#they respect my needs and boundaries and work with me if we have a misunderstanding or disagreement.
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ARARRARAR hello :D this is my very first time requesting anything to literally anyone so please forgive me for any misunderstandings <//3.
But first!!! I just wanted to say that I've seen your works and I think your writing style is sooo cool! :3 I like your writing style a lot!!!!<3 you seem a bit underated from what I see and I think you need more recognition!!!
Anyway, my request! So I'm wondering if it's alright to request some sleeping together headcanons (like, literal sleeping, no sex or anything D:) with Tecchou, Sigma, and anyone else you wanna add if you want to! Gender neutral reader please :D.
Sorry for bothering you! Feel free to ignore this request if you do not seem to feel so inclined of writing this one<3 But if you do, please be sure to take your time and no need for rush :D! Make sure to care for yourself and don't overwork yourself! You matter a lot and I appreciate you for even the little things you do, dear<3!
-Lots of love, [anonymous]<3.
Oh my god- thank you!! I really appreciate all the love and support, I hope you’re having a wonderful day/night and please enjoy these special head-cannons just for you! <3 (Anonymous plz marry me- were long lost soulmates/j) (≧◡≦)
(Slight sex joke on Nikolai’s- im sorry.) ♡
✮꙳ 𓂃 𓂂𓏸✮꙳ 𓂃 𓂂𓏸✮꙳ 𓂃 𓂂𓏸✮꙳ 𓂃 𓂂𓏸✮꙳ 𓂃 𓂂𓏸✮꙳ 𓂃 𓂂𓏸✮
When Night Falls
Ft. Sigma, Tecchou, Nikolai, Ranpo
✮꙳ 𓂃 𓂂𓏸✮꙳ 𓂃 𓂂𓏸✮꙳ 𓂃 𓂂𓏸✮꙳ 𓂃 𓂂𓏸✮꙳ 𓂃 𓂂𓏸✮꙳ 𓂃 𓂂𓏸✮
Sigma
I am not biased i swear- BUT LIKE SIGMA IS THE BEST ONE TO SLEEP WITH.
To be completely honest, the first time you two shared a bed he was a bit nervous to do so.
When you first cuddled close to Sigma he felt surprised but his instincts quickly kicked in and he wrapped his arms around you as well.
He felt at ease when you two first embraced each other, he felt safe… he felt at home.
As he is the manager of the sky casino, he tends to stay up really late…up until the early hours of the morning; usually around 3am, you sense someone slowly crawl into bed next to you, carefully slipping under the covers, you feel soft slender hands wrap around your body with a soft tired sigh as he attempts to not wake you up.
On most nights, you’d find yourself entangled in sigmas arms, your leg comfortably laid over his as sigma’s soft unconscious head rests on your chest.
Your body warmth combined with his makes for the perfect cozy blanket to protect yourself from the often cold temperatures of the grand sky casino.
Unfortunately, as much as his hair is long and luscious, it does tend to tickle your face or you accidentally lay on it.
(You once woke up with some of his hair in your mouth-).
So to avoid this issue, he tends to sleep with a bun or just a small braid, for your sake.
“How does my bun look?”
“It looks good! But Sigma, are you sure it doesn’t hurt keeping your hair tied up when you sleep?”
“No not really, plus it’s either this or you accidentally eat my hair while we sleep”
“…Touché-“
Tecchou
Let me start off by saying- Tecchou is so quiet and still when he sleeps, i kid you not he does not move an inch like- sir are you alive?.
(If you ask him why he’s always so still and quiet, he’ll respond with “Being able to stay still and quiet even during slumber is good for training to stay quiet when enemies attack, keeping inner peace is a maj-“ *Proceeds to rant*).
Tecchou isn’t overly clingy, he wants to respect your boundaries and tends to give you your own space.
But of course, he would never deny you cuddles if you do so kindly ask.
He doesn’t have a preference per say when it comes to cuddling or holding each other; he can be the one cuddling or the one being cuddled, really doesn’t mind either.
Tecchou will softly wrap his toned arms around your body, his hands are rough from all of his sword training and battles but he makes sure to move his hands with a gentle pace as he soothes your back.
If he is big spooning you, he has a habit of nuzzling his face into your shoulder, you can feel his warm and soft breath against your skin.
He also likes to be held by you, he finds peace and warmth in your arms after a long stressful day at work.
Surprisingly he doesn’t snore at all, his breaths are always soft and quiet.
Every night before bed, Tecchou drinks this sort of strong tea that he mixes with some spices, every night is a new mix.
(May god forbid he offers you some-)
“Tecchou…uhm, why are you drinking green tea mixed with coffee…”
“It helps build a stronger immune system.”
“Oh…interesting..-“
“Would you like to try some?”
“No thank you.”
Nikolai
Sleeping with Nikolai is Definitely an-…Experience-
I kid you not don’t even be surprised if you wake up on the floor with NIkolai spread out like a starfish on the bed, snoring like a jolly green giant as a snot bubble grows and shrinks as he drools.
Definitely starts random pillow fights in the middle of the night.
All jokes aside, Nikolai is definitely big on cuddles, he mostly big spoons but enjoys being the little spoon as well.
A cuddling position he really enjoys is when you lay on top of him like a weighted blanket as he sleeps comfortably.
Nikolai just likes being able to hold you or be held by you, he doesn’t mind as long as you two are close.
When he’s unable to sleep, he tends to play with your hair and sometimes makes little braids and such.
He radiates heat like a dang heater…like- your body gets so warm to the point it sometimes gets uncomfortable.
It doesn’t help that he sleeps with many covers and blankets.
If you try to move away, Nikolai will whine and pout like a 5 year old.
“Nikolai, IT IS TOO DARN HOT FOR YOU TO BE CUDDLING ME LIKE THIS- PLUS THESE DUMBASS BLANKETS YOU GOT FROM COSTCO”
“THEY WERE BUY 2 GET 1 FREE! NOW QUIT MOVING AND LET ME CUDDLE YOU! I WONT LET SOME HEAT STOP US! THIS IS FOR FREEDOM! FREEDOM!”
“Im gonna get a heat stroke.”
“How about you stroke this d-“ *Gets hit with a pillow*
Ranpo
Sleeping with Ranpo can really go two ways, “Messy/ takes up the whole bed” or “Peaceful cuddle session”.
For example; on some nights, it starts off with you two peacefully holding eachother.
Yet by the next morning, your head would be half off the bed as Ranpo’s head rests on his own pillow, his leg would be over your stomach as loud snores fill the room.
All the pillows, except for Ranpo’s, are on the floor while the covers half cover your sleeping body and favor Ranpo’s.
(He will literally fight you for the blankets- definitely bit you once).
But on some nights (usually nights where Ranpo solved a case), it can be more peaceful and loving.
Ranpo curls up in a small ball as you two lay in bed, he clings on to your side like a small Koala.
You play with his hair as he starts to drift off to sleep, you softly praise him for his hard work that day and how good of a job he did.
He falls asleep with a small smile decorating his face.
If you bring up his clinginess the next morning he will act so offended and say it’s absurd and just deny deny deny.
“You looked so adorable clinging on to me as you fell asleep last night, Ranpo…”
“HUH?!- I WOULD NEVER THATS-“
“Don’t deny it Ranpo…we both know it happened”
“PFFT- Of course not, why would I, the world’s greatest detective cling on to someone as lowly as you”
“…You’re sleeping on the couch tonight.“
✮꙳ 𓂃 𓂂𓏸✮꙳ 𓂃 𓂂𓏸✮꙳ 𓂃 𓂂𓏸✮꙳ 𓂃 𓂂𓏸✮꙳ 𓂃 𓂂𓏸✮꙳ 𓂃 𓂂𓏸✮
Love these pooksters with all my heart
But I definitely have clear favorites- *Cough* Sigma *Cough*
Anyways, I hope you all enjoyed these head-cannons, and as always feel free to request anything you’d like to see!
And as always, Love y’all! <3
#bsd sigma#sigma x reader#bsd tecchou#tecchou x reader#bsd nikolai gogol#bsd nikolai#nikolai x reader#bsd ranpo#ranpo x reader#bsd x reader#bsd headcanons#bsd#headcanon#anime#sleeping
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HQ CAPTAINS : best things in your relationship ♡
(pre-timeskip , aged up characters)
quick disclaimer: these scenarios don't affect the original plot of the series. any information or events that contradict the original plot are purely fictional. (i do not own any of the characters) Please read the a/n at the end! <3<3
ꜰᴇᴀᴛᴜʀɪɴɢ: ʙᴏᴋᴜᴛᴏ, ᴜꜱʜɪᴊɪᴍᴀ, ᴋᴜʀᴏᴏ, ᴏɪᴋᴀᴡᴀ, ᴋɪᴛᴀ, ᴅᴀɪᴄʜɪ, & ᴛᴇʀᴜꜱʜɪᴍᴀ (ɪɴ ᴏʀᴅᴇʀ)
ꜱɪᴛᴜᴀᴛɪᴏɴ: ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪꜱ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴛʜᴇɪʀ ʙᴇꜱᴛ ᴛʀᴀɪᴛꜱ ᴀɴᴅ ʙᴇʜᴀᴠɪᴏʀ ɪɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʀᴇʟᴀᴛɪᴏɴꜱʜɪᴘ
He is very honest and open, he'll say everything when you ask him.
