#but what im talking ab is the same person coming into my inbox and asking when their req will be done

[redr0sewrites]

Any the dragon prince imagines on the way?

I know you have it please i need my Soran fix?!

this is the fifth time i've received this question in the past 2 weeks alone, and i've tried to be kind before, but i really don't know how else to phrase this at this point. i have mutiple tdp wips on their way, and i hate having to repeatedly answer this question. idk if its just difficult for me to read tones online or whatever, but people repeatedly asking ab tdp and tdp fics are starting to become rude and demanding. whenever i write for a fandom other than tdp i always get people suddenly rushing to my inbox and asking ab when my next tdp fic is gonna come out, and honestly, i really don't know. its so irritating bc, shocker, i have interests other than tdp!!! i love writing for the dragon prince and i love writing fics, but honestly some of yall r so demanding when it comes to requests.

also, the way ur asking is just plain rude. coming into my inbox on anon and demanding i write a request is just so immature, and the "i know u have it"???? if i had it done, wouldn't i have posted it already?? im trying to be as nice as possible but please stop asking this question and please stop being demanding in my inbox. im working on reqs as fast as i can, and tdp isn't the only thing im writing for. be more patient, and honestly, if u want a soren fic so bad, just write it urself instead of coming into authors' inboxs and begging.

#rose rambling #the dragon prince #tdp #leave authors alone challenge: go #its not that hard #ik this seems so rude but im sick and tired of people coming into my inbox and asking when im gonna post my next tdp fic #also side note #STOP SENDING THE SAME ASK THREE TIMES PLEASE #I GOT THE ASK #U DONT NEED TO SEND IT MULTIPLE TIMES #like i understand if multiple people r asking for the same thing #but what im talking ab is the same person coming into my inbox and asking when their req will be done #not all anons r rude #most of u r so so sweet #and i love writing reqs for u all #but some people r really being so frustrating

[angelicrebelsworld]

9+

8

Tite Photography

What services do you offer?

5 hours ago

Im Am my Own Attorney Sir!! (PRO SE) THAT WHAT HAPPENS IN CIVIL COURT.. CRIMINAL COURT THEY APPOINT YOU AN ATTORNEY!! DID YOU MISS THE MEMO. NOW YOU WHERE IN COURT WITH ME WHEN THE JUDGE GAVE THE BRIEFING SCHEDULE ORDER WTF WOULD I BE CONTACTING YOU IF YOU DIDNT OWE ME MONEY. BECAUSE YOU DO NOT REPEAT OWN A BUSINESS NAMED (TITEPHOTOGRAPHY) & ive Already FILED MY COMPLAINT AGAINST YOU. I DNT HAVE A LETTER STATING I OWE YOU SHIT. AND I HAVE FOLLOW SHIT. (FYI) BECAUSE THE ORDER IS BASE OF MY RESPONSE TO THE HEARING WE HAD DEC 19, 2020V@ 9:15AM FOR YOUR DAMAGES.. NOW SUMBODY IS GONNA TELL ME HOW THE FUCK I OWE YOU MONEY AND CAUSE YOU DAMAGES ON A BUSINESS YOU BROUGHT NO PROVE TO COURT YOU OWN.. NO TAX DOCUMENTS/ PERMITS/LICENSE. JUST NOW THIS WHAT I SENT YOUR ATTORNEY. NOW IM NOT SURE IF YOU GOT THE MEMO!! OR A CERTIFIED LETTER FROM LAYWER. HOW DID YOU PROVE YOUR CASE?? I HAVE RECEIPTS(CERTIFIED)💪 NOW THIS IS THE SECOND TIME I SPOKE YOU IN A WEEK.. IF YOU DIDNT KNO YOU HAVE BEEN SERVED📷🎯📷 (PERSONAL SERVICE) YOU BE HEARING FROM ME SOON AGAIN. TRUST😘

5 hours ago

5 hours ago

I’ll let you figure it out in court. I have noted this as harassment. If there is anymore that you need to say i advise you to go through the court.

5 hours ago · Sent from Mobile

I already have.. Please call the court OR HAVE YOU ATTORNEY CALL ME PLEASE IVE SENT HIM PLENTY OF EMAILS. PLEASE BECAUSE I WANT A RESPONSE MY MOTION I FILED. AND THE COURT ORDER I FOLLOWED&/FOLLOWING😘

5 hours ago

5 hours ago

Let me help you out. We went to court dec 18 2019.

5 hours ago · Sent from Mobile

My motion ABOVE WAS WHAT WAS SUMMITED ON THE 30TH. HOW CUD YOU GET A JUDGEMENT WITHOUT MY LETTER GETTING A RESPONSE.

5 hours ago

as far as the case goes i have nothing i need to do. But imma tell u again you shooting yourself in the foot by creating pages with my name and constantly harrsssing me. So keep on you not doing nothing but giving me more abs more evidence to show the judge.

5 hours ago · Sent from Mobile

YOU WAS FILED IN OPEN COURT @ THE HEARING FOR DAMAGES. HE HEARD YOUR SIDE. AND GOT MY LETTER AND SENT ME NOTHING. WHICH IS WHY IM CONTACTING YOU. SO WE CAN GET THIS SHIT SETTLED..

