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sonnetthebard · 3 years

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A Note on One of My Comfort Characters.

This is long, but I wanna speak out on my thoughts on my best boy Hidgens. I think we all have to acknowledge (and I know among the Hidgens lovers this is kinda scandalous) that Hidgens has done some pretty bad things. I mean, his actions in TGWDLM can almost be justified because of the world-ending circumstances causing him to become a bit... confused. His heart was in the right place if we are to belive his speech to Emma. He seemed like he genuinely believed the fact that this was going to save the world. The fact that life was going to become a musical was just an added perk. But... I don’t think we can overlook the entirety of Hatchetfield Ape Man. Now, I’m fairly sure Nick Lang has mentioned that he’s been struck by lightning, and if we are to consider the initial proposed backstory for him with his Working Boys to be cannon (where he had to watch them die) then... he’s had a pretty traumatic past. Theatre is obviously a coping mechanism for him, and the motive for at least the events of Hatchetfield Ape Man.

I think it’s still perfectly fine to like him and to see his softer side. To giggle at his dorky side, and to make fun AUs and Headcannons about him, and to love this quirky little man. So long as you’re not making him out to be a saint, or excusing the things he’s done... it is okay to vibe with Hidgens. There’s a reason we like him, and it’s because he was written with a strong personality that, lets face it, a lot of the Starkid demographic is gonna relate to. That, and in general he’s an interesting, well-written and quirky character. The Langs knew that. Jeff knew that when he wrote Show Stopping Number. Hell, even Robert knows it and loves him (in spite of the gentle reminders that he’s not a good person). There’s a fine line between appreciating a good character and... becoming an apologist for them. The truth is, it is not okay to be a Hidgens apologist at this point in cannon. It’s not okay to justify the fact that he has both murdered and attempted murder. It wasn’t self defense. It’s not okay. And we can’t act like it is. We can’t glorify it. And at this point, I’m pretty sure we’re all trying to forget Hatchetfield Ape Man happened. But... we can acknowledge that that’s one reality in a fictional universe with a proven multiverse. And we can still enjoy his character. It’s like the rest of the villains you love. You know what they’re doing is wrong, but you still sing their songs, and draw their arts, and mimic their style. You just... don’t follow in their footsteps.

The whole moral of that little talk: you can still like Hidgens so long as you acknowledge that he isn’t a saint. I personally love a lot of Hidgens AUs I’m seeing outside of the Ape Man!Cannon Hidgens, and I’ve seen people make some really fun headcannons based on cannon aspects of his personality and character. And I love those. I live for those. As I’ve said... he’s a comfort character. I love singing Show Stopping Number (have you seen my handle?), I cosplay Hidgens, one of my OCs (children) is Hidgens’ niece- who also has realities withing the Hatchet-multiverse where she does some not great things, and realities where she’s a hero. The situation is complex. But if you like the character... you’re perfectly valid. Just be careful you aren’t going too far. Love you all, and if you have any thoughts to add please do! Just be nice about it in the same way I was in this post. Please. I’m writing this to express an opinion, not be attacked.

#starkid #starkid thoughts #the guy who didn't like musicals #nightmare time #hatchetfield ape man #professor henry hidgens #henry hidgens #god i love this man #i really do #he is my theatre spirit animal #and dream role #and i love him so dearly #but i do acknowledge he's a villain #and that's an important thing to note #please don't kill me #or cancel me

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sweetsassymusic · 3 years

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The Long Kaz Rant I Told Myself I Wouldn’t Write, But Here We Are

This is probably an unpopular opinion. And I hope it doesn't come across as confrontational or anything because I don't mean it that way. But I've always been super confused by the way Kaz is accepted, basically across the entire fandom, as either morally gray or straight up villainous? He doesn’t really seem like either of those things to me. On a surface level, obviously there are things he’s done that are normally considered evil. He’s stolen, he’s killed, he threatened a child, he gouged out someone’s eye. And that’s all pretty bad, right? But it completely ignores the context given in the books. (More after the cut because this got too long...)

There’s a difference between doing something evil and doing something that’s shocking, “dark,” or difficult to watch.

