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sylensombrr · 3 years

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Afterdeath Family Headcanons

No one asked for this, but I wanna talk about it and I don't wanna forget lol. Get ready, this is gonna be a long one. In my head canon, the Afterdeath family consists of Geno and Reaper,(obviously), who are the parents, and their kids Raven, Sorell, Silver, Goth, and Shino(as well as other fan kids like Candy, Momo, Demise etc. but they won't be mentioned. Might make a separate post about them if yall want/if I feel like it). They live in a huge gothic mansion, I don't know where it's located but if it's in an AU it would be next to a graveyard.(They give off huge Addams family vibes, so I had to take influence from that) They also share the house with two pets, a cat named Krueger and a raven named Archimedes, as well as three other people, Lotus, Rurik, and Palette, but I'll talk about those three later.

Geno(He/him) •Geno is in a group called "Triple Threat and Regret" consisting of him, Lust and Dance •They try to go out together every Tuesday, Geno's favorite location being Ccino's café •He's a bit of a hoarder but not much that it's a problem •Super fucking emo •Has a bit of a habit of adopting children he finds, ex. Lotus •Krueger is his cat. He found her in the graveyard. She was too old to live out in the wild, so he kept her •Horror movie fanatic, one of his favorites being A Nightmare on Elm Street •Coffee addict/Likes black coffee Reaper(He/they/it) •Best friends with Bill Sans •He's in a nameless friend group consisting of him, Bill and SD!Dream(Idea by @/_.dxnce.sxns.stan• on Instagram) •Huge heavy metal fan •Archimedes is his raven, which he treats like a familiar •Likes giving advice to his kids •Most of his kids vent to him rather than Geno •Surprisingly good cook •Wants to be or was in a band with Geno, Bill and 404 depending on the timeline/AU •He can play the guitar and scream Raven(He/him) •Loves to go to Comic-Con every time it comes around •Introduced Blueprint to rock •He and Blueprint and sometimes his cousin Gradient go to concerts together •He enjoys getting high with Blueprint and just vibing •Blueprint is a year older than him

Silver(He/it/xe) •May or may not be adopted(idk I read it somewhere, but now I can't find it) •Loves to play with Shino •His favorite siblings are Shino and Sorell •Trans male •He is a bit annoyed by Rogue but doesn't mind when ze stays there as long as ze doesn't talk to him •Has a tiktok and likes to make cosplay videos, mainly anime •Would cut you if you told anyone

Sorell(He/they) (If anyone has or knows where I can his canon info, please tell me I can't find it anywhere) •Afab nonbinary •Big anime and manga fan •Raven and them like to trade manga •He likes to hang out with Tatyana sometimes(They garden and take care of her animals together) •Asexual •Grayromatic Goth(He/they/she) •He knows about Palette and Cray's rivalry, but chooses to ignore it •He was originally pretty cautious around Lotus and Rurik but warmed up to them •Prefers to hang out with Lotus over Rurik •Cray is like a brother to him •Thinks Rogue is pretty weird but still likes zir •He tried to keep Rogue and Rurik from meeting out of fear of them fighting •Wants to wear heels so he can taller, but Geno doesn't let him(he's too young) Shino(She/her) •Loves to play with Sorell, Silver, and Rurik •She keeps trying to get Rogue to play with her and is mad that ze never does (I don't have much to say about her lol)

Miscellaneous Geno and Reaper(mainly Geno) doesn't let any of their kids ages 13 and under be in the house by themselves, so they have either Rogue, Bill, Dance, or Lust watch over them. As of recent, Geno and Reaper also like to have family get togethers with Ink ,Error and their kids(Paperjam and Gradient) as well as Fresh. It usually ends up with Error and Geno fighting/debating over something stupid with Fresh, Ink, and Reaper watching them while the kids play Mario Kart or Smash in another room.

