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#at some point im gonna run out of vore jokes
thepringlesofblood · 1 year
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out of context spoilers for neverafter ep 13
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vivienna-vivid · 4 years
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The masters of Red have no personalities so I made them up.
Feend vor Sembren
Ah yes, Nasuverse!Edgeworth
Strict AF college professor who actually cares about his students. They affectionately call him “Professor Fiend”.
W O R K A H O L I C
A total romantic who loves his wife and son. If only he made a habit of actually coming home…
Did you know this man is 52??? Did you know his son Fezgram is 24???
The only one here who knows how to be a functional member of society.
Pretty heavy smoker, so he has a raspy voice.
Surprisingly, Feenie’s a connoisseur of wine. Kayneth introduced him to a lotta high-end alchohol in their college days.
Yes, he knew Kayneth. They were good friends before Kayneth bit the dust.
I dare you to make vore jokes in front of him. I dare you. You’ll die but at least it’ll be fun.
Listens to a lot of 70s-80s bands. In case you’re wondering, he’s a big fan of Queen and Fleetwood Mac.
Pretty technologically advanced for a mage. His pragmatism towards technology was inspired by a certain gun-wielding magus killer.
Was married into the Vor Sembren family. Since he was born a poor boy, he’s always trying to prove himself.
His parents were Chinese Singaporeans, so he’s fluent in Mandarin.
Feenie’s magecraft focuses on transmutation. With select materials, he can transmute one thing into another. He mainly uses his magecraft to heal wounds and create pseudo organs and flesh.
Has at one point intimidated a person by showing them a transmuted heart and lying that it’s theirs.
His wish for the Grail is… Well, he plans to give the Grail to the Association, so he doesn’t particularly care about the Grail.
It’s to run away from mage society with his family
Rottweil Berzinsky
OH BOY LOOK AT THIS DISASTER.
Australian. Because of that, he has a noice Australian accent.
S H A R P   T E E F S
Man’s been in too much explosions
His Crowley-esque shades hides his lizard eyes.
“If I’m gonna do horrible things, at least I can make them FUN”
Think: Steve Irwin but borderline psychopath.
Is surprisingly good with kids! Rott’s the kinda guy who’d chastise a child for being mean and/or rude, but would teach them how to stab assholes. “Y’see a weird man offering candy from his van. Wha’dya do? Shank ‘im!”
Man’s a natural prankster. He’ll prank E V E R Y O N E and A N Y T H I N G.
Likes: Sunbathing. Hates: Cold weather and winter.
Thinks Gene Rum is a cooooooooooooold bitch with a stick up her arse.
Gene and Rott has some history. Both tend to be employed by the same people.
Rott may be a murderer, but he has standards! No killing children, no harming children, if employer does anything to children he will kill them.
Has killed more employers than actual hit targets.
In the manga, Rott can change into silver lizard form. He doesn’t like changing his form since the more he uses that ability, the more monstrous and mindless he becomes.
Rott is indeed a Chimera, a mage who is able to turn into an animal to some degree. He didn’t become a Chimera from his own volition, so that’s also a reason why he rarely uses his ability.
As a Chimera, he’s gained some lizard perks even in his human form. For starters, his saliva is toxic and has lizard eyes. He also can shed his skin to heal certain wounds. In Chimera form, he’s covered in nigh-indestructible scales.
Rott was an orphan who was adopted by a mage named Zagreus Berzinsky. The man wanted to create mythical beast of yore by forcefully fusing children with all kinds of beasts. Rott was one of those children.
Rott was able to escape with a few kids. Eventually, they made their way to the Clocktower. While he himself never went to school, he 100% made sure his “younger siblings” are enrolled in the Clocktower. It’s for their safety.
His wish for the Grail is for an antidote for Chimeratization. Oh! And to kill off Zagreus too!
Gene (Jean?) Rum
Gene, short for Genevieve. (Or Jean, short for Jeanette)
Straight-laced lipstick lesbian.
Likes books because, unlike people, they’re actually engaging. Nah she’s just a bit awkward and self-conscious.
Grew up reading Shakespeare, Arabian Nights, and Grimm’s Fairy Tales.
Since she’s broken into Ivan the Terrible’s library at least once, I can tell you that she’s a professional lock-picker. Wizard who took a level in Rogue.
Fluent in many languages due to her time abroad.
Favorite Genre: Russian Literature
HAS PUBLISHED HER OWN POETRY BOOK!! Though, it’s under a pseudonym and bringing it up will make her really embarrassed.
Thinks Rottweil is a bITCH-ASS MOTHERFUCKER.
Gene doesn’t care much about the morality of her employers. As long as she gets paid, she won’t stick her nose in her employer’s business.
You’d think she’d have Mystic Eyes what with her chilling side-eye.
Loves puns but you’d be hard-pressed to get her to laugh at one in public.
