#but anyway!! really fucking pissed that. blocking someone for a few days isn't something socially acceptable

[theogony]

gn

#ranting here because if I do this irl someone will know but. I really fucking need an outlet but skip if you want #but anyway!! really fucking pissed that. blocking someone for a few days isn't something socially acceptable #like dude I've knwn you for ?? 7 years now?? but that doesn't mean I'm comfortable listening to you constantly talk about my love life #his love life* and like. fucking invalidating me when I come out to you as ace and bringing it up everytime you tell me about your #relationships like I get being gay is not easy in [redacted] but that doesn't mean I'm always ok listening to your tragic gay #romance especially when you like. actively talk about gaslighting others when you rebound like dude?? you're swag as hell #but when you gaslight others - likee I get I may be sounding slightly clingy - I get paranoid?? you've gaslit me too?? #and so like. I blocked you because my mental health is really fucking down the drain and I'm low-key overwhelmed #BUT?? INSTEAD OF CONFRONTING ME LIKE A NORMAL PERSON THAT YOU WERE INSECURE #YOU BLOCK ME. DELETE ALL YOUR SOCIAL MEDIA ACCOUNTS. TELL EVERYONE YOU KNOW I'M TOXIC. girl. gn #yes I know like he did deserve an explanation which I would have been happy to give but uh! why the fuck would you tell others I'm toxic #like mate. I'm not even going to lie I low-key sound toxic here but you do to! what the fuck! #worst part is I can't. I can't fucking complain because I've known this funky dude for 7 years #and like. I still trust him. even though he'd choose someone else in a heartbeat over me which i. have made with peace with #and like most of my friends are just telling me he's being toxic and I should cut him out and that he's just trying to like be a bitch #but like. tbf he used to be such a doormat but now he's like. low-key toxic esp cause I'm on decent terms with his ex #girl gn. move. on. I'm so fucking tired I have to work with you you can't avoid me forever like literally all I want is one fucking civil #convo about the competition we have to work together for but NOOOO you can't do that much. fuck

[thewolfmanslayer]

Honestly the amount of people who say artists and writers should do stuff for free, or try to rip them off on comissions still royally piss me off.

I think the worst part of it is the entitlement, I dont want to make this too much about generations but a lot of commissioners are millenial/Gen z's who grew up on the "steal and pirate everything" mentality, take everything that you can because no one else is going to hand it to you. which I can get behind, when you are screwing over MULTI BILLION DOLLAR COMPANIES. NOT THE STRUGGLING ARTISTS AND WRITERS who are trying to keep food on the table as desperately as you probably are!

It's simple, you wouldn't walk into a restaurant, order food and tell the server "sorry I don't have any money, but I've got like a few thousand followers on social media, I can get your name out there, get the restaurant some exposure" NO! They don't need "exposure" they need you to pay the damn bill!

On top of that, most of these artists and writers ALREADY HAVE FOLLOWINGS. They already have thousands of people following them, waiting for the chance to get a commission, who are willing to pay for said commission, they don't need "exposure" when they're already out there! He'll even the artists and writers with a few hundred don't need it, they'll get more followers as time goes by, their skill alone will see to it.

And what is with people trying to get free art and writing? It's not going to work! You can't harass someone until they cave, trust me, you'll be long since blocked before you even have the opportunity. I don't do comissions, online anyways, but my own friends and family, people who actually know me STILL PAY ME whenever they ask for me to do art for them because they KNOW it takes TIME AND EFFORT.

How many times do we need to have this discussion???? Like when is it going to finally click that people who need to pay their bills just as much as you do AREN'T going to do this shit for free!?

Here's the thing about art and writing, that you've heard a billion times but still aren't getting; IT. TAKES. TIME. AND. EFFORT. TO. GET. DONE. the art isn't going to magically appear and the writing isn't going to suddenly write itself, if either were so convenient YOU WOULDNT BE ASKING AN ARTIST OR WRITER IN THE FIRST PLACE!

Look at that, you see that? The first picture I did back in 2012-13, the picture beside it? I did that TWO YEARS AGO. I didn't suddenly know exactly what to do, or had anything close to a god given talent for drawing (I'm not that talented). The first picture WAS THE ABSOLUTE BEST I COULD DO AT THE TIME THAT I MADE IT. In the time between these two drawings I admittedly took a break from art, but then I got back into it four years ago. EVEN STILL that was four YEARS of starting over from the basics, relearning everything, learning new things, wanting to actually improve my art.

