#getting sad over the stupid gay clown movie again

[fruitbythefoot7]

y’all i just remembered eddie kaspbrak is fucking dead

#getting sad over the stupid gay clown movie again #i genuinely forget that he actually died and the fix it fics arent canon #what do you MEAN he didnt survive and him and richie are living together happily??? #whatever its canon to me #eddie kaspbrak #reddie #it chapter 2

[thoughtfullyyoungduck]

It’s been a long long time

Summary: Eddie left with Richie the day after he got back from Derry, leaving you with your mother. A few months pass and you’re finally going to see your dad again, but you’re not all that excited. 

warnings: curse words and some homophobic comments 

A/N: I really enjoyed writing this, I hope you like. Please let me know what you think!

You had no idea why you were here right now. The airport was bustling with a bunch of people, who all seemed to be as hurried as he other, pushing past each other without a second glance. You did not want to step on the plane. The row in front of you kept getting smaller, and the realization that you would have to get up from you seat made you sigh. The flight attendant glanced your way, and you shot her a small smile as an hello, before dragging yourself upright.

You watched the plane from the window for one last time, bidding your adieu to New York for at least three weeks. You loved living in New York. Despite the fact that life at home had always been hectic, it was home, and were feeling a little sad that you had to leave it. Not as sad as it made you however to think about having to see your dad and his boyfriend. That’s where you were going after all. To spend the entirety of three weeks with a man who had abandoned you for a man, leaving you all by yourself with your deranged mother.

You winced as the thought crossed your mind, despite her many flaws, your mother was your mother and you loved her to bits. But that didn’t mean she was in any way a good person. She was overbearing, an drove everyone who tried to get close to you away. Myra loved to lock you up in your room, using whatever excuse came to mind to keep you at home.

Your dad was a solace, who often helped you sneak out when you really wanted to go somewhere. It felt like it was you and him against the world at those times, and that only made it hurt more when he packed his bags in a flurry, without even saying goodbye, calling a few days later to say he was divorcing your mom and was moving to California with a guy called Richie Tozier.

He only stopped by once, to pack his bags and to sign the divorce papers, two days after his original phone call. When he did he told you that he was sorry, that a lot of things had happened and he just couldn’t stay with Myra. That wasn’t the problem though. You knew Eddie deserved more than what your mom could give you, and it didn’t even matter that it was a guy he was leaving her for. Straight, gay or bi was all the same to you, as long as the person was happy. But Eddie left, and after signing the divorce papers, you had never heard off him again.

It had been six months and in those six month you had never received a phone call or a letter, or any sign of life. You had looked Richie up of course, and thank to videos on the internet you found out that he and your father were living happily in their big house with a stupid Pomeranian. Richie seemed like a fun guy at first, judging by interviews and tweets he had posted, until your mother had begun to tell you the truth. The ringing of your new phone was what drew you out of your thoughts. You had gotten a new phone right before leaving, because you had accidently dropped your old one. You glanced at the screen, the name dad popping up. You placed your passport onto the counter, while picking up the phone with one hand.

‘Hello,’ you said into the phone, fumbling your way through baggage control.

‘Hi, Y/N. How are you?’ Eddie sounded breathless, almost like he was surprised that you picked up.

‘Why are you calling me right now Dad? I’m about to get on the plane.’ You could hear how snappy you sounded, but you couldn’t help it. You were not looking forward to seeing him again.

‘Sweetheart, please’, Eddie pleaded, and in the background you could hear Richie’s voice, though you couldn’t make out what he was saying.

‘Leave it, I’m on the plane now, did you want something,’ you asked.

‘I just wanted to let you know that I’ll be there when the plane lands okay. I brought you a gift’, Eddie said, just as you entered the plane and trudged towards your seat. You were the last one boarding, and you knew you had to hurry.

‘I don’t want anything from you, we’re about to take off, Goodbye.’ You ended the call without waiting for a reply of his.

You dropped in your seat, the uncomfortableness already settling in. This was going to be a long five hour flight.

You tried to sleep, and you managed to pretty quickly. While you slept, you dreamed. You dreamed off fights and arguments, of your mother getting even more overbearing as Eddie left, of a clown terrorizing you. You shot up, your breathing heavy, but you were relieved to see that you hadn’t screamed, like you usually did after a night terror. For some reason, you had always had dreams with a clown in it, ever since you were only four years old. Myra was convinced it was either a tumor or a behavioral problem, but Eddie had consoled you, telling you, that it was probably just picked up form watching a scary movie as a child and being traumatized by it.

You still had about 3 hours to go, and you shuffled down, trying to get at least more comfortable. You still couldn’t believe you had actually agreed to this. Though to be fair, your mother had made it pretty clear you didn’t have a choice but to go. It was strange, considering Myra was the one who had chucked all the pictures that Eddie was in away.

It had actually been kind of funny, seeing Myra lose it like that. It gave her something else to focus all her anger on. You let your mind wonder towards the nearby future. You imagined all the scenarios that could happen once you landed, and came to the conclusion that a lot of it was depending on you. There was no excuse for what Eddie had done, but there was no doubt in your mind that he would apologize profoundly, and it was up to you to decide whether or not you would accept it.

You were so mad, and all you wanted to do was to stay in your room for this whole vacation. The hurt that you felt when Eddie just started his life anew, dropping you like you were weighing him down. Myra told you that he had never really cared about you. That Richie had come first. Richie hadn’t wanted you there, and Eddie had obligated. He didn’t want you in his life, he wanted to start fresh. It confused you that he suddenly demanded you to come over.

Your mom had said that it just to keep up appearances. You figured she was right, but that knowledge would not help you get out of this mess. You were going to be with them for a while, and you needed to at least be polite to them. You were just going to have to suck it up.

The landing of the plane was not nearly as bad as you had thought it would be, and in no time, you had arrived in California. It was warm, a lot warmer than it was in New York, and while you dragged you suitcase behind you, you were starting to regret not opting for a dress. You were almost glad when you saw the familiar figure of your dad. He was easy to recognize with his small figure and his hair that still looked like the day he had left you with Myra, but he looked different somehow too. He was less tense, his shoulders dropped in a relaxed state.

The permanent frown on his face was no longer there either, and it reduced the wrinkles in his face. He looked younger somehow, not just because he had less wrinkles, but because he had this childlike happiness like a cloud hanging above him. He seemed to stand straighter too, like he was more proud of who he was then he was before. You grind your teeth together, clearly he was happier here than he had ever been with you, off course your mother would tell the truth for once in her life and it would be about this.

He didn’t seem completely relaxed though, his eyes kept scanning the room as if he was looking for something, and his eyes screamed how terrified he was. A hand was placed on his shoulder, you’re your eyes followed the hand to a body. The body of one Richie Tozier. The best way to describe this guy was in the word of General Leia herself: a scruffy looking nerf herder.

His hair looked like it hadn’t been washed in weeks, he was wearing an awful looking Hawaiian shirt, and his glasses lay askew on his face. It looked almost comical. He looked nothing like in the interviews, where he had seemed somewhat decent. This guy screamed that he was comedian. Another hand joined the other on Eddie’s shoulder. It looked like he was giving Eddie a massage, who seemed to be enjoying it. Richie said something, but you were too far away to hear what he said. Whatever it was, it made Eddie laugh, loud and unbothered, and you had almost never seen him laugh like that. It was insane to think that this was the guy your dad would want to be with. They were so unlike each other.

It stung, worse than you had expected it to do. It seemed like this was completely different Eddie than the one you were used to. You gripped your suitcase tighter, shaking your head as if you could ban the angry thoughts away, and started walking forward. Richie was the first one to see you. His mouth dropped open a little, as if he was surprised to see you, as if you could just jump out of plane  and not show up. He mumbled ‘Eddie’, to your dad, and that caused Eddie to look over your way as well.

Eddie rushed forward, Richie following him like a shadow. ‘Y/N’, Eddie mumbled, instantly enclosing his arms around your shoulders as soon s he got within touching distance. The urge to lean back is strong, but you do your best to stay as still as possible. If you were being honest, you really missed your dad’s hugs. His demeanor might have changed, but his personality was clearly still the same. He pulled back, asking you how your flight was, if you were alright and if anyone had bothered you during the flight.

For a second, it was like nothing had changed. Your dad had always been protective, not like your mother, who took it to the extreme, but still protective. Then you was movement behind Eddie, and you realized why you were there in the first place. You still hadn’t even responded to Eddie’s questions, but you had already turned all of your attention to Richie.

Richie, who waved dumbly, a weary smile on his face. ‘Hi’, he said, ‘It’s nice to finally meet you.’ He had an air of arrogance in the way he spoke, but somehow he still seemed kind regardless. Richie seemed like the kind of guy that you would have to truly know, beneath all of his layers, to like him.

‘Hello’, you responded blankly, taking notice of the was his face fell as you spoke. The tone of your voice was cold, but you had intended it that way. As long as you kept your voice cold, you kept it neutral, and if kept it neutral then you could maybe survive this entire trip. Despite this mantra going over and over in your head, you couldn’t help but feel slightly guilty when you watched the way Richie’s eyes seemed to turn sadder. He laughed awkwardly, shoving his hands deep into his pockets.

‘You almost look as cute as your dad did on you age’, he said, clearly intending it as a joke but it fell flat miserably. Eddie tried salvaging the situation by laughing at his joke, but it was obvious that it was not the kind of first impression he had wanted to make. When you turned around towards your bags, you could see Richie shoot Eddie a helpless look, who just shrugged back. They looked kind of cute together.

‘Y/N’, Eddie tried again, because he was desperate to get any kind of reaction from his daughter at all.

‘I’m really tired dad, can we just go to your house?’ Y/N asked blandly.

‘Yeah of course’, Eddie replied, gesturing his hand in the way they were supposed to be going.

When you entered the car, you swear you could hear Richie whisper, ‘at least she still called you dad, Eds,’ you chose to ignore the words, busying yourself by typing away on your cell phone. You didn’t look up once during the entire ride.

