#but i feel bad bcos i see so many ppl like This Is The Best Anime Ever and i just like. dont get it | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

twochildreninamoteldemo · 1 year

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Do you also sometimes feel discouraged or bad abt your ff when it doesn't get as many kudos or comments compared to other fics? I'm trying not to let it discourage me especially bcos ik there's ppl who do love it from the few who do comment, but ngl it's making me want to delete everything and stop trying. Ik I should write for me and I do, but it still feels bad knowing ppl don't see my ff as comment or kudo "worthy". Sorry for sounding pitiful, but do you have any advice on getting over this feeling? :(

I do; i think it's really hard not to, especially since we live in a world now where so much of our worth is defined by attention via numbers (social media). And I don't just mean in a "everyone wants to be an influencer or be popular" way, but that's literally how authors market their books now, it's how indie music artists can get big...anything creative in the publishing world depends on this type of marketability. and in turn that marketability, obstensibily, defines our worth.

so it's hard not to take these assumptions of a creative trying to make a living in the real world into fandom. even if you don't create for a living, seeing how authors have to grovel on booktok is a little disheartening, and even more embarrassing when i realize i do it on tumblr for my fic. I'm thinking of this one long fic i've written that has gotten many in-depth comments from the people who've read it and loved it, but at the same time, disproportionate kudos, and it does make you question your skill, even if that doesn't make any sense. One thing you have to remember is that people click on fics all the time and mark them for later--this is especially true for longer fics, or fics of darker subject matter that someone might need to be in the right headspace for. And keep in mind that kudos are public--someone might not want to have their username plastered to a fic with questionable content lol (to that, i encourage people to log out and give a guest kudos instead, if possible!).

with all these things I sometimes feel like I'm trying to rationalize, but what it ultimately comes down to is that there's fic that's going to be something everyone wants to read, and there's fic that's not everyone's jam. being in the spn fandom--especially wincest--i know that while the unhinged fans will remain for many more years, it's no longer a fandom at its peak, and i'm more likely to receive curiosity hits than actual people who will read and kudos it. none of that is an indication of how good a writer you are. And beyond that, fandom is anti-capitalist, and thinking of it in terms of the "marketability" I mentioned earlier or even just "popularity" undermines the point. So while it's difficult not to, I try to ignore the numbers as best I can, and all I can do is encourage people to comment, because it truly is quality over quantity. a good comment can make a person's whole week.

much love to u anon, and please don't ever delete your work! <3

#ao3 #fanfic meta #comment on fic #fanfic stats #letters #anon

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cocona · 4 years

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anyway im back here again cos apparently idk what a diary is nor what a private acc is n i dnt want a character limit to say whats on my chest so.

i feel guilty for trying to take my life bcos dealing with the aftermath is a hassle n now my parents have to pay disgusting amounts of money bcos i decided to get shitfaced w porto n xanax at 8am before class n fainted on the bus n almost smashed my skull here n there. n bcos im gross like that the dizziness made me feel so good it was enjoyable to sit on the floor waiting for an ambulance. when they asked me what had happened to me, i was so dazed i started crying n then said i had taken a lot of pills ! which i had. but i didnt mention the alcohol cos i hadnt taken enough for it to be noticeable. barely three gulps. im not even a heavy drinker or whatever n at that point i rlly just wanted to faint or die or sth in between n i didnt achieve any of those. i just rlly . existed n floated until i got admitted in the hospital n put on these robes and started crying a lot cos it all fell on my head. i’d be living monitored. i’d be living. and also, now my parents had to deal with me going to the hospital for the second time in less than a week cos i cant keep my hands off prescription pills. the therapists there kept saying i was banalising it too much n that trying to kill yourself isnt light. but ik that and it’s not because they tell me that i’ll feel any less numb. idc ! hm . idk why im writing this. because im idealising abt passing away again and i feel the need to say it somewhere. the semester is starting in three weeks and id like to be positive about it n hope for the best n start living like a normal college student but already i feel waves of heat all over n my palms are sweating n im starting to feel what i see and see what i feel. it’s so bad . weird ass symptoms i cant explain but that are due to anxiety n dissociation n their weird crossovers. it’s seven in the morning and i havent slept all day. i could easily stay awake until i complete a 24h shift and then clock out for five days. the only reason why i dont try anything dangerous is because i dont want my parents to feel like i cant be trusted just bcos i have wild tendencies. lately ive been afraid of becoming addicted to things because i keep watching things abt them. id never smoke to the point where id be a stoner and id never become an mdma addict but it seems that any form of escape would soothe me greatly. i take engagements that lead nowhere. the director of uni said that he felt like i wasnt there seriously. i am not indeed. i am but a soul trying to leave bcos it’s too much. im tired as hell and i dnt even want to wait for a walk in to take over, i just want to end it all. but at the same time i accepted to go back this semester so my parents wouldnt worry, so i wouldnt be bored, and so tht if i was supposed to meet my soulmate @ uni i dnt miss them. these are laughable reasons but theyre reasons nonetheless. everyone has their ways of coping and finding motivation i suppose. i feel embarrassed to write things for everyone to see but i think only i will be reading this later. listening to sad songs does help to get in a certain headspace. i dont want to sleep because then i wont have these songs. im scared of losing everything else but what i want to lose. i wish i had a valid reason to take time off without having to pay back my scholarship and without feeling like im wasting the resources of medical institutions and professionals. bcos what is there about me. what even is wrong with me. why do i feel so bad ! why do i feel so bad, nothing has ever happened to me and yet i feel stressed and sad n like trash and i want to die but also i have massive ego boosts n im embarrassed n blush a lot . why am i like this. these days ive been asking myself if it’s normal to be still single when ure a wlw n ure 17 but i suppose that since we’re repressed it’s normal. i suppose that since the first girls i ever kissed were my sister then my best friend it’s normal id feel gross about my sexuality. i suppose that after men liberally rubbing their hands on my thighs n boys making fun of my misshaped body through all of my school years it’s only normal that id hate my body. disgust is a common theme, alongside disease and vomiting. things like that. i wish i had a clear image of my duty and role here. all i feel is pain. what am i even here for. i feel like i broke so many rules and that in a sense i cant be saved anyway. i just want to feel loved and useful and like i fit in for once. im tired of saying i like being alone because im too anxious to open up and too timid and used to being talked to first that idk when to stop talking and when i reveal information abt me thats not normal to be revealed in regular human interactions. i want to keep living so that there will be a book with my name with hundreds of unsent letters. perhaps ppl will relate to this later as well. heartache is normal. but why dont i get any precise diagnosis and why am i still doing so bad even after all this time... im tired of being angry and embarrassed and sad and aggressive and disgusted n feeling worthless and useless... give me a purpose.... or give me the tools to leave calmly and quietly... with no loud movements !

