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irwnsrcses · 5 years

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MASSIVE DISCLAIMER: THIS IS ALL BASED ON MY OWN PERSONAL EXPERIENCES AND WHAT I FOUND HELPFUL !!! KTHNXS ✨

hello honey! I just finished my first year at my new uni doing my new degree and I am honestly so happy about the results I am currently getting compared to what I was getting last year. so I decided to write this little post in order to help those who are going into their first year of university/college or those who just wanna change their mindset.

just a very quick story time: last year was my first REAL year at a university and being fresh outta high school, I was extremely excited about studying the subjects I wanted to study and ready to make new friends etc. etc. However, I realised right after semester 1, that I was in way over my head and it most definitely did NOT help that my dumbass was in a horrible mindset and was not mentally mature for university and the social life of university. Due to this, as well as my quick declining interest and motivation to study, I pretty much bombed out and failed my entire first year of university. And when I said I failed my first year, I’m talking I completely failed and I knew I had failed by semester 2 and so I decided not to do my semester 2 final exams cause what’s the point?

that mindset honestly, was one of the worst I have ever been and my anxiety honestly has never been so high and I would not relive those moments ever again. so here are 10 tips and some advice on how to survive your first year of university/college and hopefully you guys will have a better 1st year experience than I did. ♡

TIP #1: GROW OUT OF YOUR HIGH SCHOOL MENTALITY (it will be an ongoing journey even past your first year of uni tbh)

not gonna lie, the second you tell someone that you are 18 years old and that you are in university, everyone suddenly expects you to be an adult and have your shit together and to have suddenly matured out of your high school mentality and that your break between your high school graduation and your first few months at university, you are expected to have mentally matured by like 20 years or some shit. yes, it is strongly advised that you get out of your high school mentality and yes it is strongly advised that you have to grow the fuck up once you get into university.

however, you should not force yourself to grow up. university will most definitely throw things your way that will completely change and shape the person you will just eventually grow to be.

TIP #2: ACTUALLY GO AND ATTEND YOUR UNIS/COLLEGES OPEN DAYS OR INFORMATION DAYS. JUST VISIT YOUR DAMN SCHOOLS.

my ACTUAL first year of uni, I was accepted into one of Australia’s top universities on a scholarship for a double degree course. So you can imagine the amount of pressure and hard work that was needed to be put in for me to even stay at this school. When I got accepted, it wasn’t like I didn’t know that it was going to be hard. But I personally never expected for it to be as hard as it was on me both academically and socially.

At first, I liked my course, but I am personally one of those people who thrive off of whatever environment that I am put into so if I am placed into a uni where the environment is highly toxic and almost everyone is a harsh competing rival, I won’t put in the effort. But if I am in an environment that is much more relaxed and opened, but is still willing to push me to work harder, I will actually try. But some people are able to work in incredibly harsh and competitive environments and are able to handle snobby people, I personally couldn’t at my first university which is why I transferred to the uni I am currently attending.

ABSOLUTELY NO HATE OR SHADE TO MY FIRST UNIVERSITY. IT IS TRULY A GREAT UNI. My sister went to my first uni and she absolutely loved it, but everyone has a different uni experience and sadly, I didn’t enjoy it. So I most definitely recommend researching about the schools you are thinking about attending and it would really benefit you if you personally went to visit the school yourself. If you can see yourself being happy there, if you can see yourself enjoying the environment, if you can genuinely say you like the school, go to that school. Because there is honestly no point on attending a university just for the name and the title and you don’t even like going the damn library that is on campus.

TIP #3: TRY AND STUDY SOMETHING YOU ACTUALLY LIKE

this tip is very hard and I honestly shouldn’t be saying it? But like hear me out. My belief is that if you are studying something you genuinely enjoy, you will actually study for it. Or at least that mentality definitely applies to me. I was studying a Bachelor of Science and a Bachelor of Arts together last year. My majors were Psychology and Economics. AS MUCH AS I LOVED PSYCH, STUDYING ECONOMICS WAS A BITCH.

I personally fucken hated studying Economics and with that, I also had to study Maths as a subject under my science degree, which I also personally hated. No matter how much I tried and listened in my lectures, I could honestly never get the material and it was so disheartening to me that I couldn’t understand. Granted, I was dumb and didn’t check my classes (which I will discuss in my next tip), and I knew that university classes were going to be 100 times harder than the shit I got in high school, but that didn’t escape the fact that it was so disheartening that I wasn’t able to understand the material.

That lead me to slowly and simply not caring about what it was that I was studying and learning. I didn’t care anymore about my degree. I was so unhappy with what I was studying that I would spend more time going out and partying than actually trying to get even a Pass. Nothing wrong with having fun, but I prioritized partying over studying, which is not good.

Now I am doing an Education degree and I am so much happier! I genuinely like studying what I am studying. I even actively listen to my lectures online and take notes as if I was physically attending the lecture myself (and most students don’t even bother listening to online lectures). I even stay back after all of my classes are done to catch up with anything I have missed or get ahead of my classes. I seriously like what I am studying. Sure, I lose motivation from time to time, but I am studying way more now than I did a year ago.

BUT REMEMBER. IT IS OKAY NOT TO KNOW WHAT YOU WANT TO STUDY. THERE ARE KIDS IN THEIR 4TH YEAR WHO STILL DON’T KNOW WHAT THEY WANT TO STUDY. Finding something that genuinely makes you happy and makes you want to work hard for it is hard to find, but it is so worth it once you do. So be smart with what you pick and choose.

TIP #4: CHECK UP AND RESEARCH ABOUT YOUR CLASSES

If you are lucky enough to pick and choose your individual classes, please for the love of god, research about them! look up your classes! read your damn unit guide! do not pick a class cause it sounds cool and fuck yourself over by not reading the prerequisites or not reading the amount of assignments related to that class.

I was dumb and did not read up on my classes nor did I research about them fully my first year. I honestly just read their mini blurb and went off my merry way which fucked me over so bad because I did not personally understand the actual contents of each one of my classes.

literally find your class unit guide or class information online, look into what assignments have been done in the past, what kind of weightings they each have and read the stuff that you are suppose to learn even if you just get a simple Pass in the class. the more you look into a class, the better understanding you will get of what that class actually provides.

also, majority of the time, you can see what textbooks are needed so you can grab them off before the semester even properly starts.

just as a little side tip

TIP #4.5: If you can literally pick and choose what your time table looks like, DO NOT FUCKEN GIVE YOURSELF 3-4 HOUR BREAKS BETWEEN YOUR CLASSES. You are lying to yourself when you say that you are going to be studying in those long ass breaks, like shut up. no. don’t do that to yourself.