Next onto Palette, Rurik and Lotus which is where I kinda diverted from canon mainly with Rurik and Lotus to the point it could be considered an alternate version of them. Palette(He/they) Because of being busy with battling against Nightmare and his gang, Ink and Dream couldn't and weren't prepared to take care of a child. So reluctantly Dream asked Geno and Reaper to take care of Palette until they could, who was a newborn at the time, which they gladly did agreed to. After that, Palette only saw his Dream twice again and never saw his Ink. They downright abandoned him. •Palette idolizes both Ink and Dream, seeing them more as these fictional action heroes rather than actual people •He refuses to accept that they abandoned him •He wants to go help them fight and reform Uncle Nightmare when he grows up •He didn't even know Ink's name until he met Blueprint's Ink •He has low self-esteem due to him believing he'll never live up to the fictional and unrealistic idea of his parents that he has •He can't use his magic properly due to never being taught by Ink or Dream, can only summon his roller but can't use it •Rurik will give him lessons on his magic later on •He loves and wants to be friends with everyone •Except for Cray •He thinks Cray is annoying but enjoys their rivalry •He's secretly jealous of Blueprint for having contact with his Ink Rurik(He/him)& Lotus(He/they) Rurik and Lotus somehow ended in the Underverse, and now they can't get back to the Fellverse. I have an idea why, but I'm not done with that yet. They didn't have any place to live, so Goth and Palette brought them to Geno and Reaper. Since they were most likely never gonna get back to the Fellverse, Geno offered to adopt them and let them live in their house. Lotus accepted while Rurik declined now but still decided to stay there. •Lotus did not want to go back to the Fellverse while Rurik did •They are the same ages as Palette and Goth(this may change) •They have never dated in this AU, but might in the future •Rurik idolizes his parents similar to Palette and doesn't realize that they are abusive •Lotus has never met Rurik's parents, so he doesn't know what he's going through •Lotus and Rurik have the same powers as Goth and Palette(this may also change) •Rurik refuses to use his roller since doesn't want to be seen as weak with his "girly" weapon •He uses knifes and daggers instead •Lotus hates his parents •Rurik really likes Rogue and later begins to idolize zir •Rogue sees zirself in Rurik and later acts like a parental figure towards him •Rurik likes to play with Shino •Rurik originally started to hang out with Cray just to piss Palette off, but then he actually began to enjoy his company

Okay, that's all my headcanons I have for now. Yall can steal these if you want, but a credit would be nice. Might illustrate or talk about these more in another post if I feel like it.

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just-some-random-blogger · 5 years

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Wheel Of Fortune

EXO Park Chanyeol x Reader + others Characters: EXO Summary: Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. Chanyeol was head over heels for you but he was 100% in denial that you liked Kyungsoo. Word Count: 1k+ Warnings: CRACK FOOL. RUN IF YOURE NOT HERE FOR THAT, jealousy, bottled emotions, fluff ending, etc.

A/N: this was TOO FLUFFY tbh. i wanted to hurt myself but it turned into fluff but oh well

let’s start at the beginning

your parents were introduced by mutual friends and started talking on the phone

okay kidding that’s too far

right

so you worked at SM

and is the maknae of a seven member coed group that debut a year after BigBang and a year before SHINee

(so 2007)

which considering the fact you were younger than Sehun by a couple of months meant you debuted at 10

just roll with it cos ITZ MY VERY SPECIFIC PLOT DMMIT

wheLP

the members were all exactly one year apart and the members from eldest to youngest,, the sequence was a guy (@ 30 yrs old), a girl (29), a guy (28), a girl (27), a guy (26), a guy (25), then you (24).

I KNOW I DONT NEED THIS BUT THIS IS HOW I IMAGINED THIS PLOT IT DMMIT

since you were basically a sunbae at SM even tho u were a smol child you wanted to show your support to your hoobaes

So a day before their debut as a whole group, you, along with the eldest member of your group, who was the leader, visited EXO in the dance studio and gave moral support

You were A BIG FAN and it showed

not that you were hiding it in the first place

your leader was HIGH KEY embarrassed by you, but low key thought it was kinda cute how excited you were for this song

so dUH EXO dances growl for you

anD YOU NEARLY SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUST BECAUSE OF HOW PERFECT EVERYTHING WAS

Luhan’s voice

Baekhyun’s attitude

Sehun’s resting bitch face

eeeerrrrrthing

YOU WERE ON THE FLOOR SCREAMING

literally

and Junmyeon thought you were adOrAbLE

“I think she malfunctioned,” your leader gave a face and pushed you on the shoulder to see if you were still breathing as you let out a silent scream

“CAN YOU GUYS DO IT ONE MORE TIME”

?????