#general tw ig #dnt rb #uhm tw suicide anxiety depression hospitals medication drugs alcohol school assault #ig #idk i forgot how to tag tws

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myseoul17-blog · 6 years

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Thurs. Oct. 5th @ 10:05am.

I was close to 1.5 hrs ahead of my schedule bcos of the temporary holiday closure of the Yonsei University Museum. Meanwhile I don’t “time” my trip precisely, I have a good idea about where I should be at what time bcos I plan around my meals. For most non-food things, I look at the operating hrs (specifically museums) & everything else, I fill in by “area”, or ease of access via subway. That’s how I plan my trips & it works great for me! Regarding museums, if possible, I like to go 1st thing in the morning to avoid crowds.

Anyways, after the Yonsei Univ. walk, I came back to the main Sinchon street, & noticed that at 10:00am, most stores were still closed, & the street was still pretty quiet, with hardly any ppl. So I decided to stop at Hollys Coffee for a morning coffee. 1st time going into a multi-level franchise café!

The view on my right after I entered the café. There was a poster of their latest item, & to its left, there was a small shelf/display area with their merch & coffee beans for purchase.

The “morning set” & “all day brunch” caught my attention haha The morning set, which lasts from 7-11am, consisting of a pastry & regular coffee (pastry or bagel according to the photo), costs 5000w. That is equivalent to approx. $6CAD. They have refill service & bring-your-own-cup discount as well.

Muffins on top (3300w each, ~$3.90CAD) & cakes on the bottom, prices ranging from 5300-5800w (<$6.50CAD).

Mascarpone tiramisu // cookies & cheese.

There have 1 poster for pretty much each type of drink they serve.

#1. Expresso (Americano, mocha, latte, cappuccino, plus a few of their specialty expresso drinks). 3600-5900w for regular size, 4100-6400w for grande.

#2 top. Brewed coffee. Tea lattes are under this category; they were the priciest items 5900w reg./6400w grande.

#2 bottom. Latte chocolate. Sweet potato latte what?!?! I didn’t try it bcos I don’t prefer lattes all that much. But sweet potato latte is interesting!

[middle: picture of their “fraps”, aka Hollyccinos]

#3 Hollyccinos. I love menu reading at places for many reasons, such as inspiration for my own cooking experiments, pure interest & curiosity, & allows me to compare among different places. Here, they have strawberry & double berry cheese cake Hollyccino :O I wonder what that is. .. Their fruity concoctions are also under this category - the one that caught my eye was the yuzu crush. A close 2nd was the smoothie of the day consisting of beet, apple, & ginger (omg I would not want to try that at all).

#4 Sparkling & tea. This menu contained sodas & hot/iced teas of all sorts. While yuzu is a popular flavour here (& all of East Asia) that frequents café menus, they have western teas as well, such as peppermint tea & the classic earl grey.

However, my heart belongs to Americano. Black Americano (hot or cold).

I went with the iced version. It was ok; I don’t really know how to grade/rate Americanos. From personal experience, I’ve tried ones that were bitter & others that were less bitter & more on the sour side - I prefer the strong, dark, bitter type. I wouldn’t say this one here was of this nature but it wasn’t bad.

I sat for a bit, charging my phone at the same time, on the main floor by the window. Then before I left, I went upstairs to the 2nd & 3rd floor to see what it was like. The observation of these books made me realize how different the coffeeshop culture is in Korea vs Edmonton (or most of Canada, I want to say).

In Edmonton (/Canada), generally speaking, coffeeshops are places for a social gathering, whether it’s a small group, a date, or a bff catch-up session. Most ppl are not by themselves. If you randomly walk into a coffeeshop in Edmonton, you’ll find that it’s very disproportionate; there are wayyyy more tables/seats with pairs or groups of ppl compared to ones with a single customer.

In Korea, it’s the opposite! “Support” might not be the best word but I definitely notice that there are many things inside eateries & coffeeshops (esp the latter) that are tailored towards individual customers. The more time I spend in Korea, the more I appreciate this gesture & culture. It’s not an uncommon sight in coffeeshops where individuals take up a whole 4-person table simply for reading a book, or doing tasks on an electronic device. For me, it almost feels welcoming bcos I’m also by myself. I like the fact that there are so many ppl like myself in the same setting, sharing the same space! Mind you, this place was obviously not busy but I’ve been to ones where each table was occupied & some were occupied by a single customer. I don’t “feel bad” for occupying a table for 4 by myself, even though there are more than enough empty tables around. In Edmonton, I try to pick the best smallest table as possible bcos I feel I shouldn’t “take up space”. The atmosphere is just so different. I think that if I had traveled with someone, I wouldn’t notice these acute observations & reflect on them.

That being said, coffee culture in Korea is huge, & groups of ppl obviously visit cafes as well. It’s just that the ratio of groups vs individual customers vary widely, whereas in Edmonton, I find that it’s mostly groups.

