#cleaning out some from last week

[lineffability]

hi! meanwhile for wip wednesday? 🥺🥺

thank you for everything! and remember to pace yourself, burnout is a pain in the ass and not as fun as it's made out to be

Aziraphale nodded in a few short, small movements, as if admitting a failure. In a way, he supposed he was. He might have let their only chance to get the Book of Life into their hands slip through his fingers, but then again… what good was the Book of Life if Crowley wasn’t part of this life?

#ask games #wip wednesday #cleaning out some from last week #thank you nonnie that's very kind of you to say <3 #ater the stressful month ive had writing fic IS a form of selfcare haha but you are right! #i am pacing myself

[bewilderedbuck]

on losing a mother

#s.txt #s.poem #mom tag #poetry #okay to reblog #it's officially been over a year since the last time i saw my mom. #her skin was translucent paper thin and she looked so fragile in tht hospital bed but she was supposed to be getting better #and she did. for about a month. #she went back into the hospital 3 days after my birthday. #she stayed there for like 2 weeks and then died about a week after she checked herself out. #the last time she ever texted me was on my birthday. i waited two days to text back. and i never heard back from her. #the next time i saw her she was a pile of grey ashes in a plastic urn. she sits on my shelf now. i haven't gotten her a new urn yet. #i try not to feel guilty. there wasn't much i could do from a thousand miles away #but i still feel the guilt every day itching under my skin and screaming at me in my mind that i should have done better #that i should have been there for her #her phone number has since been given to someone else. i deactivated her facebook account. i cleaned out her apartment & threw away almost #all of her belongings. #i took photo albums. i took some jewelry - including the ring she wore as she was cremated. it survived the fire. the funeral home put it #in the urn with her ashes. i wear it sometimes just to feel like there's still a part of her with me. #but she's gone and i don't believe in an afterlife and neither did she #there's some comfort in knowing she is no longer in pain that she is no longer suffering #but i still sit here and i think of all the things i never got to tell her and the new things i want to tell her every single day #i never got to come out to her. not really. i never got to tell her that i understood what she went thru with my dad because i lived it too #anyways. sorry for going off in the tags. i'm okay i promise. just feeling a lot of feelings right now.

[daily-scott-smajor]

259 - average day

#daily scott smajor #step one. start spiralling. grab the loaf of bread from the pantry #it being stale is alright. cut the moldy parts off #it will work for now. #step two. isolate from the world. grab the cheese from the fridge- the type you use is optional. the cheese expired last week but thats fin #im too tired to go to the store. #step three become a shell of yourself. grab the pan from under the oven #or wherever you keep yours. you did not clean it well enough last #time you made food it seems #as you can see burnt parts line the edges. this will do. #step four. make sure you no longer feel connected to the situation at hand. grab the butter or mayonaise (i learned to use mayo #my preference) and put it on the outside of the bread. one side of each slice #as you have been reminded your whole life. #step five. wait. #step six. remind yourself you're acting rash. this fixes nothing- but is a good thing to remind yourself of. put the first piece of bread o #the pan mayo side down. place the cheese on top of that. add the other slice mayo side up. #step seven. you will wait some more. #step eight. drown out everything you know. flip the bread over. you will notice its slightly burnt but that is okay. you are too hungry to #care. #step nine. finish what you have started and go to bed unsatisfied. #<- hope this helps!

[sherlock-is-ace]

.

#the week before last my mom and i decided to spend more time in nature since we've been cooped up inside since like 2020 #we decided to enjoy our garden again #(mostly cause we can't afford to turn on the AC because of bills going up but it was still a nice change in routine) #we cleaned up the patio table and got our folding chairs from storage (things we hadn't properly used in years) #i got an old unused notebook out to write outside and just have a nice chill time #we were combating mosquitoes but it was fine and my dog was really happy to just chill with us on the grass #it was perfect and lovely #... #that lasted exactly 3 days #last tuesday night some fucking asshole jumped my neighbors wall (or our gate idk) and stole our two old ass folding chairs #and wednesday night he came back to get the table he forgot (a table so fucking heavy idk how he managed to get it up the wall/gate) #and as you can imagine... if we can't afford to turn on the ac because the electricity bill is already impossible to pay... #it was a real fucking effort to buy another table #but i fucking REFUSE to go back inside like a fucking puppy with my tail between my legs #we can barely make it to the end of the month #buying something silly like icecream or an extra sweet has us revaluating the entire month's expenses #and we can't even own fucking furniture that we've owned for like 15 years #i'm so fucking tired! #i want to either die or leave this place and honestly dying is more achievable #anyways i just spent almost half the money i had on my bank account #but i bought a small folding table which i will fold up and bring inside every fucking night because not even a gate can keep you safe #i will fucking sit outside and enjoy fucking nature so help me god! #(if the rats/lizards let me lol) #see why i'm so fucking tired all the time?! when you're not dealing with pests you're dealing with human pests #i do thank god and all angels above they didn't try to break in and kill us in the process but my fucking garden furniture!!! #that was too long cause i'm still pissed #and tomorrow is grocery shopping day so i'm depressed again #angel talks #personal

