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immortalcoelacanth · 3 years

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HLVRAI Oneshot: Panic

Here I am flicking back through my massive collection of wips and slowly chipping away at them since I have some neat ideas stashed away I want to actually finish and not just leave in limbo for ten thousand years XD

Word count: 3610

Summary: There were only three things that Benrey was truly scared of. The first, skeletons. The second was Gordon hating him. The third…Was the sound of Joshua crying.

Fear.

An emotion Benrey had little to no experience with.

Of course, that did not mean that he never felt fear, but it was rare for something to make him feel afraid. Pain never frightened him due to his natural healing abilities, considered to be more of an annoyance than something bad, nor was he scared of death.

Being able to respawn had its benefits, after all.

It was somewhat ironic that he had only started to feel fear, genuine fear, after sneaking into Black Mesa and taking on the role of being a security guard. In the darkness of those labs he had seen something.

Something that reminded him of why he had fled in the first place. A flashback to the moment he had first felt that heart-stopping, nauseating sense of dread and fear.

Benrey was scared of skeletons. Not just his own in that metaphorical closet, but of those that followed and watched. The ones whose whispered words floated through the air, indecipherable to all but him.

Their promises and threats.

Skeletons never forgot.

… Working at Black Mesa had also brought about more chances for him to interact with the local humans, and not so humans, that he worked with. Most of them were pretty bland, sounding monotonous and bored, but he had managed to make friends with some of the more… explosive, and energetic personalities.

Like Gordon.

His introduction and subsequent interactions with Gordon brought about his second experience with fear. Not that he was scared of the man, despite all the times Gordon had shot at him or threatened him. It was like watching an angry kitten hiss and spit.

Adorable, and not at all threatening.

No, his fear revolved around Gordon hating him. Disliking him, fighting with him, and all those other icky negative feelings. The anger that had taken over the earlier part of their budding friendship had been… painful, to say the least. Every time he interacted with Gordon, he felt scared.

Scared in a way that he had never felt when interacting with others. Scared he would mess up and never be able to fix his mistake. Scared he would hurt Gordon-

And he had.

It was awful feeling such a way, looking back and cringing at how his fear tainted nearly every interaction he had with Gordon. How hard he had pushed for friendship, for companionship, without really conveying his intentions or how he felt. It was something he still struggled with, discussing things that seemed obvious to so many people but were confusing, downright alien, to him.

But, in the end, everything had worked out alright and he had managed to apologize for the pain he had caused and what he had done, and Gordon had apologized as well. A welcome surprise that helped set their relationship down a more positive path, even if that fear still lurked in the back of his mind.

Fortunately, Gordon was there to reassure him and help work through any problems.

His third source of fear, funnily enough, involved Gordon’s son, Joshua.

Joshua Freeman.

Like his father, Benrey was not scared of the young boy. In all actuality, he cared about him immensely. Little Joshie was a bro, a cool cat, and the second human Benrey had found himself truly caring for. They were not quite family, but those protective instincts were there.

The want to keep Joshua safe, to make sure he was happy and healthy no matter what.

Which was why Benrey was so, very scared.

Kids were small, fragile, and that made it all the easier for them to get hurt, or die. Plus some kids could be downright nasty to their peers, something Benrey had learned about first hand when the school had contacted Gordon about a situation. Things were fine now, but the immense amount of dread and worry, the fear, that had filled Benrey upon learning about what happened had been… something, to say the least.

Gordon needed to fix a total of four, thankfully small, holes in the ceiling afterwards.

It would not be correct to say that Benrey hovered over Joshua as his protective feelings culminated in a sort of awareness. He did not hover, but he was aware of the young boy, aware of where he was and what he was doing. There were times where he was even aware of Joshua’s heartbeat.

Something that helped quite a bit when Benrey was awake and Joshua was caught in a nightmare.

Funnily enough, these traits made Benrey the perfect fit for acting as a sort of babysitter when Gordon had to go out and leave Joshua at home. Since the boy already had a slight grasp on how to take care of himself, such as making sandwiches with leftovers and how to clean up after himself, it made the whole “watching over the kid and keeping him from dying” significantly easier.

… Granted, Benrey still had to take a crash course on what not to do when taking care of human kids.

Accidental toxin consumption, drowning in a tub, tripping and cracking their head on something-

Kids were just so. Damn. Fragile.

Fear, fear, and more fear. The fear that something would happen to Joshua when he was not paying attention. The fear of what might happen, the dozens of possible situations. Fires and explosions, and sudden earthquakes-

Babysitting was a bit of a challenge for Benrey, to say the least.

Fortunately, Joshua was a pretty responsible kid with a good head on his shoulders, and while there was the occasional mishap that would occur, it was never anything too serious.

… Until now, that is.

Things had been going smoothly, Joshua and Benrey were gaming together while Gordon was out with Shea completing whatever important information thingy they needed to do. Benrey knew that it involved Joshua in some regard, something involving his sleep therapist? Maybe? Whatever it was, the young boy had not expressed an interest in going, so it had been decided that Benrey would watch over him until Gordon came back.

A simple plan that was easy to execute. Just make sure Joshie ate, did his homework, and didn’t get too bored.

Simple, that is, until Benrey heard the sounds of Joshua crying in another room.

He immediately jumped up out of the chair he had been seated in and sprinted towards where the sounds were coming from. He quickly noted that the crying was coming from Joshua’s room, and without hesitating he ran inside.

There he found the young boy seated on the carpeted floor, one leg bent and tucked up against his chest while his arms were tightly wrapped around it. His hands were clasped tightly over his wounded knee and his head, which had previously been facing the ground, snapped up to stare at Benrey.

Tears were already falling out of the corner of Joshie’s eyes. It made him cringe at the sight, discomfort building up within him.

“it’s gonna be okay, joshie bro.” Benrey soothed as he crouched down in front of the crying boy, looking him in the eye while sending him what he hoped was a reassuring smile that conveyed none of his worries. “gonna get you fixed up lickity split.”

Okay, Joshie was hurt, but Gordon had given him an overview on how to fix cuts and scrapes. First he had to check it out, then he had to clean it, and then slap a bandaid or some other bandage on it depending on the size. Easy problem, easy fix-

Benrey’s train of thought came to an abrupt halt as his eyes landed on the boy’s scraped knee, fixating on the droplets of blood that were slowly budding up with the occasional droplet rolling down and leaving a streak of crimson in its wake.

Blood, blood-

Gordon, hunched over and full of panic, of fear. Eyes wide in the gloom as the soldiers manhandled him, pinning him in place. His struggling.

His pleading.

His screaming as the blade dug into his arm, blood spurting out of the freshly made wound. The stench of copper permeating the air.

Tommy desperately trying to get to Gordon, Coomer holding the other man back before he got hurt.

The cracking sound of bone breaking.

Gordon dropping to the ground, screams reaching a pitch higher than Benrey thought possible.

An arm, discarded, as the pool of blood around the nearly unconscious man grew.

It was all his fault-

Unbeknownst to Benrey, Joshua had quickly picked up on the change in his mood. He sniffled, wiped his eyes once more, and took stock of the situation. Benrey definitely looked upset, and was still staring at his knee.

First he stood up, wincing as a sharp sting of pain jolted through his knee, but he ignored it in favour of focusing on Benrey. The man’s breathing was quick and raspy, his skin pale, and it looked like he was sweating. He seemed to be staring at some very far away, trembling the entire time.

It reminded Joshua of something his father had gone through, a panic attack. He knew his dad took medication for it sometimes, but he knew it would be a bad idea to give Benrey some.

You never, ever gave someone medication that did not belong to them. An important lesson both his parents had instilled in him.

Fortunately, his dad has also been taught different things that would help calm him down, which he had then passed on to Joshua. Surprisingly enough, the young boy found them to be useful when he was feeling quite anxious, so if they helped him and helped his dad, then it made sense that maybe those methods would help Benrey too!

