Okay but like hear me out…
Metal Bat holding you up by your legs while he just absolutely pounds you into the wall ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
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Next Chapter of Love Triangle Gone Wrong is written. I just don't know whether to post it Monday or wait till Thursday 🤔 I might make it Thursday and start getting ahead a few chapters on it and this other fic I'm starting and have one post on Mondays and the other post on Thursdays.
The new fic won't be posted till mid March because that's when My Idiot Hero will wrap up, and it'll give me time to get ahead to keep updates regular rather than a haphazardous schedule. (If I make them haphazardous I'll post 11 chapters at a time and then not write again for 4 years. This keeps my motivation and sanity up 😂)
Anywho, sorry, just rambling and getting my thoughts out.
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Tumblr Exclusive!!!!
For @anybodihearme....
QuarantinEdd
They were supposed to be quarantined.
But they were essential employees, so off to work they went, Edd to the hospital and Kevin to the town’s only mechanic’s garage.
Edd going to work made sense. He was an ER nurse and desperately needed in the midst of a pandemic, but Kevin wondered if the governor had lost his mind by letting businesses like his remain open.
He had enough money to pay everyone for ninety days and if he got a small business loan to help offset any losses from the pandemic, he could afford to pay everyone for another ninety more. Not to mention being able to pay for a decent cleaning crew to make sure everything would be safe once the people smarter than him said it was safe to open.
But people were still out driving for small gig jobs like online food deliveries, off and out of work parents were taking the time to teach their now homeschooled kids to drive, and for some reason, the number of fender benders repairs thanks to speeders quadrupled.
And that was in the first sixty days.
It was now day 132 and Kevin’s numb.
He’s down to a third of his crew because someone had either caught the virus or has been in close contact with someone who has, customers that have been coming in for decades were taking their business elsewhere because they just couldn’t deal with his simple requests to keep their facial coverings on and to stay at least six feet from each other in the shop’s oversized lobby, parts were taking forever to come in because they weren’t essential items so they were low shipping priority, and he can’t remember the last time he’s seen Edd.
Video calls are verboten in the hospital because of HIPPA, but he hasn’t even gotten a meme from the man in a week.
Stepping out of the hottest shower he can bare to take, he checks his phone.
There were the usual texts from his mother, Nazz, Rolf, and he thinks his baby grandson has gotten a hold of his mother’s phone again, or his daughter in law has had a stroke.
Quickly opening the last text, he saw the baby had sent him a seven second video of himself running with said phone and his mother screaming at his father to catch him while his sister declared that he had to come with her if he wanted to live.
His chuckle turned into a high pitched scream not unlike that of the lead starlet in many of the B List horror films The Eds watched when they were kids when the bathroom door swung open.
Edd fell to the floor with a cackle, holding his sides as he rocked side to side and laughed til he cried as Kevin stormed out of the bathroom, quickly donned his housecoat, and threw an old quilt some great aunt from Ireland made his father when he was a baby over his head.
“YOU SCARED ME!” He screamed at his husband as he went to stand over the man still tittering on the floor.
“You look ri-ridiculous,” Edd snickered as he sat up and did his best to catch his breath.
“How dare you?!” He huffed, arms crossed, looking rather ridiculous considering his usual immodesty of just walking around naked when no one but Edd was in the house. “And what are you doing here anyways?!”
“I live here?” Edd shrugged and Kevin finally got a good look at him.
His hair was wet and he only had on an old tshirt and shorts he had made out of an old pair of sweatpants.
“You’re home?” Kevin asked softly, a bit disbelieving what he was seeing.
“As of today,” Edd answered as he looked at his smartwatch before taking it off and placing it on the charger on his nightstand, “I get the next two weeks off, pending the results of my latest round of tests.”
“What happens next?”
Edd looked the worried man in his weary face and tried to be as honest but as gentle as possible.
“If I’m not sick, I go back. If I’m sick, I stay home til I get worse and then I go back because I’m dying.”
And for some strange reason, Kevin thinks he can fight Death.
“You won’t die,” he said, voice low, the quilt hitting the floor and his housecoat quickly followed.
Edd had to admire his moxie, even if he was being a bit ridiculous.
“You gonna fight a novel virus for me?” He smirked as he walked over the naked man in front of their dresser, arms crossed defiantly.