This is the 3rd floor. On every floor, there is a small “return” station that also includes a garbage, napkins, a short stack of paper cups, & cold water jug.

Advertisement posters can be found in various areas inside the coffeeshop.

Poor quality photo, but also on the 3rd floor - there was a long counter/bar counter with bar stools that allows customers to look down/across the street. Perfect for those who likes to look outside, see the sun, rain or snow :)

#travel #Seoul #Korea #Sinchon #morning coffee #coffee #Hollys coffee #Americano #coffeeshop #cafe

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itsgideon-garth · 6 years

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[ GIDEON GARTH (DAVINA CLAIRE’S FATHER)] WHO IS THE SPITTING IMAGE OF [ VIGGO MORTENSEN ] SEEMS TO HAVE GRACED NEW ORLEANS WITH THEIR PRESENCE. THEY ARE A [ 41/61 ] YEAR OLD [WITCH ]. IT IS KNOWN THAT THEY ARE [ BRAVE & RESOURCEFUL ] BUT ARE ALSO [ CLOSED OFF & SELF-SACRIFICING ]. WORD AROUND TOWN IS THAT THEY [ ARE NOT ] WORKING WITH THE CULT.

⚜ So I haven’t 100% fully fleshed out all parts & the many experiences Gideon has encountered along his story to make him the man he is today, but hey, that’s the beauty of plotting right? To make me delve further into my character and make up past experiences/stories and connections as I go along rping & plotting with all of you lovelies <3 So if anyone would like to plot a connection or anything at all, with Gideon, please feel free to fill up the heart on this post with some red XD ;) ⚜

So Gideon comes form a very old & powerful family line of witches and his family also happens to be one of the oldest witch families to have settled in NOLA eversince it was founded.

His large family is very into their ancestral magic and they are quite uppity and proud folks. Some of them throughout the past century till now, were also said to be quite hedonistic and irresponsible when it came to using their magic esp on the vampires, the no.1 species whom they hated. And there were also rumors that a couple of the Garth family of witches, had dabbled quite deeply into dark magic, but till now, those were just rumors.

However even from a young age of 7, gideon was a sharp, pretty perceptive and wise boy who didn’t hesitate from speaking his mind even in front of the elders and stating his pov/opinions of things. he disliked most of the principles, type of values and beliefs his large family and even his coven stood for & even disliked teh fact that they were all rooted in ancestral magic. The only thing he did like was the ability and powers of magic, the supernatural heritage of the city he grew up in and the ever-expanding knowledge about the supernatural world and the different types of supernatural species. So he studied hard, researched, and explored as much as he could about the supernatural species from his friends/ppl in the town & from the historical records from NOLA and even more so, the different forms and types of magic that were in existence. He thus also chose to invest & practiced other types & forms of magic, apart from his family ancestral ones, due to his growing curiosity and interest. So all in all, you could say that he was considered “the black sheep” of the family, since he was sorta of the rebel against them and so vry different from most of his family members, as he was v responsible in using his magic, had a pure heart full of good intentions and nothing else, very upright and steadfast in his good moral values and principles and in summary, v straight and not crooked like most of his family members were, in which he had also labelled them as ‘hypocrites.’

When he blossomed into a teenager, his powers manifested even more and his magical abilities also began to increase tremendously. Eventually, his inexplicable surge of power and energy had not gone unnoticed by the people in his coven and family (his family belonged to a large coven consisting of 3 families) and tehy all started considering him as a possible candidate to be the next leader of their coven. His family members then began to coach & pressuring him into becoming the perfect coven leader as they saw it as another golden accomplishment for their family’s name and were proud of the fact that their family line were able to churn out leaders at almost every other generation. Gideon initially showed he was okay with it bcos he secretly wanted to learn from them how to advance, control and harness his burgeoning magical powers even further, but once he had learned as much as he could from them, he began to boldly show his dislike for his family’s kind of magical practices and also boldly show that he had no intention nor did he ever want to become his coven’s leader as he was against a lot of things that they believed to be right and condoned half the stuff they did which was based on their manipulative and slightly crooked beliefs. One of which was the Harvest Ritual they believed in, and in which Gidoen was highkey skeptical & critical of when he first heard about it and in the end, he grew to hate it once he saw between the lines of matter. All the things which the coven and his family had done were mostly based on their ancestral magic beliefs and ancestral magic was the kind of magic which Gideon believed to be the key root problem to everything as well as anything negative that his families and the other witches of his coven did. When he was 17/18, he found out that he had natural affinity for nature and connection with the vast multitude of different species of plants, which then fueled his curiosity to research and learn more about this area of magic. He then gradually started to study herbalism as well as a few other areas linked to magical healing, as he felt that it would be a great way to help people with his powerful magical abilities and anyway, gideon’s objective all this while from childhood till now was to use his magic for good, to aid others and to keep the Balance in a purely righteous and morally upright way.

He finally had enough of his family and coven by the age of 22 & was so sicken of them to this point, that he ran away from NOLA without a word to anyone so nobody would be able to track him down ever and covered himself with an extraordinarily powerful charm he had secretly created on his own for a few years already, that shielded him from being able to be tracked by blood magic or any other magical means of locating him. He has then never once returned back to NOLA till now.

About a year before he left however, he entered into a relationship with a St.Claire witch (davina’s mom), and while he was initially reall in love with her at first, but after 8 months into the relationship, he finally saw all of her true colors, and a lot of them(or half of them) were negative and clashed with his own moral beliefs and principles. ( im willing & open to discuss further about this part of her character & personality with any mun who wants to play davina’s mom as i don’t wanna limit or god-mod anybody’c character, so this is just ny own personal hc for now since we don’t have Madam St.Claire in the rp rn XD) Their relationship deteriorated after that, as he couldn’t convince her to widen her mind and see between the lines of the many negative parts of their ancestral magic and they also had many terrible arguments for the next 2 months. Finally and sadly realizing that the two of them were not suited for each other and they might possibly forever be clashing with each other, he decided that the healthiest, best & only course of action was for them to end their relationship and thus he determinedly broke up with her. He left town 2 months after their breakup and ofc didnt inform her about his leaving. So if davina’s mom were to come in, im leaving it open to the mun to decide if she had already knew she was pregnant just before he left or only found out about it afterwards, but either way, she really didn’t have a chance to tell Gidoen that she was pregnant with his child.

