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muselin · 8 months

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Sometimes I'm on here (here being the kpop real person smut writing scene) and just.... the amount of thought policing, moral policing and whatever the fuck other moral posturing and hypocrisy is just fucking heavy.

Look, there's no way you can't justify YOUR particular way of sexualising kpop idols as more "right" than someone else's and still claim freedom of expression and creativity. People are horny, people write and read all kinds of genres of smut for all kinds of purposes. Some do it as mental gymnastics, others as a creative challenge, others as a way of exploring their own sexuality and dealing with sexual traumas, some just as a horny outlet. At the end of the day, we are all writing and reading FICTION. We do not personally know the idols we write about and 99.9% of us never will. What we do is no different than the endless amounts of chatter and imaginary thought vomit about various western celebrities on twitter or whatever. It's a hive mind of opinions, fantasies, observations and wishful thinking.

Then there are the facts of the kpop smut writer hive mind, such as that the vast majority of writers are either female or non-binary and represent a vast spectrum of neurodiverse and mental health conditions as well. The role of culture differences in beliefs about sexuality and sexual behaviour is also vast and hugely important. These types of creative communities have been surviving sexism, ageism, discrimination, kink shaming, erasure and creative stifling and undervaluing for decades, and I would never be so arrogant as to say that I know what's "right" to write about and what is not, and judge people for what they choose to write simply because I personally don't like it.

Personally I don't like pregnancy fics, they give me a bit of ick. I also don't enjoy ones to do with having kids, weddings and marriage. Is it because I personally don't want to be married or have children? Actually no, I want both! I just have other preferences in the sort of fics I read. Do I go around blocking, shit talking and witch hunting the authors who post those type of fics? No. Why? Well, because while I understand the concept of curating what I see online, I can also consider the fact that some day one of those fics might pop up on my dash that intrigues me and that I end up loving, and if I've put myself in a bubble where that whole genre is erased from my online experience I will never have that chance. Also because I've gone through so many phases as a reader and writer myself, and I understand that my preferences and that of the readership may change with time. And this has happened with like half a dozen kinks for me, like when I first saw or heard of them I was somewhat repulsed or turned off, but after either learning more about it or having an IRL experience with it I've come to enjoy it and changed my mind. I mean come on, when you think about even something like anal sex too hard you can gross yourself out, and in some countries around the world it is illegal, but humans have been doing it from before we created writing.

Please be a little more open minded and curious rather than judgmental. And don't kink shame.

#aunty muselin

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xxatinyminionxx · 3 years

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I thought seeing TXT talk about how they would play Squid Game would cheer you up 😁

Ah thank you ❤️

#aunty muselin #muselin #minion asks #minion soft hours #squid game #kpop #txt #tomorrow x together #yeonjun #soobin #huening kai #beomgyu #taehyun

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muselin · 11 months

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Yeah, sorry for all the spam stuff. I just realised you've sent me some stuff I haven't responded b/c I haven't been active on here and so here I am.

I was going to send this through a DM but I feel like this may help someone so I'm going to send it through an ask.

I re-read your advice on @xiuminswifeforever ask about how they felt some sort of distress about whether to have a hoe phase or wait for an emotional connection.

And the bit that stuck out to me was when you mentioned about being 'good' in bed and having enthusiasm in the bedroom.

Now obviously, our views and opinions towards sex are quite different and it's why I like having these conversations with you.

But I do agree in that I think it's so important to at least gain experience with yourself if you're waiting for the right partner.

I have a high drive myself (I'm an Aries too, I get it) and so for the past 10+ years, I've been on my own journey of 'sensual exploration'.

And I can honestly say with a lot of confidence that I pretty know much know what my dynamics are (I'm a switch) and what my likes and dislikes are with having a thumbtack worth of experience with others b/c of things like reading smut, having toys, listening to nsfw bf asmr audios etc.

Like, I know I'm into scent play and corruption w/o experiencing it in person.

I know degradation and breeding is a turn-off for me w/o ever experiencing it in person.

I'm very insecure with my lack of sexual experience, it's obvious, I get that, I can't even deny it.

BUT!

I am confident and believe enough in myself to say that I think I'm going to be 'good' in my performance the first time.

In that I'm going to be enthusiastic, kind of know what I'm doing and not starfish b/c I know what I like and have taken A LOT of time in figuring that out.

Plus, I know extra things like having a pillow under my hips, taking extra time in prep, choosing a gentle pace is going to ensure that both me and my partner have a great experience.

And so while I think that yes, solo activity can only help you to a certain point.

I do believe your performance and 'game' is tremendously improved when you figure out what it is that you personally enjoy and get pleasure from ❤️

Yeah, their whole question was about how to be "good" in bed and actually there are quite a lot of rather specific things that contribute to that. It's not just down to it being "the right" person. They may not be the most "right" person at the start even if the emotional connection is there and to expect that is setting some people up to fail. Good communication skills across the board go far, but not everyone is equally good at all types of communication. A lot of what makes sex good is verbal AND non-verbal communication. And both are a skill that can be improved. The better you are at it, the more "right" you can be for more people because it makes you adaptable and able to connect to more people. It literally widens your pool of potential people to really click sexually with as well as emotionally.

