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#because once i turn 21 and have easy access it's gonna be a thousand times harder
mental-skillness · 19 days
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"This is gonna be my last pack for sure. I'm gonna taper myself off," i say, three days before i get someone to buy me a second pack
#i worked a graveyard shift and on the way home i drove around for 2 hours#and at a gas station i saw a homeless guy ive talked to a few times and paid him to get me a pack#idk i feel bad about it#like he agreed and he got something out of it too but it feels like a shitty thing to have done#like i feel manipulative for it#and on top of that there's the guilt for getting a second pack at all#bc how am i ever gonna quit if i keep doing that?#like i only have a year to stop#because once i turn 21 and have easy access it's gonna be a thousand times harder#and the issue is that i don't WANT to stop#i just don't want to die at 60 from a heart attack#and that's what's gonna happen if i never quit#like heart attacks are one of the most common smoking fatalities#and heart issues already run in my family#and i already take adderall (adhd not recreational) which probably puts strain on my heart even without smoking#but i really really like being able to smoke#i like having something i can fall back on#and it's so easy to imagine a life where i never make myself give that up#and there's also the added benefit that it feels.... validating? in a way?#like it feels like proof that i struggle with shit#bc healthy people aren't addicted to cigarettes#and that almost feels manipulative too#bc i already HAVE proof that i struggle with shit#i take SNRIs every day and have a history of suicidal ideation/behavior going back as far as i can remember#which means this isn't about validation#it's about wanting other people to see that I'm struggling and assume things are worse than they are#and tbh maybe it's about wishing things WERE worse than they are#like if my mental health is bad enough for me to be a smoker then maybe it's bad enough for me to act the way i do#but deep down i know that's not really true#i chose to start smoking and i had to go out of my way to do it
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katjacksonbooks · 4 years
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And here we are at the end! 
Even though the first request was about Monica, Kierra and Lane, this was the hardest to wrap my head around because these three should be running around the world, causing havoc (and then fixing it!) but now they can’t. And while Lane and Kierra respond fairly well to that, Monica doesn’t. 
So I guess I just want to tell you all that however you’re feeling is valid and I hope you’re taking care of yourself. I also hope you’re reaching out to people who can support you emotionally, make you laugh, hang out on the skype chat while you cry, and tell you gently that you might never be a famous baker but your misshapen loaf of bread looks good. 
If you’re looking to read more with these three, check out Pink Slip and New Year, New We at these retailers
Pink Slip: Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Apple, Kobo 
New Year, New We: Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Apple, Kobo
You can also pick up these books for whatever you’d like to pay as part of the Three Is a Great Number bundle on payhip
And/or you can request these ebooks at your local library on Overdrive. 
Be well <3
Isolation Day 4
 Monica was working at her desk.
She’d been there long enough that her back ached, her eyes were tired and dry, and her vision was just a bit blurry, but she didn’t want to check the clock. She didn’t want to know how long she’d been here or how much longer she planned to be here.
“Quitting time, boss,” Kierra said in a surprisingly sunny voice.
Monica only looked up at her briefly, not long enough to let herself actually see her. “Okay,” she said, cringing at her dry voice and sore throat. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d called Kierra for anything to drink. Her eyes darted to the corner of her desk, and she spotted a full bottle of water, untouched.
“You coming?” Kierra asked.
“No, you go. I’ll be up in a bit.” Monica turned back to her laptop and tried to focus on the words on the screen, but her left eye was so tired it had started to burn.
“No, thanks,” Kierra said. “That doesn’t work for me.”
Monica looked up with a frown. “Excuse me?”
“I said that doesn’t work for me. You down here until after midnight, falling asleep at your desk doesn’t work for me. Let’s go.” As she spoke, Kierra walked toward Monica’s desk, and then she boldly pushed Monica’s laptop closed with her left hand and placed both hands palms down on Monica’s desk.
Monica was tired, but not too tired that her eyes didn’t dip down the deep v of Kierra’s shirt, where her breasts swayed slightly under the fabric. Monica frowned. She could have sworn Kierra had been wearing a bra at the beginning of the day.
