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waterme-stories · 3 years

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“That Five Letter D-Word”

That Five Letter D-Word

(Wade Wilson/Nathan Summers, Teen, 6K)

In which Nate isn’t aware that ‘daddy’ isn’t an all-purpose pet name in this era, and Wade sure ain’t gonna be the one to tell him.

The first time it happens, Wade nearly creams his pants in the dairy aisle.

He’s just minding his own business, doing his shopping with his big, beautiful himbo housespouse, when said housespouse turns to him with a twinkle in his bionic eye and says, “Hey, daddy, do you want whole or skim?”

Wade’s world comes to a screeching halt, flat like his pancreas against the pavement the last time he got bored and decided to protest the unjust discontinuation of Nickelodeon Green Slime Limited Edition Breakfast Cereal(tee em) by taking a nosedive off the Baxter Building.

(No one was around, on account of he did it at 3am. Some part of Colossus must be rubbing off on him (and not in the fun way), that smooth, steely voice of sanctimonious reason twining sensually between his ears to tell him that “Witnessing a trauma creates more trauma,” and “Children live in that building, Wade.” So Wade folded like a chump and did it long after that creep Mr. Sandman (the villain, not the fairy tale) had come and cum and gone. Unfortunately, the timing of The Late Show with The Late Wade Wilson meant no one saw his indignant swandive except some city raccoons and a lone pizza rat. Still, he’s expecting his hand-written apology and lifetime supply of Mr. T Crunchies any day now.)

Anyway, none of that matters now except for the milk that he’ll use to drown his imminent and infinite supply of breakfast diabetes. Because he’s been known to hallucinate, but he’s pretty sure Nathan Robocop Summers just called him ‘daddy.’

“Exsqueeze me?” he gasps.

Nate just sighs, that fond smirk he gets any time he catches Wade daydreaming (so, always). “Asked what kind of milk you like, darlin’.”

“Uh… strawberry homogenized. Fruity and full homo, if ya know what I mean, schnookums.”

Nate gives him a weird look and grabs 2%, and then the moment is over.

By the time they get back to their shitty rattrap of an apartment, Wade has convinced himself he imagined it. The tinny Muzak had been on a repeating loop of Britney Spears, Christina Agulera, and Phil Collins; a “Daddy Issues of Yesteryears” Spotify playlist if Wade had ever heard one. Between the shuffle of other shoppers and Christina’s riveting baritone, he must have misheard. Wouldn’t be the first time Nate used a nonsense word and Wade smiled and nodded and humored him like it was a real thing (fake shit like “Ebonshire”, or “Psimitar”, or “rutabaga”).

He forgets all about it.

Until a week later, when they’re huddled over their breakfast bar, dog shaped post-it notes and newspaper clippings and dry erase lines unspooling across the peeling formica counter into a conspiracy theorist’s wet dream on the latest Enemy Of Our Planet’s Future. Wade’s pretty sure this douche-socket made it on Nate’s unforgivables list for failing to rinse out the pasta sauce jars before he put them in the recycling, and he thinks guiltily of all the aerosol he released into the ozone in pursuit of that totally fly updo, back in the day.

“Pass me the tape, daddy?” Nate says, and Wade’s halfway through doing it before his brain catches up.

“Wait. Did you just call me ‘daddy’?”

Nate shrugs like it’s no big deal, and there’s kinda no response to that, so Wade drops it.

(read the rest on Ao3!)

#cablepool #nathan summers #wade wilson #fanfic #full fic on ao3 #teen #what a flex #especially given the premise #cw: childhood trauma #(mentioned)#my work

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tonguetiedmag · 5 years

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music: weekly roundup (our favorite song submissions of the week)

Jon Vinyl - Work

Jon Vinyl effortlessly exudes smoothness in “Work.” The contemporary R&B track makes for easy listening, even though it’s about just the opposite: hard work. “Work,” as Vinyl says, is an ode to “the beautiful exhaustion that is songwriting.” This can be seen in the chorus: “All this working got me crazy, but I’m still patient.” Later, he sings, “Getting paid to speak, easy to listen but it’s hard for me... I ain’t complaining, love what I do.” It’s the perfect chilled out mantra for when you need some extra motivation, but aren’t quite ready to go full steam ahead.