[polithicc]

…

#sorry y’all gotta vent #feeling very tired and drained from this week. my grandma has been in the hospital again #I just got home now from work at 7:30pm #however #bless my dad who stopped by while I was at work to pick up some packages he got delivered here #and cleaned for me and took out the trash #so those are things I don’t need to do tonight #im ordering dinner #bc i don’t have it in me to cook #thinking I’ll have some wine and watch tv and sleep early #im just really worried about my grandma #she fell twice last week #and now she’s having issues with her hemoglobin again #and the doctors can’t figure out why this time #pers

[wonderloste]

i think i'm going to queue up longer replies i have this week since i'm playing catch up w drafts from being sick, so in the interim ❤️ for smth rly short. if u don't specify a muse u get the bnnuy boy (u get darcy).

#ʚ o. out of character ɞ ⁄ otome games are my thirteenth reason. #still updating the thread tracker too i need to clean it up #i owe some ppl replies n stuff DW I KNOW i'm just #recovering from being dead last week SIGHS

[siena-sevenwits]

:-)

#I've spent the past week organizing in the play's wake - sorting and laundering huge numbers of costumes #some to return to those they belong to and some to come home to my costume storage room which had become chaotic over the last few #months #so a complete spring cleaning for the storage room became part of my task list too. Now the play's been over for a week #and the emails are starting to come in from admin about next year. As some of you know I did a lot of discernment this semester #about what next year should look like and I have decided a mix of continuity is best. I won't be working for my 'main' schoolboard anymore #but I will continue to teach and direct for the one program in the city (the one I did the play for) and possibly with a new home school #enrichment program that may go ahead this year if there are sufficient numbers. Otherwise I am going to spend a semester #tutoring and running workshops f I can get it off the ground. Then we'll see. #Anyway - admin wants me to get new syllabi in to them within a month's time so my thoughts are all in that direction! #I get to teach 19th/20th century Canadian history to the middle schoolers and Late Antique/Medieval Church History to the high schoolers! #Also direct another play and do a humanities course centred around an epic in the spring (the last couple of years we've done Iliad and #Odyssey - they want Aeneid this year but I am trying to talk them into another option. The Aeneid is valuable but I am not sure it's the #time or place with this group of students. The result of all this is that I am spending far too much time doing Internet research for ideas #and then taking breaks on tumblr - which isn't good for my eyes or mental health. What with the play and end of term #I fear I've been out of the reading habit. I'm still hyperfixating on the Book of Romans so there's that at least #but I lost the novel I was in the middle of and am not feeling so motivating with out books. It's a proper reading slump! I need a kickstar #of sorts. Feel free to yell at me that I should pick up a book!

[elvenmoans]

read a gay orc romance trilogy (the orc prince by Lionel Hart) and find it funny and sweet how the orc guy turns down sex the first time bc they don't know each other well enough yet (arranged marriage), then just before the series climax (hah) the orc guy nuts in the MC and then immediately starts crying just love when big scary guys subvert expectations and cry during sex bc they love their partner so much

#nsft text #I have mixed feelings on the series #loved the first two but then the author apparently took some bad critism to heart bc it went from a clean simple style #to taking a HARD turn to a more detailed style that the author was CLEARLY less experienced with. #took ti from 'this has no right to be so great' to something I found painful enough to set down for weeks on end #there was halfway into the last book where the author seemed to have figured it out but that was NOT an appropriate time to try out a #new prose style. THE LAST BOOK YOU CHANGE STYLE????????? WHAT THE FUCK #ignoring that my main issue was smut got repetitive and the orc got too detached to his homeland WAY too easily #tfw u get elf bussy so good u immediately start thinking about the elf country's needs more than ur own where ur family is #but the characters were very delightful and fun together #its one of those romances which you NEED to mesh with the main character's personalities or you WILL get bored #I liked them

[majimassqueaktoy]

Makoto makimura if you're out there, please... I need you...