HIs back hitting the bed and his shorts hitting the floor was his answer.
But then Kevin realized that if Edd was in the house, so were the germs.
“Where did you shower?” He asked as he straddled him, arms crossed but his dick was getting harder by the second and Edd is about to die.
“Main bathroom in the hall,” Edd groaned, batting at his chest to get him to get back to business.
“Clothes?”
“Washer downstairs? Your stuff is still in the one in the garage.”
The great thing about the house was that the first owners put the washer and dryer in the garage, the next family built a laundry room addition off the kitchen for some reason, but it was awesome because Kevin could always use the old set in the garage for his heavy, greasy coveralls, while the laundry room was used for their everyday clothes.
But before Edd got stuck at the hospital for the last way too long in Kevin’s mind, they both had been using the garage for laundry to keep from bringing the germs the CDC was only now getting an inkling of an understanding of, in the house.
If he used the sanitize cycle on the fancy set in the laundry room, they’d be ok.
“Sanitize?”
“I’ll roast you in it myself if you don’t blow me.”
“But I don’t want to die, Eddward!” Kevin pouted, feeling randy, confused, and oh, so frustrated.
Edd sat up and pulled his shirt off to bring Kevin’s warming body closer to his burning own.
“I’m ok,” he whispered lovingly. “I got the clothes washed and I took a shower, just like you. We can clean the cars tomorrow. It’ll be fine.”
“Fuck that, I’m having Jimmy’s cleaning crew over here first thing to do it,” he said matter of factly as he wiggled himself off Edd and grabbed his legs to pull him to the edge of the bed so he wouldn’t be roasted in the fancy washing machine.
Tears pricked the edges of Edd’s eyes as Kevin swallowed him whole and his hands lost themselves in sunset red locks.
Never had he been able to hold onto him like this and he distantly thinks of suggesting him never cutting his hair again because -
“OH GOD!” He screams as he pushes him away, embarrassed that he was to the edge so quickly.
“You like that, huh?” Kevin snickered at him as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and waggled his brows at him.
“I hate you,” Edd huffed back but his body had other plans.
It was a bit like riding a bike.
But it was also almost like going through the motions, though.
Kevin’s mouth nipping at his neck as he grabbed the lube off his nightstand.
Them trading kisses between trading the lube between themselves; Kevin coating his hand and Edd coating Kevin’s dick.
Then Kevin’s first knuckle dropped inside.
Edd hissed in the back of his throat as he quickly squeezed the dick in his lap before he tossed his head back with a groan.
He knew he wouldn’t last long, but this was gonna take a bit.
“Just breathe for me, Babe,” Kevin huffed, trying to set his mind right.
If he was this tight on his hand, he’s gonna lose his damn mind once he gets inside of him.
Edd took a breath and Kevin wiggled his finger as gently as he could. The stretch lasted for only a moment before Edd picked up his hips for a bit more, but Kevin stayed him with a hand on his stomach.
“Breathe,” he ordered as he slipped down off Edd’s torso and Edd’s breath is gone as quickly as he took it because his dick is in Kevin’s mouth again, naturally.
He relaxes into the bed, taking everything in.
The softness of the sheets, the spicy musk of the air freshener plugged into the wall, the soft dampness of Kevin’s hair in his hands, the soaking warmth of his mouth.
When his head hits the pillow, it’s like he’s been wrapped up in something.
He gasps as another finger is added to Kevin’s ministrations and when he tosses his head to the side he realizes that Kevin’s been using his pillow.
Dear Lort…
The man has his head between his legs, two, no, three fingers up his ass, and his pillow smells like him.
Kevin wouldn’t be mad if he came this instant, but he’d rather he fuck him like he wants to do his pillow right about now.
“Kevin, please.”
The way he spoke was just so urgent that Kevin didn’t argue.
He just moved.
He grabbed the lube as he came off of him, squeezing some quickly into his hand and then giving himself a couple of strokes as he got into position. Resting on his knees, he pulled Edd into his lap and said, “You do it, ok?”
Edd nodded because they both knew if Edd could control the motion, he’d be less likely to be hurt.
No one wants a trip to the hospital in a pandemic over something like this!
Bracing his hands onto Kevin’s sides and Kevin doing likewise, he slowly worked his hips back and forth til he was fully hilted, his head falling onto Kevin’s shoulder with a thunk.