Finished her education in the Clocktower but chose to lead a life of a mercenary. Her family was… pretty miffed.
Never attends family meetups.
Org Rum is her little brother and his presence turns on her latent Cain instincts.
Do you have your rival family’s documents? Do you want to ruin them by exposing these documents but they’re encrypted? HIRE GENE RUM TODAY!
Gene’s magecraft focuses of aeromancy, the control of wind.
Her most famous technique is the ability to make thread-thin tornado chakrams. Anyone who touches these tordano-wheels will get sliced. If she focuses a bit harder, she can imbue her chakrams with lightning.
She makes those storm-threads with a small buckler-sized spinning wheel she bring along. It’s her mystic code and she’s very protective of it.
Cabik Pentel
The current patriarch of the Pentel Clan, a family of esoteric assassins/mercenary group.
Hardly ever emotes so it’s hard to tell what he’s thinking.
But he’s usually very honest and won’t sugar nor exaggerate his words.
The only reason he’s can understand other people (to a degree) is because his brother is such a good person.
Yeah, Cabik loves his brother very much. And as such, he loves his brother’s twin daughters. He’s somewhat of a cool uncle to them.
Doesn’t quite know how he feels about being patriarch since the clan is awful as all hell. He’s good at being an assassin, so he’ll continue the work in the meantime.
BOY ONLY KNOWS HOW TO KILL PEOPLE HE DOESN’T KNOW HOW TO HUMAN, BLESS HIM.
Proud father of houseplants and a cat
Q: Weren’t you and your brother called “The Gum Brothers” in college?
A: ………………………………………Ah. So you’ve chosen death.
How many daggers does this man have? A LOT
Seriously, you’d think he has a limit to how many daggers he can carry but. No. He just… fucking pops out another pair if the ones he’s using are lost.
His twin knives are called Rahu and Ketu and he loves them very much.
The Pentels specialty magecraft is body modification. Cabik uses this to make his body pliable as fuck.
This bitch can basically make his body have the consistency of a ferret’s.
Need to dodge? Fuckin’ dislocate your spine! Gutted? Move your organs upwards to not make them fall!
Deimlet Pentel
The older brother of the Pentel siblings. Supposed to be the next family patriarch but left that position for his brother.
Big teddy bear man. Big teddy bear wrestler man.
“HAHAHA!! I AM HERE!!” -Deimlet (and totally not All Might)
Divorced man of two daughters. BUT!! HE STILL LOVES HIS EX-WIFE VERY MUCH!!!
“I may want to remarry my ex-wife. Or not, haha……. Unless…;)?”
Stronk dad to stronk daughters. He taught them how to wrestle and….. he’s so proud of them ;’)
MADE OF LITERAL SUNSHINE!! IF YOU SEE THE SUN IN MIDNIGHT, YOU MIGHT BE LOOKING AT DEIM!!
Super protective of his mustache. It’s his magnum opus so do nOT MESS IT UP
Legitimately hates the Pentels, but still loves his baby bro.
Q: Weren’t you and your brother called “The Gum Brothers” in college?
A: What? I didn’t hear you there! Mind *cracks fingers* saying that again?
While he married out of love, his responsibilities as heir-apparent (and assassin) made him incredibly distant to his family. 
When he was tasked to kill his then-wife’s brother’s family, he did so with much hesitation. Because of that, his brother-in-law nearly killed him and ended up dying anyway.
His wife was… not happy, to say the least. That’s why they divorced and she took the kids.
And that’s how he left the family! Killing, as it turns out, sucks ass!!
Good ending tho: he moved to Finland and started tutoring the Edelfelt kids in wrestling.
He’s… actually a masked wrestler there. He’s been on TV a bunch of times!
Joined the HGW mainly to make sure Cabik is doing fine.
Uses his family’s magecraft to super harden his body. 
You can’t gut this man ‘cause he made hIS BODY INTO LITERAL STONE!!
Man is just Indian Alex Louis Armstrong. Thatse it! He cannot change this!
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letstalksymphogear · 5 years
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Symphogear, EP. 5 (Cont.)
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Tsubasa ruminates about her current situation in her Symphogear Brand Safety Capsule of Absolute Dunces.
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“aight ive done seen the light lemme at that sweet, sweet taco bell”
Meanwhile, some old ass politicians rumble about Relics.
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“im old.”
But they immediately get fucked up in a nasty car accident.
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As it turns out, the Americans were waiting to intercept these old crones to steal The Goods.
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And holy fuck are they are American. Personally, I feel the writers of Symphogear watched Die Hard and immediately went “these people are fucking animals”. That’s just me, though.
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“ooh ouch oh mmm ouchie ouch oooo ouch”
They tear into these people with an almost machine like efficiency.
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These people don’t fuck around. There’s a strange surreality around it given that this is honestly pretty accurate to how brutal special operatives can be, but the Japanese accent they have in their English voices is... a bit jarring.