But before he could help Benrey, he needed to help himself and fix whatever had caused the man to panic so bad in the first place. Maybe then he would start to calm down and feel better. With a plan in mind, Joshua nodded to himself and rushed to the bathroom where he knew the first aid kit was kept, wanting to be away from Benrey for as little time as possible.

After scrubbing off the bit of blood that was still staining his skin with some warm water, and wincing a bit from the friction, he quickly dried his knee off and placed a bandaid over the wound. Now it was all covered up and fixed!

And hopefully would not cause Benrey to get worse…

Joshua rushed back to his room, Benrey thankfully still in the same spot and just as out of it as he was before. A determined look crossed the young boy’s face as he swiftly got to work. Carefully grabbing the man’s arm, Joshua shook the limb to see if he could snap him out of his panicked state this way.

“Benrey? You okay?”

Nothing. No response.

Dejection set in for a moment before Joshua brushed his feelings to the side, focusing on continuing with his next plan. Still holding onto Benrey’s arm, he started trying to pull the man towards his bed. Of course, there were several problems with this plan, like the fact that Joshua lacked the real strength to move the catatonic man, but to his surprise, his actions garnered a response.

Granted, it was only Benrey looking at him, eyes still blank and breathing uneasy, but it was something!

Joshua smiled at the progress and got to work on trying to get him to move. It took some time, and careful maneuvering combined with some soft-spoken suggestions, but eventually he was able to achieve his goal.

Once Benrey was finally settled on his bed, Joshua got to work doing what he could to help him feel comfortable. A weighted blanket was placed on his shoulders and a stuffed animal was placed in his arms, Benrey instinctively tightly holding onto the toy and rubbing the soft, warm fur.

Slowly but surely, Benrey started to calm down. First, his breathing began to slow, returning to a more normal pace, and then the trembling eventually came to a halt. Encouraged by these hopeful changes, Joshua stayed glued to his side, softly humming under his breath as he kicked his legs.

He would wait for Benrey, no matter how long it took.

Fortunately, the man was slowly roused from his frightened state, awareness returning to him. His eyes opened and he blinked slowly, as if he was just waking up from a dream, before glancing at the worried boy beside him. Benrey mumbled, voice strangely quiet and weak.

“joshie?”

“Mhm?” Joshua paused in the kicking of his legs in order to look up at the man, eyes wide and full of worry. “You feeling better, Benrey?”

“... yeah.” He replied after thinking about how best to respond. “thanks for… uh, helping me out and stuff. real pro gamer move.”

Joshua beamed at his words, mood brightening in an instant, and he opened his mouth to ask if the man needed anything. However, before he could start speaking, Benrey continued his train of thought.

“you... you shouldn’t have to… deal with this. with me. i’m sorry.” He mumbled as he huddled up in the blanket, hiding his face from view. He felt…

Like a disappointment, pathetic he had forced Joshua to deal with his problem, sad to know that the boy had seen him in such a state, angry with himself-

Bad.

He felt really, really bad.

Benrey was snapped out of his mental torment by the sensation of someone touching his knee. He jolted and looked back at Joshua, easily noticing how much more concerned the boy had gotten in response to his silence.

He winced.

He didn’t want to make Joshie feel bad, too.

Then again, that was practically his specialty at this point. Making people feel bad. How many times had he made Gordon rage, shout and curse, or breakdown due to his shenanigans. How many times had he felt Tommy’s silent disappointment and the weight of the team pressing down upon him.

How many times would he make Joshie feel bad-

“oof!” The sudden weight against his side knocked both those thoughts from Benrey’s mind, as well as the air from his lungs. He wheezed softly as he instinctively wrapped an arm around Joshua.

Joshua, who had in a moment of brilliance, decided to fling himself at the man in order to hug him.

“Don’t think sad things.” Joshua insisted as he buried his face into Benrey’s shoulder.

“i’m not-” Benrey started to object before the boy continued speaking.

“You are sad! Dad gets the same look on his face when he thinks about sad stuff.” The boy huffed, clinging tightly to Benrey. “Like… when he and mom first split up, he always looked so sad. Like he had done something bad and felt guilty.”

Well, this conversation had taken quite the accidental, serious turn. Rarely had he ever heard Joshua talk about the divorce, same with Gordon and Shea. From what he knew the family had managed to cope quite well with the two adults separating, but dramatic shows about breakups, the law, and hospitals, had shown him that humans generally did not feel good after such a thing, and the last thing he wanted was for Joshua to linger and think about potentially bad stuff. Time to talk and change topics, even if he did not want to.

“i... i’m supposed to-to watch over you and stuff. keep you safe, but… but i didn’t. that’s bad.”

“But it’s not your fault! You didn’t do anything bad!” Joshua objected, backing up a bit so he could look Benrey in the eye, despite the man doing his best to avoid eye contact. His fingers dug deeply into the plushie, and his breathing grew faster.

He messed up, he messed up, he messed up-

Seeing that the conversation was going to go nowhere with Benrey getting all panicked, the young boy decided it would be best to stay quiet for now and help him relax. The last thing he wanted was for Benrey to feel sad or guilty, he had seen enough of that when his father and mother apologized to him for their separation, and it always made Joshua feel weird.

Nothing bad was happening to him, if anything it was nice to see his parents become happier, to see them less stressed. He wanted Benrey to be happy, for him to never have to go through a panic attack like that again.

But… that also meant he would need help that Joshua could not provide. He needed the stuff that helped his dad, adult things he knew little about, but hopefully his dad would know something about how to help.

As Benrey slowly calmed down from his second panic attack, Joshua spoke up once more, wanting to talk about one last thing before he left the man alone to rest and recover.

“Benrey… can I tell dad about what happened?”

The question made Benrey immediately cringe in discomfort, ducking his head and hiding himself under more of the blanket until only his glowing eyes were visible.

“you... uh, you gotta do that?”

“Dad knows more about this kinda stuff, so he’d be able to help!”

Help…? With… whatever that was? With his fears? The thought of such a thing was unsettling to say the least. In all his years, Benrey had never actively sought out help, his interactions with Gordon being outliers of course.

What would being helped entail, anyways? Would Gordon try to get him to go to therapy, something that would never, ever truly be able to help him, or would the physicist push him to find help from other sources.

“you sure you wanna bother feetman about this?” Benrey asked, wanting to both distract himself from the darker thoughts lurking in the back of his mind, and out of genuine curiosity. “you... you really wanna help? why?”

“Because I don’t want you to feel bad, and dad doesn’t either.” Joshua replied, as though it was the most obvious thing in the world. “You’re important to us, you’re dad’s gamer boyfriend! And my… uh, I’m not sure, but you’re still family, and family helps family!”

“... joshie, bro, you-you’re breaking my heart, my man.” Benrey mumbled as he sent the boy a shaky smile. He still felt fairly drained from his two panic attacks, especially since he could feel the lingering dread and fear, but he did his best to push it to the side for now.

Later, he could deal with it later.

… Hopefully with Gordon.

“So that’s a yes?”

“yuuuuuuup, it’s a pog-ya.” The man grinned as he reached out to ruffle the boy’s hair. “you... you did good joshie, real good, with the uhhhhhhh helping and stuff. emotions are bleck, super unpoggers.”

Eyes full of love and support, Joshua leaned forward and hugged Benrey. “It’s okay to not be okay. Dad says it’s healthy to cry when you feel really sad and to ask for help when you need it.”

“... feetman’s got a point sometimes.” He was unable to fully suppress the tears that quickly built up in the corners of his eyes, the words hitting home for some strange reason.

It’s okay to not be okay.

It’s okay to ask for help.

It’s okay to cry.

A string of dull sweet voice escaped Benrey, and Joshua hugged him even tighter. This was the worst time to be having such an emotional revelation, but then again he supposed there was no good time to contemplate facing such a vulnerable part of him, to think about addressing his fears and emotions.

Emotions he had tried so hard to suppress, to hide, but always bubbled up and hurt him in the end.