*yours

5 hours ago

Oh so u gonna play stupid . I would try to help you understand but you so hell bent on whatever cause u think you got u won’t listen .therefore i can’t help. Can’t talk to a brick wal

5 hours ago · Sent from Mobile

Show him i want you to. Please 🙏 So We Can Get this Settled.. Im not dropping shit. So the Faster you bring it back up in COURT WOULD BE BETTER.. IM NOT WORRIED

THATS IS YOUR BEST BET😘 BECAUSE I HAVE NO ORDER FROM THE JUDGE👌

Im playing stupid.. Im READY 2 DEFEND.. WHERES MY FUCKING JUDGEMENT LETTER THEN. WHERE YOUR PROVE.

5 hours ago

I’m not worried . As far as the judgement letter i can send u a copy . Makes me no difference since you swear you didn’t get but since your suck the investigator why u didn’t pull it off the court website it’s public record

5 hours ago · Sent from Mobile

Thats not how that work. Its get sent to me its a legal document. But im playing stupid😂😂😂

I dnt have 2 go online i went to the court house and seen the file😘

Its called service of process google it

5 hours ago

If you didn’t get that has nothing to do with me . Your a grown woman if you know the judgement was out there you should get in you car and go to the court and find out what happen. Nevertheless a judgement was made against a u i also told u and u still decided to post, contact me and all of that. I advised u to stop but don’t listen . Your choice i will have my lawyer bring another case it’s fine but you will see. If you don’t then i don’t know what to tell u

5 hours ago · Sent from Mobile

5 hours ago

I’m not interested in your legal education that you gain in under a year. Funny that you got so smart legally but you don’t know that all the stuff you doing is considered harassment . What you gonna do when the judge ask u Mrs smith why did you keep contacting me howard? Why did you create pages similiar to his and your not a photographer? I’ll be interested to see what your answer will be.

5 hours ago · Sent from Mobile

Oh but it does have to do with you. Service of process is what you paid a attorney for.. The FUCK THE REASON IM CONTACTING YOU. BECAUSE IVE CONTACTING HIM ALREADY EITHER WAY I NEED THAT LETTER OR WE NEED 2 BE IN A COURTROOM FOR MY MOTION REPLY IF THERE IS ANY CONFUSION CAUSE I NEED A RESPONSE TO MY MOTION. WHICH THE PROBLEM SEEM TO BE YOUR ATTORNEY..

5 hours ago

And you dnt own a photography business i what ive Already SAID IN MY MOTION/LETTER AND IF HE ASK ME IMMA TELL & HIM & YOUTHE SAME SHIT THE FUCK!!!

Without SERVICE OF PROCESS BEING WE ALREADY BEEN TO COURT.. HOW WOULD THAT FALL UNDER HARASSMENT I WOULD CALL LEGAL ABUSE. BECAUSE THATS WHAT IT IS👌

4 hours ago

4 hours ago

You need to look up what all consist of owning a business. Then get back with me . Anyway like i said i can send you the letter since you swear you didn’t get it . If not then go get it from the court. Your choice and u keep hitting this book button. Exactly what I’m talking bout harassment

4 hours ago · Sent from Mobile

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4 hours ago

I will leave this stream open if you need to contact me this way you will have to answer in court to every thing you contact me about. Not gonna keep blocking you and your 50 pages . Let me know if you need that letter i got you .

4 hours ago · Sent from Mobile

4 hours ago

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4 hours ago

I Appreciate you Leaving a Way to contact you FORMALLY I REALLY DO. AND YES I NEED THAT LETTER😘 THANK YOU. BELIEVE OR NOT I DONT GOT NO PROBLEM WIT YOU. LETS JUST GET THIS SHIT TAKING CARE OF!

4 hours ago

4 hours ago

I aint hit or hitting no book button. What are you talking about?

Im talking to you now. What are you talking about? Im not even on your Titephotography page. Im in your inbox typing you

4 hours ago

Ok so if you don’t have no problem with me for real why you creating pages? Trying to befriend my family members and all that ?

4 hours ago · Sent from Mobile

Check your email i have sent it to you

4 hours ago · Sent from Mobile

I need it sent from the judge OR YOUR ATTORNEY to me in order for me to FOLLOW IT. I APPRECIATE THE COPY😘 THANK YOU!! I BE IN TOUCH!! I MESSAGE YOU ON HERE TO FOLLOW UP..

AND WHEN DID YOU GET YOUR LETTER?

4 hours ago

Did you get my Email?

3 hours ago

Terrible u done created that emails you can’t keep up with em

you didn’t answer my question ?

2 hours ago · Sent from Mobile

I can KEEP UP!! ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS HIT REPLY AND SEND THE PICTURE OF THE LETTER.. I THOUGHT YOU GOT CONFUSED.. SO I ASK YOU NICELY IF YOU COULD IT AGAIN. NOW I TRYING TO NOT TALK CRAZY TO YOU.. AND GET THIS HANDLE I DNT NEED YOUR SMART ASS COMMENTS TALKING BOUT I CANT KEEP UP WIT MY SHIT..