Toledo - Que Pasa?

Indie pop/rock band Toledo slow things down with “Que Pasa?,” a song about band member Dan Alvarez’s relationship with his dad. The song starts with listing a few chores: making the bed, hanging a shirt, turning lights off. And yet mention of an argument. In the chorus, they sing, “Que pasa? What’s going on? What’s wrong?” The lines repeat, evoking a sense of numb tiredness. An acoustic guitar carries much of the song, the vocals just a handful of notches above a murmur. It’s all so very gentle.

Superheart - Talk About It

Superheart’s “Talk About It” sounds like the definition of dream pop. The vocals are lush, hinting at a faraway self echo during the chorus. A tender video game-like beep loops throughout, giving the song a utopian quality. Early on, they sing, “see what good this love brings.” Such wonderment falls into the repetitive chorus:“We could talk about it. We only ever talk about it.” It’s not annoying, but rather tingly like the warm summer sun on your skin.

Alto Key - Whisper in the Mist

With “Whisper in the Mist,” Alto Key sought to explore love, loss and hope through the tale of a bird in a winter forest being nurtured back to health. Such themes call for appropriate melodrama, as portrayed by a string quartet that grows with the song, mellowing for the verses and climaxing at the bridge. The song begins with hearing a cry and makes its way to raising the bird. The central rallying cry can be found in the chorus: “There is still hope. She’s a whisper in the mist. But I’m so tired of storming down these slopes, trying to find out who she is.”

Brandon Hoogenboom - Hey You

Warm acoustic guitar grabs you with Brandon Hoogenboom’s “Hey You.” However, he has previously said the song is in fact about anxiety.” An upbeat strum kicks off the song and he sings, “Today I chose to sleep. My mind’s been drowning.” At the end of the first verse, Hoogenboom declares, “Got no control,” sending the vocals into a wonked out spiral that evokes the evokes the chaos that can come with anxiety. The plunging chorus keeps you on your toes, but is never jarring, and is especially exciting just before the song ends, slowly muting out.

DD Walker - Concord

DD Walker released his debut EP Malibu earlier this month. It features “Concord,” an electro indie track that pitter patters along an 80s dance track that initially makes you think Walker is going to bust out “Maniac,” but instead cools off. It’s a moment of peace before reality could set in. In the chorus, he sings, “Hell or high water. Either way, going out together.” “Concord” dreamy dance track in competition with your wildest Jack Antonoff desires.

Matt McDermott - Whiskey Sarah

In “Whiskey Sarah,” Matt McDermott brings you in with “woah ohs” begging to be sung along. What follows is the beginning of an encounter with someone he goes on to refer to as “Whiskey Sarah.” He sings, “Met you on the corner real late last night. You tapped me on the shoulder and asked for a light.” The track has the same charm pop punk songs have when singing about specific, intriguing, fairly reckless girls, but leans into the guitar for a feel-good sound a la alt/rock pop.

Beach Tiger - It’s Been So Long

Beach Tiger find the right psychedelic rock balance in “It’s Been So Long,” knowing when to lay it heavy on the slow burn or poppiness. An extended guitar jam begins the song, eventually humming into a drum that kicks off the hazy, upbeat vocals. The last minute and a half or so give way to muted, angelic “la las,” eventually ending with a dripping electric guitar-focused instrumental.

Spielbergs - Five On It

“Five On It” begins with a screeching guitar. Things don’t stay super heavy, but the Oslo natives prove they’ve created something of your childhood garage fantasy. In the chorus, they sing, “What do I do? What do I care? What do I know?” The upbeat rock track shys from the intended honesty of the song, making for a pleasant combination of vulnerability and fun, with a touch of a harder edge.

Walden - Friends are OK

After some touring around, the Netherland-bred Walden are ready to release their first official single, “Friends are OK.” The song starts: “How has life been treating you?” “Friends are OK” comes off as the kind of indie track you play on loop in the summer, but then gets sluggish at the chorus for a break down before picking up again for the next verse. It’s full of charming quips, like “she’s leaving for the moon right outside the ladies room,” making for a wholesome 3 minutes and 40 seconds.

