#benny gets the narrative dean treatment

[spiders-hth-is-an-outlier]

Possibly a big ask to get just out of the blue but: what are your Supernatural season opinions? Which one is your favorite? Least favorite? Did you watch long enough to have showrunner opinions? If yes, which showrunner is your favorite and which is your least favorite? If no, which season that you haven't seen most tempts you to get back in the Supernatural trenches? Answer exactly as many of these questions as you want to. Carry on.

You know, I am not sure how long this Ask has been sitting here, because my Tumblr notifications are borked -- I hope not long? If long, I apologize, I wasn't ignoring it on purpose!

Okay, so I have more than the average number of Supernatural opinions, probably, but I'll try to keep this to a dull roar! Inside Me There Are Two Wolves: one of them believes that only the original five seasons of Supernatural are worth defending in any way, the other really, really loves seasons 11 and 12. The Kripke Era had a lot of problems, particularly in its treatment of women as bodies without agency and its treatment of Black men as literal predators, but also for all its flaws, it had a kind of coherence and narrative drive that comes from being the product of a dude who obviously cared about it and had something to say. Taken on its own, seasons 1-5 are a brutal and compelling story about the traumas of being men in a universe that's been absolutely destroyed by its Fathers: on almost every level, it's about these abandoned and brutalized boys discovering that their entire reality is the product of an abandoning and brutalizing God, populated by authority figures who are universally demanding and arrogant, but also completely fucking useless. It's quite literally about Sam and Dean trying to hang onto their souls and their own agency when everyone around them wants them forced into shapes formed by conflicts that fell into place at the beginning of time. It's hard to remember, but back then even the Lucifer plotline was about that! It was about the damage fathers inflict on sons! Things were about things, in the Kripke era!

Then we get to the Gamble era, and. Woof. I actually -- don't hate 6 and 7? Like everything Sera Gamble touches, those two seasons are kinetic and memorable and funny and weird and hit some really, really great emotional beats. There are Some Problems, but Gamble was saddled with a pretty dire job, trying to find a way forward after everything about the series really had effectively wrapped up in Swan Song, and I think she did an okay job. People got mad at her for killing Castiel, but you know, damn, I give her this: that was a storyline. Like, this character who was fresh out of the cult he was raised in becoming disillusioned by how messy normal life is and deciding that maybe people need better authoritarianism instead -- the way he's driven to take too many risks by the fact that he's abandoned and desperate -- Crowley as a legitimately scary villain while still being charming af -- and the tragic resolution of Castiel being torn apart by both his hubris and his heroism. It's actually really good. I understand why people didn't want what Gamble was serving up -- and I'm able to like it because it was undone later, you know? -- but she really did commit to a full season of character arc and saw it all the way through to an earned ending, and I gotta respect that.

I genuinely hate seasons 8 and 9. I think everyone is a dick, particularly but not exclusively Dean, to the point where I just find it a bummer to watch. I mean, you get Benny, and I love Benny. You get, I dunno, bits and bobs of decent episodes, but overall they are very fucked up seasons in my opinion. So Carver era is on thin fucking ice with me, but I do think you start to get a rebound in season 10 with the Mark of Cain stuff, although I wish they'd managed to keep Cain around longer. All the really good Claire stuff starts happening, which is nice because Claire, but also because for once the show is really letting itself go back and deal with the mess these protagonists leave behind them constantly. Castiel and Claire have maybe the most interesting non-Winchester relationship on the show. Oh, and Rowena shows up around here too, right? Love her. So the back half of Carver, 10 and 11, are starting to really gain traction for me. The world is building outward, secondary characters are starting to be genuine characters in their own right, the politics of Heaven and Hell get a little richer and more interesting. The show is really starting to feel like it takes place in a universe, which is great because we love the Frigging Winchesters, but they shouldn't be the only thing going, right? We have 15 seasons to get through! Season 11 is basically bracketed by what are probably my two favorite Supernatural episodes: Baby and Don't Call Me Shurley. (I think I'm the world's only living Metatron fan; I fucking love that little dude.)

Dabb takes over in 12, and I really, really, genuinely love season 12. I fucking love Mary. There are so many episodes I adore -- Celebrating the Life of Asa Fox is a special favorite of mine, and I remain pissed off that the Banes twins never made it to recurring status, bluntly that feels wildly racist to me -- probably the best three-episode streak in the show is Lily Sunder Has Some Regrets to Regarding Dean to Stuck In the Middle (With You), three just almost perfect episodes. So I was poised to really love the Dabb era. I wanted to! My body was ready!