Satisfies your needs when it comes to affection, LOTS of cuddles and forehead kisses.
No Emo-mode Bokuto when it comes to serious discussions. He doesn't talk back to you and tries his best to understand you. He's a bit jealous though..
Respects your parents and grandparents so much! He often ask you to visit them.
"Babyyy can we meet Obachan? I loved the soup she made, oh my gosh let's get married now Y/n!!"
A relationship with patience and privacy
He's very patient, he's not the controlling type. He wants to make sure that he's not suffocating you.
He's also understanding, you often meet up with your friends and you end up going home late he understands it and fetches you to make sure you're safe.
Very consistent, when he was still courting you he gives you flowers and even now as couples he's still doing it!
"I kept on receiving flowers I don't know who gave them..... I just want you to know.."
"I sent them.."
A relationship built with trust, attachment, and intimacy
He's very touchy and wants you to himself 24/7
Very Faithful. he may look like some womanizer shit, but he's not, he's into you, only you.
He will always ask for your opinion about everything he does, and will make it as his guide. He trust you about everything
"Love I don't know if I'll still pursue volleyball, but I love the game itself.."
" You don't want to be a professional athlete?"
"I'm confused, I don't know. But I also feel like i don't want to abandon it.."
"You don't need to play the sport itself, you can work from behind the scenes."
"Damn, such a wifey material.."
A very open relationship, there are circumstances that you will complain about his actions or doings and he will openly listen.
If he's really at fault he will adjust, if you don't want him to do this or that he will not do it.
Tries his best to understand you in everything.
Very appreciative, you know that volleyball is his passion and you give him time and space. He appreciates it a lot.
"I'm sorry I couldn't put all my attention to you, but please don't leave me.."
"Career over love, choose your passion and I'll choose mine."
"Baby are you breaking up with me again?!"
"You are my passion"
A very perceptive man
Misunderstandings don't stand a chance on breaking your relationship, even if you accidentally said something that is very different from what are you pointing out he will immediately figure out what you really mean
He's also polite, caring, and loyal.
He often help you with your studies, affirms you and is very respectful of you
"Please don't hesitate to ask for my assistance about everything, i don't want to see you struggling"
"I just don't want to bother you, you're already stacked up. i just want you to enjoy your extra time and be happy"
"I am the happiest when you rely on me."
TO MAKE IT SHORT,, HE'S PERFECT
Responsible and you actually sees him as the literal 'Husband Material' yes, more than just a bf material. Seriously, having him was the real deal!
Respects your boundaries
He's very attentive when it comes to you. He knows it when you're not feeling well, annoyed, happy, everything!
He often helps you with your studies
"Love, were you the one who prepared my presentation?"
"That was me. I wasn't sure if you were gonna be okay with me helping you, but... I wanted to help you anyway."
Study dates!
Very touchy even in public, and he can't hold himself back. he loves the feeling of being close to you
When arguing he's probably a bit headstrong but he doesn't talk back, he may be defensive at times but he makes it up to you. Whenever you two argue, he's all frowny not because he's annoyed that you're nagging him but because he's annoyed that he was being a 'burden' to you.
YOU. ARE. THE. PRIORITY.
He's famous at school and has his group of friends that he always hangs up with, he's such a party boy too. but when it comes to you, there's no hesitation. he'll decline any meeting with the boys and will probably say: "Bro I need to see my gf so bad, gotta go. I hope ya find your love life."
Bro is smitten
Hiiii! my lineup for what i'll post was piling up, and I plan to post drafts first(this was a draft a week ago!) before my requests. I'll be working on 4 requests! please once again, bare with me. i'll start writing the request in few days, and post it immediately after finishing them. for the anons who requested, i hope you'll wait until then. thank you very much! I finished writing the 'stuff' that i've been writing for a long time, and i'll post it soon! thank you so much for the support<3<3 i hope you all the best health!
#hq#hq captains#hq fluff#haikyuu#haikyuu captains#haikyuu x reader#bokuto#bokuto fluff#kita#daichi#kuroo#ushijima#terushima#oikawa#kita x reader#bokuto x reader#kita fluff#ushijima x reader#ushijima fluff#terushima x reader#terushima fluff#daichi x reader#daichi fluff#kuroo fluff#kuroo x reader#oikawa fluff#oikawa x reader#hq imagines#haikyu#im still alive
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I read your post on boundaries and the MCYT community recently and have been thinking about as posts that contradict it cross my dash, and I’ve been reflecting on how a lot of what we call “boundaries” are more just like. Community rules? Like take “no sexualization,” for instance. If I’m talking to someone at my workplace, I am not comfortable with them making sexual remarks about me. If someone did, I would tell them so, and not engage in that conversation with them. That’s an actual boundary — something governing how people interact with ME that I am in charge of enforcing. I don’t say “no one is allowed to think anything sexual about me at work ever or tell their friends I’m hot” bc that’s just insane and none of my business, quite frankly. Streamers are well within their rights to say they aren’t comfortable seeing people sexualizing them in their chat or like very publicly on Twitter, but saying no one can sexualize them ever is actually just a community rule, not a personal boundary. Based on how I understand what a boundary is, it can’t be boundary breaking to do something that a creator definitely will not see, because the creator isn’t interacting with the content, and boundaries are about governing comfort in interactions. And saying “I don’t want there to be sexualization or sexual content about me in the main tags bc my main audience is children who browse those tags and they shouldn’t be exposed to that” is a reasonable enough rule to ask your community to follow, but it’s just straight up not a boundary? Like am I misunderstanding what a boundary is? I’m confused bc I’m seeing all this stuff about boundary breaking content and how it’s disgusting even if the creator will never see it and I just don’t get it?
Yeah, I think this is a situation where we're using words to mean something they don't technically mean (see also, "lore"), and then this leads to us also having community arguments about what is acceptable, and it's all totally unnecessary.
Cause the workplace comparison is a good one! If I was telling fellow coworkers how hot they were when they'd said they didn't want to hear that, or walking up to the barista and saying that I wanted them to weigh in on the porn I'd written about them, that would be workplace sexual harrasment and, depending on the severity of the situation, literally a crime I could be charged with. Absolutely inappropriate to do, and I can't express how extremely fair it is that streamers get to say no to that. I am FULLY in support of CCs setting those limits for their spaces and think it's healthy and we all need to respect that.
But "boundaries", as a term, is technically about controlling your own behaviour and people's access to you. You set a boundary and say to your parents "if you bring up grandkids at the christmas meal I will be leaving", or "if you mention [latest discourse] on my blog I will block you". It's about controlling your experiences via your own behaviour and the stuff that you actually see. CC equivalent is saying that any sexualization or shipping in their chats or replies will lead to a block or a ban. That's them controlling their own experience and that's A-ok. Asking a CC to weigh in on what sort of fan work they're comfortable being shown, that's also about them controlling their own experience and is totally fair.
Asking a CC to weigh in on what sort of fan work exists in general— that's not boundaries any more, that's something else entirely. The closest equivilent is companies trying to control what sort of materiel their image or trademarked material show up in, I think? Which is a thing you can do when you're licensing your image, but isn't actually a thing you can do with fan works. Celebrities get to say no they're not going to appear in a commercial advertising an oil company, because they have a moral disagreement with oil companies, but that's because the interaction there is a company offering to pay them money for their image and them declining the money. That's not how fan works operate. The celebrity isn't in a position to decline the money for their "image" being used, because no money is being offered, because the fan isn't making money. It's not a copyright/licensing situation, it's fan works. The celebrity shouldn't be part of the conversation at all, because they should never see that.
And like, there's issues of impersonation or endorsement where it's bad form to do something that looks like it comes from the celebrity, as though they approve of what is being depicted, which is why AI voice lines and deepfakes are being increasingly spoken out against. But man, someone writing Captain Puffy's and PearlescentMoon's cubitos kissing each other on Ao3 and keeping it on Ao3 is not a situation where celebrity endorsement or licensing or impersonation comes in at all. That's a conversation totally within the fandom, without the creators involved. And I really disagree with asking the creator to treat all of fandom like their community, which they should moderate and like, control their image and make kids-and-advertiser-friendly, because that's not how fandom works and also that is unfair to ask of them.
Can one or both of the creators say they don't want to see that? Totally fair. That's a boundary. Can they say that it shouldn't exist in their main tag that kids check? I'm on the side of tagging things to keep them away from minors and people who don't want to see it anyways, rock on. That's a community rule. Can they say that it should never exist ever, anywhere on the internet? That's just not how this works.
