#don't get me started on fatphobia that's a whole other rant

[hesawifebeaterdanusethegun]

Okay I'm bored and I've been thinking about this for a while (like years honestly) and I just wanna talk about fatphobia for a second and the belief that being fat is always a choice, or even usually a choice.

I'm gonna start by saying that I pretty much like myself (a lot more than I did when I was young) and the way I look. My partner and others find me attractive, even if I find that hard to believe when it happens.

Anyway, on to the whole point of this post. Fatness being a choice. For me, it is not a choice, and the only time I haven't been overweight was a period of about 2 years when I was absolutely riddled with unreasonable anxiety over my weight and my health (I was very unwell at the time, and if that's what has to happen for me to be skinny and "acceptable" then I don't want it, I'll keep my chub thanks.

Now for the reason I'm just naturally a fat person and there isn't much I can do about it. It all comes down to literal chemical imbalances in my brain. My brain does not make the happy chemicals the way your (neurotypical) brain does. I don't get rushes of dopamine and seratonin the way a healthy brain does. But do you know what does give me that satisfaction? Cooking and food. The only things I have found to consistently help me get a fix of those happy chemicals. Imagine not being able to feel satisfied or accomplished no matter what you do but when you have a fucking candy bar you can feel better. Wouldn't you just eat the candy bar to get that little bit of relief? I think you would, most people would. And I do. I have OCD, ADHD, treatment resistant major depression, panic disorder, and PTSD. So if I feel like having a god damn piece of pizza or a bowl of ice cream for some relief from the hell that is my mind sometimes then I fucking will and you shouldn't fucking judge me for it.

So maybe try some goddamn empathy next time you have a knee-jerk reaction to seeing a fat person and automatically judge them as lazy or weak willed or whatever terms you use to make yourself feel somehow superior to them based on what you eat or how much you weigh.

Okay rant over. If you read this far thank you.

#personal rant #fatphobia #i'm so tired of it guys #like mind your fucking business #and i'll mind mine #don't worry about what i do with my life or what i put into my body

[zorosroronoas]

LONG RANT AHEAD (sorry)

lol I'm glad you mentioned Sanji because he's my biggest problem with the manga. Sanji is only amazing in the LA.

I'm on the Wano arc right now and the dude just used the invisibility suit to spy on Nami and Robin naked and had the most dramatic reaction to Shinobu being a kunoichi who dares not to be a thin young girl with big breasts (and he did the same with Kokoro before the time skip... not saying I wanted a 19-year-old to be attracted to somebody's grandmother, but the way she "didn't count" as a mermaid because of her age and body type was gross).

I don't even want to talk about Alvida, or how Big Mom, the only major female villain in the series, is drawn as a grotesque fat woman who's obsessed with food.

Oda can draw Senor Pink, a fat man who dresses like a baby, as someone with women thirsting over him, but he can't have a cute fat girl in the story who is found attractive by Sanji? (but hey, at least Sanji has shown how open-minded he is by liking girls with 3 eyes and fishtails).

If the only women you think deserve to be seen as attractive are girls in their 20s with zero belly fat and a big rack, then you have a limited mindset (and it doesn't help that he also draws underage girls like Pudding, Rebecca, and Shirahoshi like that too). I haven't gotten there yet, but I saw that Shinobu goes back to being young and thin and Sanji praises her "glow up" and I'm just... what fat woman hurt Oda? As a fat woman, am I not allowed to be mad at fatphobia? But if I point these things out, suddenly I'm a weirdo who is "jealous" (sure, I'm jealous of a drawing made by a pervert who is friends with sex offenders. Give me a break, fandom).

Fishman Island has been my least favorite arc so far because of how insufferable Sanji behaved. And let's not even get started on all the creepy and weird things he did in other arcs like Thriller Bark, Punk Hazard, and the list goes on and on because OH MY GOD *Jesse Pinkman voice* HE CAN'T KEEP GETTING AWAY WITH IT!

Rebecca is a gladiator girl who's been victimized her whole life, but Oda has her wear a bikini top and a thong the entire time and makes creepy comments in his q&a about how this underage character he wrote might end up naked. Sometimes I got confused because Robin, Hancock, and Tashigi look too much alike. And speaking of Tashigi, she is the definition of "go on girl, give us nothing" because she literally does nothing. She's always losing and being ridiculed, and of course Smoker opened up her shirt when they switched bodies to expose her titties, because what teenage boy doesn't want to see that? (nevermind that any teenage boy that started reading this in the 90s would be a grown-ass man right now, and Oda ignores his Japanese female fanbase when they criticize the way he draws women. It's not just Western women who are not okay with this).

Robin should be on the same level as Luffy, Zoro, and Sanji and have the Haki because she's a Devil Fruits user with an incredible power, and yet her character hasn't done much since Enies Lobby.