And I do really love the first chunk of season 13, the Widow Winchester arc. Obviously I'm a romantic, love that for me, but it's just also really good? The acting, the writing, the psychological complexity of Dean wanting Jack to be Bad so he has an outlet for his anger and Sam wanting Jack to be Good so he can retroactively parent himself and raise a Lucifer-tainted child who isn't crippled by self-loathing. Billie's great, and it looks like she's going to start being one of the major powers of the universe. Unfortunately -- with the occasional exception of this or that solid episode -- that's kind of the end of Pretty Good Supernatural. Season 13 kind of unravels; season 14 always feels like it's looking for itself (which is a bummer, because I wanted very much to care about Michael); season 15 is, idk. Idk about any of it, it's all pretty pointless. I feel bad complaining on some level, because the show's been on for like fourteen years at this point! It's kinda justified in feeling a little worn out. But the reality is that the later seasons systematically undo all the expansion that had excited me earlier -- the Wayward Sisters crew pretty much vanishes when the spinoff isn't picked up, Naomi and the angels stop doing anything, Crowley's gone, Mary's gone for much of it. We're just kind of futzing around with monsters who don't seem to matter (very much including Lucifer, who hasn't mattered in ages) and a lot of Jack, who. I try not to shit all over, because I know he's a popular character, but I find him just ungodly boring. Everything in the last two and a half season just feels like it's headed nowhere in particular, and also it bored me. The Empty deal is just sadness porn; it doesn't have any resonance or meaning in terms of Castiel's character, it's just him agreeing to die for his kid, which is okay, it means he's a loving dad, which he is, but there's no conflict there, ergo no real drama. It's just mean; it happens because it'll make us sad, and no other reason. Rowena is the only strong secondary character left, and her ending also doesn't feel particularly relevant to her, it's just a generic Sacrifice to Save the World. Everything just feels like they're autogenerating plotlines, rather than letting the actual needs and drives of the characters shape the narrative. So while I have this weird split personality with Carver where I either hate what he's doing or I love it, most of the Dabb era is just. There. It doesn't make me feel anything except kind of tired and embarrassed. Which is a bummer, because I have an inexplicable fondness for Dabb, probably just because of how much I love s12. I wanted to love his seasons! I did love his first season! I feel like maybe something happened when the CW rejected Wayward Sisters? I know that was kind of his darling, and it feels like maybe losing that kind of sucked the joy out of him, and he's kind of checked-out by the end. That's genuinely just my guess, however.

That's Professor Milo's Intro to Supernatural Studies, don't forget to fill out your course survey on the way out!

[amwritingmeta]

15x04: Lucky Them

Wow. Davy Perez has this knack of bringing it, and this time was no exception. Icing on the cake was the delight at having Jensen directing again! 

We got a glimpse of Benny (happy not to have more) (however much I love his character, he’s fulfilled his purpose in the narrative in beautiful ways that I don’t really need extrapolated on) (anyway) and we got Becky back, with some real character progression to juxtapose Chuck’s alpha and omega of douchebaginess. 

The more of a douche connected to dark and horrible endings Chuck is, the more hopeful I become of the opposite heading our way. *fingers crossed* :)

The best line that Becky delivered was about how she’s carved out a good life for herself and she actually likes herself now. That’s character growth right there. She found what would truly make her happy and she built on it. Bless you, Becky, you’re one of the lucky ones! Sorry you got smoked. :/

But let’s move into the meat of the story (pardon the pun) and talk about Sam and Dean and how they are simply not dealing at the moment. Either of them. 

*e p i c*

Sam 

Oh Sam. Sam is having nightmares and they’re of the callback kind, because here we get a glimpse of how he’s still not processed his choice to drink that demon blood, how he still carries the self-blame and the guilt and the fear of losing his tightly held control of himself around with him, even to this day. Because, as he will state in that gorgeous (and seriously tear-jerking) end-of-the-ep exchange with Dean: he can’t let it go.

But letting go doesn’t mean forgetting. Letting go means understanding that you can’t change the past, that you can’t live in a blame bubble and that carrying that guilt for choices that you wouldn’t repeat now, if put in the same situation, is toxic for the mind because it hollows out your sense of self. 

Moving on means gaining perspective enough to forgive yourself your past mistakes, trust yourself not to repeat them and gain actual control of yourself through understanding where your boundaries need to be drawn and drawing them for yourself. 

It sounds easy (it’s not), but if Sam can just see how strong he truly is in himself, how strong he always has been - he held Lucifer and went into the cage with him and was tortured by the Devil himself and he’s still standing - then he can begin to trust himself not to ever let the past repeat itself.

I loved that the images of Sam with black eyes was a nightmare. Does this mean it’s not foreshadowing? I don’t know! Maybe Sam needs to face his demons through a visual manifestation, but I think an internal gradual moving away from this fear of losing control could be just as effective. We shall see!

Sam daring to take the leader position is one of the ways him dealing with this fear can be, and has already been, explored, because he’s been happy for Dean to take the lead for so long because of his fear of losing control of himself, of hurting people, of hurting the ones he loves and, of course, hurting Dean, that he’s been okay with second chair, but Sam is the born leader and that second chair has never really fit him all that well. 

He just has to accept that happiness, while in the life, is always going to be shadowed by the fact that people will die, that they can’t save everyone, that monsters will continue to roam the Earth, but that they’re doing what they can to make the world just a little bit better each day, and that’s all that we can ever hope to do. Like Cas once said to Dean: “You can’t save everyone, my friend. Though you try.”

Dean

Dean eats his emotions. This is what is known as an unhealthy coping mechanism, meaning that instead of actually acknowledging and dealing with whatever emotion he’s feeling that’s causing him distress, he pushes that emotion down and because of him suppressing it, the emotion finds an unhealthy behavioural outlet.

This is also a form of self-punishment. 

Guilt, shame and regret are all powerful emotions that cause a person to have an unconscious need to self-punish. And what emotions are Dean feeling at this very moment, ever since he pushed so hard at the love of his life that the love of his life finally decided to put his foot down and leave?

Yeah. I’d venture there’s a fair amount of all of those emotions battling it out inside Dean. What I love most about it, though, is that yes, he’s eating the entire episode, but he only takes a sip out of that flask. Meaning? That this is unhealthy coping, but at least it is just that: coping. 