He then travelled far and wide all around different states and eventually also different countries and parts of the world. And among his journey, he learnt hundreds of things, gained and widened his knowledge immensely, met all types of people, personalities, and species and had many impactful experiences which changed and molded him into the man and person he is today. It was during his travels that he further practiced and improve on his healing magic as well as herbal & traditional medicine which were pretty effective most of the time whenever he aided in helping to heal people, as he had infused & blended them with magical properties. So he quietly become pretty known among many people as a good & effective healer and he always tried his upmost best to use his magical abilities to help and save people who were being attacked by any supernatural beings with evil/bad intentions. The “part-time hired fighter” part of his occupation is indirectly more of a bodyguard/protector type of thing , where he selectively( & once in a while) allowed himself to be hired by any family or person, needing some protection for a while against someone who had malicious intentions of harming them. And after 40 years of his nomadic travelling (as he nvr settled down longer than a few years at a place), he has finally returned to NOLA due to the disturbing news he had heard Inadu, her cult and all the problems that were happening as result of them , and he wanted to come here to aid the good side as much as he could.

His personality rn, is of a more discreet and quiet man, gentle with some people, v patient, compassionate, likes to keep to himself as often as possible whenever he is not helping people, subtly wary, sometimes a bit dry and pretty shrewd & likes to silently & secretly observe people by himself on the inside. He is also very firm on his morality & always wants to do the upright thing as often as possible, though throughout his many years of experiences, he had also come to the realization, that there were a few instances, where things had to be handled in a more grey manner rather then black and white for the best outcome. So it is only in those few particular times, he had to grimly blur the lines a tiny little bit and view things in shades of grey.

#pregnancy tw #bio #macabre:intro

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angel-nero · 7 years

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I was tagged by @shcith and @kukinta

Answer these 85 statements and tag 20 people.

1. drink: water, do it bitch, sip it. 2. phone call: no one. 3. text message: my friends 4. song you listened to: psylla, glass animals 5. time you cried: in the morning 6. dated someone twice: no 7. kissed someone and regretted it: ya 8. been cheated on: idk lmao. 9. lost someone special: yes 10. been depressed: yes and im 11. gotten drunk and thrown up: no favorite colors 12. Pink 13. Red 14. Lilac in the last year have you… 15. made new friends: yes! 16. fallen out of love: nope! 17. laughed until you cried: yes… if i laugh too much i feel like fainting and I panic cus i have a problem in my nose lol 18. found out someone was talking about you: yas 19. met someone who changed you: yas 20. found out who your friends are: yas 21. kissed someone on your facebook list: no! general 22. how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: i have 731, i probably know 500… listen, i needed ppl to send me shit for fb games. 23. do you have any pets: a dog and a cat 24. do you want to change your name: i dont like my name but changing it means money, time and i can’t think of something better lol. 25. what did you do for your last birthday: i panicked and my friends came over. I got gifts. I turned 19, like eren, that was the highlight of it. 26. what time did you wake up: 9am…. 27. what were you doing at midnight last night: im in my ex crush couch wishing to die, regretting my decisions, watching superbad… a terrible movie. I dont want to eat dinner man, im sick. I wonder why im sitting here, like how do i even get in these situations wtf. 28. name something you can’t wait for: getting better, be healthy 29. when was the last time you saw your mom: like 10 hours ago 31. what are you listening to right now: the fan and laughs. 32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: yes! Tomas tho, i called him toms like the shoes! We r besties over text cus i dont have the guts to see him even if we attended school together lol i haven’t talked to him… ho. 33. something that is getting on your nerves: mmm… life in general 34. most visited website: rn… tumblr? Google? Um. youtube as of 2 weeks ago 35. hair colour: dark 36. long or short hair: i hate my hair either way 37. do you have a crush on someone: i love someone! 38. what do you like about yourself: mm. a few things… 39. piercings: none 40. blood type: o+ 41. nickname: gab, gabs, bowie, gabhole, gabaloney, cess, pendeja 42. relationship status: single and a disappointment 43. zodiac: aries 44. pronouns: she/her 45. favourite tv show: mr robot!!!!!!!!!! 46. tattoos: 0, i want em 47. right or left handed: right 48. surgery: needing them lol 49. piercing: i want them but apparently i can’t have them 50. sport: i swim. I need to do them… i need to go to the gym lol 51. vacation: i wish them…! Im moving to another city in a month alone lol 52. pair of trainers: i bought a pair of purple reebokkkks. Oh god.. you don’t know but we think the song “this is the rhythm of the night” sounds like “estos son reebok or son nike, son nike, ooh!” … r these reebok or are they nike, they’re nike! And i have that song in my head every time i see them. Yeah. more general 53. eating: lately i have been bad at it 54. drinking: i need water lol 55. i’m about to: i forgot to take my pills twice today…. i wanna sleep but im stuck here so… i cant even drink aaaaaa. Skip dinner. 56. waiting for: graduating college lmfao, i don’t want to go 57. want: stability in life 58. get married: yes… but lately i’ve lost hope of it… lol all my life i was like “sure! It will happen sure!” 59. career: architecture if i dont… send it to hell 1st. 60. hugs or kisses: hugs. 61. lips or eyes: eyes. 62. shorter or taller: i like to be the tallest friend. 63. older or younger: older. 64. nice arms or nice stomach: nice… stomach……? 65. hook up or relationship: relationship! 66. troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant 67. kissed a stranger: in the cheek, we do that here for courtesy? Lmfffao have a kiss, u been blessd by gab’s germs. Other than that no 68. drank hard liquor: a lot 69. lost glasses/contact lenses: uh… ya 70. turned someone down: yes! 71. sex on the first date: no 72. broken someone’s heart: yeah :’^( nah they’re fine but i have the luck of always encountering the most dramatic ppl ever. 73. had your heart broken: HAHA YES??? I mean… fuck you im fine? But i was a weird teen and loved too much, no one has any idea 74. been arrested: nooooooo…………??? 75. cried when someone died: ya 76. fallen for a friend: all my crushes have been my best friends… like the most i sulk for? Other than that strangers but i always fuck up do you believe in … 77. yourself: fuk no 78. miracles: yes 79. love at first sight: yes 80. santa claus: i did, i defend him when kid. Fucking believed in him till i was 12, Fuck me. 81. kiss on the first date: look, if i ever go in a date w u, and was willing to go out of my cave, is bcos i adore u so yea 82. angels: :Dddd @glaspaladin i do believe in them tho yes…….??????????? other 83. current best friend’s name: ivannia, fernanda, luz arena lmao 84. eye colour: brown 85. favourite movie: …. um. Uh. Ah. Oh yeah! Before I disappear. The girl w the dragon tattoo. I have like 60 fav movies, i actually did a list in fb in the part of “what movies have u watch” and constantly update them bcos if i didn’t i would forget em and i love them so much? Im lame yaaaaas.