Which, guess what, DID NOT HAPPEN OVER NIGHT. It was HOURS UPON HOURS of my limited free time as an adult drawing over and over and over and over again, every single goddamn day to get to the point that I was able to make that redraw look as good as it does in comparison. He'll, my art now puts them both to shame! Because I spent the time improving my quality!!

Now look at these artists doing comissions, they've probably put EVEN MORE of their time to get that good! They've put in LITERAL YEARS of sweat, blood, tears, frustrations and dedicated hardwork. Some did the same as me, self teaching and lots of practice, others probably had to go to school, which definitely wasn't cheap. But all of us put in that time and effort TO REACH THESE POINTS. Of being better artists, developing our styles, getting faster at drawing.

And maybe you think that this is super easy, right? That I or every other artist can just fire some art off and boom its good and done in like an hour?

FUCK. NO.

Even now it takes me several hours a day OVER MANY DAYS to make something exceptionally good! It doesn't matter how good an artist is, it still. Takes. Time.

Maybe the issue is that you don't understand how much actually goes into art, let me break it down for you, the steps that most people follow to finish ONE drawing.

-Rough draft: general character outline, get a feel for what I want to draw.

-Rough sketch: I start doing a bit of pencil to start filling in details like mouth, nose, eyes, hair, clothes. Ect.

-Penciling: I go over the rough sketch and clean everything up, maybe do some editing, this is when you can start making out all the details.

-Ink: I trace over the finished pencil with a pen tool and actually have the line art, everything looks clean, presentable, it actually looks like a character now. I'll spend time editing this and possibly redoing the inking many times over to get to a point where I like it.

-Flat color: I decide on which colors to use for skin tone, clothes accessories. Ect.

-Shading/highlights: I figure out where my light source is and how strong it is, I then apply the correct amount of lighting and shadows to the color to give it depth, I also have determine the texture of skin, clothes and accessories to make everything look real and natural.

-Blending: I smooth out the shading and highlights so that it looks more natural and isn't too hard (noticeable difference between color) so that it looks as natural as possible.

-Finish: I go over last minute details, finish any editing or corrections that need to be done. Once it's good I call it a day.

Each process is longer in length then the previous, with the exception of the final editing (as long as everything looks good) and even the rough draft can take some time. Over all this is SEVERAL HOURS of work for a SINGLE DRAWING.

So is it sinking in yet? How much is put into doing even a single character drawing? God forbid if its done with background. This isn't a "scratch a pen around and be done with it in ten minutes" kinda deal, no, this is SEVERAL HOURS OF SOMEONES LIFE BEING PUT INTO THIS

And if you still have the AUDACITY to try and wrangle free art from an artist then there's no helping you, you're just a selfish piece of shit, no question and I want nothing to do with you.

Someone might say "But I got free art/writing from.-" look I don't give a shit if someone did something for you THAT ONE TIME, these other artists and writers? Totally seperate and different people. You're one freebie experience does not, and should not apply to other artists and writers.

"But what if I really want this commission but don't have the money right now?" Well, that's tough shit. Save up and properly commission them when you can, it's not their problem.

"But what if I'm in a really bad financial situation and really want it?" That sucks, and I'm sorry, but again, not their problem. Chances are this is their only source of income and they need to make money so that they don't end up in a similar situation.

"They have a gift! They should share it!" What kind of cheap ass- LOOK, just because someone is talented or really good at something does not automatically obligate them to do anything for total strangers in anyway shape or form. These are living, breathing people, the same as you. They need to eat, they need to pay rent/mortgages, they need to pay vet bills, send their kids to college, do their taxes and everything else that YOU YOURSELF need to do. Asking anyone to spend their time doing something for free, when that something is how THEY ARE SURVIVING is beyond asinine. Not only that, this obviously isn't a hobby to them, it is very clearly THEIR JOB. Would you want to do a job where you didn't get paid at all? Doing a shit ton of work for absolutely nothing? No? Didn't think so.

"It shouldn't be about the money!" Well unfortunately, as with almost every other job, it is. We live in a world where we desperately need to make money in order to survive. That's the painful fact of the matter. If money never had to be an issue ever again then this would be a very different story. But it's not, plain and simple as can be.

Look, these people are just like you, artists and writers who are just trying to get by in a shitty ass world, using the one thing they have that let's them have an income. Leave them be, don't try and trick them, guilt them, or cuss them out when you don't get your way. Either properly comission or leave them the hell alone, plain and simple.