2 hours ago

Wel u choosing when to talk you blocked me until u needed the paper but you still avoiding my question i asked

2 hours ago · Sent from Mobile

Im choosing when to TALK?! we Are & Was In A Legal Dispute.. YOU CANT HAVE IT BOTH WAYS EITHER I BLOCK YOU OR YOUR BLOCKING 50 ACCOUNTS OF MINES WHICH ONE IS IT?

2 hours ago

Ok so u right we are in a legal dispute . So i can have the lawyers battle out. I’m baffled as to the point of all the extra stuff u doing . Still lost on this entire thing . I sent u the order to your email go through and check all of them I’m going to bed . I tied to many times to try and be civilized with you about this but you just keep pressing. The issue of nothing.

2 hours ago · Sent from Mobile

CAN WE HANDLE ONE THING @ A TIME... CAN I GET THE EMAIL YOU SAID YOU SENT? PLEASE!! THE EMAIL WAS 1ST. THING IS WHY I HAVENT ANSWER YOUR QUESTION!!

2 hours ago

No it actually wasn’t i asked u the same question i just first presented as if u had to answer it in court .

And like u said it should come from the judge you can get it from them i sent it to the email i had on file for you. I can’t help you any further since your picking and choosing. What to address and what not to

2 hours ago · Sent from Mobile

Which email is that if its not from one from [email protected] because my other accouts are disabled.. If Its not one of the emails accounts i just reply & CC You👌(FYI)

1 hour ago

Not my problem

1 hour ago · Sent from Mobile

The Judgement the only thing we need 2 be ADDRESSING THE FUCK!! DNT U WANT YOU MONEY & YA COURT ORDER FOR HARASSMENT.. I CANT FOLLOW SOMETHING I DIDN'T GET. SO THAT ON YOU GUD NIGHT IM JUST TRYING TO GET THIS SHIT TAKING CARE OF I FIND A WAY. THANKS AWAY😘

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U told the court u have no income . So what money ? U swore u had no job so what money? Ur know so much law that you should know you shouldn’t do anything to affect your case but you still posting stuff that you went to court bout. Still slandering my name . Amongst other things. So don’t try to play me with u just trying to get it all handled if that was the case you would go to the court house and find the judgement

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1 hour ago

http://m.me/titephotograhy

Tite Photography

Photographer

Send Message

1 hour ago · Seen 4:10 AM

[sky-girls]

Look at me

So leaving aside the fact that it’s sad that i can barely keep up with the ficweek me myself decided to do here is day 5 finally!! and i hope you guys enjoy it!!

“im sure i can get some kind of sexual gratification just from staring at /them/  if i try hard enough”

It all starts with a kitty pic and of course  at that moment she doesn’t think much of it. She just sees the picture of one fat, grey kitty on her instagram search page and decides to go to the page of the person to see if maybe they have more pictures of kitties.

And flor.ph , photography student does have some pictures of kitties, some pretty cute and adorable ones, but mostly she has picture of people, lots and lots of attractive people. A particular guy calls her attention. Probably a model, he has to be a model, because he is the hottest guy she has ever seen in her whole life.

He is wearing a white dressing shirt, first few buttons undone and he is looking straight into the camera, his eyes are a deep dark brown and even through the screen of her phone they make heat pool into her lower stomach, his hair is curly and slightly messy and before she can even control it she has images of herself caressing it and pulling it. She sees the description and finds a hashtag #MByFlor. She taps on it instantly.

What she finds takes her breath away almost literally. There’s so, so many pictures of this guy and Luna crosses one leg over the other as she looks around, of course there’s no one, she is alone in her room sitting on her desk but somehow she still feels slightly exposed, like she could be catched doing something wrong any minute, not that there’s anything wrong with just looking at pictures of a guy. But the more she scrolls through the hashtag the more certain thoughts she wouldn’t want anyone else to know, slip into her mind.

She can’t say it’s her fault though, it’s obvious these pictures are made for this kind of reaction, the clothes the poses, the abs, the hands, she has no idea what it is with those hands, but they will be feeding her fantasies quite a while she is sure.

She sighs softly to her face as she  keeps going through the pictures, some of them are staged obviously, there’s no way the way this guy is lounging on a pool chair with his shorts and an opened button up shirt, his abs all noticeable and making Luna’s fingers tingle to touch them as he holds his sunglasses a little bit away from his eyes is not staged. But there are also some that are obviously candids, some that have him messy haired and looking sleepy and it’s such a 180 from the other pics but that still makes her feels things, things like wanting those lips he is biting as he is playing the guitar while wearing glasses and a sweater on hers and every inch of skin they might want to be in.

There’s nothing shameful on following the hashtag and the account, even if she feels kind of ashamed doing it, even if it might be about all that came before that. She just wants to see him again. He is nice to look at.

Why wouldn’t she?

