#gay as fuck ig these two need to get married at some point stop the tension

[thisispoggers]

@soda-gremlin gay fish ftw

Bonus: fish Kornelius lmao

#ALSO IM SO SORRY BUT I LITERALY CANT REPLY TO THE ACTUAL ASK CUZ I ACCIDENRALLY DELETED IT CKSNCKNDKC #also if Geronimo doesn’t panic like a fish out of water from the mere sight of Kornelius it’s not canon📢📢/j #also yes I did spend far too much time drawing their scales shut the fuck up(affectionate) #then just to cover Geronimo’s up with a fucking fish net #cuz Geronimo is defo the type to get caught in one #not cuz he’s a dumbass but cuz his reflexes are as wack lol #also yes I almost tore my paper up cuz I don’t have sketch paper at hand uwu #geronimo stilton #kornelius von kickpaw #geronimo x kornelius #pog draws #art #doodle #mermaid #gay as fuck ig these two need to get married at some point stop the tension

[tinystepsforward]

i am so fucking sad tonight and i used to put that stuff on here like a decade ago so here we are again ig. just.

really horrid combination of things happening right now and it makes me extra upset bc i'm into my second month on low-dose t and the first month was going so fucking well for like. being conducive to the last of my trauma recovery? and then, of course, recovery isn't linear and also my parents seem intent to retraumatise me whenever they can. but like.

english terf hits our shores

completely inescapable discourse, and also targeted abuse, on twitter and elsewhere. also i wrote an op-ed bc our media are useless and we need at least a few trans voices out there (hopefully it does get picked up, but it was gruelling to write)

my mother switches from spreading conspiracy theories about climate change to a sudden and vicious focus on trans people. not that she ever stopped being a bigot but usually it's one post every few months about how conversion therapy works and not several posts a day from people who want trans people murdered

scheduled to be interviewed for a study on conversion therapy survivors on tuesday

scheduled to go on holiday with my family on thursday. i booked a separate room so i won't have to attempt to take my (oral, twice daily with food, specifically bc the endo didn't want me on injections until we knew for sure i wouldn't need to suddenly stop t to avoid extended ptsd episodes) testosterone around family who would be very willing to attempt conversion therapy round fucking four on me

i have no idea if my job will still be there for me when i get back from this scheduled leave bc [gestures at tech companies and ai]

conference all day monday (tomorrow, technically) that i know will eat all my spoons, and that doesn't cater for my dietary needs so i'll have to pack food

and it's like. i am so sad. i am so so sad. i have been making a concerted effort w my family because my paatti (dad's mother) is in town, the one i've talked about before who doesn't know i'm gay and married bc my parents have prevented that happening. and i feel so lonely and so cut off bc as a diaspora/migrant family, and a mixed one at that, my only connection to my cultures is via my parents who fucking hate who i am. so i've been trying to hang out with her when they're not around. i said yes to this vacation, we'll get more time together and some pictures and stuff.

but i'm still fielding her questions about why i don't have a boyfriend. and my parents have decided to, right when i'm most stressed about being trans, and about connection to family, be the worst people they can be about it again i guess? and it's true that my conversion therapy/parental/religion trauma is the stuff i've never come back around to working on in therapy bc my parents are actively reopening the wound every few months and it's. hard to work with that.

fucking like. shocking that i recovered from ptsd once, after [black box of getting csaed more times than i can count], immediately got groomed in a way that's rly fucking complicated to talk about bc my ex is a trans woman who decided to come out as a child-grooming rapist and as trans in the same month, and terfs salivate over the idea of using people like her as a cudgel, and completely forgot that approximately 300 other things, sa and otherwise, happened to me along the way to the point where my psych said she was surprised/proud i haven't killed anyone yet.

so i'm sad about all of them at once rn except the brain injury means i can only hold about two in my active memory at a time and i keep alternating which ones i'm sad about like shuffling several decks of cards really fast i guess.

#tony muses #this is a big long vent post and mentions csa #but it's not a 'don't read will delete later' you are welcome to read it #also cw terf shit and conversion therapy and parental stuff and religious trauma and idk what needs to be tagged. cultural alienation? #i am literally just sad #and transphobes are unavoidable on twt rn

[captainvav]

okay. bet. rundown fr this time.

jordan and tom and eventually mars are chilling big time and then jordan gets kidnapped but he's Into it

eventually it becomes less of an inconvenience to him and like, he and dia fall in love and all that jazz, and tom is fine with it he's just real fucking exhausted of dealing with it

jordans mom is Not okay with it (the being kidnapped part) and wants jordan to get married. this is Not an okay option

tom (loves jordan) knows that jordan cant b happy like this but he cant just Fuck Off because no one will ever stop looking. solutions required

solutions Acquired. mars has the goods. entire the "prince" of the nether isles. jordan and dia are now entirely smitten in the queens vision and also he seems to be getting kidnapped a lot less. no one draws that connection.

there is bonding for a while. we do a little bit of courting. tom loving jordan comes out at some point and dia agrees that its Fine he can share he guesses (they still dont care for each other all too much).