Jongin was too out of breath to fight you

but lol u know what

they did dance again for you

BECAUSE YALL HAD THE CUTEST LIL FACE AND YOU WERE LIKE 16 SO

after that your band and exo were pretty much in one group

like hella tight

you were bsicly conjoined twinss

You could be at an award show and your table would be abandoned because you decided to sit with exo or vice versa

HYPING EACH OTHER WAS NOT EVEN HYPE ANYMORE BECAUSE IT WAS LIKE YOU GUYS WERE RABID OR SOMETHING WTF

!!!!CALM!!!!!DOWN!!!!

like you + your group to them:

“thtAS MY CHILd!”

“DID YOU SEE YIXING AND HIS HIPS FUCK YOU BITCH!”

“HE WAS RUDE. THAT WAS RUDE. THAT’S NOT ALLOWED”

“GET OFF THE STAGE SLUT”

“WWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP BITCH!”

“~~~that was sooooooo sOFYT”

“CHEN STFU! YOU NEED TO STOP USING THAT DAMN VOICE OF YOURS JONGDAE. THATS ILLEEEEEGAL!”

“myY HERT!”

“OPPA *cries in korean* PLESS!”

“WHAT IS THIS FUCKERY!!!!!?“

‘iN fRonT oF MY sALaD”

“PA$$ THE H01Y W4T3R”

“NO KAI. BAD KAI. STTOOOOPPPP.”

you @ baekyun

baekyun @ you

thIS IS A CHANYEOL HEADCANON BUT I LOOK AT THIS FUCKIN MORON WHO I HATE SO MUCH SOMEONE SAVE HIM FROM HIS IDIOCY

them to you + your group:

“first of all fuck, second FUCK”

“wh-- whT WHAS THAT HIP MOVEMENT. U ARE 4 YRS OLD”

“HE did t h a t.”

“NOOOOOONNNNNNNNNAAAAA ch0k3 me”

“I CANT HEAR YOU OVER U BEING SUCH A HOE”

“i cant beLIEVE THIS STADIUM IS SO QUIET” *ears are actually bleeding*

“NOt TODaY S4T4N”

“I DIDNT ASK FOR THIS”

“how does this have 300M views????? ONLY 300M I--”

“GAAAAAHHHHH WHAT WAS THAT MOVE WHT WAS IT”

“my soul has been touched”

“this is TOOOOOOOO much ma lord”

“DID YOU JUST RIP YOUR SHIRT OFF?“

“TAKE YOUR SHIRT OFF!”

“ASDFRTYUJM ive been shot”

ya dig

it’s not verbal abuse if they can’t hear you cause of the bass and the fact your on stage performing

but like

you guys did everything together

practiced

ate

shopped

toured

pranked

T O G E T H E R

like who else in SM mattered

SHINee who?

JK YOUWERE A SHAWOL THROUGH AND THROUGH

you reassure Minho everytime unless you wanted to die that day

YOu EVEN FANGIRLED OVER TAEMIN’s MOVE WITH MINSEOK

BUT YOU OBVI you had MORE THAN ENOUGH ROOM TO BE AN EXO-L and an elf and a cassie and a so-won and DONT FOrget a vip and a---

you get the point

ANYWAY

as you were close with everyone you had a special bond with every individual

YALL STILL TEXT WITH YA BOY KRIS

yOU WENT ON A SHOW IN CHINA WITH LUHAN

TAO LEAVES PUKE COMMENTS ON YOUR INSTA POSTS

my ot12

and as much as you say you are equally close with everyone

errbody knows that be bull the size of russia

yall caNNOT dENy that you and chanyeol have the same crack powder on your philtrums

LIKE KYUNGSOO CANNOT LIVE WHEN YOU TWO ARE TOGETHER

LET HIM LIVEEEEEE

this moment must never die

ya boy be mindin his own business then

BAM BITCH

you and chanyeol be makin D.O. cray af

rest assured he HAS thought of how he’d kill both of you

ANd that’s why chanyeol loves you

like he decided he liked you the moment you lost your breath laughing when he threw a rubber duck at Kyunggsoo’s head, making it squeak in the most demented way no one thought possible

but he knew he loved you when you helped him lighten up on one of his dark days

you had that kind of effect on people

i mean all you did was sit down with him, both of your backs leaned up against each other’s, head occasionally leaning against the other’s head or shoulder, and played some nothings on the guitar and ukulele

but that was more than enough

you were there with him

and that’s what mattered

But literally the moment he accepted his feelings for you

he began to notice something he felt 100000% dumb for not seeing before

the way you laugh when Kyungsoo says a lame-ass joke

the way you always hug him from behind

you did that with literally everyone you were close with sure,

but Chanyeol noticed you did it with him more

and he 3

there was also the way you were just always winding up next to Soo when he was around, like he had some sort of magnet on him

and how you just liked poking his cheeks, begging him to show his dimples

which were really faint like gurl--

chANYEOL HAD DIMPLES TOO

CHANYEOL HAS DIMPLES

why daheq did you like his close to nonexistent ones?????????