i tag: @glaspaladin @softboyshiro @levi-delrey @pureren @cubanlance @klancerous @zaevran @quiiiznak @ackersmith @blessedkeith

#THANKS FOR THE TAGS<3 #i filled this yesterday kjdhajd #tag meme #i was being emo #this one is long immm sorry

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survivormoheli · 6 years

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Tribal Council #7 - Ouani

Welcome back to tribal council, Ouani. Blake will not be voting tonight due to Raffy’s personal advantage.

Blake, how do you think your vote being cancelled will affect this tribal council? Are you going to be able to survive without a vote?

Well this tribal I have no power. I am going to have to rely on my relationships. Me surviving this vote isn't up to me its up to my tribe. But I do not feel out of this game yet, I trust my friends 100%

Dani, do you feel safe or in danger this vote? If you feel targeted, why do you think that is? If you feel safe, why?

Hello Jay, thank you for the garbage question. Do I feel safe? No, I never go into tribal thinking I'm safe sweetheart and neither should anyone else. This game can literally flip at any moment and the moment you feel comfortable is the moment you leave. The only reason I would be targeted is because I kinda suck at challenges, but you know what I always give me all in the challenges and if that's not enough then I don't know what to tell you.

Andreas, as of right now, who do you think is playing the best game, across the board? Who are the big threats as we approach the later stages of the game?

People aren't playing their full hand yet of course, but damn. Raffy just fed an entire city in Bangladesh this round or something. Good night.

Lynn, how do you feel about your position on your tribe right now? Are you praying for a swap or merge, or dreading the idea?

This is survivor so I can never feel like I have a secure position in the tribe no matter how much I love and trust the people on it. As for a tribe swap or merge i stand on middle ground. I want it to happen because I love everyone on my tribe at the moment and don't want to vote anyone out but i'm not too happy about it because I know that some people on the other tribe and I haven't gotten along as well in the past.

Phoenix, explain how you’ll be deciding your vote this round. What is the logic behind the various decisions you could make?

*crickets*

Tara, what are your thoughts on what happened on the Moya tribe last round? How do you think that tribe’s dynamics will impact your own game later on?

i’m rly sad about Elliot self voting bcos we ended one world on kind of a bad note and i rlyyyy enjoyed their company n talking to them. hopefully i’ll get to make things up post season!! umm n for the second part i think u r asking the wrong person! idk how everything’s gonna play out but it’ll b exciting to see. i think i’m not rly gonna b basing who i work w on like tribe lines bcos we’ve swapped tribes so many times lol but more on who i’ve been able to rely on and been honest w me. i think that’s prob the same answer for most ppl!

I’ll read the votes.

First Vote: Lynn

Second Vote: Phoenix

you were the only one i haven’t talked to and it just felt like you were barely in this game to start with

Third Vote: Andreas

youre a great guy, I’m really sorry

Fourth Vote: Andreas

Phoenix I love and respect you, there was no way that I was going to save you tonight. You have been my closest ally in this game and it hurts my heart that I couldn't save you. I couldn't bare to have written your name down. I just want you to know that you have been honest and true with me and I am so mad that this is happening right now. Good luck, love you and I wish you the best <3

That’s two votes Andreas, one vote Lynn, one vote Phoenix, one vote left. If the next vote is for either Lynn or Phoenix we will have a tie and a revote. If it is for Andreas, he will go home.

Fifth Vote, and the next person voted out of Survivor Athena Moheli: Andreas

Announcement shortly.