A) that's not how fan works have ever worked, fan works are for transforming and celebrating existing canon, not for creator approval, and we should stop shoving all of them in creators' faces or asking them to weigh in, B) "boundaries" is entirely the wrong word for what's going on there, like you said. Cause is the mere existence of a thing in a seperate space infriging on the creator's experience and reasonable for them to control? That's what a boundary is, this isn't. C) This isn't even community rules that it makes sense for them to moderate! When you are talking about an entirely different space, cut off from the CCs, doing their own thing to the characters, with age barriers and trigger warnings built in, "boundaries" isn't the right term, but also this doesn't make sense as a space that we're inviting creators into to moderate. This is a seperate space, and stories or art in it aren't hurting people, even if the cc's wouldn't want to see that or even want them in their main community tabs.
So yeah when it comes to us enforcing our own community rules, keeping creator boundaries and community rules in mind, the mere existence of a thing does not seem to me like the end of the world. A lot of people have come out and said that all our work needs to be sqeaky clean and able to be shown in the creator's chat, as though the creator is moderating the space and their personal boundaries are involved. And (listing things yet again, this is a post of lists), first of all there's a real focus on sexualization in that case and never on things like family dynamic or kidfic or gore or whump that could also make creators uncomfortable if it was shoved in their faces. (But somehow when anyone brings up those "boundaries" everyone comes to the conclusion that something entirely off on the internet somewhere and never shown to the creators is not going to harm them. Curious.) And second of all, I just disagree that that's a good way to run a fandom community. This is a space for fans, not for the creators, bringing up the "weird stuff" publically to creators is incredibly cruel to people who shouldn't have to see that, AND it's a bad atmosphere for creativity to always want the creators to approve things, fandom is for saying "fuck the man" and doing your own thing. Just tag it to keep it away from people who don't want to see it, and filter the tags for your own experience. Keep everything in its own space and you're good.
There's tons of stuff in the fandom that isn't to my taste, ranging from characters that just don't do it for me to tropes that are active turn offs to people writing and undertagging things in ways that is concerning to me. We have got to learn to say "that's not for me" and "that's not for the cc" and put it away (block if you have to) and move on.
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How do we manifest improved social life, like being popular in your town or having large groups of friends
"16 missed calls, sorry I was busy but I missed ya 💕"
I know social media and a social life is not the same but I noticed over the past year as I worked on my shadow work and becoming more accepting of myself. People have started giving me more attention on this blog. So therefore, just being yourself really and knowing that you have traits that are lovable is what will make people attracted to you. You can still be a flawed person and be considered likeable.
Also you have to understand having friends and being popular are two different things. Popularity to me is mostly just about receiving attention and it's very superficial, so people would like you at a surface level, not on a deep level. So if that's what you wish then that's fine, but if you want to form connections with people that are healthy and substantial, then you need to think about what you want to get out of your platonic relationships.
"Tryna get with you and yo friends"
I always say birds of a feather flock together. I can be selective about what people I associate myself with because if their behavior is pretty nasty and negative, I don't particularly want to surround myself around that energy. So you need to think about qualities would you want your friends to have? What unhealthy patterns do you keep repeating in your past friendships? Why are you alone currently? Have you've been a good friend as well? What do you truly desire from your social life? Once you written these things down, you can start having a clear idea of how you can attract that desire into your life
Here are some some positive list of traits or things a friendships should have:
Good communication. Misunderstandings and differences in personality can happen, but it is important to be able to mend those differences. If for example, your friend says "hey you like to go out for drinks but I don't like alcohol, could we perhaps do something else?" You'd could do something that makes you both comfortable. Or if a friend were to hurt your feelings, you should be able to talk about that and they can apologize.
Your friend makes sure you're okay in a moment of crisis.
They respect your boundaries when you say "no", don't wish to go out, or want to leave.
You equally both can depend on each other when it's necessary.
"I got your back, you got mine". This is a crucial one and it could apply to anything. For example, it's "girl code" to go to the bathroom together. Most women go to the bathroom together because that is where most abductions and assaults happen. So in order to protect each other they go together. Or even to discuss planning on leaving if someone makes you both uncomfortable.
Some negative traits or things a friendship can have:
Your friend is a closet hater. I notice this is something that's subtle and not as obvious, you have to catch it on time. It's more so like passive aggression and you'd have to be able to get the fake expression and tone of sarcasm. "Oh my god yeah, you sure do love to eat 😃😊🙄" is one way someone could take jabs at you. Don't gaslight yourself when it happens. If you noticed there was a twinge of jealousy or pettiness in their comment. Address it when you feel calm and express how that wasn't okay. If they dismiss it and treat you like you're being dramatic, that person is not being a good friend.
You and your friend behave like "mean girls". Meaning this person just brings out the worse in you and doesn't elevate you as a person. You just act like bitter bitches together.
They steal, lie, cheat, commit crimes, etc. I don't even know how people are friends with people who have no sense of morals just because they did them a favor growing up. It's absurd. You owe nothing to that person and even if that person did something nice for you doesn't mean you have to stay friends.
They're a freeloader or stingy with their money. This is self explanatory. I don't like people who use their friends for money or gifts, its very tacky. Especially if they don't ever do it in return. Unless that person helps you in other ways such as helping you clean your house or helped you get a job. I don't think it's appropriate for them to constantly take money from you. It's just giving sugar daddy/mommy at that point.
Another tip is that if you are someone with a disability (autism for example) you can ask your friends to use tone indicators when texting or if you have trouble with understanding social cues, you can ask them politely what do they mean by that or have a signal you can both use when you are feeling a certain emotion (thumbs down = sad, thumbs up = happy, clenched fist = angry, etc). It will be easier to understand what they are trying to express.
Doing research on body language can also help understand a pattern in people's behavior and who has true intentions or not.
How to use self concept to your advantage.
Let's check your thoughts and see why it could be potentially blocking you from making friends. If you think things like "oh no one likes me", "I'm so weird", or "that person is so cool, they would never hang out with me". Stop it!!! Don't ever in your life put people on a pedestal! Don't even put yourself on the pedestal, that concept is so stupid to me, it just creates a big ego. See this person as your equal. You see qualities in them that you like because they are reflecting a part of your soul that is beautiful as well. You are drawn to one another for a reason. Have the mindset that you attract positive and uplifting friendships easily because you have the same energy as well.
Now if you're a shy person, I know it can be hard to approach people, or feeling comfortable in crowds. You can just always start small. If you have a class with someone that you like or have similar interests with. You can sit next to them and ask them about their day. Eventually things will feel naturally because you are creating a routine with this person and there is a flow going on. Just be patient and understand it takes a while for some people to come around. People can have trouble trusting and need to if you're being genuine with them. So try not to force it if they aren't as warm at first. They're still trying to get to know you and you should do that as well.
Let's use Hello Kitty for example. She is known for being friends with many and loved and adored by all! She is a friendly person and in most shows that she's in, her ability to connect with people is quite effortless. Hello Kitty just be's herself! That's what makes her so special along with her ability to show love through her actions, not just words.
Now think about the term "social life". It's a part of your life where you're socializing, meaning you're letting people take away some or your valuable time. What do you wish to do with your social life? Now there's nothing with partying and it can be fun but there's so much more than going to the club, getting drunk, etc. You can make a vision board of your dream life, the kind of people you wish to meet, and what activities you wish to do with them.
Here a list of hobbies you can do with friends that aren't just about partying or clubbing:
Go to an art museum
Visit a botanical garden
Play tennis together
Take a pilates class
Go to the gym
Have a sleepover
Take a trip to the beach
Start a book club
Go out on a picnic
I hoped this helped, anon. Now go out there and make some friends! 👭
#advice#manifestation#law of assumption#law of attraction#friendship#friends#soulmate#soul connections#it girl#divine feminine
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Ho Ho Ho 🎅🏻
Hi there! I wish you a happy new year!
I’m already working on your gift 🎁
You had a lot of ideas in your form. It was helpful while brainstorming!
I really liked the idea to think about friendships some more! What do you like the most about those friendships you mentioned?
- DCMK Secret Santa
So the thing I enjoy most about a lot of the platonic relationships in DCMK is how complex they are!
Heiji is, in every sense of the phrase, Shinichi’s ride-or-die, and vice versa. They may bicker and compete, but they also trust each other implicitly and are completely willing to hide bodies or risk their lives if that's what the other one needs. We joke about how obsessed with Shinichi Heiji is, but really what happened is that Heiji went into his first encounter with Shinichi expecting a straightforward competition with someone on his level and came out with tremendous respect for Shinichi and a renewed sense of purpose as a detective. And while Shinichi frequently plays up their competition and is insufferable whenever he wins, he doesn't tolerate it when anyone else looks down on Heiji, and he panics if the guy is in danger. In short, codependent weirdo kings.
Hakuba and Kaito are so precious to me because there's this really profound unspoken understanding between the two of them of a game that they're playing with each other that absolutely no one else is playing or even aware of. Somehow, without really communicating about it in any way, they've established a set of boundaries and agreements that govern how they compete as detective and thief, and despite their outward dislike of one another and their sincere distaste for each other's life paths, that trust between them is so deeply rooted. Hakuba wants to defeat Kaito but he'll do things like withholding evidence or acting as KID’s informant if he believes it's necessary to making their competition fair. Kaito will trust Hakuba not to betray him despite having no reason to do so. They have like one single social skill between them and they're both extremely isolated so instead of forming a normal peer relationship they're socializing via trying to outwit each other. The rituals are so freaking intricate.