mars ALSO loves jordan but sure as hell does not want to step to that at the moment and also has a big gay something about dia but really just does not know how to go about that

dia can tell that mars love jordan. jordan eventually steps to mars abt it instead. they're not rlly as involved as the other two are with jordan but is definitely a step up from just prince and servant

uh oh here comes trouble tall dark and handsome and also a cunt. got some magic in them, jordan is now Unwell and Not himself

dia starts to feel unlovable. tom, who has gotten along with him Better lately, calls him a fucking idiot because something is very clearly wrong. mars starts microdosing jordan with resistance magic and says "you better get him the fuck out of here"

dia gets him the fuck out of there. tom follows p close behind and then while the three of them are recovering/waiting on word from mars that he has something to actually keep the trance at bay, tom and dia start to dance around being maybe More

meanwhile nox is just distantly observing for a while, pissed as hell. notices Someone out of place and realizes mars was around jordan a good chunk of the time. goes "okaaaay :)" and fucks off

mars sends for the boys again as soon as nox fucks off and gives jordan his own sort of monthly meds now.

the boys are there for another bit but realize they need more time to recuperate they dont feel safe. they fuck off and leave mars alone in the castle.

the REASON they didnt feel safe was bc nox is still Kinda there clinging to mars. they proceed to take their time tormenting him until he eventually goes "yeah ig lets go"

jordan worries abt mars and says "maybe we should fuckin check on him" and they do and wow yeah look at that. all gone

mars is. well hes having the time of his life while they try to look for him. is he entirely within his own mind no but its fine

they do Find him. dia goes in and nox is like OHHH YOU SLY DOG!!! YOU SLY MFER. mars eventually agrees to go home and tricks nox and does weaken them an actual significant amount

dia and mars go home and jordan reaffirms that he fucking ADORES mars like he loves him loves him. courting level, basically

while they're all safe again momentarily jordan and tom fuck off for a week and a half and dia admits to mars that yeah he loves him too fr fr sorry bestie

oooo thats mostly it

EVENTUALLY nox starts fuckin haunting mars again and is kinda just consistently lingering around him but we'll get there. when we get there

#speaking

[adorethedistance]

City Slicker, Cowboyfriend - Owen Joyner x Reader

JATP masterlist

Warnings: Swearing, nerves, mentions of covid.

Words: 2163

Summary: You’re starting to have doubts about moving all the way to Norman until a shopping trip to Ikea turns into the meet-cute you’ve been waiting for.

A/n: This isn’t a request or one of my Valentines day fics, this is just something that I have had stuck in my head ever since Owen posted this on IG and bc I’m facing total writers block with my other pieces I cranked this one out in a few hours to get the ball rolling again. Hopefully. Enjoy this totally unproofed, fluffy madness!! (Because who doesn’t need more Owen content in their life?)

There are perks to moving and one of them is undoubtedly: shopping. For furniture, home decor, kitchen utensils, whatever! Granted, shopping alone can be tedious and, for some, like pulling teeth, thus, I’ve enlisted the help of my best friends Leila and Chelsea. I didn’t even have to bribe them to come because everyone loves getting lost in Ikea. It’s one of the best things about the human experience.

“It’s been so long since I’ve been in an Ikea,” Leila says to no one in particular as we walk through the onslaught of staged bedrooms.

“What?! Are you telling me you don’t get meatballs and lawn chairs on a weekly basis?” My exaggeration makes Leila laugh as she steps into one of the display kitchens. Looking between me and Chelsea she asks,

“What would you do if I turned the handle then a jet of water sprayed out?”

“Die, I guess.”

The three of us continue through the faux house displays and past the mattresses despite Leila’s urge to jump on every single one. As we walk through the section of different lighting features, I sigh with a frown as I think about college. I changed my bachelor’s to an associate’s so I could graduate in two years. Chelsea’s parents moved out here at the end of our senior year in high school, and she moved with them to study in Norman. Leila in turn went to Arizona for an athletic physical therapy gig, leaving me to face college alone in L.A.. In the two years the three of us were apart, we missed each other more and more, and after determining which of the three states we lived in was cheapest, we packed up and headed East. Covid kind of delayed our plans. But after a few months, I picked Leila up from Arizona and together we chased open job opportunities into Norman, Oklahoma. The three of us found an apartment space to live in together and thus, we ended up in Ikea on this fine Sunday afternoon.

Snapping back into reality I see Leila standing directly under a light that’s hanging very low from the ceiling. Once standing directly underneath it, she pulls down her mask and opens her mouth, rising to her toes to eat the fixture.

“Leila, don’t you dare fellate that light bulb! You’re gonna get us kicked out.”

I swear I’m practically their mom when it comes to behaving in public. Figuring they can’t hurt themselves in the college dorm section, I lead them quickly through it and into the giant furniture warehouse section. On the far wall, I see a large poster of a couple smiling brightly behind Chelsea, but I don’t bother to read the text. Leila and I spot the poster at the same time, and the imagery jogs her memory.

“Chelsea, how’s Hunter? Haven’t heard from him slash about him in like a week,” she asks about Chelsea’s boyfriend of a year.

“Oh, yeah, he tore a ligament in his wrist.”

“What?!”

“Yeah, I guess he moved it wrong or something and put too much stress on the area that it just tore. He was moving hay bales into the horse stables.”

“As opposed to the chicken stables,” Leila judges under her breath, which makes me snicker as a result.

