#but hopefully i can cultivate it into something coherent in the future

[yuuugay]

Would you mind if I asked you about your OC Ner Wanless? I'm a bit curious about what could possibly drive him so far down that Caine would raise his blade at him 🕺🕺🕺 Had he left the Shepherds by then? Did he become a vigilante? Where are the other Shepherds (Blade, Chase, etc.), and if they were still around and not, you know, Dead, had they cut ties with Ner? WHAT WAS HE DOING? 🗣🗣🗣

Staring intensely at your OC. Thinking. Rotating him in my head like a microwave. But a sleepy microwave. Because it's 4am and I fear I'm about to pass out, gnight 😔💔

cringe story blurb incoming

My story is just a lil au add on to shoh :))

This story happens when the whole magic ban by the autarchy is lifted akjdjdhd. Also, in my au, nobody in the Shepherds die ajjsjd i love them all. Ner cut ties with them instead.

The Shepherds were kinda just like a passing phase for Ner

(He knew he wouldn't stay that long, and that he would leave someday. Only for the protection from the autarchy and money). It was mostly a bad choice in his part to not say anything to anyone, except Caine and Blade. To Caine, whom he left a short letter (A letter in which I have already written out kajdjjd) and his weapon too. So he became a sort of vagrant (Wayfarer, traveler ect, ect. He prefers the life of never settling down.)

Along the way, he got himself some sort of curse that forces him to kill to sate the curse's bloodlust. Nobody could lift it because it's so old and archaic. So he starts taking mercenary requests, but I like to think the curse has its periods where it's strongest that he needs to kill more. But mercenary work takes a while. Him being good at psionic magic, he could dig deep inside peoples minds to find their wrongdoings that haven't yet faced consequences. He didn't find a fault in it; it helped him, and it rid the world of someone terrible, regardless whether the killed tried to repent for it or not. So in part, yes he became a vigilante, but to an outsiders pov, he's straight up just a murderer.

Ofc, a random, dangerous Aetherai-Psionic mage killing seemingly innocents periodically would find themselves facing the Shepherds best one day. Which Ner found himself in the unlucky battle between caines team and himself. I would imagine the battle would be Ner holding back while Caine has to begrudgingly admit that his old best friend is a murderer. Ner refuses to explain himself, he thought it was probably too late anyway. He was already a bad guy to everyone. So it was a battle of *Emotional damage* Lots of stuff said, maybe a lot of cuts and cruises and blood spilled.

but the real damage done was to Ner's insides. Cause you know, he ends up dead anyway.

But ofc, this all would be irrelevant if Lena gives us the option to let MC die. I'll probably do that, but it's always nice to have my own interpretation of what could happen.

So yeah, nothing really that crazy. Just something self indulgent I thought of a while back.

#snowthornes #ygblorbos #i forehead kiss caine #while it'd be easier for me to just make ner a really bad boy and starts killing everyone because he can #kansjdajdhd #i want to atleast stay in the vicinity of what i pictured his character to be #its a little flawed yes #but hopefully i can cultivate it into something coherent in the future #its like drawing kajdjdjd #slowly improving how you do things that it could look completely different by the next month

[sambarvadai]

#6: the curious art of crunchtime creativity (2/2): aha

posted on 14 nov 2019

exams happened yesterday, and also i wrote this blog post yesterday, but now it’s all gone and i’m rewriting it. c’est la vie! edit before posting: it is one week later and another exam has happened and now i have more material to write about. c’est la vie pt2!

so. there’s a second type of creativity – calling it creativity isn’t accurate; most would consider it to be going down the rabbit’s hole that is the internet. we’ve all done it before, somehow finding ourselves staring at something in horrified fascination with no clue as to how we ended up there. in my case – or at least, in this context, it is mostly subject-related, specifically to the subject on which i am about to write the exam. (future me: the exam is over) please note: this has only applied to tamil and chinese, the two languages i take (english doesn’t count. you can’t study for english), because those have scopes so wide that they might as well not exist at all. hence, it’s not me, it’s the subject. we move on.