Cold Engines - Money

Cold Engines are taking steps to release their next album, Kiss My Heart, come May. The step in this case is “Money,” a funky rock n roll guitar that is at its best when it shows off the horns and guitar solos. Money’s soul brings 70s nostalgia to a new generation in dire need of simple grooviness. The mantra, “You’re all about the money,” brings Bruno Mars to mind, but sidesteps such comparisons by not going too ham on the pop production. Regardless, “Money” is a song that calls for swagger and dance.

Listen to all these songs on our playlist!

Article by: Haley Bosselman

#weekly roundup #roundup #cold engines #walden #spielbergs #dd walker #matt mcdermott #Brandon dogenboom #superheart #alto key #toldeo #jon vinyl #music #submithub #submissions #favorite submissions

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imyourliquor-youremypoison · 7 years

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Play Me (Skam - Chris x OC) Part 5

Pairing : Chris x OC (name’s Elin)

Synopsis : Player 1 meets Player 2. The score is tight.

Word count : 3.3k

A/N: turns out this is not the last part haha why do i do this to myself?

MASTERLIST

Part 4 <<<< >>> Part 6

PS: I made a Chris playlist HERE

Whether or not this was supposed to be date or something else was the least of Elin's concerns. She was just glad she had chosen to wear jeans, because what Chris had in mind definitely require pants. He had brought her to a frozen lake. A bunch of people were there, mostly families, and they tried to make the small children cross the lake without slipping. To be perfectly honest she was quite impressed, because she hadn't given enough credit to Chris. He was capable of being imaginative when needed, and his idea of a date (or not?) wasn't limited to going to the movies and having ice cream or pizza afterward.

“So this is your very special place?”

Elin turned around, looking away from the lake and toward Chris. He was sitting on the edge of the car's trunk, which contained the ice skates he brought and a few blankets.

“Are you gonna tell me why it's so special?” She asked, plopping down next to him and grabbing the skates. “How do you even know my shoe size?” Elin frowned.

“Can't you stop asking so many questions, woman!” Chris complained, his voice laced with amusement. “These were my mom's, I thought they'd fit you.”

“Good call, they do,” Elin said after putting one on. “I- euh, I never ice skated though,” she admitted, cringing slightly.

Frankly that was one of the things she had always wanted to do but there never was a good occasion until now. Her only solace was the lack of witnesses if she made a complete fool of herself. Not that she intended to. The only thing stronger than her fear of failure was Elin's unwavering determination to succeed.

“Really?” Chris asked, his smirk growing, and his tongue slightly peeking out of the corner of his lips. His eyes went up and down Elin's body, as if trying to evaluate her. “Mmh,” he hummed, shrugging, “here I thought we'd have ice skating races.”

Her jaw clenched at that and she stood up, the ice skates' blade digging in the snow as she placed herself right in front of him.

“Give me one hour and I'll hand your ass to you,” she challenged him, leaning down a little bit to be at eye level since he was still sitting. Elin was aware of Chris using reversed psychology on her, but the part of her brain that acknowledge it and was genuinely impressed was put to silence by her competitive spirit.

Seemingly unimpressed and accepting the challenge Chris stood up without any warning, his chest brushing against hers as he did so. He was taller than her from a few centimeters and he was delighted to see the surprise and fluster on Elin's face when he smirked down at her. He was so close she didn't even notice when he raised a hand, palm up, waiting for her to take it and follow him toward the frozen surface.

“You coming or what?” He dared her, obviously enjoying seeing her out of her comfort zone.

Now she had a little idea of what he was going through ever since she stormed into his life. She glared at him and although her heart beat a thousand beats a minute and her breathing was a little uneven, she put herself together and gently took his hand. It as a lot warmer than what she expected, and since none of them wore gloves, she could feel his skin under her fingertips. His fingers curled around her hand and he began walking carefully toward the lake, making sure she wasn't tripping in the snow with her skates.

“Do you want a hand?” He asked, amused when he saw Elin glare at the lake, as if warning it not to mess with her.

“No, no I'm good. I can do this,” she said, silently cursing her pride for both potentially being the soon-to-be cause of her face planting, and for depriving her of the opportunity to touch him again. This boy sure knew what buttons to push, both figuratively and literally.