#have literally destroyed my back and also my elbow somehow ???? #i dont know how literally havent done anything #i can think of but im in *so* much pain #i just think a massage from her would help #i just think itd be exactly what the chef ordered #chef? idk some analogy like that #id actually been super productive this week cleaning and making good food and sorting things out #even read a book and some fic for the first time in a while #lowkey i was like lol depressive epiosde that lasted ages who haha im back to normal #and then all yesterday i could barely move and was just like lol no dont think about stuff dont realize how hollow you feel aha #but <:) #then i distracted myself by makin 50 x files gifs so #Makoto pls girl

[theamazingannie]

Fun thing about cleaning my room is I’ll find something I was using like a week ago buried deep under my bed in a pile of old receipts and candy wrappers and then also find something I haven’t seen in MONTHS like right there sitting exposed on the floor

#don’t understand this #Im so close to getting this room the most organized that it’s been since I moved in a year ago #but i gotta clean the junk out from underneath my bed and somehow that’s worse than everything else I’ve done #all motivation i had last week as disappeared this week #but i got a new shelf set up to put stuff that was laying around the floor on #i got my books all neatly lined up on the bookshelf I’ve had for months but had only put random junk on instead #got my earrings all sorted and put away except the ones missing their twin #which are set aside until they are matched #finally hung up my whiteboard calendar and got the dates down #not that I have anything going on I really need a calendar for lmao #but It’s magnetic so i departed it with some magnets and now I actually have some decoration in here aside from my eras poster #all my clothes are organized and anything I don’t wear is put in bins for me to shove against the wall #until they can hopefully one day be put in storage #for me to have when I hopefully one day move out and actually have use for party clothes #after a whole year of being in this room it actually feels lived in rather than just a storage room with a futon #It’s still half a storage room but it’s also now half me #unfortunately my shelf is cheap and the hooks can’t bare the weight of my jackets even with gorilla tape #so this weekend I gotta try to figure out what to do about that #need something stronger to support the weight #or maybe just more gorilla tape lol #anyways not that anyone is reading this but it is 3am and I can’t sleep so I decided to clean #but i think I’m just gonna read #or maybe play the sims #or maybe continúe to sit ln the floor mindlessly scrolling through tumblr

[ghostzzy]

googles ‘how to stop feeling guilty all the time about everything’

#everywhere i turn i feel like i'm failing someone or myself #and every problem that arises out of oversight or neglect (which is a lot of them due to My Whole Deal) feels so huge and complicated. #like. my psychiatrist office sent me an email that if i dont make a followup appt by the end of the week they'll throw my file away. #the hospital from last summer is still sending me bills despite having paid them over 3k at the time #because my insurance is retroactively deciding not to cover things. #and now i've got debt collectors on my ass. #i need to order some things that will Help Me like a mini fridge and light sensitivity glasses #but i burned through so much money already this month and i don't know how to pick good objects so i Haven't. #i haven't called my grandma despite knowing she's going through hell with my grandpa still in rehab #because i haven't felt up to talking. #i don't see my brothers enough. i don't spend enough time with mishka. i don't spend enough time outside. #i don't read enough. i don't clean enough. i don't cook enough. #all because i am Tired. and Ill. and i have to Work for 8 hours a day. #uuruurgghhhhhh. i know if you do things they become done. but i am so overwhelmed and it'd be easier to just lay in the dark til i die. #chronic fatigue is a fucking nightmare from which i can never wake. it's not fucking fair. #izzy.txt

[camptw1nk]

feeling very 🧍‍♂️ may not be around for a bit

#its nothing tumblr related really its more just irl #a mix of being tired and having deadlines and not being able to make myself work #and the. kinda harsh switch in vibe in the house from last nights everyone hanging out having fun #to todays me alone cleaning up after everyone and knowing that the others are content doing their own thing and don't wanna hang w me #which like!! is fine im not expecting to be the center of their world its just. #idk we used to hang out every night watching a movie or some tv and laughing #and ever since i got back from my trip we just. we spend time together maybe once every 3 or 4 weeks and it takes me asking if they wanna #hang out like 3000 times before it ever happens and when it does there's just. theres a disconnect #and I think they just realized during the two months i was away that theyre. maybe a bit happier without me #or at least they find it easier to not hang out #like theyve got jobs now so obviously they dont have time the way they used to but its not just that theres been a Shift #i think they also might. kinda resent me for the trip and having that opportunity #which sucks bc i cant. do anything ab that i had no say in the trip i didnt want to go #and even saying that makes me very. like that feels like such a selfish arrogant thing to say to want to turn down a trip across the world #but everyone who was here during that trip knows that i spent the entire time dissociating and getting yelled at and suicidal so uh #i dont think its selfish to not have wanted to go when i Knew it'd end like that but i think they might think it was #ANYWAY this got depressing and sad i dont mean to bring shit here its just i literally only have 3 friends and 2 of them r these ones #and the other is so emotionally unavailable and doesnt really take mental health seriously so #ooc. #negative cw