And what you said aligns with the view I was conveying as well. If you don't know what you like, it places a lot of pressure on the other person to get it right and they don't even know what they're aiming for, it's like making them take a test without ever delivering the lessons it's on. And thinking about and exploring in your head different things you may be interested in is a great way to get "practice" without ever getting naked in a bed with another person. I can get nerdy about it but it is scientifically observable that people can get better at certain physical skills by just visualising and practicing them in their head, it lights up many of the same areas in the brain which light up when you're actually physically doing the action. It's called mental practice (cognitive rehearsal of physical skill without actual movement) if anyone wants to Google the studies.

I may not be demisexual like your OP mentioned they were I think, but if anything I do feel it's even MORE important for a demisexual to get in tune with themselves and work out their limits and boundaries with sex. What are they willing to do that stops short of sex? Hugging? Kissing? Groping over clothes? Being naked from the waist up? Showering together? Sleeping in the same bed? If it's difficult you can literally go down a checklist and think "I like the idea of this and this, but not that". That can really help communicate your boundaries and set expectations fairly when you do get into a relationship as a demisexual, regardless of whether the other person has a more typical sex drive, is asexual or demisexual like OP.

#🌟star babes #sex talk #sex education #aunty muselin

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muselin · 11 months

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Hey… just want to ask for opinion. Im 25 and isit okay to be a virgin? I always wonder how isit feels to have sex 😞

If it was your choice and you decided to stay a virgin, of course it's okay. It's your personal choice. If you don't want to be a virgin but you just haven't found the right person to have your first time with yet, then that's okay too, it isn't your fault. I'd say the only time it isn't okay to be a virgin is when you're of legal age, you want to have sex but someone is actively preventing you from having a sex life. Then that's not okay because that's abuse and that's a much bigger problem. It depends on where you live as well. If you live in a country where sex outside of marriage is illegal, then that makes things much more complicated.

As for how it feels to have sex, it's so subjective, it's impossible to accurately describe it because everyone experiences it differently. Personally I love sex though 😁

#sex talk #aunty muselin

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xxatinyminionxx · 3 years

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Because we and Tae love you

It’s my first time seeing this, thank you 💞💞

#aunty muselin #muselin #minion asks #minion soft hours #kpop #txt #tomorrow x together #taehyun

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muselin · 3 years

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Hey so I wont say who, but I have a in-law who kinda looks like a (hot) idol and it's been quite hard to see him irl... what do I do 😵

Oh that's rough! It's torture having to be around hot people who are off limits. It's not easy when you can't stop staring at them and probably fantasizing about them

I've been there a few times, once with a boyfriend's best friend and once with another boyfriend's brother. Both were hot and when I was in a room together with them at the time, I would automatically look at them when they spoke, or when I was speaking. It's very hard to control, your eyes automatically drift to the person in the room that you're interested in the most.

So I made up a few rules to help myself through it. If I had stared a lot for a while, i would make sure to pay a lot of attention to someone else in the room afterwards, to balance it out and make it look less suspicious lol

And if they were REALLY REALLY hot and I was fantasizing about them, i would try to balance that out too. Like for example if all I was thinking was "Oh my god, he's so hot, i wonder what it would be like to kiss him", i would then make myself think something like "Well actually, just because he's hot doesn't mean he's a good kisser. He could be a terrible kisser and if we ever kissed, it wouldn't even be worth it and I'd have to deal with how awkward that would be. Not to mention the fact that if anyone found out all hell would break loose."

I hope this can help you a little. But you know what, we all get dirty thoughts about the wrong people so you can always talk to me about it ❤

#no judgment zone #no judgies #no judgment here #no judgement #aunty muselin #not a real aunt tho #single child over here

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xxatinyminionxx · 3 years

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Aunty Muselin has a friend who didn't find anyone special until he was 28. And he's perfectly lovely, a sweet person, super helpful, a great friend, cute. He just seemed like he wasn't sure what he wanted out of a special person in his life, he just wanted one. But that kept making him attract people who weren't in it for the right reasons, only really for him to boost their self-esteem and then they left him. And so my friend was becoming more and more convinced that he was undesirable and nothing I said could change his mind. At least he listened to me ans his other friends and kept looking. There were definitely a few duds along the way but eventually he found someone that truly liked him for who he was 💙

It is a little sad, with these kind of things. But it's like anything, friendships and relationships really only have one of two outcomes - either they end or they last forever. But the memories will always stick around.

You are special, boo. Definitely special to us, and at the right time, to whoever else is meant to come your way. Sometimes even to people you had no idea you wanted ❤

(From Sept. 13)

Thank you for this Aunty Muselin, and congratulations to your friend ❤️❤️

#it was nice to read this anecdote #and your wise thoughts #might start calling you aunty muselin #muselin #minion asks #minion soft hours #minion rambles

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