“I'm getting old!” He snickered from a few meters away, already skating smoothing on the ice, hands in his pockets to shield them from the cold.

“Shut up, Chris!” Elin gave him the bird and he laughed at her. “I'm there, I'm there...” she said as she stepped onto the ice.

“You have to move now, or you won't be able to catch up with me!” He said, provoking her by incessantly tracing loops in front of her. “C'mon, it's just like roller skating! You've got to have tried roller skating in your life!”

“Yes, yes, I have,” she answered. “I just have to get the hang of it.”

“Do you plan on doing that today?” He kept on teasing her, his smile reaching his ears as he skated past her, backwards.

“Show off!” Elin rolled her eyes at him. “Aren't you supposed to be nice with me?”

“Who said such a thing?” He asked as she moved forward a couple meters.

She was focused on her feet and tried to remember the movement, getting a feel of the ice and exactly how slippery it was.

“I vaguely recall you telling me about a Chris 2.0 who deserved a second chance,” she replied, a small but victorious smile tugging at her lips when she realized she was skating and she did not fall so far. It did feel a lot like roller skating.

“I'm positive I never said he was nice, he's just less of an ass,” he corrected her, this time making circles around her.

“You're making me dizzy!” She told him when he finished the fifth circle.

“Tell me something I don't know!” Chris laughed, shooting her a confident smile and skating past her so close she could smell the faint odor of his perfume in his wake, and suddenly, her ears felt really cold. “I knew you weren't immune to my devastating smile!”

“You-” Elin started but bit her tongue. “Give it back,” she demanded, opening her palm in front of her. Chris pretended not to know what she was talking about and put her beanie on his own head.

“You want it back?”

“Yes, I want it back!” She tried to sound upset, but really there was no use, she was grinning so wide her face threatened to split in two.

“Then come get it,” he said, triumphantly. “I won't move, I promise,” he said, and true to his word he didn't move a muscle until Elin reached his spot, slowly but without falling – which as a small but significant victory. “And here you are,” he said, reaching out to give her something to hold onto and not slip away. Her hands came to rest on his shoulders for support.

“Gotcha,” he said, biting his lower lip.

Elin, in order to get back her beanie, ran a hand through Chris' hair, effectively recovering her prized possession, and disheveling him in the process. She wanted to groan at how soft it felt. He truly had everything going for him, and the girl hadn't decided yet if she hated it or if it was his favorite thing about him.

“You're staring,” he whispered, causing Elin to come back to reality.

He expected her to blush but instead she raised her chin and proudly said, “so what? Don't tell me you're opposed to it! A couple weeks ago you were the one constantly eyeing me up and down!”

Chris looked like he was caught red-handed with his hand in the cookie jar and he even had the decency to seemed embarrassed.

“It was not meant to be discrete, but when you put it like that... what betrayed me?” He inquired.

“You stared so hard I could literally feel it,” Elin teased, once again running her fingers in his hair, although the beanie was forgotten. “And the girls told me.”

Neither of them could tell whose smile was screaming victory the most, but Elin's warm brown eyes couldn't detach from his mischievous ones and her hands were as good as glued to his head, one at the back of his head, the other on his neck, and god she wanted to kiss those smirking lips, if only to wipe this smile off his face, but she was not going to give in first. Not until she was sure he wasn't screwing her up and over.

“If this is all a fucking game to you, I swear I will beat you so hard your own mother won't recognize you and then I'll set your car on fire,” she warned him, sounding terribly serious.

“How will you go home if you set my car on fire?” Chris frowned.

“I'll drive home first, and then I'll set it on fire, there,” she said, earning yet another smirk. Exactly how many times a day did he smirk? There must be some broken record he wasn't even aware of.

“I'm not playing.” Chris shrugged. “Are you?” He didn't wait for an answer, because he knew it already. “I'm two seconds away from kissing you, if you don't want me to, you better run away now coz after this you won't be able to get rid of me.”

“Huh!” She huffed, taking him back. “If you're asking permission, know that you won't get it. Where's the thrill if you don't risk being rejected?”

“I know you won't push me away,” he said, giving Elin his aware winning smile. Though all of his smiles seemed to fit into this category. “If you do, I'll have to lie to my diary, and you wouldn't want to have this on your conscience.”