#artists #writers #art #writing #rant #comissions #people

[punkscowardschampions]

Tess & Bea

Tess: You have to tell me where you are Bea: I'm fine Tess: That isn't what I asked Bea: That's what you need to hear regardless Tess: No, I need to hear a location Tess: but I'll drive round with a screaming baby regardless Bea: Don't waste time guilting me, go home Tess: Come home and I can too Bea: That's not an option Tess: Neither is this Bea: Yes it is Bea: I can say the placement fell apart, they'll have to find a new one, easy Tess: If that's what you want, we can talk about it Bea: Just keep Ro, okay Bea: please Tess: Oh Bea, of course we're keeping her Bea: Good Bea: She doesn't need to leave, she's not done anything Tess: None of this is about your sister, it's about you Tess: and you don't need to leave Tess: Talk to me Bea: I do Bea: I'm not going to stop Bea: I'm sorry but I can't Tess: So you leave, what then? Tess: You know they could send you anywhere Bea: I'll visit Tess: If you say the placement broke down, you don't also get to come round for tea Bea: I meant him Bea: I know I can't come see you all Tess: He'll still live here Tess: If you're gone, you're gone, kid Bea: You can't keep him under house arrest forever Tess: You think I'm letting him out of my sight after this? Bea: Yeah Bea: screaming baby, after-all Tess: I'd say watch me, but you won't be here to see it Bea: I'd say the track record is 1-0 to me Tess: The punishment doesn't really fit my crime, but go ahead Bea: This isn't about punishing you Tess: I am being anyway Tess: but I ain't special, so are you, so is he Bea: We didn't mean to, alright Tess: I know that Bea: There's no point punishing him for it Tess: There's every point in trying to protect him though Tess: especially since I've done such a shit job of it up til now Bea: I'm not a predator Tess: That's not what I'm saying Tess: I can't stop you from going but I can stop him running off after you Bea: Yes you are Tess: No, I'm not Tess: I'm saying I know exactly how he feels about you and what he's willing to do Bea: I'll tell him not to Tess: Yeah, 'cause that'll work Bea: You're either going to protect him or you aren't then Tess: All I can do is try Tess: That ain't always enough, I don't need you or anyone else to tell me Bea: Well then Tess: Are you gonna tell me where you are or am I calling the police out? Bea: Don't be ridiculous Bea: I'm just thinking Tess: Whether you reckon it's ridiculous or not, it's the hoop I have to jump through Tess: I'm still your foster carer for now Bea: If you don't come, I'll tell you Tess: Tell me and I'll decide whether it's safe to leave you there or not Tess: This isn't a game Bea: I'm not an idiot Bea: I wouldn't go anywhere unsafe Tess: Me either, but you've both treated me like a mug Tess: That stops now Bea: It wasn't personal Tess: How do you reckon that? Tess: This affects all of us Bea: We didn't want any of you to know Tess: Well, now I do, and if you leave the others are gonna notice Tess: They'll have questions Bea: That have simple answers Tess: You really want your sister to think that the slightest bad behavior and she's out on her ear too? 'Cause that's how it'll look Bea: It isn't slight bad behaviour, I've not stolen a fiver out your purse Bea: I'm not a child Bea: and she's unlikely to repeat the offense so I think we're fine Tess: Oh so you want me to tell her the truth, warts and all, yeah? Tess: Put it in your file for the next person and everything, like Bea: I don't care, do what you have to Bea: I told you, I'm not going to stop seeing him Tess: You may not care about yourself but I care about you Tess: Jesus Bea: I know and I care about you, believe it or not Bea: that's why I'm fixing this Tess: It's not a fix Tess: If you leave here fuck knows where they'll put you, who with Bea: I'll be fine Bea: I'm sure I've handled worse Tess: You don't know that Tess: and what about him? I'll carry the guilt and responsibility of it, I know I can handle it, but don't tell me you want that for Fraze Bea: Don't Tess: I don't need to tell you what he's like Tess: How much it'd hurt him if anything happens to you, he's already in bits that you legged it Tess: You need to think carefully about what you want your next move to be Bea: I'll talk to him Tess: Come home, he's waiting for you Bea: I don't want to talk to you yet okay Tess: I'm not gonna block the door unless you do Tess: You can come back Bea: Alright Tess: He don't wanna talk to me either but I'll let him stay too Bea: It's just Bea: we don't need to ever do we Tess: I reckon we do, kid Tess: but it doesn't have to be tonight Bea: We'll see Tess: Listen, if I'd had the option at your age, shit might have worked out different for me Tess: I'm not saying I need every detail, believe me I don't, but shutting me out ain't the