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existentialflirt · 9 months

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Finished s2 of Good Omens and I am UNWELL. Because I need to yell about it, I'm very sorry. It is going under a cut if anyone who is following me hasn't finished and is allergic to spoilers. Idek. Idek. I have been a wreak. I woke up early and binged the last two and uggggh the end. Fuck. Right. Under the cut we go.

So....so uh, where to start that won't get me angry again? To say that I have ISSUES with the ending is an understatement because look fucking look, this is not about the ship. I mean it is but it isn't, it's about the fact that it does not make sense for Aziraphale. Is does not and I'm going to unpack that in a second but first i want to talk about the canonization of an apparent rare pair (I don't know. I don't tend to lurk in single fandom spaces much and I'm pretty new to Good Omens, but Mo has been and he mentioned the fandom quite fancied Beelzebub and Gabriel as an item so fine). I do not understand it as an arc if it wasn't supposed to twig something in our angel's pretty little head like oh hey, this seems familiar. I understand it's a way to free up the head angel position in heaven and that's all well and good but the writing is usually so much tighter than that so I call it sloppy. AND I DO GET THAT THIS ISN'T THE END BUT SEASON 3 IS A LONG WAY OFF AND WHO KNOWS WITH THIS STRIKE AND THE STUDIOS BEING MONSTERS LIKE FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. I mean yes Neil has promised if he cannot get it renewed as a series, he will get it done another way and I trust him. gdi, i trust him because that ending destroyed me.

Right so, I'm getting incoherent, sorry.

Now, if we want to talk rationally, it does make sense for Aziraphale to get sweet talked by Metatron (and presumably God, by that measure). I do. He gave him coffee and talked like a dear old man, really playing up the freedom he'd have to continue to associate with Crowley. Combined with that, Aziraphale having a lot of doubts about what's going on in heaven, since oh you know, the whole Job incident (loved that whole story, my god, the end murdered me and set me down in a shallow grave. In a good way), and that's partially from Crowley's influence. But why in heaven would he think that offering Crowley to be reinstated as an angel would please him at all?????

Crowley has made it extremely clear since he fell that he doesn't give two shits about any side but his (which in time extended to theirs, Aziraphale and him against the world. At one point almost literally). So why??? Why would he think it's something he'd want, even with a nice coat of paint? I mean, maybe it could be said that he was blinded by Crowley's acts of kindness and mercy and thought that maybe if he spun it as they can go up there and change things, that Crowley's distaste toward heaven has to do with the fact that he could run it together. It wasn't. He was mad about unanswered questions and the prospect of the universe, which he played a part in creating, being destroyed. (I have a lengthier head canon about that, tbh, which is will pen in time). It just doesn't serve any narrative for the characters aside from we're setting up for the third season on a cliffhanger (and yes, yes, Neil couldn't have predicted the WGA/SAG-AFRA strike. He says he had been working on it but stopped for the strike, which good on him. We stan, but also god what piss poor timing to destroy the fans with this angst)

Now look, the performances are gorgeous. Always perfect. David and Micheal are incredible together and I would have been FINE been FINE with that argument in the store, Crowley practically begging Aziraphale to run away together and that desperate fucking kiss, but I don't understand Azirapale remaining resolute. I don't. I really don't. He should have done....well, so many things instead that would have been a better close to this particularly romantic arc.

Argh. Anyway Mo and I will be mostly sticking with season 1/Book canon and cherry picking from season 2 because we are coping or diverting that ending so they can have their US TIME god fucking dammit.