“Let’s go,” Kierra said in a surprisingly hard tone that Monica had never heard from her.
“I only have two folders left to go through,” Monica said even though she didn’t need to justify her decisions to Kierra. She was the boss.
“Great,” Kierra said, holding Monica’s eyes with a sedate stare. “I’ll make sure they’re on your desk first thing tomorrow morning.”
“Quitting time,” Lane trilled as he came to stand in her office doorway. Monica almost lifted her eyes to him, ready to tell him to take Kierra upstairs, but she was certain that if she looked away from this standoff, Kierra would take the upper hand somehow.
“As I was telling Kierra,” Monica ground out, “I’ll be down here for a little longer.”
“And as I was telling Monica, that’s not an option. We’re off. Let’s go home.”
“You two alright?” Lane asked.
“We’re fine,” they said at the same time.
“My dick says otherwise,” Lane muttered.
“Don’t make me fire you,” Monica whispered to Kierra. She didn’t mean it, but if this was a powerplay, Monica was going to win; she always did. Or she always did under normal circumstances. There wasn’t any bite to her threat, and surely, they all knew that, but she didn’t expect Kierra to laugh.
It wasn’t necessarily full of mirth it sounded sarcastic, and maybe even challenging. This was yet another sound Monica hadn’t ever heard Kierra make. Her breasts, however, moved, invitingly.
“Oh, please,” Kierra said, “please fire me. I would love to watch you look for another PA who’s going to make sure your favorite coffee shop makes your lattes extra hot so that by the time it gets here it’s the perfect temperature, or who happily drives to get your favorite cheese from that bougie artisanal place, or who comes in early to print, collate, and organize all your work just the way you like it — from most to least annoying — and who does all of that in five-inch heels and a full face of makeup she’ll happily let you mess up whenever you like. Please. Fire me.”
Monica’s office was thick with tension, and not the sexual tension the three of them were used to. The silence stretched for an uncomfortable minute, and then Monica sighed and stood from her chair.
“Fine,” she said.
“Great. Who’s hungry?” Lane said with a single clap of his hands.
Kierra’s face transformed from a challenging stare to pure glee. “I’m starving,” she trilled in the high-pitched voice Monica recognized. She reached for Monica’s arms and held onto them with both hands, sidling up to her and pressing her soft breasts into Monica’s side.
“Are you hungry?” Kierra whispered to Monica in a gentle, warm tone.
Monica looked down at her, and now that she wasn’t sitting in her chair and her back could stretch — and twinge — she realized that she was hungry. And thirsty. And tired.
She nodded down at Kierra as Lane wrapped his arm around Monica’s waist, and he pressed a kiss to her temple. “I think I’m gonna fry some chicken,” he said in his thickest Texas accent.
 Isolation Day 10
 Monica was back at her desk.
Today she was compiling a list of her agents and assessing their needs.
Kenny was home with Maya and working some digital recon for some of their active missions currently on hold while, according to Kierra and Lane’s talk over dinner, helping Maya make some new self-isolation content for her cam channel. Apparently, it was going over very well.
There were a few agents who’d had to shelter in place while on a mission, which was dangerous and threatening to give Monica an ulcer. Some of them would likely be fine, while others were being forced to live in their covers twenty-four hours a day with limited or no access to their actual lives; their partners or parents and, in one case, their children. Monica was most worried about them and had been trying to figure out how to extract her agents without blowing up cases that had taken thousands of hours to put together. If that couldn’t be achieved, she was also working on her justification to her bosses about why her people were more important than the missions and hating that she might ever even have to state something so obvious.
“Drink some water,” Kierra said, placing a large glass on her desk.
“Thank you,” Monica replied, distracted.
“Now.”
Monica looked up at Kierra. She was standing on the other side of Monica’s desk with her arms crossed over her chest and that same hard glare on her face. Monica would have challenged her, but a glass of water was a foolish thing to pick a fight about, so she grabbed the glass and began to drink.
