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thegongoozlerreacts · 9 months

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Nimona

watching nimona on netflix

spoilers under the cut

(i already watched a lil of the movie a few days ago so this starts on the part where Ballister is knighted)

VROOO OH MY GOD I CANNOT BRLIEVE THAT JUST HAPPENED

WHO TF SABOTAGED HIM LIKE CUZ IT WAS DEF A SABOTAGE HELLO ????

Ballister does not deserve this

lmaooo Nimona ??

LMAO he thinks she’s 10 💀

what ?? job ?? help me im

Nimona is cute

i understand why everyone is saying Ballister has those big wet eyes

damn he really lost his arm

i feel so bad for Ballister :(((( he was sabotaged :((( someone messed up his sword :((

?!?! how did she get in

damn she’s projecting

LMAO SHE JUST PUNCHED THE CODE ???

i like the aesthetic being a mix of medieval and futuristic stuff its very cool

bro Nimona im

BROOO HELP.

omg they are gay

ohhhh she’s a shapeshifter

help the guy is so confused this is so funny

all the animals she’s turning into is pink

reminds me of beast boy from teen titans

i love Ballister but he’s kinda pathetic LMAOAOAOOA

why is she still calling him boss he does not want any part in this

KSKDJSK SHE STILL THINKS AMBROSIUS IS HIS NEMESIS

the thunder clap

Nimona’s just doing this cuz she’s bored n he’s an outcast too wild

i get it tho she’s just looking for someone who understands her

she’s so eager to murder someone 💀

why does this feel like she’s forcing him to adopt her like

i hate these guards this todd guy is annoying like stfu bro

todd shut up im gonna punch you

Ambrosius no :(((

damn favoritism

wait did she just eat a rat

SHE ATE THE RAT SHE ATE IT ?!?!?!

not careless whisper im 💀

the guard talking about what kind of otter it was lmao

DAMN NIMONA NO WAY HELPPP MOCKING HIM PUBLICLY LIKE THAT WILD

‘I’m not pushing you, I’m encouraging you forward!’ LMAOAOAO

oh no theres security cameras

todd stfu

um ew ? that pizza is from the floor ?

Ballister stfu ur not accepting either dude dont even 💀

bro cant read the subtext

is she telling the truth

oh help lmao she’s just lying im cackling

bro they know ur there 💀

this mean really is pathetic thats so funny

i think you should wear different clothes Ballister

HELPPPP NIMONA ??? BRO’S HAUNTING THE GUY THATS SO FUNNY

THEY KUST KIDNAPPED HIM BRO

Also the way Ambrosius? that look in his face? the way he couldnt shoot Ballister? bro,,, ur not slick im onto you

is the guy even still alive ???

Nimona is very chill about the arrow in her leg

damn i,, he’s giving caring father vibes lmao

HELP THE GUY THEY FORGOT ABT HIM THATS SO FUNNY IM DYING

‘Who’d protect Todd?!?!’ CACKLINGGGGG IM CACKLING

!!! OH MY GOD IT WAS THE DIRECTOR

i knew it dude she gave off major villain vibes

Nimona’s so mean thats so funny im cackling

??? Ballister stop making excuses bro

they did brainwash him good bro

why did the director sabotage him tho

‘the man i love, my best friend’ KFHEODJSIDU GAY

HELP ME HE’S JEALOUS IM DYING ‘He’s got a new best friend, what’s that about?’

‘Arm chopping is not a love language’ wise words from Nimona and Ambrosius

NOOOO THE PROOOFFF I HATE YOU TODD I HATE YOU

gasp dude i can FEEL the betrayal

nice !! chaos !!

i really like the animation and art in this movie, its very nice

oh no theyre fighting :((

HELP THE GUY STILL FOCUSED ON THE KIND OF OTTER IT IS

damn :(( theyre fightng :(( the gays are fighting im devastated bro

TODD SHOULD BE THE ONE TO BE PUNCHED IN THE FACE IM GONNA PUNCH TODD

oH NO NIMONA NOOOOO ODHWOFJEID

OH LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOOO !!!!!!!!!!

oh no Nimona :(((

oh she flipped the table

‘And I’m the monster?’ :((((

bro :(( this is so sad

awww Ballister suggesting they go over the wall together to make her feel better

aww !! theyre bonding !!

so u killed her cuz u couldnt stop being narrow-minded

DID SHE JUST STAB AMRBOSIUS NOOOOOOOO FUDE NO AMBROSIUS WTF

oh its Nimona

HELP THE DIRECTOR’S FACE WHEN NIMONA SHAPESHIFTED BACK

oh hey theyre playing Monopoly but magic

oh hey they posted it on their version of youtube

dancing shark !!! aww theyre so cute

oh shit Ambrosius is mad !!!

bro the director killed the queen dont listen to her !!

oh theyre happy :)) but something’s gonna happen n then they wont be happy :((

LIAR !! IT IS HER !! but damnit she is indeed a shapeshifter but no !!

bro everyone’s mistrusting each other now

ITS A TRAP ITS A TRAP ITS A TRAP

Ambrosius u ggot it all wrong !!! no !!! NOOOO !!!!!!!!

what is that scroll

she is just a child !!

‘Because I love you’ !!!!! OHO SHIT BRO TODD SAW IM GONNA KILL TODD

oh shit oh my god holy shit i

?? Todd bro leave

omg was she Gloreth’s friend ?? but that was thousands of years ago?? how old is Nimona ??

who is this blonde girl

oh no :(( SHES A CHILD

bro the villagers were the one who set it on fire

omg yeah it is Gloreth

BRO <//3 I CANNOT BELIEVE

oh shit whats happening

shut the FUCK up todd

um what is that

oooh its like a giant shadowy mass

oh thats kinda cool actually but i feel so bad for Nimona :((

bro the institute sucks man

she’s just trying to get to the statue of Gloreth

!! NIMONA DONT DIE !!

LETS GO BALLISTER STOP HER FROM KILLING HERSELF

youre not alone Nimona :(( yyoure not alone sobbing shaking crying youre not alone !!!

???? stfu director u killed the queen for noth

AMBROSIUS ?!?!?!

oooh now she’s the opposite of the shadow thing very cool

?? wait she’s still alive right

bro what where is she ?!?!?! theres no way she died ?!?!

oh the wall is broken

THEYRE GAY !! LETS GO THEYRE TOGETHER THEY KISSED

ooh they go beyond the wall now very cool

starts crying that drawing is so cute wtf

damn the lair was left in the same way they left it that night

!! oh nice she’s there awesome

this is a banger credits song

i wanna read the comic now

#nimona

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markets · 2 years

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Ok ANGIE MARKETS ROMANCE LESSON. Like get into comfy pajamas start kicking ur feet back and forth... angie markets romance lesson. So i know that the conceptt of the friend zone is kind of like heavily clowned on atp bc of guys who get into a friendship with a girl and go Oh noooo im in the friend zone booo why cant i get any pussy😡😡😡 but honestly IT IS REAKL in a sense... Like with friends especially best friends i feel like after a certain point in the friendship youre either crazy in love with them and totally screwed or if things continue as they are you could never see them that way ever. idek exactly when it is all i know is that its there. But also heavy emphasis on the if things continue as they are part cuz if ur the former and ur best friend is the latter thus putting you in that sort of friend zone genuinely the only way out of it is to just SNAP OUT somehow im not explaining well at all i sound like a girlboss tiktoker whos like If u dont snap him back for 3 hours on the dot u will make him obsessed with ur manifestation mind powers😈 but i swear i have a point. BC why do u think there are so many movies where someone gets in a life or death scenario or almost moves away or gets with someone else and THEN the love interest realizes they want them. i very strongly believe that everyone has at least a couple of people who if they really thought about them and their friendship they would fall for BC possibly the absolute crazy-insanest ive ever been was over one of my best friends who i knew i would never have feelings for like id thought about it and everything but i just knew it would never happen. until his birthday came up and i was writing him a rlly long letter thanking him for being my friend and talking abt how awesome he was in ways i had never rlly put into words even in my head Like i was writing "youre so this and that" and then i was like "wait actually he kind of IS so this and that..." and then i went crazy. Like i even went crayz on the paper i started word vomitting about every good quality he has cuz it was like a revelation i shouldve taken a picture of it so i could look at it and get grossed out. But im currently in that zone with him RN and i cant fake a life or death scenario or get a job offer in another country or get bitches or make him write me a letter and its just UGHHHHHHH. BC my hypothetical advice to anyone in this situation would probably be to distance yourself a little because lots of times people dont think about things they have until theyre gone Absence makes the heart grow fonder and all that. But its like why would i do that hes my friend i like talking to him. so its like Well. the romance lesson is dont be in my situation which is the moral of the whole blog