Momonosuke is an EIGHT YEAR OLD BOY and Oda wrote him as a pervert who likes to grope Nami. And the stuff with Brook is terrible too, but Brook has nowhere near the same amount of page-time as Sanji does, so of course I'm going to complain about Sanji more. And no one in the fandom is trying to brainwash me that Brook is a feminist ally like they do with Sanji lol

I love OP and it has so many emotional moments where I cried reading (Chopper's and pretty much every Straw Hat's backstory, Usopp leaving the crew, Robin wanting to live, Luffy declaring war on the government to save Robin, Luffy fighting like hell to save Ace, Mr. 2 sacrificing himself so Luffy and the other pirates can escape Marineford, Law and Corazon's backstory, the list goes on), but JFC, I can't just sit by and pretend that it's a flawless story and say nothing negative about it because there's plenty of negative stuff on it.

I don't understand why this fandom is like this, but I guess I can't be a "true fan" of OP if I'm not kissing Oda's ass and acting like this millionaire is the ultimate master of storytelling.

It's not okay to teach boys to disrespect women, it's not okay to make fun of fat women, and it's not okay to add transphobic jokes (I didn't even touch on that but you know what I mean). I don't know why people want to shut down that criticism.

I love One Piece. I care about it. I understand that you can't spend all day focusing on the negative. But this story is hardly ever criticized, anyway. It's not an underdog manga. It's one of the most popular franchises in the world.

I apologize that this got so long. -OPLA anon

omg, pls don't apologize, you are so right on literally EVERYTHING.

i've written a minor rant about sanji when i was reading the manga, but my opinion of him has only gotten worse. like you said he is absolutely insufferable & only gets worse with time. what is worse is that his bullshit & misogyny is portrayed as 'charming', it drive me insane. oda tries so hard to continuously push the 'sanji is such a goodhearted & kind boy' & i'm just... really? except if you're an 'ugly' woman i guess.

to each their own, but it also grinds my gears how queer &/or transfem sanji is such a huge headcanon in the fandom. like... sanji... the biggest queerphobe in one piece. give me a fucking break. in general fandom loves sanji way too much considering what he actually is like as a character.

i thank the lord everyday for opla!sanji tbh, he's a godsend & i can't believe i've seen ppl complain about him being 'overcorrected'.

i've said this before, but it's utterly ridiculous how nami & robin (not to mention the other women in op) haven't had a major role or win in several arcs. they're constantly fighting the runt of the litter.

don't get me started on tashigi & punk hazard. it still drives me nuts that oda had zoro hold back on fighting monet bc she was a woman. it goes completely against the point of zoro's backstory. & then tashigi, who's supposed to be an echo of kuina, literally is never able to do shit?? like?? what's the point, oda? that women can't be good fighters after all?

speaking on punk hazard, sanji's entire behavior while he's in nami's body is abhorrent.

both momonosuke being a perv as well as his dad, oden, going to brothels since he was like six or some shit is so goddamn disgusting, like.... again what's the point??

brook is also an issue but i think fandom mostly ignores his existence & admittedly i do too.

& boy howdy, the fatphobia is truly rampant. you have every right to be upset & criticize it. i sincerely hope they keep alvida as a fat woman & skip the whole 'getting pretty & thin' bs altogether in opla. i was watching reactions to opla a while back & to see ppl going like 'does she have the devil fruit powers yet? oh no, she's not thin.' during her last scene in 1.08, like that shit is totally normal & not problematic as hell is just.... wow. they really expect that crap to happen & have no problem with it.

on the subject of shinobu, it really just goes to illustrate what i said, which is that oda never really changes. he still treats fat women like shit decades later & that's a major issue. he hasn't learned or bettered himself at all.

i think it is always fair to criticize the media one enjoys, particularly on things that are actually harmful. i find it necessary even.

nobody is saying that it's not okay to like one piece or that you're a bad person for it, but it is important to look at it critically for god's sake.

sorry if i missed anything, but like i said i agree with you on everything & more, so don't ever worry about ranting at me, i'm more than open to it lmao.

#answered #opla anon <3 #long post

[dandelioncasey]

So this little rant/vent/whatever was inspired by a great post by @scientia-rex which I will link below

It gave me a lot of thoughts but due to the topic I didn't feel right putting them in the comments or tags, so they're going here under the cut

TW FOR EATING DISORDER, EATING DISORDER RECOVERY, FATPHOBIA, MEDICAL BULLSHIT, AND ANYTHING ELSE YOU CAN THINK OF THAT GOES ALONG WITH THAT

Between the summer of 2021 and the spring of 2022 I dropped from 23st to just above 17st. For those who don't feel up to converting numbers right now, that's a loss of around 38 kilos.

I did this after endless comments from my doctor and my mother and people around me that my weight was unhealthy and that I needed to be skinnier. Essentially, all I heard from everyone was that Fat Is Bad and it was a Problem. I internalised a lot of those messages and I was determined to 'fix' it.