“I still can’t believe you’re dating a literal cowboy,” I interject, “Like, I know we’re in Oklahoma, and he’s from Tennessee, but we saw Texas on the way out here and that’s cowboy country. Norman seems more...” I trail off in search of delicate phrasing.

“Just barely marry your cousin territory, but still downing chewing tobacco whilst driving a lifted truck?” Leila hits the nail squarely on the head.

“Yeah, that sounds about right-” Before I can continue giving my thoughts on Norman, I cut myself off at the sound of laughter behind me.

“Sorry. We weren’t trying to eavesdrop, that was just really funny.” When I turn around, I see a guy roughly our age dressed in all black with bleach-blonde hair, speaking through light, broken laughter.

“No worries,” I dismiss the apology as we pass by one another, and out from the dressers section. The three of us continue into the different sections, and come to a stop once I see we’re exactly where we need to be: dining room shit!

“Cowboy boyfriends aside- oh my gosh: cowboy boyfriends. Cowboyfriends,” I say getting lost in my new terminology. Both of my friends share a mix of laughter and gasps and my ingeniousness. “Anyway. Cowboyfriends aside, how is Avery?” I ask Leila who begins blushing madly.

“She’s really good. We were just making plans for our three year anniversary, which reminds me to tell y’all I’m flying back to Phoenix to surprise her.”

“Awwww,” I nearly tear up and the sweet image of Leila and her girlfriend reuniting, “Y’all are so cute. Both of you and your partners. You know, being the only single friend in this group has made life suck a lot. Y’all are so happy and in love and not dead inside. Honestly? Get fucked both of you.” Despite my harsh words, the three of us break into a lighthearted conglomerate of laughter.

“We’ll find you someone… eventually.” Leila pretends she also can’t hear the last part of her sentence despite being the one saying it.

“I know, but I don’t think it’s in the cards for me to find love in Norman. I don’t need a cowboyfriend, and we’re not gonna find a true city slicker here either.”

When I finish my statement, I see our blonde friend seems to have followed us. I observe he comes to a stop in front of another guy in a flannel with a shopping cart. The way they jump into conversation with one another parallels the animated body language Leila, Chelsey, and I share. I continue to watch their exchange as Chelsea speaks up.

“Maybe you need someone right down the middle.”

“Yeah, like a guy who drives a truck but uses it to transport Ikea furniture instead of a whole ass tree that he’ll carve into a chair.” A small laugh escapes my lips, at both Leila’s statement, and the scene ahead of Blondie pretending to strangle his friend over something. I’m snapped out of my nosy yet endeared stare as a third guy appears. He’s a sandy blonde with billowing locks tucked under a trucker hat. And he came from behind me and my two friends to place something in their cart which keeps his back toward me. When he turns back around, my mind goes blank. Any thoughts of shopping for dining room chairs has left my mind. He is wearing a face mask, but he has such nice eyes that he could have a giraffe snout under the mask for all I care. I see him look up from the shelves, directly into my eyes. We stay locked for a moment before he breaks away and turns to his friends. I slowly turn to my friends too who are both giving me the exact same look of excitement and conspiracy.

“He’s really cute,” I sigh out with a laugh, swooning much louder than I’d have preferred.

“He has a face mask on,” Leila points out, her expression dropping from excited to cynical.

“Still! I can just tell.”

“Girl, what are you doing? Talk to him!” Chelsea whisper-shrieks.

“Shhh, I cannot take you anywhere!”

Glancing back at the handsome stranger, we connect eyes once more and I feel my face heat furiously as I realize he was already looking at me. I’m the first to break; I consult my friends for the best course of action and as I’m turned 180 to face them, Chelsea starts pretending to hyperventilate excitedly. Leila looks over my shoulder for me, discreetly surveying the other trio in the dining chairs aisle.

“Don’t look now, but he’s talking to his friends and looking between them and you.” I can hear in her voice she’s trying her best not to smile despite wearing a face mask.

“Should I give him my number?”

“Yes!”

“What are you waiting for?”

“I’m nervous! What if he’s gay?”

“Will you just get over there? I promise you a gay man would not be wearing what he’s wearing right now. Maybe a lesbian,” Leila adds for good measure.

“You guys are freaking me out, I need you to leave so I know you’re not judging my flirting.” I shoo my best friends out of the aisle as inconspicuous as possible. Kinda wish blondie would’ve done the same because when I turn back around, the other trio hasn’t moved and the only one looking at me is the one in all black. He quickly averts his eyes though and I take one last deep breath before walking over to the stranger. I tilt my chin up ever so slightly to fake a sense of confidence that I unmistakably don’t have right now.

“Hey.” Really, Y/n? Hey??

“Hey,” he greets back breathily. Why is he nervous? I’m the one who gets to be nervous! Man, he’s really cute. I can’t fuck this one up. I’m not doing so stellar right now. Perhaps you should say something else, dipshit?

“Uhm,” I should’ve scripted this. “I just wanted to say that-” You’ve got this. Don’t be a bummer. “I-uh, I think you’re really cute and I was wondering if I could give you my number?” My speech is slow, each word deliberate in spite of the fact that I feel like I’m having an out of body experience right now. I’m not the one in control of the words that are coming out of my mouth.

Upon realizing why I walked over, blondie’s friends take the question as a sign to leave and less than inconspicuously back away from the two of us. Trucker hat spares them one last glance over his left shoulder and judging by the look flannel gives him, they were definitely talking about me in their team huddle.