Before I read the books, I heard fans discuss all the horrible things Kaz does. And the way people talk about him, I was expecting him to be… Feral Kaz – someone who delights in doing horrible things because he’s just so twisted and angry. The author herself even referred to him on her blog as being utterly despicable. Wow! This guy must really go out of his way to hurt innocent people, huh? So when I sat down to actually read it, I was so surprised. Most (if not all?) the killings were done on some level of self-defense. His “murder victims” were actual evil people trying to kill him or someone he loved. And the reason he threatened a child was because the only alternative was killing her – something he would never want to do. You know, because he’s not evil.

I don’t know if I just have very different definitions of these terms than most people? But to me, the idea of Kaz being “utterly despicable” should not even be on the table to begin with (Leigh Bardugo, you good?) and even the idea of him being “morally gray” is questionable.

When I think of a morally good character, I don’t think of someone who never does anything questionable or always perfectly makes the correct choices. I think of someone who is on a mission–either to protect the world, a loved one, or simply pursuing a personal goal–who at least tries to conduct his mission in a way that either does no harm to others, or (when that’s not possible) does as little harm as necessary to get the job done.

Whereas, when I think of a villainous character, I think of someone who has no regard for others at all. Someone who either relishes in harming the innocent, or pays zero consideration to whether he harms innocents while pursuing his goals (which are usually, in themselves, harmful to innocent people).

And finally, when I think of a morally gray character, I think of someone directly between these two. Someone who is a little bit evil, a little bit sadistic, but not entirely evil. He’s got a few good points too. Maybe he’s someone who keeps switching sides, unsure if he wants to be a hero or villain. Maybe he has hurt a lot of innocent people unnecessarily, but he joins in with the good guys for personal gain, and people don’t mind him there simply because he doesn’t interfere with the protagonist’s goals. Or maybe he’s the “Bad Cop” to someone else’s Good Cop: someone who uses more violence than is necessary, just for fun, but still helps the good side in some capacity, so everyone chooses to look past it.

Under these definitions, Kaz (to me) seems more like a good character. While pursuing his personal goals, he protects people he loves, and yes, he does do “dark” things. But he doesn’t relish in doing them (despite his reputation in-universe of being a chaotic sadist. His reputation is not accurate; he invented it for his own protection). He does them because he has to. If he can get the job done right without hurting anyone, that’s the route he’ll take. But that option isn’t always available. And he’s not the type to lie down and die just to avoid getting his hands dirty (nor should he, imo).

Again, maybe I just have a different idea of what constitutes being morally gray. But I always thought it was meant to be a judgment on the choices you make when you actually HAVE a choice? A morally gray character has the choice to be good or evil, and they choose to do both (which one depending on how they feel that day).

Whereas, if you do something “bad” because circumstances force you to do it–because you or someone you love will die otherwise–that’s pretty much the same as having a gun to your head. You’re not morally gray. You’re doing it under duress. It’s survival, not a reflection of where you stand on moral topics. Like, if you trap a vegan in a room with only a piece of meat, and you leave them there for days, weeks, that person doesn’t suddenly become a “fake vegan” if they eat that meat to avoid literally starving to death. You forced them to do it. When it comes to their moral beliefs, they would still be a vegan if they had the freedom to make that choice. You just put them in a situation where those choices aren’t available to them. Your lack of freedom in a situation shouldn’t define you.

The same can be said for placing a starving, homeless orphan boy alone in the dog-eat-dog world of Ketterdam. The option of being a sweet little law-abiding citizen is not available to him. So is it really fair to define him by something in which he had no choice?

I’ve come across so many GrishaVerse fans who, while sipping on their Starbucks in the comfort of their own home, go “Ugh, Kaz. He’s so DARK, so EVIL!” (Fun fact: while my mom was watching the show, she said Kaz is evil because “he seems to always have a plan.” Oh no! Not PLANS!) “He must be some kind of monster to be able to do the things he does and still live with himself! I could NEVER do those things!” Well…you’ve never actually had to do those things? Your life has never depended on it? Idk, to me, it’s just a very privileged take. And I’m not trying to make this into a big social issue. It’s not like criticism against a fictional character is anywhere near the same level of importance as the issues marginalized people are facing in real life. I’m just saying, it’s very easy to condemn activity you’ve never been forced to engage in for your own survival.