I could go on for hours about the Nagano Trio and how I adore every single iteration of their dynamic. Whether they are platonic or romantic it doesn't matter, they've been inextricably entwined with one another since childhood and despite a lot of conflicts and misunderstanding, they've never stopped being entwined. Even while pushing each other away, their actions have been dictated by those bonds. You can see Kansuke’s influence in the path Yui’s and Taka’aki’s lives have taken and vice versa. And a lot of it is really messy and shot through with guilt and regrets, but ultimately they still all care about each other so so much.
Akai and Camel are also just so intriguing. Their relationship is a messy combination of guilt and obligation and deep respect. Camel can't really think of Akai as a normal human being with flaws and shortcomings, and Akai is equally incapable of communicating how isolating that sort of idolization is. They would absolutely die for each other, but they are never going to have a frank discussion of their feelings.
I could keep going, but honestly I feel like I have made my point. DCMK is such a good source of messy, profound platonic relationships and I am so here for it.
#dcmk#dcmk exchange#meta#kudou shinichi#hattori heiji#kuroba kaito#hakuba saguru#morofushi takaaki#yamato kansuke#uehara yui#andre camel#akai shuuichi#reply
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Hello! I just wanted to let you know that it is 100% not your job to monitor what minors are doing online whether you write nsfw content or not. Minors who want to consume nsfw content most definitely are not going to care about a warning and it is 100% on parents to ensure their children don’t have access to that kind of content. I wish tumblr had a better system for blocking minors from viewing that kind of content, but it’s the internet and I feel like people really need a dose of reality when it comes to the internet. I’ve seen some real vile, fucked up works of fiction online and yours are literally just basic taboo with very, very common kinks that are usually only hot in a fictional setting. I understand everyone has boundaries, but some people truly shouldn’t scour the internet if they can’t grasps that someone that’s not committing a crime (or even writing about minors in the first place because can we talk about how common it is for fandoms to write porn between minors or even minors with adults??) should be able to write a work of fiction. I might come off as overly mad about this but as someone who dealt with sexual abuse from a family member as a minor, I find it crazy when someone starts suggesting that engaging with incest fics or even ddlg fics is supporting grooming or pedophilia. Writing should always be a safe outlet of expression and if people find it gross, they do not have to consume that content. If I was you, I would just ignore it all. You’re not at fault for anyone but *you*. Not what your followers say, not what someone doesn’t agree with, not if a minor reads your work. This is your page and you don’t have to explain yourself to anyone for writing insanely common smut even if you do want to be respectful. You deserve respect as well and I find it disrespectful that people expect u to be mommy to everyone on ur page.
U don’t have to post this either, I just wanted to rant as well because I’m mad that u had to deal with people making u feel bad about small things like a warning and accidentally using the word grooming in the wrong context when u obviously have 0 bad intentions and are always so fucking kind.
Hi anon!
I know you said I didn’t have to post, but I wanted to reply back to you (and this is the only way to do it haha).
I just wanted to say thank you! 💜 💜 It might seem silly but this means a lot to me! 🥹🥹
You seriously made me tear up cause I really do try to be respectful and kind on this platform; it’s the least someone can give to another. We’re all just people ya know?
And looking back at it now after a few days have passed, I’m still confused (since I don’t even know what was being said about me/my blog) as well as disappointed cause I thought I was on friendly terms with these people. I didn’t even get a chance to defend myself before everyone just dropped me like I have the plague lol.
And to be quite honest, I find it kinda hypocritical to unfollow me for a misunderstanding when most of the mutuals I followed at the time wrote equally problematic/dark content (and I’m not even writing underage or grooming to begin with!).
Like it’s one thing for someone to not follow me for their own reasons; it’s another to tell people not to because of X, Y, Z and it not even be in the correct context cause you’re just cherry picking my asks/posts based on my ignorance.
Also, I’m sorry you had to go through that sort of abuse, anon! ❤️🩹 thank you for sharing ❤️🩹
I’m moving past it! I’ve blocked/unfollowed anyone who I thought might see my content that was involved (just in case). And any hate gets deleted. I’m honestly doing fine! Just get peeved every now and again cause like why be nice to me up until zero hour and then not even discuss it with me? I mean critical thinking skills are a thing ya know? 🤣 it’s giving Kelso (damn Jackie, I can’t control the weather 🤭)
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♔ ❛ ℐ serve no 𝐆𝐎𝐃
but that which stares back at me
——— in the 𝒎irror. ❜
𝑰nd. &. sel. 25+ 𝐁𝐀𝐋𝐃𝐔𝐑'𝐒 𝐆𝐀𝐓𝐄 roleplay blog for ℒORROAKAN ; self-appointed MASTER OF RAMAZITH'S TOWER &. GREAT ARCHMAGE of Baldur's Gate. TRIGGER WARNING for dark / adult content.
𝓱is ❛ amakiir ❜ : @shadovan
INFO & LINKS UNDER THE CUT.
HEADCANONS
OPEN STARTERS
MEME TAG
STORIES:
✍︎ ℳEMORIES.
𝐑𝐔𝐋𝐄𝐒
I. GNEREAL
I also write on Discord! Feel free to ask for it if we're mutuals c:
25+ ONLY. I'm turning 29 this year, and I'd like to write with people in my age range.
This is no space for OOC drama, IRL political discourse, people who can't differentiate fiction from reality and think it's okay to police adults on what to write on their blogs (go touch some grass). Hard-block. I will also opt for blocking instead of soft-blocking if our rules clash, if you have numerous triggers / DNIs, or to avoid misunderstandings. In most cases, it's nothing against you personally.
Yeah, so. This is a 25+ blog, run by a 25+ mun, and there will be adult content, including but not limited to: violence, abuse, gore, monsters, gaslighting, manipulation, canon-typical fantasy racism and overall offensive / problematic themes. Triggers won't always be tagged. If you're triggered by any of these, this blog isn't for you.
Communication is key!! You'd like to share an idea? Go right ahead. Don't like where the plot is going? Let me know. You want to scream about our muses? YES. Writing is so much more fun if the muns get along. I promise, I don't bite.
II. INTERACTION
I'm selective and mutuals only. If I don't follow back, it's likely because you're not a BG3 / D&D related blog, I already have a lot of threads, too much formatting, or I feel our muses / writing styles don't mesh. Additionally, if your rules mention steering clear of the topics / triggers mentioned above, I won't follow. We don't have to write anything that makes you uncomfortable (!!!exclamation mark!!111!), but they might come up.
If I follow you, I want to interact! Don't be shy <3 I will also assume that if you follow me back, you're fine with me sending you memes / tagging you in starters / sliding into your IMs to plot.
MEMES. I'm a feral meme goblin. Please don't ever feel obligated to answer the 517 memes I've sent you (or any at all), and in return, feel free to bombard my inbox. Even if we already have 3,670 threads. Idc fam, send me more. We haven't interacted yet? Meme. I haven't answered your meme yet? My muse probably didn't vibe with it, send another. Send memes. I may not respond to all of them and not every meme will spark a new thread, but... send memes. If you want to turn a meme into a thread, DO IT. No need to ask.
I prefer to keep it simple when it comes to formatting. It looks cool, but reading paragraph after paragraph of double spaced text hurts my eyes.
I'm a big fan of making my muses suffer :D I love angst and exploring dark, gritty plots. If you have any triggers, let me know before jumping into a RP with me, aka the angst queen, so we're all on the same page.
My ADHD often influences my activity. Sometimes I'll reply super fast, sometimes it takes me ages, and sometimes I can only focus on specific threads / muses.
III. DUH
Mun =/= Muse, I obviously don't condone any of Lorroakan's bs IRL. He isn't a nice person. He is a toxic, abusive piece of work. While I will absolutely respect your boundaries OOC (if you talk to me beforehand about them, pretty please with a cherry on top), I won't tone him down on main. If that's not your cup of tea, block buttons exist. Use them.
Please don't soft-block me, I have the memory of a soggy pickle. Hard-block.
Protecting your online space is a mature thing to do, and I promise I'll 100% support that. No questions asked, no hard feelings. We're all here to have a good time.
IV. SHIPPING / RELATIONSHIPS
Speaking of having a good time: We're sex-positive and kink-friendly in this house. I enjoy a raunchy smut-driven RP as much as the next depraved soul, but I won't write smut on the dash. The steamy stuff will be moved to discord or IMs.
This blog is multiship, male lean. Matter of fact, I love to ship, so if that's something you'd like to do, slide into my inbox. Fair warning; Lorroakan isn't particularly interested in romance or sex, and he's a prick. Ships will most likely be toxic / one-sided (with the potential to develop into something wholesome over time!).
Pre-established relationships: Yes. I usually don't do romantic pre-established relationships (some exceptions may be made for "what if" scenarios, or if I know the mun), but what if your muse was Lorroakan's childhood bestie? Another (former?) apprentice? A fellow scholar of the arcane he used to work with?
V. MUN
They/Them, hatched 1995, dog parent, hyperfixating on problematic villains, D&D player.