#angiemarkets.txt

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haruhey · 2 years

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chronological thoughts of twd 11x16

(i didn’t get cake, let’s see what happens)

- omg i fully forgot about leah omg

- omg r they gonna smoke maggie out

- lance is certifiably insane

- timeskip again omg

- are they calling it act of god because of leah’s cult past

- 19 HOURS AND ONE ACT OF GOD AGO STOP WHY IS THAT FUNNY TO ME

- i have no subtitles i dont know what they’re saying omg hershel’s going somewhere he doesnt want to go to but IDK WHERE THAT IS

- aw maggie is sad :(

- hershel is so cute

- omg not the two face coin

- DID THEY HAVE SEX

- THOUGHT WE HAD A LOVELY NIGHT DIDNT WE oh they definitely had sex

- stfu i don’t want to think about physics

- stop eugene is actually so romantic

- DARYLLL

- omg they’re gonna try and ditch

- oh my god that guy punched through the walker

- wow he is so bald

- wait are they going to the commonwealth i don’t know what she said at the beginning I DIDNT HAVE SUBTITLES IM ESL IM SORRY

- literally what did maggie do to you she just didn’t want to join ur stupid communities jesus christ let it GO u white man

- omg elijah make your move

- OH ITS THE OTHER COMMUNITY

- omg maggie rlly went ‘thoughts n concerns?’

- wait hold on negan and maggie have a spinoff right how is that gonna work for negan and annie? is annie gonna die or smth?

- NO NOT MAGGIE STARTING TO TRUST NEGAN NOOOO NO NOOOOO MAGGIE I WAS ROOTING FOR YOU

- omg what she said before was RIVERBEND i couldn’t hear it through her accent i’m so stupid

- maggie rhee DOES have big balls. beach ball sized lady nuts, if you will

- i want annie and maggie to be gfs

- no ew not buzzing bugs ew i’m sorry i’m out

- gabriel is so fucking TIRED omg i feel you

- oh god are they gonna try and kill daryl and aaron and gabriel

- YES ACTION SEQUENCE

- damn they really hate team family huh

- YES DARYL FUCKING GUN WHIP HIM HE DESERVED IT

- hes so fucking cool daryl give me a chance

- god theyre so fucking cool

- OMG GABRIEL WITH THE SHIN STAB

- damn these stormtroopers really are storm troopers their aims r shit

- oh no hes going for the walkie talkie isnt he

- omg daryl fuck yes fuck up that bald headed guy

- DARYL GETTING THE LAST WORD FUCK HES SO FUCKING COOL

- “he ain’t here no more” WITH THAT ANGLE WAS CHEFS KISS

- i hate pamela idc idc idc idc

- that blue colour is fire tho

- they have so many pencils holy shit

- damn pamela rlly said fuck them kids its not my fault they’re poor

- is max gonna get caught

- please let her be the girlboss she is destined to be

- i forgot what she’s looking for omg 😭😭

- fuck it’s sebastian

- i hate sebastian so much

- is he drunk

- i hate this scene

- i hate him so much

- literally what is this bug motif i do not get it

- WHY IS THIS SHOW SO DARK I CANT SEE ANYTHING

- OH MY GOD THEY SET UP A BOMB

- damn leah rlly fucked that kid up huh

- is that jdm’s kid as a walker

- AHAHHAA LEAH SAID “damn that sucks ://“

- these bugs are making it hard for me to hear omg

- are they gonna kill hornsby

- omg the traps r reminding daryl of leah cause arent they the traps leah set up in 10x18 when he met her

- omg are they at leah’s camp

- oh oh oh oh oh nooooo

-i still don’t understand the importance of the bugs

- damn leah’s gonna have a lot of back pain from standing that way

- EZEKIELLLLLLL I LOVE YOU

- HELL YEAH WE’RE DOING THIS RESIST THE COMMONWEALTH FUCK YEAH

- oh no maggie its a trap its a trap maggie oh no

- oh so it wasnt a trap?

- oh no no music means TRAP

- omg she got leah or what

- damn leah got her but its okay maggie has plot armour

- omg another cabin

- maggie’s eyes match her jacket

- hes just going around touching blood like that damn what if you have a paper cut or smth :/

- THEYRE BOTH SHAKING AND ITS KINDA FUNNY IM SORRY IK ITS SUPPOSED TO BE AN INTENSE MOMENT BUT IM LAUGHING

- omg maggie fuck her up

- oh maggie is getting fucked up

- oh damn just a single gunshot

- NOO THAT MEANS CAROL NEVER MET LEAH

- good job daryl ilysm

- OMG DARYL INJURED HORNSBY FUCK YEAH

- hornsby lowkey giving joker realness

- damn maggie really got fucked up

- hershel said fuck negan ✋ but annie is cool ❤️

- max’s table is so tiny

- PAMELA MILTON IS LYING TO YOU DAMN RIGHT SHE IS

- NOOO THE COMMONWEALTH FLAG OVER ALEXANDRIA

- NOOOOO THE COMMONWEALTH FLAGS OVER HILLTOP

- LANCE WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK

- never trust a white man fr fr

- omg they’re explaining the bugs

- omg angela kang said it’s pathetic fallacy idiot

- SASHA

- NOOO NOT HERSHEL’S WATCH

- “that is a fight of pure hatred”

- okay but maggie was right it was fully leah’s fault

- “to him, there’s no choice to make. the choice is maggie” PERIODDDDDDT TEAM FAMILY ALL THE WAY

- “to hornsby, this is a no good very bad day.” stop angela is actually hahaha knee slap

- okay now that i finished season 11b what do i do with my life :(

- i miss carol too :(( </3

#haruviews #twd season 11

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thisdreamplace · 3 years

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ashamed to say the 3D reflects our true inner reality, yes? my ENTIRE family has turned against me, after some atrocious conflicts in which they all ganged up on me nd judged me, name-calling, very hurtful things too, provoked me. i been dealing with some serious mental uh 'issues' on my own nd when this happend i was already on the verge of a breakdown nd the good news is while the conflict happened i kept telling myself theyre only reflecting me u can get thru it etc. Later i looked at the hard facts nd realised some of the hurtful things they said were my deep secret feelings abt myself. BUT my question is why the HELL cant they talk to me like normal people? confronting one person vs whole family, why?! i felt so small nd like an object, nd not a single person defended me. am i not a part of the family?