Neither moved for a few, long, tense moments.
When Edd finally brought his head up, Kevin whispered, “I’m...I’m not gonna last long.”
“Me, either,” Edd sighed as he placed a chaste kiss to Kevin’s lips and moved a bit.
Kevin groaned into the soft movement, his hands falling onto Edd’s hips, and his mouth searching for those soft lips again.
His gut whirled tight when Edd pushed their mouths together and his brain shorted out when the needy man in his lap started sucking on his tongue like he would his dick.
He moaned into the kiss and Edd’s hips picked up speed.
Lean arms around his neck made his hips jerk up, but he dug his knees into the bed to anchor himself down when Edd wrapped his legs around him.
Hands explored every inch of skin they could touch and they kissed each other breathless as Edd drove himself up and down on his dick as fast and hard as he could.
“Fuck, I missed you,” Edd whined before kissing him again.
But it was harder this time and his hips weren’t moving in any sort of rhythm anymore.
Kevin brought him closer with one arm, the other slipped between them and started to stroke Edd’s throbbing cock.
Kevin couldn’t wait to get his mouth on it again, but for now, he’d suck Edd’s tongue in his mouth to give him a taste of what he wanted to do to him, with him, and just for him for the next two weeks.
The hand on his cock and the mouth on his tongue made his hips jerk.
HARD.
And Kevin’s dick hit a spot in him that hadn’t been touched in weeks.
He could barely scream as he fell apart, his ass squeezing the hard dick inside him as his whole body begged for more.
Long, thick, milky white strips of cum bursts between them as a roar came out of Kevin.
Strong hands grabbed lithe hips and Edd’s gone.
Release like he hadn’t known in far too long coursed through his whole being as Kevin came as hard as he did.
Once the room stopped spinning, Edd realized that they had fallen backwards, their heads at the feet of the bed.
“You need a haircut,” Kevin grinned affectionately at him, running a weak hand through dark, thick, wavy locks.
“And If you ever cut your hair again, I’ll kill you,” Edd absolutely purred, relishing the gentle touch.
“So noted,” Kevin chuckled as he willed himself up.
“Where ya goin now?” Edd whined.
“Bathroom,” Kevin grinned as he snatched the lube up from where it had fallen on his pillow and made his way to the bathroom.
Edd scrambled as best he could on his baby deer legs to follow him.
Kevin didn’t go back to work and Johnny’s cleaning crew didn’t come for two weeks.
Kevin and Edd shrugged it off and said they were busy catching up on projects at home.
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dear loRT can you please help me find more sub!joon/reader fics?! i love your works by the way, they are so OOF
I have a couple in my rec. The longer ones/authors being:
Smart Guys Finish Last by Addison Zhang is good, 17k! A Dominatrix AU dabbling in the sapiosexual. Student RM, Yoongi joins.
@goldenscript has archived one, it’s Wrapped Around Your Finger; cock rings, bondage, 7k. More student sub!RM.
@jeonjagiya wrote River, Pro Domme x stockbroker!Namjoon AU right there, pet play and foot fetishism, 10k.
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Last night baby was having a hard time.
She cluster fed then needed to burp then needed more milk, then needed to burp. I couldn’t keep my eyes open. She wasnt happy. She was whining so loud .
I woke up hubs & asked him to take her for s but so I could sleep. I could hear him in the other room
“Baby you’re so sleepy. Go to sleep in papa. Mama needs rest. I love you baby. Papas right here”
Dear lort. I didn’t care how tired I was. It melted me & I smiled.
He came in the room & asked if he could try shutting off the salt lamp to see if that helped because it was orettt bright. Guess what. He turned it off, put on the night light with the eucalyptus scent & we both knocked out.
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King Dice Singing
A DevilDice, DiceCup, Normal fic all smashed up together!
Song used: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8mq4UT4VnbE
________________________________________________________________
It’s a slow afternoon around the casino. Customers come around night so there wasn’t really anyone hanging out at the casino, so usually around this time the employees had free time to play a couple games themselves.
“Black Jack!” Cuphead exclaims.
“Way to go bro!” his brother Mugman cheers.
“Again? Really?!” King Dice slams his cards down. That was the 21st time in a row and that can’t just be pure luck.
“I swear if I hear you made a deal with another demon…” the Devil growls.