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“IM BACK FROM THE MALL, YA’LL”
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“oh god she’s back”
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“ah, ryoko. as per your lingo, quote, ‘i like your new gucci boots... bitch’ was that good? im not fond at cursing at women unless its a mutual training session”
Genjuro alerts that the Minister of Defense for Japan has just been assassinated.
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“shits bad”
Conveniently... Ryoko’s phone was broken. In her defense, it’s 2012. Battery life didn’t have the bragging rights it had now for phone.
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“i personally use a razer flip phone. those will never go out of style!”
Ryoko manages to show them the box the Americans were trying to get. Suspiciously...
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There’s a bloodstain on it.
So the main struggle right now is that the Bad Guys(tm) want to get their hands on Durandal, which is a completed relic that is hidden away miles underneath the school in the 2nd Division Labs.
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This musty, old, shitty sword has immense power. Almost Godlike.
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“hey why dont we just use the sword to beat up the bad guys”
The sword was handed from the EU to Japan for Japan to safekeep, and in exchange to forgive some of the loans the EU owed Japan should the EU economy collapse.
How topical.
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“i read a lot of beserk and honestly im pretty sure someone beats up the bad guys with that dumb sword”
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“listen nerd, we’re not doing that dumb weeb anime shit. we’re taking this sword to a vault to the bottom of parliament.”
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“thats right. who needs anime when you’ve got nicholas cage.”
And so, they plotted to deliver this dumb sword tomorrow.
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Ryoko logs into Runescape.
Fun fact: Fulcanelli is a reference to this dude, who was a French alchemist whose identity nobody really knows. Alchemy is a concept that will come up during GX that has no relevance whatsoever during these first 2 seasons except in some passerby jargon. This as just a cute thing I wanted to point out.
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You know, that’s a pretty sexy sword upon closer examination.
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“thats the dark souls of swords”
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“ah! a fellow gamer! im glad that you too partake of the souls of darkening. would you like to play a two player match somtime, fellow Gamer?”
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“I would genuinely rather eat shit for the rest of my life!”
The scene ends. Alright, where are n-
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Oh God we’re back to this bullshit. Okay then.
Miku, reasonably, is upset that her wife is gone for several hours for increasingly sketchy reasons. Much like an estranged wife going to see her “tennis instructor” for “private tennis lessons” in the “safety of their house, which has a tennis court”, Miku is worried that Hibiki is a liar liar, pants on fire.
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Nose the size of a wire.
Hibiki, feeling the fear of God, quickly bails this increasingly tense situation.
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Miku is suffering, and so am I with this hamfisted writing.
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“you didnt even try the cookies i made out of frustration for you. i designed them all after me with increasingly angrier faces”
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“im too young for a divorce. fuck, those cookies smelled good”
Hibiki decides to not sweat it anymore, opening a magazine and WHOA WHAT THE FUCK
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WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS I DONT REMEMBER THIS WHEN DID HIBIKI GET HER HANDS ON THIS OH MY GOD
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“HELL NO IM MARRIED THE DEVIL CANNOT TEMPT ME”
Hibiki closes it up to reveal the relevant part of this magazine.
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This is subtle, but it’s basically a vehicle to explain how things are covered up for Symphogears. Ogawa walks in, talking about how this headline was his doing.
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“i wasn’t joking when i said we were literally the NSA”
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Hibiki is happy that Tsubasa has been freed from Metaphor Limbo, having escaped the Water Metaphor Dimension back into real life.
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“she literally wont stop talking about taco bell and honestly its killing me inside”
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“shit ill get her some”
Ogawa does some schpiel about teamwork and asks Hibiki for an idea on what to do with Tsubasas image even though he’s supposed to be the manager and it’s just general prattle.
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Everyone gets briefed about the delivery. Ryoko’s soccer mom van sticks out like a sore thumb. Nobody on the Lydian campus asks why there are 5 cars outside the building with men in suits and fucking Hibiki standing there with them why are these children so fucking incurious.
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“this feels like the world’s most important weed delivery, but im going to deliver the SHIT out of that weed”
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“hibiki please its not weed”
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“ALRIGHT FAM LETS DELIVER THE SHIT OUT OF THIS WEED”
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Big thick black cars surround Ryoko’s tiny vehicle as they all drive in unison to the drop point.
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No fucking around here. The weed must be delivered.
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The weed? Secured as shit.
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“its not fucking weed it’s a goddamned french sword okay god”
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“ROAD’S LOOKIN’ A-OKAY FOR OUR WEEEED DRIIIIIIVE”
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PSYCHE, NO IT AINT. ROAD’S CRACKING UP HARD. COMES APART, CAR FUCKING EXPLODES!