Not saying anything, Elin's grin widened, along with Chris' when he saw her joyful expression. He took it for an invitation and slowly leaned in, until their breaths mingled. Elin felt the warmth of Chris' breath against her cheek, the tip of his nose brush against her. She knew his lips weren't far from hers anymore and if she moved so much as from one centimeter forward, they would meet. She held her breath and closed her eyes because of how close he was. Chris squeezed her waist and she stroked the back of his neck, and it was starting to become impossible to make it last any longer when suddenly Elin pulled back, to Chris' utmost frustration. His eyes snapped open at the sound of her laughter and he felt her slip from his grasp.

“I changed my mind,” she announced, all sweet smiles and batting lashes. “I'm sure your diary will understand though.”

“What the hell?” Chris whined. “Don't give a man such false hopes, you tease,” he said playfully, already skating after her.

“I couldn't help it, you were making it so easy!” Elin deliberately provoked him, going as far as to wink and then turn around and make her way toward the center of the lake. “You said you wanted to have a race? Well it starts now!”

“You're like ten meters ahead of me, you cheater!” He exclaimed, though he caught up with her pretty fast.

“You little-” she began to swear when Chris whooshed past her, causing her to wobble on her skates.

Suddenly, what was bound to happen happened: someone slipped and fell, and to both their surprises, it was Chris. Elin almost joined him on the ground because of the fit of laughter than shook her, but she calmed down quickly, and swiftly made her way to Chris.

“Not so cocky anymore, huh?” She wiggled her eyebrows at him and made fun of him, but she still reached out for his hand to help him get back on his feet.

It was already too late when Elin spotted the devilish smirk on Chris' face, he was already pulling her down by the arm, effectively making her land right on top of him. He gasped from the shock but smiled in victory.

“I'm sorry what were you saying?” He asked her.

Elin sat up and looked at him, imagining a hundred different ways to make him swallow his pride and possibly his scarf too. Then she realized she was sitting on him, one leg each side of his hips, and it got it bit tense. Not the embarrassed kind of tension, the other kind.

His hands were no sooner on her thighs and now that they were cold, Chris relished in the feeling of warmth provided by her body. Elin's own hands were burning from the cold since they were flat against the ice, each side of Chris' face.

“We should get up, we'll get sick,” Chris said when he saw her bare hands turn blue.

“Yeah,” Elin agreed.

Getting up was a little more challenging than expected, but she did it nonetheless and then once again offered Chris her hand – did she really not learn her lesson or did she just enjoy their position?

“C'mon, up you go,” she gestured him to hurry. “You're so hot you'll make the ice melt.”

Chris couldn't trust his ears and honestly, neither could she. Had she just fallen so low as to make a lame pickup line? Directed at Chris? Spending time with him had a debilitating effect on her brain.

“You really think I'm hot?” He asked as soon as he was standing on his two feet.

He was trying to meet her eyes but Elin desperately looked everywhere but at him, out of sheer embarrassment and definitely not because she would start blushing like a tomato if she actually looked at him. He ended up giving up and simply wrapped his arm around her shoulders, slowly leading her back toward the car. It was a simple yet affectionate gesture that was both friendly and intimate, and man did she love it.

“That's a relief you know, I was beginning to question my good looks, no one's ever left me hanging like that when I was about to kiss them,” he further poked Elin's buttons.

“Still going on about that kiss?” She said, pouting.

“Well, what else should I be thinking about? The color of the sky? My homework for tomorrow? Friday's part- uhmph!” He bent in two when Elin elbowed him.

“That was low, Chris even for you!” She glared him daggers, but he seemed to be in real pain, though she was certain she didn't elbow him that hard. “Shit! Your wound, I forgot!”

Now she was the one who deserved a good smack on the back of the head. Luckily they had almost reached the edge of the lake and she made Chris sit down in the snowy grass. He was still clutching at his side, lips brought together in a thin line as if to stifle a groan.

“I'm so sorry Chris, are you gonna be okay?” Elin worriedly sat net to him and put a hand on his shoulder.

“I'm fine,” he breathed out, unconvincingly, but still, he tried to smile and put on a brave facade. “Peachy,” he added.