????????

okay you liked poking Lay’s dimples more

look at my boy, who i love with burning passion ANDWILL DESTROY SM FOR BECAUSE HE JUST WANTS TO BE WITH HIS BAND SM SM SM!!!!! CHINA KOREA POLITICS FK ALL YALL

and suho

and chen

anD FINE--

yeah you did poke his too

literally anyone who remotely has dimples tbh

BT WHY KYUNGSOO

ads;ajsd;lasjdkas #jelly

so chanyeol decides to ask someone about it

so he obviously goes to his wisest hyung

but the day he wants to talk to Suho, YOU WERE ON A DATE WITH HIM

like a date but not a date date he could tell

BUT A DATE NONETHELESS AND HE WAS KINDA JELLY

so he goes to Baekhyun for some fucking reason

and he’s like “omg u like her i couLDnt FUCKING TELL FROM ALL THE HEARTS IN TH AIR”

instant regret

but like Baek did give him some advice

like 5% was advice

the other 99% was him screaming to just be a man and tell her

so chanyeol is like, “STFU.... also she likes kyungsoo so fml”

and for a hot second Baekhyun has nothing to say

BAEKHYUN HAS NOTHING TO SAY

“idek dude. this is why i flirted with her openly”

Chanyeol punched him for saying that

but he decides he’s going to tell you after like 231109 years

cos Jongdae said you don’t like Kyungsoo and that he’s sure of it

Chanyeol asked how he was sure and he was just all like

“she had a crush on Sungmin hyung before and DID NOT act like that at all.”

That made Chanyeol a lot more hopeful

So he just went for it

and asked if you wanted to get lunch

and then after eating, you guys walked back

and he just sort of blurted it out

“Joahaeyo.”

you just looked at him and chuckled, “Thank you. I like you too, Yeolie.”

bitch are you for real rn

before Chanyeol could clarify, your walking slowed, “I’ve known for a while now.”

wait

w h a t

“Minseok oppa told me.”

?????????? uhm HOW DID HE KNOW

Chanyeol’s hands were waterfalls atm, “Why did he tell you?”

Your face starts burning red and chanyeol cant help but think of it as a bad sign

“I told him I liked him...”

“... and he said he can’t reciprocate because he knows you like me, and that he can’t do that to his dongsaeng.”

waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

cool story bro

you liked someone in EXO that was NOT him

cool cool cool

I GUESS CHEN WAS RIGHT

THANKS

wait did that mean chanyeol was this obvious

wait did that mean chanyeol ruined your chances with his hyung

wait was this why you cried that one time

WaiT WAS THIS WHY YOU HUNG AROUND KYUNGSOO

BECAUSE WHENEVER MINSEOK WAS IN THE ROOM, YOU WOULD GET KINDA STIFF AT A POINT AND KYUNGSOO MAKE A JOKE TO MAKE YOU LAUGH

WASTHIS WHY YOU TWO HUNG OUT MORE

WHY HADN’T HE NOTICED

AND IF EVERYONE ELSE DID

WHY DIDNT THEY TELL HIM

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Chanyeol frowned and called out your name, proceeding to apologize

“Wae? why are you sorry? did you tell minseok to say that to me?“

he couldn’t feel mushy and weird at what you said

“YA dont tell me youre going to be weird around me too. It’s bad enough Minseok oppa distanced himself a bit.”

Chanyeol couldn’t help but be angry, sad, protective, and annoyed all at once at what you just admitted to him

“I’ll tell him to stop.”

You pouted, “you don’t have to tell anyone anything, chanyeol.”

“yes but you don’t deserve to feel awkward around anyone.”

“yes but that was minseok oppa’s choice.”

“yes but he was only doing that because he’s my hyung and he’s dumb.”

“yes but--

OU KNOW WHAT WHY DONT WE ALL JUST BE AWKWARD AROUND EACH OTHER”

and so you walked forward fast and tried to ignore chanyeol

Chanyeol, with his freakishly long legs caught up with you though

he caught your arm

“What tf are you doing?“

“Ew dont talk to me its awkward. im awkward. your awkward.”

