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feministfocus · 3 years

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Cautious, Vigilant, Fearful: On Being Asian American

Art by R. Kikuo Johnson

By Cynthia Lin

The mother and child wait for the subway. The mother grips the hand of her daughter tightly, her other hand raised to check the time. A simple illustration, yet the mother’s and daughter’s eyes catch my attention. They are cautious, vigilant, fearful.

I realize what else makes me uneasy. The mother wears a turtleneck sweater beneath a long blazer and wide black pants. And tennis shoes. The sneakers clash incongruously with her formal attire—why wear sneakers with a blazer? Unless you fear you will need to run.

The New Yorker’s recent cover, “Delayed” by artist R. Kikuo Johnson, comes at a time in which racial violence against Asian Americans has surged. Just a few days before, a man was filmed kicking and stomping on a 65-year-old Philippine-American woman while onlookers from the nearby building watched. One even shut the door in her face.

It’s simple to blame the violence on the pandemic and the subsequent xenophobic rhetoric, but it’s not as if racism against Asian Americans did not exist before—it’s just that the public is finally made aware of it. It’s difficult to argue that racism is just overblown paranoia when there is widespread video evidence of the harassment.

For a while, I used to debate with myself whether someone was being racist towards me. Is it all in my head? Why am I making a big deal of this? Am I too sensitive? Can I not take a joke? It is exhausting to constantly question whether or not an action is racially motivated. I did not want to be so overly sensitive that every slight I experienced came down to race. You start to doubt yourself—is it not worse if you think it is racially motivated when it is not? Am I being hampered by my race, using race to excuse others’ treatment of me when it is just their reaction to me? But then again, my Asianness is written all over my face; how can you react to me without reacting to a core part of my identity? So there must have been some part of that action that was racist, even if it was mostly ignorant.

But it is easier to wonder what you did that made you seem so foreign, so “un-American” to warrant that might-be-racist action. You start overanalyzing your past actions, and you turn silent and reclusive, thinking it best that you should not bring more attention to yourself, but then you realize that by being quiet you are contributing to the Asian stereotype of meekness. You wish that there was a clear line distinguishing what is racist and what is “all in your head.” But that is the issue, isn’t it?

When the news first broke, I think I might have even believed the narrative the investigators spun about how the spa shootings in the Atlanta area were not racially motivated. In my mind, I hovered between calling the shootings a “hate crime” or a “crime.” It did not strike me until I read the words “sex addiction”—the excuse the shooter used to explain his murder of the eight people, six of whom were Asian women—that I realized the label “racial motivation” contributes to the falsehood that there is a distinct line separating what is racist and what is not.

“Racial motivation” is the covert label we use for the obviously racist. But the phrase doesn’t take into account the subtleties, the dangerous norms we have adopted to mark what is foreign and what is “American.” Or even more relevant, the generations of popular culture over-sexualizing and fetishizing Asian women. Perhaps the shooter’s alleged sex addiction is not inherently anti-Asian, but depictions of Asian women in film and television have dehumanized them into objects of desire, generalized them as “docile,” “demure,” and “obedient.” Easy targets.

But why this compulsion to explain the actions of the perpetrator? This desperate grab for a motive every time a racist crime is committed? Whether or not the shooter’s intent was racist, the ramifications still exist. Asian Americans, especially the elderly, do not feel safe in America. I worry about my grandparents’ recent move from Brooklyn’s Chinatown to Staten Island, where they are cut off from all that is familiar and comforting. After living in America for over twenty years, is it not their right to go on an afternoon walk without fearing for their safety?

Anti-Asian sentiment in America has not recently materialized; it’s only resurfaced in our collective attention span. Lately, I have been digging deeper into Asian American and Pacific Islander (AAPI) history, approaching it with the intent to examine the longevity of the community’s residence in America, not just the well-taught immigrant story. Asians have been here before many Europeans immigrated through Ellis Island, but even to me, these “newer” Europeans seem to fit better with the American mold. How can they not, when U.S. history lessons consistently depict Asian Americans and Pacific Islanders as foreigners and national security threats? When the few times the curriculum touches on Asian American history, it focuses on Chinese immigration in the mid-19th century, the subsequent Chinese Exclusion Act, and the internment of 120,000 people of Japanese descent during World War II? The Asian Americans I learn about in history class seem to exist solely in the backdrop of exclusion, which only serves to highlight their “otherness.”

What of Larry Itliong and his efforts in organizing the Delano Grape Strike? Or Patsy Mink, the first Asian American woman elected to the U.S. House of Representatives? Why is it that these milestones in Asian American and Pacific Islander history aren’t taught more? By acknowledging the multifaceted and ever-changing nature of the Asian community in the U.S., we acknowledge the progress made and what we have yet to achieve. Instead, I learn about AAPI history through an antiquated lens—depictions of Asian Americans have remained stagnant, fixed in time, and painted in broad strokes of homogeneity. The diversity of the AAPI community has often been forgotten, pushed aside for the ease in generalizing one collective group of people. This has not only perpetuated the harmful myth that most Asians, being the “model minority,” have attained success in America, but has also led to blame on the whole AAPI community for the pandemic.

In high school, race was a political topic, one made so controversial that even now, there is still some ingrained part of me that hesitates to voice my opinions for fear that I would “get it wrong.” It was only through my college search that I realized a major like “Ethnicity, Race, & Migration” even existed. And if I, someone who plans to study race, feel this way, how do others —students, teachers—even begin to broach this topic without fear of controversy? Focus on eradicating the stigma behind racism without fixating on being politically correct? So, besides a reevaluation of curriculum, we must also change the culture of avoidance we have fostered in schools, end the mindset of avoiding uncomfortable conversations.

Perhaps during the first discussions, we’ll stumble over a few social faux pas, reveal some implicit biases we’ve kept locked away under niceties, but it is better to acknowledge these societal problems than pretend that ignoring these issues will make them disappear. Uncomfortable conversations elicit defensiveness, but they can also be an opportunity for growth, a way to find empathy for others who at first seem entirely unlike ourselves. Having these conversations can help make true social change, can even help materialize a world in which a mother doesn’t have to fear for her and her child’s safety while doing something as mundane as taking a subway.

Chen, T. (2021, March 22). Asian women are Hypersexualized, so don't tell me the killings In Atlanta aren't about race. Retrieved April 20, 2021, from https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/tanyachen/asian-women-fetish-racist-atlanta-shootings

Fan, J., Hsu, H., & Park, E. (2021, March 19). The Atlanta shooting and the dehumanizing of Asian women. Retrieved April 20, 2021, from https://www.newyorker.com/news/daily-comment/the-atlanta-shooting-and-the-dehumanizing-of-asian-women

If the mass killing of six Asian women isn't a hate crime, what is? (2021, March 18). Retrieved April 20, 2021, from https://www.latimes.com/entertainment-arts/story/2021-03-17/killing-six-asian-women-hate-crime-atlanta

Mouly, F. (2021, April 13). R. Kikuo Johnson's "Delayed". Retrieved April 20, 2021, from https://www.newyorker.com/culture/cover-story/cover-story-2021-04-05

Waxman, O. (2021, March 30). Why the Asian-American story is missing from U.S. Classrooms. Retrieved April 20, 2021, from https://time.com/5949028/asian-american-history-schools/

#stop asian hate #feminism #girls learn international #black lives matter

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the-mad-starker · 4 years

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Paint My Wings With Your Heat (2/?)

Chapter 2: Show me.