way either of you are gonna get what you want Bea: We know what we're doing, don't worry Tess: That doesn't make me feel better Tess: and it's not just about that Bea: I'm just saying Tess: Me too Bea: I'm not gonna make you a grandma Bea: get real Tess: I know you won't, all the time I've spent having chats with him to make sure that won't happen Bea: Ugh Tess: Not a barrel of laughs for any of us Bea: You know they teach us all that in reception now, yeah? Tess: I know that this is the last baby I'm raising Tess: and that I didn't push these kids outta me for someone else to raise 'em Bea: Should've given Fearghal the talk Tess: I've given him plenty Bea: Maybe yourself, then Tess: I give it out, don't mean I take it Bea: Hmm Tess: Anyway, I wanted every one of 'em Tess: You included Bea: It's alright, he won't remember any of this Bea: 3-4 earliest, you can say what you like 'til then Tess: I'll say what I like then too Tess: You know me Bea: Of course Tess: So, where are you? Tess: 'cause I'm gonna keep asking Bea: I was on a bus Bea: now I'm waiting for one back Tess: I'll come get you Tess: in silence Tess: at least from me, can't speak for the baby Bea: Can I get in the back or is it the boot only Tess: I was thinking roof rack Bea: ha ha Tess: Career in stand up after maternity leave is a maybe Tess: fair enough Bea: Wouldn't run up any credit banking on it Tess: Those days are over, kid Tess: I don't owe anyone anything Bea: Leave that out of your routine Bea: not very relatable Tess: Depends on your audience Bea: Aiming for royal variety as your first gig is even more ambitious Tess: Gotta aim high Tess: Be an even shitter role model otherwise Bea: Shut up Tess: You've got jokes too, yeah? Tess: Trying to tell me what to do is bound to get a few laughs Bea: Know your audience Tess: ha ha ha Bea: Alright, not coming for your gig Tess: Good to know, like Tess: I need the cash more than you Bea: How'd you work that one out Tess: Many mouths to feed under my roof Tess: including yours Bea: Which you're currently managing to do Bea: I've got none Tess: Well, I would've paid you for babysitting if you'd got eyes for anyone but each other Bea: ha ad infinitum Tess: That one ain't a joke, trust me Tess: I trusted you both with my kid Bea: And he is and was fine Tess: You really gonna take credit for that, are you? Bea: We wouldn't let anything happen to him Tess: It isn't always a choice Tess: and you've already made it clear what your priorities were and are Bea: He was asleep Tess: If you're reckoning that gets you off the hook you're speaking to the wrong person Bea: I'm saying, he was fine Bea: you don't watch him sleep Tess: and I'm saying there's plenty of other teenagers I could've paid not to give a fuck Bea: and I'm saying we do Bea: didn't leave him outside or forget to feed him Tess: Yeah 'cause that's the benchmark here Tess: don't take the piss Bea: Jesus Tess: Be as angry as you want, I'm livid Bea: Not waiting for permission Bea: just this bus Tess: I saw that for myself Tess: He's not allowed no girls in when I'm not, it's not different rules for you Bea: If you wanna make that your cross to bear Tess: I'd love to not have to Bea: Then don't Tess: Look what happens when I take any steps back Tess: Great idea, cheers Bea: This would've happened regardless of how much of a helicopter mum you want to be Bea: It's got nothing to do with you, I keep saying Tess: The consequences have got everything to do with me, whatever happens Tess: I'm responsible for him and you Bea: It's not like I have a social worker Bea: and it's not like it's illegal Bea: or anyone else knows Tess: 'Cause I'm it, I'm meant to do it all for you Tess: that's what parenting is Tess: I'm not bothered about things blowing up in your face that way Tess: what happens when you two don't wanna be together anymore, you'll have to leave or live with it Bea: I know Bea: we've done that before, remember Tess: It'll be harder this time Bea: We can handle it Tess: You can't speak for him Tess: He's not as strong as he lets on, you know that Bea: Well it's happened Bea: It can't be taken back Tess: No shit Bea: So he'll have to Bea: You can't do anything about it Tess: I can pick up the pieces, I'll have to Bea: That's what parenting is Tess: Yeah Bea: Are you telling me I can't date your son? Tess: I'm not that stupid Bea: Then what Tess: It's too late to prepare you for what this is gonna be like, but I have to try Bea: We're the only ones who know what it's like Tess: That ain't gonna stop everyone else having an opinion Bea: I've got about as much interest in them as I usually do Tess: He cares if you don't Tess: and he'll care more living that bullshit day in and day out Bea: then he can dump me Bea: I'm not forcing him to do anything Bea: I don't know why you think that I am Bea: he isn't a