He’s not being self-destructive in a putting himself in harms way, let the chips fall where they may sort of self-destructive. He’s not taking care of himself, obviously, because he doesn’t feel he deserves it, because of the aforementioned guilt, shame and regret, but he’s also not taking unnecessary risks. His sense of hopelessness, of his chance for happiness being gone, is subtle and is only highlighted in that end-of-the-ep exchange with Sam.

Oh, it’s enough to send shivers down your spine. And jerk them tears, too. *iCry*

Through that exchange we also get a Dean who is determined to keep going, to find a reason to keep going, which, to me, means there’s still slight hope that Cas will find his way back to him again. That this isn’t the end at all. Dean just doesn’t know exactly what he can do to ensure it isn’t. 

I would think it would be absolutely beautiful if what Dean needs to do is drop the fast food and eat some fruit, you know? If he actually starts to do little things of self-care that show he’s actually beginning to open up to forgiving himself his past mistakes and loving himself as he is. The moment Dean can believe he deserves Cas’ love is when he’ll be able to actually see Cas and see that he might mean as much to Cas as Cas does to him. And once that door begins to open… 

Yah. Fireworks. 

Anyway, that’s just what I’d love to see happen. 

Cas’ self-worth has clearly sky-rocketed, demonstrated to us when he decided to leave that Bunker and Dean’s emotional abuse behind, effectively telling Dean that he deserves better treatment than that. Like hell yes. 

This action was so necessary, not only for Cas’ sense of self-worth, but to bring Dean into a position where he honestly has no choice but open himself up to some much needed self-reflection.

Dean needs to reflect on his own behaviour, and he should feel guilt and shame and regret, but without getting defensive about it, without pushing it down and pretending he’s fine with it. He has to actually face the consequences of his actions and step up and take responsibility for how his usual behaviour of taking his emotions (his anger) out on those closest to him is harmful, and he needs to become self-aware enough to not engage in it anymore.

Time to grow up, Dean Winchester, you beautiful man!

Let’s take a look at the end-of-the-ep exchange, shall we? 

End-of-the-Ep Exchange

So we get the brothers, in the Impala, having one of those heart-to-hearts that Baby seems made for half the time. In this place of safety there’s room for honesty, always. And they usually find their way to it around her. 

*still worried something will happen to Baby by the end of the season as a visual manifestation of them letting go of needing her to have this type of communication as well as moving on from the past and into the future but omg I hope nothing does and still I kinda hope something does gah*

Anyway.

I’m skipping into the meaty part of this exchange (okay stop with that pun already it’s already old) Fine. 

Dean talks about how he felt like cashing out in the crypt after Chuck went all Apocalypse World 55.1 on their asses, but Sam brought him out of that line of thinking by reminding him that what they do matter. And Dean is all about picking Sam up, has been trying to for the whole episode, wanting to do the same for Sam that Sam did for him, of course, and remind him that what they do matter, because they save lives.

And a little more than that. 

They keep the blinds down for the rest of the world, right? They allow for people to live their white-picket-fence lives and never worry about what goes bump in the night, which is what Sam has been so fed up with for the entire episode: the hopelessness of their situation; because there will always be more monsters, no matter what they do, and people will die, no matter how many they save.

To the exchange, then –>

Dean: ‘Cause it is, you know, It’s a crap job. We do the ugly thing so that people can live happy. Sam: Yeah. Lucky them. Dean: Yeah, lucky them.

So Sam’s reaction here can be read whichever way you like it, really, but looking at the subtext of the exchange - which, for Dean, is un-subtly all to do with Cas - Sam’s reaction tied to Dean agreeing that the people who get to live happy are lucky can very well be seen as Sam reacting to Dean letting his guard down and  admitting that, yes, happy sounds good, happy sounds nice, and he wouldn’t mind a bit of happy for himself.

What’s more mind-blowing about this admittance, to me, has to do with the Cas-subtext of the exchange, though, because that’s for us, the viewers, who understand that when Dean talks about moving on, that’s a signal for us - who witnessed that very private moment between Dean and Cas in the previous episode - to get where Dean’s head is at. 

So when Dean very subtly agrees with Sam about how living a long and happy life (and I’m paraphrasing Mildred because relevant) would be good, we can detect that there’s a deeper reason for why it’s not only monsters and death keeping Dean from living it. 

And, what’s more, the fact that he puts into words that he wants to live a long and happy life is a huge, huge marker, at least to this meta writer, of how far he’s come in his progression, because he wants it and he’s not about to lie to himself that he doesn’t, but, by that same token, he still does not believe he deserves it and he can’t see himself ever having happiness, which is part of why he’s been self-punishing himself the entire episode, because it’s this incapability of accepting happiness when it’s right there that made him push Cas away and it’s a vicious, vicious cycle of lack of self-love and self-worth.

(jaysusssss very beautifully done)

And look at Dean’s FAAAACE ^^^

And Sam is still reacting to all this because what? – did Dean just admit that he doesn’t want the Blaze of Glory ending for himself? (and yeah with Cas having left I’m pretty sure Sam is hyper aware of the possibility that Dean is actually, in his own way, admitting that a future without Cas looks pretty bleak to him) 

Back to the exchange where Dean says all these amazing, amazing things –>

Dean: But it doesn’t change a thing. You know what I mean? We still do the job, but we don’t do it for us. We do it for Jack, for mom, for Rowena. We owe it to anyone who’s ever given a damn about us to put one foot in front of the other. No matter what. 