TIP #5: DO NOT BUY YOUR TEXTBOOKS (if possible)

for the love of god, DO. NOT. BUY. YOUR. “MANDATORY”. TEXTBOOKS. it is a waste of money. you are blowing $200 minimum for a damn paper weight. I am not even kidding. I never have purchased a textbook and I never will unless that textbook is nowhere else to be found.

Be smart about your textbooks. If you are able to find a copy of your textbook in the library, BORROW THAT SHIT IMMEDIATELY. my university lets us borrow copies of books for like 16 weeks at a time and my semesters last for at least 13, so it is enough to class me throughout all of class. your universities should have multiple copies of whatever textbook that you need for class. even if the library copy is a few editions older, it does not matter, the content is still the same. It is not worth forking out $200-$500 for a couple of extra pages.

If you can’t borrow a copy from the library, try and find it online. There are some generous people out there who have uploaded a free full copy of the book somewhere. If you can’t find it online, borrow a friends copy and photocopy that shit like crazy. You might end up paying like $50 worth of paper but 50 is better than 200.

AND IF YOU SERIOUSLY CANT DO THAT, go onto slugbooks.com to get your textbooks. I personally haven’t used that website myself, but I hear it’s pretty fucken good to get textbooks.

TIP #6: JOIN A CLUB/SOCIETY/FRAT/SORORITY ETC.

for your first year of uni/college, just join something. there is deadset something for everyone. you do not need to join greek life if you personally do not want to. i didn’t join greek life cause australia doesn’t really have that kind of shit.

if you like debating, there is a debating club. if you like drama, 10000% there is a drama club. if you are a strong LGBTQ+ ally or are apart of that group and you wanna meet queer people, 1000000000000% there is a club for that. i’m not even kidding you, at my first university there was a damn memes society and a quidditch society. you will most definitely find something that will interest you.

if you aren’t a big fan of clubs, that is fine. i just would personally recommend joining one so you can make friends more easily and it’s sort of like a little bit away from your studies. it’s something fun for you to enjoy and you get to meet some incredible people along the way. I am apart of VSA (Vietnamese Student Association) and I have done SOOO many things all the way to modelling, charity events, partying and planning out major events etc. all whilst meeting some new people and creating friendships.

TIP #7: LEARN WHAT TO PRIORITISE

I feel like this should be a no brainer but it is important. It is okay to have fun whilst you are at uni but it is not good nor is it smart to throw away a perfectly good education that you are paying hundreds and thousands of dollars for.

if you have a party on Saturday and an essay due on Sunday, do not go to the party. I know that there is some people who pull all nighters to finish off an assignment or to study for an exam, I am extremely guilty of that. However, that does not mean I will sacrifice one extra day of studying for a party.

this is where you have to be an adult and understand how you, yourself study the best and how you retain information the best and if you need an extra couple of days, skip out on some parties and reschedule those lunch dates and dinner dates. your friends will understand and will not judge you for wanting to studying. if your friends do judge you for wanting an education, then you should drop them.

TIP #8: LEARN TO REFERENCE

I cannot stress how important referencing is in university. That shit is an absolute fucken bitch and it does not help that there are like 5 different styles or some shit. But it is important that you learn how to reference correctly because you will lose marks for not doing it correctly and some professors/tutors are just straight assholes and will deduct like 10 marks cause you aren’t using the correct referencing style for the class.

in my experience, for first year anyway, they will teach you how to reference in your tutorials so you get the general gist of what to do and how to do it. I learnt how to reference in APA format in high school, so I am fine, but I know not alot of people learn it that early and first hear about referencing once they get to uni. so learning to reference is a big thing. a lot of my tutors recommended me installing EndNote which does the referencing for you. I personally just let Word do it for me. If you go into your Word and find ‘Document Elements’ (for Mac), click on ‘Manage’ in the References section and a citations list will pop up. Click on the plus sign in the bottom left hand corner and just literally fill out the form and you are done.

OR IF YOU ARE A WINDOWS USER, just go to the ‘References’ tab and click ‘Insert Citation’ and then click ‘Add New Source’ then fill out the form. Then you are literally done. You basically have corrected did in-text citations within your essay along to whatever format is needed. *The only shitty thing about this method is that it will only automatically do in-text citations, not footnoting. Footnoting you will have to insert manually yourself*

After you finished with all of your citations, just click on ‘Bibliography’ and put in in as ‘Works Cited’ and literally your ENTIRE reference list will be organised into alphabetical order for you.

TIP #9: GET A CALENDAR OR DIARY

whether that shit is digital or physical, start using one. it is honestly so helpful to know when you have got assignments and exams coming up and you can kinda start planning out when is a good time to start researching or studying etc. etc.

it seems like such a small thing, but it works so well. I personally just use the iPhone calendars app and make sure it reminds me at least like a week or 2 ahead of the actual due date so I know that it’s coming up.

i also highly recommend that once you read your unit guide/class information sheet, that you write down ALL of your assignments, when they are due and how much do they weigh into your calendar/diary. because then you have no excuse to say that you never knew about it and yet you wrote it down. it also just helps you to be productive and work around/add in other dates like outings with friends into your schedule.

TIP #10: IT IS OKAY TO FAIL

I feel like there is such an extremely high expectation to pass every single one of your class with amazing grades and graduate with like a 4.0 GPA, like for some reason that is the standard that is expected out of every uni/college student, even those attending a really shitty uni is somehow expected to be blitzing through every single one your your classes, but the truth is, you will probably fail a class and that’s okay.

trust me when i say, it is okay to fail a class. i’m not saying that you SHOULD fail a class, but if you do, it’s not the end of the world. even though I failed so many classes last year, my first university was still willing to keep me enrolled and even offered some help. staying in university/college is sort of like baseball, very simple; 3 strikes and you’re out, but even then, they will still offer you services to help you study better or if you are struggling at home or you have your own mental issues that affect your studies, there are services at university/college that will help you and it’s for free.

i cannot stress how important it is to let your university/college know that if you suffer from any sort of mental illness, have a rough background, do not have the resources to study etc. etc., that you should let them know because they can help you.

that is all of the tips and advice that i can think off at the moment. i hope this helped at least one person. if i can think of anything else/more, i’ll be sure to update this post and add it on. or if i am brave enough, maybe just do a full blown youtube video? we will see on that. BUT UNTIL THEN. I HOPE THIS HELPS AND I HOPE YOU ENJOY YOUR FIRST YEAR AT UNI OR THE REST OF YOUR YEAR AT UNI IN GENERAL !!