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“oh my god we seriously arent fucking around here those guys are fucking dead”
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“bruh you never delivered weed before? that shit happens all the time”
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“anyway grab on to something ‘cause we’re gonna initial d this shit”
youtube
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“i thought we were delivering WEED not SUSHI”
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“WEED... SUSHI... IT’S ALL FUCKING METAPHORS, HIBIKI. AND WE’RE GONNA DELIVER EM!”
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“now ORDER UP, MOTHERFUCKER”
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Every car is destroyed.
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Ryoko flips the car like nobody’s business.
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“ryoko! the kansai drift was too strong!”
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“your delivery’s late, pal. that’s gonna have to come out of your tip.”
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“jokes on you! you already paid the tip beforehand online!”
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“oh, we’re going with pizza jokes now? is that what we’re doing? yeah, sure, whatever”
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Unfortunately, Chris ordered her pizza with meat, extra crispy.
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“FUCK, i cant see anything. now i don’t know if they have the weed- i mean, the sushi- er, the pizza- god i hate all these JOKES”
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RYOKO SUMMONS A FUCKING SHIELD OUTTA NOWHERE WHILE HIBIKI’S KNOCKED OUT COLD
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“yo hol’ up a moment did this pervert manage to summon a shield”
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“are- are you able to fight the noise? are you fucking kidding me? this entire time when literal children were fighting these battles, you literally could have fought back effectively? are we but mere playthings to you? is this really the bullshit im seeing?”
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“uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i can only make shields. piss shields, out of piss”
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“that is absolute fucking bullshit”
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“but i believe it.”
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Hibiki has primed her fists and is about to show how much she’s improved combat wise, which is actually a lot.
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Nevermind, she tripped again. Turns out, Symphogears fight in heels constantly, which is absolutely fucking horrifying. Hibiki realizes this, and then
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FUCKING BREAKS THE HEELS LIKE NOBODY’S BUSINESS.
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AND THEN SHE WRECKS SHOP WITHOUT BREAKING A GODDAMN SWEAT
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“oh shit how the fuck did she improve this quickly”
The suitcase where the sword is stored opens up. That means it’s activating.
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Immediate fear.
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“alright bruce lee you mightve mastered a thousand kicks but you better change your gameplan because im about to realign that pretty little face of yours”
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“thank god you kicked me. needed you to get closer so i could kick your ass, after all”
The fucking suitcase, I shit you not, pops open immediately with the sword flipping to the sky like a bad Gmod toy as it suddenly stays floating, perfectly still.
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“ive officially lost track on what the hell is happening”
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The sword just floats there, as a sword does.
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“you know how many fried turkeys i can cut open with that bad boy? that shits mine now.”
Chris goes to get it.
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“fuck you! im going to slice HONEYBAKED HAMS with that sword!”
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Hibiki intercepts it and takes the sword.
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Now Hibiki becomes a proud Stand owner, having acquired the power of The World and stopping time at will.
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“oooooh holy shit”
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Hibiki, now channeling the power of Durandal, feels the raw strength of a completed relic all through her body.
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Real spicy stuff running through her veins.
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The power unleashing itself into a raw stream of piss skyrocketing into the stratosphere.
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“the pizza has been delivered... all according to plan...”
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“...she was right. honeybaked ham was the superior meat to slice...”
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Hibiki is channeling a power source so ancient, so powerful, that through using her as a conduit, the sword actually finishes itself into its full, completed form.
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Holy shit, Hibiki.
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Goddamn. That’s a really sexy sword, actually! Pretty nice...
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...oh.
You’re not looking so hot, pal...
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“why is it that every opponent of mine can literally asspull all this garbage and im stuck here looking like a bad kamen rider villian getting my ass kicked every time. its not fair.”
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Ryoko looks extremely hyped for this event. Maybe a little too much so.
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“MAN FUCK THIS NONSENSE IM PUTTING AN END TO THE SUPER SENTAI POWERUP”
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“O-OH FUCK- uh, i didnt say that. totally swear. you uh, keep doing that. yeah. aha.”
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“SLICED...”
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“...HONEYBAKED...”
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“oh god. oh god. im sorry. im sorry. im so sorry. oh fuck im so sorry. honeybaked ham is better. fuck turkeys. fuck drumlegs. fuck any sort of fried meat. honeybaked ham is better please im begging you dont vore me or slice me in half IM BEGGING YOU OH GOD”
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“...HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM!”
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“ham..... mmmmm... honeybaked ham....”
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“WHO YELLED ABOUT HAM? god, im hungry now.”
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Hibiki wakes up from it all after passing out, expressing a power of magnitudes unheard of, as if it were all a bad dream.
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“YEAH THATS RIGHT WE HAD TO DELIVER THE WEED PIZZA AND I WANTED HAM AND- THE SWORD, YEAH! THE SWORD!”
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To her disappointment, amongst this wanton destruction, no ham was found. Ryoko clues her in that Hibiki just single handedly completed a relic, and though the entire place is a mess, the mission wasn’t a complete failure. They’ll just have to return the relic back to base, now the entire location is, conveniently, destroyed.