Richie was the one who carried your bag into the massive house. It was located at the edge of a street, and though it wasn’t a villa, it was close too it. When you walked into the hallway, after passing the front yard full of flowers and green, you saw the staircase on your left. On your right was the living room, a big open space with a massive sofa and flatscreen. There was also a piano, but when you looked closer you saw that there was a layer of dust on it.

Following that you came into the kitchen and dinner room, the walls being a beige color. ‘We could make you something if you want? We weren’t sure what to cook so.’ Eddie spoke, running his hand through his hair. He looked even more nervous than before. The conversation had not gone the way he hoped. ‘I’m tired, I’d like to go to bed.’

Eddie nodded, but it was actually Richie that spoke up. ‘Yeah sure, I’ll show you to your room,’ Richie proposed, waiting for your conforming nod before walking ahead. ‘Goodnight Y/N’, Eddie called out to you, not expecting an answer and not getting one either.

Your room was a pastel pink color, with a twin sized bed in the middle. There was a desk in the corner, and a big window looking out over the garden. There was a built in closet, and while Richie dropped the suitcase at the side of your bed, you went to check it out. It was filled with clothes, every favorite color of yours was in it, but most of it were sweaters and long pants. You glanced at Richie, still waiting, with a questioningly look. ‘Oh’, Richie exclaimed, ‘we bought those when you were supposed to come over during winter.’

You raised one eyebrow. ‘When was I supposed to come over?’ You asked, trying to make sense of what Richie was saying.

Richie frowned, scratching the back of his head. ‘You know, before you canceled. Eddie wanted to buy you something season appropriate because he know your mom would probably refuse to see reason and pack you way to hot clothes. When you canceled we kind off forgot it was in there.’ Richie looked almost accusingly at you.

Your hearts starts pounding, your face turning bright red. You grind your teeth together almost painfully, and Richie gulps slowly. You suddenly remind him a lot of Eddie, when Richie did something stupid again.

‘What the fuck, are you even talking about? I was never going to come here, how could I when dad didn’t even try to call me. This is so stupid, both of you are acting like it’s such a pleasure to have me here, well if it was then why did you guys just leave me with my mother?’ Your voice got increasingly louder towards the end, but you couldn’t help it. Who was he to judge you like this? A guy that had killed someone. A guy that looked like he didn’t know what the word shower was. He was the one your dad had chosen over you, and he knew you for an hour before he judged you like you were an open book.

‘Y/N, I don’t know what I said but I’m sorry I guess? Jesus you really are Eddie’s daughter aren’t you. He’s constantly making me apologize for everything too.’

Coming from anyone else, you would have found it funny. As it stand though, you find it hard find anything relating to Richie amusing.

‘See, look at that frown, that’s the exact one your dad gets when I’ve done something stupid.’ He laughs albeit vaguely, trying to drag a chuckle out of you. ‘I’ll just go fuck myself,’ he says, shaking his head while slapping his palm against his forehead harshly.  Just then Eddie appears in the doorway aswell, staring at Richie for a minute, a soft ‘Rich’ falling from his lips, before focusing on you.

‘What do you mean, when I was supposed to come here during winter? You never called me dad how was I supposed to come up here?’

Eddie looks appalled, taking a few quick steps towards you. ‘Y/N, I’ve called you twice a day since I left, I never gave up. When I called Myra a couple of months ago, I begged her to let you stay over, and she said she would ask you. We then agreed that you were going to come here to spend two weeks with us, but you cancelled last minute. Remember?’ Eddie explains, almost looking as confused as you feel.

Your mom had never told you he called. And she certainly hadn’t asked you to go spend some time with your dad before the summer. On the other hand, you had never received any phone calls from your dad, let alone two on the same day, so maybe it was possible that he was just making this whole thing up. You nodded to yourself, that must be what was happening.

‘Whatever, I just want to go to bed now.’ You said tiredly, and it wasn’t even a lie, because you were really tired. You needed some time to recharge.

‘Y/N’, Eddie tried again, but he was stopped when Richie stepped beside him.

‘Let’s her get some rest Eds, we’ll talk later.’

Eddie sighed but nodded none the less. ‘Alright, Enjoy your nap sweetheart. We’re just downstairs if you need anything.

‘Oh, we forgot to mention but some of our friends are going to come over today? We called ourselves the losers club but we were actually really cool. You’ll love them I’m sure. Did you knew that I met Spaghetti there? Yeah we were best friends since forever and then when I turned eleven I just suddenly had a crush on this weird hypochondriac with super tiny shorts.’ He laughed awkwardly, ‘And I still do, I mean you don’t have to like me, though I would love that because I really don’t want  leave Eds, but I’ll do if you want me to I just hope-‘

He was interrupted by Eddie’s shout of ‘Richie, You were rambling again.’

‘Right’, he muttered before turning around and walking out the room. Eddie shot you a small smile before closing the door behind him softly.

‘Really Richard? You had to mention my shorts?’

Despite the situation, you couldn’t help but laugh. Your father had always seen so uptight, to have someone call him Spaghetti just seemed so out of the ordinary.

You had hardly just rested your head onto your pillow, before you were pulled into a deep sleep.

A knock on the door pulls you from your slumber, your head shooting up from your pillow. You groan, the nap did the opposite of what the plan was. You felt more tired than before, and you were not looking forward to getting up at all. ‘Y/N, my friends will be here soon, maybe you should wake up?’, Eddie called out from behind the door. It sounded unsure, like a question, and that sounded really unlike your dad that it almost scared you.

You shouted a quick yes, before realizing that he said his friends were coming over, which meant that you were meeting even more people today. You were not looking forward to that at all.

You were curious however to hear more about who Eddie was when he was a kid. You had always asked him and he said that he couldn’t remember, but that all seemed like a bunch of bullshit to you. When you reached for your phone you came to the conclusion that you had forgotten to answer your mom’s call, and that she had left you a hurray of voicemails.

‘Y/N, where are you? Do you have any idea how worried I am about you? Did your dad pick you up? Have you met Richard yet? I need you to be careful sweetheart, you don’t want to catch what those disgusting q...queers.’ You winds at your mother’s words. You couldn’t help but feel for your dad, having to endure your mother for all these years, and even now.

‘Please call me back honey, you know that I miss you. I need you here, you understand that right? Call me back.’ You groaned. You knew that she hated you were coming to California, but you hadn’t expected her to call you eight times in a day. Calling her would be emotionally draining as always, but you really couldn’t put it off anymore.

By the time the phone call was done, you had heard the door open at least seven times. Nobody had come up again to come and get you, for which you were glad. Your mom didn’t ask about your flight, in fact, she didn’t ask anything about you but everything about Eddie. After finally getting her off the phone, you got up quickly and walked downstairs.

You paused on the stairs for a second, listening to the bustling sound of laughter coming from the living room. You hoped that the night would get by fast, and that meeting these people wouldn’t be too bad.

When you walked into the room, the chatter stopped and everyone turned to look at you. You smiled hesitantly, letting out a small; ‘hi.’

A man with dark curly hair responded first. He got up, looking collected as ever, reaching out to shake your hand. ‘Hi, I’m Stanley,’ he said. Next was his wife Patricia, followed by Bill, Audra, Mike Beverly and Ben. They seemed nice, but it was still awkward. You weren’t exactly talking freely to your dad, so it was weird to try and talk to these other people. You decided to sit next to Patty, because that was the spot closest to the door, and she seemed to be the friendliest.

‘How are you sweetie?’, she asked with a knowing smile on her face. You glance at her, trying to gauge what she was doing. You didn’t really know this person, and you didn’t know if she really cared for the answer or not. ‘I’m okay,’ you chose to say, going for the safe answer. She looked at you but didn’t say anything more. ‘I love your hair Y/N, it’s really pretty,’ Mike told her, interrupting the awkward silence that seemed to suffocate the room.

‘Yeah, she definitely gets that from her father’s side of the family. Miss K always looked so good when I sneaked in through the window.’

It pulls a few sniggers from the group, Eddie throwing out a ‘beep beep Richie’, but giggling himself.

‘You’re really funny Richie’, Stan deadpanned, looking entirely unbothered. It pulled a laugh out of you, unable to help yourself. Eddie’s head shot to you, a smile taking up most of his face. You break eye contact as fast as possible.

‘So Y/N, have you heard the story about how we all met?’

When you shook your head, Bill started the detailed story of a crazy summer where they did all fun and crazy types of things. You noticed that Eddie shot Bill some looks during his story, which caused Bill to stutter and change the course of his story. It was suspicious, but you were glad that everyone was focused on Bill instead of you.

‘And so Eddie chased Bowers away. He was so scared but he didn’t leave anyone behind.’

‘He didn’t leave you behind you mean’, you grumbled, louder than you had suspected. Eddie looked betrayed, kind of like you had slapped him in the face.

‘That’s enough, Y/N’, Eddie bellowed, his voice tinged with a hard edge. It was the first time since you had seen your dad that he actually acted like your own father. Strict but fair and you had missed this. But that didn’t mean Eddie could just do it, coming back into your life after not wanting to be in it for months. ‘Yeah, or what else? You’re going to ignore me again? Refuse to talk to me for ages?’

Eddie’s eyes are burning, both with fire and tears. ‘Alright that’s it. We’re talking about this, right now.’

At your hesitance, your father repeats the words. ‘Right now, Y/N’, he ads softer, ‘please.’

You follow him up the stairs, pointedly ignoring the stares of the ‘losers’. You feel like a small child walking up the stairs to be scolded. It’s the way you always feel around your mom, and you hate that you feel this way around your dad, the only person you really trusted throughout your childhood.

You follow your dad into his study upstairs, closing the door behind you. Eddie had already chose to sit down on the sofa, and he waited until you sunk down before opening his mouth. ‘Sweetheart, I really need you to tell me what’s bothering you. I’ve been patient with you, but you’ve done nothing but push me and Richie, being as distant as possible.’ He declaimed.