And let me pause for a moment there and just have us all look at what exactly he is saying here, because, oh boy, is it telling of how he just has not reached a healthy place in any shape or form. Now, in a way, this is healthier than digging himself a hole and lying in it, yeah? Absolutely. 

It’s that “fake it” mentality of S7 all over again and I’d rather he be here, with a glimmer of hope (I always thought you’d come back type of hope with that trench coat in the trunk of every car they drove that season), and finding a reason to keep going, than be in that dark place he was in during his grief!arc at the start of S13, when he couldn’t believe in a damn thing and he didn’t care, at all, what happened to him, BUT there is still that echo here, which is why it’s such an unhealthy frame of mind for him to cling to.

They don’t have a purpose in life for themselves, they find it through others.

No. 

It brings us right back to what he said to Sam at the end of 13x20: I don’t really care what happens to me, I never have. 

And what he told Death in 14x05: I don’t matter. 

This attitude is the reason why he can’t move out of this perpetual state of not believing he deserves more. That he deserves everything. 

And this is what’s keeping him from daring to want more for himself, daring to feel how much more he does want for himself, because every time he’s dared to want more, it’s come crashing down around him. His fear of happiness runs extremely deep. 

It’s time to face it and let go of it and embrace the fact of how his life and how he chooses to live it benefiting others is a great gift, but him giving that gift also means he has every right to balance the giving out with a bit of receiving.

*please and thank you*

Of course, all of this is underlined in what he says next –>

Dean: And hey, man, like you said, now that Chuck’s gone, we’re finally on our own. We are finally free to move on, you know?

And the way this is phrased, so brilliantly, of course makes it impossible not to see it as a subtle reveal of what Dean is thinking about Cas leaving: without Chuck pulling Cas’ strings, Cas was finally free to make the choice to leave.

But this is also tied to what Dean needs to stop getting hung up on, because he’s purposefully blocking out what Cas said, which is that for all his string-pulling, Chuck still had to pivot with their choices. He didn’t control those. He manipulated them, sure, but he didn’t force them into making them. And each choice they’ve made has added to their understanding of themselves and of the world and their place in it. They are real. 

Cas didn’t choose to leave because now he’s free of Chuck’s influence - he chose to leave because Dean was breaking his heart, because Dean refused to hear him, because Dean was shutting him out and pushing him away, because Dean’s inability to stop using the blame game as an excuse not to connect or open up wasn’t gonna fly anymore. 

And this is what Dean needs to face, so Dean talking about finally being “on our own” and free is the last vestige of his performance remaining, the final lie he has to tell himself until he can face his fears and take responsibility for his actions, because the alternative is to live without Cas, aka without happiness.

I mean, the absolute defeat on Dean’s face in the screen grab above reminds me of his face watching Cas’ body burn at the end of 13x01. And then that expression switches into this –>

–> grim determination.

The top one is all: I’ve lost him, I’ve lost him. 

The bottom one is all: It’s for the best anyway, what did you think was gonna happen, he’s better off without you, let him go live his life. 

(headcanon but yeah like fuuuuck feelings)

And, of course, Sam is there to voice exactly how Dean is really feeling. 

Sam: I don’t know if I can move on. You know, I can’t forget any of them. Dean, I still think about Jessica. I can’t just let that go. Dean: No, no, man, that’s not what I’m talking about.

(because Dean is talking about the healthy way to let go, which is to not let the past rule your present, to be aware and appreciate and remember, but not cling onto old ideals and ideas, or past mistakes that you can’t change, no matter how much you wish you could)

Sam: I know, I know, I know, I’m sorry, I know, but what I’m talking about is that I don’t feel free. What we’ve done, what we’ve lost, right now that is what I’m feeling and sometimes it’s… Sometimes it’s like I can’t even breathe.

And all I could think when Sam said that was Dean talking about feeling as though he was drowning while being possessed by Michael. The suffocating feeling of the weight of all those old ideals and ideas and having no other choice but to succumb, because he wasn’t strong enough to fight them at the time. 

Sam is dealing with his own set of old ideals and ideas now, because while we see Dean actively suppress his thoughts and feelings and finding unhealthy, though at least stabile, outlets through coping mechanisms like overeating and drinking and working this episode, Sam is not about to suppress anything.

He feels his irritation, his impatience, his hopelessness and it comes out in how he interacts with others, with his surroundings, with Dean, with the case. Sam doesn’t have outlets. He bottles everything up. He thinks he’s fine and he’s handling it, but he’s not. And he hasn’t been fine for a very long time. That hopelessness always niggling. That question of what is the point if there’s no end to the suffering? 

I honestly believe he needs to accept that not everyone can be saved. I’m hopeful that he will, but I’ll admit I’m a little worried about what’s in store for our Sam. I hope he’ll have to get dragged through the darkest place before he can come out victorious on the other side, the same way Cas and Dean have been over the past four seasons.

Sam: …Maybe tomorrow. You know, maybe I’ll feel better in the morning. Dean: And what if you don’t? Sam: I don’t know.

It’s interesting looking at how this conversation is structured: Dean reminding Sam that Sam saved him from himself and succeeded, and Dean, this episode, trying to save Sam from himself without success.