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conor-sorbet · 7 years

Note

Answer questions 1-100!

o m g, Jason is this you? or Nick? hahahahahaha jfc okayyyyyyy

1: Is there a boy/girl in your life? - yes! tons of ‘em, i love my friends. ;p nobody who’d treat me any special though, i think 2: Think of the last person who hurt you; do you forgive them? - hell no, i was forgiving this person for way too long since i was a kid.3: What do you think of when you hear the word “meow?” - of cats obviously, my love for cats, cats as purest creatures on planet earth. CATS.4: What’s something you really want right now? - good breakfast. i’m stick with stale bread and tomatoes.5: Are you afraid of falling in love? - yes. it’s hard for me to trust anybody, and also as soon as i fall for you i get, like, twice as affectionate and clingy bcos i love showing you that i love you and care, and that’s how people run away from me. also i have an intense sex drive which can scare ppl away.6: Do you like the beach? - YES! esp in the evening. but i don’t live nearby any.7: Have you ever slept on a couch with someone else? - yup, actually like, a month ago, with my roommate’s sister. like, not WITH her but we def shared the couch. she’s a gem.8: What’s the background on your cell? - currenty it’s some sunset with “til the birds return for spring cleaning” lyrics underneath9: Name the last four beds you were sat on? - my old one, my roommate’s and i think the one in my roommate’s house... idk, this question is weird10: Do you like your phone? - yeah! it’s like, the best one i could get that was not and iPhone.11: Honestly, are things going the way you planned? - meh really. when it comes to short planning then yeah. and with school as well, but as for family, friends, relations and personal bullshit, i’m totally disappointing everybody including myself.12: Who was the last person whose phone number you added to your contacts? - my long-term friend’s, she’s changed her number.13: Would you rather have a poodle or a Rottweiler? - both, pups are good, but I think Rottweiler would suit me better, like, mentally lol14: Which hurts the most, physical or emotional pain? - emooooooooooooooootional. depends on how strong the physical pain is, but yeah, you can always get meds for that, but for emotional pain? hella mate, hmu if you find any that aren’t leading to utter self-destruction15: Would you rather visit a zoo or an art museum? - art museum. animals in cages make me sad.16: Are you tired? - like, now? a bit. it’s too early for my and i just finished my shift at work and yeah.17: How long have you known your 1st phone contact? - 21 years.18: Are they a relative? - It’s my momma.19: Would you ever consider getting back together with any of your exes? - No, NO, ever. well, maybe if I got in touch with Dee again... but nope, I hurt her too much, I don’t want her to have any throwbacks.20: When did you last talk to the last person you shared a kiss with? - hang on, lemme check my fakebook account. - two days ago!21: If you knew you had the right person, would you marry them today? - if I knew 100%? also knowing the future? hell yeah, if they wanted to, too. but that’d be a problem if it was a girl cos gay marriages are still illegal in my shithole country.22: Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? - nope, thanks, i’d have to be as drunk again.23: How many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now? - one, which is still a lot cos i rarely wear any24: Is there a certain quote you live by? - that’d be ‘el cielo es azul’ which is a SO to Conor obviously. but yeah, lots of quotes from conor, or john darnielle, or sufjan. toooo many 25: What’s on your mind? - upcomming off festival26: Do you have any tattoos? - no, but i want one sooo bad27: What is your favorite color? - purple, green, gray and black. i guess purple28: Next time you will kiss someone on the lips? - i don’t know. there’s few people, who, i guess, would want to kiss me like that, so it’ll be long, long, looong29: Who are you texting? - my mutuals now! love ya30: Think to the last person you kissed, have you ever kissed them on a couch? - yeahhhhh. he’s not a good person though, i’m bored talking about him31: Have you ever had the feeling something bad was going to happen and you were right? - ALL THE TIME, MATE, ALL THE TIME. I’m a massive intuitive.32: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to? - 99% of my friends are of males, so yeah.33: Do you think anyone has feelings for you? - nope, i don’t think so.34: Has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes? - yes. a drunkard begging me for cigarettes every morning would mention so. but i’d always share a cig with him anyway. so yeah, that was him and... him.35: Say the last person you kissed was kissing someone right in front of you? - I’d tell that someone to RUN AND SAVE THEIR LIVES. i swear.36: Were you single on Valentines Day? - yeah37: Are you friends with the last person you kissed? - nope, don’t want to be38: What do your friends call you? - I’m Gandalf cos supposedly I’m the brain of the group, but I think they do so ironically cos i’m a dumbass most of the time39: Has anyone upset you in the last week? - hell yeah40: Have you ever cried over a text? - too many times41: Where’s your last bruise located? - on my head. it’s not a happy story.42: What is it from? - from my brother punching me. as i’ve said, not happy.43: Last time you wanted to be away from somewhere really bad? - everyday. but 2 days ago the most.44: Who was the last person you were on the phone with? - my friend Suzy from uni45: Do you have a favourite pair of shoes? - nah, i don’t really give a damn about clothes46: Do you wear hats if your having a bad hair day? - nope, i wash my hair once more47: Would you ever go bald if it was the style? - nope, my hair is like... the only good feature, the only good... part of my body lol48: Do you make supper for your family? - sometimes49: Does your bedroom have a door? - of course50: Top 3 web-pages? - reddit, reddit and reddit. there’s no better web-page. well, pornhub sometimes, too.51: Do you know anyone who hates shopping? - YES! I DO!52: Does anything on your body hurt? - my back, i’m sitting in a weird position atm53: Are goodbyes hard for you? - hate to say it, but yes54: What was the last beverage you spilled on yourself? - beer about a week ago55: How is your hair? - red, sweaty and smells like fried chicken bcos of my job56: What do you usually do first in the morning? - i pee.57: Do you think two people can last forever? - yes. my parents for example58: Think back to January 2007, were you single? - I was 11 duuuude, of course59: Green or purple grapes? - purple60: When’s the next time you will give someone a BIG hug? - my dearest friends next week at the festival and possibly Conor if i don’t chicken out lol61: Do you wish you were somewhere else right now? - yessss, as always62: When will be the next time you text someone? - possibly soon, one of my mutuals63: Where will you be 5 hours from now? - at home, in the kitchen possibly64: What were you doing at 8 this morning. - at McDonald’s, working65: This time last year, can you remember who you liked? - i don’t remember whom i liked and if there was anyone but i def remember i started to dislike my ex66: Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile? - hmmm, i guess so67: Did you kiss or hug anyone today? - nope, but i’d do love to. i’m super affectionate and always in need for hugs and smooches68: What was your last thought before you went to bed last night? - i was wondering if i get the book i ordered recently today. and i just got the message from post office that i will haha69: Have you ever tried your hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end? - all my life, friend, all my life. esp with people.70: How many windows are open on your computer? - 3 atm71: How many fingers do you have? - the correct number72: What is your ringtone? - some random android ringtone73: How old will you be in 5 months? - stillllll 21.74: Where is your Mum right now? - at her friend’s i think.75: Why aren’t you with the person you were first in love with or almost in love? - oh, the story is long. 1) we were 15, madly in love for the first time 2) she was also a girl, my mom is kinda homophobic, her parents were even worse 3) our parents made us part tbqh 4) my mom e.g. told me that Dee (that girl) didn’t want to see me anymore but I don’t believe that. her parents possibly told her the same about me and yeah. 5) It all happened when my mom found out cos I wasn’t careful enough and yeah. Even though we’re adults now I fear contacting her even on fb, but I sometimes visit her profile, yes76: Have you held hands with somebody in the past three days? - nope77: Are you friends with the people you were friends with two years ago? - YES!78: Do you remember who you had a crush on in year 7? - still on my first girlfriend, i think.79: Is there anyone you know with the name Mike? - nope. i mean, there is mike mogis hehehehe but i don’t know him personally80: Have you ever fallen asleep in someones arms? - yes.81: How many people have you liked in the past three months? - hmm, idk, like 4-5? i mean, like, plathonically82: Has anyone seen you in your underwear in the last 3 days? - yeah, my mom i guess83: Will you talk to the person you like tonight? - idk, possibly not, they’re not well and i don’t want to bother them84: You’re drunk and yelling at hot guys/girls out of your car window, you’re with? - my roommate haha85: If your BF/GF was into drugs would you care? - depends on the kind of drugs. if they were addicted to serious shit i’d try my best to help them get out of that. but no, i wouldn’t abandon them or anything like that86: What was the most eventful thing that happened last time you went to see a movie? -...i don’t think my movie trips are ever that eventful haha87: Who was your last received call from? - my mom88: If someone gave you $1,000 to burn a butterfly over a candle, would you? - OMG WHAT IS THIS QUESTION. ughhhh no, no, no, no. that’s the amount of money I get working for 3 months I think, I’ll rather do that.89: What is something you wish you had more of? - records and books.90: Have you ever trusted someone too much? - yeah, way too often91: Do you sleep with your window open? - always, i can’t stand he heat92: Do you get along with girls? - depends. i mean, i love girls and all but somehow idk, i have more male friends93: Are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth? - yeah94: Does sex mean love? - just sex? nope. when you do it with somebody you love the most then yeah, can be one of the best things ever. but there’s lots of way to show, express and share love, sex can be just one of them. but sex is great generally sooooooo95: You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem? - yes, that is, that person is a creep ugh96: Have you ever kissed anyone with a lip ring? - yup97: Did you sleep alone this week? - i sleep alone nearly always98: Everybody has somebody that makes them happy, do you? - yeah, my friends and mutuals99: Do you believe in love at first sight? - somehow, yes100: Who was the last person that you pinky promise? - hooooooonestly, we don’t pinky promise in here, I think it’s an american thing haha