Part 2 is simply its been a week and theyve still been cold towards me as if I yelled AT THEM ABT THEIR PAINFUL 'tRuThS' in front of EVERYONE LMAOOO. At first if i was around we'd have dinner together while they'd all talk to each other like best friends aka sickeningly overly friendly while completely IGNORING me while i sat there. i could tolerate it. I WAS PISSED AT THEM TOO Now its too painful. They're having dinner without telling me, yesterday didnt leave enough food for me knowing i hadnt eaten, serve tea/snacks without my portion. i honestly feel so unspeakably trigered nd sad. worst is these things r reminding me of deep school memories when id feel excluded like this by other kids at parties or class activities nd its like im back there. anyway im glad i controled myself a bit nd didnt counter with horrid things abt them to THEM yet they think they can say the same to me. im so hurt rn i cant even tell u lol i was okay the whole week but now its too much,, ive been crying the whole day

thing is, ik this seems like 'im a victim oh noooo they ganged up on meee'. Nope its more like how do i change myself to change them?! u could say why not talk to them how they made u feel, except whenever ive defended myself in the past regarding hurtful things they/anyone in family did, the siblings/parents would say irritating things like: "oh so YOU'RE the one hurt? Oh thats right, its because YOU'RE right! yes, yes, you're always right. Forgive me for saying anything against the perfect person u are." Or one of them says: "You?! I hurt YOU? What about me? You don't care about me! So you think what ur doing is okay?" or "no, who do YOU think u are to tell ME what to do?" it just goes in circles like this! i dont deserve to hurt myself or do smth to myself even if they dont give a damn, even if years of silent suffering of the 'mEntAL pRoBlEms' (which my lovely parents have already told me is my fault years ago, hence why I NEVER show it to them, unless im crying too much then lol they just mock me, but idc abt THAT bcoz now ik i hav a right to let out my emotions)). i mean this is worse rjan usual. its kinda insane nd when guests come they start talking to me as if nothing's wrong then when they leave, they ignore me!

this whole twisted dynamics, feelijf left out nd helpless is ig some crazy assumptin from childhood of being alone nd unable to defend myself. plus when they argye with anyone, they become overly self-righteous nd over the years its clear they can only scream, blame the scapegoat and never talk abt serious matter like normal ppl. And yes, in the past when i bring this up, they like to reply with stuff like: "no YOU'RE the one who doesnt talk to US bla bla" like, when i do u just shut me down? have belittled my mental 'issues', mocked me when im at my worst, stabbed me with cruel silent treatments nd thinking its alright "bcoz of self-righteousness blegh". Or maybe i think its okay for them to punish me? or whatev? Like law says u get what u r. if these ~~~ keep doing this to me, im doubly ashamed to say this means im the one at fault?! i let this monster assunptin grow nd now idk what to do. the worst thing imo is how i failed to tell them,even if they ignored me in the past, how i feel when anything like this or a conflict happens nd none of them stand up for me, or at least are neutral to me. bcoz now if i do, they say nope, u dont care what we do, YOUR the shameless one :! so yeah they hav the advantage of 'numbwrs' while im too afraid to stand up for myself lol. btw they never apologize nd i suspect they expect ME to apologize to TYEM bcoz everything's already ruined bcoz of 'me'..... i give up on them, i really do, but my heart hurts. Either i harden my heart, nd save up to move out, OR i try to change my self or whatev assumptins i have. But how do i do that? i try afirming: "my familys so nice to me, im respected by them" but it feels so fake tears literally enter my eyes lol

firstly i want to say, thank you for coming here to vent and being open about your feelings. it’s so important sometimes to just let it all out, without holding back. so that way you can move forward more bravely, to create the life you truly want to experience. that being said, i am going to be completely honest with you here in hopes that perhaps it may inspire you and you will be ready to do what is needed for the life you truly want to experience.

“BUT my question is why the HELL cant they talk to me like normal people?” -> “i felt so small nd like an object, nd not a single person defended me. am i not a part of the family?” here is your question, and here is your answer. i think that being completely honest when venting your feelings can actually be so helpful, because if you read back what you have said, you will be able to clearly find the patterns that are creating your personal hell. FEELING IS THE SECRET. ASSUMPTIONS HARDEN INTO FACT. the true way you feel, becomes your experience. Feelings/assumptions/beliefs come first, and the experiences come second to confirm them. That’s all that’s happening here.

i am glad that you were able to keep your reactions to a minimum! that's wonderful and as many of us know, it can sometimes be hard to do in such hurtful circumstances. but you managed to do it, this shows just a small glimpse of the power you truly hold within. although emotionally you may feel out of control, there is still the choice to choose better for yourself which you demonstrated through your reaction to them. good for you!

the truth is, you acknowledge the victim mindset to seem like you’re not engulfed in it, but no, you’re still very clearly engulfed in it. as i have said before, you can’t be a VICTOR and feel bad about it. feeling bad about taking responsibility, about everyone is you pushed out, about any of these types of concepts automatically shows a victim mindset. talking to them won’t do anything, because there are no second causes. you could talk to them nicely, you could be the nicest person in the world. but you can’t pretend your way out of your inner world. your inner world is the one and only cause of your experiences. until you change the story you tell yourself, they will stay the same. this is a hard pill to swallow sometimes. and it can feel heavily, because it’s ultimately only you’re choice. they can’t change until you do. the heaviness of the situation may make it seem impossible to turn around, but that’s just an illusion. your emotional attachment to the situation makes it seem so real and hard to change, but no. that’s just an illusion too. however, it’s ultimately your choice. Do you want to take responsibility for your life, or do you want to keep being tossed around like your lost at sea, victim to the merciless angry waves? Because we always have a choice. No one chooses your inner world, you do. No one can go into your mind and decide things for you, that’s only your job.

you can harden your heart, but who would be the one who suffers more? It won’t be your family, i can assure you. it’ll only be you. by doing that, you keep that old story alive and therefore you keep experiencing it. you keep those stories alive that are desperately showing themselves to you, saying “LET US GO.” but you remain identified with those painful stories, so you grip onto them tight. you keep on thinking of possible reasons for their behavior, but you could just read your entire ask back to yourself and you’ll see every reason. your reactions, your beliefs about them, your emotional pain. its your refusal to let those things go, and focus on what you truly want that keeps you in this state and keeps them in this state. sure it’s painful to face the responsibility at first, but it’s not a blame game. thinking its about blame is just a misunderstanding of the teachings. it’s not about they’re so perfect and you’re so not, so you have to change your ways. it’s about this is how life works here. this is about... you can ONLY ever experience self. whatever is going on within, will be reflected in your outer world. it’s about how they can’t change, UNTIL YOU DO. so instead of feeling sorry for yourself, you have to decide to give yourself the gift of a wonderful life because you have that power too. you stop deciding they can be in control of your experience, and you decide your experience yourself.

to change your assumptions, stop trying to affirm over them and actually face what’s keeping you from believing in your desires. yeah, it’s going to be painful and uncomfortable. but you need to face the pain that you’re running away from, so that it can finally be released. you have to realize, it only stayed true because you believed it to be true. and if you are to live a life free from that story, and experience a more desirable story, then you must let the pain go. give yourself love and grace as you work through it, and know that there is a more beautiful side of life that awaits for you to accept it in.

No One To Change But Self

There is Nothing to Forgive

How to Sit with Your Triggers

give yourself the time you need, it's not race. the love that you wish to experience exists, allow it in. 💖

#eiypo

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theworldsoul · 3 years

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Uhh warning VENT!!! Talks about self harm and shit... also religious bullshit and gender bullshit??? Like I'm really trans and also Catholicism really fucked me up so if ur uncomfy with that just... skip this post. Also if ur Christian and can't handle seeing ur shit defaced then skip this post. Also if ur gonna clown on this post as "cringe atheism" then fuck you because I'm literally coping with pain lol

:readmore:

Anways now that the disclaimer is over... here comes the real shit.

I... have been going through a LOT lately, jesus christ. I was HAPPY today, yknow? I thought I was gonna be happy the whole day.

I was dancing today. That's how happy I was. For the first time in like... a whole year... I was really so happy. I thought I was gonna cry. But then I got home. And well,,,, I did cry. But not from happiness. I just got my math grade back. A fucking 49 percent. MY AVERAGE RIGHT NOW IS A 57 PERCENT. I MIGHT FAIL MATH 20. I MIGHT HAVE TO RETAKE IT. oh my god I'm such a failure I cant do anything ever i try SO fucking hard but honestly??? I cant fucking do this. I can't, I'm not mentally capable. "Just work harder"... BITCH I AM WORKING AS HARD AS I CAN. I AM SPENDING HOURS AND HOURS OF MY LIFE STUDYING AND PRACTICING. I'm starting to think that how hard i try doesn't even fucking matter because I'm STUPID and all i know how to do is PAINT SHIT!!!! NOBODY CARES ABOUT ART!!!! IF I FAIL THIS CLASS I MIGHT NOT BE ABLE TO HAVE A HOUSE IN THE FUTURE!!!! A HOUSE!!!!!