I was also determined to 'not be like those other people' who develop unhealthy habits...yeah, that didn't happen. I won't go into incredible detail, but I was working out for an hour or two of intense calorie burning exercise every single day, and I was tracking every single thing I ate on a spreadsheet which measured the fat, the sugar, the salt, anything you can find on a nutrition label.

I don't remember much of how it started but I believe the thought process was that I couldn't under or overeat if I was tracking what I ate and planned it all out. I even told my doctor I was exercising more and planning my meals in advance (although not quite the extent to which I was doing it) and he was thrilled, because my weight was, and to some extent still is, the first and only thing medical professionals see about me.

In case it isn't clear, I was never diagnosed with anorexia or bulimia or BED, but I very much still had an eating disorder. If my doctor had asked more questions, if my mother hadn't pushed me so hard, maybe things would be different...but that's not what happened.

By the early spring of 2022 I had already lost five stone...I had also lost most of my enjoyment in food, quite a lot of my motivation, and any desire to carry on. I was exhausted and dizzy all of the time. I couldn't concentrate, I was sick all the time... essentially, I had most of the symptoms of malnutrition.

Every time my family would get a 'treat day', for my birthday, for Christmas, whatever the occasion was, I planned into my spreadsheet how many meals I would need to skip to make up for the unexpected calories I was taking in, and the breaks from my workout that I was taking as it got more and more difficult to carry on.

Just because I was writing it all down doesn't mean that I was being healthy, and just because my doctor approved (from what he knew of it) doesn't mean I should have carried on. I looked at the numbers on the scale and I was proud of myself, but my body was eating itself alive because at the worst of it I was consuming not even 1/5 of what I was burning in a day.

By the end of spring last year, my sister sat me down for a reality check. She'd been away for a while and she'd come home to find me sitting on the kitchen floor crying, because my mother had bought herself a cake for her birthday and the smell of it was making me ill.

I won't elaborate on what we discussed, but the upshot ofnthe whole thing is I stopped (or at least tried to stop) being so restrictive of everything - I let myself have days off and tried to not feel guilty, I ate when I was hungry and not when the alarm went off to tell me to defrost and reheat my turkey wholewheat pasta with no sauce or cheese. And I absolutely hated myself for it.

Don't get me wrong, looking back I can see that that was a very dangerous way to try and lose weight, but I had internalised the words of the people around me so much that I hated every single part of my body, every movement, every shift or wobble or jiggle that I saw in the mirror - because Fat Is Bad.

I haven't weighed myself since last summer, when I looked at the scales and burst into tears because the number had gone back up. My doctors have to record my weight because of the medication I take but I refuse to look because I don't want to know anymore.

Despite my best efforts, sometimes I still compulsively check the nutrition of the foods I buy, even down to a jar of curry sauce or a premixed salad. I have to get other people to order for me when we get treat days, because I can't eat if I look at the calorie information on the menus. And I still feel compelled to 'make up' for workouts that I skip by doing double the next day.

I don't really know what the point of this was, I just needed to get it out I guess, because that post brought up a LOT of feelings that I needed to let out. If you're still reading, thank you I guess?? But please don't take anything in this post as being advice - I cannot stress enough that I could have died if my sister didn't give me that reality check and I will be dealing with this for probably years if not the rest of my life.

#personal #casey vents #tw eating disorder #eating disorder mention #tw fatphobia #fatphobia mention #tw medical #medical stuff #weight loss #tw weight loss #weight loss mention #if you are pro ED dni I'm serious #you will be blocked on sight #also if you are any kind of thinspo or whatever it's called now kindly leave this post and my blog #if I've missed anything PLEASE let me know

[nyanggk]

thank you for your response, but i do not appreciate the shameless gaslighting throughout your entire reply lmfao. i completely understand not replying right away but don't use the "i'm tired" excuse to justify an immature response because you could've just waited until you were clear-headed. maybe you should get some more rest because it's obvious you did not understand what i pointed out as proven by your childish answers.

i'll start with what you mentioned about dark humor because i want to emphasize that misogyny is NOT dark humor in any circumstance. you told me to go look up the definition of misogyny but the point i was making was that y/n was treating the girls way worse and it dragged on for the entirety of the fic. the guy's antics, like jake cheating, was passed off as a joke in the beginning, but the girls were treated ruthlessly which i found pretty misogynistic. i'm not sure how you can overlook that when multiple people have said the same thing in your comments/reblogs as well.

if you want dark humor to deliver then you need to know your audience. i'm sure you didn't actually think a (mostly) female audience would appreciate misogyny passed off as "dark humor"?? plus you said in your author's note that you didn't intend for it to be misogynistic, so why are you switching up now and saying it was supposed to be dark humor?

there is a line between what's considered dark humor and what's considered flat-out offensive. making fun of weight and dragging down other girls is not dark humor, it's just plain bullying. "dark humor" is supposed to be funny and i didn't laugh one time because the whole portrayal was just uncomfortable. y/n is not the bad bitch you intended to write, she's just an asshole. i get you want to make "flawed" characters but throughout the story you are promoting a "romantic" development between y/n and jay without any sort of character development or growth.

