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onewfantaesy · 3 years

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His Mother’s Son (2/4)

“Oh, Jaehyun.”

She pulls the boy into a tight embrace, and suddenly it all hits Taemin what’s going on and why it’s going on and he feel like he can’t breathe again when the tears start flowing down his cheeks.

“You’re finally home.”

The desperation in her voice makes Taemin feel even worse, because this doesn’t feel like home to him.

Everyone’s house has a certain smell but your own. Your own home doesn’t smell like anything, but this house has a particular scent, and it lets Taemin know that this isn’t home. It’s not that it smells bad, it just smells different. Like cooking, and air freshener, and, for lack of a better word, boys. This house definitely has a lot of boys living in it; kind of like the way the dorm smells when the house cleaner doesn’t come for a few days.

Everything happens so fast that the next thing he knows, his bags are by the front door and this woman is leading him down the hall to meet the rest of his family.

“Um, can I ask you a question?” Taemin’s voice is so soft he barely hears it.

“Of course, sweetie,” she says, and she smiles at him in a way that makes Taemin nervous.

“When’s my birthday?”

He feels himself biting his lip, and he can almost hear his manager’s nagging voice telling him to stop.

“June 23rd. You were born in 1994,” she tells him, looking at him with a worried expression. “What did you think it was?”

Taemin feels like his chest is collapsing and he struggles to take in a breath, “July 18, 1993.”

“Well, I hate to break it to you, but you’re fourteen, not fifteen.”

She smiles at him sadly, and he sees the four males in the living room staring at him as he enters with the woman.

“Oh,” is all he can say, because he’s suddenly too nervous to make any other sound with the way these guys are staring at him.

“Jaehyun, say hello to your father and your brothers,” she says, and she’s smiling at him again, and it’s making Taemin’s stomach do somersaults.

“Uh - hi.” He raises his hand in a small wave, trying to smile at his family but being too frightened to really move.

“He looks like a girl,” one of them says, and Taemin’s eyes narrow.

“Shut up, idiot,” the tallest hisses, and the third boy just shakes his head and puts it in his hand.

“Jaehyun, these are your brothers, Jaeyoung, Jaekwon, and Jaesung,” the woman points at each of them, and he realizes she went from oldest to youngest. “And this is your father.”

“Jaehyun.”

The man is staring at him like he can’t believe he’s real, and he moves to get out of his seat. He crouches down in front of Taemin, holding his face in his hands. They stare at each other for a long moment before his father pulls him into a tight hug.

The rest of the day passes with Taemin putting his things in his room, which he learns he’ll be sharing with the oldest, Jaeyoung. Jaekwon and Jaesung had already been sharing a room, and decided instead of moving everything around they would just put Taemin with the oldest. He was relieved to find out that his brother didn’t mind sharing his space with him.

“Are you okay with sharing a room?” Jaeyoung asks him when they’re sitting in their room after everyone’s gone to bed.

Taemin laughs a little, “I’ve been sleeping in the same room as four other boys for like a year now, so it’s a step up to only have to share with one. I’d rather share one anyway than be by myself, really.”

“Why’s that?” Jaeyoung chuckles at the youngest’s response.

Taemin bit his lip, unsure of whether or not his family was okay with him talking about his life with his fake family, “I shared a room with Taesun my whole life. I don’t even know if I’d be able to sleep in a room by myself.”

Taemin stares at the floor while the oldest looks at him, and he’s afraid he’s upset his oldest brother with the confession.

“Well, then I’m sure we’ll get along fine, if you’re not some spoiled little idol.” Taemin’s head shoots up when he hears his brother respond in a joking manner.

“Can I ask you a question?” Taemin asks, and he holds his pillow in front of him.

“Shoot, kid.” Jaeyoung smiles.

“How old are you and the others?” Taemin realizes that he never really found out how old his brothers are.

“Jaesung’s 15, Jaekwon’s 17, and I’m 18. I go to the university close by, so I live here.” Jaeyoung smiles at him, laughing a little.

The two talked for a little while longer before they decided to go to bed. Taemin dreamed about Taesun, the Lees, and interrogation rooms.