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“yeah yeah. the weed made it. the sushi made it. the pizza made it. what didnt we deliver today?”
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“...”
“singing really does make you hungry, huh?”
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“at least the jury is still out on that one, so to speak”
so to speak is right, phoenix :T
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“I WANTED TO KILL YOU. WAAHHHH”
ok rayfa. easy there.
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aw. the dad is so strong that he cant even bear to see the murder brat sad. 
hdgdhfgh im gonna die he’s trying to cheer her up by acting like the bad guy
at the risk of sounding tumblry, phoenix wright is a cinnamon roll, to pure or whatever 
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...is this kooraheen’s ‘happy people’?
.....i don't like it
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ahlbi doesn’t get to be an assistant but he does get to carry all my unwanted crap!
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“first the high priest, and then his disciple! maya fey will pay for this!”
ah yes, she’ll pay for killing off people we recently proved to be dangerous insurgents. 
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WHOA OK GRAPHIC 
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well ok there’s no possible way Maya could have killed him that night.
“they think she came down the stairs and stabbed him” yes in front of 200 praying people. no, they weren't looking up but probably the sound of a knife being driven into flesh and also footsteps may have alerted them???
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rayfa wants to know how a time of death is determined, not for real... but because she wants to know what the idiot groundlings believe ?
either she’s an idiot and she doesn’t realize its completely legitimate, or the writers are still trying to make fun of religion via the “science and religion don't mix” joke which quite frankly is getting REALLY TIRESOME
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ok... well I'm not scientific expert but doesn’t the body eventually reach a steady temperature? how could you determine how long the body took to cool down if it was cooled down for a long enough period of time? also, it was really cold on that mountain. 
something tells me this will be useful later.
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again capcom, pointing out how unlikely your plot is doesnt make it better. it makes it worse.
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“I will curse you and your disciples for eight generations!”
I'm pretty sure apollo and the series has already been cursed, mrs. inmee.
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every time she kisses his picture i cry 
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Zehlot arrived at the same time as Maya, but Mrs. Inmee is more inclined to believe that Maya is a murderer? I mean yes she supposedly killed off the other two, but jeez. Talk about favouritism. 
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they let us check out the trash again... simply for a joke about phoenix digging through trash. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
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katchu-dehmal, eh? Pokémon gonna sue 
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hey um mrs. inmee
you've got a little something on your wrist...............
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“Puhray always prayed a lot”
the terrible naming convention just makes that sound incredibly stupid
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“She may say these terrible things, but it was just the way she was raised, I guess”
um... a lesson in tolerance i guess
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“I didn’t know him very well”
you didnt know the guy you stayed with for two years?? man i guess Puhray really did pray the most.
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i love that theyre mentioning ramen and burgers
and also that phoenix is offering to buy for maya
its the little things that make this game liveable 
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everybody loves steel samurai!!!
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“Whooops... its coming undone... WHOA!”
yes, it is indeed a very sexy picture. nice legs.
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“tentacled hag frog”
what is this, last airbender??
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“a spirit’s memory is cut off at the moment of death”
well of course. that’s how Mia was able to come to court knowing what was going on and being able to set phoenix on the right direction!
genius retcon there, guys. I guess that’s why Mia doesn’t make a comeback in this game :/
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“helped neighbouring countries seek counsel”
actually thats an interesting callback to the original games where they state that before DL-6, Misty and Kurain village were famous for helping out people in high places. this i do not mind so much.
... though i doubt this would prevent you being invaded, Kooraheen. Also considering she mentions ‘keeping their unique culture’ as an aside to that fact, and the fact that a lot of this fictional country is based off of Tibet... Ouch.
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“ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS!!!”
hey, there’s that ol’ Khumerican spirit!
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“so the queen can perform the dance of devotion? that’d be a sight to see”
Phoenix stop imaging the queen in a mini skirt.
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“theres no reason to panic, the police are on his trail”
the police that let him run on foot out of a crowded courtroom. 
id say you can panic now.
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in exchange for his visual youthfulness, phoenix has physically aged considerably.
meanwhile, Gregory Edgeworth was rocking major wrinkles at 35 and he was fit as a fiddle.
Oh Capcom, when will your beauty-based cruelty end??
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are we legit going to search for Datz
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ok now i rly wanna hear what a Warb’aad sounds like.
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further proof that phoenix is a huge carnivore. i am pleased.
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boy kooraheen isn't very accessible is it. stairs everywhere
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i love that no matter where he is, phoenix is always buying food for children.
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alright enough fun stuff. into the absurdly spacious sewer we go!
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I'm legitimately laughing my ass off why is it so funny that Ahlbi didn’t know his dog could track scents????