the issue is your clear romanticization of topic behaviors in this fic. i know you didn't intend to do so because this sudden switch up from your author's note is confusing, so idk why it's so hard for you to admit that your fic is romanticizing a toxic relationship. not just that but brushing off misogyny as "badass."

i also don't appreciate how you brushed off the fatphobia towards liz by saying "idrk anything abt that nor do i care abt it" like? you have the audacity to say you don't care about the fatphobia she faces but you bias her too? and turning it on me and saying it's my mindset is just awful and wrong. if you don't care enough to look up what people say about liz then that's fine, but don't turn this on me because i called you out on how inappropriate the fatphobic comments were in your fic.

good for you and your boyfriend, but this really isn't about your actual relationship. you wrote this fic without any warnings about dubcon and misogyny and expect people to be "wiser" about the content of your fic? it's not a matter of fiction vs reality. you think that just because it's fiction it can't harm anyone, but it unconsciously teaches people things that shouldn't be taught. i mean, it's pretty obvious it affects you too since you called yourself a vengeful person much like you said y/n is. so is it safe for me to assume that y/n is based off of you? you said it in a recent comment on the fic too: "oof wait who did i describe as pale 💀 if it was yn then i was just probably thinking of myself/my own appearance so yuh" (this is verbatim by the way)

thank you for choosing to answer instead of deleting my previous ask lmfao idk if you expected me to thank you or something but addressing controversy is the bare minimum.

hey again, so firstly no I'm not expecting you to thank me nor do I care if u do bcs I legitimately don't. I'm saying that I could've legit deleted your ask and went on with my day while you rant to your own blog abt how some author refused to give light abt an issue/an ask u sent bcs you ppl are like that (if you are like that) hiding behind your anonymous asks bcs you're scared your moots might see u in a different light or that I might come at you (which I won't bcs like I said, I don't care abt you)

so to actually start off, I'm not trying to justify what I said as "Oh im tired. it's too early for this. lemme just reply to this now to get it over with." I actually meant all of that. and also, whether you admit it or not, the longer I take to answer this ask affects your view on me— whether you think of me as trying to run away from the "issue" or just me plainly ignoring you, I know you're just getting antsy for a response. which by the way, you could've sent in my dms but obv no, you can't do that because it'll expose your identity right? im not gaslighting you, I'm flatly telling you what I mean. if you call the humour or the "lol"s that I put in there gaslighting, then that's just me not taking you seriously bcs once again, I don't care.

misogyny is funny to me in the way I wrote it (even thought it wasn't just discrimination towards women) and how can u say that it isn't when people have actually laughed at the shit I wrote? and yes I have proof, it was from the people who actually bothered to read everything and send in a commentary, telling me what they think of every line / scene. and maybe yn hated the girls a lot more bcs there was a bitch tormenting her???? the hate she had for the female population at the start was just there (same as for the boys) because thats how she viewed them and she disliked them. the only reason it dragged on til the end (for the girls' part) was bcs of yujin. did yn mention any other girl she hated besides her and her little "minions" who were just mentioned once? no. she hated them but like what was written there, she mostly wouldn't care abt what yujin would say except for when liz gets angry, that's when she would cheer her on or when she went too far. now, can u name any other girl yn said she hated? no bcs there was only yujin. the part where Jay went into the art room and was basically crowded by other people, yn said she was angry or getting jealous bcs they were touching him, right?

her hate wasn't just some baseless grudge towards a (1) gender bcs why would she be jealous of guys crowding jay when he's straight (in this fic im not saying irl). yes, she was immature in feeling that bcs once again, him and yn weren't a thing and both that angered her, mixed with the denial she feels towards Jay. was there a reason for me to put the other boys there? no bcs yn already has this "rival" figure so why would I bother adding a guy.

yes I brushed it off because I simply don't care what other people think of her. "if that's what u think I don't care" is me generalising all of you (possibly also u idk) who think that's she's fat. I told u I don't care bcs I like how she looks and have no care in what other people say bcs once again, I don't care abt their opinions bcs what matters to me is my own unbiased opinion.

I'm not switching it up to dark humour bcs it alrdy was???? i said it wasn't meant to be misogynistic bcs it wasn't??? wdym "You said it wasn't misogynistic so you're switching it do dark humour" it wasn't misogynistic in the first place. it's meant to fuck with both genders. a (gay) guy have also sent me feedback abt this fic and did he call me out for calling guys manwhores??? no, bcs he probably didn't care and knew it was just for laughs and wished for me to make a mxm spin off.