#cindy talks too much #studyspo #study motivation #advice #university advice #college advice #hopefully this helps somebody out there #AGAIN THIS IS ALL JUST MY PERSONAL EXPERIENCE #studyblr

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mychameleonsix · 5 years

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ILY Chapter 9

The drive home was silent. Sungjin wasn't saying anything, and I was thankful he didn't. I knew he wanted to ask me questions or at least try to comfort me, but no words can take away the ache my heart feels right now. Everything that just happened is all blurry to me. I don't know how I can recover from that. "What time's your flight later?" "Huh? Oh uh...eleven in the morning." "Where are you guys going again?" "Toronto." "It's for tour right?" "Yeah, second to the last leg." "It's already three in the morning, make sure to get some rest when you get back. Thank you for driving me home Sungjin." "It's fine, no need to thank me. I know Jae wouldn't like it if you had to take a cab at this hour." "Still! I know you're tired too; you could be sleeping by now." "I'm okay, don't worry. You, however, are you okay? I know it's a stupid question but..." He said giving me a quick side glance. "I don't know how to answer that question, Sungjin." We fell silent again but Sungjin was fidgeting in his seat. He keeps on looking at me every few seconds, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel. "Just spit it out Sungjin." I finally asked. "You do know it was Jae's birthday yesterday, right?" And I swear, in that moment, I felt everything stop. That single question felt like some car honked at me, jolting me awake. It felt like something hit me and put me back into my senses. Fuck. It was Jae's birthday yesterday. That's why he was so mad about me missing the concert altogether. Heck, I bet he isn't pissed that I missed that. It was because I forgot his birthday. Well shit. "Oh my God." "You forgot didn't you?" "I knew there was something off yesterday. God, I'm so stupid! I mean I knew it was his birthday soon, but I was too busy I forgot it was the same day as your concert." "He was sulking the entire concert. I mean he's his usual self on stage but, you know, from our viewpoint he was really down." "How can I forget that it was his birthday yesterday? Gaah, Sungjin help!" I said looking at him frantically "You were busy, it happens. Don't worry too much; just apologize, I guess? Wait for him to cool down or something?" "When are you coming back from Toronto?" "We're not just going to Toronto though, the entire North America and South American tour will last two weeks. Then we'll probably get an extra five days off right after. So, I don't know, we'll get back after three weeks?" "That's so long! I need to make it up to him soon! I can't wait three weeks Sungjin" "Good luck with that. He loves you Ri, he won't be able to resist you for a long time. Anyway, we're here!" He said parking the car in front of my house. "Thanks Sungjin, get some rest okay? And can you make sure Jae's okay too?" I said as I opened the door, about to get off. "I will." "Text me when you get home." I said as I closed the door and headed inside. *** "So wait, you're going where?" Soohyun asked as she followed me inside my room. "Toronto." "Are you crazy?" "Probably, but I need to do this." "Can't you wait three weeks until they get back?" "I can but I don't want to wait three more weeks. Also, I can go back home to visit mom and dad while I'm already there. Hitting two birds with one stone, ya know?" I said as I pushed her aside to get to my cabinet. "You've really lost it. You're so whipped Ri." She said putting her hands up in defeat, finally giving up reasoning with me. "Soohyun, can you not? I'm tired, I don't have any sleep yet, I haven't eaten anything since yesterday. I'm all doing this on a whim, just please help me fold my clothes." I said handing her shirts and pants. "You have your ticket already?" "Yup, I booked the next flight available. I called Brian earlier and asked him for their flight details." "How'd you get out of your duties at the hospital though?" "I told them there's an emergency back home and I need to go. I'll be gone a week, they can handle post-op by themselves. Besides, Pat's here anyway." "What time's your flight then?" "Uhh, 13:20" "So you're not on the same flight as them?" "Nah, their flight leaves at 11, so you better hurry up with the folding. If I wanna catch up with them and see Jae at the airport I need to leave by seven." I said going in the bathroom getting my toiletries. "Did you tell mom you're going?" "I literally made this decision an hour ago, d'you really think I have the time to call our parents?" "Touché." "Alright, all set! Did I forget anything? I need to leave now." "Passport? Ticket? Your logical reasoning? Cause I think you lost yours when you decided to do this crazy idea." "Shut up. Okay I'm leaving. See you in a week." I left in a cab, luggage in hand, and a whole lot of hope and courage that things will go well today. If I miss Jae before they leave, then I'll just have to catch up with them in Toronto. But nonetheless, I need to fix things with him before I lose him again. We were both at faults the last time; he left when things got a bit tough, and I let him. I won't let history repeat itself, I'm never letting Jae go ever again. * Jae's Pov * "Ready to go boys?" Our manager said, coming into the living room, luggage occupying the entire space. "Brian hyung's just in the bathroom peeing, he said we could go ahead." Wonpil said dragging his suitcase out of his room. Dowoon and Sungjin was already by the door, helping our other manager carry the bags into the van. It's only 7:30 in the morning, I barely had time to sleep last night, and now we're on our way to the airport. I followed Sungjin out and placed my luggage in the trunk and got seated in the very far back of the van. I'm not really in the mood to interact with anyone today. The rest of the boys piled in one after the other a few minutes later, sleep still evident in their eyes. We're all wrapped in jackets and masks, ready to brave another long flight. I can't wait to sleep on the plane; I'm ready to leave my problems here and just face them next time. Last night's fight with Riley took a toll on me. We both said things we didn't mean, I know, but it still hurts. How can she forget my birthday? I get it, she's busy I understand that, but how hard was it to at least update me on her whereabouts. And to at least send me a happy birthday text. Am I in the wrong here? Was I too way out of line with my arguments last night? "A little bit, hyung." I looked over at whose voice it was and saw that Dowoon was beside me. Didn't realize he sat down in the seat next to me. Wait, did I just said that out loud? "Yes hyung, you've been mumbling the whole time. We can all hear you." Dowoon said. "I hate to break it to you, hyung, but your arguments are kinda out of line last night." Wonpil said. "Aren't y'all supposed to be on my side?" I said. "We are, that's why we want to help you understand things from an outsider's perspective." Sungjin said turning in his seat to face me. "Oh please, do tell." I said kinda amused, curious at how their reasoning's gonna go. "Well, first of all, getting upset that Riley missed your birthday was totally acceptable. I understand you with that..." Brian started. "Thank you." I said. "I'm not finished. However, you were claiming that she didn't have enough time for you and that she's prioritizing her career over you, that was a out way out of line for me. We can all see how hard Riley's trying. You, out of all people, should know that." Brian said, Wonpil and Sungjin nodding their heads. "But that's how I'm feeling lately. It's as if she's not even trying to see me. Are you saying I'm not allowed to even feel upset over that?" "No of course not, your feelings are valid hyung. But what we're trying to say here is that maybe you're not seeing things in a bigger picture. Just like what Riley said last night, you're already successful. You've reached your dreams, so technically you don't need to prove anything to anyone. She on the other hand, is still studying; trying to make it big in her field. So of course between the both of you, she'll have less time to exert effort and do things for you." "Exactly. I mean we've seen Riley's fair share of exerting effort. Have you forgotten the times she spends her lunch breaks in the studio with us; bringing us lunch because we're too busy to eat? You do realize that her hospital's in the other side of town. The mere fact that she