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AAA WE’RE IN
WE’RE IN A FUCKIN SEWER
IM YELLIN
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...oh my god no... i stg... dont you dare 
OH GOD 
OHHH GOD 
fuck....
i dont know who’s stupider: the rebels or the police
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he... can eat... an entire apple... that is half the size of his face... in one bite.
this, truly, is a man to be feared
ranger hobo, your new nickname is Potential Vore Machine
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>phoenix likes apples
further proof he is a good boy
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wow thats even worse
i thought they’d just put their base in the sewers, but no; their base is an OLD LAW OFFICE AKA THE FIRST PLACE YOU’D LOOK FOR LAWYER REBELS
again, not sure who’s stupider: the rebels, or the police?
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“public enemy #1 is a lawyer? didnt see that coming”
clearly you expect more from this game, phoenix
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“Im gonna sell out my best friend!”
>doubt
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OH OK NEVER LOOK SURPRISED AGAIN CLOSE YOUR VORE MOUTH JESUS CHRIST
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if he wasnt a rebel anymore he'd have kicked your ass since youre a lawyer, phoenix. its not that hard to put together that he’s lying. ...for some reason. 
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LAME. YOU cant show him your badge??? bullshit.
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fucking christ even when he whistles his mouth is larger than it should be. 
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he really is rebel!larry isn’t he
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so Dhurke has a power glare, huh? 
GLARE OFF WITH EDGEWORTH, GLARE OFF WITH EDGEWORTH, GLARE OFF WITH EDGEWORTH
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“is this a law book? the dragon’s mark has been branded onto the cover...”
pfffttt edgy 
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hmm. must be a new law-book if the defence culpability act is in it, since if i remember correctly that law was only recently introduced.
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i love that Dhurke’s shit is just everywhere in this stupid house
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...no way is he actually doing to
i...
like
i can’t even say punk’d. Phoenix, why would you try on a jacket that once belonged to a rebel leader while inside a rebel base that you’re not even sure is friendly to you? 
like i 
sense of preservation just goes out the window at the idea of looking cool?? actually to be fair that kind of makes sense for Phoenix so 
phoenix you should take it home and get it dry-cleaned.
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“hmm this is an old photo...” says phoenix looking at a photo that’s as bright and shiny as the day it was taken. also he correctly guesses that it was taken 20 years ago based on... what evidence??
actually if he actually acknowledged that thats OBVIOUSLY APOLLO THERE then he’d have an actual metric to go by but NOPE! just bullshit magic deductions!
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yeah or Nahyuta’s pulling a long game and you assholes are too impatient 
i cant believe I'm defending sadmad :/
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WAIT A SECOND. ARE YOU TELLING ME....... THAT KID WHO LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE APOLLO....... IS APOLLO?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?
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somehow Datz carried Phoenix through a tiny trapdoor and into this room huh
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yay psyche locks!
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YES!!!! YEEEEES!!! I GOT TO PRESENT MY BADGE
Soj... you may not be... completely horrible.
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yeah phoenix, he was going to stab you if he thought you were on the side of the Queen
feel even stupider about that jacket now?
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“Keera was working with the government the whole time?!”
well i mean what other motivation would they have? even if they were doing it for religious reasons that still lines up with the government’s intentions. 
this whole thing has a blacklisting smell on it too.
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“a lawyer killed the queen, so the public turned against lawyers”
if that was how things worked, America would loath actors. 
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“why does he have to jump like that before running off”
cause he’s a cartoon character 
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“Well I guess we’re friends now”
oh phoenix 
my lonely baby
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also where the fuck is Shah’do? That dog is a better policeman than every official in Kooraheen.
and i love that nobody notices people entering and exiting a sewer in broad daylight.  
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well that was exactly where i thought it was
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WOW GOOD GOING PHOENIX YOU DUMBFUCK
“HURRRHH I THINK ILL GO FIDN TH  SOOPER SECRET REBEL BASE WITH THE FUCKING PRINCESS IN-TOW. GENIUS!!!!”
OH YES, AND THEN TELL HER EXACTLY WHAT IT IS. AND THEN LET HER COME INSIDE WITH YOU WITHOUT THE INTENT TO SHUT HER UP
BRILLIANT!!
PHOENIX WRIGHT, TRULY THE REBEL’S GREATEST ALLY.
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ohhhhHHHHHhhhh
well well well well well well
this is interesting
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“I think I’ll take a picture of this super secret rebel base”
hhhnnngghhhh
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search every nook and cranny eh
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“if the rebellion ever happens, i hope its bloodless”
while that’s sweet of you phoenix, you can count on it now, sincE YOU’VE REVEALED THE SOURCE OF THEIR WEAPONRY TO THE ENEMY
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“What’s this? A bloodstain?”
Hope it is not Chris’ bloodstain...
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CURSED NOISE
CURSED NOISE
TURN IT OFF!!!