‘Why did you never call me?’ You began, the hurt coming true in your voice. ‘I get that you wanted to be with Richie, and had to leave mom. But why did you leave me?’ You started to cry, even though you didn’t want to. The first week when you were left alone at home, you cried all night. It was a great excuse for your mother to baby you once more, but you hadn’t been able to help it. Eddie frowned at you, he looked appalled.

‘I did call you, I even called Myra a few times, and she told me that you weren’t interested in talking to me. That you were mad and you didn’t want anything to do with me. She said you didn’t want to know me anymore because I was not your dad anymore.’ Eddie continued, trudging through. He looked hurt, like someone had stabbed him in back.

‘I said no such thing. I could never. Dad, how can you ever think that I would hate you because you were gay? I don’t care. As long as it makes you happy it doesn’t matter to me. I love you way too much for that. But that doesn’t change the fact that you left me with mom by myself.’ Eddie turned sad, opening his mouth to interject, but ultimately deciding against it and letting you finish.

‘I used to complain about her to you all the time, and I waited for you to come and get me, but you didn’t. Why didn’t you at least come to visit? I hate that I can’t hate you, or Richie. The guy is so stupidly funny, he’s hilarious.’ Eddie snorted despite himself, finally seizing his chance to respond to the accusations.

‘Y/N, I swear to you that I tried everything. Every single thing that I could. I left voicemails to  ask if you wanted to come here. I called your mom multiple times to beg her to let you visit. She finally relented when I told her that if I wasn’t allow to see you I’d call the police.

I couldn’t take you with me right away because that would be kidnapping, and by the time the divorce was finalized, I was scared that you didn’t want to see me anymore. I’m sorry Y/N, just please, I’m begging you. Just try to like it here. You’re always welcome here. You’re my daughter and I’m so proud that you are. If you don’t like It here that you can go home, I just want you to be happy and if that isn’t with me and Rich than I’ll accept that. The same goes if you want to stay here longer, you are just as much a part of this family as everyone else.’

You blinked a few times, really trying to see with clear vision, without the tears. Eddie’s words were genuine, you knew your father well enough for that. And you knew all of these things, you knew that logically your dad couldn’t just  drag you off across the country, but the hurt and doubt had wormed it’s way inside your head, and had changed your perspective on reality. It was actually kind of nice to have deep and meaningful conversations with someone, you hadn’t had that in a while.

You leaned forward, wrapping your arms around Eddie’s shoulders. He instantly reciprocated, bringing you as close as possible. You weren’t ready to forgive him quite yet, but you had missed your dad a lot, so you were going to do your best to leave the problems in the past.

‘Okay just’, Eddie laughed, standing up and walking towards the door. He placed his finger to his lips, mimicking a hush sign. He then waited for about five seconds, before pulling the door open. Richie fell flat on his face, letting out an ‘ouf’. You let out a surprised laugh. Richie scrambled back up, trying to be graceful about it, but failing miserably. ‘I was not listing in to you guys, at all.’ You couldn’t help but laugh again, you were not lying when you said Richie was funny.

‘What do you say we start over again and get some food downstairs, Bev brought cake and it’s as almost as good as Eddie’s ass,’ Richie joked. He watched as you scrunched up your nose, and Eddie smacked his arm.

Turns out that the ‘losers club’ had some great story’s about your dad growing up, and they were not shy about sharing. By the end of the night, you felt like you had known these people for years, if not hours. They called you an honorary member of the losers club, while Richie joked about you having to cut your palm in order for that to happen. Eddie wasn’t so happy with that statement. Richie was really good to your dad, even though they bickered to no end, you could see that they did it out of a place of love, and you had never seen a smile do big on your dad’s face as when he was with his real family.

You were sad when they night ended, and you hoped that you could meet Eddie’s friends again soon.

‘Maybe next time you can come over to our house,’ Beverly said as she hugged you.

‘That would be great’, you responded with a big smile on your face, not noticing the proud look Eddie shot you.

Right after the door closed, your phone rang. It was your mother, once again. Worried that something might be wrong, you picked up, respectfully walking into another room, because you were sure your dad wouldn’t want to talk to her.

‘Mom, is everything?’ You asked the second you picked up. You heard a sigh of relief on the other side of the phone. ‘Oh honey I was so worried about you, you haven’t let me know you’re okay in so long.’

You frowned, looking up at the clock. ‘Mom I talked to you like five hours ago,’ your voice was questioning. There was absolutely no reason for your mom to be this worried, she knew you were with your dad. ‘Is this entire trip going to be like this?’

‘Excuse you Y/N, don’t you dare talk to me in that way. I’m calling with good news, I’ve found a way for you to come home. I can book you a plane and you can be home with your mommy in two days.’ She sounded really smug, like she had just won something. You glanced up when the door opened, Eddie carrying two mugs of hot chocolate in his hands. He placed one on the table in front of you, smiling warmly at you, before making his way back to where he came from. Before he closed the door, you could see Richie waiting excitedly for him to return, placing his broad hands on his back.

He gave you you’re privacy, without you even having to ask it off him. Your mom would never ever do that. You’re heart felt heavy all of a sudden. ‘Y/N’, Myra continues to chirp in you ear, trying to get your attention. ‘I don’t want to leave her mom’, you say, though you weren’t even aware that the words were forming. Eddie freezes, just before the door is shut. He stares at you, and he looks conflicted, like he doesn’t know what to do.

You place your phone on speaker, indicating that it was alright for him to listen in. He steps into the room more, showing that Richie is also in shock and wanting to listen in.

‘Y/N, what do you mean? Don’t you want to live with your mommy? Why would you want to stay there?’ Your mom demanded, her voice sounding slightly hysterical.

‘Because I like it here mom. I haven’t been able to spend time with dad in a long time, and now that I can I really want to take full advantage of it.’ You explain, but god knows that nothing could ever get through to Myra when she was in one of her moods.

‘Like it there? Honey it isn’t safe for you out there. What if you catch’, her voice lowered to a whisper, even though she had no idea that Eddie and Richie were listening in. ‘what they have.’

Richie gasps angrily, his hands squeezing together in tight fists. Eddie shoots him a warning look. You guessed he got used to the homophobic comments.

‘Mom, stop it. That isn’t okay. There’s nothing wrong with that. Love can come from anyone and really they’re happy.’

Eddie and Richie share a look of love towards one another, their hands finding each other’s.

‘Y/N, don’t even start with this. Your father left you remember. He didn’t call you or came to visit you once. He only demanded to see you now and he threatened me to let you come here, after not caring about you for such a long time.’ She reprimands, and how stupid it might seem, it makes you feel small again.

Eddie’s face turned red in anger. ‘How dare you. How fucking dare you? I called her every day, and I don’t know how she didn’t get them but I did. I called you at least two times a week to ask you to get her to call me back, you know this. In those phone calls I constantly asked if she could stay over with me for a couple of weeks, and you said no. So yes I did threaten to call the police in you because you wouldn’t let me see my own daughter Myra’, Eddie snarked, Richie silently cheering him up.  

‘Edward, get my daughter back on the line. I did that for her own good. Do you have any idea how heartbroken she was when you left? I know that if I let you talk to her she would only get hurt more so I blocked your number when she wasn’t looking. You bad news Edward and I want my daughter to come home now.’

You were shocked. You had had no idea that she blocked your father’s number, cutting him out of your life. And all this time you kept crying and hurting and blaming your dad while it was all your mothers fault. That little-

‘You bitch’, you screech, unable to think clearly through your feeling of hatred towards her. ‘I hate you. You’re the worst mother ever. I’m not coming home, not today, and not in three weeks. Goodbye Myra.’

Richie shrieked with laughter, hitting his knee with his own hand. He doesn’t even attempt to conceal how funny he finds it, and that only makes things funnier.

You mother screams to the funny, but you’re pulled into a side hug by Richie, and you choose to ignore what she says.

‘You heard her Myra, we’ll call you. I think you should leave her alone for a while, in fact I might just block your number.’ Eddie says, and before she has a change to answer, he ends the call.

He joins the awkward hug, pressing a kiss to your head and Richie’s lips.

‘Welcome home kid.’  

#reddie #reddie imagine #My writing #reddie x daughter #reddie as parents #reddie x daughter reader #eddie x daughter #richie x daughter #eddie as a parent #richie as a parent #the losers club imagines #it chapter two imagine #it chapter 2

[winchesters-love]

Get To Know Me!!! A Little Too Well

1. Name: Nicole 2. Nickname(s): Nik, Nikki 3. Birthday: June 21 4. That makes you: 18 5. Where were you born: Nebraska 6. Location right now: Same place 7. Shoe size: 7 8. How many piercings?: None 9. Tattoos?: None, but I'd love a few <3 10. When you wake up you're: Confused and even more tired 11. When your about to sleep you're: Wide awake 12. Zodiac sign: Cancerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr/Gemini 13. Chinese sign: Rabbit 14. Righty or Lefty: Righty 15. Innie or Outie: Innie 16. School: Out of school :P Section Two: Looks 17. Nationality: White 20. Weight: 110 lbs 21. Height: 5'6 22. Braces? No 23. Glasses? Yes Section Three: Private Life 24. Do you have a boy/girlfriend? I do! 25. If so, who? The love of my life, Nate 26. If not, do you have a crush on someone? My boyfriend 27. Who has a crush on you? No one haha 28. Ever cheated on your bf/gf? Nope 29. Who was your first kiss: Nate, he kisses pretty good 30. Who was your last kiss: Nate <3 31. Are you a virgin? Yes 32. Ever had a threesome before? No 33. NQ- Ever been swarmed by ladybugs?: Nope 34. Have you ever been in love? Yes 35. Broken any hearts? Not that I know of 36. Got your heart broken? Quite a few times 37. Ever liked a friend? Yea 38. What happened? We started dating