Mads💗: the amount of love this fic got has blown my mind. We also got amazing fanart 💗😭

Keyz 💖: This rp is still so fun and I'm glad you all seem to like it as much as us! Well, for now, we'll see how charitable you are after this next part 🤣

Notes: ABO dynamics, intersex omegas, wing kink, in-flight fucking, knotting, courting, soulmate au

WC: 3913

Links:

AO3 Link: Part 1 | Part 2

Tumblr Link: Part 1

Artsy Links: Fanart Link | Keyz's Moodboard

💗💗💗

Peter had run for what he believes is a logical reason. But as soon as his shoes thud against the floor, instinct takes over.

He doesn't need to look back. The hairs at the back of his neck tell him all he needs to know.

He's being chased.

Tony flares his wings and skids over the top of a desk, sending papers and a stapler flying, before tackling his young mentee to the ground. He grips Peter’s wings and pins them, pressing his groin into a firm ass with his wings postured high above his back; high enough the gold ends knocked lights and ceiling tiles alike.

There's a muffled whimper when they go down. Peter's wings flounder in the air, stretching out and trying to move this way and that. They test the alpha's hold, only to find it secure.

The wings fall limp. Peter's entire body goes soft and pliant as his instincts take over. He feels the alpha's cock against his ass and instinctively, his legs try to spread apart.

"Mr. Stark–" It's muffled with his hand pressing against his mouth as he tries not to grind back.

“Honestly, not the worst first mating flight I’ve seen. College was a doozy for some people.” Tony’s words are light but his tone is dark honey whispered over Peter’s nape. Tony pushes him down harder, just because he can and he wants to and then-

Tony gets up and takes three steps away from Peter. He curls his wings back up and takes a deep, calming breath. After settling himself, he moves close enough to help him up and holds a hand out to Peter to tug him back on his feet.

Then, Tony pulls Peter closer and smiles.

“If you want to try again, I’ll let you get into the air this time. If you don’t want me pinning you down again, walk to the elevator, slowly.” Tony’s words come out husky and pure alpha.

Peter's world has been turned upside down in a matter of minutes. His breath is cut short and with Tony still gripping his hand, he feels dazed.

Dazed enough that when he tries to take a step, he stumbles on nothing and ends up against the older man. His wings flutter, trying to regain balance, but they're useless.

Chest to chest, he looks up at the alpha, brown eyes blown with very little color left. A flush sits heavy on his cheeks and his hands press against Tony's chest.

Tony’s hands come up to cover Peter’s. His thumbs rub against his wrists as he waits.

"I don't think I can fly," Peter says, tone shaky as his fingers drag down Tony's chest.

Tony furrows his brows and looks over at Peter's wings. Had he grabbed too hard? Hurt him in some way?

A wing curves out, reaching for the bright red and gold of his mentor's wing.

Red and gold stretch out to meet him and reassure Tony that the smaller wings were undamaged by his display. A shudder knocks itself down each of his vertebra like a pinball; electricity sparking up everywhere their feathers brush.

"I felt– You're…"

Peter's not thinking right. There's no other sane explanation why he'd do what he's doing now. His hand skims down, lower and lower until he touches it. Hot, hard flesh… His mentor's hard cock that he couldn't deny feeling when he was pinned to the floor.

"You're hard," Peter breathes out. "Was it the… the flight?"

“No.” Tony’s voice is ragged.

His wings spread out and around Peter, red and gold cupping his body closer to Tony and shielding him from the sight of any potential rivals. Tony’s gaze is as heavy and hot as a hand on the nape of his young mate’s neck.

“I was hard before that,” Tony says honestly.

At the same time, he grinds himself into Peter’s palm. He’s holding Peter’s other hand with both of his now, pinning it down to his chest so he can feel how quickly Tony’s heart is pounding away.

“Kid- Peter… This is what I meant. The feather did it. Your beacon feather.”

The revelation has Peter's lashes flutter in excitement. His fingers curve around the nice, thick girth of Tony's cock but he doesn't do anything more than just applying some pressure.

He can barely believe that he's doing this at all.

Tony feels so hard and solid beneath his hand. Hot and– Peter presses his thighs together, biting back a soft whimper because the chase had distracted him but only for a moment.

Being held close with Tony's wings cutting them off from the outside world, Peter feels the stirring of something dark and primal in his own body. And yet, compared to earlier, he doesn't want to run from the alpha.

With Tony's wings surrounding them, he understands why. The alpha has already caught him. He was fast and strong, pinned Peter in place like it was effortless. And his omega side purred at the thought of having such an alpha so why would he run….?

Tony produces the feather one-handed from where he’d tucked it away, somewhere between Peter taking off and Tony catching him. It’s a little worse for wear but the longer Tony holds it, the more Peter’s potent mate scent fills the small private bubble created by Tony’s wings.

“The scent is incredible. Your omega scent is coming in healthy and strong and God, Peter. You smell so good.” Tony’s voice is a groan and there’s no way Peter doesn’t feel the way Tony’s cock just jumped in arousal.

Peter wants to purr in satisfaction. The worry that Tony would find his scent pungent or his feathers unappealing quickly melts away.

He manages to stop himself from doing it but what he can't stop is how his fingers start to stroke very gently. Up and down the alpha's erect cock, slowly and with care, as though he wants to reassure himself that this is really happening.

Tony’s hips start moving just as gently as Peter’s stroking hand, meeting him and thrusting against his fingers. It’s like his cock has a mind of its own and it wants Peter to keep going, please.

“You can take it back. I won’t force you. I won’t stop you. But if you let me keep this feather, I’m going to be compelled to court you. To chase you. To pin you and mount you again. And it’ll only happen more often the closer we get to mating season and the better you smell.” Tony says it as he holds out the feather in the nonexistent space between them.

He squeezes Peter’s wrist and then relaxes his hand on his chest; giving him the choice.

Take it or leave it.

Peter has remained silent throughout Tony's speech. The offer to take back the feather has Peter pressing his lips together in a firm line.

He has a better plan.

As much as he doesn't want to, Peter releases his grip on Tony's hard cock. He reaches for the feather, taking it carefully by the end of the shaft.

Tony tries to shutter his expression and lets the feather go. It’s Peter’s and he’d offered. No matter how much it would hurt, he’d have to let Peter go.

Peter leans his head against the other's chest, cheek against their joined hands. His eyes are hooded and he glances down their bodies where his hand drifts, feather still grasped between two fingers.

With his breath coming in shallow, he runs the tip of the beacon feather over the prominent bulge of his mentor's cock.

Tony’s breath sucks in, noisy and loud in the quiet between them. His wings rustle and shift as they close in tighter around them, red shafts and golden tips pushing between Peter’s shoulder blades greedily.

Cocooned in this warmth, surrounded by the vibrant red of Tony's wings, Peter feels safe and maybe… maybe a bit reckless.

"I want… I want all that, Mr. Stark," Peter tells him softly. "I don't– I wouldn't stop you if… if you wanted to do any of that to me. I trust you, sir, and I know you care about me or else… You wouldn't have let me go earlier."

“Don’t trust me to be a good man about this. I care about you and I want to protect you. It’s a dangerous combination, kid.” Tony’s words are lighter with concern and he doesn’t know why he’s trying so hard to stop something he wants. Maybe an ingrained response to how many times he’s ruined things only half as precious as Peter.

Peter swallows the lump that wants to form in his throat. He wants Tony to do more than care for him. He wants Tony to ache for him, to be driven crazy for his scent… He wants Tony to want him as a mate.