One of the biggest reasons people have given me for why they think Kaz is evil is that he is “for himself.” Even the author said she thinks Kaz is worse than the Darkling (who, I’ve gotten the impression, she believes to be irredeemable) because the Darkling has communal goals (he wants to bring positive change for other people/the world at large) while Kaz’s goals are just personal (he wants to bring positive change for himself and only himself). And for one? It just isn’t true: many (if not most) of the things Kaz does is either for his Crows or for his late brother; he just disguises it with supposed self-interest for the sake of his reputation. And second? It’s…not actually wrong to have personal goals or to act in self-interest. Bettering your own life is a valid desire. It’s not the same as being selfish. Not everything you do has to be for other people.

(And, tbh, this is something Leigh Bardugo seems to have a problem with in general, not just in this scenario. I could write a whole separate rant about other characters that were demonized in-narrative for engaging in “too much” self-care, and how her unforgivingly black and white morality ruined the Shadow and Bone trilogy for me. Worst of all, she even seemed to imply recently that the only reason real-life antisemitism is wrong is because “the Jews didn’t fight back”? [Like, if they had met her criteria of “fighting back”, would that make antisemitism somewhat justified to her? What? Idek, but she should really clarify.] Basically, she seems to take “non-selfishness” to an extreme. I don’t know her personally, I don’t want to make assumptions, I don’t have anything personal against her, and I’m not trying to get her cancelled or anything, I promise. But please, when you read her books, please don’t accept all her ideas at face value, because there’s some Weird Shit™ in there sometimes.)

Anyway, another reason people say Kaz is bad or morally gray is that he wants revenge. “Revenge is a bad coping mechanism! You should want JUSTICE! Not REVENGE!” And again, this argument is wild to me. I mean, yes, there are situations–especially in real life, modern, western contexts–where revenge is a bad coping mechanism someone has developed, and transforming their anger into a desire for justice is a way for them to overcome that and express their anger in a healthier way. But that’s a very specific scenario. When we’re talking generally, the line between revenge and justice is a lot thinner than people think (and in some scenarios, there is no line at all).

For example, real life victims and their families often say they can’t wait to see the perpetrator rot in prison, even wishing (sometimes even fantasizing) that the guy gets abused in prison by fellow inmates. For them, justice and revenge are wrapped up together in one big court-issued sentence. And while some people find that disturbing or take issue with it, it’s…generally considered valid outrage? This guy is evil and hurt them, so it’s okay for these people to want him to suffer. And most importantly, these people called the cops instead of taking matters into their own hands, therefore they’re Good, right? They’re good citizens who obey and rely on the established authority, therefore they are handling their anger in an Acceptable™ way?

But in the world of Ketterdam, if someone has victimized you, or is trying to kill you or someone you love, you can’t just call the fucking cops (and let’s be honest, looking at irl cops, it’s a questionable idea here too sometimes). If we’re analyzing Kaz’s outrage and how he handles it, we have to analyze it in the context of where he lives, not where we live. We have options in our lives that Kaz doesn’t have. So we have to ask, what are the most productive steps he could realistically take in his world?

I see activists and bloggers on websites like this, publicly fantasizing about gouging the eyes out of certain politicians and right-wing figureheads. And they would probably do it for real if they could. On Tumblr and Twitter, this is generally considered righteous anger. The politicians are evil, so it’s okay to hurt them, right? That’s how the logic goes, anyway (I know some will disagree, but it’s a common take here). Well, imagine if, instead of just being a bigot, one of these evil people personally stabbed–possibly killed–your girlfriend. And there were no cops to call, no news stations or social media to turn to, to show people what this guy did. No authority or community on your side. No way to ensure this guy faced consequences for his actions. There’s just you, your dying girlfriend, your helplessness, your anger. What would be the appropriate way to handle this situation, so you were acting out of justice instead of revenge? What does “justice” even mean in a world like that? It’s a world where either you hurt others or you lie down and just let others keep hurting those you love (which, in itself, would be evil). I can’t think of any “appropriate” response Kaz could take. Which, for better or worse, is probably why he just went for the eye. You probably would too in that context. Are you morally gray? I doubt it.

It’s really weird to me how people seem to hold Kaz to this high standard of absolute Moral Purity, but they don’t hold other characters to it. Like, was the dad on Taken being “feral” or “morally gray” when he told his daughter’s kidnapper that “I will find you and I will kill you” and then pursued him with fury? His motivations were personal and not communal. He was coming from a place of revenge, just as much as justice. But most people consider him a hero. He’s not controversial or “dark.” There are plenty of other heroes who do terrible things (sometimes to innocent people! Even when it’s not even necessary!) for the “greater good” or just because it’s convenient. People call them a “badass” and then turn around and say Kaz is just “bad.” Idk, it just seems really arbitrary the way people draw these lines.