“Uh, yeah. I was gonna ask for your instagram- if you have one, that is.”

“I’m cool with both.” The two of us reach for our phones and unlock them with anxious hands. I move to hand him my phone with instagram open, and he trades me for his which has a new contact open. I type my name and put my favorite heart emoji next to it after triple checking the number is correct. Wow, you’re just so ballsy today, Y/n!!!!! I give him back the phone, scanning the instagram account he’s just opened and followed for me. I hear him exhale a little harder as a small laugh and can only imagine it’s from the stupid heart emoji.

“Owen,” I say in a hushed, endeared voice, fully not intending to say it out loud. “You have a million followers?! Oh, you’re an actor. OH… You’re an actor.” I really don’t need to be speaking my entire thought process right now in the middle of this Ikea. Exhaling a small laugh of my own, I see we already have a small bunch of mutuals, one of which is… Chelsea??? Looking up from my phone I turn around to see Chelsea and Leila watching the interaction from around the corner of one of the industrial shelves.

In the flurry of scattered likes, I see him find my account and follow me back. I accept the request, nervous of what he thinks of me without a face mask on. What do I think of him without a face mask on? Going back to his account, seeing his entire face is even better than just his eyes. I was right, Leila: he is cute.

“You’re really pretty,” I hear him almost sigh as he combs through the grid of my account. The comment makes my heart beat all the much faster and I finally look upward to get a glimpse of Owen in the flesh. Still as beautiful as the last time I checked!

Sparing a quick glance over my shoulder, he looks back down at me and laughs,

“I think your friends got tired of waiting.”

“I think yours did, too.” The other members of our trios come back into the aisle we had kicked them from more or less two minutes ago. We connect eyes once more and stare longingly, wordlessly at one another, so lost in each other’s beauty our friends have to break up the staring contest of infatuation.

“Y/n?” I hear Leila behind me.

“Uh, well, I have to get back to chair shopping, but- text me later?”

“For sure.”

“For sure,” I mimic his voice.

“Guess I’ll see you later. Y/n.”

“Yeah.” And with that, we’re pulled apart by our respective best friends, through the vast expanse of the Norman Ikea.

“What was that?” Chelsea asks, excitedly linking arms with me.

“I don’t know I- Wait, you have some explaining to do!”

*** 

Taglist: @caitsymichelle13 @kaitlyn2907 @itz-jas @crybabyddl @kcd15 @kinda-really-lost @calamitykaty @morganayennefertyrell @n0wornever @dream-a-little-bigger-x @mrstodorooki @vicesvsvirturesfanfic @curlybrownhairedboys @amazinggracy @kaitieskidmore1 @asdfghjkl-fanfics​ @ghostlygreenbean @juliefromaustralia @merceret​ @jemimah-b99 @ifilwtmfc @thesweetestsinner​ @imsydneywalker @lovesanimals @thebloodthirstyvampress @bumbleberry-pie @losers-club6 @tefilovesreading​ @dmcfarland1@joynerxmercer @kexrtiz @talk-on-the-street @phantompogues @konciousdreamer @sunsetcurvej @warmnesss0ul @lilyjoyner 

#Julie and the phantoms #Julie and the phantoms fanfiction #Julie and the phantoms fanfic #Julie and the phantoms fic #Julie and the phantoms writing #Julie and the phantoms imagine #Julie and the phantoms oneshot #Julie and the phantoms one shot #Julie and the phantoms fluff #Julie and the phantoms smut #Julie and the phantoms angst #Julie and the phantoms x reader #Owen Joyner #Owen Joyner fanfiction #Owen Joyner fanfic #Owen Joyner fic #Owen Joyner writing #Owen Joyner imagine #Owen Joyner one shot #Owen Joyner oneshot #Owen Joyner fluff #Owen Joyner smut #Owen Joyner angst #Owen joyner x reader #Owen Joyner x y/n #Owen Patrick Joyner #Owen Patrick Joyner fanfiction #Owen Patrick Joyner fanfic #Owen Patrick Joyner fic #Owen Patrick Joyner writing

[gayoperatorgunclub]

For the ultimate ship meme, Lion and Doc? I'm sorry, I'm LionDoc trash-

it’s all good!! whenever someone sends in an ask, i get an excuse to talk/write about one of my interests! really, it makes me so happy to be able to create content that people hopefully enjoy!! 💝💝💝

General:

Rate the Ship -   Awful | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got Pics? | Let’s do it! | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OTP to rule all other OTPs

How long will they last? - until the end of time, babey

How quickly did/will they fall in love? - it was love at first sight but then they started talking i do think it was some form of ~interest~ in one another at first sight, but then all that drama and lack of communication happened so they didn’t really allow themselves to even dream about the possibility of a relationship. HOWEVER! once lion joined rainbow and they talked their shit out like people who know how to cope, there was a period of a few months that is now referred to as The Four Months of Pining™, during which glaz did a lot of paintings where the subject (who usually bears an uncanny resemblance to doc or lion) is staring at something (or someone) longingly. he calls it his french period. when they finally get together, a LOT of money changes hands. and goes straight into sledge’s pocket (he was the only one who bet that it would take them this long). diana gets a brand new collar (handmade), bed (handmade), dish (handmade), and many new toys (some handmade, some store-bought. sledge’s craftsmanship can only get him so far) 