A week passes, and in that time, Taemin realized a few things. First, he learned that Jaesung is pissed about his little brother being in the same grade as him. Second, Jaekwon feels like he’s superior to almost everyone because of his muscles. Third, she doesn’t like him being out of her sight for longer than ten minutes. Fourth, no one seemed to be telling him anything about what would happen with SHINee.

Finally, he realized that the only one who let him talk about his life with the Lees without yelling at him was Jaeyoung.

Taemin doesn’t like his new life very much. When she caught him practicing his SHINee dance steps, she yelled at him about acting too girly and how he needs to spend more time with his brothers and father. Jaesung laughed the whole time, and Taemin wanted to punch him the face.

Maybe she would think that was manly enough.

Her next outburst happened exactly a week after Taemin was reunited with his family. The family likes watching television together after dinner, and that day they were watching the news. After the report on some local robbery, a very familiar face appeared on the screen.

“It’s been reported that upcoming idol group SHINee has been shaken by a recent events concerning the youngest member, Lee Taemin,” the news anchor reports.

“Change the channel,” she says quickly, looking at her husband.

“No, leave it.” Taemin’s eyes are glued to the screen, curious about whether or not he would get to see his members.

“In fact, his name isn’t Lee Taemin at all.” The scene changes from the anchor man to pictures of Taemin, and he felt like the world was spinning.

“Sources report that young Taemin is the victim of kidnapping, a case that went unsolved over a decade ago. A toddler went missing from a park twelve years ago, and no one ever knew what happened. Similarly, a four year old boy went missing from the same park a year earlier, and both cases went cold before either family had any form of closure.” Pictures of Taemin and Taesun from when they were little appeared on the screen, and Taemin felt like he was going to be sick.

“With the recent debut of idol group SHINee, the family of the toddler recognized a face on the posters and commercials the rookies have been in, and informed police that they believed the youngest member to be their long lost son.” A scene of Taemin in one of their latest commercials played for a moment, and from the corner of his eye he saw her put her hand to her mouth.

“Sources say that the boys were informed last week of the felony their supposed parents committed when they were young children, and this clip shows the reaction of SHINee member, Taemin.” The screen faded, and Taemin saw himself coming out of the police station, his manager holding him.

“This is a joke!” he yelled, tears streaming down his cheeks, “Where are my parents? Where’s my brother? My parents didn’t kidnap me, you’re wrong!”

“Jaehyun, calm down.” Taemin glared at the recording of Officer Shin.

“My name is not Jaehyun!”

And with that final line, he hears her let out a sob and leave to the other room.

“Mom,” Jaeyoung gets up to go console his mother, his father following behind him.

“Way to go, you little creep!” Jaesung pushes him, and Taemin catches himself before his head rams into the coffee table.

“None of this would be happening if you hadn’t been kidnapped!” Jaesung’s continuously pushing him, yelling at him, and telling him it’s his fault he was kidnapped and their mother is crying, “If you hadn’t gone off on your own; if you had stayed with us, none of this would be happening!”

“SM Entertainment has stated that they have been trying to contact the boy’s parents to determine whether or not he will be returning to SHINee.” With that, the segment was over, and Jaesung was still yelling at him while Jaekwon had left to go to the other room with the other three.

“You won’t be going back to SHINee.” He hears the woman say, and both boys turn to the door.

“What?” Taemin can hardly believe this is happening.

“You heard me, Jaehyun. No more SHINee.” She shakes her head, her eyes full of anger.

“But, but I trained for years to be in SHINee,” Taemin says quietly, and he feels like he’s going to start crying again.

“No, Lee Taemin trained for years to be in SHINee. Kim Jaehyun did not,” she says.

“They’re the same person,” Taemin tries to reason with her, his voice cracking.

“No they are not!” she yells at him, and Taemin flinches back, his spine digging painfully into the coffee table.

“You will not be going back to SHINee, and you will not go by the horrible name!” she yells at him again, and Taemin feels the pressure building up behind his eyes.

“Idiot.” Jaesung pushes him again before Taemin’s getting up and running into the backyard.

He climbs into the tree house he found the second day he was here, and he sits in the furthest corner with his knees to his chest and his arms wrapped around them. His whole world is falling apart, and he wants to stay in here and die because there’s no way this can be real, and maybe if he dies he’ll wake up back at the dorm.