"Teach me?" Peter asks, the words coming out breathless and eager. “I want to be… a good omega. Want to be an omega you'd find… good and sexy and irresistible."

“Peter- fuck. Of course, I’ll teach you. Hardly have to do a thing since you’re already such a good omega. You picked the best alpha available to teach you, didn’t you, baby?” Tony’s voice deepens as he speaks, giving in.

He wants to do this for Peter and Peter wants him to do it, too. Why not let the both of them just have something they want for a change?

Peter lets the feather go, not even watching as it drifts to the floor. He'll have more, but he wants to show Tony he can be good.

He fumbles with the alpha's belt, cheeks red as he tries to undo it so he can touch Tony directly.

Tony lets Peter undo his clothing in favor of reaching for and tugging on the omega’s wings, pulling them down and under his own. The size of his wings interlacing with Peter’s own nearly blots out the artificial sun of the lab space they’ve commandeered.

It casts the clinking of his undone belt in red-tinted shadow.

Peter lets out a soft whimper at the touch and his wing muscles spasm. As a result, the feathers rustle and spread out, allowing more room for the alpha.

His wings have never made him feel like this before. They're like any other appendage, his hands, his legs… Why do they make him want to melt now? A little bit of attention and Peter's ready to drop to his knees...

The answer is Tony. He's never been touched like this before and Peter knows with certainty that if Tony had brushed his hand or wrapped an arm around his waist, he would've reacted just as strongly.

“What do you think being a good omega means, Pete?” Tony’s words are soft. He slips his fingers through the omega’s feathers as he speaks. Stroking through the rich grey-white as slow and gentle as Peter’s hand had been on his cock, earlier.

Tony’s wings layer over Peter’s, pinning them under his weight.

It feels so good, the weight of Tony's wings on top of his. It floods Peter's brain with a mix of dopamine and oxytocin and the omega curls closer. The words are just as hypnotic. The tone, soft and arousing, just like the sensual slide of the alpha's wings over his own.

“What do you think being my good omega means?” Tony’s lips are parted and his eyes glitter. He finds the unshed beacon feathers hidden within the other more innocent feathers and rubs the heady oils into his fingertips.

He imagines swirling the scent of mate-heat-omega-Peter all across his chest and groin and neck and lets out a shameless moan.

Peter nuzzles closer. Arousal prickles along his skin and the alpha's moan sends heat shuddering through his entire body. He wants to take in more of that delicious scent like it's a drug but Tony's asked him a question. He opens his eyes, the pupils trying to focus on the alpha.

Tony watches Peter’s dark eyes skate around, unfocused, and resists the urge to kiss him. The younger man’s skin is flushed a pretty pink edging into a bright red that he wants to taste from the hollow of his collarbones.

The scent of arousal, alpha and omega, is so strong…

“Show me what good omegas do, Peter. Show me.” Tony orders, his voice thick and heady like the musk and heat swirling in the air between them like heat vapors.

Peter’s knees feel weak from their combining scents and he follows his instincts.

It has him sinking to his knees. His wings, regrettably, slip free from the alpha's to pool around him in a cloak of white and grey.

"Good omegas… please their alphas," Peter finally answers when he's where he belongs. His heart races and his wings tremble, eager and all too easily excited. "I want to do that for you, sir…"

He wants to be Tony's good omega...

“Peter… Only if you want,” Tony purrs, reluctant to end it but compelled to give Peter an out, even as his wings shelter them more soundly. It feels like a glimpse of sanity, or a last breath of fresh air, to remember responsibilities and ethics.

His wings flex more securely around them and Tony feels himself slipping under. His pulse so loud in his ears.

No rival will get even a glimpse of Peter. This beauty is all for him and Tony has never been ashamed of being greedy.

Tony's belt is open, unbuckled already, and his dark underwear peeks through in the open 'v' of his pants. Peter pets the heavy bulge between the alpha's legs, leaning close until he could press his cheek against it. The heavy scent of alpha arousal nearly overwhelms him.

He looks up at the alpha, eyes eager and pleading for approval.

"I… I don't know what I'm doing..." Peter admits with another rub of his cheek. It's a soft whine, an entreaty for guidance. "Good omegas… take care of their alphas."

The pressure of his future mate’s cheek against his erection feels electrifying.

“Good omega’s ask for what they want, too. I want you to want this,” Tony says with a voice deep and smooth as the night sky under his wings. He thinks, ‘I want you to want me’ but keeps it to himself. “I want you to want my cock in your mouth just as much as me. I don’t want it to be… a chore.”

He puts a hand in Peter’s hair instead and finds he can’t look away. Peter is so beautiful. On his knees with the lab lights filtering red and gold over his pale skin and grey-white feathers, he looks like a renaissance painting come to life.

Peter barely keeps his eyes from slipping shut when he feels Tony's fingers, so strong and so sure, in his hair. His eyes flutter in pleasure.

A chore…? Doing this for Tony would be anything but that. It'd be a dream come true to have Tony look at him with pleasure, with want, and with need.

Peter’s fingers creep over the band of his underwear and his wings give a soft flutter of excitement.

"I–I want this, God, I want it... I want to do that for you, Mr. Stark," Peter breathes out as he drags the underwear down the hard length of his boss' cock. "Take care of you… Take care of your cock…"

“Good boy. I told you I wouldn’t have to train you much,” Tony says with an approving squeeze of the fingers in Peter’s curls.

This isn’t anything like how he’d imagined this going. Nothing ever goes how he imagines it will with Peter. That’s part of what draws Tony in so much- Peter is unpredictable, no matter how much Tony gets to know him.

Tony cups Peter’s cheek with his free hand and watches his expressions hungrily as he undresses Tony for the first time, memorizing this in case Peter gets cold feet after the fact.

Peter’s mouth waters as Tony's cock is revealed, inch by inch, until finally, it slips off the thick, swollen tip of his cock. Peter outright moans when he finally sees the whole thing. The length and sheer girth make his insides clench down in a mix of excitement and anticipation.

He touches it, palm pressing against naked hot flesh as he levels it with his mouth.

"Can I…?" Peter nearly begs, lips parted and face as red as the alpha's feathers.

“Of course. I’ll always give you what you want,” Tony says, dropping his hand away from Peter’s cheek to grip himself instead, lacing his fingers with his future mate’s over the thick heft of the shaft.

Peter sucks in a breath but he feels like it's not enough. He feels like that time he flew too high up where the oxygen runs thin. He knows that isn't the case here but being so close to what he desperately wants is making him lightheaded.

Touching Tony like this… The shape and girth of his cock makes something ache fiercely in Peter's body.

The omega blinks, gaze fixed on Tony's handsome face as he waits for more of his mentor's guidance.

“All you have to do is ask.”

Tony pulls their hands up and down, once and then twice, taking the edge off and bumping his sensitive glans against Peter’s bottom lip in the process. He grins at the dancing fire that skitters through his pelvis and thighs from the action.

Peter gives a silent moan and instinctively tilts his face so that his mouth is at a better angle to take the tip in. Tony doesn't make it that easy for him though. The alpha continues with the slow tease and Peter shivers, willing to play the game.

“I’ll let you know some of what I want since you’ve been so good for me,” Tony says with promise.

Tony uses Peter’s own hand to squeeze and stroke himself as he continues talking. He knocks the swollen tip of himself against his mentee’s lips for emphasis as he speaks and grins wider each time his cock slaps down on the younger man’s cherry skin.