How was their first kiss? - you know how the french are supposed to be super suave and confident??? and how gay people are trying their hardest but they’re just Not Good at things????? (i know these are stereotypes but stay with me). well, with their 5/8 french blood (i hc one of doc’s parents is fully algerian while the other is half french, half algerian), and their 4/4 gay blood, they have an 81.25% chance of success in matters of the heart. sadly, that 18.75% chance of failure came into play during this situation. picture it. doc and lion. romantic, home-cooked dinner. le festin is playing in the background. they’re holding hands over the table. suddenly, doc’s cat goes into labour. all hell breaks loose. lion is getting flashbacks to his son’s birth, so now he’s hyperventilating. doc carries him to the couch and turns on the fan so he can cool off and catch his breath, before carefully moving his cat, Rayie (arabic for gorgeous, pronounced rye-ah) to the living room in his handmade Birthing Box, then grabs a pile of blankets and a heat lamp and situates himself on the ground nearby so he can help her if she needs it. once the kittens are born (they’re twins!! Sadiqi is the boy, and Amirti is the girl!!!) doc makes sure they’re nice and warm and that Rayie is recovering, and gives her pets while she cleans her babies. once the happy family is all settled in for the night, doc walks over to the couch and just. lays down on top of lion. once he’s gotten over the adrenaline of the birth, he takes lion’s face in his hands and says “promise me you’ll be more calm if we ever decide to have kids” and gives him a BIG smooch while lion’s just short-circuiting like “does he know i have a son???? did i forget to mention my son?????? also what about these kittens??? are they not sufficiently childish to count as children????? DOES HE WANT KIDS????? does he want to marry me??????? wait why is he getting so clo-”

Wedding:

Who proposed? - lion. it was the day of their two year anniversary (yes i AM saying they got together the august after outbreak don’t @ me) and they were on vacation at doc’s family’s Secret Beach House. they were vibing on the balcony, watching the sunset, when lion suddenly clears his throat. doc turns to look at him and finds his boyfriend down on one knee, looking like he might flee to Bermuda. he’s reaching for something in his pocket. doc starts laughing. lion, completely misunderstanding his reaction, flushes and stammers out an apology. doc sees this, and immediately stops, though he’s still smiling gleefully as he catches lion by the biceps, then reaches into his own pocket and pulls the ring he was going to give olivier. they exchange rings, giggling like little kids, and spend the rest of the night making out on whatever surfaces are available. 

Who is the best man/men? - for lion? montagne. (his son is the ring bearer and doc’s niece is the flower girl). for doc? rook. he’s so happy he gets to participate in his dad’s wedding

Who is the bride’s maid(s)? - for lion: finka. for doc: twitch

Who did the most planning? - both of them!! do you know how hard they worked to ensure the ceremony was valid in the eyes of both of their religions

Who stressed the most? - s e e  a b o v e

How fancy was the ceremony? - Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? - lion’s parents. they tried to call him during the reception but doc’s grandma grabbed his phone and started cussing them out, talking about dishonor and how they tried to disown him so they’re not his parents anymore, and besides, his new family absolutely adores him, so really, it’s their loss. once she hangs up, she pulls lion into a hug and he calls her his favorite, if only, grand-mère

Sex:

Who is on top? - who’s topping? lion. but sometimes doc gets bitchy so he gets to set the pace if you know what i mean

Who is the one to instigate things? - they are both lowkey horny 24/7 so 👀👀👀

How healthy is their sex life? - Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now (only because they do get to see each other fairly often. if one goes on a long mission without the other, once they get back they will bump it up to a 10 real quick)

How kinky are they? - Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head

How long do they normally last? - idk long enough ig. maybe longer if someone feels they’ve been left ~unsatisfied~ they might go a few more rounds ;))

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - ok it depends on what they’re doing but usually it’s one or two each, but on ~special~ occasions it’s either doc getting edged and denied for hours, OR doc getting forced to come over and over again until he’s begging for something, whether it be more or a goddamn break even he isn’t really sure. either way he’s crying and lion is consistently asking if he needs to safeword and otherwise checking in because they may like it rough but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t care

How rough are they in bed? - Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it.

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? - No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.

Children:

How many children will they have naturally? - unless someone’s hormones and organs get fucked, zero

How many children will they adopt? - probably none?? idk they’ve already got lion’s son and they’re both busy enough with work so

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? - NEITHER!!!!! DISGUSTANG!!!!!!!!!