⭐

She learns a few things about the guy the next few weeks as his pictures constantly pop up on her instagram. One, his full name is Matteo, he is cousin of the photographer, who is also super fucking hot by the way, he plays guitar, he seems to like space, he has a grey kitty called Lyra and none of these things help with the massive crush she has been developing on him lately.

It’s not actually a crush of course, she doesn’t know him but she has a pretty decent picture of him on her head and she can fill up the rest in whatever possible ways she likes, she can make him everything she wants him to be and mostly she wants to imagine him on her bed, she also very likes looking at him.

Matteo is very pretty, besides being hot as hell, he is pretty and just looking at him makes all kinds of feelings stir up inside of her body.

She ends up using one of his pictures as her phone’s home screen just because she like looking at him too much and not even Pedro’s incessant teasing will make her change it.

Overall she thinks she could be doing worse, she is not obsessed with him or anything, he is just some hot guy she can use to fill up her thoughts.

The only bad thing is that his account is private. And he hasn’t accepted her yet.

⭐

After vacations things take an unexpected turn, a very very unexpected turn that has her choking on her tea silently as Pedro pats her in the back softly and sends her a weird look.

“What happened?” He asks her when she is better but she doesn’t look at him, she can’t stop staring in front of her. Where fucking Matteo is, in a white button up shirt and black pants looking as hot as ever and maybe even more.

There’s something different about seeing him on real life, something different about the energy he gives off, about the way he makes the room feel. He calls everyone’s attention for one reason or other and he hasn’t even talked yet but she is sure everyone is staring at him and she has no idea how she will manage to breath in this class from now on. There’s no doubt here, Matteo is her T.A.

“Good morning.” He says and his deep voice sends shivers down Luna’s spine in ways she wasn’t ready for. She bites her lower lip and takes a deep shaky breath cause of all the stuff her brain could be doing right now it’s only going all those dreams, all those fantasies, all those moments where she imagined him, his hands, his lips and filling them with words said by him in this exact same voice. It’s even better and hotter than she imagined and she wasn’t ready for this.  “My name is Matteo Balsano and I will be your physics ta this semester.”

She stops paying attention to his voice lulling her softly as she keeps staring at the way his lips move as he talks Pedro kicks her under the table softly and she sends him a glare. He sends her a questioning look and she blushes more that she ever has, she slowly takes out her phone of her pockets praying Matteo doesn’t notice and unlocks it quickly and the laugh that comes out of Pedro calls everyone's attention. He turns into a cough soon enough that people get worried but she can see that Matteo doesn’t believe him.

“Are you okay?”He asks the guy and Pedro is seriously having  problems breathing so the wheezing sound that he makes when he tries to say he is okay doesn’t sound any convincing him. His eyes fix on Luna and there’s something weird about it but maybe it’s just because she is very not subtly holding her phone

Luna struggles to hide her phone, the last thing she needs right now is for him to want to look at it and find himself shirtless staring back at him.

The class goes fast, it goes the fastest any physics class Luna’s has ever had and the only thing she learnt of it is that she needs to get home as fast as possible and be alone.  But she still has classes after this one and more importantly she has Pedro at lunch trying to interrogate her.

“Why is he on your phone? Luna, please.” He asks for the third time and Luna sighs, he will tease her so much but who wouldn’t in his situation, this is honestly ridiculous.

“There’s this guy.” She mumbles. “This instagram guy.”

“An instagram guy you have a crush on?” He asks teasing before gasping. “Is he the instagram guy?”

“Of course he is.” She huffs and Pedro chokes on his sandwich laughing. Good. “And now he is teaching us physics.”

“This is great news.” Pedro exclaims still laughing and Luna looks at him like he is crazy. “Don’t you see it?”

“What I see here is that I am fucked.” She says annoyed and he nods.

“Not yet, but this is where I am getting, yes.” He tells her and she rolls her eyes. “This is your chance to get laid.”

“This is not my chance for anything, don’t be ridiculous.” She tells him and Pedro huffs.

“Why not?” He asks. “You are hot and you have the hots for him that’s perfect combo right there.”

“Oh, wow.” Luna starts trying to distract him. “You said I am hot this is the nicest thing you have ever said to me.”

“I can admit it sometimes.” He says simply. “But really, you have a once in a lifetime chance, you should use it.”

“What I should do is change my phone background.” She says with a sigh and he nods.

“Yeah, that too.”

⭐

After she gets home that night his phone buzzes with an instagram notification, someone is following her and the profile picture makes her trip over her feet and almost step on poor baby cassie. Matteo is smiling lazily at the camera from it. when she taps on the profile she sees that she can see all pictures.

She doesn’t mention this to Pedro this probably means nothing.

⭐

And it actually doesn’t, now she can see all of his pictures , all of his stories and she gets to have much more pics of him saved on her phone but also he barely ever pays attention to her except to ask her things when she is spacing out. Usually because she is staring at his arms.

It’s all normal and it’s obvious that for him she is not someone worthy of notice. Which is okay, she never expected anything else and she of course won’t do anything to change that no matter how much Pedro insists she should. He is just a crush, an impossible crush she kinda blogs about but that’s all of it.