As he’s wallowing in self-pity, another person is climbing up the ladder and sitting on the other side of the tree house.

“The boys haven’t used this in years.”

Taemin jumps when he hears the man speak, and he moves his head to look at the man.

“I know that she can be a little over bearing, but you have to understand where she’s coming from,” he tells him softly. “If you want her to change her mind, you just have to wait a little bit and then ask her.”

“SHINee is part of me, though. I feel…incomplete, without them,” Taemin tells him, and he hopes the man doesn’t grow angry with him.

“What is it about being in SHINee that makes you so happy?” he asks, curious.

Taemin looks down at the wooden planks he’s sitting on, “Well, you know how you always have to be walking? Well, for me, it’s like I always have to be dancing. I love it; I don’t know what I would do if I couldn’t dance.”

“That’s why you get so upset when she tells you to stop dancing,” the man mumbles more to himself than to his son. “My son is sitting right across from me and I feel like I know nothing about him; his favorite food, his favorite subject in school, his favorite color.”

“Steak is my favorite food, I really like going to my world literature class, and my favorite color is white,” Taemin tells him, and the man smiles at him.

They talk for a while, telling each other their likes and dislikes, and the man finally asks him about his siblings.

“Jaesung hyung gets really mad at me, sometimes I don’t even know why. Jaekwon hyung seems like he doesn’t care at all, and the only time he really talks to me is to tell me to stop being so girly; he’s like her when it comes to that kinda thing.”

“What about Jaeyoung?” He asks.

“Jaeyoung’s kinda my favorite, but maybe it’s ‘cus we share a room, I don’t know. He lets me talk about whatever I want, too,” Taemin admits, biting his lip.

“What kind of things do you talk about?”

His father scoots closer to him, looking at Taemin worriedly.

“He lets me talk about Taesun, and the Lees,” Taemin says quietly. “I know it makes her upset.”

“Why don’t you tell me about them?” his father suggests, and Taemin looks at him cautiously.

“They treated us like we were really their sons. We never knew. So you don’t have to worry about them treating us badly, because they really were great parents.”

Taemin swallows hard, afraid he’s upset his father.

“And I’m glad they treated you well, I really am,” the man tells him, and Taemin can tell he’s sincere.

“I really miss Taesun,” Taemin admits, and the man either didn’t hear him or ignores him.

They talk for a little longer before he decides to go back inside, “The boys don’t come up here anymore, so you can stay in here as long as you want, okay?”

“Thanks.” Taemin watches him go back down before he lies down on his side, his back against the wall of the tree house.

He thinks to himself for a few minutes before he hears someone else coming up again. He looks over to see Jaeyoung lying down across from him.

“He said you guys don’t come up here anymore,” Taemin mumbles, burying his face in his arms.

“We don’t, but I just wanted to make sure you’re okay,” Jaeyoung mumbles back at him, mimicking him to try and make him feel better.

“I’m not okay,” Taemin tells him, moving so he’s looking at his brother with one eye.

“Tell me what’s wrong, kid,” Jaeyoung says.

“I can’t live without SHINee. I need to be in SHINee. I don’t care if mom thinks that Lee Taemin and Kim Jaehyun are not the same person, because no matter what my name is, I trained hard to be part of SHINee. And I miss my brother and I don’t care if he’s not really my brother because I shared a room and a life with him for my entire life and I had separation anxiety when I moved into the dorm and I miss him and they’re not letting me call him or anything and they’re pretending like he doesn’t exist.” The tears are pouring down his face again, and Taemin feels like all he’s done the last week is cry.

“Hey, hey, hey.” Jaeyoung moves over to him, pulling him to sit up and hug him, “Let me talk to mom, I’ll talk her into letting you join SHINee again. She’s just afraid of losing you again.”

“What about Taesun?” Taemin chokes out, afraid that he’ll never see his brother again.

“I’ll figure something out, don’t you worry about it.” Jaeyoung runs his fingers through Taemin’s hair, and Taemin feels sick.

“Jaesung said it’s my fault,” Taemin says quietly, resting his head on Jaeyoung’s chest.