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this is where capcom hides characters they don’t like
Klavier is somehwere in this room....... festering
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well we’ve come to the end of another investigation 
tbh I'm starting to get into the storyline, though it still doesn’t feel like an Ace Attorney game
it’s more like... it’s like someone took their Ace Attorney AU and made an entire game about it. It’s got some cool points to it, but all in all, it just doesn’t... fit, I guess?
Oh well. onto trial #2 and saving Maya’s butt once again
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yumenosakiacademy · 7 years
Text
Me.trocon 2017 Saturday
diary for future me, read if you want but it’s rly only 4 myself tbh. Cosplayed: mik.an Tsumiki
OKAY so the morning was rly bad and hectic and i dont like remembering it but i woke up and got ready bc the lol.ita fashion show was at 10 am and dad n i left and dad stopped by burger king to get himself some food but my cramps flared up BADLY and i had a midol in my bag so i took it out but im afraid of pills and cant swallow them so i was shaking and then i started crying and the drive-thru girl was like “oh gosh are you okay?” and i explained what was going on but rushed and sloppily and she was like “oh this happens to my lil sis too.. it’s okay sweetie just relax” or soething and i had dad park the car in the parking lot of burger king and for me to put my midol in a BK crospy crown and take a huge bite and swallow but that backfred and i chewed some of the pill and it was Blegh but the midol didnt kick in right away and the cramps were still v bad so i had dad rive me home so i could lie down for a while and i asked mom to use the heater bc she accidentally woke up so i asked her while she was awake and she kept saying no bc she liked it but when i begged she let me use her bed and used mine and it barely helped but overtime i gradually geew okay and hadd to calm myself so the stress wouldnt make my cramps return and i left at like 11 am and i missed the BB panel too but it’s Okay and i walked in and met up w haji near the ticket place and thankfully her mom let us wander around the con
so we went to the GF panel but i was mainly distracted by a small octopus plushie on some guy’s head and haji n i kept joking abt us knocking it off his head and abt the guy playing space jam and bassboosted music outside the panel room and it being audible whenever someone opened the door to leave or come in pff... but the dipper did the lamby dance and it was cute aa and the dipper offered ppl in the audience scooby snacks to any of the audience so haji n i had one n it was rly good aa i hadnt had one of those in years theyre Yummy...
Anyway, after that, i tried to go to the DR meetup, but it was rly rly tiny?? like we held it inside w like 2 handfuls of ppl and we tried to get the junkos to step on the tsumikis (there were 3 of us, including me) w 2 junkos bc i requested it but the junkos didnt wanna accidentally pantyshot the camera so we got up from our kneeling positions haha and haji went to the dealers room for a while while this was going on and i tried to help the mikan when she said she got a cut on her face but she said it was alright and eventualy haji came back and i left w her and we decided not to go to the m.lp panel that i kind of wanted to go to and instead went to the dealers room and looked around and i showed her the idol merch table and haji said she’d buy me anything bc she didnt get to give me a birthday present earlier on in the year so i looked around for a Big hamster plushie or something but those seemed expensive so we came back to the idol table and got me the tori keychain i’d been wanting since yesterday or thirsday and haji got a tsukasa and then we ran into the ppl running the fine panel and we all joked abt “ALL WOMEN ARE QUEENS, EICHI!!” 
and we walked around for a bit more before going to the rw.by panel but we could barely hear and we had to sit at the back of the room due to lack of seats so haji and i just whispered to eachother the whole time and i had haji read part of an en.stars smut fic w impregnation kink (just kink not actual mpreg) and a lil stupid thing i wrote abt rei and koga and then we watched the service dog near us near the other corner and watched it lick the carpet and Rest and enjoyed watchin it then we tried to walk around and someone asked for a pic of me but i was like “UHH WHERES MY SYRINGE PROP” so haji thought i elft it on the floor of the other panel and she left to go find it while i waited near these ppl bc they were just hanging out anyway and i kept worrying like “shes been gone for a while.. is she okay this shouldve been quick oh god” and my cramps started returning a lil but i tried to keep myself calm and the uraraka was like “are you okay i can go try n retkrkieve her if she got lost” and i was like “it’s okay” and eventually i checked deep in my bag and found it and i tried to call haji but she arrived just as i called her and i was like “i found it im sorry aa” and then we Ran to the en.stars panel
AND THE EN.STARS PANEL WAS SO SO MUCH FUN!! I have the first half recorded on video and since it’s rly late rn, i wont type too much abt that, but i asked eichi if he was anyone’s sugar daddy and, if not, would he be mine and he said he was kind of one to hajime and bought him lots of things and haji asked who was the most into minions and it was apparently Tori and i showed them the scooby doo au i made w some of haji’s assistance and showed wtaru (and the others) the Scoobkai Doonata that i drew and they all were laughing and i wa glad aa and the topic of vore came up again and i showed them shino’s ku.rochia vore post and the kiryu was like “OH MY GOD CAN I GIV U MY TWITTER SO I CAN BE SENT THAT” and the panelists were laughing and tori read the tweet aloud while laughing and i told them the ensemble vore account and eichi was like “well, theyve prob gained more followers today” and i asked if anyone in the audience wanted to see it and omeone rasied their hand so i showed them and they were laughing too and it was Wild.wataru apparently named his doves after fine members and tomoya, and i asked kiryu if he could lift rabits + fine and they nodded and i later asked if he knew that he’s a thicc bara and the fandom thirsts for him and he laughed and nodded. Haji asked them if they’d heard rainbow circus nightcore bassboosted and the eichi said they played it at practice ssometimes (i thick this was ooc not in-character answer) and someone in the audience actually KNEW the person who made that and messaged them and they messaged them that tori said they liked them and the rainbow cisurcus stuff and the person replied w “ Why” and honestly this whole panel was FUN but so someone told us where the en.stars buttons were so the fine group, their friend the kiryu, haji, and i all went to the booth and got buttons and i said goodbye to eeryone and walked around for a minute then haji n i went into the vol.tron talk panel and haji had to leave aww and after that the vol.tron panel was mostly shitty fanfic reading, swearing, and roasts and i wanted to go to vol.tronival but for reason i thought thatd be rude bc the panelists were like “we have to compete w... THAT” and so i stayed and went on my ipad most of the time.