As a side note: I did not appreciate Maggie and Nina lecturing Crowley about him needing to be more emotionally cognizant about his feelings toward Aziraphale. Like, I'm sorry. I'm not trying to be obnoxious here, but Crowley is as clearly in love with Aziraphale as anyone can be. He makes time for him, indulges the angel, and is very protective. In season one he also begged Aziraphale to run away with him. He literally wants nothing but his car and to be with Aziraphale and he rarely appeared too conflicted about it. Yes, he has demurred about them being together but that has nothing to do with his feelings and everything to do with the fact that Aziraphale is rather oblivious when it comes to his own emotions. Crowley is the one that has emotional intelligence. Aziraphale needs to be walloped over the head about it. Hell, I would have preferred Maggie and Nina talk to Aziraphale and Metatron talk to Crowley as a bit of an inversion. Could you imagine, God knowing how Crowley is really not great with this whole being evil thing deep down and maybe even feeling a bit bad about casting him out, so sends Metatron to offer him a job (that would have been fitting of his former rank, to boot). Crowley tells him to eat shit, he and Aziraphale have a moment in the bookstore, Crowley ranting and raving about the offer and they should maybe fuck off for awhile and Aziraphale finally opening up that big box of feelings and realizing what Crowley has given up for him, risked for him, and oh my god, I should save this for a thread idea.

Anyway, whew sorry for this. I just needed to get it out in words.

#*sighs* this is no shade toward Neil #honestly #I've skimmed a few articles and seen some tweets where he definitely does not mean to leave at this #so I'm fine #I really am #I'm not #but I still think it's sloppy and more serves THE SERIES as a piece of media than the characters or narrative #and I can't stress enough how tight the writing has been in this series so maybe that may play a part in my annoyance #it was a fine ending for anything of similar ilk but not Good Omens #for this series it was sloppy #if you need me I'll be trying to dig out of a fresh grave and gaslighting myself into a happy ending #Good Omens Spoilers tw #Good Omens Spoilers cw #spoilers tw #spoilers cw

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carry-on-snowbazzing · 3 years

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My 5 best of 2020 (in 2021 😂)

1. A summer day ☀

"Well, Baz! Do you want to move?" Penelope yelled, already in the car (a certain MG dated 1967).

Simon studied his own reflection in the rearview mirror, running a hand through his bronze curly tuft and resulting in even more messiness.

"A minute!" was the answer from a few floors above the apartment.

Penelope rolled her eyes and picked up her Iphone.

Shortly after, hurried footsteps were heard coming down the stairs and Baz, after closing the door, got into the car.

Simon leaned out of the back seat and kissed him on the cheek.

He smiled and, starting the engine, exclaimed:

"Destination: fun!"

Later there were four of them getting out of the car: Baz with a beach umbrella over his shoulder, Simon struggling with a giant inflatable pink flamingo, Penelope with a cooler bag, and Agatha with another bag, containing beach towels and sunscreen.

"The weather forecasts were right; today’s a perfect day for the sea," Penelope commented as she slipped off her flip-flops and dropped her bag into the sand.

"Edward shines like a fairy!" Simon yelled, putting on a pair of sunglasses and pointing to Baz.

"Stop it, Snow," he laughed, "and give me my glasses back; all this sunshine stuns me."

Trying to ignore them, Agatha took off her cover-up and began to rub off the protection angrily.

"Whoever dives himself last is a pixie!" Simon yelled, throwing his t-shirt and starting to run towards the sea with Penelope at his heels.

Several splashes and laughter later, the two returned wet, smiling and hungry.

Meanwhile, Baz and Agatha had dedicated themselves to crossword puzzles and to the horoscope.

"Agatha, there must be some butter and turkey sandwiches in the cooler," Penelope said as she wrapped herself in her towel.

"I couldn't find anything better for you than beef carpaccio," she said to Baz.

He smiled making 'OK' with both thumbs.

"And for me?" Agatha asked, offended that her friend hadn't thought of her too.

"Fruit salad" she replied. "I know you're on a vegetarian diet."

Agatha blushed feeling a little guilty and muttered something like "Oh, thank you".

Everyone literally devoured their lunch, because, as Simon ruled on his fifth butter sandwich, "The sea makes you hungry."

They gossiped a bit about their old classmates, wondering if Gareth still had his belt buckle as a wand and if Trixie had a fight with his girlfriend.