chooses to spend her lunch with you, with us, instead of taking naps in between her surgeries, is a big effort in itself." Sungjin said. "Okay, fair point. But still doesn't change the fact that she forgot my birthday and missed our concert when she promised she'd go." I said crossing my arms, as I looked out the window. "Then you should've stuck with that argument and let her explain and apologize." Wonpil said reaching out to me from his seat and slapped my hands. "Alright, I'll talk to her when we get back from tour. It'll give us both some time to think things through. We both said things, I need to process everything first. Can we drop it now please, I'm tired." I said before I closed my eyes and turned away from them. They didn't say anything anymore and went about with their own things. The rest of the drive to the airport was quiet, nobody was talking and it was peaceful for a while. When we reached the airport, there are a handful fans waiting for us so of course we had to at least smile and look okay for them. Good thing we're wearing masks, and I was wearing sunglasses. Or else my airport photos would show the bags under my eyes and how red and puffy they are. After we got our luggages checked in and went through immigration, we went inside the lounge to wait for boarding. Wonpil sat beside me, Dowoon and Brian across from us, while Sungjin went with our manager to buy food. "I got you chicken wings, Jae." Our manager said handing me the bag. "Thank you hyung." "So are you really not going to tell her goodbye or something?" Sungjin asked as he sat down beside me and started eating his sandwich. "Really, Sungjin? You're at it again?" "I'm just curious." "I'll just call her before the plane leaves, tell her I'll talk to her when I get back. Happy now?" "Are you guys done eating? We should move closer to our gate now, come on." Our manager said as he stood up to gather us. We followed suit and walked along with our other staff to where our gate was. Brian was standing beside me, a hand on my shoulder; while he was texting on the other. He's been texting someone since we got to the airport. Probably Ken. "Jae!" A voice said. It sounded very familiar but I'm not so sure. It's probably some fan calling my attention. "Jae!" The voice said again. I'm still not looking and just continued walking. It's just our fans, I'm sure of it. "Ya Park Jaehyung!" I stopped dead in my tracks, Brian and the others stopping with me. That voice sounds a whole lot like Riley's. I removed my sunglasses and slowly turned sideways to check where the voice was coming from, scanning the room, frantic to know who it was. I kept on turning, checking everywhere, until my eyes landed on her. Glasses pushed back up in her hair, some yellow hoodie from our high school, and a worn out ripped jeans but she stood out the most in the sea of people. She smiled at me and started walking slowly towards me. Scratch that, she was running. But the way I see it, everything's happening in slow motion. It's like we're filming an airport scene in a cheesy romantic comedy. In fact, I think we're in one. She ran up to me, jumped, and wrapped her hands around my neck, her legs on my waist. I was taken aback by the sudden movement, I almost lost my balance. She was hugging me tightly, it's starting to get harder to breathe. "What are you doing here?" I whispered to her. "Shh, let's just stay like this for a few more seconds." She said in my ear as she kissed my cheeks. I turned around and saw that Brian and Sungjin was grinning like complete idiots, while the rest of my members and staff had smirks on their faces. They knew she was coming. "Ri, come on get down. People are staring." "Let them, I don't care." She said, her grip getting tighter. "What's this all about, why are you here?" "Why are you gonna push me away again?" She said breaking away to look at me. "Well no, but seriously, what are you doing here?" I said as I put her down on her feet. Riley grabbed my face and pulled it closer to hers as she tiptoed to match my height. She kissed the tip of my nose and pinched my cheeks. "Belated Happy Birthday you big dummy. I'm sorry I forgot." Riley said smiling at me. "Thank you." "Also...surprise! I'm going with y'all to Toronto. Well sort of, I'll just be on the next flight." She said as she got her boarding pass from her pocket and showed it to me. "What? How?" I said shocked. "Zero sleep, hungry, stressed, mix that with a very clouded mind Riley plus my impulsivity equals an out of the blue decision to skip work, and follow y'all on tour for a week." "You're going with us for a week?" I'm still surprised at this sudden change of plans but I'm sort of happy now. "Well yes and no. I'll be with you for the Toronto and Minneapolis stops but I'll head home to LA for the last 2 days. I'm already in the US, might as well visit the parents." "Who's idea was this?" I said smirking down at her. "Mine! I told you, I decided this entire trip on a whim. About an hour after Sungjin dropped me off this morning, I called Brian to get your flight details, got my laptop, booked my tickets, packed my bags, and voila...I'm here! I haven't slept, haven't eaten, but I felt I had to do this or else I might lose you again. And I don't want that now do I?" "You're crazy you know that?" "Oh trust me, Soohyun made that very very very clear as she helped me pack my bags. I think this is crazy too, but what the heck right?" She said grinning at me like the complete idiot that she is. "What time's your flight?" "In three hours." She said as she glanced at the watch she's wearing. "What are you gonna do here for three more hours?" "I don't know, sleep? Or eat, I don't know." "Jae come on, we need to go to the gate." Our manager said, interrupting us. "I'll walk with you guys, I have time to spare." She said as she locked her fingers in mine and dragged me along with her as we caught up with the others. "I'm sorry." I said blurting it out, scared I might chicken if I don't say it now. "I'm sorry too, for forgetting your birthday, and missing the concert; and for everything. God, I was too occupied with the surgery that your birthday slipped my mind entirely. I know it's not an excuse, so I'm really sorry about that. Also I should've made sure someone told you I couldn't make it last night, but again, I was too busy and stressed I forgot to update you. That was irresponsible of me. And about the fact that I'm making you feel like I don't want you or that I don't have enough..." She said in a haste, talking so fast I'm barely keeping up with every word. "Riley, it's fine. I've thought things through and I know I was a bit overboard last night. I'm sorry too." "No no, I understand what you mean, and I get it. I get how you would feel that way, I'm sorry if I ever made you feel like you aren't a priority. You are, Jae, always have been." She said as we reached the boarding gate, and sat down on the benches, away from the crowd. Boarding isn't until 10:45 anyway, we have time. "Shhh, no, I understand your situation I really do. I'm not supposed to be a hindrance to your dreams, instead I should support you every step of the way. I'm your best friend for a reason, Riley; and you’re my girlfriend, all the more I should support you. If I won't then who else will?" "I love you, Jae, so so much. Thank you." She said crying into my arms. "I love you too Ri-bear. I'm really sorry I made you cry last night, and today." I said pulling away from her to wipe the tears in her eyes. "God, I'm so tired Jae. I can't feel my legs and I think I'm about to pass out any minute. But seeing you smile again made it all worth it." She said as she ran her hands through my hair, fixing the stray hair falling in my eyes. "Get some sleep on the plane, okay?" "I will, looking forward to it already." "How was your surgery yesterday?" "Successful as always, but let's not talk about the hospital for the time being. So tell me about the concert last night, how was it?" She asked. "Good, can't wait for you to see us live in Toronto. And you'll get to meet Bri's parents too." We have yet to settle our issues with each other, but that's for another time. Right now, what matters is that we made up, and we're together. Riley and I's entire relationship has always been like this, bickering and fighting. But at the end of the day, we apologize for our mistakes and acknowledge our faults. Maybe that's why I fell for her too. She's so strong and brave she's not afraid of showing her humility and lack of pride at times like this. It makes me adore her vulnerability and meekness, which I think, are the best part of her personality.