I'm "unconsciously teaching people what shouldn't be taught" aren't you adults? have u not been taught from a young age what's right and what's wrong? shouldn't you alrdy know this??? if you know its wrong then why would u do it??? I'm not teaching anyone nor am I shaming anyone for doing stupid decisions in life. no matter how old u are, I get that ppl can still make mistakes but to blindly follow the mc of a smutty enhypen fanfiction posted on tumblr????? are u insane or do u just not have anyone guiding you in life.

and can I ask u how u thought yn was based off of me (both physically and personality wise) when I said that i literally have a healthy relationship with my boyfriend? didn't I tell u alrdy that I know how to differentiate fiction and reality. didn't I tell u that no dubcon or whatever that is, happens to us? (I have no idea what dubcon was before this) just bcs she's vengeful and pale doesn't mean I'd do the same thing as she did in this ff bcs like I've said multiple times, yn is a fictional character and I'm an adult who knows what's right or wrong. and who else would I base yn off of? my sister? my mother? other ppl? an oc? ofc I'd use the word pale bcs I am and vengeful bcs I'm vengeful. that's doesn't mean I'm the same as her.

and the "it's pretty obvious it affects you too" phrase, idk what u mean by that.

safe to say that I don't intend to teach any adult smth they should morally alrdy know. I'll add that dubcon thing u said to the warnings if that makes u happy aslo bcs I don't want other people to misunderstand. I had no idea what dubcon was before this so that's why it wasn't there. besides that, I have nothing else for ya. if this came off as blunt to u then thats bcs it probably is. like I said, u never stated anything good from me or the fic, hence why I'm sour. if u came here to provide constructive critiscm, make sure to not just put the bad things.

[taeslovehandles]

I never meant to target you and I'm sorry you felt that way. You properly tag everything and adhere to the "don't like, don't read" rule. I don't follow you nor you follow, because we simply don't vibe together and that's okay.

But there are posts that are on the more "innocent" side that do represent fat people as a joke and it's like they don't even realize it because it's something so well ingrained in our fatphobic society.

For example, all the characters are having fun except the fat one or referring to someone as "twice his size" (like... If they want to say he's huge, they should just say it, not imply that there's a "right size" for someone to be).

I don't think authors should censor themselves, just acknowledge the role they play in how fat characters are perceived by the community they write for.

-🍓

First of all, since you obviously haven’t blocked me, you could have come to me via direct message. This is not a topic that needs to be brought out into the public eye even more than it already is. I have worked with anons before, I would have been the last person to reveal who you are. You could have made a trash account to message me in dm’s, but since you didn’t, I will reply to you here.

I want to make one thing clear. This will be my last response on the topic. If you do not like me as a member of the community please use the block button and filter me out, because I will stay. I have many friends here, and know that many people enjoy my content. Just because a small handful of people don’t appreciate dark themes in fiction, the contents of which they can easily protect themselves from, won’t make me falter.

Now, I want to debunk this ask because your ‘apology’ actually made me very upset.

I know you don’t mean it when you say you are sorry because you’re backpedaling on what you’ve told your friends and it really rubs me the wrong way. You could have owned up to your mistakes and apologized sincerely like others had but you continue to play victim and excuse your behaviour with tales of your own trauma, projecting your own insecurities onto my blog and thus hating me.

I know for a fact that you despise my blog, especially my writing, because you do not like how “obviously skinny people write about weight gain.”

Honey.

I couldn’t be any further from skinny.

I don’t mind sharing my actual weight, which has actually gotten worse due to COVID. I weigh 490lbs. I am morbidly obese. I have always been morbidly obese. For you to come and be “nitpicky” about a genre you don’t even enjoy? Why are you even reading my fics then?

The way I write about obese people, their struggles with literally everything… that comes from real life experience. I write this to share embarrassing and exhausting daily life tasks I personally struggle with.

A skinny person would never write some of the stuff I do, because they simply don’t know. They don’t know how scary it is to hear the line “we are going to a restaurant.” They don’t know how scary it is to go into that new restaurant, scan the chairs and think “Shit, am I gonna fit? Is the chair gonna creak? Is there enough space for the next table? What if I won’t fit?” A thin person doesn’t have to think this way.

And, let me tell you something else. Yes, I agree. The world is fatphobic.

In one of my recent posts I talked about movies and shows where they make fun of fat people because I hate it. Because it is REAL LIFE. And I am all for the body positivity movement and I do believe that all bodies are beautiful, because they are.

You do not know me personally.

And that leads to my next point. If you personally have issues with the phrase “twice my size”, then that is on you. And guess what? I cannot count how often I’ve heard lines like that my whole life.

“Oh wow two people would fit in one of your pant legs.”

“Wow, you are so fat, I could use your pants as a tent.”

So trust me, I know. I KNOW. But anon, this is the important part for me. Everyone processes trauma differently.

Inked ch3? Or literally any story I have written with a fat character being forced, insulted and talked down to like they’re dumb? That’s what I have been living with my entire life. Most of these stories, some obviously more extreme than how I had experienced them since it’s fiction, have been recordings of trauma I have went through.

My own dad force fed me. Forced me to eat food and gain weight. My first boyfriend was a feeder that manipulated me into gaining more weight and took measurements. Called me pig names and abused me. Hit me, manipulated me into having s** with him and then let all of his fantasies out on me.