You couldn’t run from your own shadow, after all.

“know when feetman’s gonna be back?” He asked as he let out a quiet sigh, more of that dull sweet voice filling the air. He felt so tired, so drained. All he wanted was to take a nap and wake up in twenty years.

… Not that he could, of course. Too many games to play and too many special moments between him, Joshie, and Gordon he would miss.

“Nope.” Joshua replied while shaking his head. “Want me to stay?”

Damn this kid could be so observant.

“... can if you wanna.” Benrey muttered while flopping onto his side and hiding himself more under the blanket, making the signature benrrito they all knew and loved.

Rather than verbally respond, Joshua just scooted over a bit so he was leaning against Benrey’s back. After cuddling up to the exhausted man, he started humming.

The tune was simple, soft, and definitely from some Sonic game that Benrey could not identify at the moment. It was one of the older ones, that was for sure, older in the context of the series’ lifespan rather than actual age, and it helped him calm down further.

Slowly, his eyes began to shut and his breathing evened out. The tension that had gripped his body faded, and the chill that had taken over him began to fade due to the warmth of the blanket combined with Joshua’s presence.

He was still scared. Scared of his reaction to the bl-

…

The red stuff that was definitely not cherry sauce, and he was scared of what that reaction meant. He was scared to think about such things, things he had never contemplated before.

Scared to confront what he had ignored for so long. But, even with this fear, he would try.

It’s okay to ask for help.

He would try. Try for Joshua, for Gordon, and just maybe for himself, too.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

God, every character I write needs therapy XD

I hope you all enjoyed reading!

- ImmortalCoelacanth

#my story #fanfiction #hlvrai #hlvrai benrey #hlvrai joshua #hurt/comfort #panic attacks #benrey has ptsd and needs help #joshua is a sweet boy who just wants to help #brief description of gordon's arm being cut off #blood #traumatic flashbacks #hlvrai fic

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yellowocaballero · 4 years

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Bonus story that I regret already

A friend requested a HLVRAI/Freeman’s Mind/HL crossover. Specifically, them getting drinks, in a pub.

I really hate to spill that I’ve seen all of HLVRAI and Freeman’s Mind, but I figure the cat’s out of the bag. It’s three pages. It’s crack. There will be no continuation. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but tw for ableist language, suggested animal abuse, and suggested slavery. So...that’s how you know Freeman Freeman’s Mind shows up.

God, does anybody remember FM? Am I the only person who remembers FM? Am I having a stroke? Imagine if Freeman’s Mind came out in 2020. There’d be call-out posts.

Enjoy...I think? Rest under the cut.

********************************************

“When you think about it, dog breeding just doesn’t make any sense.”

Thank god. Gordon exhaled in relief. The guy sitting across from him in the dim, crowded pub had finally moved on from his extensive...very extensive...opinions on the IRS. Gordon had desperately tried redirecting the conversation to something more normal, like theoretical physics, or his opinion on multi-dimensional crossovers, but instead the guy just seemed very desperate that everybody know that taxation was theft.

“Right!” Gordon said enthusiastically, just trying to get word in edgewise. He knew he liked to talk, but this guy was ridiculous. “Pugs can’t give birth by themselves. It’s inhumane.”

“Oh, forget about that shit.” The guy waved a hand, burping slightly as he slammed back more of his beer. “What I’m saying is that it’s ridiculous not to train dogs to attack your enemies.”

“I don’t actually have that many -”

But the guy was already ranting, completely talking over Gordon. Pleadingly, Gordon looked at the other guy they were sitting with for help, but he just sat there drinking his beer with eyes distantly fixed on the tacky retro diner signs hung on the wall. Traitor.

“When you think about the entire thing’s stupid. The breed standards are just ridiculous, first off. Breeding dogs so they can’t bite, can’t bark, can’t hunt their own food? It’s stupid. What else is the point of a dog! Anybody around here remember why we breed dogs in the first place? It’s so they can help protect us, protect the pack. Dogs used to pull their own. And now they’re just shitty little lap dogs that rich old ladies use to wealth signal. It’s fucking stupid. Dogs are just freeloaders. And I don’t have any freeloaders in my house.”

“Wow,” Gordon muttered rebelliously, “did you read about that on Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia that anyone can edit?”

“So that’s why I’m proposing my new idea for dogs. A better dog. Dog 2, the sequel to dogs, if you will,” the guy continued, completely steamrolling him. “These dogs are huge, first of all. But not too huge, since you don’t want them to be a drain on your resources. I’d say definitely the size of a St. Bernard, maybe a little bit bigger. I don’t give a shit if it’s friendly to children or whatever. I don’t give a shit about children. If they can’t survive my dog attacking them, they were never going to make it to adulthood anyway. Survival of the fittest. Anyway, my dog’s going to be big. Short hair, because we live in a hot climate and I don’t want a dog that’s shedding everywhere. It’s not exactly going to be a polar rescue dog here, I need a dog that can survive the Arizona desert. But this dog has to be two things, and these two things are completely vital. Without these two things, it might as well be a Pomeranian.” The man held up two fingers. “One: the dog must be completely loyal to me. Intelligent, but not too intelligent that it doesn’t accept me as the alpha. I’m the alpha to the dog, as I’m also the alpha to the human race. Its loyalty must be complete. Like, I say jump, the dog says how high. That’s how intelligent it is too.” He pushed down the finger, keeping one up. “Second, the dog must be a cold blooded attack machine. I ain’t owning no pussy dog here. This dog is vicious. It can kill anything, and it will do it with pleasure. This dog feels no regret, pain, anguish, PTSD, hesitance, and it never fucking misses. Its teeth are huge and it’s an unrestrained attack machine. With this dog at my side, ain’t nobody’s fucking with me. Walking down the street with this dog next to me, nobody’s looking at me sideways. The chicks dig me. Everybody thinks I’m great. That’s why this is the ideal dog, above all other dogs.”

“Wow,” Gordon said desperately, really hoping that this was the end of the fucking dog conversation, “that’s great. My friend, uh, Tommy, he has a great Golden. Says it’s a perfect dog. That’s really possible actually, it survived like six turrets -”

“Idiot. That’s not what I fucking mean.” The guy scoffed at Gordon. “This perfect dog doesn’t exist. No dog is that immaculate. And if you try breeding for all those traits, you end up with some shitty inbred dog. No way. You gotta get more creative. Just wanting the perfect dog is for chumps who don’t understand genetics, evolution, dog breeding, dog training, warfare both physical and psychology, psychology itself, sociology, philosophy, or xenobiology. No. What I’m saying now is that in order to get the perfect dog, you have to breed aliens. I’m thinking headcrabs.”

Gordon distantly felt his jaw dropping. “Head - headcrabs?”

“Or those fucked up things with garbage disposal mouths,” the guy said thoughtfully. “Whatever they’re called. I don’t respect any of those shitty aliens enough to give them names. If you want me to remember your name, you have to earn it. My brain’s filled with much more important things, like theoretical physics and being better than you.”

“Garbage disposal - do you mean peeper puppies?!”

“Yeah, whatever. What I’m saying is that I’ve really cornered the market on xenobiology. I’m the world fuckin’ expert in dealing with aliens.” He looked thoughtful for a second as he chugged his beer again, which was a first. “Well. Dimensional expert. Point is, I can say with eighty seven percent confidence that, given enough time and unlimited access to a shock collar, I can train one of those shitty alien species crawling all over Black Mesa to obey my every command and slay my enemies. I could probably even turn it against its kinsmen. Get the aliens to wipe out the aliens, and humanity comes out on top. Then I turn my alien slaves against humanity, and Gordon Freeman is at top. So what do you think? Good idea or good idea?”

Gordon stared at him, slightly horrified, slightly incredulous, somehow amused. God, he had spent too much time around Benrey. This guy would love Benrey. He could never introduce them. “Terrible idea. I can’t believe we’re the same person.”