The boys and I boarded the plane last, not wanting to leave Ri behind just yet. But she pushed me, telling me to go and that she’ll just see me in Toronto. I left home this morning feeling like the world was against me, my heart heavy, full of worries and doubts. But now, a few hours later, I’m leaving for tour with a smile on my face knowing that I’ll get to spend it with Riley. And I wouldn’t want it any other way

#day6 #day6 sungjin #day6 jae #day6 youngk #day6 wonpil #day6 dowoon #park sungjin #park jaehyung #kang younghyun #kim wonpil #yoon dowoon #day6 au #fanfic

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perfectionistincrisis · 7 years

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Longest post ever. Keep Scrolling! Look away!

About my brother leaving. Now there are two sides to it. One is how he is so young & he will move so far away & has to take care of everything. He has to study first of all, which is the main thing. And this in itself is a whole new experience. Starting university & facing all the pressure & tight schedule & deadlines that come with it. And to top that all, he will move to a new country. An entirely new place he has never been to & one which is very very very different from the country where he was born & raised & literally spent entire 18 years of his life in. Now whether this is the lifestyle & culture & religion we are talking about, or just the weather. You name it, & it's something different he has to face. Let's go back to studies. The ‘studies’ part, is totally acceptable! I mean it's his responsibility. No one will or is expected to do it or help him with it. This is totally on him. He has to figure it out himself. If he needs help, he needs to look for it. If he has a problem he needs to find a way out, or deal with it. The idea of having an elder sibling or family to help you with your studies, i believe, is totally absurd when someone is moving to university. At school, it might be ok but when someone is starting uni, cmon, I think it's time to stop already. Let them grow up on their own. You can't be wiping their ass for them their entire life. Not to mention, everyone has their own share of responsibilities, their own affairs to handle. Everyone of us are struggling everyday, to build our futures. And NO. This is not selfish. This is our responsibility towards ourselves. We owe this to ourselves, and no, you are not in any way, supposed to expect anyone to actually help you deal with your responsibilities in life. So with you share of duties, is it really selfish to focus on your affairs & prioritize them? & also what good will you be really doing by helping someone? How much of someone else's responsibilities can you own? There will come a point where you’ll have to leave them on their own except that now you've already spoiled them and they'll be more lost than ever. So yeah, plus i'm not even studying engineering so anyways i couldn't do much or anything at all but even if i could have, i really never liked the whole concept of doing it in ‘uni’. I have such a strong opinion about it seeing my cousins and other people. Meaning, it's not just me randomly thinking about it and commenting but i rather did always have such an opinion about this matter. So yeah that's the only ‘okay’ thing! From now, things are changing. Now, let's talk about the end of everyday! When he comes ‘home’/ dorm room. He doesn't come home to anyone. Whether it is your siblings being lame and stupid, or your parents being in a fight, or some really good day where everyone's happy and laughing - you're not getting any of it. Is anyone bringing you food? Cooking for you exactly what you eat? No. When are you going to bed? No one cares other than you. Who’s making sure you wake up and don't miss class in the morning? Who’s making you breakfast? Filling your water flask? You buy your food if you have time before class. Such a good day, just 3 classes and you're home by 11. Who do you go home to? Yourself. Weekends? .. Nvm But we are only trying to provide the best future for him. And i can NOT disagree to this at all. Not even for a second. Since almost a year, my dad & my mom has thought of everything & every tiny thing that we will need for him. Whether it is the fact that winter clothes are sold in shops during winter and winter in ksa was 6 months ago, so keeping that in mind and shopping for him things which is just too hard to get in the shops right now cause it's totally summer rn over here! Or whether it is something more serious like meeting all the different formalities to apply for a visa. And shopping for him all these months. Making lists of everything he might need. Things like plate, glass, things like rugs, things like brush, toothpaste, things like pillows, bed sheet, things like laundry basket, warm gloves, things like rain coat. Like you name it, and it somehow is something he actually needs. Also, we are so concerned about providing him the best. I think all my life, a part of shopping included looking at the price tag and seeing if its a good bargain. But now, suddenly thats not done anymore. Anything he touches (which is very little btw) & anything we choose for him (which is like every single thing we see), its just getting the best for him. Its like theres this thing in our heads. Like this is it. My brother hardly gets anything for himself. He is kind of different. So we are just getting him all these stuff because once he goes there, he might not get it for himself. And even if he does, us getting something for him now will be the last time we are doing so. Cause from now on he'll do his stuff himself. So like i was saying. We are only trying to provide the best future for him. And i can NOT disagree to this at all. Not even for a second. And this is a stage that comes in everyone's life & we can not and should not run from it. This is the right thing to do in my