“What’s your fault?” he asks.

“He said it’s my fault I was kidnapped. That it’s my fault she doesn’t let us out of her sight for very long and why she cries and that if I hadn’t been kidnapped none of this would be happening,” Taemin chokes out, the guilt strangling him.

“None of this is your fault,” Jaeyoung tells him, holding onto him tighter.

“Then why does it feel like it?” Taemin asks him.

“You tell me,” Jaeyougn says, silently saying that Taemin can tell him what’s wrong.

“I - I don’t think of myself as Jaehyun,” Taemin tells him, “I still think of myself as Taemin. I’m not used to Jaehyun, I don’t think I’m Jaehyun. It’s - it’s just that - I don’t know.”

“It’s completely understandable,” Jaeyoung tells him, consoling him.

“And, and oh God, I’m not even how old I thought I was. I’m younger than Jongin, oh my God I’m younger than Jongin, he’s been calling me hyung forever and now he’s the hyung and oh my God.” Taemin feels like he’s shaking, and he’s confused and scared and upset.

“And I know you all think that they were monsters but they were my parents, and they aren’t bad people, and I still can’t believe that this is even happening,” Taemin cries while his brother holds onto him, and he suddenly wants to see Taesun so bad that it hurts, and he can feel himself having a panic attack, just like when he first moved into the dorm.

“Jaehyun? Jaehyun! Taemin! Oh my God, Taemin, calm down,” Jaeyoung tries to help Taemin breathe easier, but the youngest keeps taking in these quick, shallow breaths and he’s crying.

“This isn’t happening, please this can’t be happening,” Taemin sobs out, and he can barely catch his breath.

They let him call Taesun that night.

Except his name isn’t Taesun anymore, it’s Hyunki.

“Hyung, we both have ‘hyun’ in our names,” Taemin tells him, and he hears Taesun give a watery laugh.

“To be honest, I don’t really think of myself as Hyunki,” Taesun says.

“I don’t really think of myself as Jaehyun, either,” Taemin admits, and the two laugh. “What are they like?”

“I’m the youngest, now. It’s weird,” Taesun tells him.

“I’m still the youngest. But you’ll still be my hyung, right?” Taemin asks.

“I’ll always be your hyung, Minnie,” Taesun says sadly.

“I miss you,” Taemin says, biting his lip.

“I miss you, too.”

“It happened again,” Taemin tells his brother.

“Again? I thought you got over it, Minnie.”

He can tell Taesun is worried just by the sound of his voice.

“This is different, hyung. This is completely different.” Taemin feels himself start to panic again. “Did you know?”

“No, I didn’t. I had no idea,” Taesun says, his voice shaking.

“What are your siblings like?” Taemin asks, curious.

“I have a brother and a sister. My brother’s 20, and my sister’s 22. They’re alright, but they’re not you,” Taesun informs him. “What about yours?”

“I have three brothers.” Taemin says, “Jaesung’s 15, Jaekwon’s 17, and Jaeyoung’s 18. I share a room with Jaeyoung; he’s been really cool. But - but he’s not like you; kinda the same way Jinki hyung wasn’t like you, either.”

“Just hang in there; it’ll get better.” Taesun pauses for a moment. “You’re 14, huh? I almost forgot.”

Taesun laughs humorlessly. It still scares Taemin a little that they changed his birthday.

“When can I see you again?” Taemin asks.

“I don’t know, Minnie. I don’t know.” Taesun sighs. “I have to go, Minnie. We’ll talk tomorrow, though, okay?”

“Okay. I love you, hyung,” Taemin says quietly, because he knows most of his family is probably listening in on his conversation.

“I love you, too, Minnie. Get some sleep tonight, okay?” Taemin can tell Taesun is smiling.

“Okay. Bye.”

And the two hang up. Taemin flops over on his bed, and he looks to his nightstand to the picture he has of him and Taesun. It was taken a couple months ago, and Taemin picks it up and brings it close to his chest.

That night, he takes the old teddy bear out from one of his bags. It helps him sleep.

#taemin #shinee #his mothers son au #reminder that i wrote this in 2014!! just reposting it from aff lmao #don't judge me too hard

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