“You’re a loser. What about you, huh?” Freeman gestured with his cup at the third Gordon Freeman, who still seemed thoroughly checked out of the conversation. “What do you think? Want to invest some money into my plan? You’ll get a three hundred return on your investment, and dominion of the country of your choice.”

Gordon Freeman stared at Freeman blankly. He seemed really checked out.

Freeman looked back at Gordon. “Is this guy retarded or something? That or he’s high off his ass, but I know how I get when I’m high and I’m never that out of it.”

“I’m not sure you aren’t on coke right now,” Gordon groused, sipping his own margarita. Which Freeman had called a ‘girl drink’. Asshole. “Why don’t you just -”

“Hey, Doc!”

Suddenly, with no more advanced warning than the overly friendly cry, Benrey - sorry, Barney - popped up at their table. Freeman groaned, ignoring him completely for favor of his drink, and Gordon waved weakly at him. He seemed - well, nice. Much nicer than Benrey. Not that it was hard.

“You guys having fun or what?” Barney said, leaning against the table and winking at Freeman, who made a face. “We’re having a really good time at the Barney table, let me tell you. Maybe we can do Trivia Pursuit? That’ll be fun!”

“Don’t tell me you’re actually making friends with Benrey,” Gordon said, sighing. “Dude’s insufferable.”

“Blunt as ever, Doc,” Barney laughed. “Benrey’s not that bad! Just kind of a freak, you know?”

“Yeah,” Gordon said, impossibly depressed. “I know.”

“Anyway, I actually wanted to ask the Doc if he had my keys. Hold on a hot second.” Barney turned to the aforementioned zoned out Gordon Freeman, and abruptly started waving his hands around. Wait - was that sign language? When he glanced at Freeman, he seemed interested too.

Even more amazingly, Gordon Freeman responded, rolling his eyes and tilting his fist before digging in his pocket and pulling out his keys, pressing them into Barney’s hands. Barney winked, signed out what Gordon recognized as a thank you, and fucked off back to the Barney table. If Gordon craned his head, he could see Freeman’s Barney (whose name Freeman didn’t even seem to know) trying to drink his beer as he was thoroughly terrorized by Benrey. Gordon couldn’t fight the crush of fondness that bloomed in his chest. Benrey was fun to watch when he was terrorizing someone else - but you could say that about all of his friends, really.

Then the implications of that exchange hit Gordon over the head. He turned to Gordon Freeman, who seemed to have gone back to checking out of the conversation. “Wait, are you freaking deaf?”

Gordon blinked at him sleepily. Gordon cursed, rummaging around on the table until he found a napkin, and Freeman passed him a pen as he wrote down in large, blocky letters ‘ARE YOU DEAF???’ and slid it to Gordon Freeman.

Gordon Freeman stared at it. He looked up at the two of them and - oh, god, he was definitely smirking. Like the cat that caught the fucking canary. He tilted his fist in what even Gordon recognized as a yes.

“You fucking asshole!” Gordon exploded. “You left me to suffer with this guy alone? How could you? That’s not team behavior!”

“You got pranked, bro!” Benrey called, from across the room. “Bro, you got mad pranked! El oh el, bro!”

“Shut up, asshole!”

“Hey, what do you mean?” Freeman asked, offended. “My ideas are genius. This is a unique business opportunity, here. You’ll never get another chance to make three hundred percent back on your investment again -”

“Epic fail, bro!” Benry called.

Gordon groaned and started chugging his margarita. He would need to be a lot drunker if he was going to get through this stupid extradimensional mistake.

#jesus okay time to tag all of this #my writing #hlvrai #hl #half life #freeman's mind #hl fanfic #gordon freeman #benry #barney calhoun #sorry queen isn't in this one #told myself I'd never write benrey and that's still true

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wtfgaylittlezooid · 4 years

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During the time when gman has finally warmed up to gordon... maybe Gordon has a ptsd flashback in regards to his arm. Benrey isn't there for some reason (he probably went out to get Gordon a sick gift cause he loves his epic bf) and the rest of school is at a loss. Gman is finally like "my school is very upset and the moray needs help" and like leads gordon through a calm exercise and maybe uses the sweetvoice. (Gordon might be a little out of it so he thinks its benrey rip) gman father moments

OUUGHH I LOVE THIS,,

#gman knows how to help because hes been through that kind of stuff #hlvrai mermaid au

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testedtommyau · 3 years

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Tested Tommy Chapter 5: Act 1, scene 2 (part 1)

Warnings: Flashbacks, PTSD, panics, child ab/se in memories

Eyes lit up as the noise of keys in a lock was nearby, it was time for food. Tiny paw-like feet pattered to the bars of the cell, eager eyes waiting for the kind giant to give him something to consume. The large figure walked inside and placed the bowls on the ground, the little creature crawled forward, sniffing at the bowls.

“Gotta eat up, Tommy.”

Tommy.

They always referred to him as that, is it a sound to notify they were communicating with him? It didn’t matter at the time. He took the food from the bowl and sat down, eating with his hands. The cell door closed with the figure leaving, they never stayed with him for the food, it was rather lonely. He would like for someone to stay with him. Maybe one day.

The food as always was… bad. He didn’t want to be ungrateful, but it was BAD. The taste was like licking the floor. But he had to eat, or he got extreme pains in his tummy. The water was fine though, nice and cold and washed away the dreadful taste. ‘Tommy’ went back to the corner of the cell, tail curling up towards him to use as a pillow. He wanted someone there with him, it was very cold and lonely. Tommy closed his eyes and drifted back to what felt like eternal waiting.

“Here it is.”

Oh! More giants, does this mean more food? Or maybe one will stay. Tommy got up on his little feet and hurried over, spots lighting up to see the figures entering his cell. The tall figures were all in white, tilting his head he walked closer and curiously sniffed.

BLEH!

Tommy recoiled from the strong smell of whatever was on their outer layer of covering, it felt like something badly burned the inside of his nose.

“It has been with us for six years now.”

“Do you think it's strong enough to start?”

“Only one way to find out.”

One of the figures reached down and took Tommy’s hand, his big glowing eyes stared up at the giant and followed when it stood up and started walking. It was taking him out of the cell! Tommy’s tail swayed as he happily followed the giants that were kind enough to let him out, are they going to take him to a new home?

The area was huge, everything was so big and bright now. There were more giants exiting and going into movable holes in the walls. The one holding his hand took him further down the halls, down to a darker area with a few scattered lights. Tommy gazed up at the giants and was taken inside a room, he looked up at the room sign. 874.

Pointing up to the sign he made a little tune. The scientists stared in awe at the bubbles floating out his mouth, a couple of them popping against the sign.

“That’s number 874.” One of them answered. Tommy did not understand though, maybe later he’ll remember how that sounded and he’ll know in the future.

The room was scary, the giants there were more covered up then the ones that took him here. Their faces covered and like a blank screen. Tommy whimpered and hid behind one of the giant’s legs, hoping it’ll protect him. Instead they picked him up and walked closer to the figures. The little creature squirmed and tried to get away, only to be put onto a table and held there. He sang out more bubbles, the colours fading from greys to black. He wanted to go back, this place was scary, he didn’t want to be here.

“Okay, okay, listen we need to have a pow-wow.”

Tommy shook from his sleep as Gordon announced himself to be in need of conversation with everyone. Bubby and Coomer were already sitting up and alert, only with Bubby’s rather grumpy expression directed towards Gordon. He obviously did not want to be woken up just yet. Under Tommy’s arm was Benrey, still snoozing peacefully. Though he didn’t want to wake up the adorable sight he reluctantly shook Benrey awake.

“Wha…?”

“T-Time to w-wake up.”

Benrey groaned and moved up with a huff, helmet tilting over their face before Tommy moved it so it sat correctly on their head. They shared a smile before Gordon went on again about needing some ‘pow-wow’ with the group.