𝐌𝐔𝐒𝐄
GENERAL
Lorroakan is in his early-mid 30s, fairly young considering his achievements (mostly obtained through deceitful methods).
He presents himself as the great archmage of Baldur's Gate, but while he is a compentent wizard and keen enchanter, he is nowhere near as powerful as he claims to be.
Lorroakan laid claim to Ramazith Tower after its previous owner mysteriously disappearend, and he refuses to share the knowledge it holds (at least for free).
He is originally from Athkatla, one of the wealthiest cities in Faerun, but he grew up in the shadows of its splendor. His family (mother, father, two sisters, four brothers) could barely make ends meet, but Lorroakan has always been ambitious and harbored dreams of one day being just as wealthy and powerful as the elite of the Gem District. The practice or use of arcane magic is explicitly illegal within the city of Athkatla, but that didn't stop him; he practiced in secret whenever he could get his hands on a spellbook.
PERSONALITY IN A NUTSHELL . . . as interpreted by the mun ;
Ambitious, diligent, intelligent, clever, creative ; selfish, arrogant, manipulative, power-hungry, petty, vain.
He has a superiority complex ; he is vain, has an overly high opinion of himself, makes boastful claims that aren't backed up by reality, has a habit of putting down those who outshine him. In truth, behind his inflated ego, he is insecure and has low self-esteem. Not that he'd ever admit that. In fact, he wouldn't even admit it to himself.
(The way I see it) Lorroakan isn't a straight up villain. However, his ambitions and narcissistic nature drive him to commit morally questionable, and at times, outright despicable acts.
CHARACTER STUDIES / RELEVANT HEADCANONS:
bad money habits
more about his past & why he is how he is
Shippy HCs
CONs of being his lover
PROs of being his lover
NSFW headcanons
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//grooming
this shit with dream. honestly, i got a few thoughts about it. i’ve spent the last day or so reviewing the evidence and checking both sides. this might be a long post bear with me. also read the whole thing, or at least read my conclusion, before commenting.
-initial allegations:
i have decided to respect the alleged victim(s), and as dream’s only statement as of today, October 14, 2022 (MST 19:08), has been a whiney priv twitter thread, i’ve elected to place that dream has not made any real statements regarding the allegations. i will further explore his defense when he gets home and takes this seriously. i’m honestly disgusted by his initial response. if he makes no genuine response, i will assume he doesn’t take these matters seriously and that will be evidence enough for me to quit respecting him.
-faked or inefficient evidence:
i have seen plenty of evidence so far against the provided proof of the first victim, but at the same time i have seen other evidence in support or her proof. for example, her having the same story about this for two years. the bigger problem here is inefficient evidence. dream has not come out yet with any proof whether or not they did have communication. theres too little here for us to know definitively. the next part will continue.
-definition of grooming:
based on the released messages of the original poster, i see no real instances of grooming. i am seeing that he is being cringey with an overuse of heart eyed emojis. there is no coercion, no threats, and no power play going on in the provided proof. that being said, things like this can be one-sided and uncomfortable to experience. i would not define this as grooming, rather, a misreading of boundaries. this is still a problem, for a content creator and fan to have this misunderstanding, but it is not equivalent to grooming. historically, dream has had issues with understanding other people’s boundaries. the “16 is legal in the uk” joke thats going around is proof of that. thats an uncomfortable joke, and tommy obviously didnt like it, but its not solid proof of pedophilia. i’ve always believed, and will continue to believe, that he needs to work on this moving forward.
-racism, antiblackness, and antisemitism
with this being talked about, im seeing a lot of people talk about other things dream has done. i can only really speak on his comments about mexicans, but recognize that hes been in the wrong before by blocking people educating him on antiblackness, collaborating with notch, etc etc. personally i believe it is unfair for him and especially for the victims for this to be turned into a “look at All the shit hes done!” thing. the conversation should be focused on the stories of the victims right now. i encourage these callouts on him, especially with his lacking apologies, but now is not the time. i say this as a victim of sexual assault and grooming.
-“dream in these stories acts out of character”
you do not know him. parasocial relationships, although they are a joke now, are still serious as hell. i’ve watched dream since 2020 and i’ll admit, some of these things don’t add up to what we know about him. the biggest thing, being that he face revealed to this fan. that does not track with what we have seen about him. with that said, *we don’t know this guy*. the only people who will confirm if these actions are out of character are his friends, and that’s it. we cannot do that.
-conclusion
“believe victims always” and “believe victims first” are two different sayings, and neither should be the first thing to come to mind. always take things with a grain of salt. that being said, express empathy and RESPECT to the victims coming forward. to dream stans: do NOT jump to the conclusion now that dream is innocent, and do NOT say shitty things to or about the victims coming out. to antis: stop celebrating this shit. it’s disrespectful as fuck, strays the conversations, and makes it harder to find the evidence if its all buried under your shitty memes about it. i am choosing to not make any conclusions until it is confirmed OR denied by further evidence.
i have no problem unsubbing from dream if this is true— understand that i have basically abandoned his content out of boredom and literally not watched a single stream or video of his since like 2021 (aside from the face reveal). im by no means a dream stan. i watch and engage with dream smp content, and thats the extent to what i do concerning dream. i also don’t hate him. thats why i’m hoping this post is portrayed as neutral as possible.
if you are overwhelmed by this, i am also supporting you. my support and empathy does not end with the alleged victims. take care of yourself, stay off twitter, and know my dms are always open.
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[cw mentions of ableism. talking / venting about the sharing vs non-sharing shit (i do not lean towards supporting one "side" over the other); starts out relatively neutral-toned but i start to sound frustrated part way through. i also have a more personal ramble at the very end that has a separate cw list. it's also long... don't feel obligated to read. i just needed to say things and be Done with it.]
man. i'm ready for all of the sharing vs non-sharing back and forths to stop.
to be clear: this isn't some "i'm above this argument" thing. on the contrary; i completely see where both "sides" are coming from! i simply mean it shouldn't be so difficult for a select few shit-stirrers to Get that selfshipping is a personal thing, and we should be able to ship in whatever way makes us most comfortable.
if someone is non-sharing, they should be allowed to create those boundaries without being harassed or called "immature" or "delusional" by sharing people. beyond how supremely ableist that is, nobody has the right to say they can't view their f/os in a certain way, no matter if other people don't understand those feelings.
if someone is sharing, they should be allowed to share their feelings for a character openly with other sharing people without being sent hate from non-sharing people who think they're "loose" or who want to be their f/o's "one and only". shaming people for being open to sharing is fucked from multiple "sexual / romantic purity" and "anti poly-[sexual / romantic / platonic] relationships" angles, and nobody has the right to claim sole and total ownership over a character they did not make.
and yet, every couple of weeks, we get posts from a vocal minority making a huge fuss over "the other side", when it's just a vocal minority FROM that other side ALSO making a fuss. and then those vague posts leave their intended orbit and cause more mis-worded posts and misunderstandings and off-the-cuff bigoted statements, and the cycle starts again.
we should theoretically be able to respect each other while focusing that energy on, oh i dunno, chasing harassers out of the community? getting selfshippers who aren't part of a specific marginalized group to help selfshippers from that group when they're harassed, maybe?? especially when the sharing vs non-sharing Thing very often coincides with bigotry; people who are harassing others tend to not just stop at being petty or mean, they make it personal.
and -- not as important but a nice little bonus -- i would think that working towards a community that's more safe for everyone in it would also "coincidentally" (/s) get rid of the shit-stirrers, whether because they were kicked out or because they realized what they were doing and grew as people.
---
[cw ableism, vague death ideation, non-physical self harm mention]
i was originally gonna put this bit in the tags, but i think i should put it under the cut bc it's a little personal + it got too long.
also, i try to stay in my lane and not discuss details about delusions or how to approach them -- i've only experienced them a couple of times, so i'm not going to claim to know much about them -- so if i've overstepped, PLEASE let me know and i'll edit or remove anything i've misspoken about.
but coming from someone who went too deep into selfshipping in the past and worries about the mental health of people who do: It's None Of Your Business!!
delusions aren't morally "bad" or "wrong". holding deep feelings abt a character isn't inherently delusion-based and also isn't morally "bad" or "wrong". and neither of those is the same as -- speaking from experience (above content warnings come into play here) -- being obsessed with a character to the point that you self-isolate and emotionally self harm because you wish so badly that the character was real and you believe there isn't a point to life if you'll never meet that character... and this is also not inherently delusion-based and ALSO not morally "bad" or "wrong".
these separate things -- delusions, deep feelings, and unhealthy obsession -- CAN intersect but just as often don't. none are immoral, and all are deserving of being approached with compassion and respect, in whatever way is most appropriate.
negative, harmful ACTIONS that some people take in these states are worth bringing up to them when it's safe to do so, depending on the details of their situation, but the states themselves don't have any moral weight. ie, if someone's harassing others for sharing their f/o because they're in a dark, obsessive place, that is a morally negative ACTION, not a morally negative mental state. they need to take responsibility for harm they've CAUSED, not for what they're experiencing internally.
but if you're calling people "immature" or "delusional" as an insult, something tells me you're not really considering that! whether through malice or just a lack of compassion, you don't see worth in how another person approaches this community.
you aren't better for thinking of a character a certain way, and neither is the person you're being ableist towards. if no harm is being done to you or others, you're just being a dick for the sake of being a dick. listen to other people, learn, and do better.
if you think someone is genuinely in a bad mental place because of selfshipping (wrt isolating and self harm), approach them as another human being. meet them where they're at. don't patronize them, don't call them "delusional", treat them like someone who has their own thoughts and values.
they may want help, or they may not, and you have to respect them for their choice no matter what YOU think is right. there is no truly right way to approach someone who's in a dark place, but you can at least avoid saying things that FOR SURE will make them feel talked down to, belittled, or shamed. if they aren't ready now, maybe they will be ready for help in the future, and shutting them down will make them less likely to seek that help.