brother’s case. Everything till now has gone so smoothly Alhamdulillah. But it still doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. Especially when i think of my mom. I get the whole idea of how it's the hardest on the moms. In fact i have even witnessed many moms crying & breaking when their kids had to leave and all. But. This is different. I am talking about ‘my mom’. I respect all mother’s love, i do. But about my mom; unless you live under the same roof as her, you will find it impossible to believe how much of her heart & soul & energy she invests on our family. For which, I will be forever grateful & will consider myself blessed. I will never be able to start and finish talking about her but let me mention some interesting stuff! Let's start with me! So im 21. And i don't do my laundry (none of it at all), i don't vacuum (the house or even just my room), I don't iron my clothes (never did), I don't clean the dishes (not even my own plate or glass or water flask), I don't clean my room (the furnitures & stuff) & interestingly, i don't even know how to make tea or coffee (unless it's those sachets you get, but i just use them at uni). TADA - Mom does all of that for me. I don't remember the last time i did ‘any’ of the things i mentioned. I can't say i never did any of them though, but it was only for one of the 2 reasons: 1. I was younger and mom got angry with me maybe & she’d punish me by making me do it OR 2. I voluntarily offered maybe cause it was vacation and i wasn't lazy & stuff (btw this vacation, i'm totally lazy, i never offered or did anything) So like i said, i don't remember the last time i did any of it. Infact, to TOP ALL THAT, mom makes sure of all my ‘excess’ needs too. She pays so much importance to them. Like, my diet. Diet - meaning the food i eat. Now regardless of whether im trying to lose weight or not, i totally dont like asian food, more specifically, all the daily food cooked in a bengali household. I dont like ‘curries’. I prefer ‘dry’ food. It doesnt matter what it is. Chicken, beef or veggie. If its a ‘curry’, im not putting it in my mouth. Curry meaning the whole making it liquidy with all masala & stuff. And i ‘especially’ hate chicken curry. I also dont honestly remember the last time i ate it. And i am NOT exaggerating but i stopped eating it like way back in grade 11 or 12. By chicken curry, i mean the MOST REGULAR meal in almost every bengali household, more like an EVERYDAY meal especially for the kids. And it works for my bros too lol. But no way on hell im eating it. The reason is, this is one food ive been eating since i learned to ear and then after around a pretty 13 to 14 years of eating chicken curry i had to say NO one fine day xD xD Ok now i have 2 phases: one is the normal daily phase where unis going on and i'm stressed and all i eat is junk food, or maybe something not junk but has to be all delicious or maybe sometimes i'll consider eating healthy and want some classy salad and stuff. Mom always has to prepare a different meal or me. Then she has to prepare something else for her and dad too cause chicken is kids stuff and also mom does not eat chicken at all if she is the one who cooked it so yeah. And then there's chicken for my bros xD On top of that, when im in the other phase where im trying to lose weight - Oh god. The whole menu of food changes. All green veggies and salads and stuff. All grilled chicken, grilled fish, grilled beef. She does all of that. Also. she THEN ‘decorates’ my food cause she knows i love taking pictures of my food. She decorates my food. She makes sure I like the plate on which she is serving the food; whether the plate will look good in the picture. She makes sure I get to take a perfect picture. If she gets confused about how to decorate something, she'll tell me to do it and ask me what i need. I mean man, who does that to a 21 year old???? I know i am spoiled! Now ^ i got carried away! All that is a small gesture of what my mom does for ‘me’. And i'm like her eldest kid. Like she actually thinks i can take care of myself ‘more than my brothers can’ Yeah do you see where i'm going with this? You can not imagine HOW much more she does for my bros, like ‘woahhhh’👌 I’ll just give one example for each bro. My elder bro - he never actually had to open his closet and decide on which dress to wear till now in his life!!!!! Yesss!!!!! Mom even takes out his clothes. Clothes. Every garment :):):) and keeps it ready for him to wear every time he showers, or changes, or goes outside :) and that's the one who’s already 18 and moving soon! And my younger bro - well he is kinda different. Like he is all concerned about his looks and he demands on choosing his own clothes from his closet and wearing them xD xD but then mom still feeds him lunch and dinner most of the day and he is almost 14 :):):) So yes. Idk how my mom is going to handle it. But what i know is that she is such a brave and strong and intelligent and amazing woman mashAllah. She is so hard-working & she puts aside all her sickness and pain & prioritises our needs, and our wants, even if theyre really stupid. And she means the world to me. And she is my number 1 person. And I can give up anything for her. Words cannot express how much she means to me. I once had to stay a night away from her during the 1st week of my uni in 1st year of med school. That was the night I actually realized how important she was to me. I was away from her and due to some circumstance I couldn't communicate with her. That whole night, i lied in bed crying & asking Allah to let me meet my mom in my dreams as I fall asleep now… Idk if I ever told that to anyone before, but yeah here it is. Ahhhh. God!!!!! Such a huge post wth man )@+%;’!(%)#!%(£))@!%!%) but Ughhhh I just needed to get it all out of my system! Hmphhh

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ajournalformybrother · 4 years