“Everybody sit around, gather around…”

“Mr F-Freeman d-d-don’t herd me like a… like a sheep in a f-f-farm.” Tommy snapped as he plonked himself down into the circle they had created. Gordon gulped quietly and nodded.

“Right, right.”

“I’d like to have a good ol’ yeehaw with you.”

They all looked over at Bubby for a moment.

“What the fuck does that even mean-Where’s the guard?” Gordon asked, Tommy worriedly looked at the spot beside him where Benrey once was which was now empty. The clanging on the other side however alerted them to Benrey’s whereabouts as they jumped up and sat on a barrel, looking rather proud of themselves.

“Do you have to sit on something…?”

Gordon’s voice trailed off as he self-admitted there was no point to questioning the ‘guard’s’ actions. He turned his attention back to the other three.

“We got to get you some more bullets. Oh, Tommy have you- have you ever fought or like, killed anything?”

Tommy stared at him silently for a moment. Gordon couldn’t help but feel uncomfortable at his gaze. The stillness let him take in some extra depth of Tommy’s features, the scars on his face, a near invisible red line around his neck, the way his brows got closer together as he stared.

“Yes.” Was all he replied.

Tommy had to admit it was quite amusing to see the nervous shock in Gordon’s eyes.

“Um, you good at it…?”

Strange question, Tommy shrugged before he noticed a pigeon walking around on the floor.

“I c-c-can show y-you on that pigeon.”

Gordon’s nervous expression was replaced with one of confusion as he looked to see the pigeon that was indeed there.

“How did a pigeon get in here?” He asked Dr. Coomer and Bubby, but neither could provide an answer.

“So, y-you want me to kill i-it?” Tommy offered again. Gordon shook his head but before he could tell Tommy no he had already punched it so hard it broke its neck and it dropped dead on the ground. Gordon stared silently for a moment then back at Tommy.

“Okay uh, what about a gun? Should I give you a gun? Be easier then punching if we come across more of those… things.”

Tommy thought for a moment, it was a more tactical weapon for distanced kills without risking someone noticing his use of powers. As he was about to answer, Benrey started to sing sweet voice again, the balls of teal surrounding the pigeon in front of them.

“Uh, what are you doing?”

“They’re hungry.” Tommy answered for them as Benrey kept singing. “T-teal mean, mean n-needs meal.”

“Okay uh, anyway Tommy I dunno if you can use a gun or not. You seem to not be processing what I say to you.”

Tommy felt heat boil up inside him again, he can understand perfectly! It’s this- this mere human ball of arrogant flesh that can’t comprehend that he is perfectly capable of such things. A loud siren-like tune interrupted Tommy’s mini internal rage as Benrey promptly shot the pigeon, blood splattering all over the ground.

“Was that a threat to us? In any way?”

Benrey ignored Gordon’s question and moved over to join the circle.

“Barney?”

What? That’s not their name.

“Wha?”

“T-that’s not their name.”

Tommy’s glare could be felt on Gordon’s neck, he was about to correct himself but another pigeon became victim to Benrey’s gunfire as blood splattered onto both of them.

“The fuck man!?”

Gordon stood up and brushed the blood off vest he could and let out an annoyed sigh. Turning on his heel he stormed off alone down the hall. Benrey visibly tucked their head into their collar nervously.

“Did I- did I fuck up bro?”

They looked over at Tommy who scooted closer and took Benrey’s hand into his, reassuring them that they didn’t do anything wrong.

“Guess we got to go follow the bitching babyman before he does something stupid.” Bubby grumbled, he got up and followed the direction Gordon went, Benrey, Tommy and Dr Coomer got up and joined to follow.

Benrey’s hand wrapped around Tommy’s, giving it a comforting squeeze. Their touch helped ground him as they walked. This place made him nervous, the walls of the facility too high and narrow, like a tunnel.

“All good bro?” Benrey asked, their eyes stared up at Tommy, a hint of worry in them. But as always their adoration shone through just from looking at Tommy. It made his heart swell to see how much the smaller alien cared for him.

“Yes, e-e-everything is o-okay.” He promised, he felt the other press against him and purr softly. Soft warmth radiating off them both as their arms looped together.

“Uh, nothin’ gonna hurt us, yeah?”

Benrey’s eyes were hopeful, little sparkles in the bright yellow of their undamaged eye filled with aspiration to start a new life. Tommy would ensure they get it; they deserve it more than anything. There was a soft touch of Benrey’s clawed hand against his cheek, their gentle thumb tracing along the line of freckles on his face. Eyes fluttered close as the two stood together, the world became still in each other’s company. Tommy’s hand met Benrey’s as he held it against his face, his breathing shook as the tenderness was becoming overwhelming from how badly he needed it. Benrey always knew how to help him.

Benrey was everything to him.

“Where the fuck are you even going?”

Tommy and Benrey looked over to where Bubby was nagging Gordon about which direction they should go. It was a fucking tunnel, no other places to go. Benrey piped up and told the group to go ‘this way’ which was just forward, but someone had to give some sense of direction, right?

They found the end of the tunnel led to a ledge connected to the next route; Benrey peaked at the metal bridge which led to yet another high drop below.

“Don’t look good bro, got uh, lil connecters ain’t lookin’ so strong. Probably weak as shit.” They muttered, moving back to press against Tommy.

It also didn’t help that a portal opened, and an alien popped up out of nowhere and fell onto the ledge, breaking it as it tumbled to its death and destroying their initial path. Well, at least Benrey was right on that it wasn’t very stable. Tommy quickly pulled Benrey out of the line of fire of whatever the fuck the alien spewed out while Gordon frantically checked if everyone was okay.

“Yep just… um.” Benrey wasn’t too sure what to do now, the ledge was gone, and the humans can’t just float to the other side. Maybe there was something below?

“This way. Let’s go.”

Gordon paused and looked at Tommy, who just gave him a small shrug and followed Benrey.

Benrey and Bubby took a peak down the ledge. Minus the walkway below, the pit looked bottomless. Definite instant death if one was to fall in.

“Oh no, no, no, no.”

Bubby backed away in fright from the mere sight of the drop, Benrey instead staring down with a look of awe.

Gordon’s eyes widened when he saw the two near the ledge and panicked.

“No! No! Benrey that’s so far down, please get back!” The fear in Gordon’s voice was noticeable, he was properly scared for Benrey being hurt as Bubby had already started to step away. Tommy knew a fall like that wouldn’t do much damage as they could float, but the worry in Gordon’s voice was a bit endearing. He had already risked himself to remove the headcrab and now Gordon was worrying over another stranger’s safety. Humans were strange.

“Right here to the test chamber!” With that, Benrey hops off and falls.

Gordon ran to the ledge to look down with a gasp, Tommy watched him and listened to his panicked breathing as if he expected a dead body to be splattered on the ground below. Knowing Benrey would be fine, Tommy climbed up the pipes and walked along them, he looked down to see Benrey had got up and left in the direction of the next door.

“Are you okay!?” Gordon called out.

“Right this way.”

And Benrey was off on their way again. Gordon only stared in stunned silence. At least they were okay. But now how the fuck were they going to re-group?

“Gordon are you coming or not?”

Startled, Gordon looked up to the ledge where Bubby was.

“How the fuck did you make that jump?”

Tommy continued walking across the pipes to get across, he felt Gordon’s eyes rest onto him as he kept going.

“Oh, Tommy’s got the right idea!”

Tommy pretended to not hear that, but he did feel a little fuzzy at the sort of compliment. Now to get back to Benrey, wherever the fuck they have ran off to.

“Hello Gordon!”

“Hello… Dr Coomer…! Oh my god…”

While listening to Gordon’s voice tiring out of re-greeting Dr Coomer, Tommy kept his eye on Benrey now that they’ve found them. His hand was wrapped around Benrey’s as he didn’t want them running off again. The room was strange to say the least, most peculiar was the boxes suspended in the air, what was the purpose of that? Tommy and Benrey looked at the ledge below them and it was an even BIGGER drop.

