#crit-a-cola

[x-martina-krane]

Selection like in The Matrix 😵‍💫

#Tf2 #bonk #crit-a-cola #tf2 scout #purple and Red #cosplay i guess? #time to make blue

[lesbx]

i love the soda popper. that second guy told me to kill myself after this and switched to sniper to focus me and ended up getting killed like 4 more times before he just left the game

#you can see the beginning of his anger in the chat at the end of this clip #he did get me once though. he got me with the bushwacka while i had a crit-a-cola active so like i was basically 50% of that kill

[aprofessionalwithoutstandards]

[ID: A graphic showing Scout's class symbol and all ten of his secondary weapons. End ID]

#tf2 #team fortress 2 #scout #scout tf2 #tf2 scout #polls #tf2 poll #i know my graphics are shit don't bring it up. :(

[triptych-of-voids]

Im gonna chug bonk and crit a cola at the same time to become a temporary god. You can't stop me, but I'll let you watch

urrgh...ill go get my medigun....one of these days all of your organs will shut down, im sure of it.

#ill take 'the scout anon does something stupid' for 500 #the doc is in #replies from the void

[magnetictapedatastorage]

til that the tf2 wiki's 3d effect is really a bunch of still images. see below for the crit a cola:

zoomed in:

#tf2

[0sbrain]

Bonk Atomic Punch vs. Crit-a-Cola

if they were real i would mix both of them and binge the resault in one big sip. for science

#tf2 #zezo talks

[cosmixsaystoast]

scout owns a baseball bat for base defense

I own a baseball bat for base defense, since that's what the Scunt mains intended. 4 soldier mains and a medic try to cap my intel. "What the hell man!?" as I grab my Crit-O-Cola and aluminum baseball bat, knock the first soldiers kneecaps out, he's paralyzed on the spot. Draw my bonk atomic punch on the second man, he misses me entirely cause my brain is functioning at 3000% normal speed and nails the enemy team's Hoovy. I have to resort to my force of nature that I mounted at the top of the stairs, "EAT IT FATTY!" as the force of nature shreds through the last 2 soldiers. The sound and missed pellets set off nearby sentries. Fix spikes onto my Boston basher and charge the medic, he dies while running back to spawn cause the Bleed status effect drains 105 hp. Just as the Scunt mains intended. - Scout tf2 (probably)

#tf2 #scout #scout tf2 #tf2 scout #copypasta #thats what the founding fathers intended

[tf2heritageposts]

if its guranteed that you wouldnt get radiation poisoning would you drink bonk/crit-a-cola

absolutely

[the-hittite]

It's him.

The Scourge of Boston.

The Overboss of the Raiders.

The Scout from Team Fortress Two.

Gameplay notes under the cut.

Alternate start mod required if at all possible to avoid creating a nightmarish timeline in which Scout has procreated.

Strength 1. We live and die by Scouts tiny baby noodle arms. Once I got the Strength bobblehead I could start putting points into Big Leagues.

Perception can be anything. The only perk you really need is Rifleman and you can get the bobblehead basically immediately. You can maybe put points into it for things like Refractor but I never ended up doing that.

Endurance is tricky. To really drive home the fragile Scout theme you want low health, but Endurance also determines how long you can sprint. Personally I went for 7 END because lack of armor on a close range build was already a challenge and I desperately wanted Adamantium Skeleton and Rad Resistance.

Charisma 1. Self Explanatory.

Intelligence 1. Self Explanatory.

Agility 10. Self Explanatory and perks like Moving Target and Action Boy are must haves.

Luck at least 5 for Idiot Savant. You probably want it higher for Better Criticals and Critical Banker. They're incredible with a double barrel shotgun.

Clothing and hats/helmets can be worn as long as they fit the aesthetic or match an existing cosmetic (army helmet, scribe hat, etc.) Armor pieces can only be added if they apply the Sprinter's legendary effect. Damage resistance perks are acceptable since they function basically the same as MVM resistance upgrades.

Medical emergencies can be dealt with by paying a doctor or sleeping it off. In the heat of combat your only options are to either run off to find a first aid kit and immediately consume the entire contents whether you need all of them or not (preferably right before a burning Medic can get it) or by downing a Nuka Cola variant. Radiation and broken limbs are your worst enemy. It's probably a good idea to do Nuka World before the Glowing Sea since Nuka Grape is your only way to remove rads in the field.

Double Barrel Shotgun as a main. Deliverer as a secondary. Any bat as melee. For most of the game I had a pretty decent flow to combat where I'd charge up a crit with my pistol and run in close to delete things with my Force-a-Nature. Sawn Off barrel and Calibrated receiver quadruples your critical damage, and that's before perks. I literally one shot Swan just to see if I could. Deliverer ended up being my most used weapon because it's just plain good all around. The bats didn't get that much use until I finally put points into Blitz, then they got crazy fast.