jfc THAT TOOK SOME TIME

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survivormoheli · 6 years

Text

Tribal Council #5 - One World

Welcome, everyone, to our one world tribal council where only the Ouani tribe can be voted out.

Eric, Blake, and Elliot, as this is your first tribal council, please dip your torches.

AnnMarie, how important is trust in a tribal council this big? Do you trust anyone who comes to you, or are you skeptical of everyone?

I'm open to all discussions with everybody in a tribal so large. Trust is important, but easy to maintain. To me, you are innocent until proven guilty, and unless you have lied to me, I'm open to any idea you may have. No plan is good or bad, and nobody is truly good and evil in a game like this.

Blake, you had the worst score in the challenge. Do you think this will ultimately put a target on your back? Do you think the strategy is past ‘keep the tribe strong’?

Ultimately I hope my GOD awful score doesn't put a target on my back... but hey who knows they may be thinking about the merge and be like well that kid wont be any competition for individual immunity so lets keep him around. The strategy about keeping the tribe strong I don't know if that is so relevant now bc so many people have formed relationships. But if my tribe still wants a strong team then I may be on the chopping block...

Bryan, how confident are you in the game post-one world? Do you think your position on your new tribe will be solid after all of this round’s drama?

Dani, after getting a strike in the challenge, do you think you’ll be targeted? How do you assure your fellow players that you’ll be active enough to take part in their plans?

Oh Jay... ENOUGH! Enough is ENOUGH IVE HAD IT! I feel like I’m taking CRAZY pills every time you ask me a god forsaken question... anyways. To answer your question. First of all, I didn’t understand the challenge and had no desire to understand it. Second of all, I had to volunteer all day today so I was just not for it. In other words, Yes. I AM ACTIVE ENOUGH.

Elliot, how has the tribe swap influenced game dynamics? Do you feel more solid with your new tribe or with the old? How do you think the game will have changed after this one world tribal?

The tribe swap has definitely changed the game- you get comfortable and then the tribes all swap around. While there are people I trust on both my tribe, and people I don't, for me this vote comes down to who I think has been the most genuine with me, and while that might alienate me from some people that's a risk I'm going to have to take.

Eric, congratulations on attending your first tribal council this late in the game! How do you sus out where the vote is since you don’t have prior experience with tribals? How do you maximize this opportunity to send the right person home?

Thanks for the warm welcome! haha It's kind of exciting to finally be at a tribal council, especially one where I'm immune. I guess it's important to take the time to chat with others, see how they all feel and take the time to understand what's truly going on. This is a very unique opportunity since everybody on the game is here to vote and it can create a unique voting trend.

Andreas, how much do you think old tribal lines and old alliances will influence this vote?