She expects nothing of him, she is perfectly content with him just appearing on her dreams.

And apparently her gmail inbox too cause a few weeks into the semester she has a mail from him, a mail sent only to her. Which is weird on itself. The mail is short. Very short, only informing her that if she would like it she will be the person in charge to deal with class in physics subject but also kinda implying that she can’t really say no here. She sends a screenshot to Pedro of course and his answer is about what she expected.

Peter rabbit:

do it!!!1

do it do it do it do it

Me:

Are u crazy?? The last thing I need is to be alone with him

Peter rabbit:

That’s exactly what you need tho lol

come on we both know what goes through that mind of yours now you can actually have a chance to use that desk in the ways you would like

Me:

JESUS FUCK PEDRO YOU ARE NOT USEFUL

Peter rabbit:

I am very useful excuse you, just bc you don’t wanna follow my advice doesn’t mean its good advice

just say yes nothing has to happen (even if it totes will)

Luna bites her lower, lip, he is right nothing has to happen and this is good chance to stare more at him, to spend more time with him and even if she will end up all tense and stressed because she wants something she can’t have at least she will be close to him. Maybe this will be worth it.

She sends him an answer saying that she will do it and then opens her instagram profile, because she has issues, many, many issues. This will be awful but she will manage somehow.

⭐

It all goes better than expected he is nice and funny and interesting and she can hear him talk for hours but she manages to keep it in her pants and act like a decent human being around him no matter what. She is very proud of herself.

At least until one tuesday comes after a long weekend and she has to stay after class to discuss if they can change the date of the next quiz they have and all she has been able to see when her eyes close is that instastory from friday night where he is dancing with a girl pressed against him, his lips on her neck, his hand on her hips and the other under resting on her thigh under her dress. And that image usually leads her to imagine what would have happened if that girls was her, what would have happened if his hand went higher.

She is honestly the biggest mess and is in no state to be in a classroom alone with him but no one else will do it so it has to be her.

“Hi.” She says walking to his desk after everyone else has left and she ends up resting her hips against one of the table on the front because she can’t keep her legs from trembling just a little. He grins at her, authentic a little tired and a little lazy and she wants to pull him from his tie and kiss him. She needs to keep a safe distance because she has no idea what she will do if she doesn’t.

“Hi, what’s the problem now?” He says with a fake tired sigh and she shakes her head at him.

“Why do you always assume there is a problem?” She asks and his deep, soft chuckle, makes her take a deep breath.

“Because that’s all you come talk to me about.” He says raising an eyebrow as he rolls his sleeves up exposing the tattoos on one of his arm and Luna shifts uncomfortably at the sudden heat that takes over her body.

“Well, you are right.” She tries to say casual. “And I am sorry to ruin the amazing weekend you just had with these problems but the class was wondering if we could change friday’s quiz for next week.”

“Yeah, no problem, I do have one question though.” Matteo says and Luna nods looking at him but not really at his eyes, she wouldn’t handle that right now. “How do you know I had an amazing weekend.”

The teasing sparkle in his eyes fills her with anger and desire all in one blow and she needs to take a deep breath to calm down and hope her face doesn’t wanna match her red skirt right now.

“I just assumed.” She stutters and Matteo nods unbelieving. “I mean you look relaxed so I am guessing you had fun this weekend, let out some tensions.”

“Oh I did, not the ones I would have wanted but I did.” He says and Luna chokes on air when he says that, he probably doesn’t mean the same kind of tensions she is thinking of right now also maybe he does.

“That’s sad.” She manages to say. “At least you had fun.”

“I did.” Matteo says simply and Luna nods. “What did you do this weekend?”

“Not much.” She clears her throat.

“Didn’t you have fun?” He asks and she swallows hard, why does she feel like there is some other intention to these questions? “I thought maybe Pedro and you did something interesting these long weekend.”

“No, he went out with these girls he is seeing.” She clarifies for some reason. “And I stayed at home doing some reports I had to fix.”

He just nods and Luna has no idea if she can leave or no.

“I think I saw some of your stories on instagram.” He comments and Luna dies a little inside. “You are very responsible.”

“Yeah,that’s me.” She says nervously. “A responsible girl who has other class right now so she needs to go.”

She runs to the bathroom and skips her last class. She can’t believe what just happened and has no idea what it means, but she is dying.

⭐

After that she is kinda done with him, she can’t keep being like this around him, she can’t keep feeling like this. She needs to forget about him and what better way than to find some hot stranger in some bar get laid, leave their place in the morning and forget all about them too.

She needs a quick thing that will leave her satisfied for a while and won’t bring her any problems, so she puts on this tight black dress she has, the one pair of heels she owns, that one leather jacket and paints her lips red before she tells Pedro to meet her at the club and getting a taxi.

Pedro being Pedro gets excited about anything that involves alcohol and the chance to hook up with some hot girl so he throws himself into it right away. He lives closer than her so he gets there faster and when she arrives he already has two shots waiting for her.

Or maybe one was for him but she drinks both of those and that’s what matters.