“Ah don’t blame me for having actual skills.” Cuphead smugly said leaning back in his chair.
That really got the Devil fired up.
Cuphead and the Devil then went back and forth in a heated fight about what are “actual skills” and poor Mugman was trying to break it up. King Dice just ignores their immature bickering and starts shuffling up the cards. He starts humming an old jazz tune.
“Hey Dice….why do ya always hum?” Mugman spoke up trying to distract the two from fighting. Everyone already quieted down to listen to the humming.
“Eh I just like the sound of my own voice.” He responded nonchalantly.
He honestly never really thought about it before. He always hums. He hums to himself, hums while gambling, hums while working on paperwork…
“If ya like it so much how ‘bout you sing?” the Devil suggest with a mischievous smile.
“Yeah! Sing for us, I’m getting tired of winning to ol’ furball here” Cuphead snickers.
If he doesn’t stop everyone knows that all hell will break loose.
Literally.
“Please…” Mugman barely says above a whisper as he shrank back. There’s fire in the Devil’s eyes and looks like he’s gonna blow.
“Alright fellas I’ll sing for ya. I haven’t had an audience in ‘while.” He stands up and straightens himself before heading to the stage.
The stage is for the casino’s own jazz band. It was an instant smash hit with the customers.
Of course it was, he did lead the band after all.
He learned from his pop. But he himself never actually sung before; his ol pop was a jazz singer himself but…that was a long time ago.
He still remembers some of his pop’s songs. A good ol’ classic should do.
When he makes it to the center of the stage, he clears out his throat and hope for the best.
“Hey folks, here’s a story ‘bout Minnie the Moocher~”
Everyone knew that song. Even the boys smiled from the nostalgia.
“She was a red-hot hoochie-coocher,
She was the roughest, toughest frail
But Minnie had a heart as big as a whale~
Hi dee hi dee hi dee ho!”
The guys join in.
(Hi dee hi dee hi dee ho!)
“Wooooooaaaah!”
(Wooooooaaaah!)
Even the devil couldn’t help but smile. Cuphead was trying to hold back a giggle himself.
Some customers came in and sat down near the stage when they heard the singing. Then band slowly join in with the singing.
King Dice decided to tease them with a little dance. Getting low and swaying this way and that, as he waves his arms as though they had a mind of their own. No one in the whole audience can take their eyes off of him.
The whole room starts hooting and hollering and whistling.
And loudest ones came from the devil. Dear Lort what did he do to deserve a guy like Dice? That vibrating baritone that you feel in your chest, and the way he hits those notes.That voice can bring angels to their feet.
Meanwhile, Cuphead just was in absolute awe. He never thought King Dice’s voice could be this good. It was just majestic, elegant, loud, proud it was…King Dice.Honestly a blush was forming.
King Dice felt nostalgic. A full house, the band swinging, the hoots and hollers littered throughout the show reminded of way back then.
He was a waiter at the Cotton Club where his dad worked and every night he would see his dad perform. Everyone loved him, they just couldn’t get enough of him. He being the lucky son of the star, got special privileges like going backstage and hanging out with the band and they even taught him how to play their instruments.
Everybody went on and on about how lucky he was to be his son. And how lucky he was. He would stay up after a long show to tuck him in, read him stories with that funny voice he used, and when he grew up, he would talk to him between breaks at work. He knew he loved him to bits.
And he loved his pop to bits too.
“Poor Min, Poor Min, Poor Min~” he bows as he wails out the last note.
The whole house stood up and erupted with applause. King Dice didn’t even see the house was really packed. They seem to really love him, and thoroughly enjoyed it.
The dice-head gets off the stage walks over to the table where the fellas are at and sees poor Cuphead flabbergasted, his mouth hanging and his eyes blown wide open.
Dice lifts a finger,“Close your mouth, you’re going to get flies in there~” and closes Cup’s mouth.
“Dicey! Why didn’t you tell me you had a voice of gold?” The devil patted Dice on the back.
Dice only smugly reply with “You never asked~.”
He was glad that the fellas liked his singing. He was…ecstatic even. He was…
“Dice?! What’s wrong?” Mugman notice tears welling up in King Dice’s eyes. Everyone at the table turned to look.
“Nothing, nothing just… being up on stage reminds me about my pops and it’s been a long while since I-”
A tear or two drops down and spots his suit up but he uses his handkerchief to wipe his face.