“I'm such an idiot,” Elin said before apologizing again, even offering to check his bandage to see if it was bleeding or anything.

“If you want to see me naked, you know you just have to ask, right?” He laughed after assuring her he would live and apologizing for bringing up the party. “Or you could just kiss the pain away to make it up to me?” He suggested, faintly leaning toward her.

“Shove off Chris!” Elin swatted his hands away from her and he chuckled at that. “How many more times are you going to bribe me into kissing you?”

“How many more times are you going to say no?” He replied, thus answering her question. He would never give up. “Come with me, I've got something that'll warm us up.”

“I swear Chris, if you're solution to warm up is to have sex-”

“You said it not me!” He raised both his hands in surrender and opened his car trunk when they arrived at the car. “Hop on!” He said, patting the inside of the trunk. “I've got tea and coffee, because I didn't know which one you preferred,” he said, grabbing two thermos.

“What do you think?” Elin asked, sitting Indian style with her back against the side of the car.

Chris seemed to seriously think about it, all the while looking at her and biting his lip, unaware – or more likely extremely aware – of the obscenity of the gesture. Elin highly doubted that he did anything randomly.

“You look like a coffee girl to me. Not a soy-milk-cinnamon and whipped cream coffee kinda girl, but a black coffee with extra sugar girl,” he decided after a minute of thinking.

“What makes you so sure?”

He was right. The bastard was right.

“Because you too like to look tough even though you're actually sweet,” he said.

“So smooth,” she chuckled and took the cup he offered her, immediately cradling it between her frozen hands. Elin was stunned to see him switch thermos before pouring himself a cut of hot beverage. “You prefer tea?” She asked in disbelief. “That's so posh!”

“Yeah well, I can't really help it, my father's British,” he explained, shrugging before sitting down too, his legs hanging from the trunk. In a quick movement, he lifted up Elin's legs and placed them over his lap. He leaned on them, and if Elin hadn't been freezing, she would have reprimanded him – at least, that's what she told herself. However it did little to nothing to help stop the goosebumps to rise on her skin.

“Do you speak English?” She asked in perfect English.

Since they both studied English at school, he should be able to understand her, but speaking and speaking were two very different things when it came to foreign languages.

“I sure do,” he replied, smiling bright. “And a little bit of French, but my accent's too terrible, I'm not going to say anything unless my life's hanging on the line,” he joked.

“What? You can't just tell me you speak French and then not prove it, you have to say something now,” Elin objected. He was so cold, and he was warm, and if she listened to herself, she wouldn't have just her legs on him.

“That's exactly what I'm doing, I'm not saying anything,” he laughed, not meeting her pleading eyes. It wasn't very fair but Elin was using her puppy eyes on him anyway.

“Okay, fine! Whatever!” Elin exclaimed after a while, when it was obvious Chris wasn't going to speak French for her.

She pretended to be mad, but Chris, that bastard, wasn't playing fair either, and he trailed his fingers up and down her legs and grinned at her until she couldn't not look at him anymore. It as torture, she could feel his hand delicately wrapping around her ankle and then slip up her calk, tracing waves and loops and by the time he reached her knee she wasn't holding back her breath, in anticipation of his hand sneaking on her thigh and-

“Look, it's snowing!” He pointed out.

If he hadn't spoken just now, Elin would have given in and jumped on his lap before kissing him breathless. But it didn't happen. Instead, she felt up lift up her legs and then he stood up, and before she could ask what on earth he was doing, Elin received a snowball right in the chest.

A/N: You know how it works: if I get feedback, you get the next part

#skam #skam oneshot #skam fanfic #skam imagine #penetrator chris oneshot #penetrator chris #penetrators #skam chris #chris schistad #christoffer schistad #chris schistad oneshot #chris schistad imagine #herman tommeraas #fanfic #play me #writings #christoffer schistad oneshot #christoffer schistad fanfic #chris schistad fanfic

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airadam · 7 years

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Episode 94 : The Illest

"...yo' ass lie like the president!"