The thing is, I can see Sam needing to save himself, needing to get to a place where he’s ready to fully let go of Dean, because he realises that Dean doesn’t need him the way he used to, and them holding onto each other and their old ideals and ideas of how to relate themselves to each other is no good, for either of them, and, once this shift in Sam happens, for him to, without hesitation, step into a leader position and accept that this is his place and where he belongs and there is great purpose to be found there, and through that purpose, there’s great happiness to be had too. Aw Sam! *hopes and wishes*

I really loved this episode so much. I’m still not over this scene, haven’t quite digested how Jensen delivered that slight speech and all the very subtle truths baked into this exchange that were so extremely revealing of what’s really going on inside of him, as well as Sam stating what’s going on inside of him, following that harrowing dream sequence that opened the ep.

Gorgeous stuff. Gorgeous, gorgeous stuff. 

#spn meta #spn 15x04 #speculation #dean winchester #sam winchester #cas #destiel #my reading #davy perez #good god #codependency #toxic masculinity #breaking of patterns #coping mechanisms #character progression #dean isn't doing too hot #neither is sam #oh dear oh dear #let it go #move on #suffer grow heal #home love family #fear of happiness #face your fears my loves!

[mittensmorgul]

So I feel like this season has something to do with touches, a very hand thing. And I directly paid more attention to sam and rowena. I feel like 15x03 was a direct parallel to 10x19. Specially cause in 10x19 Ro said they were mortal enemies and that they'd tried to kill each other and on 15x03 she said they'd grown quite fond of each other. Both ep contrasted a lot, even scenes from the same angle and, HANDS TOUCHING. Also hands 'barely' touching again when they reunited on 15x08. Thoughts?

Okay, okay… this is something I think I wrote about in my very, very long post about Rowena. The relevant bit:

Rowena got a surprise at the end of 10.18, though. A surprise and a gift in the form of Sam Winchester asking for her help and presenting her one of the greatest magical treasures she’d ever laid her hands on– The Book of the Damned. The terms of their deal would be hashed out in 10.19, where Sam agreed to kill Crowley in exchange for her help in translating the book and removing the Mark of Cain from Dean. Sam had no problem agreeing to her terms– killing Crowley who had been sometimes an ally and sometimes an enemy, but he would struggle to actually complete the mission. The main plot of 10.19, though, is fascinating to me in terms of overall themes. And this was, again, Bobo writing Rowena.

The Werther Project. Sam calls Rowena for help when he finds the location of the codex she needs to decipher the Book of the Damned, held in a long-abandoned Men of Letters chapter house that had seen tragedy befall it after it was eventually bought by a family who didn’t know of the danger buried behind a wall in their basement. This horrific power– placed there by a man who wanted to use the power the MoL had amassed (particularly in this case a codex stolen from a witch of the Grand Coven) for their own purposes– was broken open by a young woman lashing out in anger against her own unfair treatment by her family (her brother enjoyed privileges she did not, while she was expected to do chores and relinquish her own entertainment for her brother’s comfort).

Sam goes to free this codex– once the product and property of women, from the box that required the death of a Man of Letters (apparently) in order to unlock it. But the box contained a different lock, another layer of protection, as well, in the form of a spell that would compel the people present when it was activated into committing suicide by their own hallucinations. Dean hallucinated himself trapped in Purgatory again where a manifestation of Benny encouraged him to stay, to end it all, and not put the burden of killing him onto Sam and Cas. The woman who’d originally unleashed the curse on her own family had stayed in the house for more than 40 years ensuring that nobody ever fell victim to it again. Her hallucination had been to watch her family kill themselves all over again. At first, Sam hallucinated this woman pushing him to end it, but then Rowena mysteriously arrived and promised to help guide him to the codex.

I had to explain all of this, because Rowena… was Sam’s hallucination. Only instead of just guiding him to kill himself to no purpose– the way Susie and then Dean were being persuaded to– she (as a manifestation of Sam’s own subconscious and knowledge of what they were actually there to retrieve) guided him through opening the box. But Dean broke free of his own hallucination and found Sam bleeding out for the spell, and took over offering his own blood in addition. That was the key, that only two men working together could unlock the box and live, and it was Rowena (or a hallucination of her) that guided him to the solution.

She might not know about it, but this was how Sam saw her even then– as nothing more than the potential solution to his problem. At that time, he was using her just like every other man, which he proved to her when he shackled her in iron and forced her to get to work deciphering the spell to save Dean. BOY HOW THINGS CHANGED by the time Sam would willingly give her the spell to unlock her own bound power, right? 2 ½ seasons of growth, in fact, for both of them.

and a link to the whole thing, on ao3 because it’s way too long for tumblr:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21641770

Season 10 was a wild ride, culminating in a massive wtf switcheroo of plot, and this episode fell right in the middle of what feels like a narrative wrestling match, where half the writers jumped on board with the shift in thematic meaning and burning down the narrative structure to accommodate and entirely different resolution for the Mark of Cain that completely took Dean and his own internal darkness out of the equation. But in doing that, in Freeing The Divine Feminine, they also gave Rowena a chance, just like Sam would eventually, and just like Rowena herself would eventually ASK for herself in 13.19.