I don’t make this shit up. I hate my brain for being so twisted now, that I actually find it hot and arousing. It’s weird. I know, but that’s how it is.

I’ve also never had friends in school. Not even kindergarten. Why? Because my “fat incased body could spread like a virus.” I was being bullied like JK was in Pondus.

I had hot water thrown at me, got glue put on my seats and hair, had my hair ripped out and even got a cigarette burn mark on my arm. Just because I was fat. Just because of how my body was shaped.

I was strangled and locked into a small locker for a night. I was almost killed for running away from my abusive dad from his car and had to listen to things like, “You are going to die when you are 30. No one will ever love you and your body.” That I have trust issues now and am paranoid about everything and everyone.

Those dark stories. I use those dark stories to try to work through my trauma. And yes, it may be absurd to you. It may disgust you, what I write. But sadly, most of it? Most of it really happened to me. To me and other people I’ve talked to as a friend or seen online. Most of what I write will be dark because the human species is made up of terrible creatures.

Fatphobia is an important topic, and I am happy the media has been slowly getting better about it, that people accept us more. But my writing is how I work with my trauma. If I can make fictional characters feel the same things I had to feel, that makes me feel better.

And I’m not hurting anyone with it. So how is it wrong?

I do not support any of this behaviour in real life. I never bullied anyone, I always try to speak up for my friends and tell people if they are being assholes. Because I hate them too and it makes me angry when good people get shit when they do nothing but breathe.

And how @pudgecuddles already said. I don't need you to advocate for body positivity and all that shit when you go out of your way to bully someone that may have experienced the same shit you have. I do not know you or what you went through in your life, but I am sorry. I’m sorry you feel like my stories aren’t okay to write, but this is how I work on my trauma and I need you to respect that.

I’ve said this before. We don’t have to be friends, or even talk to each other.

Just be neutral.

Block me. Filter me out. Pretend I don't exist. But, whatever you do, don’t make posts that call me out while making it obvious you’re talking about me, with the cover that you are advocating against fatphobia. That’s got a name. Cyber-bullying.

Have you hurt me with those posts? Yes you have, but I’ve never wanted bad blood. As you may have noticed, it wasn’t me that made a post. It was my good friend. Because I told her how exhausting it was and she knew about the posts back then.

I have a good idea of who you are.

I remember you.

But I kept my mouth shut. Because this community is my home and the last thing I wanted was for the people who like both of our types of content to feel like they have to choose sides.

In the end, we all rub one out to fat gay boys in a band. No user is better than the rest, and if there are topics you do not enjoy, there is a button for it. No need to drag everyone into it with posts. It’s exhausting and irritating.

Now, I do not accept your apology because you lied to me and I also do not feel like you meant it sincerely knowing what I know now after reading some dm’s. But I also won’t sit here and start shit.

This is my last post about this.

Please block me and enjoy the content you do like.

Nonetheless, I hope you have a nice day and a lovely weekend. Whatever you are experiencing or going through, I hope it gets better. Because even if you hate me personally for creating content you do not support, I’d say that I am a really friendly and nice person.

I do not believe that anyone deserves to be bullied like that and talked down in official posts. It happened before with a friend of mine and you probably remember that I did speak up about it.... But apparently no one learned from it. I really hope this time you do.

Insult me and shit talk me all you want in dm’s, but don’t do it publicly. No one deserves that kind of hate or passive aggressiveness. No one. Since you sound like someone that went through a lot of shit too, you should know better. You should know how it feels to be bullied and what damage it can cause.

I’m already depressed enough and I have bad lows. Let me write my erotica and just enjoy it? That’s all I want? I am a part of this community just like you were. You leaving because you did not like my content, is not my problem. If you cannot block me or ignore it and go so far as to read them and then rant about them negatively, what do you want me to do? I won’t leave the scene just because you don’t like me.

So, you either trash talk me in dm’s from now on so that I do not see it, or you block me. The latter of which would be the more mature thing to do. The more humane thing to do. Because talking behind someone’s back is just as bad.

Again, I don’t know why you felt like it was necessary to send me an ask with lies in it when I got screenshot proof of something else you have said/issues with, so don’t backpedal on me. I know Hun. I know already.

At least stick to what you said and actually apologize or, if you can’t, just block me.

But this ask? This ask just upset me.

Have a nice day.

p.s: The fact that this even needs to be talked about is so absurd and ridiculous to me. The whole thing is a petty party in my eyes that isn't even worth anyone's time? Do people on here really not have any other issues right now or am I in the wrong movie?