This vote is all about old tribal lines and old alliances. So I think, this will influence the vote for 100%.

JG, there’s no way for a majority alliance to have existed since tribes are currently smaller than the number needed for a majority, so how do votes get determined in a one world tribal? Is there a cohesive voting block, or will it be a heavily split vote?

Honestly, we won't know until tribal. There are so many strong players who want to still be here the next round and with so few people to be voted its gonna make for a interesting tribal .... I also think this has the potential to shake up any pre-existing shiz. .... oh and hi lynn

Lynn, after the drama between you and JG last round, do you think that animosity will come to a head as you’re one of the people who could potentially be eliminated?

Um the animosity is most definitely coming to a head. I mean even now everyone can obviously see JG doesn’t know how to keep my name from out of his messages to the gc so far. there’s no way you can stop people from believing what they want and JG is obviously coming after me so we’ll see what happens.

Phoenix, what do you think of Tara’s decision to make one world happen?

I mean, I know she was in a rush and people wanted it to happen, so it happened. I don't blame her or anything haha

Raffy, as the numbers dwindle down, how do you set yourself up to be in a good position for the merge?

You be social and hope to god people are being truthful. I want to trust people, but this is Survivor. Trust only goes as far as the things backing up that trust. When people vote together, you trust them. However, things can shift dramatically within the span of one tribal. I don't know how to set myself up for merge, but I pray to god that I am doing all that I can

Richie, my question to you is as simple as it is classic: what will you be basing your vote on tonight?

what will i be basing my vote on tonight???? well i'm safe and so is everyone on our tribe so my stake in this vote is hopefully going to make a proactive move that will help make the next vote i'm not safe at a little bit more manageable?????????

Tara, let us in on the logic behind putting the one world tribal in place. Do you think this will help you seem MORE or LESS trustworthy long term?

umm i honestly was just like walking down a rly busy corridor and i was stressing bcos i had to answer quick bcos i had already kept ppl waiting like 20 minutes so i asked in the tribe chat what ppl wanted n ya here we are. umm i honestly don't know what ppl will think of this! i hope they take the time to make new friends and have fun and not stress too much.

Tim, on a scale of 1-10, how rat-like/snake-like is this game? Do you feel you’re playing with trustworthy people, or are you constantly watching your back?

On a scale of one to 10 I'd have to rate the game as of now as a 6. There ARE snakes somewhere because they are inevitable. However, there are different types. You have your garden snake, small and sneaky but common and mostly harmless when they bite. Your Phythons, the big bad snakes who think they're running the show but their fangs hold no venom. They are only deadly one you've came within their ever so "trusting" grip, but from a distance, they are spottable if you know what you are looking for. Finally you have your Black Mambas. NOW these snakes... are deadly asf. You may not even see them coming but once they bite your life in the game is up. I'd advise that you stay as far away as possible from this breed but their camoflage leaves you unable to know who or where they are.

I feel as though everyone is trustworthy but the extent at which they are varies depending on the context of the situation as well as your previous trust.

I’ll read the votes.

First Vote: Bryan

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Second Vote: Blake

you did not speak to me. you tried to do something way beyond your ability. you were messy. good bye.

Third Vote: Bryan:

Under his eye

Fourth Vote: Blake

That’s two votes Bryan, two votes Blake, 10 votes left.

Fifth Vote: Bryan

Out! OUT! GET OUT!

Sixth Vote: Blake

sorry I have to stick to my guns ....

That’s three votes Bryan, three votes Blake, 8 votes left.

Seventh Vote: Bryan

in tears uh, hey everyone… karma got its kiss for me! puckers lips uh i cant go to JONATHAN’S right now because i got a…. a ticket because apparently you’resupposedtopulloverforanemergencyvehicle and i didn’t know laughs listen, my life is extremely going downhill cause im getting acne, and im getting fat and im blading right here if you cant see the whole triangle there like a piece of hair, im balding IM BALDING i’m turning ugly and my face is going to be fat for the rest of the day and i cant even SHOWER BEFORE WORK because im not going to be home on time! and that fat ass indiana cries the fat ass indiana cop…. gave me a ticket…. and he’s like “do you know about this law?” i didn’t so i said “no”… because i didnt talking through tears and it’s so much money and i only have FOURTY SEVEN DOLLARS and im not even supposed to go under fifty and im going to get fined by my bank

try not to hold-

SHUT UUUUUUUUUUUUUUP!! im going to get fined by my bank for having under fifty dollars ♫ and i already owe my parents four hundred something dollars and i owe my friend’s mom eighty and i cant get a job now but everything’s fine cough and im oKAY and my parents are really mad at me and my life is going downhiiiill ♫ so if anyone wants to be like a nice person laughs through tears and give me money to pay for this fucking ticket because i dont have it inhales i’mgoingtoleavemypaypal link but like winks thats me winking BUT MY EYES ARE TOO SWOLLEN TO WINK cries and i called to see if i could serve jail time instead of paying but no one answered so i left a voicemail asking if it were an option for me to serve jail time instead of paying inhales you’re going to get arrested for that they’re going to be like this dumbest bitch then they’re going to arrest you crying isn’t that the point that’s what he wants and my friends are laughing while i’m having an emotional breakdown crying SHOW ME SUPPOOOOOOORT crying laughing screams into pillow

Eighth Vote: Bryan

it's hard to not take an opportunity like this to vote out a very strong and experienced player. I wish you the best!

Ninth Vote: Bryan

It sucks that you have to go home but sometimes it be like that

Tenth vote, and the next person voted out of Survivor Athena Moheli: Bryan

Lol sorry bud

The remaining votes were also for Bryan.

Eleventh Vote: Bryan

You're a really nice dude, it just has to be done

Twelfth Vote: Bryan

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Thirteenth Vote: Bryan

Fourteenth vote:

Bryan, you will have a few moments to send any last words before everyone is removed from this chat.

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