With this stat spread you have access to absolutely no crafting perks, but you can still make basic upgrades or scavenge them off of other weapons. Staying in the Railroad's good graces lets you buy upgrades for Deliverer. There's a guaranteed bladed rocket bat in the Pack's area of Nuka World.

Stretch goals beyond just beating the game:

Leave Preston on read and peace out of Concord after grabbing the Perception bobblehead. Leave power armor, miniguns and settlement building to Heavy and Engineer.

Use the "sarcastic" option at every opportunity. If people don't regret initiating conversation with you, you're playing Scout wrong.

Collect every unique bat.

Complete all baseball related quests.

Capture the control point in Diamond City for the BLU team.

Buy the Home Plate.

Complete all of Nuka World and become Lord Bonk of Soda Mountain.

Institute ending just because I hate them and I can't think of a worse fate than giving Scout complete control.

#fallout 4 #team fortress 2 #tf2 #scout

[renthewerecatboi]

i don't really have any specific character i main, but i have the PERSONALITY of a scout main

i derive all of my self worth off of crit-a-cola kills and people calling me a bitch in chat

#the frantic meows of a crazy person

[theanontrain]

"Update: I tried playing 'Mosquito Scout' and the Crit-a-Cola ran out before I got close and 9 times out of 10 it was unnecessary or actively detrimental. This is the worst Team Fortress 2 subclass idea I thought of"

#Anon artist's #Team Fortress 2 #TF2 #Scout TF2

[jaratedeguadalupe]

I have yet to meet a single person who does not have their inventory full of unopened crates, I feel like very few people actually open crates.

Do you? And if so what's the coolest thing you got from a crate?

oh lord. i'm sorry to disappoint you but i can count on my hands the amount of crates i've opened. my inventory is full enough as it is i don't need any crates taking up more space lest i have no room for my 4th crit a cola

#not a huge gambler if i want something i buy it lol #i mean it ranges from a couple cents to one or two dollars on mannco.store #which brings us to todays sponsorship #packagefromcoop #tf2

[ignorancesblissart]

[plays tf2 once] hm. i do not care for anything else anymore.

these are my tf2 ocs <3 basically just my pyro + scout loadouts LOL.

ill put stuff abt my sodaboy scout under the readmore. xmas pyro doesnt realy have any story bc theyre just a silly goofy guy.

god i fucking love tf2.

scout aka "sodaboy" or "sb scout" (they/them)

is SUPER addicted to BONK! sodas n crit-a-cola. they collect tabs/bottle caps and pin them to their bag :3c

theyve also got weird Spiral Eyes as a side effect of constant critcola/bonk drinking.

they made their outfit purple based cos of BRAND LOYALTY (🤨 🤢)

theyre actually microdosing lead/nuclear waste/brainwashing chemicals every time they drink a can/bottle (which is why they cant stop drinking it)

sodaboy has braces just cos lolz. maybe an effect of the soda rotting their teeth and their medic was like. [Ok I made you braces that fix ur fucked up teeth. Stop drinking this shit. ] and sb was like [NO THANKS !!!!!!!!] but took the braces anyway

they dont have dogtags but Super Rare Special Edition bottlecaps instead

the additional items i gave them are : crit-a-cola purple soda specs + purple hot heels.

YEA THATS IT.

#tf2 #team fortress two #team fortress 2 #tf2 fanart #tf2 scout #tf2 pyro #tf2 ocs #tf2 oc pyro #tf2 oc scout

[rainderthesomeone]

Yo I wish there was an actual tf2 themed restaurant Valve gave someone permission to make, I can imagine it just filled with Tf2 memorabilia and custom made props and actual in game pictures, like one side is Red and the other side is Blu, and the waiters are hired actors playing the Mercs, something similar to places like the Karen cafe (which is an actual place and the entire staff are hired actors playing as Karen’s XD)

Basically like a miniature universal studios theme park but confined into a restaurant.

And the menu would be actual Tf2 food items.

Main course would be Sandvich of course, Hales kangaroo Stake and eggs, and Heavy’s buffalo steak, and scouts bucket of chicken.

Appetizers would be heavy’s banana.

Dessert would be Dalokohs bar.

Drinks, Bonk and crit cola (which would be just sprite and Fanta in different cans) Demos scrumpy, Engies beer, and Atomic punch (which is just blue koolaid)

Bonus menu items would be

Engies Texas stew (which is a nice homemade soup)

Soldier surprise (a casserole in a mre ration bag)

Pyros glitter cake(a rainbow cake with a mini balonacorn cake topper on it with glitter sprinkles)

Overheal Wunderbar ( a jello cheesecake that looks like a medpack with red jello inside it.)