“I want to sink my cock into this pretty mouth you’re offering me.”

-Tap-

“I want to get you into the air and try that mating flight again after.”

-Tap-

“I want to pin you down and play mate you for real when I catch you.”

-Tap-

“I want to show you how fun being my good omega can be.”

-Tap, tap-

“Are you ready to get what you want, Peter?” Tony asks with his cock poised, both of their hands holding it steady. Peter hasn’t sucked any inch of it yet and his lips look abused and swollen already. Tony’s stomach ignites and twists in anticipation.

Peter is good. No matter how much his instincts urge him to chase after the alpha's cock, he waits. It almost feels like agony to have Tony's cock right there and still be denied.

Tony had given him the answer earlier though. He said Peter's already a good omega so now Peter just has to prove it.

"I want everything you wanna give me," Peter says breathlessly. The words come out clear and so sure, not a stutter or sign of hesitation. It is what he wants, both heart and body crave for everything Tony offers.

He just has to ask for it.

Tony groans softly at the implications, at the yearning eagerness that laces Peter’s words. His cock twitches and he automatically squeezes it, squeezing Peter’s fingers at the same time.

Beneath Tony's firm hand, Peter moves his own and takes over. He strokes the alpha's hard cock, exactly how Tony had done it. The grip, the pressure… Just like how Tony enjoys it.

He's proven to be a quick learner and this, he picks up just as fast. His eagerness to learn everything about the alpha helps him, too.

“Peter, sweetheart… you’re a fast learner.” Tony pants the words out past flashing teeth and a smile made sloppy from the warm bliss of another person stroking him.

His hips rock gently and he lets go of Peter’s hand on his cock, dropping his hand on top of Peter’s wing instead, leaving the omega to hold him and attend to the thick alpha length alone. Somehow, that knowledge makes the experience even hotter, frissons of sensation shooting through his belly and inner thighs.

Peter presses even closer and lets the crown rest against his lips, smearing the alpha precum over his lips.

"I want this," Peter says, his lips teasing along the wet tip. "Want this in my mouth."

Tony’s wings flex and his flanks clench to hold back from thrusting in, right then and there. God, he wants to be inside that mouth so badly...

Peter’s wings tremble but they arch, spreading softly in offering. The length of his wings are no match for Tony's. He is omega, after all.

"I want to fly," Peter tells him, "knowing you're behind me."

Tony’s loose hand moves to run along the bone of Peter’s wing, brushing his feathers but not impeding his movements. The feathers are just as soft and fluffy as Peter’s hair and Tony is thrilled that he finally has the chance to compare.

Peter stretches his wings out and the tips of his primaries brush against the shield of soft feathers that make up their closed off little world. Teasing. He lowers them just as carefully.

"And if you catch me…" Peter's lips curve into an almost daring smile. "You can do whatever you want with me…"

Tony’s hand is still cupping the delicate top of Peter’s wing, holding him gently so he can rub his thumb over his feathers in small, sweeping strokes as he listens and waits.

At the words, his wings tighten, closing in around them so it's even darker and more intimate. The lights coming through his feathers look almost like the hue of a sunset and Tony wishes they were somewhere private to watch one together.

“Whatever I want, huh. That’s pretty open-ended,” Tony says with a deep exhale and parting of his lips.

Tony’s tongue licks across his bottom lip with desire.

The omega shivers at the words but he doesn't take them back.

Peter doesn't know where any of this is coming from. But here, on his knees, surrounded by Tony's wings, he already feels wanted. He already feels like the sexy, confident omega that can get the alpha of their choice.

And Peter knows who he wants.

"Show me, Mr. Stark," Peter asks, just as Tony told him to. He kisses the alpha's tip. "Tell me what to do… Show me what an alpha like you would do to… to an omega like me…"

The spark in his belly has been ignited and an inferno burns inside him. It's not his heat and it's that crystal clear thought that makes Peter realize just how deep he's in. if Tony makes him feel like this before he's even taken his first mating flight… He's not sure if he'll make it through the season.

The heat, this… insatiable hunger he has for his mentor may just very well burn him up from the inside out.

And then Peter realizes just how fucked he is.

He wraps his lips around Tony's cock, eyes blazing with fire.

Show me.

#starker #madstarker writes #keyz fic #intersex omegas #NFF #omegaverse

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djappleblush · 4 years

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A night of mishaps (Born Again fanfic)

So let's just pretend that while Soo Hyuk, Sa Bin, and their team were investigating the Donggang mummy case, there were a lot more encounters that had occured between our #FormalinCouple. Their relationship deserves so much more good angst and development, y'know. This fic happened between the car accident scene and Sa Bin's experimental kiss. Here goes:

Jung Sa Bin examined herself in the mirror one more time and signed.

She was currently in her private suite in the NFS dressed in a black mini dress. She had just come from a party earlier that night that the Seoyeon univerty arranged in a hotel for the new professors, and since she was the newest addition to the staff, not to mention the youngest, her presence had been highly expected.

Sa Bin had been more than ready to throw away her heels and call it a night, but she had been called on an emergency at NFS that she could only groan to herself in frustration. There goes her plan for an early bedtime.

She had taken a deep breath and ignored the throbbing on her feet, and then she had walked straight up to her department head and excused herself, then exited the banquet hall in a hurry and went out to hail a cab that took her directly to her lab. It was already halfway through the NFS that she'd realized she left her coat in her seat. Sa Bin had closed her eyes tightly in utter frustration and screamed in her head. Now she had to walk around in nothing but her dress in the cold weather.

When she'd arrived at the NFS, Sa Bin had gotten off the cab and entered the building with her head bowed. She'd ignored the stares she received and almost run to her private suite. She'd run into Seo Young down the hallways and her colleague had looked at her and smiled apologetically. "You look like you were having fun tonight. Too bad we ruined it."

Sa Bin then felt her feet protest in her heels. She was about to assure her that she was more than glad to have escaped the party but decided against it. Instead she only nodded and smiled back. "It's no problem at all."

Sa Bin had headed to her suite to change, but stopped on her tracks at the door when she'd realized with a gasp that she had also forgotten to bring a change of clothes and shoes.

Now she was there in front of her mirror, looking at herself and wondering how she could be so stupid. For a minute, Sa Bin berated herself for being so forgetful before something in the corner of her eye caught her attention. Turning her head, she saw her white coat hanging on the rack. She stared at it as though it was the first time she'd ever seen it and that's when an idea struck her, making her smile.

Finally, Sa Bin put on her white lab coat and secured the buttons closed, before marching towards the autopsy room feeling quite proud of her ingenuity. A moment later, she was joined by Seo Young and they quickly set to work.

‐----------------

Kim Soo Hyuk was not in the best of moods, as he had been in the past couple of weeks since he took on the Donggang mummy case. His irritation was partly because of how messy the case had been, but the main cause of his ire was no other than a particularly well-meaning but headstrong woman at the NFS: Jung Sa Bin.

The woman actually had the gall to oppose him. Had the circumstances of their meeting been different, he could have admired her spunk, but not when she was directly making his life harder.

Soo Hyuk narrowed his eyes as he caught sight of the NFS building just a block away. He made up his mind to get her to work with him no matter what as he sped his car toward his destination.

-----------------

Sa Bin was busily engrossed in proofreading her finished report in front of the computer when she heard Seo Young's phone went off. Her colleague answered the call. Sa Bin didn't let that distract her and went back to her task, eager to finish so she could finally go home and get rid of her heels and makeup.