I dont even want to be a fucking orthodontist. Okay??? I wanna do what I love: painting. But NOOOO. I have to get a "respectable" job that will "pay me enough money to live". WHY SHOULD I HAVE TO MAKE MONEY TO LIVE??? WTF??? THATS LITERALLY SO FUCKED UP. everyone deserves to live (unless they like murdered someone? I guess? Idk) BUT LIKE I DIDNT KILL NO ONE SO WHATS ALL THIS BS ABOUT WORKING TO LIVE???? WTF??? I rly gotta do all this shit I hate, all this shit I'm mentally incapable of doing... so i can have a house. Fuck this. Yknow with my average at a 57... I might fail this class even if I get a really good grade on my next quiz. Can you fucking believe it??? I'm literally so fucking stupid I cant even pass a dumb fucking math class god i hate myself. I cant fail this class. I've NEVER failed a class. Almost failed... but never HAD TO RETAKE A CLASS. that's the ultimate failure. I think my parents would hate me if I failed this.

And on top of that... I'm really struggling with uhhh, dysphoria and body image... and it's so fucking horrible man I want to rip all my skin off I want to suffocate god I want to KILL him I want to MAKE HIM SUFFER. I want to gouge his eyes out and force him to eat them. WHY WOULD HE MAKE ME LIKE THIS????? WHY????? WHATS THE POINT IN MAKING A CHILD SUFFER SO MUCH???

What did I ever do that was so wrong I deserved all this punishment???

Well FUCK YOU and fuck your stupid book and FUCK THESE STUPID FUCKING SAINTS. WASNT THERE SUPPOSED TO BE A WHOLEASS ANGEL WATCHING OVER ME?? PROTECTING ME??? WHERE THE FUCK IS THAT BITCH NOW?? WHERE WAS THAT BITCH WHEN... when I was being bullied? When I literally wanted to kill myself?

Where was that guardian angel when I kept making THE SAME MISTAKE over and over again and I KNEW it was wrong but I kept doing it anyways because it was the only way I could feel like soemone cared about me????

I bet that angel motherufcker KNEW they didnt care. DID THE ANGEL EVER ONCE HELP ME??? NOOOO. all those times I was bruised and broken... all those times...

Man, I was just a kid. I was SO fucking young. And I would come like a lamb to the slaughter and kneel. I would pray... ask for guidance. I would pray the rosary too, I would read the bible and try my very best to understand it, I would go to church and volunteer at church and do my best to be a Good Boy and never sin. I did EVERYTHING right. I literally fasted at some point, like a religious fast. I was devoted...

Honestly though? I think it was the same mistake I make over and over again, except not with a real person.

And you have me NOTHING. GO GIRL, GIVE US NOTHING!!!!!!! I literally used to self-punish for the sins I couldnt bring myself to confess. At my communion, there was one sin I didn't tell because I knew it was unforgivable. I still hate myself for that. But man, I used to try and do all sorts of things to somehow cleanse myself of it. I figured THAT whole ordeal was why I was constantly being tortured.

But I was stupid and I am stupid and that makes NO SENSE because if the thing I'm being punished for happened when I was a child, WHY DID THE PUNISHMENT BEGIN AT MY BIRTH????

They used to tell me that god handcrafted every part of me specifically for some sort of grand reason.

Why.

Really? This bitch really "handcrafted" me just so I could cry and cut myself nearly every night??? Fuck that. Like why would you make me this way. It hurts more than you can IMAGINE. The only reason I'm not dead yet is because of ME, MY strength, not any of the bullshit YOU gave me. I hate when people say "oh, god made u so hardworking" or "oh, god made you so passionate/hopeful/full of love/fiery/whatever" LIKE STFU BITCH THAT WAS NOT SKYDADDY THAT WAS ME!!!

you wanna know what he made me?

dysphoric, ugly af, yeah.... but the worst part?

He made me feel.

That doesn't sound bad, right? Well it's the worst thing on the list. It is my downfall, my Achilles heel or whatever. This emotions shit??? It RUINED my life. My whole life I was cursed with a fucking monster inside me. I kept trying to tell everyone that it wasnt me!!! I kept telling them that it felt like I was being possessed. But adults are SHIT. I hate adults. I want to kill them all. They failed me and their god failed me. None of them every listened to me. All they knew how to do was punish, punish, punish.

It's like giving an allergic kid some peanuts and then getting angry at them for going into anaphylactic shock or whatever. Nobody ever thought "hey, why don't we stop giving the kid peanuts?"

ALL THE ADULTS AROUND ME ACT LIKE CHILDREN AND THEY ALWAYS HAVE ACTED LIKE CHILDREN FUCK ADULTS

Anwyays that's how I ended up with all these unresolved issues,.... emotion is a tough one, like I literally dont have the ability to control my emotions at all, I can try and like, repress them but I cant make myself actually feel less.

My emotion hurts more than anyone else's and nobody ever understood that. I would tell them that it hurts, it PHYSICALLY HURTS, and they would say I just wanted attention. I would tell them I literally couldnt control what my body said and did, I would tell them I felt like A PUPPET ON STRINGS and no one believed me. Fuck them.

Healthy coping mechanisms? I literally self ship with Snape to cope. I literally self ship with characters my brain made up and put in my dreams to cope. I used to hurt myself so much trying to feel loved and cared about irl. Fiction is so much better. I sound like a loser but its TRUE. The sort of thing I need, the sort of love I need is like... a parent. You can't go looking for a parent in a romantic partner, it fucks everything up and you end up... well, let's just say it proabbly wasnt the most legal thing, but I wasnt thinking strisght at all I mean dude I was So fucked in my head when I did all that...whatever...anyways so thank u for fiction!!! I love fiction. Want to kill someone? Draw it. Then you'll feel much better!!! And you dont go to jail!!!

Well the pics here... idk, it was really calming to do this. It's new, painting over religious shit. I was gonna do the whole bible but I already burnt that shit so.... and I was going to cut but I'm trying really hard to stay clean... like really hard. It's so weird and like, addicting, once I hit styro I don't want to stop, but also it kinda transfers the emotional pain to physical pain, making it way easier to deal with. I just can't keep doing that because I KNOW it's bad and look I thoguht I was clean for a whole year but then I fucked up and WOW, GUESS WHAT MADE ME RELAPSE??? MATH CLASS!!!!

Whatever anyways here are my wonderful works of art I made while crying and cursing god (like I'm so pissed at all this catholic bs I believed in him again just to swear at him lol)

.... but imagine for a moment, a better world. One in whcih these saints whose images I've defaced are actually good people... a world in which they SEE ME AND THEY HEAR ME... and I go unpunished.... and I am embraced by someone who UNDERSTANDS.

I think I would cry.

Too bad that world doesnt exist and I just made it up to try and feel a bit better. Whatever, whatever. I painted the things, they're gonna dry. I work hard, I'm gonna do good on my quiz, I hope. I just have to be making it through, that's all it is, work work work without a break but I can proabbly do it. I'm really slipping I admit like the mental health is slipping it's getting worse like I havent had a "fuck I am afab" moment in such a long time so yeah...

Anwyays I feel so much better now that I did my little art project yknow???