If we’re expanding the definition of “morally gray” to include anyone who’s ever done anything questionable, made a mistake, been forced to do something they wouldn’t normally do, done something for personal reasons instead of for the world at large, or wanted revenge for something, then there literally are no heroes in fiction (except maybe a few cardboard cutouts) or in real life.

(Ironically, the most morally gray thing Kaz does, imo, is something most people don’t even have a problem with: the fact he runs a gambling house to “take money from pigeons.” And even that is really mild [no one is forcing the “pigeons” to gamble their money away]. But yeah, that’s one of the few instances I could think of where he actually hurt innocent people unnecessarily. That and the time, as a kid, where he stole candy from that other kid...and even that might be mostly-but-not-entirely excused by the fact he was starving to death. But yeah.)

#Kaz Brekker #Shadow and Bone #grishaverse #tw: antisemitism #Grisha #my meta

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belliesandburps · 3 years

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Followup with MGS4 Peace Walker and 5?

History has a funny way of repeating itself. :P

This one's actually gonna be long, so I'll cap it here to spare those uninterested in non-kink posts the burden of having to scroll past this fanboy rant. 'XD

Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots

3. It's Okay

Soooooo...not a controversial opinion to say that I don't think MGS4 is GREAT. I adored it when it first game out, and I still enjoy replaying it from time to time. But good lord, so many of the interviews shed light on a LOT of this games problems.

Some backstory is required. Hideo Kojima was done with MGS by this point. He planned to move on and leave the series to the younger generation. But then, there was a lot of internal conflict and struggle to determine what MGS4 should be after Fukushima quit (AND was rumored to have been murdered by the Yakuza...how that rumor started...and became a SERIOUS rumor that millions believe, I do not know...). So Kojima came back, course corrected, and the end result was kind of a giant mess.

I'm not talking story because, there's just way too much to unpack. But as a game, MGS4 can't decide what sort of video game it wants to be. It had a brilliant idea that had never been done before with its Battlefield Stealth, which were the best parts of the game. And then they get dropped two acts in, and what gets replaced in their stead is not nearly as fun.

The game had substantially less boss fights than its predecessor, and a lot of them were mechanically simplistic or just didn't let you get creative with how you fought them. And we later learned there were a lot more bosses planned, more gameplay sequences planned, and an entire other PMC group that got canned in favor of the Scarabs so Shadow Moses could be guarded by machines instead.

There's a lot about MGS4 that I love. I think the first two acts are amazing, ESPECIALLY Act 2. I think the mechanics are great. REX vs RAY is criminally fun. The sheer buffet of insane weapons gives the game a good amount of replay value. And the graphics still hold up to this day!

But what I finally realized is that the game juggles way too many ideas and doesn't give any idea the time they deserve to flourish. Battlefield Stealth could've CARRIED MGS4. But it gets dumped before we can get our moneys worth. A disguise sequence could've been really creative, having to juggle different identities with OctoMask every time one identity is burned. But it's only used once and wasted because it's only used for a terrible tailing mission that doesn't let you actually explore the European City. And too many of the action set pieces are kind of bland except the bosses and piloting Metal Gear.

MGS4 should've been MGS4. Not MGS's "Best Hits."

Metal Gear Solid: Peace Walker

1. LOVED it!

I know this is unpopular to say, but I'll say it. Peace Walker is one of the best Metal Gear games ever made. I adored almost everything about it. The gameplay improves on MGS4 in most ways because it doesn't juggle a billion ideas all at once. It's MGS4 stripped down to stealth action from start to finish, and that's all I wanted. The level design is great. The insane volume of guns changes the entire feel of combat in later post-campaign gameplay. The mission select options mean you can jump into all the parts of the game you enjoy the most. There's TONS of bonus missions that are really inventive and fun to replay. And the story is one of the best in the series. It's straight forward, very tight, characterized well, and is the best iteration of Big Boss to date.

Peace Walker's also the FUNNIEST MGS game by Kojima as well. There's so much more personality and levity to everything, to the point where Big Boss often feels like an MCU character. That might sound bad, but it's really not. That corniness fits MGS PERFECTLY, and I'd argue is tonally spot on for this series. MGS doesn't need to be dark, gory or explicit. It's a silly series that's about giant robots, corny bad ass super agents with an anti-nuke message.