Who is the stricter parent? - god i wanna say both. like lion and his attachment to rules??? but doc and his Mom Friend energy????? but ig lion BUT HE’S NOT STRICT TO THE POINT HE’S A BUZZKILL OR ANYTHING HE’S JUST RESPONSIBLE (he will NOT allow his husband and son to go vandalize the property of some islamaphobic brits, as much as he agrees with the sentiment) 

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? - doc will only allow vandalism if it’s in the name of righteousness. meaning, he’ll allow their son to spray paint the walls of a goddamn walmart with shit like “eat the rich” and a portrait of robespierre and a guillotine, but it is a HARD NO on defacing places like the library or community center (unless he has a good reason to do so). lion spends his time praying and making sure his son knows which acts of civil disobedience are acceptable and which are distorting their goal 

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? - doc. he (privately) dreams of retiring (eventually) and living out his lifelong dreams of being a househusband. so

Who is the more loved parent? - SHUT THE FUCK UP RIGHT NOW GET OUT OF MY HOUSE IM GONNA BEAT YOUR ASS. but ig lion??? BUT ONLY BECAUSE THEIR SON HAS KNOWN HIM LONGER. doc is half Dad and half Cool Uncle Who Gives Me Spray Paint And Tells Me To Make Myself Heard (to clarify, i know doc is a pacifist, but im kinda projecting my own sentiment of “we’ve tried to be peaceful but you wouldn’t give us the time of day. now that we’ve “acted out” we’ve gotten your attention, and rest assured, things are going to change.” he won’t hurt anybody, he’s just tired of having to be everyone’s “muslim friend” and educating people on things they could google themselves)

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? - it used to be lion out of necessity, but when people started asking about his “wife” he was really torn between telling them that he and his son’s mother separated, but now he has a partner and his son seems very happy about it. when doc finally attends a meeting with lion, people really struggle to hide their shock. a few clunky but well-meaning “we support you”’s and “we’re sorry for everything that’s been going on”’s later, doc has used his charm to make friends with literally everyone. from then on, he is on pta duty on behalf of lion and his ex

Who cried the most at graduation? - lion! his parents purposefully didn’t show at his, so it’s a big deal for him to show his son just how proud he is. doc tears up a little too, but manages to mostly keep it together so he can support lion, who spends most of the day heave-crying about how proud he is into his husband’s shoulder. gustave just pats him on the back and tells him that they’ll run out of donuts if they don’t get to the concession stand soon

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? - doc. civil disobedience, baby!! he has never been caught. lion fears the law after his youth, so he tries to avoid any visits to law enforcement. he also can’t stand to see his son behind bars

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking? - doc. househusband, remember?

Who is the most picky in their food choice? - doc, but only because he can be a bit of a spice supremacist. he has to get his ingredients from these very specific farms and markets or else his great grandmother will begin manifesting in their house to curse them

Who does the grocery shopping? - doc, bc he does NOT trust lion to not just sweep all of the microwave ramen and kraft mac n cheese into the cart then sprint to self-checkout

How often do they bake desserts? - whenever possible. doc and maestro live by the philosophy “don’t do anything halfway” if they’re going to go through the trouble of making a meal, it will have multiple courses. 

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? - doc is more of a salad eater but only for ease of consumption with halal laws. he adores filet mignon

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - lion! maestro enlists himself as assistant head chef after walking into the base’s kitchen one day to find lion covered in flour and lying facedown on the floor, crying

Who is more likely to suggest going out? - also lion! though he’s memorized doc’s order at all of their favorite restaurants, so he usually just gets take out and puts on a big show of being a “tired housewife who works in the kitchen all day just for this one meal” and setting up the table so it’s all nice and romantic

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidently while cooking? - lion. he tried crème brûlée once. never again 

Chores:

Who cleans the room? - lion. organization is everything to this man. doc helps with laundry and such, but for the most part he leaves organization to lion and his systems (think leslie knope levels of planning and organization)

Who is really against chores? - neither! they both understand that teamwork makes the dream work, baby!!

Who cleans up after the pets? - doc, since lion’s already asked him which color hanger should represent “clothes i can tear off my husband before we fuck” and he needs a Moment

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - neither. they don’t own a broom

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? - lion because of the deep-seated catholic urge to appear perfect in front of others, and doc because people will gossip, olivier!

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? - lion. he immediately called doc into the room and asked “is this your stash of drug money?” doc, who had been asleep because it was 3 in the morning on a saturday, just stares at him

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? - it is so bold to assume they don’t shower together to “cut costs”

Who takes the dog out for a walk? - lion is known in their neighborhood as the man who walks cats. there is a facebook page where people post pictures of him walking his cats. vigil is an admin

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - LITERALLY EVERY HOLIDAY GETS DECORATIONS. lion makes his own for the muslim holidays since there really aren’t many “of good quality” in stores. when they first started dating, doc came home to find his house covered in ramadan decorations, and lion standing precariously on a ladder, trying to string up fairy lights while learning how to pronounce important arabic words. needless to say, doc cries

What are their goals for the relationship? - mutual joy and contentment!!!! 

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? - doc. he’s sleepy

Who plays the most pranks? - lion, but they’re stupid ones like replacing certain pictures with danny devito. doc gets back at him by replacing pictures of jesus with ewan mcgregor, and putting yoda into his nativity scene. lion doesn’t notice

#ask #anonymous #r6s doc #r6s lion #doc/lion #ass alert! #could you tell i forgot whether or not lion's ex and son had names #thank you for interacting!

[promptistrashqueen]

Afternoon Gifts (Babyfic)

For starter’s, I decided to post this now because it’s growing larger than I want to wait for. Also this is a “Fuck you the ten year time skip never happened and no bodies fuckin’ dead” AU! Featuring SunPrince Prompto and MoonPrince Noctis (because I love them and they get to be gay married okay)

Noctis sucks in a breath, staring at the floor, his hand still on the doorknob as he tries to find the words he’s about to need.

How the fuck...his dad might’ve managed to ask the impossible in having Noctis deliver the news.