“D-Do we have to do this?” They could both hear the fear in Gordon’s voice.

Benrey didn’t bother answering and slipped from Tommy’s grip to jump onto one of the hanging boxes. Not wanting to leave Benrey to disappear again, Tommy quickly jumped onto a box. He tried not to look down, it was a pretty big drop.

A loud scream was heard behind him and Tommy spun around too fast, thinking Gordon was falling to his death. No, the human had landed on a ledge. But his focus was broken and the swinging of the boxes threw him off balance.

“Tommy!” Benrey called out as Tommy slipped and failed to grab the ledge.

“TOMMY!” Gordon almost foolishly ran off the ledge in an attempt to grab him, Tommy let out a scream as he fell into the darkness, out of sight.

Hurt.

Everything hurt.

Tommy was curled up in the corner, hugging his tail and shaking from the unbearable new feeling coursing through his body. He looked down at the fabric around his arm, it was tinted red with liquid that was spilled from his arm. Why did they do that? It hurt so much.

The doors open at the usual feeding time, he should go show the nice giant what happened. Maybe it would try and fix the pain. Tommy got up and hurried towards the giant, little squeaks coming from his mouth as he tried to call them over, showing the bandage on his arm.

The attempts were in vain however. The giant ignored Tommy and simply shoved the bowls into his cell, soon exiting and Tommy was once again alone. And in pain. With a whimper tears started to trickle down Tommy’s cheeks, the sting of rejection stronger than before. What was wrong with him? What did he do to make the giants hurt him?

He couldn’t bring himself to eat, he wasn’t hungry at the moment. Pushing his food away, Tommy went back to his corner, curling up and closed his eyes. Hoping this nightmare will end soon.

Tommy snapped his eyes open and stopped just before slamming into the ground, his body glowed as he levitated himself to his feet. Luckily, he was too far down to be seen by anyone, though they probably thought he was dead now. Minus Benrey of course. But now that he was alone without humans watching him. He could phase through the wall and get back up to the ledges, hopefully without being seen.

The sound of the group’s voices helped guide him back. He managed to phase out of the wall behind a crate and climb over it with his thin frame.

“Tommy!” Benrey rushed over and hugged him tightly. Tommy quickly returned the hug, holding Benrey close to his body. His eyes trailed over to Gordon as he caught his breath, the adrenaline seeming to subside from his system and a tired smile grew on his face when he saw Tommy was okay.

“Tommy? How did you make it back up?”

Shit, he had to come up with a reason that wasn’t ‘I went into the wall and came up through the wall.’

“It’s, like a big slide! I just uh… I-I l-looped around and c-came back up.”

That was totally believable, right?

“Um… sure, sure.”

That didn’t sound like he was convinced, but it’ll have to do.

Benrey’s ears twitched under the helmet, the elevator noises were rather annoying. They fiddled nervously with their vest as the others waited. Bubby looked over to Benrey and gave them a pat on the back, they looked over and gave him a smile but it soon faltered back to a frown.

Bubby turned over to Tommy and grabbed his sleeve, Tommy flinched back with a glare but noticed Benrey gripping at their sleeve. Their eyes wide and darting around the elevator. Dr Coomer and Bubby walked around to Gordon, his back turned to Benrey and Tommy luckily as Tommy held them close, feeling their body shivering.

“H-Hey, what’s w-w-wrong.” Tommy whispered into Benrey’s ear, the smaller alien buried their face into his chest, skin turning a deeper shade of blue as they sniffled.

“What’s going on?” Gordon asked, before he could turn around Bubby pulled out his gun, pointing it at Gordon. Tommy’s eyes darted to the sight, watching Bubby try to distract Gordon while he attempted to quickly soothe Benrey. Gordon may know Benrey isn’t human, but he’s seen the cruelty that comes out of humans when they face Benrey’s body morphs, the last thing they need is someone making them feel worse for being upset. Tommy could feel their skin stretch as more eyes popped up, he looed down and saw two sets of faces warp out as they shook in his hold.

“Shh shh, y-y-you’re okay, i-it’s okay…”

“Can you, not point your gun at me?” Gordon asked, it was at least keeping him occupied.

Benrey’s claws grew as they clung to Tommy, his own hands soothingly stroked Benrey’s back.

“W-w-we’ll be out soon… I p-promise…”

“Don’t… don’t like the… the, the moving boxes… Never w-went to good places.” Benrey muttered under their breath, Tommy’s hold around Benrey tightened, his eyes flashed for a second of gold.

“N-No, we’re not, no going there…” He reassured, Benrey started to calm down.

“Could you not point that at me!?” Gordon repeated, Bubby kept a stern blank face at the man.

“I’m not pointing it at you, I’m just, indicating that I have a gun.”

Bubby looked over to Benrey and Tommy, the morphing seemed to be nearing its end.

“and you should continue looking at me.”

“This seems like a weird threat…”

Tommy focused back onto Benrey, he moved the helmet up and ran his fingers through Benrey’s hair. It was a quick soothing spot for them, closing their eyes they started to purr. Their skin returned to a pale blue and the warping stopped. Tears were still running down their face but that was okay, Tommy softly kissed them away.

“Want off…”

“I-I know, we’ll, we’ll be off here s-s-soon. Sooner then uh, then a slice of cheese m-melting in a fire.”

Benrey chuckled at Tommy’s words, they sniffed and wiped their tears as the elevator dinged when they reached the wanted floor. At least that was finally over.

“Another soda spiller!”

“What the fuck did you just call it?” Gordon asked, Benrey looked at him and repeated ‘soda spiller’. Before he could question that any further, he could see a ‘rope’ hanging from a gap in the ceiling. He peaked above and shot the barnacle, its guts spilling onto the floor.

“Alright time for more soda!”

Gordon smashed the vending machine and the drinks spilled out of it, the gang hurrying past him to engulf in the drinks, making ungodly slurping sounds once again. Benrey noticed a little bug crawling on the machine and picked it up, they inspected it for a minute then tossed it into their mouth with a loud crunch.

“Ew no don’t eat the spiders!” Gordon yelled, Benrey ignored him and kept crunching it much to Gordon’s disgust. Tommy picked up a few extra cans and walked over to Benrey, the two sat down on a table and drank at their soda. The cafeteria was… interesting, one of the few rooms that he doesn’t remember entirely despising. It had a few nice smells to go with it but now it was mixed with destruction and alien guts, though it wasn’t like the original was something to praise at. Benrey pulled out a packet of crisps that they snagged from the broken machine, munching on it and leaning against Tommy’s arm. He felt Benrey’s hand wrap around his own, it felt nice as always. Fingers intertwined as Tommy rested his head on top of Benrey’s helmet, closing his eyes.

“Tommy?”

Tommy looked over to the cell bars, recognising that this sound is directed towards him. Though he does not want to go towards them. Last time he did it ended in pain; he didn’t want to feel that again.

“C’mon boy, over here.”

The giant knelt down and held its hand out, offering its touch. Tommy eyed the hand suspiciously, what if it takes him to another place of pain? But in the giant’s hand was something, new? Tommy curiously walked over and sniffed at the object; it was wonderful. It smelt like something he could give a try. Nothing like the garbage he was eating before. He snatched up the object and bit it, it crumbled in his mouth and provided a jolt of pleasant taste in his mouth.

“You like the cookie, Tommy?”

Cookie. Is that what this thing was? Tommy looked up at the giant, crumbs on his mouth.

“Cookie?” the giant repeated. Tommy stared up at it and kept biting at the… ‘cookie’.

The giant held out its hand again and now Tommy took its hand, being led out of the room and given another cookie.

Tommy cried in the corner; he was fooled again. The pain surged through his leg as he shivered. What did he do so wrong to make them so angry to hurt him?

Tommy shivered as fresh tears fell from his cheeks.

Please make it stop.

Please make them stop.

Please take the pain away.

Please.

“Please stop running into those!!”