As soon as the liquid hit her tongue, she realized how thirsty she was, and she kept drinking, gulping the entire glass down in a few swallows. Kierra watched her the entire time.
Monica placed the glass back on the coaster, and Kierra snatched it up. “I’ll bring you another,” she said and then turned to flounce out of her office. Monica watched her leave and noted the bright smile on her face as she turned to wink at Monica over her shoulder, the bounce in her step, and the way her round ass jiggled under the skirt of her flowing dress.
 Isolation Day 15
 Monica slept in. She never did that.
Usually, she woke up before Lane or Kierra, and she was such a light sleeper that sometimes Kierra’s tossing and turning would wake her up in the middle of the night. But somehow, today, she’d slept through Lane and Kierra not only waking up but, knowing those two, fucking and then noisily getting ready together. That never happened, and it was actually a little bit worrying.
She rushed out of bed to shower and wash her hair, but the rush left her once she was under the spray. She took her time shampooing and conditioning her hair and decided to shave her legs while she was there. And then she took her time moisturizing her body, combing a leave-in hair mask into her hair. She brushed her teeth, washed her face, and then grabbed one of Kierra’s sheet masks and slapped it on her face while she picked out an outfit to wear.
She felt like an entirely new person — or like herself before all this — as she walked into Command.
As soon as she sat behind her desk, Kierra came rushing into her office with a cup of coffee in one hand, a muffin on a plate in the other, and a stack of files under her arm.
“I rescheduled your phone meeting with Asif, Lane’s handled that Skype chat with Chanté and Kenny, and here’s the new resource list for the op in Brussels. Let me know if you need anything else,” Kierra said. She placed everything on Monica’s desk, the food and coffee to her left side in easy reach and the files in front of her. And then she brushed her lips across Monica’s cheek before rushing from the room.
 Isolation Day 21
 “Quitting time, boss,” Lane said, standing in her office door with a tired smile on his face.
“I just have another email to send,” Monica said.
“Is it mission critical?”
“No, but I just want to get through it, and I might double-check the intel Carlisle sent yester—”
“No.”
Monica looked up at Lane. He was still smiling at her.
“I’m sorry?”
“Oh, no need to apologize,” he said with a brighter smile and a shrug. “I was sent down here to tell you that Kierra’s been baking bread all damn day, and she grilled some steaks for dinner.”
“Well, I’ll be up in a few,” Monica said through clenched teeth.
Lane laughed and shook his head. “It’s real cute, this thing you two have going on. You can come upstairs with me, or you can wait ‘til she comes to get you. Either way, we both know your presence at that dinner table is non-negotiable.” There was a pregnant pause between them. “Boss,” he added definitively.
Monica sighed and rolled her eyes. And then she stood from her chair. “That’s my girl,” he trilled at her.
 Isolation Day 30
 Monica had been under the shower spray so long that her fingertips were wrinkly. She’d lost track of time.
She turned the water off and stepped from the shower.
Kierra was waiting near the door. Monica wasn’t sure why, but seeing Kierra there staring at her made her feel…guilty. She wanted to say something, but she didn’t know what, and there was something about standing naked and dripping wet under Kierra’s gaze that made this moment seem slightly disconcerting.
“It’s Saturday,” Kierra said.
Monica squinted and frowned, “It is?”
“It is. Lane and I cleaned out the jacuzzi today. It’s hot now. We’re going to relax in it. All of us,” she said, just in case Monica was unsure. She’d been doing that a lot over the last month, telling Monica what the three of them would do day-to-day instead of asking. At first, it was shocking in its unfamiliarity, but now it had just become the new normal.
“I don’t know,” Monica hedged.
“I do. Now come on. I’ll let you pick out my bikini,” Kierra said and then walked into their bedroom.
***
“Oh, this feels good,” Lane groaned as he relaxed into the hot water.
“Is it helping your back?” Kierra asked.
Monica turned to Lane with furrowed brows. “What’s wrong with your back?” she asked, alarmed.
