now out of hiding. “You’re the sappiest piece of shit ever. I’m actually gonna be sick.”

“Do it over there,” Adrien says dazedly. Plagg retches and rolls his eyes, then zips back to his precious Camembert while muttering under his breath.

There’s a knock on the door before Adrien can collapse into a puddle of skin and bones. “Adrien, it’s dinnertime,” Nathalie calls.

“Coming,” Adrien croaks. There’s a pause.

“Are you feeling well?” Nathalie says. “I didn’t hear your piano.”

“Uh – yeah – sorry, just a bit under the weather.”

“Then you’re to go to bed straight after dinner. I’m sure your father will excuse you from your post-dinner activities for one night.”

Adrien remains where he is, staring out the window after Ladybug as Nathalie’s footsteps grow fainter. The superhero is long gone, so Adrien shakes his head and forces himself to return to reality. The last thing Nathalie and his father need to know is that he’d just kissed a superhero in his room.

Heck, he can barely believe it himself.

#miraculous ladybug #ladrien #adrien agreste #ladybug #plagg #plagg is a little shit #ml fluff #fluff #ml season 3 spoilers #oni-chan #post oni-chan #just awkward beans doing awkward bean things #kisses #aotq fic