OHOHOH AND ANOTHER FALL AKI THOUGHT I'VE BEEN STUCK ON...
working w/ aki at a pumpkin patch. like I work at one as my seasonal job and it's LITERALLY THE BEST and I can't stop thinking abt if aki would work there w/ me (he would. the second I'd tell him abt me working there he'd ask for my boss' number)
like I've been there so long so at first he'd just follow and shadow everything until he gets the hint of what to do.
then he'd always be helping me w/ tasks like restocking pumpkins and he let's me pick out all the pretty ones then I'd hand em off to him and he'd fill the wagon, him helping me go around to restock the games but then we'd stop along the way and play a couple of the games together if there aren't any customers... and oh man the best part would be seeing aki interact with all the animals.
whenever I'd clean the pens he'd just be right at my side and help with the gate, feeding and watering them too and then he'd just be watching in awe as my animal whisperer ass just stops every 6 seconds to give the animals scratches. I'd show him all of my goats (esp. bcs they're my favorite animal) and he'd just absorb every mindless goat facts I share w/ him, I'd show him how to catch all the animals and where they like to be scratched the best... OHHH AND AKI HOLDING A BABY GOAT FOR THE FIRST TIME. poor pookie would be so nervous but then by the 3rd or 4th goat he'd have gotten all comfy with it and then next thing you know everytime I then around aki would just be there cuddling with a goat.
aki going to work with me thoughts just keep me going ouuuuu
aaahhhh that sounds so cute and lovely... 🥺
I was thinking recently about going to a pumpkin patch with aki... wearing warm clothes and taking pictures together under the autumn trees... or carving pumpkins together... just enjoying the fall weather... this is my favorite time of the year and I'd love to enjoy it with him.
aki with small animals is just so cute in general honestly like he's such a gentle and calm presence, I feel like he's scared of animals sometimes but they always get drawn to him.... hahaha
I relate to you so much... I always imagine if I'm doing something that aki is doing it with me, it makes me feel more excited and gives me more confidence... I'm sure aki would love to be beside you... 💞
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I have so many questions regarding your dieties post. How does a god say no to you? What does that look like, how does it happen? Is it a dream, a vision, a meditation? I'm obviously having a hard time conceptualizing humans being in contact with gods. How did you know you were bound to the goat footed God? (And also do you mean the devil?). And how did Hestia and Apollo come to you? How did you know it was them? Is it like talking to ghosts?
Thank you for your time. I'm just very confused lol
Hi :) Lots of valid questions here. I will say that a lot of my communication and contact came after prolonged periods of heavy investment/practice into divination and psychism. These are learned skills that anyone can pick up and practice.
This post tries to explain how I experience psychism: How I Sense And Perceive Spirits: The Browser Analogy
To me personally and specifically, here is what happened:
When working with the Hekate figurine, it was about the vibes. She never "spoke" to me on any level. I just got the vibe that she wasn't super comfortable with me. Like you know when you walk into a room and you see someone and you can just tell they don't want you to be there?
I mean yeah, we pick that up through body language and stuff. But for me, that information is imparted to me through emotional feeling. Physical feelings within my body connected to emotions.
When I walk into a room and somebody doesn't want me there, my reaction isn't, "oh, he shifted his left foot 1cm to the left and glanced down." In fact, I might not really register these behaviors in any analyzed way. Instead, I just get a weird cold sense in my tummy and I feel better when I move away.
That is what I mean by the vibes. I just felt it, in a physical emotional way. She didn't particularly care to be around me.
Odin was a very different story. So, the Goat-Footed God is a figure shrouded in mystery. In Soft Polytheism style, I've often wondered if he's actually a named god of lore. Like maybe he's actually Cernunnos, or Pan, or -- Odin!
My god does have many similarities to Odin, and one day I got deep into this rabbit hole like hey, maybe he REALLY IS Odin, I should explore this more!!
That night, I dreamed. I try to remember my dreams as a normal course of action. I dreamed that Odin and some other Nordic gods (I didn't talk to any of them) came up to me while I was doing something unrelated on a space ship.
Odin smiled at me and shook his head in a sort of friendly way, but also in a closed-off way. The sort of smile you give to lone person standing with a sign at an airport who gets really excited when you walk through the door: "Sorry, it's not me you're waiting for - I hope I didn't confuse you."
Early this year (several months ago, for you people in the future) our house was under renovation that lasted almost three months. Well, this causes conflict in the home. There were constant arguments between my partner and his father (the three of us live together).
I was pretty much up-in-arms about the situation as my partner was under immense stress. At that time, I saw someone reblog a post about Hestia. It had that feeling for me. Hestia, hearth, bread-baking - it stuck in my mind like a little thorn.
I see a hundred posts about gods a day I'm sure, and none of them ever make me really curious about the god. People reblog all day long about Artemis and Apollo and while I enjoy the content and learning, I never feel that pinprick: ah, Artemis, moon and archery, I can't get her out of my mind-
But I felt that way about Hestia. Now I'm not a proper pagan - I don't research gods or do reconstructed/historical practices or anything like that. So why Hestia would come to me was beyond me.
Then I felt the nudge, you know. I might be wrong about the exact specifics - this was a brief encounter almost a year ago - but the nudge is like this:
Have you ever had a thought you don't want to think about, and your mind kind of flexes like a fist squeezing closed, and the thought is blotted out? And if you're quick enough and good enough at battling your own thoughts, that flex can come before the thought ever fully flourishes, like just the hint comes - and the emotions start seeping through for a fraction of a second - and your mind yanks its own reins. And the thought is closed off (until it comes again, as it always will).
So I feel a nudge, that nudge of a thought coming through. And I watch my own mind a lot, I like to know what it's up to. I feel the nudge and my mind starts to say no, and the bit of emotion seeps through, and I think - ah. This is a goddess trying to contact me.
How did I know it was a goddess? When you see someone in a dream that looks nothing like your friend, doing something your friend would never do, how do you know it's your friend? "I just knew it was John, it was strange."
I knew it was a goddess in the same way. I don't know how I knew. I just did.
Then, I remembered Hestia sticking in my mind like dry dough to a pan. I was very pleased with myself that I put it together immediately. I lit a candle for her and she taught me some things, and for a while I made bread in her honor.
I know now I'm bound to the Goat-Footed God after about a decade of experience, input from very helpful friends, and readings from a couple extremely talented practitioners (@thespellweavingspirit is one of them, and sometimes does sell readings). The entire tale is too long and personal to recount (yes, sometimes I do privacy!)
I met Apollo while I was under the influence of entheogens and lying in the dirt. The Eucalyptus trees were lovely and fluttering. The sun was bright, and as I became one with the world, the great star shone through my whole body, and I saw its indweller. I see why people like him. It was a magnificent experience.
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