#either way its a lonely existence in a world where 99% of people pair off or obsessed with trying to partner up

[autisticlee]

it kind of sucks when all your friends and family, everyone you know, are all pairing off and getting married and havinf families, except you. you're the only one that doesn't have a partner and probably can/will never get one. especially if one around you has time for you anymore, they never reach out, never get back to you, because they're only focused on their partners and families. you're stuck alone and drift away from everyone through no fault of your own. you have no hope of finding your own partner or no motivation to look for one for whatever reason. the lack of connections while seeing everyone around you having their own can get overwhelmingly lonely at times....

#autism #autistic #asexual #aromantic #these are probably the two factors that put me in this position #im undateable because im too autistic to form any connections with people and cant even make or keep friends around for long #so how would i ever try to date anyone???? #and also asexual which makes it harder. and aromantic (not sure what kind if its like demi and i just need to meet “the one” #and form a connection first to actually have any feelimgs for anyone or not sure if I simply cannot experience romantic attraction #either way its a lonely existence in a world where 99% of people pair off or obsessed with trying to partner up #and theres less value/time/effort put on friendships #ON TOP OF being autistic and forming any connections at ALL is an extremely difficult task that seems to always fail on me! #lee rants #lee rambles #im actually visiting a friend and her gf (who is also friend but we are less close) so i know not everyone partners and shuns friends #but they live in another country and i cant visit all the time so it doesnt help this lonely shit feeling all the time D: to have ~1 friend #would be nice to have all the close benefits and of a dating partnership without the physical stuff and pressure of “dating” #if thar makes sense. best friends but life patners. the person is obligated to help me and bw there for me at all times #someone who chooses me first instead of others. someone that doesnt make me their last choice all the time #their very comfortable to be around and we relate and get along perfectly and make up for each others weaknesses #my favorite person and im their favorite person #they usually always say yes to me and include me and im their first choice for eveything #they respect my needs and boundaries and work with me if we have a misunderstanding or disagreement. #its so hard to find people like this. someone who matches me well enough to fit all these picky things i want #someone who would like me enough to be like this. someone im comfortable with and like who fits the energy i want #even if someone liked ME enough and was these thjngs if they arent comfortable or match my energy then i dont want them #im not desperate enough to take Anyone ans im extremely picky about it #being aroace makes any kind of datimg very hard because theres ~less fish in the sea~ #but being autistic makes it EVEN HARDER becuase i cant even make and keep FRIENDS so how would i have a /partner/ ????? #sighs. i think im meant to live a lonely life and need to learn to accept it