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Chapter 1

Chapter 1 The light starts to subside. I open my eyes, only to find myself in a place of white and coldness - snow. My army boots dig lightly in the ground as I take a few steps forward. A high-pitched sound emanates behind me. Glancing, I realize the portal I used to get here closes with a final dazzle of light, leaving only the husk of its stone archway. No turning back now. It's cold. I'll freeze to death if I don't find shelter soon. Night is coming, I can tell, as the humongous moon I see above is currently beckoning the darkness to battle its radiance. Or is it? It is still bright, but not much. The sun is there, belittled by its sister on the other side of the sky. How weird. Majority of my supplies did not make it through. Just me, my clothes, the knife attached to my left boot, and the electroshock batons sheathed in my belt. How I wish my Rubik’s Cube made it through. I will miss it a lot. Unfortunately, these plain, black t-shirt and fatigues don't offer much warmth. I need to keep moving. I follow the snowy path in front of the archway, making sure that I keep my distance from the road to avoid any unwanted situation. My clothes’ color is against the snow, and I could only try to hide behind the trunks of these gigantic pine-like trees to avert myself completely from view. My right hand is slowly getting numb. If not for the years of training my lungs would freeze and eventually lose their purpose, too. I rest under the branches of a 'pine tree', hidden by its bulky trunk as wide as three people. My body is breaking bit by bit. I should have prepared better. But how? No one back there knew what lied beyond. People were sent, but no one returned. At first, many were trained; from childhood, that is, until the age when they are capable of handling their own. Apparently, only one person can fit through a portal, and only every two years can a portal be opened, so it's only the best of the best. For almost a decade they've been sending 'prodigies', not knowing what will happen to them or what the real purpose of the mission is. They are just told that "It's a different world," and I couldn't agree more, for I am the fourth prodigy. The fourth prodigy of a suicide mission with a one-way ticket, maybe. No. I need to survive. I've been doing that all my life, it's no different now. I’m watching the mists blow out of my mouth when I hear the sound of wheels turning, like that of a cart. I stand alert as ever despite the cold that will soon embrace me to death. The conversation is coming from the other side where the road curves on a snowy hill. I dash towards the tree nearest to the hill, pushing myself between the trunk and a large rock. Who knows what kind of creatures live in such place? "Is this where Hearthglen's Portal stood?" a voice of a man says. I'm surprised. There are people coming, and they speak my language. Half of me wants to reveal myself and ask for help, the other half pledges to do what I’m trained to do. The sounds of the wheels are louder now, almost in front of me. "You got that right," another man says. "It was built off-road, so if you want to see it we will .." "What? Leave our wagon here and risk it to wandering bandits?" the other intervenes. "We are a few miles away from the nearest town, scum! We need to deliver this or else we'll lose our jobs. No daddly-waddling." A low, bellowing laughter. "You are always overreacting, Dern. Bandits? Here in Lunasia?" This is it. They are close enough. I can still move my left hand. It's now or never. I leap from my hiding place and catch the two men in surprise. They yell in fear, and I almost, too, upon seeing their long, pointed ears, but I stick to the thing that needs to be done. I dash towards the one pulling the wooden cart and deliver a swift blow from my shock batons. A low grunt while electrified and he's down. Before the other man could react, I quickly shift my footing to strike his chest, electrifying and sending him kissing the ground. He's twitching. And there I stand between two unconscious bodies which I stare at for a moment. They are not ..human. Seemingly. Slender and a little taller, their faces are far beautiful for a man. Their ears are long and pointed, which almost caught me off guard if not for my conviction to steal to survive. Basing on what I read back in our world, these are Elves. The same Elves in movies, fairy tales, and books which everyone would think are parts of fantasy written for stories and entertainment. I figure that's no fantasy now. A sudden, cold breeze wakes me up to my senses. I grab the cloak of the first Elf. It is made of some sort of thick, white wool which I immediately wear and cherish along with the warmth it provides. I dart my eyes towards their wooden wagon. Its cargo is covered in a thick sheet of grey silk. I pull it and smirk at what I see - more cloaks, tunics, winter gloves, leather boots, weapons, bags, and other travel necessities all lined meticulously. Fashion here seems to be inclined in the Middle Ages. Plus, looking at these guys, I guess they are merchants. Lucky. Too lucky for me. I rummage at the set of clothing and grab my own - a woolen hooded cloak outlined in grey I tied in front of my neck, a fading white tunic I wear over my black t-shirt, and black silk pants I wear over my fatigues. Yes, I'll keep my original clothes with me, aside from my army boots, which I bury deep in the snow and are replaced with another black leather pair which gives more insulation. Dressing up like these Elves would increase my chances of not being discovered. I keep my hood on, though. I don't have long ears, which might break my disguise if ever sticky situations come to happen. Seeing a sword hidden in its grey sheath designed with feather markings, I quietly snicker as I put it near the girdle, just beside my batons. I made sure they are hidden underneath my cloak. I continue rummaging through the contents. No guns, huh? Good thing I trained in melee, too. Before I leave, I pull the Elves near their wagon, much to the protest of my arms. They won't freeze there, as I half-buried them in the things they sell. I at least owe them that much not to let them die in the snow. They'll wake up soon. I just hope they won't recognize or remember me when they do. I face the direction the merchants were supposed to traverse. More than a mile? I'll take my chances and head to the town they mentioned. If I would live my life here scavenging or ambushing people to survive, then so be it. I was taught to be unforgiving; to prioritize my own whatever the situation is. But still, I wasn't born that way. I pick up the silken sheet of the wagon and cover the cart along with the merchants. Sighing a deep breath, I continue through the snow. The road is seemingly endless, and it's getting dark. I've been walking for an hour or two. I really am grateful for being the luckiest person alive to encounter wandering merchants in harsh weather. I've passed through hundreds of these 'pine trees' already, and they are getting creepier. The ones around me now seldom have leaves, making them appear like tall, bald Christmas trees. The snow also starts to subside. I'm getting hungry. All the trees I've seen so far look the same; they have no fruits or anything. I tried to catch one critter in the snow which looked like a white rabbit with four tails, but it sprinted as fast as lightning the moment I took a step towards it. I then laughed at that decision. I can't cook anything in this weather, so catching meat is pointless unless I want to eat it raw. The only idea I think of is to steal until I figure out things on my own. I am treading carefully when I see lights in front of me. They are lanterns. I count three, slowly getting closer every second. I quickly move off the road and hide behind the trunk of one tree, with my head the only thing visible from the pavement. I want to see. This is getting repetitive. If I could catch these people off guard like the merchants I could scavenge for food or anything edible just to fill my empty stomach. I just need to wait for another opportunity to strike. The lights are about a block away now. The people carrying the lanterns are wearing the same kind of clothing as I do, but without their hoods on. A little closer, and my eyes are struck with shock as I stare at the passersby: three women carrying nothing but small leather bags hanging beside their waists. All have long hair, and what protrude from their upper heads surprise me as much as seeing the long pointed ears of Elves. The women have large cat ears. They stop parallel to where I am, and this allows me to notice their tails that waggle in the air like furry snakes. They are half-cats, no doubt. Elves are not the only ones living here then. "Come out, dear. We've seen you," says a playful voice of one woman as she turns her head towards the tree where I am hiding. I gulp at my situation. I pull my head back and start thinking. Or rather, start panicking. If they see me they