He sighs,“Since I last thought about him”.
Suddenly, he felt someone grabbing his leg.
He looked down to see Cuphead hugging his leg tightly.
Then Mugman on the other.
Then a hug from the side from the devil himself.
King Dice sigh, shakes his head then smiles a genuine smile.
‘These idiots are going to get my clothes all wrinkled’
His hugs them back just this once. He really needed it.
After the hug party was over, the Devil announces his plans.
“Ho ho ho We’re definitely having you perform from now on”
“Boss, I possibly can’t. I have to do too much work to do around here-”
“Your workload will be lighter. Hire as many employees you need.”
“Boss-”
“Dice! Nothing you can do will stop you from going up on that stage. The crowd loved you! And think about how many customers this will attract; business will go through the roof!”
That and he wants to hear Dice sing again but he won’t tell him that part.
“By golly you’d knock them dead out there!” Cuphead chipped in.
“You really think I was that good?” he asked the little cup.
“Good? You were tremendous! I gamble all my money to hear your voice again.” Cuphead said with enthusiasm. Mugman nodded in agreement with his brother.
He patted Cuphead on the head.
“Ya know that’s all the courage I need to do this. Thanks little cup.” He watches as Cuphead’s face grow red.
“Does that mean-” he said too excitedly “I mean… you’ll do it?” the horned demon asks.
“Of course~ Since I know you’re dying to hear my lovely voice again.”
Thank everything unholy that his fur cover up his blush.
~~
Later in the dressing room that evening, King Dice was preparing himself for tonight’s show.
Everything was ready to go. Everything was perfect. Everything was just fine. So why is he pacing back and forth around the room?
Normal stage fright? Sure but… it was never like this.
‘What if I hit a sour note?’ I haven’t sang in a long time. ‘What if the audience hates me? I’m not exactly a crowd favorite here…’ He peeked at the audience and saw that at least half the crowd were well known debtors. He can get through that but what he’s mostly worried about is…
‘What if I cry on stage?’
He barely has his head above the sea of doubt and the thoughts are like the monsters, hiding just beneath the surface ready to drag him down into the abyss.
His thoughts are interrupted by 6 knocks on the door. Must be the fuzzball himself with his signature knock.
“Heya Dicey! We came by to wish ya good luck.” the Devil greets.
“Who’s we?” Dice looks around.
Cuphead steps into view. He’s holding something behind his back.
“What ya got there little cup?” King Dice kneels down and asks curiously.
“A good luck charm” he said avoiding his eyes. He holds out a little red poker chip keychain.
King Dice picks it up and looks at it for awhile.
‘He doesn’t like it? Man I knew I should of got the-’
“Aww Cup, even though it’s an ugly color…”
‘You ungrateful little-’
“I love it. Thank You for thinking of me” he smiles and puts the keychain in his coat pocket.
Cuphead’s face was as red as his shorts. He rushes out with a quick “You’re welcome” and high tails out of there.
‘Gosh that cup is cute.’
The two remaining in the room just chuckle and move to sit down at the vanity.
“Dice, I know what happened to your pop.” the Devil said his voice sad. King Dice isn’t even surprised to to hear that, he expected that he knew everything.
“He was a great guy my pop. The best there ever was” he said with a heavy voice.
“You are too and don’t ever forget that.” the Devil pats his shoulder. He really appreciates that his boss cares about him.
“Aww boss, what made ya ever think that I didn’t know that?”
“Nothing. But I can’t have my right hand man running off stage now.”
“Oh? You thought that I would abandon my audience?” he puts a hand over his heart, offended.
“I bet that you’ll run off before halfway through the show.” The Devil said showing his signature smile.
“I bet that you’ll be in tears halfway through the show~” King Dice says right back.
“Whoever wins get the remote for a week~”
“Deal~”
After shaking hands, the Devil walks out of the dressing room, hoping that this is will be one bet that he does lose.
As soon as he closes the door King Dice heads right out to the stage.
He stops and tells the stagehand to bring the sax out and bring tissues for the audience.
He’s gonna make some people cry tonight.