The only downsides to Peace Walker are the QTE's and the boss fights. This was a feature that only ever appeared in this game and for good reason...it was fucking terrible. So basically, you had cutscenes that forced you to do various QTE's or else get dinged on your ratings at the end, even if you played perfectly. Fairly minimal, but then, you get to Strangelove's torture. And this is the single most rage-inducing part of any MGS game ever made. It's an insanely physically painful button mashing sequence that will leave your fingers raw and your PS3 triangle buttons jamming. And the ONLY way you can replay one of the best missions in the game (the prison escape where you have no items) is by redoing that sequence over and over. And the boss fights? While inventive, they're all just grindy bullet sponges with no personality, no stealth tactics, and no room for creativity the way you can get creative with every other MGS game's bosses. This was the biggest disappointment for me because the stealth and combat mechanics of PW are great and would've been SO good against human enemies like what Portable Ops had. Instead, every boss is a mini-Metal Gear all voiced by the VOCALOID AI from the mid 2000's, and each one takes forever to destroy. It sucks because PW had a TON of bosses, but only a few of them are any fun, and that's only if you have weapons that are strong enough that they don't take ages to destroy.

But asides from the bosses, the REST of the game is so damn good that I don't even care because that's just one element to a much larger, grander game. Which is even more impressive when you consider PW was originally on the PSP before the PS3 port. And this game has more content and replay value to it than most games I've played since.

Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain

1. LOVED it!

Hooooooookay...so, I've rambled about my storybook romance with MGSV for YEARS now. (Just ask @twistedtummies2, he's been subjected to my fanboying of this game more than anyone in existence XD) But there's a reason I regard this game as one of my all time favorites and the best MGS game to date.

It's REALLY freakin' fun.

Kojima had been re-energized by the time he got to MGSV. He'd been working on the game around the time he finished Peace Walker in 2010. He KNEW it was his final MGS game and wanted to do something completely different...

...He wanted to make a game where the central focus was on...waaaaait for it...the gameplay...

MGSV was designed to be, what he described, as a toybox. You have these missions that all take place in structurally unique outposts like any level in MGS. And the missions are designed with the structure needed so that they all feel different, but all remain so open ended that you can play them countless different ways.

MGSV's game model is everything GTA SHOULD'VE been. It fully embraces the open world freedom and incorporates that into the missions flawlessly. And it plays in such a way that stealth and combat both feel like they were the primary point. In MGS, combat is usually a last resort. But with MGSV, you can fly into an outpost blasting away on your helicopters mini-gun, shoot up the bad guys, rescue your target, throw them back into the chopper and fly away while "The Final Countdown" blares on your choppers loud speakers.

Every method of gameplay is valid and the controls, the enemy AI responsiveness, it's all, bar none, the best I've experienced in ANY video game. Sneaking around feels tight and tense and combat makes you feel like Jack Bauer on adrenaline. (I mean, he IS the voice of Venom Snake)

And I really like the story for the most part too. Its weaknesses are really glaring. Namely, the "Fun" of MGS is completely devoid in the story (which is really odd since it's FRONT AND CENTER in-game). Venom Snake only has maybe six minutes of dialogue in the entirety of this 30+ hour long game. And the way Skull Face gets completely undercut right at the home stretch is something I have NOT stopped bitching about for almost six years, and my friends can personally attest to that.

That and the ending feels too abrupt.

We know that Kojima got fired by Konami's VP and said VP scorched the entire production company after that and made a series of dickheaded decisions that pissed off a LOT of fans, burning much of the good will Konami IP fans had towards the company. But that had nothing to do with MGSV's abruptness. That was the plan from the start because only Kojima would think to end the entire series on a plot twist like that.

And I think the issue isn't the twist at all. In fact, I LOVE the twist. The issue is that the game should've continued beyond it so Venom Snake could cope with the truth and realize how badly he'd been screwed. I think even people who hated the twist could've been won over if there was a little more to the games epilogue than Episode 46.

Also, the games boss fights were a tad underwhelming. Not the fights themselves, I LOVED all five of the games bosses.

Oh? There were twelve?