#ughhh #parent your fucking kids #religious bullshit #adults dont fuck up the children you are in charge of challenge #religion don't fuck up trans kids challenge #good dick really breaks a motherfucker #vent

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punkscowardschampions · 4 years

Text

Ali & Carly

Ali: How do you like your 🥚🍳 in the morning? Carly: no 🐣 Carly: ha Ali: 🐔 didn't show up in your roost later, did he? Carly: he must be scared of you Carly: 🔮 Ali: or my 🐺 Carly: maybe Ali: eggs aside, how you feeling, chick? Carly: 😷🤒🤕🤢🤮 Ali: 👎👎👎👎👎 Ali: unacceptable! Ali: what do you need, kill or cure? Carly: cure forever Carly: im too young to die Ali: I'll swing by with my witches brew Ali: actually doesn't taste like ☠ either Ali: pure 😇 Carly: aw Carly: really? Ali: 'course, not gonna half-arse the job Ali: and it makes a full pot, no sense in not sharing the 💚 Carly: 💙 Carly: wat does it taste like? Ali: like Christmas 🎄🎅🤶🎁❄️🌨️☃️✨🌟 Carly: 😋😊🥰 Ali: it's got ginger and peppermint in Ali: the only other person hanging out their arse is my brother and he would rather die 'cos he's grumpy 👴 man energy so Carly: no 🦃 tho yea?! ha Carly: oh no he sounds like my da Carly: which cute bro is it? Ali: definitely not 😂 Ali: some greens but not sprouts Ali: the freckly one Carly: did u heal my heart to 💔😢? Carly: course itd be the most beautiful one Ali: oh no, you're delirious Ali: I'll come quick 😜 Carly: dont b jealous 👼 hes only the most beautiful boy Ali: 😏 My ma'll be gutted Carly: do u have a tea for that? Ali: 🍋 'cos she's so bitter? Ali: I'll see if she goes for it Carly: noooo 🍯 so she wont be Ali: you're too sweet yourself, Walsh Carly: aw Carly: but ur the 1 who saved me Carly: ur the sweetest Ali: anyone would Carly: nah ur the 1st Carly: not just saying it to u get ur fairy wings Ali: had to fly away from that particular 🐔 plenty myself Ali: harmless and flightless though he is, most the time Carly: yea Carly: he talks about u wen hes been on it Carly: the 1 that flew away Ali: uh oh Ali: can't let a boy ✂ your wings Ali: ever Ali: ever Ali: 👼🏽 🐔 🐧 🐦 🐤 🐣 🐥 🦆 🦢 🦅 🦉 🦚 🦜 🦇 🐝 🦋 🐞 🦗 🦟 🐓 🦃 🕊 Carly: im 😕💫🙃 but idk if those were the guests i danced with Carly: did get a cute lil 🎶🎤 to fall asleep to tho 💙🕊 Carly: 🌚🌝🌛🌜🌞 Ali: very 👸 of you though Ali: I can 👀 it Carly: my ma is trying to make me clean Carly: 🐇🐁🐀🐿🦔🐾 pls Ali: also unacceptable Ali: not 'til you're better Ali: use my wings to fly through and 🤞 he don't get the wrong idea about who I'm there to see Carly: [sends her a pic of whatever caravan mess she caused last night that her mum is raging about] Carly: so u can play a game of spot whats got her 😠 Carly: cuz idk Ali: Fun 🧐🤔🤨 Ali: angry mothers are my forte Ali: [does the circling the hazzards moment on the pic] Carly: making her angry is mine but nah to knowing y ever ever Carly: k ur cute & smart Carly: 🌟 Ali: it's rarely logical, but 🤫 on that or it's hulk levels in 0-60 Ali: how are you this nice when you're 😷🤒🤕🤢🤮 Ali: that's a skill, rare one at that 💎✨ Carly: my da is looking green must of had his own 🎶🍻💃 ha Carly: idk i can b nicer? but k now i know ronan aint been talking bout me when hes 🍺 or 💊 Ali: can be a tea party for three Ali: have to bring his own 🎩 though Ali: not to me anyway Ali: but as you can tell Ali: 🐺 keeps all the 🐓🐓🐓 away Carly: 🐇🐇🐇♠️♣️♥️♦️🐇🐇🐇 Carly: she is fierce Ali: she likes to think so Ali: 🐶 really Carly: course ur not scared of her silly Carly: u love her Carly: im a 🐈 person ha Ali: [sends her a load of pictures of Bluebeard she didn't ask for rather than being like do I love her hmm] Carly: AW!!!! Carly: 🥰🤗 Ali: he's captain ☠🏴 but there's always room aboard Carly: thats the best offer ive had from a gentleman ever ever ever Carly: whats his name? Ali: Bluebeard Ali: and he is MOSTLY a gentleman if you can handle some toe nibbling Carly: 😍😍😍😍 Carly: into it Carly: ive done more for lads i just met who aint as beautiful so Ali: 😂 I feel that Ali: honestly, it's quite comforting, when he doesn't sneak attack you with it Carly: [sends her a selfie that shouldn't be as adorable as it is] Carly: now u can introduce us Carly: 👋 baby blue Ali: the 😍😍😍😍 are mutual Ali: I can tell Carly: yay Carly: 🧡 Ali: is there anything else you need/we want for the tea party? Ali: en-route at last Carly: ur really coming? Ali: yeah, sorry I was ages, it's a whole process brewing it Ali: also a dead giveaway you're 😷🤒🤕🤢🤮 which obvs my ma takes as her cue to be all Spanish inquisition about it Ali: 📚 of my mostly-fictional-but-which-are-and-which-aren't-mother exploits later Carly: sorry iou so much magic Ali: nah, don't worry about it 👸 Ali: who doesn't love a little scandal with their morning brew? she deffo does Carly: its too late im looking for 🍀 Carly: among the 🌼🌼🌼 Ali: awh Ali: I'm never turning down extra luck Ali: we can make daisy-chains Carly: its the dresscode Carly: soz da Ali: does he have a 🧔? Ali: that's a #look Carly: not rn Carly: my ma wasnt on @ me only to clean up Carly: he had his turn Ali: damn it Ali: maybe a nice belt Ali: I'll be 🤔 Carly: dont b 💔😢 he has bushy eyebrows Ali: same Ali: he's earnt his invite back Ali: your ma gonna have to chill though Ali: and it ain't that kinda tea 💔 Carly: you wont b able to tell if shes angry or surprised Ali: 😚 ⬅ I know the vibe Ali: you do you babe Carly: she used to let me sort em out but there was an accident Carly: which im sworn to secrecy about Ali: I'm so good with secrets 🙏🙏🙏 Carly: k Carly: my head zoned out but my hands kept going like Ali: you were meditating you can't help having 🌌🧠 Ali: I'll 🤭 now and never tell, don't worry Mrs W Carly: @ school yea im meditating on your q sir relax Carly: ha love that Ali: they just ask questions to answer it themselves, what is the point Carly: u coming for my ma again? Ali: 🤫 bad first impression, that Carly: shes heard it from ronan too sorry Carly: lad has loose lips Ali: honestly Ali: 🙄 can't keep up with my bad reputation Carly: ud think hed be better at kissing Carly: its talk talk talk Carly: more good things about u than ive made it seem like tho Ali: he was a big talker Ali: probably 'cos he ain't allowed with the lads Carly: if he talked about what a 👼 u are & how 💔😢 he is theyd uninvite him from the bonfire Carly: its sweet really how hung up hes got Ali: he only thinks I'm an 👼 'cos he took my virginity probs Ali: that's more suitable 🔥side chat Carly: he goes on about that alot but I thought he was lying Carly: oh no that sounds bad Carly: not calling u a slag ur obvs not its y he likes u more Ali: 😂 I'm fine with slag Ali: all definition dependent anyway Carly: yea same Carly: can be hot if ur in the mood Ali: right, and if I'm a slag 'cos I didn't marry him then I'll take it Carly: & hes not allowed to marry gorgers theyd wanna throw him in the 🔥 Ali: exactly Ali: we can't both be 💔😢 forever can we boy Carly: just me @ the party til u came to my rescue Ali: 🥺 Ali: What was he even on about then, like? Ali: dickhead Carly: idk i zone out wen