That was until Seo Young hung up the phone and abruptly turned to her. "Sa Bin-ah, Prosecutor Kim will be joining us in a short while."

That made Sa Bin turn her attention to Seo Young. For some odd reason, just the mention of the Prosecutor's name made her heartbeat erratic. She had been in an argument with the man in the few times they had met, and she knew she could take him head on despite his domineering nature. But lately, specially after their last encounter in the hospital when he saved her life from the car accident, Sa Bin found herself getting nervous just by thinking about the Prosecutor or just by hearing his name. It had never happened to her before and she was afraid to contemplate why she felt that way. Sa Bin swallowed and carefully hid her sudden nervousness with a blank expression.

"Prosecutor Kim?" She repeated, unable to keep the strain from her voice. "What business does he have here?"

"He has some documents to pick up. He'd asked me to prepare them in advance. Also..." here, Seo Young stared at her that made her insides squirm.

Sa Bin blinked. "Why are you staring at me like that?"

"Well," she began cautiously. "Prosecutor Kim mentioned about wanting to discuss something with you."

She was about to clarify what that meant when the glass doors opened and Kim Soo Hyuk himself came strutting in, wearing his pinstriped suit and that silent but palpable confidence of him that made him as intimidating as he had looked the very first time she saw him.

The Prosecutor's piercing eyes zeroed in on hers and they locked gazes for a few seconds, before he looked away and turned them on Seo Young.

"Prosecutor Kim," Seo Young acknowledged in a cordial manner, while Sa Bin only stayed silent as she slowly turned away and unconsciously tightened her lab coat around herself. The rhythm of her heartbeat had doubled and it was so loud she became afraid the two would hear it. She pretended to study the bones neatly laid across the autopsy table, trying to calm herself while wondering what's happening to her.

"Did you prepare the documents, Professor Yoo?" Sa Bin heard Soo Hyuk asking, his voice uniquely deep and masculine.

"Yes, I did." Seo Young answered. "Wait here a moment. I'll get them from my office."

Oh, gods. Sa Bin silently screamed when she heard Seo Young walk out. She knew her colleague did that on purpose to give her and the Prosecutor some privacy. She wasn't ready to face him, nor be alone with him! She fought the panic that threatened to engulf her. What could the Prosecutor possibly want to discuss with her?

Just then, Sa Bin gasped audibly in surprise and backed away when she felt a presence behind her. Turning, Sa Bin saw that Soo Hyuk was now only a few meters away from her, his eyes boring on her widened ones.

"What are you doing?" She almost shrieked.

Soo Hyuk furrowed a brow and cocked his head to the side. "You seemed so busy it looked like you didn't even notice I'm in the room." He stated matter-of-factly, though his eyes hinted that they both knew it wasn't the case.

Soo Hyuk suddenly looked her up and down, an unreadable expression on his face.

Sa Bin felt extremely conscious when she remembered how she looked that night. Discreetly, she looked down to see if her lab coat had opened to reveal her minidress. She signed inwardly in relief when she saw that nothing was amiss.

Sa Bin waited for him to say something. After all, she looked so different that night, with full makeup on and her hair tied behind her back with matching dangling earrings. Not that she was looking for a compliment from him, of course, since Soo Hyuk didn't look like the type to give one. But surely he noticed her unsual appearance and was bound to comment on it.

Sa Bin was disappointed, however, when Soo Hyuk spoke about something entirely different from what she was expecting.

"Any developments on the Donggang mummy case?" Though his tone was businesslike, his words held a deeper meaning.

This wasn't lost on Sa Bin who raised her chin and met his eyes, completely forgetting that just a second ago, she unconsciously wanted to get a compliment out of him. "I have nothing more to say to you, Prosecutor Kim. I know you told Professor Yoo that you want to discuss something with me, but if it has anything to do with making me cooperate with your illegal dealings, then you're just wasting your time."

Sa Bin was quite proud of how steady her voice had sounded despite her nerves going haywire. She expected the Prosecutor to snap at her in anger, but instead he only stared at her as though he was searching her face for something. And then he smirked, which unnerved her even more.

"I don't usually go about scaring women, ms. Jung Sa Bin, but you might just be an exemption."

Sa Bin's eyes narrowed. "And you think you can scare me?" She challenged. "You think so highly of yourself, Prosecutor Kim."

"Perhaps," Soo Hyuk drawled, his eyes glinting with dark intent. "Either way, you'll cooperate with me."

"What are you planning to do?" She asked in sudden alarm, unable to stop herself.

"We'll see." He was starting to walk away when she stopped him with her words.

"Would you.... would you really resort to something like that if I didn't cooperate?" She didn't mean to, but her voice lost its strength and instead came out vulnerable. Unbeknownst to her, it struck something primal in Soo Hyuk.

Once again, the two locked eyes and Sa Bin felt as though her heart would burst, specially when Soo Hyuk inched a little more closer than she was comfortable with. She fought the instinct to take a step back when he was finally within her personal space. His mere presence seemed to have enveloped all of her senses, tickling her nostrils with his clean and exquisitely masculine scent that seemed to have ingrained itself in her subconscious.

Sa Bin snapped out of her reverie and noticed that Soo Hyuk's eyes were no longer mocking, but had a strange emotion in them. It made her breath catch in her throat. If she didn't know any better, she would have mistaken it for tenderness. But it couldn't be.

"I admit, ms. Sa Bin," She was startled to hear his voice again, now low and sounded much like a caress. "I do enjoy scaring people, but I'm not looking forward to doing that to you."

Sa Bin's lips parted in part shock and part wonderment, all of which were painfully apparent on her face and Soo Hyuk was staring at it in silent scrutiny.

"Then... you do know I can't just-"

"So don't give me a reason to." He interrupted.

Sa Bin was at a loss for words. She was too busy staring at those dark, deep eyes of his that seemed to speak into her very soul, and it didn't help that Soo Hyuk appeared to be doing the same. She was just about to speak when the door opened again, and Soo Hyuk nonchalantly stepped away from her as Seo Young entered.

Sa Bin let go of the breath she didn't know she was holding. She watched Seo Young walk over to Soo Hyuk and hand him some folders, unaware of the tension that had transpired between them.

"I have already included the latest updates in these documents," Seo Young said. "Just call me if you have any more questions."

Soo Hyuk gave a curt nod in response.

Seo Young turned to the silent Sa Bin. "Sa Bin-ah, are you done with the report?"

Sa Bin clenched her fists in an attempt to silence her thundering heart. "Ah, yes. I am." She answered absent-mindedly.

"Then we'll call it a night. See you tomorrow?"

"Ah, yes, see you tomorrow." Sa Bin wanted to bang her head on the table for being so conscious of Soo Hyuk's presence. She stole a quick glance at the man to see if he noticed her inner struggle. She almost recoiled in shock when she discovered he was indeed looking at her. She decided it would be best if she left already to prevent humiliating herself further.

Crossing her arms tightly around her chest, Sa Bin muttered a quick "good bye to both of you," before scurrying out of the autopsy room as though she was being hounded.

-----------------

Soo Hyuk watched in grim amusement as Sa Bin practically ran out the autopsy room. He could tell that she had been intimidated by his subtle threat, and instead of feeling elated about it as he had wanted to, it surprisingly brought a bitter pang within him.

