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engurishu · 3 months

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late happy bday to tsunotarou woohoo !!

+ baby malleus i painted in gouache that was raffled out wahahahuhue

#i made this a while ago but it was for a cse #so i had to wait until the event was finished to post #WELL now that it is i present to u eepy malleus :)#twisted wonderland #disney twisted wonderland #disney twst #malleus draconia #my art #engurishu☆art

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tokusaatsus · 1 year

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a. subaru — lovelorn

warnings: potentially unrequited love, a single religious reference

Is it possible to yearn for someone who is already yours?

Subaru asks himself this question on the daily. It should not be possible—after all, to love is to belong. Heartstrings intertwined, the red thread of fate connecting you.

He loves you. He always has. He always has. It’s hard not to, after all. Your smile could devastate cities. You’re blinding. His soul is bonded to yours.

And yet.

There is an ache, something that he cannot quell. It forces him to reevaluate, to think. What if that love is simply not enough? It hurts, sometimes. All those things he cannot say, words swallowed up by the void of emptiness that is the thought of life without you. I don’t think this is working out. I’m sorry.

I don’t think I love you anymore.

But that’s a lie, isn’t it? Because he does, he does, he knows he does. What is he, without you? His heart aches; tell me, what is the difference between love and ruin?

You walk a fine line, a razor’s edge—that reckless, heady feeling. Throwing yourself into your own destruction. It’s dangerous, so very dangerous. To love is to lose, but he has lost enough already, hasn’t he? Subaru wonders if he’s just getting stuck in his own head.

How much is he willing to give up, in this hopeless pursuit?

Tell me, tell me. What does it mean when love just isn’t enough anymore? Was your love ever real in the first place? His heart cracks, breaks, shatters. He cries, folding his arms around himself. Daikichi noses at him, whining softly. Where is it, he says, to the empty air. Where is my love?

I don’t want to be alone, he had said once, and that is the crux of the matter. He loves and loves and loves and he loses and loses and loses. He has done it all, loved and lost in equal measure. Trickstar, the brightest star, Polaris, a guiding light; but who will help the boy in need of guidance?

He gets on his knees, prays. Father, who art in Heaven. He’s not religious. Still, the first time he ever heard those words, he felt them resonate with him. My father, in Heaven. Tell me, tell me. You gave up everything for what you loved. Am I destined to do the same?

I love you, Subaru says, desperately.

(Please believe me.)

You smile, Mona Lisa reborn. I know.

So why? He asks, pained.

(You are my everything.)

You simply stare, regret in every line of your face. I’m sorry.

Why isn’t it enough? He cries out, tears streaking down his face.

(My heart is breaking.)

Your eyes are sad. Some things just aren’t.

wc. 449 words

reze txt. something compelled me to do this. sorry. i swear i love subaru (and trickstar), enjoy, 🐼. i’m sensing a pattern in some of my works…

taglist. (fill out the form or send an ask to be added!) @prpne @gabirii @kazemiya @engurishu @kkomaism @asbestieos @mikctp @lilikags @lolthia @unwantedsleep @hasumilvr @head-full-of-empty @pr3tty-jennie @narumika @birthday-of-music

#✒️...scribbles!#akehoshi subaru x reader #enstars x reader #akehoshi subaru #trickstar #enstars #esworks

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nazukisser · 2 years

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➥ request; shu with a playful/bright s/o {req}

➥ pairing; itsuki shu x gn!reader

➥ tags; fluff hcs

➥ word count; 534

➥ message from qian; is this my first time writing for shu help

✦➤ Overall, Shu really loves your positive disposition compared to his. He's a little jealous of how carefree you seem, though he knows that you may not really be as careless as you seem. You brighten up his day from the haunting voices in his mind, and he could never fully express how much he loves you. Word is art, yet in terms of truthful words, this kind of art is a skill he struggles in. Just know that he truly does appreciate everything you do for him in the bottom of his heart.

✦➤ His music becomes a little less in tense and somehow a little more caring; Mika was one of the first to notice. Some of Valkyrie's fans notice too, but it's a change that is welcomed by a lot of people. It was different than his usual style of art, one which he had deemed superior in the past, but now, this new, softer, style is something he can't seem to let go of. He's fond of it, not because it's necessarily perfect by his standards, but it's full of his own feelings for you and he simply can't help but adore the things that remind him of you- especially the things he's made for you.

✦➤ If there's one thing that Shu loves to make more than outfits, it's little trinkets that you'd love- especially if they're in the European style he adores so much. He could spend all day making those for you, even when Mika whines about the day of the Live being sooner and sooner by the day- he was simply not inspired to work on it. He was inspired to make something for you. Thus, that was what he would be doing today, kakaka. He makes anything he'd think that you'd like- he'd learn how to make it for you.

✦➤ Whenever he feels he's about to lose his mind, when the voices start talking again and he feels like he's going to spiral, he remembers your voice and your words, like a guiding light out of the darkness. He always feels like you're there with him, and your words are always a source of comfort to him, even if you didn't intend for them to be at the time you had said it. He takes these words to heart and cherishes them greatly.

✦➤ When the two of you started dating, the people who didn't know the two of you were quite shocked, though the ones who knew you quite well weren't much at all surprised. It's the little things that show how much the two of you rely on each other and complete each others' lives, and the outward oppositeness of the two of you were what was shown to others. That is what most people looked at and talked about, and people gossiped and made rumors based on their, quite frankly, inaccurate assumptions. Upon hearing this, one could hear a yell from Shu, but it wasn't long before he came to realize that those imbeciles needn't not your attention nor his. They were insignificant to your lives as they were inconsequential, and neither of you needed to be bothered with such fools.