Section Four: Past Relationships 39. How many relationships have you been in? 1 40. How many were serious enough to count: I'm in it 41. Who were those serious ones: I've only been in 1 42. NQ- Who USED to be your best friend: Well, he's still my best friend so 43. What made them different: Nothing 44. What happened: We started dating 45. Best boy/girlfriend: The one I'm dating 46. Worst boy/girlfriend: N/A 47. Ever been kissed: Yes 48. Who do you want back: No one 49. What do you regret: Focusing too much on guys 50. Why? Because I would've done so much better in school Section Five: Favourites 51. Song: Sound of Silence 52. Movie: Zootopia 53. Food: Anything really 54. Drink: Apple Juice 55. Store: Gamestop and Hot Topic 56. Television show: Stranger Things and Mom 57. Holiday: Christmas 58. Book: Grace Lost Series 59. Ice cream: Mint Chip 60. Sweets: Chocolate 61. Crisps: Doritos Jacked 62. Type of music: Pretty much every genre 63. Artist: Singer is Luke Bryan, Painter is Bob Ross 64. Word: Loquacious, vernacular 65. Time of day: Evening/night 66. Dressing: Ranch 67. Alcoholic drink: Don't drink 68. Colour(s): Blue, Red, Black, and White 69. Piece of clothing: Beanie 70. Character: My fursona 71. Smell: Fresh rainfall 72. Shampoo: Fructis 73. Soap: Fructis 74. Smiley: >3 75. Board game: Too many tbh 76. Sport: Soccer 77. Number: 5 78. Quote: "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself." Franklin D. Roosvelt 79. Animal: Wolf 80. Actor: Ryan Reynolds/Chris Pratt 82. Vegetable: Sugar snap peas 83. Fruit: Grapes 84. Place to be: In my room 85. Thing in your room: Pictures 86. Gum: 5-gum 87. Shape: Circle 88. Country: Europe 89. Mall: Any mall 90. Car: 67 Chevy Impala 91. Boy's name: Christopher 92. Girl's name: Chrissy 93. Family member: My brothers and my dad 94. Restaurant: Johnny Carinos 95. Movie place: The theater 96. Person to go to the movies with: Myself 97. Noise: Falling rain 98. Brand of Shoe: Airwalks 99. Brand of clothing: Aeropostle 100. Body part of a chicken: Thigh 101. Swear word: Asshat 102. Month: December 103. Possession: My ring 104. Team: Don't have a favorite 105. Season: Winter 106. Radio station: Pop station 107. Magazine: Don't read them 108. Favourite grade: Senior year 109. Least favourite grade: 5th grade 110. Teacher: Kindergarten 111. Least favourite teacher: Math teacher in 5th grade, he was a douche 112. Subject: Art/Choir 113. Subject to talk about: Anything and everything Section Six: Family 114. Who's your mum?: Not here 115. Who's your dad?: My role model 116. Any step-parents?: Yea, had a few 117. Any brothers?: 2 118. Any Sisters?: Nope 120. Coolest: Older brother 121. Loudest: Me 122. Best relative: My cousin 123. Worse relative: No one 124. Do you get along with your parents? My dad, yea 125. With your siblings? Mostly, we game with each other 126. Does anyone understand you? Yea 127. Do you have any pets? Nah 128. If so, what kind and name? 129. If not, what do you want as a pet? I want another dog, we had to get rid of ours Section Seven: School 131. Are you still in school? Nope 132. Did you drop out?: 2.75, I didn't pay attention freshman and sophomore year 133. Your current GPA: No thanks 134. Do you buy or bring lunch?: School bill paid for it 135. ABC's?: Know them 136. Favorite class: Choir and art 137. Play any sports at school?: Played soccer 138. Are you popular? With the outcasts 139. Favourite memory: Being the only girl good at soccer 140. Most humiliating moment: Falling in front of my close guy friends 141. Most funniest moment: Hitting someone in the face with a soccer ball 142. Most scared moment: Graduating Section Eight: What do you think of when you hear 145. Chicken: Bawk bawk 146. Dog: Soft puppy 147. Christina Aguilera: Music 148. Ricky Martin: Who? 149. 50 cent: Rapper 150. Poop: Emoji 151. Beach: Sand 152. Dessert: Cactus 153. Water: Blue 154. Osama: Bin Laden 155. Love: Life 156. Your little brother: Xbox One 157. Butt: Nice 158. Clowns: Pennywise 159. Wonder: Over Yander 16o. Brown: Pants 161. Banana: Yum 162. Sex: Rope 163. Parents: One 164. Homosexuals: Jensen and Jared 165. God: Father Section Nine: Do you believe in 166. God: Yes 167. Heaven: Yes 168. Devil: Yes 169. Hell: In a sense 170: Boogey man: No 171. Closet Monsters: Nah 172. Fortune telling: Nope 173. Magic: Nuh uh 174. Love at first sight: Depends 175. Ghosts: Nope 176. Voo-doo dolls: Nah 177. Reincarnation: Nope 178. Yourself: Ehh, not really Section Ten: Do you 179. Smoke: And kill my lungs? No thanks 180. Do drugs: Pfft, why would I? 181. Drink alcohol: Again, I'm not trying to die at a young age 182. Cuss: Yea 183. Sing in the shower: Sometimes... 184. Like school: Yea, it was the best place to be! 185. Want to get married: Mhmm, and I'm glad I found someone 186. Type with all of your fingers: Not really 187. Think you're attractive: Most days 188. Drink and drive: Fuck this 189. Snore: Sometimes 190. Sleep walk: Nope 191. Like watching sunrises and sunsets: Best place to be honestly Section Eleven: Have you ever 192. Flashed someone: On accident 193. Gotten so drunk til you threw up everywhere: I don't drink 194. Told that person how you felt: Yep 195. Been arrested: Nope 196. Gone to jail or juve: No 197. Skateboarded: Yes 198. Skinny dipped: In a bath 199. Rock climbed: Do it every summer 200. Killed someone: Nope 201. Watched porn: Nah 202. Gone on a road trip: Kinda 203. Went out of the country: Nah 204. Talked back to an adult: Yes 205. Broken a law: Nope 206. Got pulled over: Don't drive 208: Cried to get out of trouble: I don't usually do anything bad 209. Let a friend cry on your shoulder: I'm supposed to, I'm there to listen 210. Kissed a brother's or sister's friend: No 211. Kissed a friend's brother or sister: No 212. Dropped something on the floor and let someone eat it anyways: Nah, I usually eat it 213. Mooned someone: Yes, once 214. Shop-lifted: No 215. Worked at McDonald's: No thank you 216. Eaten a dog: A hot dog! 217. Give money to a homeless person: Yea, I've fed them too 218. Glued your hand to yourself: Yes 219. Kissed someone of the same sex: Playing Pocky 220. Had a one night stand: I have two right beside my bed 221. Smoked: Nope 222. Done drugs: No 223. Lose a friend because of your ex: I don't have any exes 224. Slap someone for being stupid: Yes 225. Had cyber sex: Sexted?? Kinda 226. Wish you were the opposite sex: A lot more often than I should sometimes. But for completely different reasons 227. Caught someone doing something: Yea 228. Played a game that removes clothing: Strip truth or dare ;) 229. Cried during a movie: All the damn time 230. Cried over someone: It's hard not to when you can't have an actor love you 231. Wanted to hook up with a friend: Yea, and I did 232. Hooked up with someone you barely met: Nah 233. Ran away from home: Nope 234. Cheated on a test: Once Section Twelve: Would you 235. Bungee jump: Nope 236. Sky dive: Hate heights 237. Swim with dolphins: Yes 238. Steal a friend's bf or gf: That goes against girl code 239. Try to be the opposite sex: No 240. Lie to the police: Hi officer my real name is Nicholas... Cage 241. Run from the police: No 242. Lie to your parents: Done it before 243. Backstab a friend for your own well being: That's just plain rude 244. Be an exotic dancer: Only for my boyfriend <3 245. NQ- Kill the president: Nah Section Thirteen: Are you 246. Shy: Yes, especially around new people 247. Loud: Extremely 248. Nice: I try to be 249: Outgoing: I fake being outgoing haha 250: Quiet: Yea 251. Mean: Depends, I'm mean to those I like 252. Emotional: Sad to say, but yea 253. Sensitive: Mhmm 254. Gay: I'm very happy 255. Strong: I wish, need to start working out 256. Weak: Yea 257. Caring: Yes, especially towards animals 258. Dangerous: Well, does this include caving? 259. Crazy: Uh huh 260. Spontaneous: I am the most random and spontaneous thing out there 261. Funny: I try to be, I fail at it 262. Sweet: To eat ;) 263. Sharing: With most things, but not my food 264. Responsible: Most of the time 265. Trustworthy: Definitely, if you want a secret kept come talk to me 266. Open-minded: Depends on what you mean 267. Creative: For the most part 268. Cute: Um, not even close, no matter how many of y'all say I am 269. Slick: They don't call me Nik the Slick for nothing 270. Smart: Yea 271. Dumb: I act like it 272. Evil: No 273. Ghetto: If only 274. Classy: As in sassy 275. Photogenic: Nope 276. Dependable: Only on a few select things 277. Greedy: Only with food 278. Ugly: Yes, 100 times over 279. Messy: With my life 280. Neat: With everything else 281. Perverted: You can say cookie and it'll go bad 282. Silly: Yea 283. A B****: I can be if you want me to be 284. A Good Listener: Mhmm 285. A Fighter: If you make me mad enough 286. A Party Animal: I'd rather read, thanks 287. A Game Freak: YES 288. A Computer Freak: I literally want to work on computers Section Fourteen: Future 289. Dream job: Animation 290. Dream house: Somewhere out in the country 291. Husband/Wife: My sweet redheaded boyfriend 292. Kids: 2 293. Names: Something with Ns 294. Pets: Literally so many 295. Car: Anything that gets me places 296. Age you would want to get married: I wouldn't mind getting married in the next few years 297. Best Man/Bride's Maid: My best friend Elena 298. Honeymoon: Anyplace that has a bedroom Section Fifteen: Your friends 299. Best friend: Elena, Nate, Jasmine, Kelsey 300. Known the longest: Nate 301. Craziest: Elena 302. Loudest: Elena and I 303. Shyest: Jasmine and Kelsey 304. Best hair: Kelsey 305. Best eyes: Kelsey 306. Best body: Nate 307. Most Athletic: Me 308. Hot-Tempered: Elena 309. Most impatient: Me 310. Shortest: Nate 311. Tallest: Kelsey 312. Skinniest: Me 313. Best singer: Me 314. Funniest: Literally all of us 315. Can always make you laugh: All of them 316. Wish you talked to more: Elena 317. Wish you saw more: All of them 318. Who drives you insane after a while: Elena, but in a good way 319. Who you can stay around forever and never get sick of: All of them 320. Ever lose a friend because you took it to the 'next level': Nah, I'm dating Nate 321. Whose always been there when you need them: All of them 322. Who is like your family: All of them 323. How many friends do you have?: Quite a few, and I love each and every one of them 324. How many are really close? About 10? Section Sixteen: The last 325. Thing you ate: Poptarts 326. Thing you drank: Apple juice 327. Thing you wore: My hoodie 328. Thing you did: This meme 329. Place you went: The store 330. Thing you got pierced or tattooed: Nothing 331. Person you saw: My dad 332. Person you hugged: My dad 333. Person you kissed: Nate 334. NQ- Person you beat to a juicy pulp: I wish I had done that to a couple jerks 335. Person you talked to online: Nate 336. Person you talked to on the phone: Nate 337. Song you heard: Vulnerable by Secondhand Serenade 338. Show you saw: Mom 339. Time you fought with your parents: Um... about a month or two? 340. Time you fought with a friend: Haven't for a while 341. Words you said: Fuck you is what I said Section Seventeen: Now 343. What are you eating: Poptart 344. What are you drinking: Apple juice 345. What are you thinking: About my boyfriend 346. What are you wearing: My hoodie 347. What are you doing: Writing this up 349. Hair: Down 350. Mood: Tired 351. Listening to: Spotify 352. Talking to anyone: Yea 353. Watching anything: Nah Section Eighteen: Yes or No 354. Are you a vegetarian: Mostly 355. Are you a carnivore: Nah 356. Are you heterosexual: Yes 357. Do you like penguins: Yes 358. Do you write poetry: Yes 359. Do you see stupid people: Yes 360. You + Me: No 361. Do you like the Osbournes: Yes 362. Can you see flying pigs: No 363. Do you sleep with stuffed animals on your bed: Yes 364. Are you from Afghanistan: No 365. Is Christina Aguilera ugly: No 366. Are you a zombie: No 367. Am i annoying you: Yes 368. Do you bite your nails: Yes 369. Can you cross your eyes: Yes 370. Do you make your bed in the morning: No 371. Have you touched someone's private part: Yes Section Nineteen: This or That 372. Winter or Summer: Winte 373. Spring or Autumn: Autumn 374. Shakira or Britney: Britney 375. MTV or VH1: MTV 376. Black or White: White 377. Yellow or Pink: Pink 378. Football or Basketball: Football 379. Mobile Phone or Pager: Mobile 380. Pen or Pencil: Pencil 381. Cold or Hot: Hot 382. Tattoos or Piercings: Tattoos 383. Inside or Outside: Inside 384. Weed or Alcohol: No 385. Coke or Pepsi: Pepsi 386. Tape or Glue: Tape 387. McDonald's or In-n-Out: In-Out Section Twenty: Opinions 388. What do you think about classical music: I like it 389. About boy bands: Nah 390: About suicide: Talk to someone if you're thinking about suicide. It is a very real thing and should not be joked about. I don't want to find out that any of you are no longer here because of suicide. I've lost 2 very close friends that way. 391. About people who try to force their opinions on you: They can kindly fuck off 392. About teen pregnancy: Only if they know they'll be able to take care of the baby 393. Where do you think you'll be in 10 years: With my husband in some country town 394. Who do you think you'll still be friends with in 5 years: Nate, Elena, Kelsey, Jasmine, hopefully all my friends 395. About gay men: They're human too Section Twenty-One: 396. Do you have a website: I'm working on building one 397. Current weather right now: Cold as balls 398. Current time: 7:00 399. Last thoughts: Byyyye