They lost track of time after falling asleep in the early afternoon sun.

It was the sound of a notification that woke Agatha, who, after seeing her mother's message ('Where are you? Coven party tonight!'), made a shrill sound that woke the others too.

"Damn, I'm in mega-delay!" she complained, sitting up and hastily gathering his things.

Seeing her so agitated, no one dared contradict her and they hurried too.

Before leaving for the return, all already in the car, Simon took out a Polaroid from the trunk (not an easy feat, given the bulky mass of the flamingo) and urged them:

"Wait! Say 'cheese'!"

Everyone posed, waiting for the flash.

Once the picture was taken, Simon reached for the film that had just come out of the instant camera, but found himself clutching a slice of Emmental in his fingers.

Baz couldn't help himself and laughed uncontrollably.

"Tyrannus Basilton Grimm-Pitch!" Simon bursted, but he couldn't bear a grudge and joined in the general laughter.

___________________________________________________

2. Shopping (Big & Little) 🥄

"They'll be emptying the mall, those two" Agatha commented, looking at the clock on the kitchen wall and adding another egg to the bowl.

"Probably" replied Penelope, who was handling the curry risotto.

"They've been away for three hours!" Agatha insisted, "and with two credit cards!".

Penelope gave her a look like 'what can we do?' and again consulted the handwritten note attached to the refrigerator with a magnet (shaped like a scone).

"Oh, I forgot the onion!" she moaned after a quick glance, "my mother would kill me if she knew!".

She went back to the stove and for a few minutes they remained silent, one intent on vigorously banging the whips, the other busy slicing the bulb.

Once Agatha had baked the chocolate cake (wiping a non-existent sweat with her glove) and Penelope had remedied her mistake, the girls dropped onto the sofa.

They were just debating which movie to watch that night when they heard the key turn in the lock and Simon exclaim from the entrance:

"We’re at home!"

The two joined them in the living room and Baz asked:

"Curry and chocolate?"

Penelope nodded.

"Sometimes I wish I was a vampire; just smell a dish to understand if the doses are right or wrong," she sighed.

"Shopping?" Agatha asked, looking at the numerous envelopes they both had in their hands and casting a reproachful look at Simon.

"There were the sales" he tried to justify himself, shrugging his shoulders.

"Hurry up; you’ll show us your spoils of war after dinner" Penelope ordered.

"What do you think?" Simon began, smugly showing a set of jeans for Baz and a giant jar of sour cherries scones.

Penelope seemed to try not to roll her eyes.

"I stayed on the intellectual side" Baz said, pulling a stack of books and a pack of pastel highlighters out of a bag.

"I need them for the college" he explained to Agatha, who was trying to get hold of the markers.

"And you haven't seen the piece of resistence!" Simon shrieked, grabbing a smiling Baz by the wrist and dragging him into the nearest room.

They came out moments later walking backwards (in what was supposed to be an imitation of Michael Jackson's moonwalk), so they could only see their backs.

"3, 2, 1 ..." Baz counted.

"Ta daaaan!" Simon exclaimed as they turned at the same time.

They wore matching gray sweatshirts; both had a black molded spoon.

'Big' was written on Baz's, while Simon's 'Little'.

"Awww" the girls screamed in unison, in the grip of a fangirl attack (which managed to make Agatha look adoring too).

"We have a pair for you too" Baz said, handing Penelope a black t-shirt with 'Brownie' on it, while Simon gave Agatha a white one with 'Blondie' on it.

"Thanks, guys" Penelope murmured moved and Agatha initiated a group hug.

photos references

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3. Anniversary 💞

here

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4. Ops! 🧴

Simon knocked for the tenth time on the bathroom door:

"Occupied!" Baz yelled for the tenth time.

"And sorry, but I can't hold it anymore anymore ..."

Simon abruptly released the handle, abandoning his irritated tone.

He let out a cry, muffled by the hands that he immediately brought to his mouth.