Sa Bin was just as stubborn and headstrong as he was. The last thing Soo Hyuk expected from her was to fear him. For some reason, when she did, a strong urge to wipe it off of her had compelled him into action. He couldn't believe he had acted against his own nature and actually offered her an indirect reprieve from his threat. He had to suppress a sign from escaping him as he remembered what he had done. He would never admit to it, but something inside of him rebelled at the thought that Sa Bin's fear would make her distance herself from him. He told himself he needed her because of her knowledge of the case they were both working on and nothing else. But something was still nagging at the back of his mind.

Damn, Soo Hyuk grumbled. How can she affect me like this even when she's not in front of me? That stubborn woman!

Yoo Seo Young's voice brought him out of his musings.

"I'll go ahead, Prosecutor Kim. I still have to straighten some things out in my office."

"Yes, go ahead." He answered, and the professor bowed and walked out.

Soo Hyuk followed suit and headed down toward the basement parking lot, his mind filled with the day's events and of one, specific woman.

---------------------

Sa Bin slowly walked out of the NFS building on her heels and white lab coat. She knew she looked silly with the lab coat on but she'd rather go home in it than just her dress and no protective shield for the cold at all.

When Sa Bin reached the sidewalk, the streets were already dark and empty. Well, good. No one would see her walking around in her special coat.

Sa Bin pulled out her phone to check the time. It was already one fifteen in the morning. Only a few cars were on the road. She decided to walk a few blocks away from the NFS building to wait for a taxi in case Seo Young or worse, Prosecutor Kim, drive by and risk spotting her.

As Sa Bin kept on walking, she couldn't stop wincing. Her feet felt like they were on fire from wearing her heels all day. She approached a lamp post and leaned on it while bending a little to massage her aching calf. Suddenly, her stomach growled.

Great! She sulked as she straightened and wrapped her arms around her middle. Not only are my feet hurting, I'm tired and hungry, too. When will this misery end?

She jumped in shock when a loud beep suddenly reverberated in the night. Sa Bin quickly snapped her head to the direction of the sound and she paled considerably when she noticed a familiar car parked across from where she stood.

Oh, god, please. What have I done to deserve this?

Sa Bin's face was set in a kind of grimace when the window at the passenger seat of the car rolled down and it revealed Kim Soo Hyuk's face.

"Where is the excavation site?"

"What?" She squeaked in confusion.

"You're still wearing your lab coat I thought you're on your way to another excavation. Is out here the extension of your lab, ms. Jung Sa Bin?" Soo Hyuk said mockingly.

Sa Bin gritted her teeth at him as her cheeks reddened. "What do you care, mr. Prosecutor?" If he thought she'd give him an explanation for the lab coat, he had another thing coming. "Why don't you just leave me alone?"

"Get in." He ordered.

Sa Bin froze and stared at him. "What?" She asked dumbly.

The Prosecutor threw her a pointed look. "Get in, ms. Jung Sa Bin. It'll take you at least an hour to wait for a taxi this late."

"Thank you, but I'd rather wait that long." She answered smugly.

"Yes, and do you know how many women had been kidnapped and murdered within that time frame waiting out here on a deserted street in a week?"

"That's not going to work on me, you know." She said despite feeling a bit of fear about that information.

"Didn't your feet hurt?"

She gasped at his sudden change of tactic. "How did- wait, were you watching me?" She asked incredulously.

"For five minutes. I could already tell your feet were about ready to give up."

Sa Bin was blushing furiously. "Excuse me-"

"You're wasting my time. Get in before I drag you."

"Alright, I'm getting in." Now Sa Bin didn't relent because she was afraid of getting dragged - although she knew full well that by the look on Soo Hyuk's face, it wouldn't be above him to follow through with his threat. The truth was that in spite of herself and her nervousness around the man, she felt safe in his company. Prosecutor Kim Soo Hyuk exuded the aura of a very capable and dependable man.

Sa Bin pulled open the car door on the passenger side and settled back on her seat comfortably. The way she sunk on the soft upholstery almost made her purr in delight, specially how she could finally relax her aching back and legs. She could now see how stupid she would have been if she'd refused Soo Hyuk's offer. She closed her eyes in utter contentment.

After some time, she couldn't still feel any movement from the man beside her, so Sa Bin opened her eyes to look at Soo Hyuk, who she caught staring at her unabashedly. Sa Bin felt her cheeks burn and her heartbeat became erratic again.

"Yah! What's the matter?" She asked in mock anger to hide her feelings.

"You forgot to buckle up." Soo Hyuk answered dryly.

"Oh. Uhm, sorry."

--------------------

As Sa Bin twisted to the side to reach for her seatbelt, Soo Hyuk readied to step on the accelerator, but a flash of white in the corner of his eye made him turn his attention back to Sa Bin again.

It was then he realized that the flash he spotted was actually Sa Bin's creamy, white thighs that had been revealed when the hem of her lab coat had ridden up because of her movement.

Cursing silently, Soo Hyuk immediately straightened up and averted his gaze as his hands instinctively tightened on the steering wheel while he fought to banish the images that had suddenly popped in his head.

He willed himself to focus on the road as he drove on. Why Sa Bin was wearing that white lab coat of hers outside NFS he would never know, and he'd rather be struck with lightning than show her a sliver of his dying curiosity, specially about why she was looking so exceptional tonight. Did she go on a date earlier that evening?

Of course, he had noticed her unusual attire since back in the autopsy room, and he admit Sa Bin was a beautiful woman. When he'd arrived at NFS, he didn't expect to see her looking more radiant than he'd ever seen her before. Her delicately soft and smooth facial features that had been tastefully accentuated by her makeup and tied hair, along with the image of her long, shapely legs beneath the hem of her lab coat and her dainty feet encased in black stilettos had been seared deep in his memory that he was sure only a brain damage could ever remove them. He had to still himself for a brief moment to regain his composure. It was odd. It wasn't like he hadn't had his fair share of beautiful women, but no other woman had ever had that effect on him, not even his own fiancèè.

He had also seen the way she looked at him as though seeking for his approval, but the sudden reminder of Sang Ah had made him decide to keep his mouth shut. He figured it wouldn't be in her best interest to show his appreciation, no matter how much he wanted to, lest she take it the wrong way.

Soo Hyuk slowly took a deep, calming breath. It was so unlike of him to be preoccupied of things outside his work. Discretely, he stole a glance at Sa Bin. He didn't know if he should be relieved to see that she had pulled her coat down or lament about it.

Goddamn it! He cursed again as he realized the direction of his mind had taken. For goodness' sake, stop acting like a hormonal teenager.

Soo Hyuk knew he needed something to distract himself from the woman on his passenger seat.

As if an answer to his prayer, Sa Bin spoke up. "Prosecutor Kim, can you drop me off at the corner mart? I need to buy something." The mart she was talking about was a good two blocks away from her home. What could she need to buy there at this hour with her sore feet?

You idiot. It's the best option if you really want to spend less time with her in your car. That mart is nearer than her house. His mind screamed at him.

Soo Hyuk ignored the other part of him that protested. Strengthening his resolve, he looked at Sa Bin briefly and nodded, and then he focused back on driving.

--------------------

Thankfully, mercifully, Sa Bin and Soo Hyuk finally reached their destination with nothing more shared between them but silence, each of them preoccupied with thoughts of their own.

Soo Hyuk pulled over across the mart. Sa Bin quickly unbuckled herself. The need to be away from Soo Hyuk had never been stronger than that moment. She needed the space desperately to calm herself and get her heartbeat back to its normal rhythm.