[le-koko-butter-blog]

John's Erotic Self. TFP meta reading.

Introduction

I recently re-watched The Final Problem and jotted down some notes regarding things I have yet to read in other meta here on tumblr. Perhaps, they are addressed on someone's blog but I have yet to come across it. Now, I can be completely and utterly wrong. As I was writing it, it felt super duper meta but it made a lot of sense to me. Feel free to add or correct what I have written. I'm putting this out here for a discussion about the text.

In order to even read this, you have to subscribe to or entertain the idea that TFP is from John's mind bungalow perspective. If you aren't of this opinion, you'll likely think everything I am saying is nothing but embellished bullshit. I assure you, I'm being entirely sincere.

The notes follow the events as they are laid out in the episode since I wrote down bullet points as I was watching. I was going to include pictures but alas, I am lazy.

Analysis

The Final Problem displays every genre but romance and yet, in its entirety it is a romance. There was a post going around that compared the cinematic shots to other films. The dialogue and the music are also genre-specific. I was tipped off initially because of the outrageous clown sequence at the beginning. I thought that they would go through all the movie genres and end up in romance but they did the opposite. This baffled me and made me lose confidence that I knew what the hell was going on (that was just the tip of the iceberg). There was no romance, partly because all the genre switches serve a function to highlight the fact that indeed BBC Sherlock is a romance as we have always known ever since S1E1. Of course, there is a lot of meta out there already talking about how the show is perceived versus how it really is. (I suspect that that Bond article Gattiss replied to was planted just to put the idea of Bond and shitty movies into our head).

If we also extend this to John's mind, the fact that he deliberately avoids romance is pretty telling. He's afraid to even consider it in fear of its implication. I think this is the theme to the whole episode. Romance is just another word for erotic love. We tend to think of it as something naughty or bad and certainly John has this assumption but Eros as a type of love is named explicitly to separate it from the other types. We are tipped off that Eurus is a Greek name. Well so is Eros. Eros is the erotic love (hence the root word), philia is friendship, agape is like a broader kind of love, a love for humanity, that Jesus kind of love. You can easily google this if you're interested.

Eurus=John erotic self. This is not a stretch. In T6T they made the phonetic leap from ammo to amo. This seems a bit of a reach honestly since these are two common words. To me it's like bowl and bowel. Perhaps I have this impression since I live in a city that has a high population of Spanish speakers. I would also think it is somewhat common knowledge for English speakers. This is just an assumption of course. The phonetic link between Eurus and Eros is less of a stretch since the pronunciation of Eurus sounds almost the same as Eros to many of us. The actors routinely pronounced it differently since that round gutteral Euuurr sound is a bit difficult. I can't say it without mimicking her voice. 

Going forward with the idea that Eurus is John's erotic self, it's interesting to note that Eurus looks a lot like Sherlock compared to her other disguises. She has a wonderful mass of black curly hair that starkly contrasts her vibrant blue eyes. This is interesting since John has only seen her with reddish hair as the girl on the bus, light brown hair as the therapist, and coming from Sherlock's report, blonde hair when she was pretending to be Faith. 

In the initial scene at 221B, I noticed the painting of a man that is directly behind John in the living room is dark. Now, I'm sorta new to tjlc so I'm not sure if you guys decoded this already. I always thought it looked like John or a young William Shatner (The Kirk/Spock thing again?). We don't get a good look at it but it's a white man with blondish short hair. From my recollection, it's always lit. Curiously, it's dark in TFP. Perhaps, this represents John in some way. It's dark suggesting that's he's unconscious. I could be reading into it though. You all tend to be better with the sets. 

Under the assumption that Sherrinford=sherlock, one may assume that Sherrinford is a code word for Sherlock that Mycroft uses and not an actual place. And is it just me or the goddamn place looks like a penis? Anyhow, Eurus is kept secure deep in Sherrinford. Deep, deep down there is that erotic love (Eurus) at the center of John's image of Sherlock. At least, that's how I read it. Perhaps I am off.

 The next scene is in the plane. There is an empty baby seat in the aisle. The little girl looks at it briefly. I of course, think this is baby Rosie in some way. It's interesting that it's empty. I'm not sure what this symbolizes yet. Perhaps it's saying the babe ain't real or perhaps it represents the betrayal of Mary or the emptiness of John's life as a father married to Mary.

 Another interesting thing that I noticed is that throughout the episode all the deductions are freaking absurd. They sound more like the jokes that people throw at Sherlock, like did you know what college I went to by the coffee stain on my shirt? That kind of stupidity. I think that's another clue that we are in John's mind because John's isn't really able to follow Sherlock's deductions. They seem to make sense but not really. They are terribly far fetched.

 Now, you can totally disagree with me on this next point. But I believe the violin playing=sex. As soon as Sherlock plays his own song, Eurus interprets it instantly as sex even though the song sounds absolutely nothing like sex. It's rather somber. But we should recognize it as Irene's theme. John in TLD mocked Sherlock asking him if they had random sexual rendezvous. He's suspicious and massively jealous that Sherlock has had sex with Irene.

Eurus says something so interesting in this scene. She says something along the line that "The man who sees through everything, doesn't see it." In the dream world it's the glass. This of course, is laughable to us as the audience but just for second, think what it means symbolically. She keeps directing him to it, but he can't see it. Sherlock's super observant but for some reason he can't tell that John wants him, can't tell that the glass isn't really there. Oddly enough, the company is elephant glass. John is aware that he desires Sherlock and can't believe that Sherlock who can read other people so easily can't see this.

This little exchange between them is fascinating to me because there is an element of philosophy here that isn't totally ridiculous like the stuff we've heard from her before. My personal favorite is the whole shitey lot is "happiness is a pop song, sadness is poem." Like ok, what next level emo shit is that? The dialogue that I find interesting is when Sherlock mentions that her playing is beautiful. She says she doesn't know if it's beautiful, only that it's right. Sherlock then replies that they are often the same thing. Eurus immediately answers then what's the point of beauty? So to Sherlock, all things beautiful are right. However, Eurus doesn't believe that they are the same thing. Some things are beautiful and wrong. Now, John recognizes the beauty in Sherlock (this sounds corny but it is after all, a necessity to romance) but at this point John thinks his desire for Sherlock is wrong. It isn't right. He's beautiful but it isn't morally right.