Lane grabbed Monica’s thigh under the water and squeezed. “Nothing but age,” he said. “Nothing but age.”
Kierra pressed herself against Lane’s other side and ran her nose against the sharp cut of his jaw. Monica noticed that Lane’s beard was thicker than he normally grew it, and she was shocked at how much gray there was there, much more gray than brown. There were soft wrinkles at the corners of his eyes and mouth, and she wondered if all those things had appeared over the past month or if she was just now noticing them.
And then her eyes flitted to Kierra. She looked so much younger than Lane, but there were changes with her, too. Her perfectly manicured nails were now bare of color and not as meticulously manicured as Monica was used to, and her shoulder-length straight hair was wavy now, with thicker, wavier hair at the roots.
But the thing that caught Monica’s attention wasn’t any of these superficial changes to their presentation, but the way they made her feel.
Lane squeezed her leg again, and Kierra opened her eyes to look at her.
“It’s okay,” Kierra whispered. “You can cry.”
And somehow, it was only when Kierra said the word that Monica realized that’s what she’d been running from over the past month and that she already was crying. Her eyesight blurred with the wetness in her eyes that soon spilled down her cheeks.
Lane moved his hand over Monica’s lap to pull her closer to him, and the small movement was like an invitation she didn’t know she needed. She collapsed into his side and buried her face in his neck. Lane turned his head and kissed her along her hairline.
And Kierra, who had become harder and more demanding as Monica had withdrawn into herself, practically draped herself across Lane’s chest to get to Monica. She wrapped her arm around Monica’s back and kissed her shoulder.
They held her while she finally cried.
 Isolation Day 31
 “Let us take care of you,” Lane whispered against her lips.
Monica wanted to protest that she took care of them; that was her job, but he pressed his mouth to hers, stopping her from being able to protest. And she let him. She didn’t know if it was the isolation fucking with her sense of time or just the intensity of this moment, but it felt as if it had been years since Lane had kissed her this way.
His mouth moved gently and slowly against hers, prying her lips open slowly by degrees before he slipped his tongue past her lips. Their tongues slid together and apart and together again as his hands roamed down her sides.
Monica wrapped her arms around his neck, playing with his hair — that was getting longer than she normally liked — but also keeping his mouth close.
Lane’s hips circled, pressing his erection into her mound. She wrapped her legs around his waist and he shifted his hips, the column of his shaft slipping between her lips.
She moaned into his mouth, and he smiled in return.
“Can I taste you?” he whispered again.
Monica moaned and nodded, somehow too overcome with how easily he knew exactly what she needed, even though he always had.
She closed her eyes and relaxed against the pillows as he kissed down her body, his beard, lips, and tongue creating an erotic sensory mix everywhere he moved. He sucked at her nipples, scraping them with his teeth, and licked the sensitive skin underneath the mounds of her breasts. He dipped his tongue into her navel and swirled his nose through her pubic hair, breathing in and smelling her.
She was dripping wet by the time his tongue swiped over her clit.
“You ready?” Kierra asked.
Monica opened her eyes to see her behind Lane’s body, wearing the soft leather harness they’d bought her for their one-year anniversary. She was watching Lane’s head move between Monica’s legs with a hungry stare while her right hand obscenely stroked the dildo sticking out from her body, spreading a healthy amount of lubricant over the shaft.
Kierra had spent days finding a dildo that perfectly matched her skin tone. Monica had thought the endeavor was ridiculous but understood that it was exactly the kind of thing she would do, and it was worth it.
Monica shivered at the sight of her looming over them, beautiful and eager as ever.
“Are you ready?” Monica asked, her voice breathy with desire as Lane’s tongue massaged her opening.
Kierra’s eyes lit up. “You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting for this.”
“Probably not as long as me,” Lane interjected quickly before getting back to work on her pussy.
Kierra rolled her eyes with a smile and then moved her hands to Lane’s ass.