(i was also going to put THIS in the tags but i should probably put it here: when i say 'learn and change' i mean it as a positive. people have the capacity to learn and grow and become better; if you've said something in all of this that can be read as harmful... consider why it's harmful and why you said it.
you aren't the same person you were a year ago. 5yrs ago. 10yrs ago. you have grown and you will continue to grow. but if you can be more aware of it and grow more purposefully and consciously? all the better.)
#i'm worried this doesn't come across well in my writing bc the second half is very personal#but i am wholly neutral towards sharers and non-sharers. the last bit is just because my personal struggle#is based in specific things said by specific people. in this recent round of Bullshit i've only seen these comments coming#from one 'side' but i can also imagine people from either 'side' saying it for a multitude of reasons. so. this is for them too.#ALSO as a forewarning so nobody can claim otherwise: i'm not going to block anyone who interacts w this in earnest...#but i have a quick block reflex for anyone who's clearly just being a dick. 👍🏻#📌 [ my posts. ]#💭 [ my thoughts. ]#ableism -#death ideation -#self harm -#<- the last two are only at the very bottom in a section with separate content warnings.#vent -
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My god, this is going to sound SO silly but I NEED to vent or I'm going to explode.
Do not misunderstand me, I don't want to sound like one of those Beetlebabes haters who use age to complain about the ship even if it's meaningless, but seeing people EXPLICITLY sexualize underage Lydia is TRAUMATING to say the least.
Like, I'm not here to complain about these people because it would be very naive of me to think that they're going to stop because of me or any nonsense like that but... How do you guys usually deal with that? Really, I don't know what to do or think about the situation, I just know that it's bothering me a LOT. I know, I know, it's silly to care about it because I absolutely can't do anything about it, but it still hurts.
I'm sorry, I don't mean to exaggerate or anything, I don't mean to upset people either, but god, I feel so gross seeing this and at the same time I feel guilty for worrying too much or whatever… I saw that in yours blog you mention that you support ship in a sexual way when Lydia is older (Or something like that, forgive my poor memory), so how do you usually react/deal with this type of content? Or does it just not bother you?
I apologize for the outburst, but I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to have a nice experience in the fandom because of this... I just arrived, I don't want to leave because of this, but it's making it IMPOSSIBLE to enjoy. I feel like a dirty pedophile just for shipping, so I think seeing posts like this only makes it worse.
Um, anyway, I appreciate the attention :)
You know what, you bring up a good topic here.
Before we start. I don't kink shame people because it's just not me.
However! I had moments when I was younger (early 20's) that freaked me out when it came to over-sexualizing things (in my case it was bellydancers because that was my hobby at the time) but after a while, I sorta just stopped worrying about it because like you said, it won't change how people feel about their proclivities. The same goes for fandom. I ick after things too. (Example: the Dora the Explorer stuff. holy shit)
Today, I learn that the best way to go about it is to not look for it. Don't seek the stuff that ick's ya. I don't much care for baby toon Lyds in adult situations but I can separate the idea that Lydia is an actual real person. I can take a story as just that. A story.
As for art, I do not like Loli stuff. It's an ick for me. But I also don't judge a person for enjoying it. I would prefer to avoid it and I set my boundaries with my friends accordingly.
Back to Lydia in the Beetlejuice fandom!
Let's say you are a Shipper
Age of consent is a big deal for most here, including myself, but we are also realistic in the sense that many don't think that people give teens enough credit for their own biological functions.
Let's take a step back to reality for a moment. 100%, It's not right for a real-life person to act on things like taking advantage of youth and naivete. However, it can not be dismissed that many people in their youth made choices based on their overactive hormones. I recall being one such teen where I allowed myself to act out in ways that, as an adult, I CRINGE at.
To have Lydia as a 16-18 year-old act out with an undead creep feels plausible. Does everyone here feel that's a comfortable read? No, not at all. Many, like me, prefer to have an older, more informed Lydia make choices that work for her.
Now about Beetlejuice. First off. He's a creep. If it's got tits or whatever suits his fancy, he's gonna jump on it. He's always been that way in media. Except with Lydia. His respect for her, and his treatment of her have always been different from other people. He'll probably take any advantage given to him and if his death was during a plague-riddled time then his view of human women could easily be skewed.
Again it comes to how comfortable you are with his characterization. Do you want him chasing a 12-year-old, a 16-year-old, or an adult? Do you think he would go for body type? Do you think he would choose feelings over physical desires?
Your best bet in navigating the whole Betelyds/Beetlebabes dynamic comes from understanding yourself. Are you confident in separating your choices in romance from alternate depictions? Do you prefer a more Ace approach of no romance/sexuality? Do you like a soft romance with no raunch? Do you want sexuality and passion in a more adult setting?
Check with tags. Look for underage warnings. Talk to writers and artists to see what they do. Skim over or remove yourself from places that ick ya. Ask questions of yourself and others. There is no harm in discovering your boundaries and respecting those who have set theirs.
Now let's say you are a Friendshipper only.
You want Beej and Lyds to be pals with a slight affection for each other that defies a normal buddy pal. Maybe they have something that can't be defined as a friend but also not a romantic relationship. I like to consider this Babes Adjacent. They are not romantically linked but they are bonded. Soul mates without being physical mates.
We have plenty of Babes who love friendship just as much. Some prefer to be called non-shippers, and others don't really care. They just wanna vibe. Some of them like Kid Lyds and her ghostly Boo. They support and care and protect each other like there is no tomorrow.
It's painfully sweet and heartbreakingly loving. So many of us need that in our lives. Unconditional support and protection from things that make us hurt.
In this case search for the & and not the / if you can.
If folks are willing to send me art and fics where this bond is emphasized, I'd appreciate it. I admit I have a fear of finding a fic of someone who is gonna freak when they see my screen name and go "Noooooooo not a Beetlebabe!". That's a stress I don't enjoy. I just wanna vibe and watch these two dorks be happy with each other.
Now to address your last fear, that you feel like a dirty p-word. All you gotta do is know where you stand on your attraction. It comes down to knowing yourself. Personally, I like an older man and older lady (Bi-mama here) but I don't shy away from stories with younger characters. I don't squick because I know my preferences are not reflected in getting lost in a story.
With all the love and support I can send ya through the blog. Please don't feel ashamed for enjoying a ship (friendship or relationship). Just set your preferences and find your inner confidence. Stay polite to those who have different levels of shippiness.
You can navigate the ship. I believe in you.
#ask reply#real talk#preferences#beetlebabes#beetlejuice#fandom stuff#Once in a while we need the real talk#ship and let ship
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i’m entirely new to shifting so i apologize for a stupid or ignorant? question. anyways, i am curious about how sexual relationships work in a DR? is it dangerous to script that in? Does it actually feel real? Any tips appreciated because i obviously want to be shift safely <3
[thanks for this ask!]
[TW: sex]
nono, your question's completely valid! it's not stupid nor ignorant, and i actually would like to thank you for asking that. it's research for a reason. additionally, i don't really see a lot of people talking about this topic, and it's also a learning experience of sorts for me.
now, I'll answer this to the best of my knowledge: most of the things i know are learned online (as well as tips from 18+ discord servers and kinktok). for all intents and purposes, i am still a virgin (yes, in all my DR's as well)—so, what I'll be listing off is just some of the general advice i hear and have asked for. lmfao please don't come after me-
also, I'm not going to attempt to police anyone on this (gods know some of y'all might just disregard this), so.