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JOG BLOG MONOLOGUE
It was Monday, September 9th, 2019. I had exactly 19 days to train for what I estimated would be one of the most grueling physical challenges I had ever faced. I had donated to enter a 5k fundraiser run for St. Jude’s in honor and memory of my sweet cousin Abbi. There was no way I was going to be able to merely walk the course. Not when I was part of a team representing such a fighter. I decided to start running as often as I could, introducing my muscles gradually to the pain so I would be prepared. You should probably know, by “running” I mean floundering along until I gasp to a walk, clutching my stitched side, wondering Dear Lort, is this the day You take me home? By “prepared” I mean, so I would not pass out after barely making a mile, thus requiring me to feign a heart attack to avoid embarrassment. You see, I am not a runner. I do not enjoy this. I have ridiculously long, knobby colt legs – good for absolutely nothing. I can’t even keep up with my sister when she is on a Target mission. I employed the best motivation I knew how to acquire... inviting my military buddy to join me. Because I KNEW she would blow my meager efforts out of the water and, since I am sickly spurred by a lifetime of abject failure to find perfection, I resort to negative reinforcement. Shush. It works for me.
I had one more secret weapon, however. A weapon so delightfully sinister in nature that I’m not even sure I should share it with you. Because with this weapon in your hands, you could turn from a mere couch potato level nerd...to a semi-buff nerd who actually ventures outdoors. Fast forwarding to the current global crisis, I can see the need for new ways to achieve fitness goals in this scarred and slowly re-emerging post-apocalyptic landscape. Therefore, I will share with you this little gem I discovered with the help of a friend. I mentioned one day, the only way I would ever be spurred to run on purpose would be if I feared for my life and was trying to evade a horde of ravening zombies. He said, easy, they’ve got an app for that. I was incredulous in belief that such a thing, seemingly a figment of my vivid imagination, could exist. He screenshot it to me and thus, in a flurry of wonderment, my enduring relationship with Zombies, Run! began.
Developed by stroke of genius, this app combines fitness goals with collectible items, an engaging storyline, buildable interactive base and, best of all **drumroll please** ZOMBIE CHASES. Oh yes. You read correctly. Suddenly and without warning, a little blip will sound and a voice will intone the undead is near and it’s time to run for your life. It doesn’t matter how tired you are. It doesn’t matter if you’re about to cross a street. It doesn’t matter if there is a grandma pushing a stroller dead center in your path. When you hear that alarm, you RUN. I don’t want to brag... but in my 9 months of owning this app, I have NEVER been caught. I’m sure the day will come and you, my reluctant reader, will have to comfort me in the throes of that depression. All this to say, if I can do this, with no passion or real dedication to running, just for the fun of it – so can you! My children have joined me on various occasions, and I’ve inspired 2 friends so far to try this incredible app as well. I created this blog to showcase some of the most phenomenal local jaunts and hopefully get others to join me on this quest for health and wellness. Much to my chagrin, I will post my run stats at the end of each entry and hope my transparency will encourage others as they surpass my attempts. I will also encapsulate the beauty of the locales in which I run with photographs, as long as you don’t judge me for the blurry nature of those snapped hurriedly whilst evading the clutches of sheer terror. Welcome to my little world.
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also. i’m so ready to throw in the towel and deCLARE MYSELF A TRIPLE BIAS CAUSE JIMIN. jimin is so mean :( he won’t stop lurking and sneaking up on and attacking me. help me. i need help to resist him.
dealing with 1 jin and 1 tae is enough. i don’t need to add a jimin to the mix. dear lort. i would never survive.
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113 and 149!
113. What was your childhood nickname?
My high school nickname was actually Toni, and only my old high school friends still call me that, the couple times a year that I get to see them. It was actually a bit of a process, to arrive at that nickname. My name is Ashton, and at first, way back when, I was called Ashtonio by my friends for a while. Then that shortened to Tonio, and then finally to Toni, and Toni stuck.
149. Do you believe in ghosts?
Oh lort, do I ever. Idk if I’d call them ghosts, more spirits. I actually told the long, creepy ass experience I had at my old Philly apartment involving a spirit(s) back around Halloween, but will gladly tell it again. Settle in for a long ass story, if you care enough to read it :P *putting a keep reading bar bc this is a long one*
So I lived in a really old, big apartment with 2 roommates for 2 years (I moved out about a year and a half ago) and we all 3 are CONVINCED we had at least one ghost in our apartment. Like…so much weird shit happened. The first week we moved in, our gas stove turned on 3 mornings in a row…by itself. Like, we all woke up to the smell of gas in the apartment, and went out to find the one knob had been pushed in and turned over. And we would randomly lose stuff, and then it would pop up in the most random places (a candle, a dish towel, random papers).