Much has been said about the awful rape lines and I agree with what has been posited by other bloggers that John is further demonizing his sexuality since John is likely bisexual. 

Simultaneously, John, Mycroft, and the governor are sitting in the dude's office talking about Eurus' mind control. I think besides the obvious genre level stupidity that we see in many Hollywood films, I think for the meta, it is saying that giving Eurus your attention will compromise you, meaning giving attention to your dark sexual thoughts compromises oneself, and subsequently makes one dangerous and out of control. It's not uncommon for people to link sexual desire with the inability to control oneself. I think this further demonizes John's desire. The only practical solution is to ignore it altogether. They really don't have the option though since Eurus won't be ignored any longer.

Going back to the convo between Sherlock and his sister, John further demonizes his sexuality, turning something beautiful into something horrible. Eurus mentions Sherlock's laugh. She says it's her favorite thing. John must love the sound of Sherlock's laughter. She talks about making him laugh all night and it makes you wonder if Sherlock and John stayed up all night laughing and John all the while was extremely sexually aroused by him. This seems almost like it would be a tender moment between Eurus and Sherlock but Eurus (/John) immediately switches this to screaming. John thinks his desire would harm Sherlock in some way.

But it doesn't really matter because again, Eurus is taking over the prison and John is losing his ability to control his desire although he fights it. When Eurus finally attacks Sherlock she screams for everyone to come in and stop her from killing Sherlock. John is evidently fighting with himself.

Finally Moriarty (the manifestation of all evil gayness) shows up. What's interesting is the Queen song. People have already talked about the song's themes and what it says about coming out and embracing your sexuality. But Moriarty, the evil gay takes out the earbuds right before the word 'love.' John is still unable to see that these desires can be connected to love. His homosexual desire can in no way be connected to love. This is why all the villains in the episode are queer coded because John villain codes all queerness. One thing that strikes me is how Sherlock is interestingly less flamboyant in this episode. Like this is the same guy who used the phase "alarming shade of pink" and z-snapped as he screamed to some rando at the bar that he knew ash.  

But anyway! Back to TFP. In the flashback, the glass is clearly there when Moriarty meets Eurus. Her reflection can easily be seen. I wonder what the glass is supposed to symbolize. I wonder if it's some form of truth. The glass is not there when Eurus, John's erotic self is visited by Sherlock because there really is nothing separating them but it's present when Moriarty shows up. Moriarty and Eurus although supposedly want each other, they actually, in truth don't touch. This is perhaps a stretch. I'm just theorizing here. This just may have to do with the fact that Eurus doesn't think to take over the prison until Moriarty shows up. Not that that makes sense or anything. The surface plot of TFP makes little sense.

A random aside: Eurus mentions a so called brother of Moriarty and says he's as stationmaster. I wonder if in John's mind he is thinking of Culverton Smith.

The killing of the Governor's wife instance is really interesting because I honestly believe that it's about Mary. She is the wife after all. John curiously, is unable to kill the guy. I thought he would be able to honestly, since he is soldier and has killed people and really only a fool would think not executing the guy would not end up in the wife's death as well. But what's significant for John is he can't go against his moral code (this is brought up a couple times in the ep). He can't go against it even if it results in causalities such as the wife's death. You can certainly guess what option he'd make in those stupid hypothetical train games. 

Mary is brought up and the Gov asks what he would do to bring her back. John doesn't answer. What are we supposed to deduce about what really happened to Mary? I don't know if I'm looking at this too deeply but Mary's death and John's involvement is freaking fishy (that wasn't an aquarium pun btw). Also later on the 3 Garidebbs room, John shouts that his "priorities got a woman killed." Hmmm....

 Now to the Garrideb scene: There is red paint on the walls. I hope its paint and not blood. Mycroft mentions that it is still fresh. This reminds me of the text in T6T, "fresh paint to hide a smell."  There's a huge window with an ocean in the background. I think it's already been established that water is feeling. This isn't unique to the show. That's actually a rather old belief. That's why the water zodiac signs, Pisces, Cancer, and Scorpio are thought to be ruled by their emotions. The deductions Sherlock and Mycroft here again make no sense. At least to me they don't. They deduce that the guy had laser eye surgery because of his nice clothing. This is absurd. Again, John doesn't quite understand the route of Sherlock's thinking.  

 The Garrideb story is literally and figuratively dangling in front of the viewer under the clear assumption they would know the significance of this story to Doyle's canon and yet, they gloss over it. I think they were trying to rip the heart out of everything and make it just a cold, boring case with forced stakes.

Afterwards, John is furious and Sherlock turns to him and says "Don't let Eurus distract you. Soldiers today." The soldiers thing comes off super bro, no homo and I think in a way it's meant to. John was an actual soldier. Largely being a soldier is about "duty," selflessness, and suppression for the greater good-well, supposedly. If John thinks of his desire for Sherlock as selfish and bad, he would naturally repress it under the guise of being a soldier. If you remember at Sherlock's grave in TRF, one of the most heartbreaking and powerful things John does is straighten up and stand like a soldier. You could see him crumbling underneath this futile attempt at control.

They then enter the next room and discuss the little girl on the plane. They agree that they have to get the girl to crash or land in the sea. Again, the sea and water are symbols for emotion. Later we find out that the little girl is Eurus. Eurus is John. So, it is really John that has to land in the water. He has no other choice. The only thing is whether or not Sherlock will save him or doom him.  

Next to the infamous "I love you" scene. I sincerely believe the coffin is clearly John's. The headroom shouldn't be unnecessary so why does Sherlock cut off a couple of inches? Maybe I don't understand coffins. He deduces that it's Molly because she's unmarried, practical about death, and alone...Why can't this be Irene Adler? There is no real logic in the deduction to be Molly. Most of what he says from the coffin before Mycroft looks at the lid is downright dumb speculation honestly. He assumes that it's cheap and therefore the person is unloved. One can easily say their family was poor. But anyways, it's a dream and John believes that Sherlock pulls shit out of thin air. All that really matters is that Molly is a mirror for John. She's loved Sherlock forever or at least John thinks so. The first time he meets Sherlock, Molly comes in with coffee and Sherlock remarks cruelly that her lips are too small. John could tell that Molly liked Sherlock. Molly to me comes off super ooc. She's usually rather mousey but she's somewhat forward and aggressive in TFP. She has more traits of John than she normally has. I think what's important is that she's always loved him and John has always loved Sherlock. All the ASIP reminders as well as Sherlock running up the stairs at Lauristan Gardens in HLV's mind palace to get back to John the first time he left him suggests that the two were in love at first sight. (I would love to discuss this further but I feel that someone already wrote meta on this).

 However, like John, Molly needs Sherlock to say it first. People have already discussed this, John in addition, is super emotional in this scene. Of course, he cares for Molly but he just looks downright dejected especially after the confession.

 "Saved Molly Hooper?" This line rings awful and trite. But they are utilizing the themes of genre and all it's cliches. I think what this line is actually saying about John is that he is afraid of love, he thinks it will destroy him no matter how it happens, through his own death or through the heartbreak that Sherlock doesn't really love him, that even if Sherlock says it to him, it'd be forced and empty. He thinks he's meaningless to Sherlock the way Molly thought she was meaningless to Sherlock in TRF. Again, the discussion of John's lack of self-worth has been largely discussed.

 A random aside. Molly's message machine: Dead Center of Town? Is that a morgue joke? The timer is also really incorrect and suggestive of a dream. I may be wrong about this but that last 30 seconds felt super long.

 The next scene is where Sherlock has to shoot one of them. Mycroft's words are of course how John sees himself especially in relation to Sherlock who he practically worships. He thinks he's a "stupid little man, little scrap of ordinariness," and that Sherlock can easily "find another". Again people talked about this before in other posts.

 What's interesting and also infuriating about this scene is that John doesn't actually do anything. Throughout the episode he merely gets dragged along.  His inaction is glaring when Sherlock puts a gun to himself and John doesn't intervene. This is his dream and he can't control his subconscious. Again, he thinks Eurus (his desire) is an unstoppable threat to Sherlock.

 Also, I kinda like this scene despite John's silence because it shows how underneath all his annoyance with Mycroft, John thinks he is a good guy.

The music as well, sounds straight up like a Bond movie during this scene. I'm not familiar with Bond but it sounds like the stuff they have playing during the trailers.

After they all hilariously get darted, Sherlock wakes up in that room with the cut up pictures on the wall of Sherlock and Mycroft's child selves. Escaping from his confines, Sherlock literally breaks down the four walls. Others have stated that not only is this a call back to the queen music video but this is metaphorical to what the episode and the creators are doing, breaking  down the so called 4th wall and interacting with the audience.

Meanwhile, John is in a deep well, chained to the bottom submerged in water. Again water is feeling, water is love. John is chained to the bottom drowning in his love but Sherlock can't reach him. It's hidden in some place no one knows where, no one but Eurus. So the key to saving John from the well is Eurus, the key to saving John from drowning in his love for Sherlock is reconciling with John's erotic self. In less fancy terms, if John doesn't have sex with Sherlock he will figuratively drown in his overwhelming love for him. This show is so over the top dramatic in its romance that I am inclined to believe it is actually a 15 year old gay boy's modern angst filled Sherlock AU. But I'm all for it, it's so damned romantic I can hardly think about it before my mind explodes. This is also why the rope which is actually a chain btw saves him even though he was chained to the bottom of the well. Because the thing that John thought was oppressing him, the thing he thought was evil, his erotic desire is actually the thing that saves him. How fucking sexy is that?

Meanwhile, Sherlock confronts his crazy Charlie Manson sister. She threatens him to solve the final problem (Find redbeard through the song). Meanwhile the plane is shaking around the same time that the well is filing in with water. The scenes are shot back to back, connecting them, solidifying that the little girl is John. They are both crying for help.