#taeslovehandle asks #do not use this post to cause your own drama #this is me answering honestly. #the topic about this ends here. #please respect this <3

[longsightmyth]

so i finally finished all the books of asoiaf so far, and I thought i'd ask you: am I the only one who finds the series overrated? Frustratingly overrated, even? I do think it's well written and I enjoy it, but overall, it doesn't seem to be the ground-breaking epic story people say it is? It is hardly the first book to lean into a gritty historical fantasy setting, nor is it the first to use well-loved common used fantasy tropes & archetypes. It is also praised immensely for its subversion and deconstruction of them, even though the text itself seems to be more interested in exploring them, or having a more complex view of them, or taking longer to build up on them. There is also this view that asoiaf is Perfect - in the sense, there is no plot hole ever, there is a reason for everything that happens in the book, everything is tied to symbolism, which is ... obviously a very idolized perspective, as frankly, grrm could really use a stricter editor and a better time schedule. And there is the fact that both grrm and several fans seem to believe that everything in the story is "realistically accurate", which is either a lie or proof that they haven't done their research properly, as the world of asoiaf is frankly a nightmarish caricature of medieval times. And where to start on the way this man treats women in his story: so many are nameless, exist to suffer and die, are written out of the story, are child brides, die in childbirth, are victims of rape and torture and crushing misogyny. The lack of female friendships, and the lack of the variety of roles and accomplishments of women in medieval times should also be noted. Fatphobia is also evident in his narrative. And of course he has a predominantly white cast, with an extremely racist narration for his poc - the lack of them, the exoticism/eroticism of them, the needless violent deaths of so many of them, the terrible portrayal of the Dothraki, the white saviourism in the way he's crafted Daenerys's whole damn story till now. And it seems that he hasn't bothered with criticism at all because his latest book, Fire and Blood, has just doubled down on all his existing issues in a way that makes it sickening to read. And from what I can understand, despite the fact that many less known authors are cancelled and dropped for portraying any of these issues, asoiaf (which is infinitely more problematic than any of them due to its massive reach) is a series whose problems tend to be dismissed entirely (probably by the racist misogynistic trashbag reddit fans that are so drawn towards the series, what a surprise) or criticized but waved away because "it's asoiaf, it's a mess and we love it". there's just a few fraction of fans whose criticisms of the story actually affect their reading of it. It's also extremely frustrating how the series has such a huge fucking monopology in the fantasy - almost every damn book in the genre is compared to it, to an extent. Which makes no sense as, like i said before, it's hardly the most original story there is, and I don't think it was intended to be one. which is of course more about fandoms, but the fact that asoiaf is a kind of story to provoke these reactions is very telling.

sorry for the rant, but you're one of the only blogs I know who seem to have more objective views on ASOIAF, so I thought i'd send you this ask. Perhaps I was a bit more vehement than I intended (I did enjoy enjoy the story but as mentioned above ... I did not understand the idolization of it).

what do you think?

Yeah I've talked about the so called 'subversion' of tropes a couple of times before and how it really just seems to be that he takes longer to get to them.

The draw of asoiaf (for me and I think for many others, even if we aren't actually, like. Fond of the story itself anymore?) is the sheer amount of history and worldbuilding involved. I love that shit. It's almost wot levels. I'm into it.

I do think that many readers would benefit from reading more actual history and then they would maybe see that it's not made up from wholecloth, but I have no beef with that - GRRM is playing with the war of the roses, but so am I, so I can't judge! But yeah I think if people looked into some history (and not just western european history) they would start to see a lot more... structure isn't the right word. They'll see where he's coming from, and the anachronistic sexism and fatphobia etc (while I think GRRM usually tries to make points about these, I don't think he is entirely successful).

[merakiaes]

Please block the following tags for future reference if you get triggered by any of the following:

(TW - FATPHOBIA, EATING DISORDERS, OBESITY, BODY-SHAMING, FAT-SHAMING!)

After having had a long and pointless argument with a Karen online this morning who accused me of being "tWo-FaCeD" for encouraging love and appreciation for all body types while, simultaneously, not being happy with my own weight, I've got a lot on my mind that I feel need to be said and so I'm gonna break my temporary and unannounced hiatus to rant.

IDK who needs to hear this today, no matter which one of the mindsets mentioned that you belong to, but

You can be fat and still like the way you look. These two things can co-exist without it meaning that you're encouraging obesity.

You can be fat and not like the way you look. These two things can co-exist without it meaning that you are being internally/generally fatphobic.

You can be fat and not like the way you look, and still encourage body positivity and compliment other people with a body type identical or similar to yours. These two things can coexist without it making you a hypocrite.

You can be fat and like the way you look but still want to lose weight, without it automatically meaning that you aren't comfortable in your body as it is or that you're being hypocritical for teaching self-love to others while wanting to change yourself. You're allowed to love yourself but still want to make changes.

Not feeling comfortable in your own skin rarely has anything to do with looking down at a specific body type, but rather looking down on yourself as an individual. This is a very important distinction to make as an addition to the previous points.

Self-worth comes from within and everyone gets it in their own way. Some want to lose weight, some want to gain weight, others simply want to practice their confidence and become comfortable in their body as it is. And all of those things. Are. Okay.