My one roommate is a huge believer in spirits, I’m in the middle (I believe in them, but am not super connected to them like she is) and my other roommate was a huge skeptic. Well, by the end of the 2 years we all firmly believed in this ghost(s). We had all wooden floors in the apartment, and my believer roommate was the first one to tell us that when she was home alone, she would hear footsteps going up and down the long hallway we had that connected the bedrooms to the living room. And we were on the top floor, so it wasn’t anyone walking above us. And we didn’t share any walls with any neighbors, since the only other apartment on our floor was separated from our apartment by the staircase. She also said she heard my bedroom door shut the one day, but I, nor anyone else except her, was home. She also had a pitbull, who would randomly stare at the corner of the hallway and bark, as well as one time she stared at the top ceiling corner in my bedroom, which was the bedroom closest to the hallway, and barked (and this dog NEVER barked at anything; like, a burgler could’ve came in and she would’ve just sat there silently and watched). I was semi skeptical, but also believed her, so was cautious when I was home alone.
After the first couple months, I started hearing shit too. I would be home alone, with the dog and cat sleeping beside me on the couch, and would distinctly hear footsteps going down the hall. Once I even swore I heard the front door open, so I yelled to see which roommate had returned. When no one answered, I got up to look, and there was no one there. And the dog had also heard it and ran to look, thinking someone was home. When I texted both my roommates, neither one was anywhere near the apartment. It freaked me the hell out, because the footsteps especially happened fairly often when I was home alone, to the point where I almost became used to them, in a weird way. I think having the pets there really helped me from peeing my pants on the regular.
WELL, the scariest moment, for me, was during our first Christmas break in the apartment. We were all three grad students at the time, so were able to go home over break. I had come back first, 2 days after Christmas, and it was just me and my one cat at that point who were in the apartment. My believer roommate was coming back the next day, and the skeptic roommate wasn’t coming back for another week. It was late at night, and I was in my bedroom, in bed, derping around on my laptop, with my cat at the foot of the bed. And all of a sudden, I heard someone walking around in the living room, which was on the other side of the wall from my bedroom. Like, it legit sounded like a man pacing back and forth across the living room, shuffling papers (I’m getting chills just typing this). I froze, and looked at my cat, who had woken from a dead sleep, jumped off the bed, went to my doorway, and he was staring down the hallway at the living room all freaked out and puffed up. So I KNEW that he had heard it too. I legit was convinced that someone had broken into the apartment, and I grabbed my field hockey stick and phone, ready to dial 911.
I crept down the hall, but the noise had stopped. And when I finally was brave enough to jump around the corner into the living room…there was no one there. Both our front and back doors were still bolted, and we lived on the 4th floor, so no one had crawled in a window. I then stood in the middle of the living room and looked down at my cat like, “WTF just happened?” And at that moment, every single hair on my body stood up, and I just had this overwhelming sensation that I wasn’t alone in the room, and that someone/something was standing in the room, watching me. It sent so much fear through me that I literally sprinted down the hall to my bedroom, and my cat ran down the hall after me, as well. We went into the bedroom, I closed and bolted my door, turned off the lights, and crawled under the covers.
I then texted my believer roommate, and at that point I was legit crying, I was so scared, and told her what had happened. She had always told me that when I felt like there were spirits nearby, to say out loud, “There’s a white light surrounding me” and envision it, so that the spirits would stay away (her grandmother was like a shaman of sorts and all into spirit stuff, and had taught her that). So I laid there and repeated it over and over until I finally fell asleep. But dear god, that was the scariest thing ever.