Baz was shirtless in front of the mirror, glaring at his own reflection.

Everything was perfectly normal, except for his hair: it had turned from raven to red.

Fawn red.

"If you tell anyone about this, Snow, I will end you" he growled menacingly.

Simon stood there, speechless. When he had regained the use of his mouth, he barely stifled a laugh and intoned:

“Weasley is our king

he always lets the Quaffle in ... "

From Baz's look, he knew it would be wiser to stop, so he did it.

He approached cautiously and asked gently:

"What happened to you?".

"I wish I knew; I was taking a normal shampoo shower" sighed Baz.

Meanwhile Simon had reached the sink and was looking closely at the bottle of the citron and bergamot scented blend.

"It doesn't seem to have anything strange" he then ruled, placing it back on the shelf.

"Indeed; I went to get it from my home in Hampshire; Daphne can only find it in our town's herbalist's shop," Baz replied sadly.

"I really can't explain it" he went on, unable to get over it.

"My sister gave it to me ..." he stopped suddenly.

He clapped her forehead and turned on the lock screen of his smartphone.

"Today is April 1st," he murmured.

He took the vial in one hand and, with the ivory wand in the other, exclaimed:

"Show me your secrets!".

The writing on the label changed from 'Shampoo with citrus notes' to 'Permanent color intense red'.

"MORDELIAAAAA!" he screamed as Simon rolled with laughter.

"April Fool!" he managed to exclaim between a laugh and another.

That’s totally inspired by a fanart of @vkelleyart 💖 : that

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5. Trick or treat? 👻

"Well, Baz! If you don't move, we'll only have the sub-brand candy left!" Simon railed.

With all the peace of mind he could, Baz went down the stairs and joined his screaming boyfriend, who was immediately silent at his sight.

"Morgana, Basilton; you really mean it" Penelope commented, watching him as she lit another candle to put in the Jack o 'lanterns carved by Simon and Baz (which occupied all the flat surfaces of the apartment).

"I've been doing some accurate researches over the last week" he began, making a theatrical gesture in his vampire cloak.

"You even have the same jacket as Gary Oldman" she observed excitedly.

He, in response, gave her a perfidious look, baring his fangs.

Simon was still in his silence and couldn't take his eyes off him.

"What's up Snow, the cat got your tongue?" Baz asked, amused.

He answered with a tongue sticking out and approached him with a raised eyebrow (in perfect Baz style).

"Wow" he commented after kissing him on the cheek.

"Enjoy yourselves!" Penelope exclaimed as they came out hand in hand.

"Where do we go now?" Baz asked.

Simon moved with great ease between one bell and another, meticulously illustrating the specialties offered by each house.

His phrases were: "Here you can always find top quality stuff", or "No, better to avoid an indigestion".

After scouring all the houses on the first five blocks, Simon had an epiphany.

"For a thousand snakes! Baz, we absolutely have to go to the 'Spooky night' party!" he screamed, making him jump.

"Crowley, Snow! Calm down!" he retorted irritably, adjusting the cuffs of his shirt.

"You don't understand," Simon insisted.

"Our loot is loser when compared to everything you can find there; Strawberry Blood Drip, Every Flavour Beans, Pumpkin PIE, Butterbeer and, hold on ... Oreo with Orange Cream!"

Baz, seeing him so excited ('like a child', he thought), couldn’t say no to him (although he wanted to go home more than anything else; his feet protested against Count Dracula's boots).

"And where would it be?" he asked, trying not to smile.

"A couple of blocks from here; hurry up!" Simon urged him, taking him by the hand and starting to run.

"A delusion!" Simon snapped, leaving the bag full of sweets on the doormat.

"What happened?" Penelope asked Baz, who had just closed the door behind him and limped desperately as he headed for the sofa.

"In short at that damn party they had finished everything and told us our costumes sucked" he explained.

Simon was with his arms folded, all sulking, sitting in the armchair.

"Look at their costumes! And let me have something to eat, rather!" he barked.