baby Tess: It ain't that simple Tess: wanting something doesn't make it easy Tess: and not caring don't mean people can't make it harder, they still can Bea: What is anyone going to do Bea: You can't even do shit Bea: end of Tess: You'll find out if you're determined to Bea: I've told you I'm not stopping Tess: and I've warned you Tess: like you said, end of then Bea: Yep Tess: Do you want that to be your last word before you get in this car? Bea: Do you want an apology? Bea: If so you'll have to be more specific because I'm not apologizing for parts I'm not sorry for Tess: You don't reckon you've got anything to be sorry for Tess: Why would I want an apology you don't mean? Bea: I didn't say that Tess: As good as Bea: I don't want to leave for my benefit Tess: It wouldn't be for any of ours Tess: Not mine, not his and not your sister's Bea: If I wasn't in your care, you wouldn't get any repercussions, any judgment, or any of those opinions you're talking about Tess: I can handle 'em, I already have done long before you moved in Tess: I'm trying to warn you 'cause nobody did me, there's not much they can say I haven't heard Bea: So can I Bea: Words don't do shit to me Tess: If it's only words I'll stop worrying Bea: If anyone calls the social what can they do Bea: you say you discourage it, don't leave us alone, whatever Bea: they've got bigger fish to fry Tess: I don't know what they'll do, that's the point Bea: Nothing Bea: Even if they did take me away, so what, I already said I'll go Tess: None of us want you to, that's what Tess: fuck's sake Bea: So we'll hide it and lie and no one outside the family needs to know Tess: that'll look worse when it comes out Tess: I don't want another kid taken off me, alright Bea: What can I do Tess: You could've come to me, but like you said, it's happened now Bea: No I couldn't Bea: You think you could've talked me out of it Bea: Him, maybe Bea: but you're years too late Tess: I told you, I'm not that stupid Tess: I know what it feels like to not give a fuck about anything but the one person everyone is telling you that you shouldn't Tess: and what the consequences feel like Tess: when those people are right and when they are wrong too Tess: one lad broke my heart and the other never has Bea: That's life, right? Bea: You can't protect them from it, though being a mum is wanting to, I'm sure Tess: Mine, yeah, don't follow in my footsteps any of you Bea: Not my plan Bea: but you've done alright Tess: Good Tess: now maybe Bea: Ask any therapist, your childhood ain't your fault Bea: unless you wanna go there Tess: I ain't been a child for a long time, there's no excuse for me there Bea: You were then Tess: I weren't allowed to be then Tess: that was the problem Tess: So I tried to be an adult, and unsurprisingly fucked that up Tess: Still am and still do Bea: I know what you're trying to say Bea: but it ain't an option for me either Bea: ain't your fault Bea: but it's how it is Tess: I'm trying to say I don't just love Fraze, it's you too Tess: Everything I want for him, I want for you Tess: end of story Bea: This doesn't mean we can't get what we want, and what you want for us Bea: I swear Tess: I wanna believe that, but I'm as far from a 13 year old kid as you can get Bea: Wait and see then Tess: That's all I can do Tess: what you can do is take this kid far away from me while I have a cig and not say a word about it when we get back Bea: Alright Bea: even hold my tongue on how you trust me with your precious youngest now Tess: Keep him where I can see him, like Bea: Within eyeline but away from the second-hand poison, gotcha Tess: It ain't personal, it's just that he's my last go at this Tess: to not entirely fuck up from day 1 Bea: Thank God for the silence rule so I don't have to hear any more of this Tess: I can break it as easy as I made it if you're gonna be that gutted Bea: You're clearly gonna Tess: Leave your reverse psychology outside the car Bea: Only if you leave the woe is me bit Bea: who are you fooling Tess: I want your sympathy as much as I want any of this Tess: It's how it is Tess: You've had what, 6 years, to see for yourself Bea: Then leave it out Bea: like you're not on your way to a sainting Tess: I'm not that close to death, cheers Bea: That you know of Tess: killing me so you can run away with my son is plan B then? Good one Bea: Nope but if you have an aneurysm at the wheel we're all goners Tess: don't flatter yourself that you've made me that angry Tess: the baby did a number on my hormones not you, kid Bea: Then I repeat, quit the bitching Tess: Quit the attitude Bea: 😏 Tess: Yeah, that's what I thought Bea: Where are you Tess: If I honked my horn you'd hear it Tess: do you want me to be your embarrassing Ma? Bea: As if you have any other mode Tess: Don't start lying now Bea: 🤐 Tess: Yeah yeah, get in the car