No. I meant what I said. Because so many of the games bosses are rematches against the same bosses. All MGSV has is the Skulls, Quiet, Eli, The Man on Fire, and Metal Gear. They're great bosses that do everything the best MGS bosses always did; give you tons of options, incorporate combat AND stealth, have varied attacks AND even have multiple methods to sneak around the boss and avoid the fight completely. But for a game as long as MGS, you need more variety. And frankly, the bosses NEED more personality. Skull Face should've had more XOF assassins acting as the bosses in the game along with the ones we have. Elite assassins like Quiet, with their own powers and specialized weaponry so the fights feel completely different from the ones we have. And oh yeah, SKULL FACE HIMSELF SHOULD'VE HAD A GOD-FUCKING-DAMN BOSS FIGHT!!!!

Buuuuuuut those issues don't even matter if for all the games issues, I still replay it frequently when it's almost six years old.

So yeah! There's the massive rant you totally didn't ask for! :D

#ask belliesandburps #mgs4 #mgsv #peace walker #metal gear #metal gear solid #seriously #i'm very very VERY bitter about how Kojima did Skull Face dirty #here's this really great villain with a super complex backstory and motivation #whadduya wanna do with him kojima-san?#I'VE GOT IT!!!!!!#we'll do...absolutely nothing!#he'll show up in five missions out of a thirty nine mission long game #he'll talk at venom snake a few times and do some cool things #then right around the time we're supposed to fight him?#a random twelve year old will hijack metal gear through a PSYCHIC twelve year old and crush Skull Face before we can do anything cool! :D #hold your applause children! :D #................we weren't clapping kojima-san...........#also sins of the father?#heaven's divide?#donna burke is amazing #seriously she is an in-freakin'-CREDIBLE singer #sorry cynthia hall #i got love #but...#whoooooa-HHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!!

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cozypancakes · 4 years

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Hi there! I have another question if you're still up for answering them! I wanted to know who's your favorite character to write/develop in your series.

Always up for answering questions, thank you so much for asking. This sort of got away from me by like 1.8k words...I’d blame the voice to text feature I’m trying out cause it really encourages my ramblings, but this would’ve happened regardless. I also ended up talking about what I would write/develop about every character. My current answer to who my favorite is would be everyone (leaning towards Shirley at this very second, but basically everyone). All of the characters are fascinating so below is the short version of the parts I’d be most interested in developing.

Abed takes incredible precision to get his character right because his personality only changes in subtle ways. Chang has had multiple personalities and roles so now I don’t even know how to write him. Those two are awesome cause I love a challenge. Annie was a drug addict and has serious mommy issues. Addiction doesn’t just disappear. She has to have struggled/relapsed with that. Shirley had serious drinking issues and was a bully growing up. What was her rock bottom that turned her into someone who tries to always be nice and when did Christianity start playing a role in her life?? Frankie came to Greendale to take care of one of her “insane” relatives...nothing more was ever said on that! Britta is a mess but doesn’t deserve to be the butt of every joke. And also, why is she so afraid of herself? Troy’s lack of career ambition is valid so that would not be where I give him personality. Pierce is an asshole but his fear of being abandoned by everyone is not on the list of reasons why.

What lies ahead is a lot of ramblings into every major character outside of Jeff and the Dean. Proceed at your own risk...

So obviously since I write primarily deanjeff fanfic so those are the two I focus on the most. And I couldn’t possibly choose one over the other. I know Jeff has been getting more attention but I think the Dean’s journey is just as, if not more, fascinating. The people I think would be hardest to write about, would have to be Abed or Chang. with Chang it's difficult to really pinpoint his character after season 3. I think I need to re-watch it a lot more because personally I want to keep his crazy antics, that did not involve murder. He was such a narcissistic, sarcastic asshole in the first season and I kinda miss that. But he's really calmed down when he’s Kevin. Then they try to mix the two personalities together? I don't understand the balance just yet. With Abed it feels a lot more like walking a tightrope. You need needlepoint accuracy to get Abed’s character right cuz it's very easy to slip into either incorrect exaggerations or misinterpretations of his personality. So if I'm ever up for a challenge one of those would be the two I'd have trouble pinning down.

As far as who I would like to explore more, that's a really hard decision to make too. It would really be like the entire cast. Annie has so much stuff with her perfectionism and drug addiction that's never really touched upon and her issues with her mom. There's also the whole thing with her sexuality cause obviously I read her as a lesbian, though extremely repressed. Like how does her relationship with her mom influence her as she tries to define what kind of person she wants to be? And that is stressful to navigate by itself but then you have her addition issues. So it like can't really even begin to deal with one of them because they all feed into each other and they all feed into her bigger anxiety about being the best and it's just a whirlpool of emotional trauma.