Next time, he’s definitely just going to make sure Prompto comes with him to a “one-on-one” with the King. After all, Prompto’s a Prince now too and more than capable of handling the job.

“Hey Noct!”

Prompto’s footsteps are familiar, quick and light like he’s not fully tethered to the ground but stopping hard, like he almost forgot to stop moving forward. Noctis closes his eyes and sighs, looks like he’s out of thinking time.

“Oh...bad meeting?”

Noctis shakes his head, hand sliding off the door as he straightens up and leans back, brushing his hair off his forehead and looking at the ceiling, anywhere but his husbands face.

“Not...bad. Dad just wanted to talk about some “future” stuff…”

Prompto frowns, Noctis can practically hear the sound of his lips turning down but he tips his head back down to look just in case he’s wrong. He’s not.

“What kind of “future” stuff?”

He really, really wishes Prompto didn’t already sound so worried, but he supposes he has the right. After all the last few times this sort of thing had come up it had resulted in Noctis and Regis fighting, since Regis had initially not wanted Noctis to marry Prompto and then later Noctis hadn’t wanted to face his father’s mortality.

“It’s the ‘Noctis you must produce an heir’ kind. I was kinda hoping he’d forget about that.”

Prompto’s expression is concerned and worried for a brief moment and then a smile spreads and he laughs, like Noctis doesn’t recognize the defenses by now.

“Oh! Well we can’t have a kid dude, so what, does he want you to cheat on me?”

Noctis groans and shakes his head, moving to the couch in their apartment and flopping down on it, loosening his tie as he goes.

“No, of course not, he loves you too much. He wants...he wants us to look for a surrogate.”

Prompto huffs but starts tugging off Noctis shoes anyways, “That’s a lady to carry your baby yeah?” 

Noctis snorts and nods, letting his eyes slip closed as he relaxes a little.

“Do you have to sleep with her or can we just...I don’t know, turkey baster thing it?”

 “It’s called in vitro. Turkey-baster...you’ve been watching shitty 80’s movies again haven’t you?”

Prompto laughs and Noctis feels a little more of the tension leave him, it’s a genuine sound and he’s glad Prompto’s at least willing to talk about this, even if it is awkward as hell.

“I only watched like..a couple! And you’re not answering my question Noctis!”

The slight raise of Prompto’s voice belied his genuine concern and Noctis opened his eyes again, sitting up and catching one of Prompto’s hands in his, stroking his thumbs over the skin.

“Hey, hey...I don’t have to sleep with her, at least, I shouldn’t. We can do IVF stuff and everything. WE have to agree on who it is too...I told dad I wouldn’t do it if you were too against it or we couldn’t find someone we both liked.”

He presses a kiss to Prompto’s freckled cheek and tugs his lover’s hand again so he steps around the arm of the couch and sits, letting Noctis scoot around until his head is in Prompto’s lap.

Long fingers shift through his hair and Noctis smiles a little against the fabric of Prompto’s lazy day yoga pants. He always likes coming home to him, but even more when Prompto’s dressed comfy, Noctis’ own smell clings to him in his borrowed shirt and the Prince relaxes further.

“I have no idea who to ask even...and they have to be willing and in good health.”

Prompto hums thoughtfully, “What about Cindy?”

 Noctis groans, Prompto’s maybe still a little infatuated with the royal mechanic. His husband chuckles and pokes his cheek.

“Not that! Dude, she’s...she kinda looks like me.”

Prompto’s tone takes on an odd strained note and Noctis rolls too look up at him, seeing the way he tries to hide what he’s thinking, but it’s there still, to Noctis.

“Oh.”

Prompto gives him a quick smile and a raised eyebrow.

“You think it might look more like our kid then?”

Prompto’s nod is a little sheepish and he bites at his lip, but Noctis takes a moment to imagine, not a child of his and Cindy’s, but a baby with Prompto’s almost curls and blue-black hair, big blue eyes and a smattering of freckles, Prompto’s nose and Noctis’ mouth. His chest tightens oddly and he looks away from Prompto, staring at the ceiling.

He thinks about how Cindy’s features will change the image, maybe green eyes and skin more tan, true curls. It’s too close and too far at the same time and he swallows hard.

“I dunno man.”

Prompto shrugs, “Yeah, freckles and your skin? Probably not a great look.”

He still looks a little put out though and Noctis taps his nose.

“It’s not the freckles Prom. If anything, it’s the accent.”

That draws a laugh from him and Noctis grins, leaning up for a languid kiss. “We’ve got time.”

He mutters, against lips that are quickly becoming more interested in not-talking.

“I’ve taken the liberty of drawing up a list of options for you and Prompto to consider. They are by no means the only women who might be suitable, but certainly those I thought you would be comfortable with.”

 Noctis accepts the file with all the grace of an alligator with indigestion and Ignis frowns at him.

“Iggy...come on, it’s a bit early for all of this don’t you think?”

Ignis presses his fingers together, leveling his trademark advisors stare at Noctis,

“Normally I would agree, but the council is pushing for a decision to be made. You’ve been married nearly two years now and it’s no secret how long you dated before then, they seem to believe you should be looking toward your duty now. You’re father’s health is not declining nearly as quickly as it was before the treaty, but they are cautious. No one can know how long it may take to conceive and if your first choice is not...optimal, adjustments must be made.”