Sherlock then realizes that Redbeard is actually Victor. We can tell by looking at the little kid that that kid is John. So, Redbeard=Victor=John. But Sherlock can't get to him until he reconciles with Eurus. Interestingly, Eurus compares herself to no one. She felt like she was no one. She was neglected, ignored. But in order to save John, Sherlock needs to connect to Eurus. It's the like most anti-no homo thing ever. There's no platonic blah blah. Connecting John's desire and John's love are essential for his survival. In fact, all of them are the same thing. They are all John. It is worth noting that everything is John but everything is about Sherlock.

Again, when we have the flashbacks of Victor, Eurus is talking about the deep water, how Sherlock always finds himself here. The deep water though, in my opinion is almost always John expressing his love for Sherlock.  We get a flashback of the pool and the Reichenbach falls. At the pool in the Great Game, John with a chest full of explosives attempts to sacrifice himself for Sherlock. Sherlock is startled by this and it's probably the first time that Sherlock knew that John cared for him. During The Abominable Bride, John shows up at the Reichenbach falls and saves Sherlock. Interestingly, the dark blue water from the aquarium bounces off Sherlock's face in the close up with the black back drop sequence suggesting perhaps that John protected Sherlock again at the aquarium. Maybe this has something to do with Mary again?

The song was addressed in an earlier post where someone impressively decoded it, realizing that the "I'm lost without your love" was added by Sherlock because just before you thought it couldn't get insanely more romantic, it had to go another mile. I still don't understand what the "seek my room." part is supposed to mean. Maybe it refers to something literal in the real world or perhaps it's sexually suggestive.  What's super important though is that Sherlock knows at this moment that the little girl in the plane is Eurus. This is essential to solving the final problem and saving John Watson. The little girl is the link between the different sides of John, the "friend" part of him, the Redbeard/Victor John and the "erotic" Eurus John. The girl is the both of them. The plane metaphor is where the literal falling in love thing comes in to play. John is falling in love and has been but he's so afraid of landing. He's so afraid of what it would do to him. He thinks it ends in death. He needs Sherlock to coax him through the landing. Cause yes, again it just gets even more fucking romantic.

 When Sherlock delivers the line "Open your eyes," it brought shivers down my spine. I bet money that is super prominent in the 4th episode.

He keeps saying, "this time get it right." It's referring to her killing Victor but it harkens again back to what is probably a bitch load of regrets John has, especially in marrying Mary and never acting on his feelings for Sherlock.

Then there is the Greg scene and the corny great guy, good guy thing that references ASIP. It just shows again what John thinks of Sherlock. This echoes again the "who you think I am is who I want to be" speech in TLD. Sherlock had always wanted to be the hero John thinks he is. In this scene, we see that John sincerely thinks that he already is this guy.

The whole "Emotional Context" thing is also important. Eurus kept bringing this up throughout the episode. John says to Sherlock in this scene that Sherlock gave her what she needed, emotional context and then says, "It is what it is." (The fkn johnlock line).  What John needed to realize what that the emotional context is central in accepting his erotic self. He needed to realize that his love for Sherlock is not impure just because he desires him. That in fact, a central part of that love is the desire. Consider as well that Sherrinford is surrounded by a huge ocean, a symbol of John's deep love for Sherlock.

The ending is weird as hell. There's a long violin duet between Sherlock and Eurus. I wonder what song they are playing. It sounds gothic as all hell. He plays a part, she repeats it, and then they play in concert together. Often people link love making to music. It sounds weird and gross since it's his sister but it's not really his sister.

Then there is the dreaded Mary speech. She is completely wrong about Sherlock and John. Someone said that Mary is heteronormativity and I agree. John thinks that he should be this straight guy who gets married and has babies, who occasionally gets to go on adventures with his bro. I'm not sure why they decided to end it this way. Maybe it's because the show is showing everything that it isn't, starting with the obvious genre switch, the ooc-ness, and the massive amount of plotholes. It appears like a shitty horror/action flick when in fact, it's actually a romance. All the characters are ooc but they really are presenting certain aspects of the characters (mostly different elements of john), and the plotholes are actually carefully laid out either to aid the genre switch or to add a physical image in the episode of feelings and thoughts (the chain for example).  Once you think it's symbolic and from John's Mind Bungalow, everything actually has it's place.

 Oh and the fucking dummy...what the hell, I feel like that's a symbol for me. After watching the episode over I can't believe I took it's seriously. It's actually so ridiculous that I'm shocked I took it at face value. I actually laughed a lot the second time around. That whole "Which one is pain" statement was so downright dumb and reminiscent of shitty teen horror flicks that I feel I should immediately have been alerted. But I was too invested in Johnlock that I just wanted them to kiss. I didn't want to think. I didn't care about the plot honestly.

On a final note, the Mary monologue also represents what history has done to Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson, kept them imprisoned in this little box, forcing them from realizing who they ACTUALLY are which of course, is gay lovers. ^_-

 If you come across this, please share with other interested meta writers who might have something to add or correct me on. Most of what I've written are musings. I still think I need to watch all 3 episodes in order again to flesh out my ideas but I thought some of y'all might be interested. 

#bbc sherlock #sherlock #john watson #johnlock #tjlc #eurus #euros holmes #the final problem #tfp #sherlock meta #the final problem meta

[acorpseontheground-blog]