She lets him post some pics of her on her instagram, she looks hot, she feels hot and she posts it just thinking once about what would Matteo thinks when he sees it before dragging Pedro to the dance floor and deciding to forget all about Balsano.

She manages mostly at least until she is back on the bar ordering more drinks and her phone vibrates so she takes it out and sees that she has a notification on instagram from mbalsaon.

She opens it fast and sees that he liked her pic and he actually send her a message. She takes deep breath, it’s probably going to be something nice or something teasing about her having fun now, it will be nothing important.

Her fingers still shake when she opens it.

mbalsaon:

do you have any idea just how hot you look?

She almost drops her phone when she reads it.

me:

sorry???

mbalsaon:

you look so good with that dress and the way you are dancing

me:

the way i’m dancing? what??

mbalsaon:

turn to your right, cucciola

She does as he says, ignoring the weird nickname and finds him sitting not far away from him on the bar, he is wearing a black shirt and dark jeans sipping on a glass of something she can’t recognize from him but he lifts it softly on her direction.

mbalsaon:

if you don’t want this i apologize the last thing i want is you make you feel uncomfortable

but i kinda feel like you do

so if I am right i am going out right now, i need some air, maybe you do too

She sees him down the contents of his glass and walk towards the doors much closer to him that to her, when he disappears from her sighs she takes a deep breath, texts Pedro and follows Matteo.

She definitely could use some fresh air right now too.

#lutteoficweek #soy luna #mine #mylfw

[ghosteddie]

The stuff you've posted about abuse has really helped me, do you mind talking about what happened?

Yeah so hello readmore. As you seem to already know, my inbox is open if you need anything else. I use the IM thing too.

I’m glad that my stuff is helping you, I won’t share everything but I’ll explain some of the different stuff I’ve endured. I know I felt like I was somehow alone and living the same life as everyone else at the time, like it was normal and nobody would understand. So I understand why you’d ask this.

We’ll start with childhood. The basic building blocks of how I lived as a kid are:

My mom would spoil my brother while degrading me for existing. He was perfect but I could never do anything right. I always feel like maybe I made this up, like it wasn’t that bad, but I vividly remember instances like standing in the middle of the store and asking for a t-shirt, getting a no, then watching her say yes to my brother for the same t-shirt. She ponied up a shit ton of dough to get him into football and soccer, but she wouldn’t let me go to my choir concerts even though it was REQUIRED for a grade in my class and took me out of soccer the second I got scouted for an advanced league. I wasn’t allowed to be good at anything and I wasn’t allowed to have nice things.

If I tried to figure myself out and express my identity, I was punished. A friend painted my nails at lunch at school one day in middle school, it was a pale color, you could barely see it. Another parent had bought it for their child, so I can’t imagine it was like Harlet Brand. There was nothing wrong with it, but when I came home she emptied out a bottle of nail polish remover and made me sit still as a statue and hit me if I moved. I had to sit there for almost a full 24 hours without peeing or eating or drinking water, I wasn’t allowed to move until the nail polish ate itself in the remover. I wasn’t even allowed to rub my fingers over the polish. I was always put in adult size XXXXL, t-shirts were three quarter length sleeved and went to my knees. If I didn’t disappear in it and it didn’t look like I was just a pile of clothes, it was too small. My friends would buy me things for my birthday out of pity but my mom always took everything away immediately, their mothers felt so bad and I never knew what to do about it. She didn’t even throw this stuff that I wasn’t allowed to have away or donate it; she reveled in keeping it in her room like a trophy. She liked me being able to see that the stuff that I wanted was still there but I couldn’t have it.

She shaved my head at every opportunity.

She beat me for just about every reason I can imagine that she could think of. My brother pissed her off? Beat me. She had a bad day at work? Beat me. I didn’t do enough for her? Beat me. I literally broke bones. I have scars to this day.

She used me as a slave. Even back as far as I can remember in like elementary school, I was the one in charge of cooking for everyone, I was in charge of cleaning up after everyone, and I did all of the laundry. There was not a chore that was not my responsibility.

She liked to tell me that I was going to grow up to be as big as her. That I would be as ugly as her. That I would be her. She’d tell me my life was worthless, that she brought me into this world and she could take me out of it. She’d tell me that I couldn’t do anything. I’ve always loved to sing, but if she ever heard a peep she would always berate me for it. She’d tell me I was terrible and a bother for having an interest. That I shouldn’t even be seen, let alone heard. My brother would join in on this. They’d laugh.

Nothing was ever allowed to be wrong with me either, which really fucks me up. I fell down the stairs and twisted my knee so hard it was purple and she told me to walk it off, then laughed and called me a sissy lala when I cried because it hurt. I broke my funny bone on her work property and the only reason we even know that is because even though she was laughing at my bleeding nose, chipped tooth, and steadily growing arm that was changing green and blue and purple and calling me a pansy for saying it hurt, her boss INSISTED she take me to the hospital.

She ripped my cast off by force less than a week later. Said I’d only use it for pity and I didn’t need it anyway.

The next step from there was total neglect. There’s a big story for me going to the children’s shelter, but she basically was just like whatever I don’t want him and then proceeded to not give a shit about trying to see me. She basically just washed her hands of me.