Monica started massaging her breasts and lightly pinching her nipples as she watched Kierra prepare Lane. She couldn’t see all her movements, but she knew better than nearly anyone what Lane liked, and she could probably guess from the way his breath hitched over her pussy and his fingers dug into her hips what Kierra was doing.
Lane shivered between them, and Kierra looked up at Monica with a triumphant smile on her face just before she lowered her mouth to Lane’s body.
“Oh, fuck,” Lane yelled out as Kierra rimmed him, probably circling the pucker of his ass with her tongue.
Monica knew better than most how talented Kierra’s tongue was, and she shuddered. She moved her hands to the back of Lane’s head and directed his mouth back to her pussy. And then she shuddered through the ripples of a small orgasm as Lane’s moans joined his tongue in pushing her over the edge.
“Are you ready?” Kierra whispered.
Lane’s body jumped, and his back arched. Kierra’s left hand was moving rhythmically, and Monica realized she was jacking him off, and it was her turn for her back to arch as another orgasm took her over with more intensity.
But Monica watched with rapt intensity as Kierra moved her dildo into place.
Lane’s grip tightened on her, and he panted hard breaths into her hip as Kierra slowly slipped inside him.
“Put your fingers inside me,” Monica told Lane, and he complied quickly, still panting and now groaning as Kierra pushed inside.
“Am I hurting you?” Kierra asked, her smile slipping the tiniest bit. “Is it too big?”
“Fuck. No,” Lane ground out.
“He’ll tell you if you need to stop,” Monica added.
Lane grunted in a kind of assent as he shoved three fingers so deep in Monica her thighs were shaking.
“Now fuck him for me,” Monica demanded, feeling something settle inside her, something she hadn’t realized had been out of place before this moment.
And as if they all knew that something wrong had been made right, Lane ducked his head between her legs and started eating her out again, and Kierra gently took hold of Lane’s hips and started fucking him in slow long strokes that made him come apart between them. And Monica watched Kierra concentrate on Lane’s body, listening to every sound he made and shift of his body, giving him exactly what he needed and, by extension, giving Monica what she needed.
The sure knowledge that they would always take care of each other.
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5hfanfiction · 7 years
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Please Notice (Chapter 1)
Summary: Camila Cabello has made Lauren’s life a living hell ever since freshman year of high school. In her junior year, Lauren finally meets someone who makes her feel less alone. The problem? She lives thousands of miles away. For over a year, Juliet has been Lauren’s rock. Lauren thinks she’s finally found the girl she’s meant to be with - but her friends aren’t so sure. In fact, they’re not even entirely convinced that she’s real.
[ 01:28 ] Can I call you?
[ 01:29 ] Aren’t you at school?
[ 01:29 ] Ditched. Please? I need you.
Lauren bites her lip, staring at her phone screen and trying not to cringe at how desperate she sounds.
Phone calls are rare occasions between the two of them and Lauren very seldom asks about it. There’s some kind of unspoken barrier there that tells her she isn’t supposed to. The times they have called one another were very spur of the moment, and about ninety-five percent of the time Juliet asks. Of course, Lauren always obliges.
Today, she just really needs to talk to her.
She needs to hear the sound of her voice that she’s almost forgotten. Even if it’s static-y and warped through the phone lines, it’s still Juliet, and she’s still the only person Lauren wants to talk to when she has a day like this.
Lauren’s not really sure why she’s reacting so badly to the day’s events; her friends have been much harsher on her and Camila’s treatment has been much worse. So why was today the day she decided to let her emotions get the better of her? She was supposed to be in history class, bored out of her mind and day dreaming about a life beyond high school - a life with no Camila, and hopefully a lot more Juliet.
Instead, Lauren had skipped class and drove herself home, knowing full well she’d be getting an earful tomorrow when her friends saw she didn’t show to her seventh period English class that they all shared. 
After months of just taking it, the Juliet criticism combined with Camila’s treatment had become too much in the moment. That horrible sense of dread washed over her and she had to leave. She had to go. She had to be anywhere but there.
But now she’s home, and she doesn’t feel any better. 
She needs Juliet.