Noctis flinches, fingers pressing harder where he’s gripping the file, too many reminders of how little time there may be until he finds himself crowned.

 “And they know that once I put on the ring, I’ll hardly have the energy to raise a child.”

He can’t help the bitterness of the words as he looks aside, it’s something he tries not to think about, something Prompto’s good at dismissing, even though they both know there will come a day when he can’t keep up with the energetic blonde. It’s an icy grip around his heart now.

Ignis’ voice breaks through the melancholy, “Noct, you can’t know that. The draw of the crystals lessens all the time. The scourge is being eradicated and it’s power isn’t so needed.You’ll have plenty of time. I...I believe taking this, “ he touches the folder, the advisor is gone, replaced by the friend, “and thinking about the woman you’re looking for will calm the council’s frenzy, give you and Prompto time to find who you want and to adjust to the thought of a child. It’s why I took this task as well, so there would be no one pushing for a hasty choice.”

Noctis nods slowly, watching Ignis sit back in his chair, light blue dress shirt perfectly pressed, well fitted grey slacks and perfectly matched belt, shoes, and cufflinks. He looks down at himself, a loose tee and a borrowed pair of Prompto’s work out pants, barefoot. 

“I...I haven’t thought much...about the actually having a kid part.”

Ignis seems to know, as usual, what his concern is, “That’s why I thought it important for you to have time. For what it’s worth, I believe you and Prompto will make very capable, if somewhat unorthodox, parents.”

 Noctis swallows, the folder in his grasp weighs more than it should,

“Thanks, Ig.”

Prompto’s notes are filled with smiley faces and Noctis just rolls his eyes and he moves the one covering the woman’s name. It’s not particularly familiar and it takes him a long moment to place her face.

“The wedding...she came with someone?”

Prompto shrugs, “Dunno, I thought she was pretty, you should have pretty babies.”

He scoops another bite of fro-yo up, “but she’s also got a few health problems and we don’t know her at all, so...eh?”

Noctis snorts and pulls her information out, settling her into the pile of “no” that is growing far too quickly beside them on the large bed. He finds there’s a few of them he might be alright with but Prompto’s good at pointing out the cons of most of them. He’s trying not to be too happy about that, after all it would be easier if they could just chose someone.

He dismisses the next woman immediately, he remembers her, the way she sneered at Prompto, “Common folk are not welcome at my gala’s, but I suppose our young Prince is still learning.”

Prompto glances at her face and sticks his tongue out at the photo, “She was so displeased when I didn’t let her come to our reception.”

Noctis raises an eyebrow at him, even as he takes a bite and says, “what?” around a glob of fro-yo.

“Ignis is around too much if you’re saying “displeased” give me my husband back.”

Prompto grins and immediately has to slurp a little of the melting treat off his chin. Noctis just bumps his shoulder and looks back at the folder, a surprised sound tumbling out.

“Luna?”

Prompto sounds just as surprised, his notes ended the one before, though after a moment’s thought he nods, “Doubt Nyx’d like that.”

 Noctis just stays quiet, touching the picture of the oracle. He glances at Prompto, who has already dismissed her, and back to the photo.

“I mean...we do know her pretty well.”

 Prompto’s face goes blank so fast that Noctis feels his stomach curl, “Yeah. We know you’re almost-wife really well. I love Luna Noct, but it’s not a good idea.” “

Why?”

 It’s more accusatory than he means but Prompto doesn’t get angry, just sets his spoon and bowl aside and takes a deep breath.

“There’s still people who think it shoulda been her right? If you have a kid with her...it’s only gonna get worse. Our marriage will seem weaker and Luna’s having the same trouble we did since Nyx is kinda like me. We don’t wanna do that to her, or to us. I...I don’t know if I’d be okay with it too.”

Prompto rubs his hand over his wrist and Noctis bites back his instinctive comments, thinking. Prompto’s right and really, looking back at Luna’s picture, he can’t imagine having a child with her now, not to mention the Blood of the Oracle mess it might make. He sets the photo aside and leans to swipe a finger through Prompto’s yogurt, kissing his cheek apologetically.

“You’re right but this...ugh. It’s so stupid! How are we supposed to choose some woman? What if they want to raise the kid too? They have to be someone we can be around a lot, because I don’t want to make them stay away or anything...I just thought...Luna would be easier for us that way.”

Prompto nods, “I know Noct. I have no clue dude, who else is left?”

They scoot closer, shoulder to shoulder in the middle of their bed and look at the next person. Crowe’s a friend, but she’s already told them both she never wants a kid, too much chance of her dying in service and she’s just..not good with them. They don’t say anything as they set her aside, there’s no way Ignis could’ve known. 

The last person in the file makes Noctis cough and Prompto whistles, Iris Amicitia.

 “That’s….”

Prompto doesn’t have to finish the sentence as he stares at the picture of Iris, old enough now of course but still he remembers her a few years back. Noctis just groans and flops back, disturbing their pitiful yes pile.

 “If Ignis wants us dead, he could just poison us.”

#babyfic #part 1 #FFXV FAnficition #Promptis #Prompto argentum #noctis lucis caelum #ignis stupeo scientia #picking babymoms is hard mmmkay #Iris Amicitia #SunPrince #MoonPrince #established relationship #babies!