Penelope approached him and, looking at him tenderly, reassured him:

"We always have our repertoire of horror films."

Simon shrugged, hitting the nearby lamp.

"And I was prepared for any eventuality," she went on, snapping her fingers and popping up a pack of Oreos with orange cream.

Simon's face cleared, illuminated by a huge grin.

__________________________________________________

Ty @letraspal for tagging me 💕

That’s all; hope u like it! 💜

Happy new Year! ✨

#snowbaz #sorry cuz i'm late #my 5 best of 2020 #hope u enjoy

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lilolilyrae · 4 years

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Be my Valentine

Read on ao3

Good Omens (Aziraphale/Crowley) - nonbinary Crowley, post-almost apocalypse, domestic fluff, established, very light angst

1.2k words | rated Gen, no warnings

♥ ♥ ♥

Valentine's day is coming up!

While all over London- all over the world, in fact- couples are already discussing the should we or should we not celebrate it, are we giving gifts or just doing something together, Crowley and Aziraphale didn't really talk about celebrating it at all.

Aziraphale knows that the popular modern style of the holiday with many pinks and hearts isn't really Crowley style, so he guesses that it probably isn't their favorite holiday, either. He doesn't want to push the demon into doing something they don't want to do- they've had enough of that for a lifetime.

On the other hand, it is always very nice to do something for Crowley, show them that they deserve it... And not doing anything on the day most everyone else does something for or with their significant other just seems wrong.

In the end, Aziraphale figures that he can just do something nice without telling the demon what it is about.

How about going to a restaurant- the Ritz, it's fancy enough to fit to the special day, and it is somewhere they've been to before, so Crowley won't think something's up. Plus, it's filled with all kinds of dressed up people on dates on a normal day, so it probably won't be too different on valentine's.

Crowley, meanwhile, makes plans of their own.

They don't talk to Aziraphale about them, either- they don't know whether the angel arrived in this century enough to notice the meaning of holiday, he definitely hasn't said anything about it...

Whatever, a little forced learning by doing never hurt nobody, right?

Crowley themselves likes valentine's day. First because of the consumerism, second because of the way relationships tend to be destroyed on the very day of love, of course. They are a demon after all.

For them and Aziraphale, though, they are willing to do it properly- no crazy capitalistic gifts, no arguments, definitely no public proposals.

Just love. Doing something for their angel.

Deciding to celebrate valentine's day was easy- choosing what exactly to do, not so much. What does the angel like that he doesn't already have?

Mornings. Aziraphale likes mornings.

Finally, the fourteenth of February comes around.

The sun is slowly rising.

Crowley didn't sleep at all the night before- not because they had that much to prepare, but because the other option would have been to get up extra early. And Crowley hates getting up early.

Well, they hate getting u, period, and they especially hate a) alarm clocks and b) getting up without having had a healthy amount of time to wake up naturally. Jumping out of bed the way the angel does even if he did sleep instead of reading all night would leave Crowley all shivery and in a very bad mood.

Thus, no sleep that night.

They hope Aziraphale didn't notice that something is up- they still sometimes spend the night apart, but it's gotten seldom, in fact the last time Crowley spent a night at Aziraphale's place was weeks ago now. Little time for an immortal, of course, but still- they notice the passing of time, seconds, minutes, days, the same way humans do.

Meanwhile, Aziraphale is getting antsy.

The reservation at the Ritz is for dinner, so there's plenty of time for Crowley to arrive before he has to go and drag them over, but still- he doesn't want to end up having to do this, and Crowley isn't a stranger to sleeping for days, so...

And Crowley didn't go home with him last night, but to their flat instead.

They haven't done this in weeks, and not in months without an explanation.

What if Crowley knows that it is valentine's day, suspects what Aziraphale is planning and is avoiding him on purpose?

Or worse, much worse, what if Aziraphale got it all wrong and the demon really likes the holiday and is now sulking because they think Aziraphale doesn't want to celebrate it with them?