he shouts @ me too Ali: I can always poison a cup and send it his way Ali: just say the word Carly: hes not that bad Ali: okay okay, just some laxatives Ali: 'cos he's a bit 💩 Carly: ha Ali: no 🌼🌼🌼 unless he says soz then Carly: but his beautiful curls 🥺 Ali: hmm, a good point Ali: be strong, baby Carly: ill throw one @ him & run away Carly: back to u Ali: you're so adorable Carly: says u Carly: 👼👸🏼 Ali: 💚 we're gonna have an adventure when the tea hits okay Ali: I've decided Carly: k thats the kinda 🎄🎅🤶🎁 it is Carly: i do want the energy of a kid on xmas morning Ali: that's the best Ali: how I'm tryna be every day Carly: 💫⭐️🌟✨⚡️☄️ 🚀🛸 Ali: if only 🚀 Ali: this bike can only go as fast as my lil legs can carry, like Carly: aw baby Carly: i shouldve asked u where u live before this 2nd rescue was launched Carly: im sorry Ali: No distance is too far for a fair maiden Carly: ill have to see what other 🔮 i can find before u get here Carly: dont love ious Ali: there's no ious Carly: [sending her loads of pics of her with or just pics of the cat lady's cats that she's rounding up for this tea party and they're adorable] Ali: 😍💞😻 Ali: okay, non-debt fully paid though Carly: [just rambling about the names she's given each cat cos her and cat lady don't know each other properly til Ali comes along and like facts about each cat/her fave things cos she's a big nerd] Ali: I love them Ali: I'm gonna get them some 🐟🐟🐟 when I get tea party tings Ali: some cream, awh, okay, this is happening Carly: im picking enough 🌼��🌼🌼🌼🌼 for everyone Ali: should've put Bluebs in my basket Ali: next time Carly: aw Carly: Humbug might try & fight him Carly: youd b there to protect him tho Ali: I can ref Ali: my little brother is always trying to play-fight everyone so I'm well-versed Carly: is he ticklish? that works for me Carly: broken up lots of fights Ali: big time Ali: his kryptonite Ali: reckon it's against the rules in professional fights but preparing him for anything like any good big sister Carly: ha Carly: aw i bet ur an amazing sister Carly: if i had 1 maybe id wanna be on site sometimes Carly: my ma's eyebrows r hardly a call to home Ali: he might disagree but he's 5 so what does he know 😉 Ali: feel that though Ali: home is just a base, whole 🌍 out there Carly: wen ur 5 you argue to argue Carly: yea if u dont use ur wings theyll think u dont want em 💔😢 Ali: flying is like riding a 🚲 though Carly: r we goin on a 🚲 adventure? Ali: definitely Ali: ugh, need one of those wagons for the 😻😻😻s Carly: ☺️its gonna b so fun! Carly: we might meet more 🐈🐈🐈🐈 Ali: way better than 🐔 Carly: ha Carly: do u have 🔮 left to help me find shoes? Ali: have you checked the fridge? Carly: [a pause while she do] Carly: theyre not there 😕🧐 Ali: damn, that'd be the last place I'd look though Ali: were they in the mess your Ma was sounding off about fr Carly: o mayb Carly: if i was wearing any when you dropped me off Ali: 🤔 I don't know if I recall any glass slippers Ali: I'll ask Lene hold up Carly: 👸 energy Carly: but idk if i wanna scary 🐺 at my door Ali: turns out she's actually your 👵 Carly: ha my grandma is 💍 to god Carly: its not close to the energy shes putting out Ali: she'd probably tell your actual that God is a gay girl Ali: nah she's well 😇 around fam, just hide behind your Ma and me, baby, you'll be fine Carly: ha that wasn't in any of the kids bible stories she sent me every 🎄🎅🤶🎁 Carly: her god is 😠 than Humbug Carly: he likes to shout so i gotta zone out Carly: aw that's sweet ur ma loves her too? Ali: Hooray for Catholicism, yeah? 😏 Ali: she loves my Ma, more like Carly: we spend our sundays on our knees nana but its 🚽🤮 or u kno a bigger sin Carly: u do look like her i remember Ali: that's not QUITE 🚽🤮 levels but close 😂 Carly: nah its nice u have the same 👀💙✨ Carly: idk who i look like Carly: postman maybe Ali: now I don't know whether to 😳 or be 🤨 you like my Ma too Ali: you look like you and that's Ali: 💛 😍 😘 🥰 😚 👸 👼🏽 🐰 🌼 🌻 🌞 🍓 🍑 🍨 🍰 🍭 🍬 🎆 💜 Carly: yea 🤞🙏🌠 the postman isnt my da cuz hes a ride Carly: aw now youve got me 😳 Ali: rude, my postman is not Carly: 🚫💌 then baby Carly: ill text u instead Ali: so grumpy, don't stick your hand right into our house if you don't wanna get bitten, sir Ali: not by me, whatever Ronan has said Ali: though I'm well flattered I'm getting a text back Carly: ha its k its not that u use too much teeth Carly: & course ur my hero Carly: tho 🤞🙏🌠 wont b an sos every time Ali: good, can't have him putting you off with blatant lies Ali: it won't be if I do a better job at the heroics and get there before any bad shit can happen Carly: its k i like it Carly: helps me remember what i did Carly: 💔😢 no lads r spelling their names out in bruises for the who Carly: 🐇🐾🐇🐾🐇 Carly: nooo theres no better u could do Carly: ur flying to me faster than anyone has ever ever Ali: amateurs, like Ali: so rude, ain't they heard you're 👸 Ali: I'm basically there now, prepare for the best tea party you've ever been to Carly: aint wat theyve heard but idc Carly: yay 💙 i havent had 1 since me & my 🧸🧸🧸 Ali: I'll be 🎶🔊 it so get in the know lads Ali: awh, can I meet them too? Carly: not too 🔊 or ur gf will bite me which could b fun but im not trying to do u like 💔😢 Carly: some r shyer than others but if u work ur 🔮 how u did for me ull make friends Ali: fill your boots, babe, I don't reckon she's your type, like Ali: I'll be on my best behaviour 🤞 Ali: the loveliest guest you've ever had 🤞🤞 Carly: be fun though Carly: not boring Ali: 😲😲 Ali: Is that the impression I give off? Ali: or another Ronan tale, either way Ali: gonna have to prove otherwise now in the most extra ways imaginable Carly: nahhh Carly: he don't lie to me its his 1 saving grace Carly: its just like a pls Carly: to u & the universe Ali: I won't be boring Ali: trust me Carly: k Carly: i do ur a lifesaver Ali: nah Ali: just happy to help Carly: im happy we r mates Ali: me too Ali: idk why we weren't before, like Ali: too many people at school Carly: & i dont go much ha Ali: this is true Ali: lesser spotted walsh 🐦 Carly: oooh wat colours am i Ali: 💗💜💛🧡💗 Carly: cute Ali: very Carly: wats ur fave colour? Ali: It's a harder question than people reckon, that Ali: like, there's so many beautiful things of every colour Ali: if I can decide for the day, I feel like I'm doing a disservice to all the others Carly: sorry Carly: i havent decided on mine either Carly: when i was a lil kid it was 💛 for the 🌞 then wen i started goin out it was silver for wat i thought the 🌚 looked like Carly: but ive seen so many new colours since Ali: kids always know Ali: they're much smarter than adults about everything Carly: i bet ur lil bro is the smartest Carly: like u Ali: he likes red for 🚨❌🛑⛔️🚫💯‼️🥊🥤 Ali: and I see the appeal Carly: does he like 🍎? i kno somewhere that sells the reddest shiniest 1s Carly: or we cud just throw 🍅s Ali: he's at the anti-fruit stage Ali: but I reckon he could be convinced if we let him smother 'em in caramel and sprinkles Carly: its a date Ali: Me first