would know I am different, and I can't figure what would happen after that. I can't just run. That would raise more suspicion. Taking a deep breath, I decide to come out of hiding, making sure I have my hood on. "I-I'm lost. Could you help me find my way to town?" I slowly walk towards them, studying their faces further. The ears of the woman in the middle flick as she raises her eyebrows. She then points at the direction they came from. "Town's right there. Just a short way after the curve," she says, her striped, beige tail suspended in the air. "Quite rare for someone to travel alone, especially during these times." I notice that the woman with a black tail to my right is looking at me intently, as if she had seen through my cloak and hood. "You smell different, and new," she claims, much to my surprise. "Can you remove your hood?" Knowing that my cover would be blown soon, I suddenly have the urge to fight, but considering that these cat women have keen sight and smell, I know that they have something more to their advantage. Mine was the surprise attack, and I lost it as soon as I saw their lanterns coming towards me. I have no choice but to oblige. I slowly pull my hood down and expect gasps or any aggressive reaction coming from the three cat women, but they seem aloof. "Oh, a Dryad. No wonder you smell different," the beige one says. "What brings you here?" "Stop the chatter," the woman with white ears and tail intervenes. "Move your feet. The carriages are still far." After rolling her eyes, 'beige tail' waves her hand and continues walking with her companions. Good thing they are in a hurry. Hearing my stomach grumble, I walk towards the curved path. A couple of minutes more and I notice the snowy ground fading to light brown dirt. There are small patches of green grass sprouting on the soil, which make me feel warm after realising that the sleets already stop falling. The bald pine trees are still there, though, but I see a few ones with wide, brown trunks and fresh, light green leaves. The environment is starting to shift, it seems, as I figure I'm traveling away from the snowy region. I continue to walk, careful to stay away from the road. Wouldn't want another encounter with this place's peculiar inhabitants again. After a while, looking a distance away, houses made of wood, bricks, and what appears to be thatch greet me from both sides. They come in different shapes and sizes; the ones nearest to me are small and have only a single story, while there are very few with second floors and such. I shy away towards a hill and hide behind a tree, peeking at what seems to be a small town. From where I am, I see some of the houses circling a tall monolith wrapped in thick, grey vines with blood-tainted leaves. The sight of it gives me chills. The road goes beyond that, covered by a wide bungalow which looks like a town hall of some sort. Oil lanterns hang on numerous wooden posts scattered throughout the town, providing enough light to push away the impending night. Everything follows a Medieval theme, and as I hold onto the sword sheathed to my belt, I can't help but wonder if I traveled back in time or not. Aside from the crimson monolith, another thing that makes me shiver in both awe and shock are the townspeople. No one looks human to me. Absolutely no one. I can sight the occasional Elves, the ones with cat ears, and a few short, composed men with long beards that stand a little below an average person's chest. Dwarves, it seems. Which makes me wonder ..what kind of world is this? There are too many varieties of mankind compared to ours, which is divided only by ethnicity. I feel my soul tremble as I realise I might be the only Human to exist here. Still, watching the townspeople do all sorts of things; trading, eating, talking, laughing; things that you'll see in a typical town, makes me think that somehow, a bit of this craziness is normal. Taking a deep breath and exhaling it in a long burst of white mist, I begin studying the pathways of the small town. The main entrance is connected to the road where I came from, and it goes to the center where the monolith is. From there it branches to at least three more roads, two on opposing sides and one going through the town hall, which I figure extends farther, though I'm not sure how far. I can't determine the exact size of this town unless I climb a tree - a thought I shake off. Still, there's no higher ground than the hill I'm standing on, so I decide I need to get closer. My eyes then dart to the numerous alleyways between the houses. Those would be perfect spots to hide while I learn how things work here. If I'll be lucky again I can steal a thing or two from a passerby. I just need to be really careful not to draw attention to myself or else I'm better off as a boy frozen to death in the snow. "Help! Somebody!" A girl's voice. A young girl, east. Keeping my hood on, I sprint towards the sound, which came farther from the town. Passing through the shadows of the creepy trees, I arrive at a small lake surrounded by fruit-bearing shrubs with white leaves. A couple of lanterns hung on the branches, providing light around the area. As I hide again behind a tree, for the 'nth time' since I came here, I see a young Elf trembling, a fallen straw basket turned upside down lying near her feet. She has short, blond hair and wears a moss green cloak over her brown tunic. Berries of some sort are scattered on the ground, and as I look at them I notice that the girl's right foot is trapped between a raised part of the snow-faded soil, as if it magically came to life and clamped her limb in it. "Help! Please, somebody!" She begins to cry. I'm about to approach her when two figures leap from the branches of the tree parallel to where I am. For the 'nth time' again I am shocked of what I see: they look like Elves, but with grey skin and dark eyes. They seem to be the darker version, I suppose. Both are men and are carrying swords curved like fish hooks. They are wearing leather vests with buttons in the middle as opposed to wool, which the townspeople (and me) possess. "Ohooo-hoo. A fresh kill," says the one with dark hair reaching his shoulders. I can't help but to cringe at his shaky voice. "What do you have there, little Elf? Wandered too far from town?" "Please please. Let me go. I was just picking berries," begs the girl, trying to pull her foot away from the clamped soil using her hands. "You grow those berries yourself, don't you?" says the other dark Elf with a pointed chin. "We could've used someone like you." "No, please no." The young girl’s tears bathe her face now, a sign of her dread and nervousness. The two dark Elves walk towards the trapped Elf, laughing and swinging their hook swords wildly in the air to further scare her. As soon as they are a couple steps away from the panicking girl, I jump out of my hiding place and quickly unsheathe my batons, electrifying the long-haired one as soon as I reach them by surprise. A loud grunt is heard as the other dark Elf tumbles away from me. His companion lies knocked out on the snow-faded ground. "Vus servor!" the remaining dark Elf yells. He then stomps the soil with his boot, creating a small fissure that crawls towards me. I figure that whatever magical ability this is, it might be the same one that trapped the girl behind me. As soon as the crawling cracks are a couple of meters away, I gather my momentum and strike my sword to the ground, using it as a leverage to strike the dark Elf with my baton. I hit his chest, and we both fall to the ground with a hard thud. I immediately rise and walk towards my sword, which is now clamped between the solid soil. I try to pull it with all my might, but my young arms won’t let me, so I just leave it be. I then face the coughing dark Elf lying on the ground. He’s still shaking. He's groaning. When I'm a foot away from him, he looks at me with his light eyes. My hood doesn't cover my face anymore, it seems, as he appears shocked as he sees what I am. Or is it because he fears for his life? Nevertheless, I ready my batons and strike him on his chest. He yells in pain and lies with his back on the soil. He then passes out, his mouth still wide open. I walk towards the young Elf, who's trembling in fear. Her hazel-brown eyes are shaking as I approach her with my hands and clothes dusty and bruised. Halfway, I suddenly feel a burning pain on the left side of my body - my stomach. I look at it, only to see a horizontal wound that tears through the cloth, revealing my bleeding flesh seemingly covered in what seems to be dirty ash. I must have been slashed when I leaped at that dark Elf. I feel weakened, and my head starts to spin. I try to stand using my weapon as support, but slowly, my body turns heavier than it should be. I reach the young girl when I feel a sudden explosion inside my head. My eyes become the heaviest things, and I can only hear my body hit the ground as darkness takes the whole of me .. -End of Chapter 1: Arrival

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