He hopes not...

Aziraphale is almost ready to storm out the door and go to Crowley's flat. Still, he forces himself to stay calm. It's six am. Crowley isn't awake for hours yet anyway, so they definitely wouldn't have had time to come over. He should just sit back, make a cup of hot chocolate... And stop nervously twisting his hands.

Sitting down, Aziraphale takes a book from the coffee table and opens it at the marked page.

After a while he realises that he hasn't read a single word.

Right then the doorbell chimes- huh? Who's at the bookstore so early in the morning?

Crowley, apparently! And in his hands-

"Are those- red roses, dearest? For me?"

"Well, I'm not just carrying them around for the postman?! Ngk. Just take them, Angel..."

Aziraphale takes the beautiful flowers with a delighted smile and blushes sweetly when Crowley presses an awkward peck to his cheek before sauntering inside.

"What's this about, my dear? I didn't think you celebrated valentine's day."

"Oh, so you do know what today is? Good, saves me the explanation. Well. Course I only celebrated it with temptations before, making people spend too much money or demand too much from their partners or whatever, but. That was before, right? And now I'm with you, properly, and I've never been with anyone before but I know you gotta do something nice for them on valentine's, so, ugh- angel, say something, I'm done monologuing here!"

Aziraphale laughs and pulls Crowley into a fierce hug before leaning back and pressing a kiss to their lips.

"I love you, Crowley, my dearest, thank you!" he smiles down at the flowers. "I'll get a vase for my present..."

"They're just flowers, not your present." Crowley grumbles.

"Oh, because a demon doesn't give presents?" Aziraphale laughs and turns away to find a vase before halting mid-motion. "Wait. You didn't say not a present, you said not your present- what is my present, then?"

"Well, you like mornings and you like food, so I figured a picnic in the park while there aren't many people yet, which reminds me, we should get going if we-"

Aziraphale interrupts them with a gasp when he realises what time it is.

"Oh, Crowley, you shouldn't have! You got up so early just for me? I'm surprised you even woke at your alarm!"

"I absolutely should have" Crowley grumbles, shifting awkwardly on the spot. "And I didn't get up early, I just didn't go to sleep."

Aziraphale laughs heartily at that before turning around and searching for a vase.

"Oh, my dear fellow, that is so very you! I must say, a picnic sounds delightful right now- we'll have a very food driven day then, as I got us reservations for the Ritz tonight!"

Crowley blinks owlishly at him.

"What? Why"

Aziraphale puts the flowers into the water.

"Because it's valentine's day, of course! Did you think I hadn't planned anything?"

Crowley just shakes their head and takes Aziraphale's hand.

"Whatever. Now come on, angel- I've got a good basket in the car."

"A food basket! Delightful!"

"You're so easy to please" Crowley snorts, walking outside with the angel in tow.

"Oh, as if you are any better- I bet I could just get you the wine they serve at the Ritz without any restaurant at all and you would be entranced!"

Crowley tilts their head. They can't deny that without lying, and they aren't ever lying to their angel.

"th'Ritz is nice, though" they say before opening the passenger door of the Bentley for Aziraphale.

"Oh thank you! And it is, isn't it? Oh, don't drive so fast, dearest, just because there aren't many people out so early doesn't mean- Crowley! You almost hit that traffic light, and I mean hit it physically not run a red light, you do that all the time anyways!"

"Oh, come on, you know the Bentley would never" Crowley grumbles, but obediently reduces the speed to 70mph. Because it's valentine's day.

♥ ♥ ♥

Written for @ineffablehusbandsweek 's Ineffable Husbands Week Challenge, previously posted on ao3!

Feel free to reblog!!!

#gomens #lilo writes #lilo writes fanfic #fanfic #ineffable spouses #ineffable husbands #good omens #ineffable husbands fic #the 666 words ineffable husbands series #valentine's day #ineffable husbands week #instant popular #popular #20 notes on #14.02.20

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