A fat person wearing swimwear or any other kind of clothing that shows the tiniest sliver of skin is not, in any way, them promoting or encouraging obesity. Nor is a fat person being proud and happy in their body.

"You're already fat but you need to get fatter. You're not fat enough. Eat more." This is an example of what "encouraging" obesity would look like. Have you ever heard anyone say this to someone? No? That's what I thought. Encouraging obesity isn't even a fucking thing. NO ONE encourages obesity, least of all obese people.

The promotion of obesity does, however, exist, and it exists through the excessive ads for fast-food restaurants as well as the way unhealthy fast food is cheaper than healthy whole food. That's where the problem lies. The problem does not lie with bigger people proudly showing off their bodies that are just as deserving of love and appreciation as anyone else's.

To sum it all up: one thing does not have to equal another. All of the "combinations" mentioned above can co-exist without it necessarily having to be problematic or hypocritical in any way despite the fact that they are contradicting.

Are there higher risks for certain health problems with being obese? Yes, there absolutely is. I'm saying that as a severely obese person, myself.

But with the way you're saying that fat people are "promoting" and "encouraging" obesity by loving themselves and being comfortable in themselves, or simply just existing as overweight people, you are saying that they SHOULDN'T love themselves. That, in turn, is literally like you're saying that being at greater risk for certain complications makes a person unworthy of love. Because that's all obesity is, at the end of the day, isn't it? You're at a bigger risk of developing health hazards. That's literally the "only" problem.

But so are people who are immunocompromised. So are people who have hereditary diseases and conditions going back for generations in their family. So are people who eat too little, who starve themselves to lose weight.

Do you tell them that they shouldn't love themselves? That they aren't worthy of love? That they're promoting and encouraging people to get sick just by existing? No, you don't.

With the latter, you do the exact opposite, don't you? You encourage them no matter how unhealthy they get to love themselves, you tell them that their bodies are beautiful just the way they are, that they don't need to make any changes.

When you stumble upon someone who refuses to eat because they, for example, don't like the way they look, your first instinct isn't to accuse them of promoting and encouraging eating disorders. Your first instinct is to coddle them, feel sorry for them and tell them they're beautiful just the way they are.

Now, I'm not saying that's always the case. I used to be anorectic in my youth and know from experience that there are plenty of people out there who look down on anorectic people and tell them that they're encouraging eating disorders, as well, and that's an entire problem of its own that I'm not going to get into right now seeing as this post is specifically dedicated to the body-shaming of bigger individuals.

I'm also not saying that anorectic people don't deserve to be treated with this support and love, I'm only pointing out that this kind of support is missing for obese people.

The point is that you don't body-shame obese people because you're scared your children are going to be badly influenced by these obese people "pRoMoTiNg" and "EnCoUrAgiNg" obesity. You're body-shaming them because society has taught you that certain bodies simply aren't acceptable in the eyes of societal norms. You're body-shaming them because you've allowed yourself to be brainwashed by these norms and for said norms to make you a narrow-minded, fatphobic piece of shit. That's all it is, really. You aren't body-shaming them because you think they're encouraging obesity; you're body-shaming fat people because you're fatphobic. F-A-T-P-H-O-B-I-C.

Had you truly been worried about fat people "promoting" or "encouraging" obesity", you would've been equally as worried about thin people "promoting" and "encouraging" anorexia. But being thin is the societal norm while being fat is not, so what does it matter if a person is thin to the point where they are unhealthy and at risk for complications? They're thin, right? So in the eyes of an outsider, it's okay.

That just brings us to the subject of eating disorders and the fact that eating disorders can go both ways. Eating disorders aren't always about losing weight, about being thin. Eating disorders can also, in various ways, cause you to gain weight. And don't even get me started on the fact that obesity isn't always caused by an eating disorder or over-eating, just like obsessive starvation and anorexia isn't always the cause of someone being underweight. Everyone acknowledges the latter, but few are ready to acknowledge the former. But that is a conversation for another time.

This post is, in no way, meant to shit on or look down on anorectic people, or people who are just naturally underweight and can't gain weight no matter how hard they try. They are just as valid and worthy of love and support that fat people are and I know that they struggle with prejudice and false accusations left and right, as well, but this post, in particular, is dedicated to the unfair treatment fat people have to endure.

With that said, if I have worded something wrong that makes anyone upset, please send me a message and tell me how I can word it better. English is not my first language and I sometimes struggle to get my point across.

Said point is that all shapes and sizes are equally as valid and equally as beautiful and worthy of love and appreciation, and if you've found yourself feeling personally attacked by this post, please unfollow me if you are a follower. I don't want anyone on my page who thinks being overweight and wearing a bathing suit in public equals promoting and encouraging obesity. Thank you for coming to my rant😇

#tw weight #tw body talk #tw bodyshaming #tw weight mention #tw eating disorder #tw ed content #tw eating mention #tw fat shaming #tw fatphobia #tw obesity #tw obese #tw overweight #tw body dysmorphia