≿❈≾
as for the answer itself; it works just as well as it does in your current reality. shifting is the act of moving your consciousness to another reality—everything that you perceive there are as real as they are here. everything will work the same, unless you script otherwise, or are going to a world where it's different from what you're used to in your CR. arousal, masturbation, sex, conception, and et cetera—whatever limits you've set for yourself here will also apply there.
scripting sexual relationships isn't dangerous, at least by nature. what you have to be mindful of is how you're approaching those relationships. as it goes for many things, educating yourself on the matter comes first. for example, know what risks are involved, and how you can avoid them. this is easily scriptable—but it's best to stay informed, no?
let's start with the outside perspective of it.
generally, and on an objective level, how would you rate your DR when it comes to sexual relationships? what is sex seen as (a milestone, a celebration, something secret, et cetera)? are there any taboos involved? what constitutes as safe and/or healthy in your DR? think of how the world affects other people's mindsets. it's often said that sexual relationships aren't made for singular pleasure—and it doesn't need to be said that you, as a person, have to consider how your partner is affected by their circumstances, past and present.
on that note; consent and bodily autonomy always top my personal list. that's a fundamental part of my own morals, and a lot of other people's too. it's a simple matter of respect. value your choice, but never force it on other people.
this is where we cross into the more personal boundary of things.
think about your own beliefs and desires, as well as your partner's/partners'. practice communication with them, so there aren't any misunderstandings, no presuppositions. it doesn't matter if you think that these relationships happen in another reality, because they're just as real as the ones you have here. you're dealing with people, like you, who are sentient and intelligent.
i get that there are those who run free without consequence. with reality shifting at hand, it becomes difficult to actively monitor people who promote debasing ways of life. I'm not saying this to imply anything towards you anon, obviously, but it's easy for many to cross lines when there's so much freedom at hand. in that regard, i suppose the best advice i could give you is to be mindful of how you act, and if you end up provoking someone, then to admit blame and do what's needed for forgiveness. might be a bit over the top to put it like that, but it's still a possibility.
≿❈≾
here's some of the general affirmations that I've scripted for myself in the occasion that i have sex lmao. it's a bit short (apologies in advance if it's not as detailed enough as you were hoping), but the idea is there.
not all of these are mine, by the way! i don't take credit for some of the affirmations mentioned. there are also those i found online, as well as ones one of my mutuals suggested to me.
- - -
(1) BODY
I am sexually generous.
I am full of sexual energy.
I exude sexual confidence.
I am in full control of my sexual thoughts, feelings, and behaviours.
Sexual arousal is a fun process that happens easily for me.
I have intense and frequent orgasms that satisfy my body and mind.
My genitals are healthy and normal.
My genitals smell like ____.
I taste like ____.
My genitals function exactly as I want them to and bring intense pleasure to myself and my partner(s).
I am confident and comfortable in my sexual and relationship identities.
I am sexually and emotionally thriving.
I have a seductive aura.
My body language is seductive.
(2) PARTNER
My lover/s enjoy/s my naked body.
I am the best lover my partner/s has/have ever had.
My sexual performance is incredibly enjoyable.
My partner/s respect/s my decisions.
I attract only my ideal person/people.
I am never untoward my partner/s, always respecting their wishes and boundaries.
My partner/s is/are happy to be with me, and they thrive in our relationship just as well as I do.
I never cause harm against my partner/s.
My partner/s is/are never uncomfortable around me.
I am my partner's/partners' ideal lover.
I can provide what my lover/s need/s.
I can satisfy and satiate all my lover's/lovers' desires.
≿❈≾
much love, and happy shifting ❤️❤️
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Idk if you remember me. My Jewish friend thought I was Jewish and it was all just a misunderstanding that got cleared but her family still thinks I am Jewish.
Unfortunately there has been an antisemitic attack near where we live. It got covered in news, her parents found out and freaked out and called me because she was unreachable, asked me about her and then questions about our safety as they were worried that we would both be easy targets, someone would break into her home etc (understandably so) so im order to ease their worries a bit, i told them the truth. That i am catholic and my neighbours know that i am catholic because I spent my childhood there and most people don't know about her being Jewish because it has never really been brought up and people who live relatively further away don't even know she lives with me so she is completely safe in that regard.
And I fucked up. I realise it now, I should have discussed with her first. I definitely do know i fucked up. I thought it would calm them down. But apparently they panicked and called her to come back instead. I genuinely - she herself had said that it was not a big deal to them and she was just saying that to not be made a joke of and she must not even be lying, the recent situation might have changed their opinion. But .. how do i fix this? Can i even fix this? I am genuinely so sorry but idk what to do.
sorry it took a while to respond, this got lost in the inbox.
i can't speak to exactly why they might be worried about her living with someone who isn't jewish, but recent events could definitely be a stressor. It can be really hard to trust goyim on a normal day, but given everything that's happened and how seemingly normal goyim reacted, i wouldn't trust my child would be safe either. that being said, if i remember correctly, you're both adults and she should be able to decide what she wants to do with her own situation. i know it doesn't always work like that, but if she's genuinely fine with the situation then she needs to stand up to her parents and assert a boundary.
i'm not sure how to 'fix' things. there's obviously some underlying lack of trust in goyim harbored by the parents that, while understandable, is just unrealistic. the most you can do is just walk the walk. continue to do what you can to express your support and equal concern for her safety, be a good friend, etc. it's on the parents to calm down and think about it rationally, and respect their daughter's opinion/choices. they're going to have to work this out as a family.
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100 things about you
likes purple, pink, brown, black, and white
you love burger and sinigang
you love to listen to music everytime
loves orange (fruit)
loves to cook
only sleeps when I'm sleepy (sometimes)
you exposed me through social media. ಠ_ಠ
loves hopia
my future chef
madaling mainis pag stressed at malungkot
you are so pogi, I love you
you are smart
you are my best friend
you are strong
you are the answers in all of my why's
you have the prettiest smile
you're unafraid to tell me how you feel and I hope it never change
you love me so much and I love you more
you love to eat
you love kpop songs
your hair suits you
the coolest person I have ever met
the ceo of memedustry
you bought me a stuffed toy and I really appreciate it
you love to do things with me
you are my first in everything
you are perfect
you are caring, strong and beautiful
you are the best
you are an art, a mixture of paint, poetry, and lyrics—a masterpiece
you always give me reassurance that I need because of my overthinking issue
you always try your best to make me happy
you love hug and kisses
you always understands me
you're a selfless person
you always want me to enjoy things
sometimes you act like a baby and it's the cutest thing ever
the most sweetest and good person I had ever met and you will always be like that in my eyes
you care a lot about me more than anything
you always want to fix things together between us if we argue or we had a misunderstanding
you're good in every games you play even though you don't think you are
you love our babies and I hope to see them soon
you make me kilig kilig aways
your voice makes me smile
you have a mole on your finger
you make my life happier just by being in it
you always makes me feel better
you are clingy
the goofiest and the funniest
you love to kiss me
you love to play games with me
you know how to handle me
the jacksons, spandau ballet, eraserheads, loona and twice are your favorite bands
you love your stuffed toys very much
you always let me decide even though I don't want to
you have the prettiest eyes and forehead!! I wanted to kiss them
whenever I feel like I'm the most ugliest person in the world, you always tell me I'm the prettiest and I love you for that
you believed in me when no one else was
you always wanted the best for me
you make me a hundred times more comfortable telling you everything
you're always here by my side when I need you
you're warmhearted
never mong ginawa ang mga bagay na ginawa nila sakin at mga bagay na alam mong ayaw ko
you appreciate and love me and always treats me well
you make me realize there's much more great things in life and I wanna do it all together with you
you're the only person whoever really see me as who I really am
you always know what to make me happy
you were, are, and will always be the risk I'm willing to take
life suddenly becomes worth of living because of you
you only watch movies when you're with me
you love lambings
you remember things I don't
”papaalala ko nalang sayo” is the sweetest thing you've ever said to me
the most passionate and the most loving person I know in this universe
you are my EVERYTHING
nagbabago ang anyo pag nag sisilus
my pahinga sa nakakapagod na araw
this may not be a thing about you but I'm your biggest fan
you make me feel at home, safe, and at peace
you're tall, di kita abot pag gusto kitang i-kiss : (
you're vulnerable, fragile, and sensitive and I promise to try my best not to say things that would hurt you
you are a constant thought in my mind
you like things that make sense
you love one piece
you never judged me
you deserve everything
you are enough
you never disappoint me
you always apologise even if it wasn't your fault
you are generous for everything you do for me
I can totally be myself around you beause I know you'll love me for me
you are honest
you have no boundaries when it comes to your love and respect for me
relationships aren't easy, but you chooses to work on this one over and over again
you always try hard to be a better person for yourself, and for us
never gives up on me no matter what
you inspire me to be the best I can be
you taught me things I never planned to learn
I stopped acting all strong and unbreakable and my vulnerability showed up because your love embraces both my armored and fragile side
you, with your broken heart and aching soul; you still let my love into you even after everything your heart has been through. I love you
the most beautiful things to me about you are the things you won't ever know about yourself. things I only know of, and I may not know everything about you, but I love everything I know.
@hyejana
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Hey Simon! Im looking for some advice on a situation: I play dnd with a group of my friends. Recently, one of the people in our group met another person, and they started hanging out with us, until eventually the group invited them to join dnd. I’ve never been a huge fan of them, as I’ve frequently caught them in lies that they usually try to play off as just misunderstanding the situation.
However, for the past 4 weeks, they’ve been totally ignoring one of the people in our group (the person who originally introduced them to the rid of us) except for at dnd, and have been hanging out with our DM a lot. Apparently they’ve told our DM what their problem is, and after about 3 weeks of this our DMs girlfriend told me what they said was going on. It’s definitely another lie, and it’s a really horrible thing to lie about, but our DM is acting like they’re both causing this problem. Pretty much the rest of the group doesn’t want the liar playing with us or hanging out with us, but our DM seems to think they just need to “work it out” with the person they’re telling lies about this time.