In my later teen years, after I’d been in the foster care system and started taking care of myself, she ended up back in my life. Things are going fuzzy, I don’t remember how. But, at this time:

She no longer beat me. In fact, she acted like it never happened and just didn’t acknowledge it at all. I think that is the most terrifying thing she’s ever done.

She would tell me a sob story about how her landlord was coming for x, y, or z and then ask me if I could come over to help her clean up. She’d tell me that her landlord would kick her out if they saw how much of a mess her house was and she’d say she had no idea what else to do. I would spend a whole week straight cleaning her house. She wouldn’t help at all.

But she would laugh at me in front of my friends. She’d offer to take us out to dinner and then tell stories about what a pathetic little sniveling child I was.

When a boyfriend cheated on me and tried to throw me down her stairs and started ripping the gutters off her home, she looked at me bleeding and sobbing on the floor and said I’d let go of the best thing that had ever happened to me. That nobody else would love me and whatever he had done couldn’t possibly be bad enough to warrant robbing HER of time with him.

Then there’s the monster ex:

I always want to say that things started out slow and escalated, but that’s a lie. The first thing he did that was abusive was manipulating me into thinking his ex was the devil. He had me thinking this girl was making him want to kill himself, and he constantly sent me after he like an attack dog. I know that she wasn’t doing anything wrong because I do eventually simmer down and try to talk things out and all it took was a few simple screencaps to show the monster ex was a damned liar. He admitted it too when called out and we eventually became friends? Like it was the weirdest mindfuck he’s ever pulled. He tried to make his ex kill herself, then sent me to make her want to kill herself, and then we were friends. I even woke up from a drunk night wearing HER pants once. I drew abs on the woman. I think this is why he has yet to actually send anyone my way to bitch me out. He always has people yell at people, but not me. Not once. Because he learned that sending people to yell at someone for something that never happened ALWAYS backfires.

The first err against me was after we’d moved in together. We were really happy, and I know he likes to play like he was never happy now that all is said and done, but that’s just more abuse. It’s his way of erasing his blame and making it look like he is some Super Pathetic Victim. He cheated. And he lied. To someone his ex knew too, more than once. It was a whole thing. Like he was laughing to my face and we were cuddling and I tied him to the heater and fucked him silly, but he still needed to have some pity to feed off of, so he made up some stuff. Which he admitted. But then kept doing. She kept falling for it. He would say stuff like he was going to steal my wallet in the middle of the night and run off to be Hummelberry in NY. I don’t even think he was really cheating because he liked the girl or because he wanted to cheat, he just wanted her to pity him to The Highest Extent.

Even just this far, there is obviously only one reason a person would stay with a person like that. And that reason is abuse. It’s fucking powerful.

He would ride my coattails whenever I’d do something online, and if people paid attention to me he had to push in too. He loved it when people loved us. Then he would start contolling the things I did. I cannot tell you how many times I admined a group and had to watch as he abused people in the group. He was so terrible. But I couldn’t say anything, I couldn’t stop him.

And he’d control who I could talk to, who I could write with in groups. He liked to ship wreck my ships. He’d already have like 5 ships with me and then he’d decide to make a 6th character and his FIRST move was always finding one of my character’s to ruin. He literally brought his abuse into character. He abused one of my rp characters in the same way he abuses me and the ENTIRE rp was SO uncomfortable.

It wasn’t until I started telling him to stop treating me like shit that things got really heated up. I never understood it and it drove me insane at the time, but he would abuse me and I would say he was abusing me and he would nod his head and tell me he understood. We’d have a heart to heart convo about how he was hurting me and how he could avoid doing that in the future. I’d ask him to remember to consider me as a human being all the time, he always forgot I wasn’t just a stepping stool. But we’d get to a good place and I’d think he understood. He would have expressed his heartfelt desire to do better and be a better person— but then he would go online and throw pity parties about how terrible I was.

He had a huge love of gaslighting or making shit up. He would post about me on his blog to get attention all the time, and talk to his friends about me. Just lie, right through his teeth. Nothing was too outrageous for him to go for. He had to villify me, and as far as I’m concerned that’s abuse too. It’s practically cyberbullying when it’s done in a tightknit community. He’s sent me anon hate, he’s sent my friends anon hate, and he’s sent anon hate to other blogs about me. He’s also signed hate to other blogs about me, even after I finally got him out of my life. He can’t breathe without using lies about me to host a pity party. That feels like abuse to me. His lies weren’t ever even all that good. He’d be as bad as to say “I want you all to give me money so I can spend it on me” and then say “I wanted to give HIM that money, not me! I’m a saint!” Like…. the original post is right there with the words “for myself” written right on it but okay?

My mind is really going fuzzy now, so I’ll leave a really short list that will cover like 1/1000th of his daily abuse. Some of the every day things included:

Making me out to be the bad guy if I ever asked for anything

Guilting me for telling him when he did things that hurt me

Telling me things like that I wasn’t worth being treated with common decency, right to my face, just because he was mad. 