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sadiiomane10 · 7 years

Text

headcannons that i wrote with sej but never posted :( but anyway here ya go (1)

when hendo scores that screamer, marko cant believe what he’s seeing,

“WAS THAT GOAL REAL LORIS WAS IT REAL” “YES MARKO IT WAS REAL

okay loris being like hendo’s gonna score and when he does loris like OH YESSSS I WAS RIGHT and Marko is like….holy shit you genius….

so now marko is totally in awe of loris and they start taking about random shit with interruptions of OO HES GONNA SCORE not, and crying on each other when we conceded,

marko and loris are #total bros, they are like the same type of person its weird

i can imagine loris being so outraged when we conceded NO NO WHY HIM NOT HIM THIS IS ANNOYING

, AND MARKO IS ALL NOOOO, and getting a little scared at loris’ non chill but hes kinda the same, and there both swearing or something and klopp looks back and grins cus these are his sons, and they totally learnt from him,

zeljko smacks him on the arm and tells he shouldnt be proud that his footballers are swearing

okay but klopp jumpping to his feet and opens his mouth to scream and then he just hears this massive FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!! and turns around to see loris and marko on their feet and klopp is like….well ok…did my job for me then

and they see klopp looking at them and they get all shy and embarrassed and sit down and klopp laughs but there back on their feet the next minute,

LORIS AND MARKO TOTALLY GO ON ROAD TRIPS AROUND ENGLAND TOGETHER, marko has totally found the buddy who’s willing to travel england with him

BECAUSE MARKO HAS THE NICEST CARS IN THE WORLD AND LO CHERISHES THEM SO MARKO MAKES HIM HIS ROAD TRIP BUDDY

and its totally like ok like the most lit thing ever and they take so many pics and they have the same taste in music and they take turns driving and stuff,

they totally #bond on there road trips and marko snapchats the whole thing and loris sends emre and sham cool pics, and they come to training with so many stories

and dejan and emre are ultimate bantz bros and dejan is like why didnt u congratulate me on my goal emre

and emre being all like pssshhh anyone coulda scored that. hendo had the beauty and dejan scoffing and smiling bye

dejan totally ruffles emre’s hair and everyone else is like how hasnt dejan lost a hand yet.

cus dont touch the hair dude

klopp worked out that the third kit is a curse and he got sick of loris and emre whining about the disgusting colour, which klopp doesnt get why lo does it cus the dude has to where it all the time,

but he still moans, and well klopp cant be bothered liistening to it, and he put them away in storage, anything for his fave german sons

Pleeeease klopp the toxic green is horrible to wear 😩😩😩 klopp: loris your kit is grey??? Loris: yeah but emre won’t shut up so I’m suffering too

klopp shakes his head cus he dealt with mario and marco at bvb but these two are wORSE

And hes like FINE, and tells the kitmen to hide them or something cus he aint putting up with this,and emre is so pleased now he doesnt have to wear it but he teases the fuck outta loris and lo is like im telling klopp to bring them backkkk just for you,

and emre is proper fiesty on the pitch and loris is like

“really emre picking another fight really”“do I have to fucking babysit u or what. whats ur problem emre”. “he fuckin tried to touch my hair”. “the bitch ill fight him for u”

GIVE ME MY PHONE LORIS, Wait up em , emre tries to grab it, LAST ONE EMRE COME ON

que the slap round the head from emre

and lo does it AGAIN but emre doesnt know and for ages emre isnt getting messages everyone thinks he’s giving them the cold shoulder and he’s like??? wtf???? then sees all the pictures which are like different angles of lo’s hair

cue emre storming into the dressing room everyone like oh shit its going down and emre just glares at lo and is like “YOU!!!!”

and everyone is like trying not to laugh cus oooo serious shit, and then loris just fucking bursts out laughing and every1 is like ……what and they start giggling too and emre is like USE UR OWN PHONE LORIS , and hes like but ur camera is better, WE HAVE EXACTLY THE SAME PHONE, …….idk man i like ur camera better,

but really he only does it to make emres life hell

snapchat videos of the game from his angle asdfgh"emre takin out a guy no. 2958"“hey emre say hi!!!” “what are you DOING?…..hey guys [smolder]

LORIS PUT THAT PHONE BACK WHERE IT CAME FROM OR SO HELP ME

emre totes said that him

“WHAT YA GONNA DO? FOUL ME? oh no shit wait i take that back”

loris following emre thru anfield with his camera like “hey guys emre looks good, zooms in super close to his hair, look at that perfection”, emre being affectionatly annoyed

emre chasing him, loris being like EMRE NO IM SORRY COME ON, emre getting lo in a headlock and screwing up loris hair

a lot of people have been asking whats in your bagpack” “no they havent” “ok no they havent but im asking” loris rooting thru like heres emres gel, ‘its wax’ whatever same thing emre, and heres his wallet, ‘leave that aloneee loris’ and heres…… 'LORIS LEAAVE MY THINGS ALONEEE’, loris running off with the bag down the hallway, and the sc vid just full of frantic running and giggling and shouts of LORIS YOU FUCKING SHIT GET BACK HERE,

LORISSSSSSSSS

AND LORIS TRIPS OR SOMETHING AND THE STUFF GOES EVERYWHERE AND EMRE IS LIKE LOOK WHATS YOU’VE DONE but lo is too high on life and the video ends with p much just having a laughing fitl

and he looks at camera just in tears and like this grumps is angry with me but I DONT CARE and emre trying to grab his things and some of the other lads coming round the corner like whats going and seeing lo pissing himself laughing on the fall makes them laugh and soon there all laughing and emre wacks lo on the arm and laughs to

and before you know everyone is liking posting videos and pictures of what just happened and the rest of the world is just like???? eh????and they have really cryptic captions like “WAX [crying laughing

and like some time later they peel themselves off the floor still giggling some and emre is like u alright and lo is like yh and its like nice and not bantery and its all good and so much love

and yesss everyone is hella confused on social media but this team just full on loves on each so much and its amazing

everyone loves lo, i cry, 3 months at the club and everyone is already in love with him every1 fave goalie, i bet they randomly turn up at his house and just crash and chill out, cus well he lets them all in and hes super chill and everything

he got his hair cut everyone was fighting to touch it

poor dude has noo food left in his fridge, but hendo goes shopping and brings him things when he comes over cus hes a good captain and he takes care of our baby goalie and loris was swooning in the love and they literally made a line the fricking idiots

and just like at really quiet moments when someone’s stood next to him they’ll just reach up and stroke his hair and he’s just like….what you dooooin…

bet u a million dollors adz did that him, i bet u anything that really happened one time, and lo gave him a look like wtf and adz is like ur hair is so nice and soft and lo is ???……..ok then and adz is like u have the best hair on the team

and hendo screams over ACTUALLY EMRE HAS THE BEST HAIR ON THE TEAM, que arguments between #married couple no.1 and #married couple no.2

emre being all smug like hah i have the best hair and loris being like nah bitch i do and hendo being lke emre has the best hair and adz being like have u felt lo’s hair its amazing and klopp being like im going back to bvb, where things were normal and my players didnt fight over other peopls hair

god can you imagine like everybody filing in on these four full blown fighting and Milly and studge are like BREAK IT UP cos it sounds so serious and then they hear hendo scream ADMIT EMRE HAS SILKY SMOOTH HAIR!!!!

klopp walks away ashamed with his head in his hands, zelkjo is considering leaving, ads is close to tears, studge is in hysterics, lo pissing himself laughing, emre being like hah bitch i win, and loris walking away like whatev’s dude im still better than u and emre following him cus they need to continue arguing, its their thing,

hendo being like alright ok dont cry ads and then he cuddles him,

mils being exasperated and considering a move away from all this hectic mess ,

they all go back to training but klopp is missing and everyone is like ……..what happened to him and zeljko being like hes prolly packing his bags cus u lot are idiots,

que scared looks and extra hard commitment to training,

cus kloppo is more important than hair and loris being like see emre u scared off our mananger, and em being like MEEEE u started it , their bickering never stops ,

and hendo goes to find kloppo like a good captain and he’s just in his office ruining a stress balll

really hendo are we fighting about hair in training, hendo blushes and is like …….sorry…..but emre /does/ have the best hair.

klopp shaking his head like i expect this from the baby germans but u and adam, come on hendo,

but kloppo he does, yh he does but we dont fight about it in training and dont make adz cry, hes my fave son leave him alone,

hendo- so ur not running away, klopp shakes his head and laughs cus zeljko honestly, but hendo feels proud cus klopp agrees that emre has the best hair and thats all he wants,

adz can stick it, but hes not gonna make him cry again, klopp might kill him

#been in my drafts for centuries #umm yh #lfcheadcannons #hc #lfc #these are super long but oh well

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ahri-fanfic · 7 years

Text

: Ahri VS Jay - SHOWDOWN

It was a dark and snowy night. Ahri had been bored, so bored, you wouldn’t believe it. She had been there together in the room with Ray, Payton, gabe and jon. Normally they could perfectly entertain each other, but not this time. And to make matters worse, it was almost impossible to go to town. It was too snowy, too dark.