And it started right here:

Hands and handprints have long been a recurring symbol and theme on Supernatural. But at this point in the story, back in 10.19? They’re about to thematically explode all over the place. S11… was super handsy.

https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/this%20season’s%20getting%20handsy/chrono

And that handprint imagery really started ramping up toward the end of s10– not only with this, but also with Dean in 10.22:

I wrote this back in December:

https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/189794971800/whats-your-take-on-all-the-shots-focusing-on-hands

But like back in s11, I’ve also been remembering how these scenes also focus around “transfers of power.” Or perhaps… the balance of power. In s11, these hands all culminated in Chuck and Amara reuniting, by clasping hands. Talk about a power balance.

But before this, what shook Amara? Was that her touch killed. She ran her hand through the flowers, and they withered and died. She was afraid to accept the kindness of an old woman and feed the pigeons for fear of killing them, too.

And isn’t this EXACTLY Rowena’s story? through everything she’s confessed even going back to s11 (heck, all of this is in my long post linked at the top of this), and wasn’t she directly paralleled AGAINST Amara in 11.18, even though she truly believed herself to be similarly aligned WITH Amara? I think that was the moment Rowena began to truly reassess what she ACTUALLY wanted, by seeing the true depths of The Darkness for herself.

Rowena didn’t exactly know HOW to get this for herself, this redemption, this balance of power, and instead ran the complete opposite direction in s12, abandoning her drive for power and seeking purely human security and protection, but she didn’t exactly have marketable skills aside from manipulating men into providing for her, because of her deeper underlying issues with love, the fear of love, and abandonment and abuse.

It’s literally taken opening up about her darkest fears to Sam to help give her the power, the belief and trust in herself, to find another way, to believe she might be able to change her fate. But as of 15.03, and confirmed in 15.08, she was not enough, she couldn’t redeem herself, even by sacrificing herself to save the world. Horrific, right?

In Chuck’s story, the feminine is sacrificed for the sake of creation.

(to quote Dagon from 12.17 when she informed Kelly of her fate for carrying Jack to term: birthing a nephilim is fatal. always. it’s like Chuck’s story, his creation, can’t abide feminine creation, in any way…and Rowena was punished for her magic just as Mary was murdered TWICE to serve Chuck’s narrative, and Jess was killed to push Sam back into the story, and Eileen has been killed once for daring to interfere with the story and Chuck had planned to kill her again if she hadn’t walked away, and all because he’d had to lock up Amara to start the process of creation in the first place. All of creation has literally been “his story, not hers.” And now Amara has found balance within herself, and is able to walk out of Chuck’s story herself. The only one who hasn’t found balance, redemption, or peace… is Rowena. Well, and Billie, who stepped up to fill the shoes of Death, and who Chuck doesn’t like because she meddles…)

(and omg I went looking for that pic of chuck and amara’s hands clasped at the end of 11.23, I ran across this from the beginning of 11.23, and I’m crylaughing over Chuck in Sam’s arms like that with the “wrong shoulder” grip)

I confess at this point I’ve totally lost the thread of what you were talking about in your first message, aside from the fact it had to do with Sam and Rowena’s relationship as expressed through hands, and honestly… this is the level of the story that the parallel fits.

*restrains self from typing something >.>*

*instead types this* Nice angle on that shot there…

eta, when I came back to tag this after posting, the fact their fingers don’t meet, their hands don’t connect in 15.08 was exactly paralleled to Dean and Cas’s fingers not meeting when Cas healed Dean’s hand, and then when they put their hands next to one another but not touching on the spell bowl immediately before going to Hell and finding Rowena there... there’s disconnects all around!

Lol as I was typing most of this, I had Practical Magic on in the background, wherein two sisters break a centuries-old curse on their family that the men they loved would be doomed to an early death… and they did it, they broke the curse, freed themselves to be able to freely fall in love, by clasping hands.

So please just try and tell me this isn’t imagery directly connected to these themes of love and loss and connection and balance and power.

#Anonymous #this season's getting handsy #spn 15.03 #spn 15.08 #samwitch #spn 10.19 #spn 13.19 #grand unification via love theory #we're bringing back s11 tags so there you go... that was the overarching plotline of s11 and it's looking like it's the endgame plot too

[foodselfiesandstuffblog]

Diplomacist: A More Perfect Union: Black Lives and Foreign Policy

Ralph J. Bunche was what many would call an “extraordinary negro” back in his day. Bunche was the class valedictorian of his high school in 1922 and earned the same honor when he graduated from the University of California, Los Angeles (UCLA) in 1927. He proceeded to earn his Master’s and Ph.D. in Political Science from Harvard’s Department of Government, making him the first Black American in the country to hold a doctorate in that discipline. Having traveled to Africa for his doctoral research, befriending figures such as Jomo Kenyatta (Kenya’s first president) and George Padmore (prominent Pan-Africanist), Bunche was a distinguished scholar on decolonization and used his talents to help build the Office of Strategic Services, the CIA’s predecessor. Bunche then joined the UN, quickly building a reputation as an exemplary diplomat. He is best known for his negotiation of the ceasefire for the first Arab-Israeli War in 1949, which earned him the Nobel Peace Prize — the first person of African descent so honored.

Upon his return, President Truman offered Bunche the position of Assistant Secretary of State for Near Eastern, South Asian and African affairs, a highly coveted post at the time. Had he accepted, Bunche would have been the highest ranking African American in the U.S. government and would have been poised to be selected as the first Black Secretary of State.