And need a dispenser here. (A dispenser cake with scouts face poorly drawn on it)

Than there would be little secret things you could do in the restaurant as well like enter a contest to who can shout the best tf2 voice lines winner gets a free sandvich.

Than there would be a little jukebox with the entire tf2 fight songs playlist in it.

Welp that’s enough for me ranting on about how cool a tf2 restaurant would be, but I guess i know what I’ll be trying to do in the future.

#tf2 #team fortress 2 #sandvich #Youtube

[wjbs-aus]

Almost every TF2 Merc has at least one associated instrument and/or drink, anyway here's a (probably incomplete) list.

Musical Instruments (not counting the Shred Alert, since it's all-class and also a crossover item, and any cosmetics, since there's no indication their respective classes know how to play them, plus they could simply be wearing them for aesthetic purposes only)

Scout: bongoes

Soldier: trombone

Pyro: (toy) piano

Demo: piano, bagpipes

Heavy: N/A

Engineer: guitar, banjo

Medic: musical saw, accordion

Sniper: saxophone, didgeridoo

Spy: N/A

Drinks

Scout: Bonk!/Crit-a-Cola, "milk"

Soldier: coffee, soup

Pyro: N/A

Demo: literally all alcohol (primarily Scrumpy)

Heavy: N/A

Engineer: beer

Medic: coffee(?)

Sniper: coffee

Spy: wine, whiskey(?)

Feel free to let me know if I missed anything.

#tf2

[blubushie]

ok we all know Medic gets high on his medigun fumes, and i know your hc about Mundy and shrooms, but do you think the other mercs get high and if so on what (take this to mean the canon characters or your blu team idc)

Soz if this is confusing because the shrooms are kicking in. Happy 4/20!

Just to clarify the Sniper one isn't a headcanon, he canonically does shrooms. Him getting high off cane toads though is a headcanon specific to Learnin' the BLUs.

I don't really do headcanons of canon characters except as they apply to my fic because I think it kinda causes some obsessions over who has the "right" headcanon if that makes sense? Headcanon wars. With that in mind this will all be as it applies to the fic. Little pro tip for the future: if I use names, then I'm referring to characters as they relate to the fic. Class titles specifically are in referral to characters in canon. For example, canon Sniper is always referred to as Sniper. My characterisation of Sniper is always referred to as Mundy. Helps to avoid confusion. That out of the way...

RED TEAM

Jeremy: Ma said drugs are bad. Drinks alcohol but only beer and fruity cocktails which he never drinks around the team because he thinks they’ll judge him for drinking a pink Cosmopolitan. They wouldn’t. Only stimulant he uses is caffeine in the form of Bonk. He only drinks Cherry Fission and Crit-A-Cola.

Soldier: Something something war on drugs, unknowingly takes sedatives Luddy gives him so he’ll sleep later in the morning instead of playing the bugle terribly at exactly 4am every morning. Now he wakes up everyone at 6:30am instead. Get drunk on beer with Tav.

Firebug (Pyro): Cannabis. The only person who has seen what he looks like under the mask is Engie and Ludwig. How does he smoke it? No clue. Probably not a bong, most likely a pipe because of the pretty colours of the blown glass. Always keen to share.

Tavish: Scrumpy and (rarely) beer. Only drinks beer when he’s out of Scrumpy and he prefers Blu Streak to Red Shed. Has probably done cannabis with Pyro once or twice but not a stoner in the slightest.

Mikhail: Complete abstinence, not even liquor.

Dell: Adderall and only Adderall. He uses it to keep him awake and focused when he's working on projects at night. Also drinks beer, he too prefers Blu Streak to Red Shed. There’s a running joke here of no one drinking Red Shed because Red Shed tastes like skunk piss. Occasionally drinks Jack Daniels, always pours it into a glass. On rare occasions will smoke a cigar.

Ludwig: Has done everything under the sun at least once. Sources half the shit he gets from Mundy. Ayahuasca? Peyote? Shrooms? DMT? Ketamine? Mundy will set you up. 50% chance Luddy grows his own opium poppies. Doesn't get high recreationally, just does it for the science (except when his Medigun is involved, he totes gets high off that for shits and giggles).

Jacques (Spy): Nicotine and alcohol, everything else is for heathens. He prefers brandy because he's a pompous French cunt that only drinks French shit. Probably smokes fucking Gauloises like the cunt he is. That said he also knows how to enjoy a cigar and probably imports Cohibas from Cuba because he's such a cunt.