- Ice Cube

This month marks twenty years since the death of Biggie Smalls - and yet it somehow doesn't feel like that long ago. The B.I.G man's influence still looms large over the culture and this show is no exception. Several Biggie tracks and others inspired by him dot the episode, alongside choices from the discographies of the late Phife and Nate Dogg. Besides those, a few classics and some fairly modern gems you may have missed!

Catch me DJing at Eastern Bloc Records on April 22nd for Record Store Day and then stay out for their big party in the evening! Just over a week later, check DJ Andy Smith at Whiskey Jar for a Sunday night session :)

Twitter : @airadam13

Playlist/Notes

Ice Cube ft. Chris Rock : You Ain't Gotta Lie (Ta Kick It)

The way things are right now, I should do a whole mixtape strictly on the subject of lying! Chris Rock was an inspired choice to guest on this track from "War & Peace Vol.2 (The Peace Disc)" for the adlibs, while Cube just goes in with venom on an assortment of unnamed dishonest people. Production comes from Chucky Thompson of The Hitmen, and it does have a little of that Bad Boy flavour - you could imagine someone like The Lox on this beat back in the day.

Da Beatminerz : Bentleys & Bitches (Instrumental)

Tough beat right here from instrumental version the "Brace 4 Impak" LP (can't believe it's 16 years old this year!) - definitely an album to have in the collection if the ruggedness is what you seek.

ODB : Hippa To Da Hoppa

Two short verses of battle rhymes in Dirty's own truly inimitable style :) I don't play much ODB here somehow, but he was an MC unlike any other. This isn't one of the most often heard tracks from "Return To The 36 Chambers : The Dirty Version", but it popped into my head as one to bring out this month. The beat was one that RZA had in his archives and that Dirty had mentally bookmarked for himself when the time was right.

Lords Of The Underground : Chief Rocka

I was well pleased to be able to cut this in and have it rhyme with the hook of the preceding track! A classic Hip-Hop single out of Newark, New Jersey, with K-Def on production. This is the video version, taken from the 12" single, with the original of course being available on the "Here Come The Lords" LP. This tune is quality all the way through, but we don't quite make it to the end of the third verse, because it made sense to loop up a notable Mr.Funkee line and then come in with...

The Notorious B.I.G. : Machine Gun Funk

...a track which happens to use it as a hook! The 1-2-3 combo on "Ready To Die" of "Things Done Changed", "Gimme The Loot", and "Machine Gun Funk" is phenomenal, but this is still an underrated cut in my opinion. Easy Mo Bee contributed an absolutely cracking beat, and Biggie's rhymes are enough for his son to rate this as maybe his favourite from the catalogue. Pure fire.

Mary J. Blige ft. The Notorious B.I.G. : Real Love (Remix)

If you weren't around at the time, it's hard to communicate how revolutionary this was. Hip-Hop and R&B were very separate things back then, and it was people like the Harlem DJ Ron G with his innovative and influential blend tapes who showed the possibilities of combining the two. When Puff Daddy (now P.Diddy) went to Uptown Records, he masterminded producing that kind of combination to the studio, and the "What's The 411? (Remix)" album is one of the most well-known examples. Ron G is actually on the intro to this track (just before the part I start playing from), but Puffy and Daddy-O (of Stetsasonic) are credited with the Hip-Hop-heavy production, blending several classic samples together to give Mary a fitting backing - which also works brilliantly for Biggie, when he comes in.

[Buckwild] Sadat X : The Lump Lump (Instrumental)

Classic boom-bap from 1996, Buckwild's bumping instrumental for the Sadat X track discussing... adventures about town. This was a quality single from the "Wild Cowboys" LP - remember when a tune like this could be a club banger?

Curren$y ft. Nate Dogg & Nijay Sincere : Let's Get It Crackin'

This has one of those hooks that just sticks in your head - Nate Dogg can do that to you. Just know that you cannot sing like him :) Anyway, this is kind of an interesting one; you may be familiar with Curren$y's recent career, the "lifestyle rap" and the sonic flavours that come with it, but this 2010 single sounds more like a move for the clubs and the radio - not necessarily a bad thing at all. He's firmly midtempo here over the DJ Taylormade beat with Nate supplying a hook that may not be catchy, but one that works for sure.