[ 01:34 ] I’m sorry, babe. I can’t. I’m with my parents. Why? What happened?
Lauren’s face falls and her stomach drops in the worst of ways.
She’d been hoping that for once, she could do things on her terms. That she could need Juliet and Juliet would be there, just like Lauren was. 
If Juliet ever messaged her asking to call, saying that she had a bad day, Lauren would drop everything and pick up her phone. There’s no question in her mind. Anything that was happening could be put on hold, because Juliet needed her and Lauren would go to the ends of the Earth to make Juliet feel safe.
She throws her phone down onto the bed, pacing around her room as anger slowly fills her body. 
Why does Juliet get to decide when they do and don’t talk? Just for once, can’t Lauren dictate anything that happens in their relationship?
It’s not selfish to want to talk to your girlfriend every once in a while. And shouldn’t Juliet want to talk to her? They’re in a relationship. A long distance one, at that. Phone calls and video chatting are the only forms of verbal communication they have - and Juliet doesn’t have a webcam, nor the means to FaceTime, so phone calls are their only option.
Lauren knows that she and Juliet had an agreement not to show one another pictures of their faces, that they should fall in love blindly, but she is in love, and shouldn’t a year and a half be enough time to have proven her sincerity? She’s ready. Juliet says she’s ready - but with one condition. It has to be live. She wants the first time they see each other to be real. Not just a simple photograph. Real. 
Lauren can appreciate that, but there’s been no progress made. Juliet can’t buy a webcam on her own, and every time Lauren offers to pitch in, she’s completely shot down. Lauren’s been extremely patient, has never interrogated Juliet or questioned her authenticity, but days like these make it really hard.
She can deal with not seeing her for a couple of months - after all, she’s gone this long, what’s a little while longer? But she needs something else. Something tangible. Something other than voiceless instant messages that could be written by anyone anywhere. It’s so impersonal, and to be honest, Lauren’s never been much of a texter. Or IMer. Whatever the term may be.
She’s one of those put the phone down and take a look at the world types. Not that Lauren doesn’t accept or appreciate technology, she just thinks it’s abused in today’s day and age. She’s okay with a few texts here and there and some brief computer time, but she’s always been the kind of person who lives in reality. Not online. That is, until her entire world became only accessible to her through computer and phone screens.
Lauren’s adopted a different lifestyle for Juliet. One that includes the obsessive checking of her phone and computer for messages. She doesn’t go out as much, and prefers not to venture anywhere she’s sure won’t have Internet connection.
What if Juliet gets hurt or upset or just wants to talk and Lauren’s not there? She could miss a phone call opportunity or even worse, just a chance to talk to her girlfriend.
Her friends have noticed this change in her, and it’s probably one of the reasons they’re so against Lauren and Juliet’s relationship. Even Lauren has to admit she’s changed a lot of the things that made her her to be with Juliet. But these are all necessary sacrifices she’s willing to make. Love is all about compromise, and Lauren’s more than willing to adapt if it means keeping Juliet in her life.
So why can’t Juliet have the same courtesy? Why can’t she bend a little? Why is everything always on her terms? They can only call when she’s able to, they can’t video chat because she doesn’t have a webcam, the possibility of them meeting isn’t even a prospect because she refuses to give Lauren her address - and California’s a pretty big place. She wouldn’t know the first place to look.
Lauren’s tired. She’s tired of giving and not getting anything in return. Tired of Camila and tired of her friends and tired of wanting someone who can’t be touched.
But mostly she’s angry. Angry that she’s treated this way. That she’s done nothing to Camila Cabello and she still walks around school shoving and taunting her like she’d run her dog over. That her friends can’t trust her to make decisions on her own. That maybe she can’t make decisions on her own. That she’s having a shitty day and her girlfriend won’t even talk to her. That everything in her life has turned out this way and she can’t do anything to change it.
She finally stops pacing and walks over to her phone, fully intent on giving Juliet a piece of her mind. As rare as phone calls were, fights between the two of them were even fewer, but this felt almost inevitable.