Tommy jolted from his thoughts; Bubby fell to the ground coughing horribly as Gordon shot at a barnacle which had attempted to eat him. He watched Gordon rush to Bubby’s side and attempt to clean off the gunk off the grumpy old man’s clothes. Tommy chuckled quietly as he watched Gordon chase after Bubby.

“Look Gordon! A rope!”

Benrey tapped Tommy’s arm and pointed up as Dr Coomer was swooped up by a ‘rope’.

“HELP ME GORDON!”

“STOP RUNNING INTO-THEY’RE NOT ROPES!!” Gordon cried out, his gun made quick work of the alien and Dr Coomer dropped down as if nothing had happened.

“Look, Gordon, a rope!” he repeated.

“You guys are fucking scientists!! Use your reasoning!?”

Tommy could hear the frustration growing in his tone. His heart sped up as he watched the human’s face grow red with anger, like he’s close to snapping. Tommy squeezed Benrey’s hand, he could handle it easy. But seeing a scientist get mad never ended well.

Benrey noticed Tommy’s discomfort and stood up, gently tugging him away while Gordon continued his snapping match.

Benrey and Tommy found a hallway to themselves, though it probably wouldn’t be long before the others caught up again but, in the moment, they could be alone quietly. Another flock of birds cooed in their presence, flapping their wings and moving out of their way.

“A-a-are you okay? Y-you were rather upset earlier.” Tommy asked, his hand still in Benrey’s.

“Yeah bro I’m uh, all good now, just dumb head sights ya know?”

Tommy could see Benrey was still bothered by it, he wished he could make it all better. That now they were finally out the pain will instantly leave. But it seemed that was not how the world worked unfortunately. The pair were still suffering, Benrey was still dealing with random episodes that freak them out. It wasn’t fair.

Tommy looked at Benrey’s eyes, at least one thing he knew would always be okay is how Benrey made him feel, he pulled them closer and gave Benrey a soft kiss on the lips. Benrey smiled against him and stared into his eyes when they pulled away. Tommy took Benrey’s face into his hands, thumbs stroking across their cheeks. He needed to ensure they were there with him, that they knew he was there for them. Benrey closed their eyes as Tommy traced a line over one of Benrey’s scars on their lips, he placed a gentle kiss upon it.

“God there’s so many birds!”

Tommy and Benrey jumped away from each other in surprise as Gordon climbed down to the room they were in; the moment was nice while it lasted.

“Did we have like uh, like a bank of birds in black mesa?” Gordon asked, looking towards Tommy and Benrey. Bubby muttered ‘what the hell?’ while the other two shrugged.

“Are these like, test animals?”

It was a perfectly fine question to ask, he’s probably right as well. But Tommy felt his heart stop for a moment at the mention of tests despite them not being directed towards him.

“W-w-where you c-c-conducting experiments? Ma-maybe they got loose.”

Tommy looked down at the birds, Bubby and Benrey making quick work of shooting them dead.

“What? No, I didn’t know about any of this.” Gordon replied, he stood by Tommy watching the bloodbath in front of him.

“Were you in the bird division doing any bird tests?”

“NO!”

The NERVE of that Freeman! Even considering that he would ever do such a thing, death was one thing. But the life of experiments!?

Gordon could see the anger in Tommy’s eyes and backed away.

“Then what are they doing here?”

“I don’t know.”

The gunshots finally got to Gordon as he snapped. “Why are you killing them!? They’re just birds!”

Benrey stopped firing for a moment and looked over to Gordon, Dr Coomer inspected the carnage and spoke up.

“We could cook and eat these for food, Gordon!”

“Right so we’re going to eat them? That’s the only acceptable excuse for this!”

“They shouldn’t be here.” Benrey interrupted and went back to their shooting.

“Didn’ let them in.”

Tommy watched the last bird fall to the ground in blood, Gordon’s face still stunned in horror.

“Right this way.” Benrey said as they moved down the hallway.

Gordon let out a yell of terror, Tommy looked down where Gordon fell, and the turret was firing at him. That was a rather valid reason to be screaming. Benrey grabbed Tommy’s hand and jumped down behind a crate, Gordon already seeking shelter at the next point while it kept firing.

“Tommy it can shoot through the boxes!” Gordon warned. A headcrab pounced at him but he quickly shot it before it landed.

“Wha?” The turret shot through and hit Benrey’s arm, they let out a hiss of pain.

“B-Benrey!”

Tommy picked Benrey up and bolted, Gordon screaming at him to get to cover fast as Tommy slid down to where Gordon was, the torrent finally halting its fires.

“Is he okay!?” Gordon asked, Tommy leaned back against the wall and sat down, holding Benrey’s bleeding arm.

“Is all good bro, will uh, be healed up in-ow fuck, no time!” Benrey reassured, Tommy letting out a sigh of relief. Dr Coomer and Bubby in the meantime managed to disable the turret, leaving it safe when Benrey got up and looked around the corner.

“Has it stopped?” Gordon asked, Tommy walked out to see Dr Coomer and Bubby there unharmed.

“I-It can’t hurt you, if you’re s-s-smart.” Tommy said, smiling.

“T-that’s why we’re a-all scientists.”

Gordon let out a little laugh and walked over to Tommy with a pity smile on his face. Excuse him?

“Buddy, buddy, that’s not how it works.” Gordon got uncomfortably close to Tommy and placed his hand on his cheek. Tommy’s eyes widened as he whacked Gordon away.

“D-Don’t touch m-me!!” He yelled, turning a heel and storming off. Tommy walked a fair way ahead of the group, why did he touch his face!? Did he think he was going to let Gordon that close to possibly harm him? He’s not stupid.

But also…

Tommy reached up and touched the cheek Gordon had his hand on. It… was closer to how Benrey touched them then how other scientists touched him. While it was uncalled for, he was slow and the touch was placed almost carefully. He felt his face heat up and he shook. This wasn’t the time.

His hand rested on his belt and felt the outline of his gun, he pulled it up and cocked it. It felt weird at first, pointing it to how he saw the guards do so with one hand. Finger on the trigger.

Footsteps approached as the rest of the team caught up with him, Gordon’s eyes widening as he noticed the gun in Tommy’s hold.

“Right uh, you ready to test that thing?” He asked. And Tommy pulled the trigger.

“Dude!?”

Gordon stepped away and Tommy’s own eyes were now wide, he didn’t mean to fire it!

“Um, y-yeah.”

Though it did feel rather fun. He pointed it up, away from Gordon and fired again.

“No, no, no! You don’t just shoot it when there’s people around.”

He gestured to Dr Coomer and Bubby who were below the ceiling which Tommy shot at.

“That w-was test.” Tommy replied, the two locking eyes now.

“You don’t need to test a gun, okay?”

“Y-y-you d-don’t need t-to tell me w-what to do!”

Gordon’s frustration grew as he stepped forward, only for another gunshot to be heard and a dent appear in the suit. The two looking towards Bubby who was aiming the gun at Gordon.

“Seriously!?”

“… Sorry my bad.”

“H-How’s the arm?” Tommy asked Benrey, they looked down at the hole in their shirt but the wound itself was near gone, mostly a scar.

“Pretty good bro.”

Tommy smiled and kissed Benrey on the head.

“Oh my god another guard, thank fuck.”

Benrey looked up to see Gordon talking to a guard, dread sank down their stomach but luckily Dr Coomer gave it a good punch in the leg.

Oh, oh shit now he’s shooting at Gordon!

Benrey whipped up their gun and shot the guard in the face, he fell to the ground. Headshot!

“Why would you do that?!” Gordon snapped.

What? Benrey raised a confused eyebrow, they, they saved him? Why was he so upset?

“Assume if we threaten anyone! They’ll assume we are a threat!” He continued yelling. Tommy moved in front of Benrey with a death glare to Gordon, silencing him without a word. He looked at Benrey who was behind Tommy, the look in their eyes hurt and confused with a few blue orbs floating from their mouth.