Sa Bin turned to Soo Hyuk. "Uhm... thank you for the ride, Prosecutor Kim. I'll get off now."

When he only looked at her without saying anything, she pursed her lips and took that as acknowledgement before exiting.

Sa Bin didn't look back as she walked towards the mart.

Half an hour later, Sa Bin had finished eating her two bowls of noodles at the corner table provided by the mart for their dine-in customers. When she had walked in wearing her lab coat, the male cashier had looked at her as though she had grown two heads, but Sa Bin had ignored the man. There had been no other thought in her head at that moment but to fill her stomach with food, and no one can deter her from her goal.

She'd only realized how hungry she truly was when she peeled open her bowl and the sweet aroma of her noodles wafted into the air, filling her senses with its delicious promise of fulfillment. So hungry, in fact, that she was able to finish everything in record time, not pausing or giving any attention to her surrounding or at the couple of other people seated opposite her. In her hurry, she accidentally spilled some noodles on her lab coat. The hot soup came in contact with her skin as it soaked both her coat and her dress, and she gave a startled cry. She stood up and was forced to take the coat off. The cashier, who had been restocking the shelf and saw what happened, hurried over to her with a roll of tissues. Sa Bin gratefully accepted his assistance, noting that he was smiling widely at her.

"You stained your coat," he said in an amused tone. "You must really love your job, doctor."

Instead of correcting him, Sa Bin only smiled and nodded, wondering why disaster after disaster kept happening to her that night.

"But it's ok, though," the cashier blabbered on. "You look great in your dress."

Again, Sa Bin didn't say anything and only kept smiling, hoping he would get the hint that she was in no mood to talk. Thankfully, he caught on. After assuring the cashier she was alright, he left her to go back to his task.

Sa Bin signed and then picked up her belongings and the empty bowls to dispose of them in the bin, and then at the last minute walked back to the shelf to buy two more bowls to take home with her. She'd also added some apples, bananas, a cheese and ham sandwich, and a huge bottle of orange juice. For the moment, she ignored the pain on her feet as she paid for her items and headed out the door.

"Have a nice evening, doc!" Sa Bin heard the cashier call out from behind her. She briefly looked back over her shoulder to flash him a smile and walked out.

Sa Bin had walked half a block away from the mart when she finally stopped on her tracks. The pain on her feet had become unbearable that she could no longer walk a step further. Not even the cold distracted her from her pain. Sa Bin dragged herself against the wall and tried to think of something.

I might have to get amputated for this. Oh, damn. It hurts so much. Whoever thought heels were perfect footwear for women obviously didn't think this through. She grimaced. It seems like I have no other option.

Sa Bin held her grocey bag and lab coat in one hand, and then she looked up and down the street to make sure no one was around before she used her other hand to steady herself on the wall as she stepped out of her heels.

A deep sign of relief escaped her lips as she felt her feet come in contact with the cold, rough ground. The feeling of muscles that had been finally released from squeezing pressure felt so exquisite. She massaged her calves and wiggled her toes to relax her feet more. And then she picked up her heels and began to walk away, praying she wouldn't run into anyone. She shivered as the cold night wind breezed through her.

It's just another block from the apartment. Sa Bin assured herself. I'll just soak my feet in soap and disinfectant when I get home. I'd rather crawl than walk again in those cursed heels! Maybe if I ran for it-

Sa Bin almost screamed when a loud beep sounded off behind her. Immediately, she felt her heart race. She swallowed and slowly turned around, imagining a black van filled with masked men ready to abduct her.

She could have died of embarassment right there and then when she saw who was the owner of the car. She was on the side of the driver and was looking directly at Kim Soo Hyuk's face.

-------------------

Soo Hyuk knew he should have driven away, but for the life of him, he didn't know why instead of driving home right after Sa Bin got off his car, he found himself parking on the side road and waiting.

He shouldn't care about her, that's what he kept telling himself, but the fact his mind was screaming that it was already almost three in the morning and the streets were deserted kept him from leaving. He was reminded of the night when she'd encountered a drunkard on her way home and he had come to her rescue as though it happened only yesterday. He could still clearly remember the anger and anxiousness he felt that night thinking Sa Bin was in danger. The urge to rescue her had felt like a burning, insistent need that can't be quenched until he had made sure she was alright. It had only been by sheer control that kept him from getting off his car and pummeling the drunkard. And right now, that same protective feeling was back. Looking straight ahead, Soo Hyuk kept his eyes trained towards the mart's entrance.

It was forty five minutes later when he finally spotted Jung Sa Bin emerge from the mart. Soo Hyuk's hold on the steering wheel tightened and he frowned when he saw that she was no longer wearing her lab coat but was carrying it on her arm along a bag of groceries. She was now only on her black mini dress, her long legs and alluring figure in full view. She looked so different from her everyday attire of blouses, pants, and sneakers. No wonder she kept the lab coat on.

Sa Bin didn't notice him and walked on the opposite direction. He waited until she was a good distance away before following with his car. That's when he noticed her lean against a wall and take off her shoes. Soo Hyuk's frown deepened.

She isn't seriously gonna walk home barefoot, is she? His answer came when Sa Bin picked up her stilletos then resumed walking. His eyes narrowed to slits. Well, damn.

The thought that she'd have to suffer like that - and the possibility that some other man could see her dressed so sexily and think of doing something funny - was more than enough reason for Soo Hyuk to make his presence known to Sa Bin, so he honked and pulled over right beside her.

-----------------

"I don't think it's beneficial to your health to walk around on the street and in this weather without any shoes on."

Sa Bin got over her shock and instinctively held her stuff to her chest as though to hide herself from him. She could feel her cheeks burning in extreme embarassment. At the same time, she was filled with wonder at Soo Hyuk's sudden reappearance.

"Wh-what are you still doing here, Prosecutor Kim?" She couldn't help voicing out. Then something else occured to her. "I thought you left. Did you wait for m-"

Sa Bin immediately shut up and backed away as Soo Hyuk stepped out of his car and faced her, fixing her with those piercing eyes of his that never failed to make her heart race.

She watched in awed silence mixed with confusion as Soo Hyuk wordlessly took off his jacket and deftly draped it around her shoulders. Sa Bin's eyes widened and she was about to open her mouth when Soo Hyuk took her arm and guided her to the passenger side of his car.

"Prosecutor Kim, you don't hav-"

He cut her off by practically shoving her in after he opened the door for her. She decided it was best to stay silent and just let Soo Hyuk drive her across the remaining distance to her house.

It took them only three minutes to finally reach Sa Bin's home. As Soo Hyuk parked outside her residence, Sa Bin swallowed her nervousness and turned to the Prosecutor.

"You shouldn't have bothered to wait for me and take me home, but thank you, anyway."

"A simple "thanks" would have sufficed for my trouble." Soo Hyuk answered tonelessly without looking at her, which made her want to roll her eyes.

"I didn't ask you to wait for me, now did I?" Sa Bin said in annoyance. She took a deep breath to calm down, telling herself that she owed him and that she shouldn't be so snarly. "Ok, fine. Thank you for your trouble, Prosecutor Kim."

Her change in tone made him look at her. She expected him to throw her another sarcastic remark but what he did next surprised her.

Soo Hyuk stepped out of the car and Sa Bin watched as he rounded to her side, opening her car door for her.

Sa Bin suddenly felt sort of out of her element. She didn't expect Soo Hyuk to have such a gentlemanly side. He had seemed to be the type who couldn't be bothered by things that didn't concern him.