Basically, we’re not really sure how to approach this situation, as the person telling lies just won’t answer any of our texts other than our DM, so we can’t really get them to meet up with us to talk about the situation.
Be direct and willing to give consequences against anyone. Never any wondering what will happen and easy to stick to boundaries.
You need to all meet with the DM and tell them that their position as DM doesn’t give them authority. The group doesn’t want this person, the group decides. The DM can either decide to DM elsewhere, or they can accept the group decision.
The DM doesn’t strike me as a terribly mature person. Give your longer friends the benefit of the doubt or there’s no point in having friends. Trust is a way of maintaining a relationship, and if they don’t trust their long time friends over new ones, then they don’t respect the group anyway and just enjoy what they get from being DM.
Ask them if the newness of association is worth sacrificing the group, because the newcomer is the unknown quantity, not the older member.
I really wish people weren’t so anxious about confrontation. It hampers the conversation and stops all progress, because suddenly the participants are acting on fear and not facts.
Lies are lies. A stranger accusing a long time friend ought to be your first clue. It’s not “it takes two” if one side is lying. Get the group to back the older friend. Tell the DM to either respect the group or there isn’t one.
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Hey this might be a longer question.
So we have VR headsets at work that the employees must take on and off of guests so that the guests don’t mishandle them. Today I was talking to a Muslim lady and she said to me that if I was ever putting a VR set on a lady with a head covering that I should ask her if she’s okay with me possibly touching her covering first and I was like okay yeah fair consent and respect! And then she followed that up with “as a biological male you should ask a woman to put the headset on Muslim women for you.” To which I told her I’m a biological female. And I told her I understand why she’d make the mistake bc I’m very masculine. Anyway I feel like she thinks I’m a transwoman that’s lying to myself and others which makes me feel icky.
I still would probably just not put a headset on a Muslim woman now bc I’m scared she’d be scared about it. Idk I’m so tired of people thinking I’m AMAB. Any advice for how to clear the air when someone assumes this, or was my response good?
Thanks for your question, this is an interesting one! I don't have a simple answer but I'll open my thought process and take what you feel is useful.
I'm going to assume you're a detrans woman even though you didn't state that in your message.
I'm also going to assume not being touched by males is a common boundary for Muslim women - please correct me if I'm wrong.
There are two people who need to be considered: you and a Muslim customer in the future who might assume you're male. You, I assume, have a need to be understood as a woman. She might have the boundary of not being touched by males.
Now I don't know what it's like to have that boundary for religious reasons. Personally I have a similar boundary: I don't want to be touched by males, it makes me feel really uncomfortable. So I emphatize with her.
Then there's the fact that you are female. You aren't male at all. No matter how you look, you are female. I emphatize with you in this: some people assume I'm male. It doesn't feel good.
But are we ourselves at work or are we the perceptions customers and clients have of us? I think the latter is more true. There are usually very little room for nuanced and personal conversations at work. Personally it would make me more comfortable to just assume some clients might assume I'm male and act accordingly if a certain client has a boundary about men touching her. It's a false assumption about you, but it's a fleeting situation. Is it more important she feels like her boundaries are respected or that you feel your identity is validated? Your sex doesn't need validation - you are female. So it's just a misunderstanding.
This feels complicated, still. For example I would be way more uncomfortable about this if the person assumed to be male was just a very masculine woman who had never been on T. At that point it would be just homophobic to refuse to recognize her womanhood, right? Personally I've found some kind of peace with accepting that the permanent effects of my transition will affect how people will see me and it's unreasonable of me to expect all people can comprehend a woman with a deep voice and no breasts. I will expect people who I care about to listen to me. But strangers, not really. I'm just a side character in their story, not myself.
About your response to the customer you had: I think it was good. I would've probably said the same thing. If someone tells you they think you're a male you are definitely allowed to say you're not. But I would probably have the same fear as you do: do people think I'm a trans woman who lies to people? It's a very uncomfortable thought.
One way to avoid uncomfortable situations is to do as the previous client told: ask other female employees to replace you when there's a customer who is a Muslim woman. Not because you are male in any way, but because you don't want to cause an uncomfortable situation to you or her, and you can also explain this to your coworkers. Another route is to do it yourself but ask first: tell that some people have mistaken you for a man in the past but you assure you're a biological female and ask if would the customer be fine with you helping her with the VR set. The third option is to say nothing you wouldn't say to other customers and assume the customer will say if she thinks you're a man and then you can explain.
I think the most important thing is to ask yourself: which of these options cause you the least stress? And also: what do you think about other people's boundaries? What do you think about if someone believes a boundary is broken when it really isn't but it just seems like it?
It's easier to bear these kind of awkward situations if you're in a good place otherwise and have enough support. I know a lot of detrans people talk about not caring how they're perceived but for most people it's important that enough people understand who we really are. So to help you cope with situations like these, it's important you have people in your life who understand you're a female and it might be good if some co-workers also knew you are a female and sometimes weird situations like these happen to you. It would be less lonely to be able to laugh with a co-worker about how you're being male again so they need to replace you temporarily.
My answer might have been a bit different if your question wasn't about some other person's boundaries but just a simple misunderstanding. While I think it's stressful - at least for me - to try to control other people's perceptions of me at all times, you're allowed to explain your situation. For a long time I wondered about all kind of excuses I might use for my appearance. But lately I've come to the conclusion that if I actually want people to understand, I can just tell them what detransition means. In a lot of situations this is too lengthy and I just let people assume whatever but when I feel like it, I might explain my situation honestly. There's nothing shameful in being detrans.
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How do you feel about famous, some might say foundational, radical feminist thinkers, such as Andrea Dworkin and Catharine MacKinnon, both of whom reject the notion of discrete biological sex and who feel that trans women are both true women and provide valuable perspectives in the feminist movement? Why should your view that radical feminism and female liberation are inherently trans exclusive be given any more weight than their opposing views on the matter?
one quote from monique wittig has stuck out to me ever since i first read it: "...for there is no sex. there is but sex that is oppressed and sex that oppresses. it is the oppression that creates sex and not the contrary." (From 'One is not born a woman').
wittig was interesting, to say the least. in this essay she also compared women's oppression to that of enslaved black people multiple times, which ignores black women's realities and is just super misinformed. however, her main point is that womanhood is a class rather than a biological predetermination.
andrea dworkin said that things like lab-created babies, HRT, and transsexuality help create new boundaries and categories for how we think about sex. i honestly disagree with her, and this is where i can also take the time to say that it is okay and good to not blindly agree with every theorist you read.
i bring up wittig and dworkin to make this point: sex, the way i see it, is a biological reality that undeniably exists. male and female sexes have been observed in countless other species. this debate of gender identity and the denial of sexual dimorphism exists only in humans, because we have the ability to think. thinking gives us the ability to create stereotypes, oppression, and discomfort with our sex. gender abolition, aka the destruction of the boxes created to classify sex, would, in my opinion, fix this entire argument. for sex would still exist in a world without gender, but there would be no need to argue about "who is truly a woman" or "what is a woman."
i think that even wittig and dworkin's POVs here are leading to the same thing that i am talking about: gender abolition. we may have slightly (very slightly!) different opinions on how to achieve it, but the end goal is the same, and i respect their views. i can't speak much for catharine mackinnon since i haven't read much of her work yet.
i think you are also misunderstanding my position on trans issues. i have problems with modern trans activism and modern gender ideology for promoting individualism, postmodernism, denial of sexuality, and consumerism/medical treatments without being fully informed on the consequences (and how medical transitioning is encouraged in minors within trans activism). i have no problems with dysphoric people as a whole, nor do i have any problems with grown adults who have made the informed decision to undergo transitioning. i have a lot of empathy for these people.
what i do not have empathy for is people who do not undergo any sort of transition at all (nor do they plan to), and say that just calling themselves a different gender changes their material reality. this is a problem i mainly have with nonbinary people, especially the type that go around saying their heterosexual relationships are gay because they identify as nonbinary. this also goes the same for the absolute hoards of teens i've seen calling themselves "gay trans men" with no intention to transition or even try to pass as men. i find it insulting.
my opinion floats somewhere in the realm of thinking about biology, presentation, identity, and societal roles as things that can be contradictory. when i say women should be able to dress however they want and act however they want and still be women, many people say "i agree! which is why trans women should also be able to do that!" in theory--yes. trans women are people and people should be able to do that. but many TRAs expand on this point to mean "trans women should be able to dress stereotypically male, not change their body at all, not change any of their mannerisms, be viewed completely as male in society, and still be women." i disagree. we can work to abolish stereotypes while also acknowledging the difference between gender nonconformity and gender conformity in "cis" vs trans people.
i more or less agree with chimamanda ngozi adichie's view: trans women are trans women. it is silly to pretend that they are in the same class of people as biological women, and it is silly to pretend that they are viewed as 100% men by all of society. adichie highlighted the fact that in order to address society's treatment of women and trans women, we need to acknowledge the fundamental difference between the two.
#radical feminism#radfems interact#gender critical#gender abolition#trans#ok i'll use the trans tag bc i really do want other opinions on this#gender nonconformity#asks
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