Chanyeol laughed. “yaaaaa, why do i like you?

“THAT’S WHAT IM THINKING HO”

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crzytwn · 5 years

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❝ are you always this confident? ❞

“No, sometimes I’m even more confident.” Tia giggled, flipping her hair over her shoulder as she grinned over at her new Home Ec partner, a transfer student from motu-heck-if-she-could-remember-where. He was cute as all get out, so naturally Tia couldn’t help but flirt like crazy with him. He was a just sophomore and kind of a nobody, so obviously the flirting wouldn’t really go anywhere, but it was still fun to play around with. “I’m serious though! My beignets are going to absolutely knock your socks off when they’re ready!” She insisted, hip checking the door to the oven closed and not noticing that the tie to her apron caught on to the dials of the stove top above and lit a discarded oven mit in fire.

Instead Tia’s attention was firmly on Kai as she tried to figure him out while simultaneously talking his ear off. Sure, she wasn’t going to be caught dead dating a random underclassman but he might work for Sage or Izzie. Probably Sage more since their better tastes in fashion probably translated into a similar taste in guys more than it would with Izzie and her sweater vests. So Tia was in the middle of trying to gauge Kai’s opinion on the color purple, when the fire made its way into some spilled vegetable oil and really set their work station and the sleeve of Tia’s sweater ablaze

Frozen with terror, Tia didn’t really know how to do other than scream while Kai lept into action, breaking the glass on the fire extinguisher and figuring out how to turn it on before finally putting everything out in a white cloud of foam. Before Tia could get her wits about her to even speak properly or worry about the damage done to her sweater, let alone think about thanking the boy who'd saved her, she was being rushed off to the nurse's office to get the burns on her arm checked out and wrapped.

Hours later when school ended and everyone was in the hall getting their things from their lockers and leaving, Tia sidled up to Kai's locker with a determined look on her face. "Hey again!" She sang, leaning on her uninjured side on the locker next to his. "So class was a bit cray today, huh? I swear that's not a thing that usually happens to me, accidents like that I mean. I'm a ballerina and like cool and stuff so usually I'm way more graceful and put together. But I don't know, I think you made me nervous or somethin'? Which is also weird because I'm never nervous around cute gu-" Tia cut off, mouth wide with surprise at her own damn self. First clumsiness and then rambling? What was it about this new boy that was turning her into such an awkward nerd!

Tia briefly considered turning around, running off and avoiding him for the next few years...or weeks, since she remembered him mentioning something about leaving school to travel a lot. But there was just something about his eyes kept Tia absolutely rooted to the spot. "Anyway, it sucks you didn't get a chance to try my cupcakes. You should swing by my Aunt's restaurant sometime, it's called Tiana's Place. I'm usually there every day after school and practice, I don't work there but my recipe is the exact same as hers so you'll still be able to get your socks knocked off!" She told him, before glancing down and noticing that he actually didn't seem to be wearing any socks at all that day. "...Or on, I guess."

#[All you ever do is make me...] Tikai #memes by moi

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daisytye · 4 years

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Part 3 of the October cottage. BY Daisy Tye

‘Hey,hey hey! Looky what we got here!’

‘shut up jamie,’ whispered jeri when jamie confronted him in the playground.

‘ummm,’ Jamie looked around at his mates and shrugged, then said, ‘guys, did you hear something?’ His friends shook their heads smiling. ‘cause I thought I heard a little…. ANT trying to fight with a gorilla! Like, squeak squeak squeak!’ He laughed and sashayed away with his friends following him like a bunch of sheep.

‘stupid, stupid’ whispered Jeri to himself, as he checked his phone. 167 NEW NOTIFICATIONS! ‘woah,’ he said as he opened the first message.

Hey Jeri! Its Anna!

Just wanted to tell you, AMAZINGLY FUNNY video last night!

HILARIOUS! I cracked up! You are such a good actor. Hope Jamie won’t see it and take it the wrong way!

Love from

Anna xxxx

‘What?!’ Thought Jeri to himself. He opened another one this time it was from Sammy T, who jeri has been friends with since a young age, but now seemed to have drifted apart.

Jeri! My man!

How u doin’? I haven’t spoken 2 u in ages BRO!

CRAZY FUNNY vid last night bruv. I loved it! So did Angela, u know we r kinda a thing now BTW. She loved it sooo much she shared it to everyone she knows! CRAY CRAY am I right?!