He pushed and pulled with his attention and affection a lot. He was always very manipulative in the way that he would pay attention or talk to me and be super sweet and then flip it when he got what he wanted. 

He was also very manipulative in the way he would be sweet to me and then shit talk me behind my back. Kind of like how he we romantic with me while cheating behind my back. I’m poly. Bro. Literally all you had to do was respect me as the person you’re already dating and a s k.

Signing into my messengers, reading my private stuff, especially after we fought, so that he could see what I was saying to my friends. If I ever dared to ask for help from someone, or said a word about him that wasn’t sparkling, he would immediately start another fight. 

Calling me fat - I will never forget this. I literally said, “If I were this big, I would jump off the roof and kill myself, I 100% cannot handle that I am freaking out” and he replied, “Well, you’re that big.” I’ve had serious eating disorders since childhood, fucking asshole. I don’t care what excuse a person can come up with, there is none for that. Even if your worst enemy says, “I’ll kill myself if ___” you do NOT reply with, “well, ____” unless you’re ABSOLUTE garbage. He tries to claim that he was only with me because he thought I’d kill myself if he left, that making shit up is another abuse thing, but if he gave a shit about my mental health or if I killed myself…. why the fuck did he tell me I was fat right after I specifically said I would kill myself if I was fat??????? And he knows I’m not lying. It wasn’t a funny haha I’d kill myself lol xD xD like his are. He knows I only say that shit when it is  r e a l.

Admittedly taking his anger out on me, yelling at me just because someone else made him mad

He would constantly tell me that my style was wrong, or that the clothes I was wearing made me look too girly. He was always telling me that I needed to be different, downing on me until I felt bad and had to second guess everything. I never really cared how people saw me until he started making me feel like every time someone looks at me, all they see is a girl. He pushed that transphobic, sexist, YOU HAVE TO LOOK LIKE A MAN TO BE A MAN bullshit on me all of the time.

Telling me all of my interests were stupid

Acting out whenever he had to do something. Like we were moving out of Arizona and packing things up into the Uhaul, we were almost done, we just had the Christmas stuff. We were moving on and off too, really lazy, but we did also do everything at once. So he starts whipping me with words as fast as he can, trying to get me to just shut down because he’s attacking me. It doesn’t work, I ask him to get the xmas stuff in location a while I go to location b and get shit done and I shit you not, Miller-opher Kingle, Mr. I Listen To My Thousand Song Christmas Playlist All Year Round himself screams out, “I DON’T EVEN LIKE CHRISTMAS!!!!” in his attempt to get me to give into him.

Complaining whenever I wanted to talk about my interests or indulge in my interests

While also shoving every fart he made under my nose and demanding validation

Forcing me to watch stuff he was interested in and even picking fights if I said no but always acting like I wanted him to rip off an arm if I wanted to pick something. 

Invading my private space. He was fucking obsessed with climbing into my bed and it was the creepiest and most terrifying thing in the world. Nobody wants to share a bed with their abuser, and nobody should have to deal with their abuser clinging to their arm like a tumor. Nobody should be forced to allow themselves to be used to up their abuser’s state of being. 

LOUD ASS FUCK SKYPE CALLS WHILE I AM ASLEEP but oh, better yell at me because I wanted to listen to music while he was awake and he’s just too lazy to put the headphones from his neck to his ears so he can block me out

Refusing to clean, making me do it, yelling at me whenever I asked him to help out even a little

Refusing to cook, he would rather starve if I didn’t always cook for him

Refusing to work, especially when we were freelance writing. I’d give him like 500 words total and then take one 50,000 words myself and STILL have to do half of his when I finished mine

Using all of my shit, even when I told him not to, even when he said he wouldn’t. It feels like abuse because it’s like pissing all over my stuff, taking my stuff. A lot of my costume makeup he completely used.

The biggest thing though was that if I couldn’t give him something useful, I was useless. If I wasn’t blowing compliments up his ass 24/7, I was useless. If I wasn’t cooking and cleaning up after him, I was useless. If I wasn’t praising him and showering him in attention, I was useless. If I wasn’t being whored out to the internet to draw in more people to adore him, I was useless. If I was telling him he had to change, that he couldn’t keep abusing me, I was useless. What I wanted never mattered. If we got two bags of chips, he got one and three fourths and I got one fourth. If we got two things and promised to share 50/50, he’d still manipulate me into getting at LEAST half of my half. I could never just have an equal amount of anything. We’d go out and take 100 pics of him and 0 of me. Even when we went to Lady Gaga and I was DRESSED like Lady Gaga herself and I was stopped by fellow fans for pics with strangers, the one event that was quite literally The Me Event, and we got ZERO photos of me. that even after I spent six hours pouring myself into a skimpy ass costume that I made myself, and even after we drove hours and hours to get to the concert, even with it being my birthday present, zero photos of me. I’m the only person at that event that did not go home with a dozen and a half photos of me, I shit you not. What does it say that we BOTH valued me so little? If you feel what I just described in any way, you’re probably being abused.

#personal post #abuse tw #I endured #Anonymous