Lauren takes a seat on the edge of the bed, grabbing her phone and seeing she has quite a few unread messages. All from Juliet.
[ 01:47 ] Baby?
[ 01:52 ] Laur, I’m sorry.
[ 01:52 ] Believe me, if I could call you, I would.
[ 01:59 ] God, I’d do anything to hear your voice right now.
[ 02:09 ] Please don’t be mad… 
[ 02:21 ] Are you okay? Please answer me.
[ 02:34 ] I’m sorry. I’m saving up, okay? I’m gonna get a webcam and we can Skype whenever you want and you’ll be able to see in my eyes how in love with you I am.
[ 02:45 ] I know you’re mad at me, but please just respond and let me know you’re okay. I’m getting worried.
[ 02:48 ] If you really need me to, I’ll call, okay? I’m with family but I’ll go to the bathroom and we can talk. Okay?
A wave of guilt instantly washes over Lauren and just like that, all of her anger has dissipated. 
She’s starting to realize how much of an ass she was being, and all at once she’s extremely grateful that she hadn’t lashed out at Juliet like she’d been planning to.
None of this was her fault.
It wasn’t Juliet’s fault that Lauren’s friends didn’t believe she’s real. It wasn’t her fault that she had a bad day. It wasn’t her fault that she couldn’t talk. And it definitely wasn’t her fault that Camila Cabello existed.
With a sigh of irritation, directed only at herself, Lauren shakes her head and messages her girlfriend back.
[ 02:56 ] No, I’m sorry. I’m okay. You really don’t have to do that. I’m just… having a tough day. You make it better, though.
There’s an immediate response, and Lauren chews her lower lip anxiously wondering if the other girl had just been sitting there staring at her phone, waiting for a reply.
[ 02:56 ] Are you sure? I want to be there for you.
[ 02:57 ] I’m sure, and you are. Did you mean what you said about the webcam?
[ 02:57 ] Of course I did. And I meant the part about my eyes, too. And being in love with you. Because I am. Totally in love with you. 
Lauren giggles softly, amazed at how easy it is for Juliet to turn her mood around. No one’s ever had this kind of effect on her, and while a little scary, it’s a good feeling.
She imagines it’d bother her a lot more if it were someone else. But it’s Juliet, and Juliet has this incredible way of making Lauren feel safer thousands of miles away than anyone else could with their arms wrapped around her.
[ 02:58 ] I’m in love with you too, dork.
[ 02:29 ] I’m not the dork, you’re the dork, dork.
[ 02:29 ] The fact that you just used dork that many times in one sentence proves that you’re the dork.
[ 02:30 ] Fine. But I’m the luckiest dork in the world. 
The day goes on with no more noteworthy occurrences, but Lauren falls asleep that night with her phone in her hand and a smile on her face thinking that maybe she’s the luckiest dork in the world.
But, as it usually goes for Lauren, that happiness is extremely short-lived.
She wakes up to forty-six unread messages - one from Juliet, and the rest divided up between Dinah, Ally and Normani in a group chat they’d created forever ago.
She immediately sits up in her bed, confused and concerned. She checks the time. She isn’t late, so there’s no reason for them to all be texting her like this.
Swallowing the lump beginning to form in her throat, Lauren opens her phone and checks the messages.
[ 06:23 - Dinah ] Cabello’s gone too far this time. Whatever you have with that ‘Juliet’ chick, end it. She’s one of them, Lo.
a/n: dun dun dun… sorry about the little cliffhanger there, you’ll definitely learn more about that next chapter. until then, i’d love to see all of your speculations :p also!! i was super overwhelmed by all the positive comments and you guys wanted some more, so i’m givin it to ya. thank you to everyone who’s taken an interest. i’ve got lots of plans for this story and will be continuing it as a series. sorry if this was a little short, the next chapter will be much longer. this was just kinda givin you some insight on lauren’s feelings and the juliet/lauren dynamic, so let me know how you liked it! hope you all have a lovely day x
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