[onepiexe]

ive not been on here at all oh my god

#logbook #my last text posts were from like. laurel day. and then nothing until back on like the 5th. #anyways hi im alive SKSHSJFKG spring is almost over. .i habe been told i'll still be busy in the zummer but it wont be bad #it'll be a busy im actually really excited for and have wanted to do this whole time lol #ive got new plant babies. i bought some new furniture. im slowly cleaning my space. #i made new friends at work with some of the cashiers finally. turns out we're all the same age. #we're planning to hang out this week after work too :) #ummmmmm. mostly been watching alfred bi attorney streams/vods and reading again. #relearing spanish. . .learning botany from books. . .going to start on my course this summer too. #i got a plushie i preordered back in like. 2021?? 2020?? and havent slept a night without em<3 #yeah idk ive been doing alright. hows everyone been. missed yall. #tell me whats up if you read this :)

[tj-crochets]

Hey y’all, weird question time! Does anyone know how to find out what music was used in Jazzercise in the 70s and 80s? Edit: “Does anyone have any recommendations for songs from the 70s or 80s that sounds like they could be used in Jazzercise?” is probably a better question lol I found out Glee covers of Tina Turner songs* are like the perfect thing to get me singing and dancing enough to actually get cleaning done**, and now I have “I Wanna Dance With Somebody” stuck in my head (I know that is not a Tina Turner song) and that made me think Jazzercise, 70s or 80s. This sentence got away from me lol *I have no explanation for this except that Tina Turner songs are good but the Glee versions are a little faster? **standing drops my blood pressure. Singing and dancing help keep it from dropping. I need music that I *can’t* not dance to, otherwise I get caught up cleaning, stop dancing, and get dizzy 

#the person behind the yarn #I was having a pretty bad POTS flareup last week #coupled with a moderately bad allergy flareup #and a moderate asthma flareup #and pretty much all of them (except kind of the asthma) have cleared up #but WOW any time I get better from a health flareup #the executive function goes right out the window #I went into the kitchen today because I wanted to listen to a song and make muddy buddies #got distracted. cleaned the kitchen #loaded the dishwasher. vacuumed. got distracted again #packed up some stuff to mail #went through my stash of boxes for shipping and got rid of some #reorganized some fabric #got distracted #vacuumed the living room. got distracted #ended up going through boxes of cds and dvds from the garage to sort out the keeps from the get rid ofs #I turned off the music and the tiredness caught up with me lol #I did not end up making muddy buddies #my mom calls these 'if you give a mouse a cookie' days #got a lot done! was essentially looping the two glee Tina Turner songs I've found so far #(plus 'America's Sweetheart' by Elle King because it is fun and 'Rattle My Bones' by...someone? because it has some nice long notes to sing #while also being very dance-y) #but I can sing again!! and those are all very fun songs to sing (I can't sing during bad asthma flareups or I have an asthma attack)

[lavender---sunshine]

Had a big day but I'm desperately needing more small days

#i got a lot of things done today! #got my car cleaned (and seats shampooed from my little adventure last Sunday) and got gas #a bit of shopping done at target #did grocery shopping and got the last few ingredients for my cheese board #did 6 loads of laundry! AND cleaned my bathroom #made the cheeseboard and bacon wraped dates #put away the laundry and picked out my clothes for tomorrow #tomorrow the ceo is in the office so i dont want to dress up lol i'll take a costume tho #i was so productive today but i wish i could have done this over the course of two days #and being able to rest more while getting a whole weeks worth of chores done #i feel a bit sad. its going to be like this for a while #and today is Halloween and i while i was able to fit in some seasonal activities i wasnt really feeling it this year #too much going on I think #i did do the haunted trail and a pumpkin patch which are my two big ones but didnt get any pictures #of me in a cute outfit like I wanted #and i haven't had time to watch any scary movies (or dont look under the bed) #or reread the series i like to read this time of year #i had to get rent and quarters for laundry and answer work emails in the store #and i cant help feeling that im at this final little edge to my young adulthood. not a child not a teen not a young adult. just an adult #with no time and responsibilities and trying to find fun in the gaps and romanticizing my iced coffee #also! my dad asked me for money to fix my brother's windshield and im still having feelings about that #but ah off to bed. nervous to meet my boss today. everyone talks about how scary he is #i have some time off in January. maybe I'll take a trip

[austerulous]

I have a few threads I’m keen to reply to this week, and I plan on tackling a boatload of asks + the smoochy inbox call. Good thing I’ll be here plenty tomorrow and Thursday!

#not so much friday as i have a speeding awareness course to attend 🙃 #and an emergency counselling session to work through some of the emotional fallout from my last job #i recently spring-cleaned my followers but i may have another purge #plus i want to fill in my carrd #plus plus i'd like to post a plotting call sometime soon #i feel like sinking my teeth deep into some character dynamics #but there's plenty to get on with so we'll see how things pan out #hope everyone's week is off to a great start! ♡ #◈ — ooc; puffin speaks