Clutching her belongings, Sa Bin got off, still barefoot. She was careful not to let her dress hike up as she alighted from the car.

Soo Hyuk was watching her with faint concern. Sa Bin looked at him sheepishly.

"I... I guess I already owe you big time, Prosecutor. I've been such a bother." She looked down at herself. "Can you hold my stuff for a minute? I'll just take off your jacket-"

"You can return it to me on another day," Soo Hyuk interrupted. "It's impractical to have you take it off in this cold wearing that thin dress of yours."

Sa Bin blushed profusely. She bit her lip and averted her face to hide it. She wanted to tell Soo Hyuk it was such a ridiculous reasoning considering that though they were indeed out in the cold street, it wasn't like they're miles away from her home. Nevertheless, she was grateful for his offer because she wasn't really comfortable with taking his jacket off right in front of him and have him see her in her mini dress again.

Soo Hyuk stared at her averted, cherry-red face, and he smirked to himself. "You're awfully easy to tease, aren't you?"

Sa Bin quickly raised her chin in a sudden flare of defiance. "Excuse me! No, I am not, mr. Prosecutor. I don't know what made you think that, but it's farthest from the truth. I am not one of those hooligans you love to bully so much." Sa Bin saw the look on Soo Hyuk's face. "Hey, stop making fun of me! If you must know, I already know what type of man you are."

Soo Hyuk straightened, a glint of mischief in his eyes. "And what would that be?"

"Well.... that you're the a....a..." Sa Bin looked away as she struggled to think of something. "The bossy type!" She exclaimed. She smiled triumphantly. "You like to scare people and you love getting your way."

"You have an amazing analytical talent."

"Of course!" She said smugly.

"If that's the case, then you shouldn't be surprised if I do this."

"Do what- ah!"

Sa Bin squealed when she suddenly found herself off the ground as Soo Hyuk swooped in to sweep her off her feet in a flash, carrying her bridal style in his strong arms. Her arms instinctively wrapped around his neck in utter shock.

"Prosecutor Kim!" She screamed. "What are you doing? Put me down!" She tried to get free, afraid that somebody in the neighborhood might see them, but her struggle only made Soo Hyuk's hold on her tighten as he walked up to the entrance of her apartment building.

"Please, put me down." She tried again.

"Which floor?"

"What?"

"Which floor is your unit, ms. Jung Sa Bin?" Soo Hyuk clarified as though she was a small child.

She blinked. "Put me down first."

"Either you tell me which floor or I carry you back to my car and take you home with me. Your choice."

"You can't do that!" She exclaimed in a panic.

"You already said I'm the bossy type."

She gaped at him. "You are overreacting-" she was trying to say, but quickly took it back when Soo Hyuk began to turn back to his car. "Ok, ok! Third floor! Please, stop-"

"Jsut be quiet and let me do what I have to do so we can get this over with."

The pleading tone in his usually stern voice did the trick. Once again, Sa Bin found herself speechless at Soo Hyuk's command.

As they began to climb up the stairs, Sa Bin couldn't help but notice how Soo Hyuk's calloused and rough palms were pressed against her back and thighs from where he was holding her; of how the heat radiating off his body was seeping through hers in the most awkward yet comforting way imaginable, banishing the coldness she felt.

She discovered she loved the way he was holding her. Soo Hyuk's grip on her body was firm yet gentle, and she noticed the subtle way he pressed her closer to him as to avoid jostling her too much as he took careful, measured steps in ascending the stairs. Her heartbeat had never stopped its erratic beating, and yet there was a part of her that felt secure in his arms. She suddenly wanted to lean her head against his chest and close her eyes.

Sa Bin became horrified when she realized what just crossed her mind. Thankfully, they finally reached her floor.

Soo Hyuk carefully put Sa Bin down in front of her unit. He pretended not to notice when she reached down to straighten her dress.

Sa Bin turned around and tried balancing her belongings in one arm as she used the other to fumble for the keys in her purse. She was surprised, yet again, when Soo Hyuk took her heels and lab coat to hold them for her. There was a moment of eye contact between them before Sa Bin continued to look for her keys.

This has seriously been the longest night of my life, Sa Bin gravely mused. It's like all misfortune that could befall anyone has been dumped on me on this particular day. Nobody deserves this. Oh, god, where are those damn keys?

It seemed apparent to her now that she'd always humiliate herself in front of Kim Soo Hyuk no matter the circumstance. The only explanation she could think of was perhaps, in her past life, she had caused the downfall of her nation, or worse.

Sa Bin could feel Soo Hyuk's eyes on her as she continued her search. She almost shout in glee when she finally found her keys. She inserted it on the keyhole and opened the door to her unit.

When she turned back to the man behind her, she couldn't stop smiling in amusement at him. Soo Hyuk raised an eyebrow, but she refused to explain what she found amusing.

She would never tell him how comical he looked standing there in his expensive suit while holding her heels like a salesman. Oh, no. That would be for her private amusement. Instead, her smile blossomed into a more sincere one.

"I don't know how to say this, but I think you just saved my life multiple times tonight. So, uhm, would a simple "thanks" still suffice?"

Kim Soo Hyuk stared at her smiling face, and he felt as though all his trouble had been worth it. He had the sudden urge to tuck the stray strands of Sa Bin's hair behind her ear but held back. He fought to keep his emotions from showing. He handed Sa Bin back her belongings and motioned toward her apartment with a slight nod of his head.

"Let's not think of anything else for now, ms. Sa Bin. It's late and you still have a long day tomorrow-" he looked at his wristwatch. "Well, I guess I should say "later.'"

Sa Bin nodded her head, suddenly feeling a dread for Soo Hyuk's impending departure.

Seeing her unmoving, Soo Hyuk suppressed a sign as he placed a hand on her shoulder and gently nudged her inside her apartment.

"It's cold out here. Now get in there and rest." He held the door and began to close it. "I'll see you around."

"Oh. Ok." Sa Bin stood there and watched as the door was finally closed shut, feeling a kind of loss now that Soo Hyuk had gone.

She was suddenly filled with a surreal feeling as though everything that had happened that night was only a dream.

Sa Bin tore herself away fron the door and walked towards the tiny kitchen where she dropped her heels and lab coat on a chair, before she leaned on the counter to replay the events of the night in her head. One thing she was sure now: Kim Soo Hyuk was indeed a gentleman. She never expected that he'd have that side to him, but it warmed her heart that he had chosen to show it to her. Despite his snide comments, she could see he genuinely cared for her wellbeing. The fact that he even waited for her to finish her grocery and even took her home, carrying her and everything, showed her there was more to him that she'd imagined.

Sa Bin smiled to herself and raised her arms. Suddenly, she remembered that she was still wearing Soo Hyuk's jacket. Quickly, she took it off, and on an impulse, brought it to her face to inhale Soo Hyuk's scent. She felt ridiculous doing it but she couldn't care less at the moment. And then she brought the jacket close to her chest. Idly, she wondered what could be happening to her.

Outside Sa Bin's apartment, Soo Hyuk stood a few more seconds just looking at the door he had just closed, oddly satisfied that Jung Sa Bin was home and safe. And then he turned and walked away.

-fin-

#born again #formalin couple #SooYeon couple #kdrama #jin se yeon #lee soo hyuk #born again fic #fixing what kbs broke #also #I really ship #Jin Se Yeon and Lee Soo Hyuk #so fvcking much #no regrets #lmao #more fics coming

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