chinese is a lovely, lovely subject ((please forget the fact that my exam is in two days and i’ve barely started studying) <– this exam is now over i hate it) and my love for it came from this book i found when i was starting out. it taught the story of each character by broke it down into radicals and connected these radicals into a coherent plot that told its meaning. that was a long sentence. so this made learning chinese, which is, primarily, a pictoral language, quite manageable.

a tangent here: simplified chinese is harder to understand pictorally as compared to traditional chinese, because in the name of simplification, many radicals have been bastardised to mean completely different things from what they were actually intended to be. for example, the character for listen (听, 聽), as you can see, has been grossly simplified from including the radicals for ear and heart to just including the radical for mouth. kinda sad, isn’t it

anyway back to story so i have amazing friends who kick my ass into studying and will absolutely scream at me for browsing taobao two days before the exam (which i did haha) and it’s great learning chinese in a chinese-speaking country because you have so many somewhat-native-chinese-speakers who will correct your chinese but still encourage you to strive on and not make (too much) fun of you. it’s lovely because my friends have similar pop culture exposure compared to me, so if i drop in a random korean reference or whatnot they get it. it’s really, really great and cool, especially when i want to write fanfic in chinese and they get it B)

speaking of fanfic, i recently discovered twosetviolin (why recently, you ask? i’ve been seeing their thumbnails in my recommended for ages but never clicked; sorry) and i was hooked. so naturally, i turned to fanfiction (idk if i actually ship them but the stories are cute). surprisingly, there was a large amount of chinese fanfiction about them, which led me to lofter (chinese tumblr)! and i learnt so much vocab from that and it was so so fun to read, because it was seeing familiar tropes in a slightly-less-familiar language. i do want to continue learning chinese, so hopefully this will prove to be a good gateway into the language.

the tamil section’s going to be shorter because it’s been a while since the exam, but anyway, i shall try my best.

tamil has been my pride and joy for the last four years, in no small part thanks to my peers and teacher who made me love the language and love myself for inheriting the language. i once regarded tamil as a burden and hated speaking it because of how i stumbled and had a funny accent. now, though, my accent is a lot better, and i speak it much more naturally. it’s still a work in progress, but i love the language so much more and that has translated directly into (or has affected) how i interact with my peers and family. i’m a lot more confident expressing myself in the language, and i like speaking it and making a connection to other people who have chosen the language.

because that’s what it is, isn’t it, you choose a language. you can choose to reject the language you were born with, or you can choose to cultivate it and respect it. you can choose to learn a language that was not yours to begin with, but has grown to become close to you in a different but equally inexplicable manner. you choose the language, and you give it the acknowledgement it rightly deserves.

anyway. the love for the language stayed largely within class, where our teacher showed us ancient tamil poems and translated them for us, showing us that themes of love, kindness, filial piety, and so many more have not changed one bit in the last 2000 years. recently, however, i found oldtamilpoetry.com, in which the blog-writer translates tamil poetry into bite-sized pieces. as i stayed up late reading the archives, i felt the language settling into my bones, draped over me as comfortingly as a childhood blanket. it was reassuring. calming. lovely.

this, i now realise, is just a really long love letter to my languages. these are my languages now, and i’ve made them my own by finding the beauty in them. that beauty was best discovered in the moments before exams, when pressure drives you to look for alternate ways to make learning bearable. this was when i discovered why i actually love the language – and love learning, really. yeah.

i don’t know where i was going with this but YES. tldr, during exam periods, i find how beautiful subjects – languages – are. it’s really cool, and i recommend you do it too. just go down a rabbit hole and find what makes you click. find that pull factor that makes you realise that yeah, this was worth it. this is probably kind of incoherent but hey. hopefully a bit of you resonated with this!

please watch out for part 3. idk when ill post it, but yeah! it’ll be a wrap-up to this academic year, or maybe just exams in particular. important! because i have quite a bit of reflection to do about that too. hope you enjoyed reading this haha thanks for reading so far !!!!!!!!!!! legitimately bless you owo (pls check out twosetviolin theyre amAzing) stay tuned for more !11!1!!

anbudan, noon xoxo

#exams #creativity #thoughts #creative process #words #word #languages #love language #love letter #mine #noonwords