Why did Bunche decline the offer? He did not want to subject himself or his family to being humiliated and degraded by segregation in Washington, D.C. and Virginia under Jim Crow laws. Bunche publicly denied President Truman and Secretary of State Dean Rusk as they lobbied him to accept the position, choosing instead to put his talents to use at the UN.

Bunche’s story is not one that is often told but reveals a common theme of the importance of Black participation — both directly and indirectly — in foreign affairs. The success of US foreign policy has depended largely on Black Americans since the Cold War era and its legitimacy still hinges on correcting ongoing racial disparities. To put it plainly, addressing the plight of Black Americans is a strategic objective, but above all else it is the right thing to do.

When Propaganda Isn’t Propaganda

As the US sought to manage the Cold War on the international stage, it found itself facing a crisis in its own backyard: the Civil Rights Movement. Images of Black Americans suffering from state-sanctioned violence plastered the pages of newspapers across the globe. This provided the Soviet Union ammunition that framed the US as a hypocritical nation that promoted human rights and social equality in speech but never in practice. This would, in fact, become a central argument the Soviets deployed to put the US in a precarious position — the moment propaganda became reality.

The first significant challenge came during the crisis in Little Rock, Arkansas when, after the Supreme Court declared racially-segregated public schools unconstitutional, nine Black students were forcibly denied access to Little Rock’s Central High School by the National Guard deployed by Governor Orval Faubus. The situation had become so ugly that then Secretary of State John Foster Dulles complained to Attorney-General Brownell that the crisis in Arkansas was “ruining our foreign policy.” He continued: “The effect of this in Asia and Africa will be worse for us than Hungary was for the Russians.” Eisenhower responded by federalizing the National Guard and using it to enforce the federal court order. In his address to the nation in 1957, Eisenhower cited international backlash against the US as a reason for clamping down on the obscene behavior in Little Rock, stating:

“At a time when we face grave situations abroad because of the hatred that Communism bears toward a system of government based on human rights, it would be difficult to exaggerate the harm that is being done to the prestige and influence, and indeed to the safety, of our nation and the world. Our enemies are gloating over this incident and using it everywhere to misrepresent our whole nation. We are portrayed as a violator of those standards of conduct which the peoples of the world united to proclaim in the Charter of the United Nations.”

The Soviets were strategic in broadcasting the hypocrisy of US support for human rights, focusing much of their messaging on Africa and Asia, both of which were decolonizing. Declassified documents from the Kennedy administration paint a vivid picture of the degree to which the Soviets publicized racial events in America and the level of seriousness the US placed on these accusations. One such document, titled “Soviet Media Coverage of Current US Racial Crisis,” dated June 14, 1963, outlined four major themes of Soviet propaganda:

Racism is Inevitable in the American Capitalist System

Inaction of the US Government is Tantamount to Support of the Racists

Hypocrisy of US Posture as Leader of the “Free” World

Implications of US policy towards Asia, Africa, and Latin America

The message was clear: morally sound policy abroad was impossible without a similar posture at home. If the US wanted a credible foreign policy, it would first need to get its own house in order.

So it tried. Congressman Adam Clayton Powell, Jr. came up with the idea of exporting some of America’s greatest talent in order to combat the culturally savage narrative the Soviets were pushing: Jazz Ambassadors. The State Department started a worldwide goodwill tour of Black American jazz artists featuring some of the biggest names including Dizzy Gillespie, Louis Armstrong, Duke Ellington, and Benny Goodman. They took their music throughout Africa, the Middle East and Asia in an attempt to restore America’s image against the backdrop of segregation. The tours drew large crowds wherever the artists went and succeeded in combating the Soviet narrative.

However, the jazz legends were very aware of their position as the most influential foreign policy practitioners of the US. They were careful not to be used by the State Department as mere puppets and would behave on their own terms. As Gillespie said when the State Department attempted to coach him on answering questions concerning racial inequality in the US, “I’ve got 300 years of briefing. I know what they’ve done to us, and I’m not going to make any excuses.”

The Jazz Ambassadors, and even the thousands of civil rights activists, demonstrated a thorough understanding of the leverage they possessed over the US government in creating the global image of their country. The US depended on them, Black Americans, to shape the nation’s greatest foreign policy objective — and suffered without them.

Internationalizing Blacks Lives Matter

The house is not in order. With the clever use of technology, the world has recently learned of an alarming number of killings of unarmed Black Americans by a police force that is not held accountable. In the spirit of the Civil Rights Movement, protestors have taken to the streets once again to demand the demilitarization of the police and accountability for officials who cover up police murders of Black Americans. These activists’ message is simple: “stop killing us.”

The fatal shooting of Michael Brown in Ferguson, Missouri captured the world’s attention as images and videos emerged of militarized police units cracking down on peaceful protest. As was the case with the Soviets in the 50s and 60s, prominent critics of the US seized this opportunity to blast the country for its persistent racial disparities. The Kremlin’s foreign ministry doubled down on its criticism of the US, saying that “while urging other countries to guarantee the freedom of speech and not to suppress anti-government protests, the United States authorities at home are not too soft with those actively expressing discontent over persistent inequalities, actual discrimination and the situation of ‘second class’ citizens.”