I went to the per.sona 5 q and a and it was so full that i had to stand in the back but they sometimes kept bringing up per.sona 4 and perso.na 3 so i was confused and they said they were abt to start trivia and it might have spoilers so i took that opportunity to leave bc i dont want spoilers and it was kind of boring so i walked around the dealers room and i found a Rock and Uno and i talked to them and turns out the Rock was actually the mondo from the day before bc they said “hey, sweetie!” in a nice tone and i was confused and they were like “ah im the mondo btw!” so we talked and i talked abt how i watched both seasons of nan.baka in like.. 2 days and i was like “uno’s best boy-” and rock (as a joke) went deadpan and walked away and i was like “ROCK IS ALSO A GOOD BOY JUST.. UNO...” and rock came back and i said that uno and nico stole my heart and uno fistbumped me and rock was like “you should cosplay w us sometime~!” and i said i was considering doing uno but couldnt and i cant do most of the characters bc long sleeves and rock said i’d be cute as the chinese qi kid and i was like “i cant paint myself either but thank you!” and they had to leave but i got rock’s tumblr and they called me cute or sweet and i looked around the dealers room for a second more before scurrying to the LL panel and apparently the thing was 2 hours??
but anyway it was p funny and we all just messed around and did q and a and games like handshake  killer and karaoke! i sang half of Sentimental Liars but my voice wasnt as loud as i wouldve liked it and kind of shaky bc i was cold and Nervous and the nico from the panel and another random guy clapped for me and the 2 en.stars fans in front of me said my voice sounded nice and at some point i overheard those 2 talking abt making a screamo cover of melody in the dark and i was like “omfg are yall gonna actually make a cover. go fully hardcore” and Dead girl walking and candy store got sung and it was a Fun panel. the kiryu from earlierwalked in too so when everyone was talkign to eachother near the end of the panel, i asked shino if they wanted to say anything to the kuro and shino asked them how ranking went and the kiryu said they couldnt rank and shino was just so happy and keysmashing and asked f i could say “pls lift me mr.bara” and the kiryu chuckled and the kiryu was like “do they want me to like.. do anyfin?” so i asked shino and all he said was “DAB” so i took a pic of the kiryu dabbing and shino said they hadnt been feeling well so it cheered them up so i told the kiryu that and they said to tell shino that that made them happy and when the kiryu and i swapped tumblr apparently they already follow me and im like “FGNEGN DUDE.. I KNO U IVE SEEN U IN MY FOLLOWERS LIST IM YUMENOSAKIACADEMY ROX...” n they were like “oH” and they showed me a funny post abt shu and i proposed a tri.ch shu hc and then they ahd to leave but i stayed for the vol.tron panel but i was messaging shino thru most of it but i saw lynds (as lance) get hugged by the panel’s lance and i read some en.stars doujins and messaged another friend too so i wasnt paying much attention, then istill stayed in the room for the rw.by panel, but same i was just on my ipad but i saw some of the dares and the jaune sang and stuff and evemtually it was over and i walked around taking pics before going outside to wait for dad to pick me up 
and i took a pic of a pidge, lance, and keith and gav em lollipops and the pidge was like “omg ur nails.. wait, did u go to a hai.kyuu panel last year?” and i was like “ah, no i was casu.al d v a” and they were like “yea, but u went TO  a hai.kyuu panel, yea?” and i said yea and they were like “aa i was the hinata u talked to. i recognized u bc the nails” and i laughed bc thats my only noticable feature, huh. pff
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