Shirley is, of course, another character that we just do not know much about. I’d love to dive into her character development. She kind of stays the Christian mom friend who has a troubled marriage for the majority of the series. They never even touched on the fact that she was a black business woman and any of the hardships that must come with that, even being at Greendale. Some of the questions I have is if her early life of excessive drinking is what drove her to Christianity so hard or if that was something she had from childhood? we also see that she was a bully in her childhood because she was bullied. So did that lead her to the drinking or was it strict expectations under a Christian household that made her drink. What was her rock bottom where she suddenly decided to change her entire life and like get sober and be nice all the time? What was her motivation for suppressing all her negative emotions?

With Frankie, it wasn't until my third or fourth re-watch of the first season 6 episode that I realize she says she's at Greendale because she has to take care of one of her insane relatives like what is the story there? How much pressure is she under to take care of her family? How much of that has influenced her personality of being productive and in control all the time? Does she ever get a moment to just be weird or careless or insane herself? Did she have to be the parent when she was a small child? Did she ever get to be free? Does she know how to be? Is she a super private person by choice or because she’s learned to hide her family cause mental health issues are so taboo? What about her sexuality? Was she something she always knew about herself but, like with many other aspects of herself, never really felt bothered or able to celebrate or embrace outwardly? Did she view it was a fact of herself? ‘I have brown hair, light skin, and am pan/bi/lesbian.” Her attitude towards life makes it hard to imagine her having any sort of big reaction to her sexuality. Like, “Oh, I actually find women attractive. Okay then, I’ll have to research lesbian later.” in the most monotone, unaffected voice possible. Maybe it’s a coping mechanism. Like she’s had to deal with a lot of crazy things throughout her life so she’s adopted to focusing on fixing/adapting to the situation rather than reacting to it.

At this point I've done almost every single character so I might as well add in Britta. I will admit I'm having a bit of trouble getting a grip on her character. I would definitely focus on having Britta be dysfunctional but not in such a negative way like the show makes it. Cause everyone on that show sucks in some way or another and yet Britta is the one who's supposed to suck more than all of them? The first time I watched the series I was really confused when they started picking on Britta. She wasn't worse than any of the other characters so why are you signaling her out and coining the term Britta’d it?? She doesn't even need a redemption, she just needs to not be made the butt of the joke unnecessarily. And then there's so much to explore with her white feminism and misguided attempts at activism and the fact that she does things that make her seem to care because she is trying so hard to not be the selfish person she thinks she is. And that's both incredibly sad and incredibly brave. Because obviously she isn't as bad as she thinks since she's making the attempt to be better. I really wonder what happened in her life that made her fear so much being apathetic and if that’s her issue with her parents.

There's also Troy who I've never gotten to write about or in the perspective of since I'm focused on season 6 right now. First time I watched the repilot episode and Jeff said his entire identity was defined by his relationship with a man, I thought that was an exaggeration. But rewatching the series a couple times, it's really true and they point it out a lot throughout the series. Troy's basically just going along with whatever Abed wanted and other than the AC repairman plotline, which he obviously did not enjoy, he never really got his own thing. Which I think is completely valid. So I would love to show that Troy can be one of those people that has no ambition in life and be perfectly okay with that. His biggest goal in life is to be happy. Which in a capitalist society is really hard to admit and/or embrace. So after he comes back from his trip around the world, sure he'll have crazy stories and millions of dollars but I would like him to keep that innocent, carefree behavior. I don't want him to become Pierce in the sense that he's just spending money and doing nothing. But I don't want him to suddenly be anything other than what we've seen him to be. I also love all the posts on Tumblr about how Abed was the one that kind of taught him to be himself. So yeah he kind of adopts Abed’s fascination with TV shows and role-playing but at the same time I think he just loves being goofy and sweet. And maybe that's through a different medium. Maybe he finds love for music and he just makes amazing at it cough Childish Gambino cough. And it’s a natural talent like plumbing/AC repair. And everyone is telling him to go out there and become a great musician or rapper and he's just like this is just what I do for fun, don’t ruin it.