Iran’s Supreme Leader Ayatollah Khamenei took to Twitter to criticize the Americans, stating “Today the world is a world of tyranny and lies. The flag of #HumanRights is borne by enemies of human rights w/US leading them! #Ferguson” Egypt, often a target of American criticism for its treatment of protestors, took the opportunity to chide the US, urging authorities to “exercise restraint” and deal with protesters in accordance with international standards. The Islamic State was eager to join the chorus by tweeting out photos of Ferguson unrest with images of protesters engulfed in tear gas. Most recently, the water crisis in the city of Flint, Michigan has galvanized Black activists, prompting them to go to the UN to plead their case and seek an investigation.

Get the House in Order

From Ralph Bunche to the Civil Rights Movement to the Flint Water Crisis, Black Americans are keenly aware of the pivotal role they play in America’s ability to conduct successful foreign policy. The United States must first address ongoing racial disparities before it attempts to hold itself as the pinnacle of moral leadership. Policymakers are often forced to choose between detachment and ethical commitments. This is not one of those cases. The plight of Black Americans bears direct consequence to the implementation of foreign policy. As the US prepares to face threats such as an emboldened Russia, the Islamic State (ISIS), and a belligerent North Korea, building the capacity for moral leadership must be considered equally as important as military and economic superiority. This will require unequivocal recognition that Black Lives Matter.

This article was written by Larry Ornez Harris, Jr., second-year graduate student at American University’s School of International Affairs on the blog Diplomacist. 

[mittensmorgul]

if dean's hell time isn't indicative of overall hell time, then how long was sam in the cage for?

They’ve said it was a year and a half in the show before... I don’t know if that’s true or a handwave and Sam’s experience felt longer (whether because of the inherent nature of the cage or just because of the nature of his interactions with Lucifer).

Michael/Adam has said that they were effectively alone together for a very long time, so I think it’s being implied that they “retreated into their shared mind” rather than engage with Lucifer even before Lucifer got out. That also explains Lucifer’s perspective when he commented on Michael’s state in the cage back in s11 and s12.

But the “hell time” information isn’t new. Back in s11 when Sam was in Crowley’s study in Hell, and then Limbo (because that’s the part of Hell the fake Cage was in), while Dean and Cas were still on Earth, TIME ELAPSED AT THE SAME RATE IN BOTH PLACES. Then in 11.10, Dean went to Hell and spent a good part of the day there while Cas was looking for Amara, before she zapped Cas right to Billie’s Hell Waiting Room. Again, time passed simultaneously. There wasn’t like... weeks passing for Dean in Hell while Cas was delayed from arriving for a short time, you know?

There’s also s6, where Crowley showed Cas around Hell (which we saw in 6.20), though we don’t really have a reference for how long in Earth time that meeting took, since it occurred in flashback, but Raphael gave Cas ONE DAY:

RAPHAEL Tomorrow you kneel, Castiel...Or you and anyone with you dies.

So during that ONE DAY, it’s implied that Cas went to Dean, watched him rake leaves, and then went with Crowley to Hell to borrow the 50k souls he used to slap Raphael down. If their meeting in Hell had gone on the same timeline that Dean’s 40 years occupied... Cas would’ve missed that meeting with Raphael...

Then we have 8.19, where Sam went from Purgatory into Hell. We know Purgatory time runs parallel with standard Earth time, and yet Sam’s strict time limit to get back to meet the reaper who’d bring him back to Earth wasn’t affected by the short time he spent in Hell. It all supposedly runs concurrently with Earth time, and Dean’s activities back on Earth (i.e. Benny shows up in Purgatory at the same time Sam’s expecting the now-dead reaper...). I know this is a more hand-wavey example, but it’s still at least worth adding here as an example.

What it comes down to is Dean’s statement that his time in Hell felt more like 40 years than four months as the ONLY “proof” that Hell time runs differently. Every other example we have has always suggested otherwise. Dean’s experience may have been that way, but nobody else’s has. Which leads us to believe that the time dilation effect was unique to Dean’s experience there, and a function of the urgency to hurry along the process of breaking the first seal and starting the Apocalypse-- which was the entire goal of everything in the show up to that point.

Which also makes John’s year in Hell more plausible, too. John... wasn’t the one “destined” to begin the apocalypse, so he didn’t get the intensive treatment either. When he walked out of Hell in 2.22 with a smile on his face looking completely intact, it becomes impossible to imagine that he spent more time in Hell than Dean did, you know?

This is not to discount the suffering Sam’s soul experienced in the Cage. That was a very special kind of torture on its own, and different in purpose and intent than Dean’s experience. Dean very specifically needed to be “tortured into becoming a torturer himself,” as per the prophecy. Sam... was just trapped in the cage as the sole target for Lucifer’s rage. We saw the direct results of that trauma over s6 and s7, and we know it STILL haunts Sam to this day (per his conversation with Rowena in 13.12 and understanding how Chuck has now confirmed that all of this, their entire lives of suffering against the supernatural, was set up for Chuck’s own entertainment...). But there’s never been anything in canon to suggest that time in the Cage passes any differently from time on Earth, or in Purgatory, or in Heaven. There’s no narrative reason for Hell to just ~be different~ on that sort of scale.

Assuming Dean’s very specific personal experience applied as a blanket statement to all of Hell is just unfounded speculation. It would be like assuming that any one person’s experience in their personal heaven was therefore a blanket truth about ~everyone’s~ individual heavens, and the entirety of Heaven as a whole, you know? It’s just not rational.

#spn 15.08 #heaven hell purgatory and the empty #spn timeline #spn 2.22 #spn 6.20 #spn 8.19 #spn 11.09 #spn 11.10 #spn 13.12 #Anonymous