A Tribe Called Quest : The Donald

RIP Phife Dawg...aka Don Juice, apparently! Dancehall-accented tune with some nice turntable work (courtesy of DJ Scratch) for the sureshot combination of Tribe and Busta Rhymes on this closer from "We got it from Here...Thank You 4 Your Service", the final ATCQ LP. One of the only things I've heard in months that involves the name "Donald" and doesn't make me want to be sick!

Lexxus : Stress

I'm kind of mad I had to buy the "Mr.Lex" album a second time (on CD) because so many tracks aren't on the vinyl. Still, big tune here with Bobby Konders on the digital production! Lexxus only has two albums, but his singles discography is deep if you like what you hear.

Large Pro : Off Yo Azz On Yo Feet

The live guy with glasses just keeps on going. His latest LP, 2015's "Re:Living" was a concise eleven tracks, with this being one that just stuck in my head. Self-produced, of course, with the snare smacking away relentlessly in the mix. Lyrically - I guess it's motivational music, after a fashion? The hook certainly leaves no doubt about the message :)

The Alchemist : The Thirst

Thinking about it recently, I realised that in this post-anthem world with an explosion of music availability, Alchemist has quietly worked his way into the pantheon of greatest all-time producers. A nice dark beat from the first "Rapper's Best Friend" beat compilation.

Mega Ran : 10 Gamer Commandments

Random aka Mega Ran is best known for his skill at blending of video game culture and Hip-Hop, and he gives just a piece of it on this cut from his "Notorious R.A.N - Ready To Live" tribute album. Twenty years after the passing of Biggie, Mega Ran reworks some of his tracks in tribute, and this bonus track is of course his flip of "Ten Crack Commandments"; a step-by-step booklet on how to conduct yourself in the gaming world ;)

Kaytranada ft. Craig David : Got It Good

A year ago we heard a Ras Kass track based on this instrumental, but I thought it was worth giving you the original! Coming strong for the crown of best producer to come out of Haiti, the Canadian-raised Kaytranada made some serious noise among those who know last year with the "99.9%" album, and this was a standout cut for me. The highly underrated Craig David supplies a smooth vocal performance at the high end while the beat bumps along at the bottom - great blend.

Omniscence : Golden

North Carolina coming through! The likes of Bandcamp is a godsend for allowing independent releases to be easily obtainable by the fans, and after putting out stuff like the previously-unreleased "The Raw Factor" digitally, Omniscence then moved on to bringing new material onto the platform. This piece from "The God Hour" has some bump but the gentle keyboard work is a fitting backing to Omni's two contemplative verses.

Geto Boys : Leanin' On You

A group often missed when we discuss Hip-Hop legends, Houston's Geto Boys went through lineup changes early in their life, then settled for a while before changing again, and finally coming back together with what most consider the canonical MC lineup - Scarface, Willie D, and Bushwick Bill. Here, we take a reflective track from their seventh LP, "The Foundation", with each MC taking a turn to describe a missed person or a struggle in their own lives. The production comes from someone you may not associate with this style, and also may not have thought about in a while - Mr.Mixx of 2 Live Crew, a pioneer of the Miami Bass sound. This certainly has some heft in the mix but rather than the accelerated beats that he made his name with, this sample re-work is slow and somewhat solemn, perfectly matching the lyrics.

Oddisee : Brixton

A bit of an old one (2010) from Oddisee's "Traveling Man" instrumental album; I don't know if he made this beat in Brixton or just took inspiration from there, but it's quality as usual. I'll likely play you something from his new album "The Iceberg" in the coming months.

Willie Evans Jr. : Nerd English

Finally, we come all the way back to the theme from the episode opener! A very amusing but sincere track about keeping it all the way real, staying in your lane...however you want to put it :) It reminds us that trying to be something we're not is stressful, hard work, potentially trouble, and just generally undignified. A solid tune from the "Introducin'" LP that always makes me smile.

Please remember to support the artists you like! The purpose of putting the podcast out and providing the full tracklist is to try and give some light, so do use the songs on each episode as a starting point to search out more material. If you have Spotify in your country it's a great way to explore, but otherwise there's always Youtube and the like. Seeing your favourite artists live is the best way to put money in their pockets, and buy the vinyl/CDs/downloads of the stuff you like the most!

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