Mundy: If it can be naturally sourced, fair chance he's tried it (Mundy does not fuck with anything synthetic). Psychonaut of the team to the point Luddy goes to him for advice. Routinely does shrooms, occasionally travels to Arizona to catch Colorado River toads to source DMT for later. Feral about the DMT and does not share but will share his shrooms with you if you ask nicely. Picks them himself. Has everything from cubes to azzies but hates azzies because (despite being a more intense high) they're still azzies and every time he takes them he ends up paralysed for two hours. ABSOLUTELY HATES CANNABIS. As a bushman and an Australian he has a finely-tuned sense of smell and the smell of cannabis drives him up a wall. Has done everything I have minus LSD and ecstasy. Has done opium in a Bombay den and in Bangkok. The Bangkok one was more fun. Has done ketamine four times (makes it himself) but only once was recreationally. One was to treat pain after he was shot during a job (yes this was the one above his armpit). The other two was accidentally sticking himself with Sleeper darts because he's a dumb cunt. Actually doesn't like ketamine all that much because if he takes a full dose he wakes up with a headache. Probably bumped cocaine off a hooker's arse once and he will take that secret to his grave. Also smokes, obviously. Prefers Winfields (the red pack) but when he has the time he hand-rolls his own durries. Also chews tobacco sometimes. DOES NOT DRINK CAFFEINE. It makes his hands shake. Loves the taste of coffee (he drinks it black with no sugar) but only uses decaf beans so the caffeine level is so low that it doesn’t affect his aim. Also has a surprisingly good taste for alcohol—his favourite beer is VB but the best beer he’s ever had was Emu Export, he can just never find it outside of WA. Favourite cocktail is the old fashioned because he has an affection for whisky. Also spent his life drinking his dad’s bushshine plus is an Australian, so he has the highest liquor tolerance out of everyone on either team and could drink anyone under the table. Despite being VERY INSISTENT on psychedelic safety he's a complete hypocrite when it comes to practice: he never has a trip sitter, he does it when he's depressed or upset, he takes heroic/breakthrough doses even when he's already feeling like shit, and he spontaneously trips instead of planning in advance. Don't be like Mundy (or me). Also a massive adrenaline junkie and this becomes VERY OBVIOUS in Australia.

TIME FOR BLU TEAM!

Jesse: Ma said drugs are bad, but what Ma don’t know won’t hurt her. Isn’t allowed to smoke cigarettes and even Mundy refuses to give any to her unless she promises not to inhale. That said, she’s curious about shrooms but wouldn’t do anything besides that, and would only ever do shrooms with an experienced psychonaut she trusts (cough Mundy cough). Caffeine addict by way of Bonk. Only drinks Blutonium Berry and Crit-A-Cola. Would absolutely fight Jeremy for the last tinny of Crit-A-Cola. Will drink any alcohol except brandy. Has a surprisingly high alcohol tolerance especially for her size (cheers, Ma) and is one of the ~10% of the human population who doesn’t get hangovers. Actually scared of opioids and would never do them because Mikey overdosed on heroin. Had to be physically restrained when Suki gave her heroin in Italy after she was shot because she freaked out over it.

Dougal: Only smokes cigars and drinks Scotch whisky.

Heinz: Hates smoking because it irritates his already-damaged throat. Only drinks schnapps and beer. Doesn’t do recreational drugs.

Liem: Chews tobacco, doesn’t smoke. Alcoholic who only drinks beer. Favourite beer is Blu Streak. Became an alcoholic after Ted’s death.

Bruce: Only drinks beer, occasionally smokes cigars, will rarely let Suki test opioids on him.

Tamotu: Smokes cannabis. Has never done any other drugs but would be 100% keen to do psychedelics with Mundy sometime on account of Mundy being an experienced psychonaut and excellent trip-sitter.

Suki: Doesn’t do anything outside drinking sake and the occasional Adderall. However in the past she once did a bump of cocaine during a 36-hour stint in trauma surgery, and then proceeded to do surgery while high on the cocaine. The patient lived. That said Suki gets very hyperactive and more “aggressive” when she’s off her chops—give her phencyclidine and she’d burn the fucking state down. Has never and will never smoke. Yells at everyone else for smoking.

Yuri: Has never done any drugs ever except occasionally drinking a shot of vodka. You can tell shit’s about to go down when Yuri is getting into the liquor cabinet. Has a liquor tolerance to almost rival Liem. Chews tobacco, doesn’t smoke.

Charles: Chainsmoker and nicotine addict. Drinks Scotch whisky and still has no idea what happened to his $10,000 bottle of 1937 32-Year Macallan Fine & Rare but suspects Liem to be the culprit. Would never do reactional drugs because it’s for heathens. Complete lightweight when it comes to alcohol (Jesse got all of her tolerance from her mother) but also doesn’t get hangovers.

#blu whos #learnin the blus #tf2 #i GUESS?