SAMMY %

‘WHAT ABOUT THIS VIDEO?!’ Shouted Jeri a little bit too loudly. ‘AND WHY DOES SAMMY ALWAYS SIGHN OFF A TEXT WITH PERCENTAGES?’ He shouted. Just then Sammy walked over to him and said,

‘HEY! Jeri! The theatre on wheels! How ya doin man? Come on talk to me in assembly.’

‘hi sam, I’m good thanks, but a little confused.’

‘TALK TO ME!’

‘kay, so I just checked my phone and I have THOUSANDS of texts and emails. I read a few of them and they are all congratulating me on a video?’

‘OH MY! Man! Ya don’t know? Woah dude! That’s hilarious!’

‘WHAT IS?!’

‘ya practically FAMOUS mate!’

‘for what?’

‘you flipping out over Jamie Thompson, and then ya know your mum came in and screamed at ya; she really is a good actor too!’

‘what the………WHO RECORDED IT?!’

‘i expect your sister, it was on her account on YouTube, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, Snapchat. EVERYTHING!’

Jeri was speechless, but then said,

‘Why does Maxie have Twitter?’

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imwideawakeatfouroclock · 7 years

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Learning Language

“At a very young age,” a report claiming us would write, “the kids were gifted with words they didn’t know the meaning of.” At a very young age -- let me clarify the meaning of young and age and very. There is a school ground somewhere behind the curtain shops at Nursery, apparently called a “quadrangle”, so there is a school quadrangle, that is occupied by grey, uniformed bodies on mornings on weekdays when the school term is on-going. On the backs of their notebooks, especially printed for them by the school, is a poem written by Faiz Ahmed Faiz. We did not know the Significance of Faiz, of course, but there was a mosaic painting of him hung at the entrance of the library, which is also incidentally named after him. So we encountered him, unknown man of mosaic, vague name on our tongues, poem at the back of our notebooks. It is not exactly ‘poem’; it is ‘taraana’, that is the title preceding the verses. So, for instance, the beginning is, “Yey dar-ul-ilm sadd-e-rahe-aseb-e-zaman hoga.”

To this date, I only know the meaning of the beginning and the end of that phrase, the middle is a mix of many things, clear your throat, things, you know? So all these words and things crammed in our mouths on mornings and in ceremonies and in prize distributions, and ofcourse it was wonderful, our mouths and tongues champions of difficult language, look at the greatness that we bear, that we hardly understand ourselves. Not that our sense of wonder was ever spoken, or discussed, just orchestrated in sleepy mornings, and everyone’s sleepy voices would eventually pick up the enthusiasm required to sing the last verse, “Jahan main chaar soo ilm-o-amal ki hay amal-daaaaaa-aaaaa-aaaa-ri.” Surge of greatness, then snuffed out. Then we all headed to our classes.

Music class slowly turned into a site of practical jokes. By the time we reached 10th grade, we were more interested in singing Aloo Mian than the Sa-Ray-Ga-Ma our music instructors tried so hard to teach us. For one, we were completely off-tune, and secondly, since it was our last year of school, everyone wanted to have fun. So there were made up chipkalis to scare everyone in the room; there were silly rhymes we requested, and the music instructor, sick of our juvenility, resorted to play the tune of Aloo Mian on his harmonium. But sometimes, we’d get to sing Bhar Day Jholi; we didn’t admit it, but we loved singing it, and everyone joined in. We’d be serious enough for five minutes to rise to that occasion.

Before we had turned into a joke, though, we learnt beautiful songs, but in Urdu. Sometimes we would all not manage to sound like screaming banshees when the instructor asked us to sing “Aa-aa-aaaa” in the tune of Sa-Ray-Ga-Ma. Over time, we learnt to correct our lyrics; it was not infact, “Ley Jaa Muddin Kay Darwazay Par”. It was “Nijammuddin kay darwazay par.” Njiammuddin Aulia, Nijammuddin Aulia, follows right after, so it makes sense.

Baba only recently explained me the meaning of, “Hum...taba abad sayy-o-taghayyur kay wali hain.” It’s so much fun to sing and remember, but....okay, I think I should just say it: extremely problematic. Nation crammed into our mouths.