“Urgh,” said Ray, “I wish Jay would say something. At least we’d have something to do.” Payton agreed, “I agree,” she said and throwing her mobile phone at the wall, just to catch it again when it bounced off. “Uuuurgh,” she then said as well, because she agreed with Ray, “Don’t you know anything we can do, Ahri?” .

Ahri’s gaze went down the room, past a teddy Bear and a stack of g-strings. Then Her eye fell onto a lone empty bottle they had used the evening before.

I know,” said Ahri, “How about we play...............spin...the....BOTTLE!”

“What a superb idea” “Oh yeah!” Jon and Gabe also peaked up “Yeaaaah!”

So they all sat down and Ahri took the bottle first. Hilariously, it landed on Gabe, but Ahri thought Gabe was a bit too creepy and really didn't want to kiss the man. She hoped the others might have mistook it for landing on Payton, but judging by the howls of laughter and the rising anticipation in the room, they probably didn't.

"But but dont you all see it really landed on Payton?" "Loool no, u should kiss Gabe," said Payton. The fact that she said it made Ahri feel so embaressed.

But then, all of a sudden.... Jay commented on Ahri’s fan fiction about everyone !. We all simultaneously turned our heads and had a scrubs moment were we stared off and imagined ways to punish jay. ( a flash back pay has ) Payton enters the scene, but whats this? Ray is there too.

"Do you remember that thing that happened a few months ago? The one that seemed like it would split us apart forever, but instead brought us closer then ever? That brought us......to each-other?"

"The time with .. the rumours ?" "Yes!" "Oh, yes right "

"Its hard to believe what happened isn't it? What happened and what it led to" "Yes my queen" said Ray, giving Payton a kiss. "Now that Ive got it again I will fight my hardest to keep it." "It was pretty life changing."

So now we all snap out of our own thoughts and the camera of our minds draws back to the world we know now. But before everyone got themselves ready to go after Jay, there was one thing Ahri wanted to take care of. She had to introduce Ray to her parents. Ahri had been thinking for it for a longtime. Her parents were the worst. cruel, pathetic and sexist. But Ahri had told them that she finally got engaged and that she would introduce Ray to the family before they could meet her fiance. a desperate attempt at the hope ray could help them see things differently. if he couldnt do it , no one could. "Uuuuurgh," Ahri said "I can handle it," Ray said "You don't know my parents!" Ahri said. "I know, but if they created you, then they can't be that bad," Ray spoke wisely. "I knoooooow but it's still...uuuuuurgh." "We'll just go there and I'll impress them," Ray said very manly Then Ahri suggested he bring payton so we had more support. She felt safer with them there. Ahri knew that whatever would happen, pay would protect her.

The day of the dinner had come. Ahri , Ray and pay took an uber to her parents. They came into a dining room and the table had already been set. "Ah, you've finally arrived," Ahri's mom said and she looked at Ray, "You're late." "It wasn't her fault," pay said as protective of Ahri as she was. "It was the weather." "Sure... sure..." Mom said and she went back to the kitchen. "Wow," Ahri said, "she didn't even shake your hands." "Oh well," Ray said seeming unfazed. Oh gosh, that nonchalant way. Exactly the reason why Ahri had asked him along. Ahri was busy swooning over her fiancé when her dad came in. "Boy," dad said and stared at Ray. Ray shook his hand politely. "Ah, you're here too," dad said to Ahri and pay, "Help your mother out, it's time that the men have a conversation." "uuuuuurgh," Ahri said and went into the kitchen dragging pay along. Then Ahri's mother made her do all sorts of annoying useless jobs. After all, as mom said, people like them were inherently used to these sorts of things. Then dinner came. Ahri was told to take the food in while mom and dad sat down. pay wasn't even allowed to see where Ray went off to. Just before she carried in the first plate of food, she felt something weird. Like a cross wire went down her back, tingling all along the way down. Something was off, but Ahri was still too annoyed with her parents!

Meanwhile, back at their house, gabe and jon were enjoying each-others company. As the narrator, I will respect their privacy and not specify how.

Ahri carried in the meal. But no one was there. Instead, at the end of the table, sat Jay!

Jay laughed at her, "My my, that apron makes your tits look huge !" Ahri threw down the meal and looked around anxiously for someone, anyone. Not only was Jay going to feel the fullest extend of Ahri's righteous fury, Ahri could also unleash her frustration with her parents !

She threw the dish at Jay like a Frisbee. But as it was about to hit him, he stepped just out of the way ! "If you want to see your parents again," Jay said, "come to my Apartment" Ahri felt conflicted. On one hand, Ahri hated her parents, on the other, she wasnt sure if her friends where with them. Ray came in and said: "We should save your parents." "You guys are here ! we have more important things to worry about he found out where my parents live ? was he watching our messages ?," Ahri said. "No he shouldnt be able to unless ... that fan fic really set him over the edge ? .. he is a loose canon." said rain. "your right. he probably would." pay chimed in. -- -- --

Jay: what do you mean, it's over ?! it cant be ! Ahri: No No, back into your casket! Jay: Grrrr. You will never get me in my box. I am too large and too sexy! Ahri: you would if i told you it was attached to an under-aged girl. Jay: but.. cant you just send me some pics ?! Ahri: Noooo! Whats wrong with you !? Jay: life isn't worth living without being able to psychologically damage people !. Ahri: OK, Ur right, life isn't worth living when your that far gone ”. ray and pay walk into the creepy alleyway after hearing things get loud from the car. Ray: you need to leave us all alone its not worth it to us ! Jay: huh ;^_^; .. why ?, so you get to be happy with your girl ? and i get nothing ? .. Payton: BAKAI !! ". pay runs at jay punching him and knocking him to the ground. Ahri: PAY ! Ray: awww hell naww ". rain grabs pay and pushes her towards ahri , grabbing jay by the shirt and dragging him around a corner . Ray winked at Ahri, " go get your parents " . But Payton was all hot 'n ready to kill jay , Ahri thought she better do something quickly. So Ahri pecked Payton on her cheek and looked her in the eyes. " come on he'll be fine , we can help by getting this done . pay and ahri dash off towards the sounds of banging in the distance. " there ! i see them i'll untie them head back to ray ", ahri exclaimed smiling at pay . Ahri caught up with pay quickly and they jogged back to rain . " where are your parents ?, are they okay ? " ahri responded softly but audibly . " it doesnt matter , theyll be fine lets just get home safe ". with that they didnt talk again until they arrived back at the alleyway and saw ray just standing there a smile on his face . pay ran into his arms smiling and gave him a kiss , then punched him in the stomach . " that was for worrying me you bakai !! ". rain just smiled at her and put her on his back so he could carry her, we could all go home. ray day dreamed on his way home with pays arms wrapped around his neck. "arg...that was good " said Ray. "yes, yes it was" said Payton. "You seemed a little distracted near the end though. Not your normal energetic self" "yes...sorry about that. I was thinking back to eight months ago, when I first realized my feelings for you even though I didn't know it at the time. Its what opened my eyes to what I felt all along ".

"And our love grew together from that moment to today"

"I love you Payton my tsundere". "I love you too Ray -my demi god.

And they smiled at each-other, as we fade out into the sunset. So they defeated Jay and everyone was satisfied!

Author: well, looks like they'll be busy for a little while. Jay: Nooo its a lie. Gimme it!

The end

#fan fic #just a girl writing fan fiction

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