My skeptic roommate thought both of us were crazy, and she firmly didn’t believe in the ghost…for about 8 months. She was always the one to say out loud, “I don’t believe in you” and she kinda taunted it/them, because she thought it/they were fake. Well…she got quite the experience. There was a day where I woke up late, around like 10am, and when I came out of my bedroom, she accosted me and asked if I had been awake around 7am and if I had gone into her bedroom. I was like wtf no, I was asleep. And our other roommate had been at her boyfriend’s for the night, so she wasn’t home. My roommate was so scared, she wouldn’t even tell me what had happened for almost an entire 24 hours. Finally, she admitted that she had gotten up really early to write a research paper for class. She said that around 7am she pushed her chair back from her desk (it was a wooden chair with no wheels) and went to the bathroom. She said when she came back, that the chair was turned exactly 180 degrees, facing away from the desk. She then ALSO told me that she had woken up in the middle of the night around like 2 or 3am, and wasn’t sure what had woken her, because usually she sleeps like the dead. She was laying there and said she distinctly heard a child’s laugh come from the middle of her bedroom. That, coupled with the chair turn the next morning, freaked her out so much, and since that day, she was switched into a believer about there being at least one ghost in the apartment.
However, all my experiences were with a spirit that seemed to be an adult male, not a child. I even had a friend who’s really in touch with spirits spend the night at our apartment, and she said she woke up in the middle of the night and swore she saw the shadow outline of a man standing in the living room doorway (that connected to the hallway) looking at her. And my roommate’s one friend, who also is into spirits, said that she kept seeing movement out of the corner of her eye in our apartment, and said it looked like a man. And both these people we NEVER told about us thinking we had a ghost, because we didn’t want to look crazy. And yet they both said they saw a man, and it was always around the living room/hallway area. I don’t know if it was a man spirit and also a child spirit (maybe the kid was the one stealing stuff and who turned on the stove when we moved in).
But also….something else weird, that I didn’t think about until after we had moved out….when we first had moved into this apartment, we cleaned the whole place, top to bottom. I was in charge of cleaning out the 2 huge hallway closets we had. The top shelf was super high, and I had to get a step ladder to reach it. Since I’m a bit OCD, I felt like I needed to clean even that top shelf, so I remember climbing up there and finding random trash and shit…and I also found an old black and white military picture of a young man…I remember showing it to my roommates and thinking that was a weird thing for someone to leave behind, and neither I nor my ex-roommates can remember what we did with that picture, even to this day. It might sound crazy, but part of me swears it’s the man whose spirit stuck around our apartment. But I could be wrong. It’s just weird to me that most of the experiences seemed to happen in the hallway that connected the living room to my bedroom, and that’s where the closet with the picture was.
Sorry long ass answer :P
Put a Number in my Ask
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I think that curse words collection thing is hilarious, still need some? I'd have plenty ones to offer in German and no one's cursing properly if not cursing in German my dear!
Lots of bad words for me in different languages under the cut!
Anonymous said:Curse words in Danish (Denmark) •Satans! -> well, it's what it sounds like :P Satan's •Pokkers også! -> Damnit! •Fjols/Idiot/Kvaj/Tumpe -> all means fool/Idiot •For Helvede da -> For Hells sake. •For fanden da -> For Satan's sake. •Lort! -> Shit! (It litterally means shit/poo) •Sådan noget bæ -> Some shit! •Kræftedme da også! -> when something is really really bad. It actually means Cancer(kræft)Eat(æde)Me(mig). But not even half of the danish people these days know that. I dislike this saying.
Anonymous said:I sent you some of these before but I think tumblr must have eaten my ask - here as some curse words as Gaeilge (in Irish): D'anam don diabhal (danam dun deeavall) - your soul to the devil. Cac (cack) - shit. Gabh trasna ort fhéin (gow trasna urt feyn) - go fuck yourself sideways. Snaidhm bundúin ort (snaiyim bundooin urt) - May your anus be knotted.
Anonymous said:If you want to get into the more fun Urdu swears we have gems like Bhadwe ki nasal= illegitimate son of a pimp (I know, detailed) Teri gaand main kutta mutre= a dog pees in your ass Toomaray tattay baraay pahraary heh= your balls are very heavy (I don't even know) And Apna lun cuti shur= I'll cut your dick off Don't worry- Urdu isn't this bad of a language generally, but it's insults are top notch :,)
Anonymous said:Urdu bad words, if they're not too late? Pagal=crazy or stupid Behnchot= sister fucker Bhaichode= brother fucker Kutti= bitch Beghairat= someone with no shame Charsi/chusra= druggie Tharki= pervert Gaddha= donkey Lola/ghandoo= dick Eik dolla rande= 1 dollar whore Pancho= fuck Choti se luli= tiny dick I feel so bad writing these sorry mom... I hoped they helped :))?
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