Somebody in the school insisted we needed an English music class as well. The syllabus for that class was extremely strange. Every rhyme seemed to contain sun, moon, stars and mountains, with a momentary appearance of Margalla islands, because it matched the rhyme scheme. “This land was made for you and me!” Mr. Music Instructor Sir, what land? Who is you and me? What are their languages, and how do they intersect? Why is it important to speak this belonging in English? What would you translate this in Urdu as? Who would belong then? Will we learn songs in Sindhi as well? (No, we won’t.)

There is a system of classification of poetry, a canonization and organization, a careful curation of verses only known to Intermediate Urdu (Normal) students. This happens in the form of notes. All poets, all male poets incidentally, lined up on our tongues and notebooks, and we can pull out verses from our mouths about three distinct themes, quite literally organized in headings in black pointer: Ishq, Dunya ki Bey-sabaati and Insaaniyat. Sir Muneer, as part of examination prep, made me recite all the shairs for Meer-Dard-Ghalib, the trio we could rely on, because we could memorize them and them alone, leave the other poets and their verses alone, because everyone knew that if you knew Meer-Dard-Ghalib, you would easily pass the exam. Ms. Qamar dictated us tashreehs in quiet classrooms, and we wrote down, “Aadmi khata ka putlaa hay.” Once, Ms. Qamar asked us to write down a mumaasil shair, a shair you write down as part of the tashreeh because that gives you more marks because the examiner recognizes that you’ve done a lot more memorizing than they expected, so Ms. Qamar dictated to us the first half of a shair, “Kon kehta hay kay tu pyaar na kar…” Quiet classroom, taking down dictation. Ushna took advantage of the silence and said, “Pappu yaar tang na kar.”

Edit: Sir Muneer and Sir Wahid both thought I was some sort of genius, but I was only good at memorizing things. So I remember studying about Angaray, I remember the name Rasheed Jahan, I remember memorizing it as part of a history of the Urdu Afsana, which I have now forgotten. Some days ago, I heard a person talk about Rasheed Jahan as a poet who was a woman; I don’t ever remember memorizing that.

In 8th grade, we attempted to stage a play in school for Northanger Abbey. Hira and I had to learn to dance together as girl and boy. We replicated the dance from the Northanger Abbey movie, and it was strange and stiff, but we had to do what we had to do. So me, Catherine, and Hira, Mr. Henry Tinley, with our sloppy Englishes, we learnt to strangely hold hands and manouvre stiffly through our classmates arranged in rank and file like armies. Apparently that is what dance looked like. Everyone hated studying Northanger Abbey, and they were also a little bit frustrated with me for scoring well on the exam for it. During our English exam, we debated the meaning of the word ‘protagonist’ and ‘antagonist’. We had no idea.

Most of the time, our English teachers had difficulty with English as well. By 10th grade, we were just teaching ourselves. In an undergrad Linguistics class, a teacher pulled up our 10th grade English syllabus as specimen, as something cray and funny. The joke was our exam paper that asked about a poem, which was about a man going on the top of a mountain to meet God, “Where did the man go to meet God?” Ash and I almost cried with laughter, and embarrassment, and later we were overwhelmed with the thought of escaping an education that many people don’t get to escape.

Ammi said innocently about Donald Trump’s election, “The whole world become shake.” We have come to respect the fallibilities of our language and the context in which this failing happens; but still, I caught Hassan Bhai’s eye and we started giggling, and ofcourse he made the strawberry or chocolate shake? joke.

Neither of us has perfect English but that doesn’t mean we don’t get to make fun of each other. Once, my sister said about somebody coming from upstairs, “She’s coming down from above.” Hassan Bhai never lets her forget that.

Baba handles work in emails, and handles emails in English. His signature move is pausing in between eating, walking, or talking, asking me for a translation divorced of all context. But, as is evident, the story can grin from between those words anyway. So one day, he stopped in the TV lounge and asked me, “Is it invincible or invisible?” When you don’t feel seen. I said the latter. He nodded and kept on walking. On another occasion, he said, “Is it hurt or hurted? When I pair it with heart-broken.” Just recently, he asked me, “Can I say I would like to offer you thanks?” I nod in between eating my salad at the dinner table, and don’t need to ask for context because the invisible, hurting issue has apparently been resolved.

Aleeza corrects my English now. I was trying to teach her something from her workbook; I roll my ‘r’ when I say Verb, but she looks at me indignantly and says, “Verb? (It’s) Ve--b!” I’m a little surprised, but I just shrug and say okay. Ammi thinks the kids should learn Urdu, but we’re too exhausted; they can just learn what they learn, and we’ll work with what we have.

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