Screw it, let's do Pierce now. I've already written an entire essay so I might as well finish off the one character I've been avoiding. So obviously there's a line of what is Pierce's character and what is the writer's exaggeration for the sake of comedy. Now, in this day in age, there is very little tolerance of old people getting a pass for being racist, homophobic, or sexist. And there's a lot of things that just would not slide where Pierce is concerned. Like if I met the guy it would just be a hard no immediately. You're not even worth getting to know, you're not even worth the effort. Pierce would definitely need a redemption arc (a real redemption arc where he honestly tries to do better not whatever that scene with Jeff tolerating his racism/homophobia in the barber shop was). I also think it's really important to note that ageism plays a role in how Pierce is perceived by the fandom. Because yes, he is an absolute racist piece of s*** (voice to text is censoring me, boo!). But the moments where he is acting out because he does not want to be left out oh, those are the moments where I think he is over judged by both the writers and the fandom. Because those fears are legitimate. They could have been developed and fleshed out. Progress could have been made. It's just a constant of his personality where he keeps being an a****** pushing people away so that they leave and he’ll be justified in his fear. Other characters do pretty bad things and yet are more easily forgiven than Pierce. I am speaking for myself here, of course. And there was this tumblr post that said something along the lines of annoying perks are tolerated depending on how good looking and young the actors/characters are. And I think that happens with Pierce's character that is then amplified by the fact that he is racist and sexist. If I were to write Pierce, I don't know if I would even be able to stomach the racism, but his self-destructive behavior would be something I would find interesting to address. Also, what made him leave all his money to Troy? I thought Annie was his favorite...In what world does he have enough emotional depth to not leave his favorite all the money??

Holy crap that took an hour and twenty minutes...if anyone bothered to read all of that, I would love to hear thoughts or headcanons. And bless you for being just as obsessed with this show as I am.

#community #shirley bennett #troy barnes #abed nadir #chang #britta perry #annie edison #frankie dart #pierce hawthorne #will i ever simply answer a question with one or two sentences?#probably not

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oczxe · 7 years

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8,9,13, and 12. If there are playlists then I would love a link to any playlists you feel comfortable with sharing just because I love listening to music. Plus it'd be interesting to try to analyze what the music meant for the characters as well. Music and analyzation the perfect combo really.

💖 8. Is there a character that embodies your good traits, or traits you wish you had?

honestly mariella is a lot of my “best” traits or traits i wish i had. as far as how i want to be more like her, she’s definitely better at dealing with her issues (although she doesn’t have ALL of her shit together), she’s fashionable, and she’s really patient and takes time to think and observe before acting. as far as what traits of mine she already has, she’s helpful, caring, and gentle!

🖤 9. Is there a character that embodies your bad traits? Several characters? Which ones and what traits?

Oh boy caprice cooper and maitho are basically my bad traits split up into 3 groups. caprice has a lot of my issues and problems and her backstory is very similar to mine. she doesn’t deal with her problems very well, and uses coping mechanisms much like how i used to (we’ll see more of that in comic later).

i don’t know if i would call this a “bad” trait, but maitho definitely has a lot of my motivations. he’s really driven by the need to please other people, and he often puts his own comfort aside to try and make other people happy. he’s desperate for validation and love and he seeks it out wherever he can, even in toxic places.

a lot of cooper’s dialogue is really fun to write because he’s brash and blunt a lot of the time, with his little remarks and manipulative words. i like to think (hope?) that i don’t behave like cooper, but sometimes i have thoughts that i allow him to speak out loud. not with the whole murder thing, but a lot of the ways he interacts with the characters are kind of “off.” he’s fun to write because i think that i would behave like him if i didn’t have a filter.

💭 12. Do you fantasize about being any of your characters, or are you more detached?

hm, i don’t really fantasize about BEING any of my characters, because i really feel like i already AM kind of an amalgamation of all of them. the characters of syw are really personal to me, even the ones that aren’t listed in this post, because they all come personal experiences or aspects of my personality. i definitely wouldn’t want to actually be any of them or live any of their lives - i’m pretty happy with my own :)

🎵 13. Do you create playlists for your characters?

YES! i put all of their playlists on youtube, and i have spotify playlists as well (although i’m not really sure how to share spotify playlists? if someone wants them let me know!) i absolutely use the lyrics of the music in their playlists as inspiration for the story - in fact a number of events in the story are BASED on lyrics in their playlists. i won’t say which ones though :)

#re: mariella - also weed #long post #gunslingergirl01 #asqs

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