“I… Just, god please stop killing people…?”

Tommy shook his head. “No.”

Gordon gulped quietly as all four of them stood before him, almost against him. Tommy could see confusion and fear in Gordon’s eyes.

“Don’t hurt him.” Benrey piped up, to Gordon’s surprise. Tommy’s eyes softened as he looked at Benrey. Then back at Gordon.

“L-Lets go.”

Sounds of gurgled grunting caught Tommy’s attention, breaking away from the group he spotted a few more aliens. Nothing he hasn’t fought before. He looked at his gun.

But now…

Tommy took out the gun and lined up his finger with the trigger, the alien spotted him and charged forward only to be repeatedly shot with bullets, Tommy firing at increased speed, covering the alien in bloody holes.

“Tommy going ham!” Gordon cheered, Tommy didn’t stop shooting and felt his body fuel with adrenaline at Gordon’s encouragement. The alien attempted to run but Tommy watched it drop to the ground as its body couldn’t handle anymore bullets.

“Go off Tommy!”

Tommy pointed his fun up and fired at the barnacle, finger still pressing the trigger fast.

“Holy shit you got a trigger finger.”

He went into the room the alien tried to escape into, Bubby following behind. Not much seemed to be in there.

“Tommy you said you’ve never held a gun before!”

Tommy looked over to Gordon, uniform splattered with blood.

“Th-This is all instinct, Me Freeman!” He replied.

“Instinct?”

Tommy nodded.

“I-I, I’ve d-done stuff l-like this a lot b-b-before. Just not with a g-gun.” He explained.

“Oh, uh, okay um… You’re good at it.”

“… Th-Thanks.”

The two stood there in silence for a moment, Tommy’s eyes refusing to meet Gordon’s.

First to break the tension was Tommy walking out the room, Gordon watched and saw the man had once again gone to Benrey. It was probably best to keep moving anyway.

The days went by, too many to count despite the tallies littering Tommy’s cell room.

The cell door opened but Tommy didn’t come to the giants, they were not happy when he refused to come over the other times, the purple and dirty yellow marks on his skin aren’t from the pain rooms. They were from the giants when he did something that made them angry, not coming over made them angry. But why would he come near? They keep taking him to bad places.

“It’s time to go.”

He did not go towards the voice. He didn’t grant a glance over to them, simply stared into the corner of the room.

“Do you want another cookie?”

No. No he does not want to go near that ‘cookie’. Every time he was given a cookie it ended in pain. Every time he went near the giant’s and left the cell only ended in pain. Tommy hugged himself tighter, covering his face as he heard the footsteps get closer. Readying himself for the pain that is soon to come.

“Tommy? Come here, now.” The giant demanded. Still meeting refusal, he could hear the frustration grow.

“I will not tell you again.”

Then don’t.

Get it over with.

“Yo! It’s the soda!” Benrey called out, Tommy shook his head a little and looked onward at the red light of another machine, rushing over with them to the soda giver.

“Oh, hell yeah, you guys want some more soda!?”

Gordon aimed his gun and shot the machines, the soda spilling out once again as the team flocked around with greedy mouths. Gordon chuckled at them all and took care of the aliens around the corner.

Tommy came up behind Gordon.

“M-Mr Freeman?”

Gordon jumped a little and looked towards Tommy. He put a can of soda into Gordon’s hand.

“B-Benrey said y-y-you need to h-have some soda.”

He looked at the can, a Sprite tm can. He was pretty thirsty… Gordon popped open the can and took a refreshing sip, he noticed Tommy still standing there.

“Oh uh, thank you, and Benrey. Um.”

Tommy stayed silent.

“Listen I uh…” He looked to the others who were busy slurping the soda still. “I’m really sorry, again. For upsetting you and Benrey earlier. It’s, it’s all very overwhelming.”

Tommy looked at him, listening.

“And murder is just, it’s just something most humans don’t go wanting or having to see. But I also shouldn’t have touched your face without asking. I also don’t really like people doing that.”

Tommy felt his chest ache as Gordon talked. This human was going to be the death of him somehow, it was just unclear as to how he would do so.

“It’s, it is r-r-rather, stressful. Th-The situation I-I mean.” Tommy admitted, taking a sip of his own soda.

“Yeah…”

“Yo bro, got the lil science boy to drink something? Get that nutrients?” Benrey barged in, they gulped down a soda, swallowing loudly. It made Gordon laugh at least.

“Yeah, I’m drinking the soda, thank you.”

Benrey grinned and let out some yellow sweet voice. “Niiice.”

Gordon smiled wider at the two, Tommy let a small curve slip before ensuring he was back to a stern look. It was good enough to make Gordon appear more relaxed at least.

“Are you mother fuckers going to hurry up or what?!” Bubby yelled, the three looked over to see Dr Coomer and Bubby were already at the next room. How the? They were just drinking the soda only a second ago!

Oh well.

“’M tiiiired.” Benrey announced, promptly dropping onto the cold floor and staying there. Looks like they were resting for a bit then. Tommy sat beside Benrey and pulled them onto his lap, Gordon sat down in front of Tommy while Dr Coomer and Bubby sat together.

Benrey moved their head to rest on Tommy’s chest, yawning with sharp teeth showing. Gordon’s heart skipped a beat at seeing them snuggled up like that, and the soft hold Tommy had around them.

“So, what about your guy’s lives? Got any family Dr Coomer?” Gordon asked.

“Well, I did have a wife, but they took her in the divorce!” He replied, still smiling wide as if he didn’t just say something that’d raise an eyebrow.

“They took your wife in the divorce?”

“Hello, Gordon! Yes.”

“What the, what do you mean TOOK your wife?!”

“Now Gordon I believe it is rude to press on personal matters!”

He did have a point…

“Yeah, shut the fuck up, Gordon.”

Bubby put it a lot less nicely, but Gordon couldn’t help but chuckle at the old man’s bluntness. He turned to Tommy, who was still protectively holding a near asleep Benrey.

“How about you Tommy?”

“Hm?”

“Got any family, like where are you from?”

Tommy sat there in silence for a moment.

“I… I d-don’t know I’m an o-orphan.” He replied. Gordon’s face changed to one of sadness but didn’t say anything. Benrey opened their eyes for a moment to quickly shoot the pigeon walking closer, no one can take Benrey’s cuddle spot.

“B-But I have a dog!”

“Oh really? What’s your dog’s name?”

Tommy stared at Gordon for a moment yet again, his head saying the words but he couldn’t quite get it out…

“S-sunkist.”

There we go.

“You, named your dog after soda?”

“I-It’s a good n-n-name for the p-perfect dog.”

Gordon kept giggling. “You really like soda, don’t you?”

Wasn’t it obvious? Tommy rolled his eyes.

“Yeah.”

Tommy looked back down at Benrey; their face squished against his chest. He brushed some hair out of their face and looked back up at Gordon.

“So um, what about Benrey?”

Tommy’s eyes flicked down to the ground; his arms pressed them closer to himself.

“Isn’t v-very n-nice. Th-that’s for B-Benrey to t-t-tell you.” Tommy replied.

“Yeah, that’s probably best. He looks so tired…”

“I-It’s been a l-long day…”

Gordon nodded and rested against the wall, Tommy looking away to rest with Benrey.

The room was quiet, Tommy’s eyes wandered at the group settling down to rest. What was life going to be like when they escaped? He’s waited for this day for so long and it’s so close to his reach.

And he hadn’t a single clue what he was going to do with that freedom. The sound of Benrey’s breathing reminded him of who else was holding out on this hope, and he promised that Benrey would see the day of freedom. He has to, he can’t let Benrey down.

Not like his ‘family’ did, whoever they are. If he even had one. There was no point in bothering about whoever they are, they abandoned Tommy. They do not deserve a place in his thoughts. His eyes gazed on to Gordon, he knew what life is like outside… Maybe if things go well he can assist him and Benrey. Maybe...

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