hi let me answer 400 fucking questions

1. Name: Jace 2. Nickname(s): i dont have any 3. Birthday: June 1 4. That makes you (age): im almost 15 5. Where were you born (city): Vancouver 6. Location right now (planet ): in my house 7. Shoe size: uh like 8 womens 8. How many piercings?: two, almost pierced my septum 9. Tattoos?: no 10. When you wake up you're: tired and sad 11. When you're about to sleep you're: tired and sad 12. Zodiac sign: gemini 13. Chinese sign: monkey i think 14. Righty or Lefty: righty 15. Innie or Outie: innie 16. School: no Section Two: Looks 17. Nationality: im really white 18. Hair colour: like dirty blonde 20. Weight: idk like 140lbs 21. Height: 5′10 i think 22. Braces? no 23. Glasses? no Section Three: Private Life 24. Do you have a boy/girlfriend?: yeah 25. If so, who?: uh someone who was not interested in me at all for 7 months  26. If not, do you have a crush on someone?: i mean 27. Who has a crush on you?: i mean  28. Ever cheated on your bf/gf?: no that shit is disgusting dont talk to me if you do that  29. Who was your first kiss: someone that i no longer talk to. dont regret it being them though 30. Who was your last kiss: my bf  31. Are you a virgin?: uh  32. Ever had a threesome before?: no  33. NQ- Every been swarmed by ladybugs?: no whattheufkc 34. Have you ever been in love?: yes  35. Broken any hearts?: most likely  36. Got your heart broken?: well i broke up with someone idk if that counts as having my heart broken but i was devastated but i had to do it sooo idk   37. Ever liked a friend? yes ive only really liked 2 people and theyve been my friends because i cant trust people 38. What happened? they have liked me back at some point Section Four: Past Relationships 39. How many relationships have you been in?: two 40. How many were serious enough to count: two? 41. Who were those serious ones: first kiss, my bf 42. NQ- Who used to be your best friend: uhhhhh ig first kiss 43. What made them different: i really liked their personality and the way they presented/ i was head over heels for them for like idk 3 years 44. What happened: i wasnt mature enough to handle myself 45. Best boy/girlfriend: my fucking GIRLS taylor and claire 46. Worst boy/girlfriend: someone i recently cut off contact with  47. Ever been kissed: yes 48. Who do you want back: uhgdjgkjdfhgkjd goodbye 49. Who do you regret: no one, i think all experiences are good and if i regret someone i would hace never gotten those Experience Points 50. Why?: n/a Section Five: Favourites 51. Song: shit uhhhh like or like like by miniature tigers?? or falling for you by mxmtoom and peachy?? or cherub rock by the smashing pumpkins idk my taste is wack 52. Movie: as you are but i shared it with the person i recently cut off contact with so uh 53. Food: bro. pickles. i even drink the pickle juice when im done with the pickles. 54. Drink: orange crush man 55. Store: shopping stresses me out 56. Television show: uh black mirror? 57. Holiday: hallo fucking ween 58. Book: words on bathroom walls i think 59. Ice cream: cookie dough 60. Sweets: m&m’s 61. Crisps:  wjat 62. Type of music: i listen to a lot? i listen to electronic, indie, alternative, rock, those sad boy hour songs really whatever i have like three different playlists for my tastes 63. Artist: really into teen suicide rn 64. Word: uh 65. Time of day: 1 am outside watching the stars 66. Dressing: like. salad dressing or clothes 67. Alcoholic drink:  i dont drink anymore tryna stay away from that so i dont revert 68. Colour(s): i love blue 69. Piece of clothing: my fidlar hoodie that concert was wild i got punched in the head 70. Character: DELSIN ROWE  71. Smell: campfire 72. Shampoo: idk i use whatever is in the shower 73. Soap: i use whatever 74. Smiley:  idk 75. Board game: definitely monopoly i live out the fantasy of being rich 76. Sport: i dont care 77. Number: i still dont care 78. Quote: idk  79. Animal: still a wolf shut up meanies >::((((( 80. Actor: idc 82. Vegetable: broccoli ofc 83. Fruit: oranges  84. Place to be: on the hill 85. Thing in your room: my guitar and my ukulele my fuckibng babies dont touch them 86. Gum: uh 87. Shape: uh> 88. Country: uh? 89. Mall: i hate malls 90. Car: idc wow im boring 91. Boy's name: br idk  92. Girl's name: idk 93. Family member: my sister sh 94. Restaurant: pepper lunch is kind of the shit 95. Movie place: we literally only have one movie theatre 96. Person to go to the movies with: my friends 97. Noise: idk 98. Brand of shoe: vans theyre comfy 99. Brand of clothing: idk 100. Body part of a chicken: the gobble part the fuck is that called 101. Swear word: uh? fuck? 102. Month: october 103. Possession: ukulele and guitar again 104. Team: ? 105. Season: winter it’s cold and people can’t bully me for being pale 106. Radio station: who listens to the radio 107. Magazine: who reads magazines 108. Favourite grade: none they were all stressful 109. Least favourite grade: grade 1 110. Teacher: mme martin 111. Least favourite teacher: mme leclerc 112. Subject: band 113. Subject to talk about: music Section Six: Family 114. Who's your mum?: my mom 115. Who's your dad?: my dad 116. Any step-parents?: no 117. Any brothers?: yes 118. Any Sisters?: yes 120. Coolest: brother/sister 121. Loudest: my parents fuck 122. Best relative: uh 123. Worse relative: someone who hit on my sister 124. Do you get along with your parents? sometimes 125. With your siblings? yes 126. Does anyone understand you? lmao ugh no one understands me;((((( 127. Do you have any pets?:  yes 128. If so, what kind and name? dog, cat, rosie, thea 129. If not, what do you want as a pet?: i want a snake so bad Section Seven: School 131. Are you still in school? yes 132. Did you drop out?: yes 133. Your current GPA: idk what that is 134. Do you buy or bring lunch?: both, sometimes we cant afford anything so like i just dont eat 135. ABC's?: what 136. Favorite class: band 137. Play any sports at school?: no 138. Are you popular? HAHA no 139. Favourite memory: uh when i failed three classes i loved that :) 140. Most humiliating moment: idk 141. Most funniest moment: bro idk 142. Most scared moment: when i thought my school was gonna be shot up lmfao Section Eight: What do you think of when you hear 145. Chicken: bacawk 146. Dog: bark 147. Christina Aguilera: oUOouIA 148. Ricky Martin: who 149. 50 cent: bottle full of bub 150. Poop: uh 151. Beach: woosh 152. Desert: the sound of sand? 153. Water: woosh 154. Osama: oh  155. Love: the sound of when you are holding your breath and then you exhale because they left but you didnt realize you were holding your breath 156. Your little brother: i  157. Butt: what 158. Clowns: get that shit away 159. Wonder: wahtr 16o. Brown: brrpoqn 161. Banana: peeling noise 162. Sex: moaning?? 163. Parents: yelling 164. Homosexuals: what 165. God: nothing Section Nine: Do you believe in 166. God: idk not really 167. Heaven: idk 168. Devil: idk 169. Hell: idk 170: Boogy man: no 171. Closet Monsters: no but im always paranoid someone is in my closet 172. Fortune tellings: no 173. Magic:  idk 174. Love at first sight: idk 175. Ghosts: yes 176. Voo-doo dolls: no? 177. Reincarnation: maybe 178. Yourself: no Section Ten: Do you 179. Smoke: not cigs, i’ll vape but i dont have one of my own, and if you got weed and want me to smoke it with you sure 180. Do drugs: weed? 181. Drink alcohol: not anymore 182. Cuss: yeah 183. Sing in the shower: yeah 184. Like school: no 185. Want to get married: yeah 186. Type with all of your fingers: on the computer not really only my middle and index finger 187. Think you're attractive: not really 188. Drink and drive: no ive had some horrible experiences 189. Snore: i dont think so 190. Sleep walk: used to 191. Like watching sunrises and sunsets: yes omg  Section Eleven: Have you ever 192. Flashed someone: no 193. Gotten so drunk til you threw up everywhere: haha yeah 194. Told that person how you felt: yeah 195. Been arrested: n o 196. Gone to jail or juve: no 197. Skateboarded: yes im so fucking bad at it though 198. Skinny dipped: no 199. Rock climbed: yes 200. Killed someone: no 201. Watched porn: yes 202. Gone on a road trip: yes 203. Went out of the country: yes 204. Talked back to an adult: yes 205. Broken a law: yes 206. Got pulled over: no i cant drive 208: Cried to get out of trouble: no 209. Let a friend cry on your shoulder: yeah  210. Kissed a brother's or sister's friend: no 211. Kissed a friend's brother or sister: no 212. Dropped something on the floor and let someone eat it anyways: yeah 213. Moon someone: no 214. Shop-lifted: no 215. Worked at McDonald's: no 216. Eaten a dog: no 217. Give money to a homeless person: yeah 218. Glued your hand to yourself:  no 219. Kissed someone of the same sex: yeah 220. Had a one night stand: no 221. Smoked: not cigs 222. Done drugs: weed 223. Lose a friend because of your ex: i dont think so? 224. Slap someone for being stupid: lightly 225. Had cyber sex: no 226. Wish you were the opposite sex: at one point in my life i wanted to die because of it 227. Caught someone doing something: yeah 228. Played a game that removes clothing: no 229. Cried during a movie: yeah 230. Cried over someone: yeah 231. Wanted to hook up with a friend: no 232. Hooked up with someone you barely met: no 233. Ran away from home: yeah 234. Cheated on a test: yeah Section Twelve: Would you 235. Bungee jump: yes pls 236. Sky dive: yes 237. Swim with dolphins: yes 238. Steal a friend's bf or gf: no 239. Try to be the opposite sex: oh 240. Lie to the police: no 241. Run from the police: idk depends on the situation probably not 242. Lie to your parents:yeah 243. Backstab a friend for your own well being: no ew 244. Be an exotic dancer: no 245. NQ- Kill the president: dont have a president Section Thirteen: Are you 246. Shy: not shy 247. Loud: no 248. Nice: i think? im also kind of an asshole 249: Outgoing: not outgoing 250: Quiet: kind of 251. Mean: sometimes 252. Emotional: yeah? 253. Sensitive: no 254. Gay: no 255. Strong: uh idk 256. Weak: not physically 257. Caring: yes 258. Dangerous: no 259. Crazy: no 260. Spontaneous: no? 261. Funny: ive been told 262. Sweet: idk 263. Sharing: yeah 264. Responsible: yeah 265. Trustworthy: yeah 266. Open-minded: yeah 267. Creative: i guess 268. Cute: uh no 269. Slick: idk 270. Smart: no 271. Dumb: no 272. Evil: no 273. Ghetto: no 274. Classy:  no 275. Photogenic: sometimes 276. Dependable: yeah ive made some mistakes though 277. Greedy: no 278. Ugly: no? 279. Messy: kinda 280. Neat: kinda 281. Perverted: uh well im not asexual 282. Silly: what 283. A B****: sure 284. A Good Listener: yeah 285. A Fighter: yeah 286. A Party Animal: no 287. A Game Freak: i like games 288. A Computer Freak: no Section Fourteen: Future 289. Dream job: musician 290. Dream house: fuck idk 291. Husband/Wife: someone i love 292. Kids: like 2 293. Names: , 294. Pets: doberman pls 295. Car: idk 296. Age you would want to get married: like 30 297. Best Man/Bride's Maid: idk 298. Honeymoon: idk Section Fifteen: Your friends 299. Best friends: taylor, claire 300. Known the longest: taylor 301. Craziest: taylor 302. Loudest: claire 303. Shyest: taylor 304. Best hair: i love them all 305. Best eyes: taylor has like multicoloured eyes 306. Best body: bro no 307. Most Athletic: claire 308. Hot-Tempered: both 309. Most impatient: idk 310. Shortest: taylor 311. Tallest: claire 312. Skinniest: uh skinnier is taylor shes smaller in general 313. Best singer: idk neither of them sing 314. Funniest: both 315. Can always make you laugh: both 316. Wish you talked to more: i have like 3 friends so keira 317. Wish you saw more: keira 318. Who drives you insane after a while: claire 319. Who you can stay around forever and never get sick of: taylor 320. Ever lose a friend because you took it to the 'next level': no 321. Whose always been there when you need them: taylor and claire 322. Who is like your family: taylor and claire 323. How many friends do you have?: 4 324. How many are really close? 2 Section Sixteen: The last 325. Thing you ate: burger 326. Thing you drank: water 327. Thing you wore: im in shorts and a hoodie right now? 328. Thing you did:  dog walk 329. Place you went: dog park 330. Thing you got pierced or tattooed: my ears 331. Person you saw: my mom 332. Person you hugged: my mom  333. Person you kissed: my bf 334. NQ- Person you beat to a juicy pulp: idk but id like to beat some people to a juicy pulp 335. Person you talked to online: this bitch thunder that is annoying we dont talk anymore shut the fuck up bro 336. Person you talked to on the phone: my call log says my mom 337. Song you heard: beach walk by whitewoods 338. Show you saw: like concert? fidlar 339. Time you fought with your parents: idk like today 340. Time you fought with a friend: idk 341. Words you said: “yeah”  Section Seventeen: Now 343. What are you eating: burger 344. What are you drinking: water 345. What are you thinking: miss 346. What are you wearing: shorts and a hoodie 347. What are you doing: writing this 349. Hair: messy? im sick 350. Mood: gross 351. Listening to:  nothing 352. Talking to anyone: no 353. Watching anything: mr nightmare Section Eighteen: Yes or No 354. Are you a vegetarian: no 355. Are you a carnivore: no 356. Are you heterosexual: no 357. Do you like penguins: yes 358. Do you write poetry: sometimes? i dont share it 359. Do you see stupid people: yes 360. You + Me: uh 361. Do you like the Osbournes: never really watched it 362. Can you see flying pigs: egrhf 363. Do you sleep with stuffed animals on your bed: no 364. Are you from Afghanistan: no 365. Is Christina Aguilera ugly: no  366. Are you a zombie: no 367. Am i annoying you: yes 368. Do you bite your nails: yes 369. Can you cross your eyes: yes 370. Do you make your bed in the morning: no 371. Have you touched someone's private part: yes why would you word it like private part Section Nineteen: This or That 372. Winter or Summer: winter 373. Spring or Autumn: autumn im quirky hahahahahahha 374. Shakira or Britney: neither 375. MTV or VH1: neither 376. Black or White: mix of both is good 377. Yellow or Pink: pink 378. Football or Basketball: basketball 379. Mobile Phone or Pager: mobile phone 380. Pen or Pencil: pencil i feel safer 381. Cold or Hot: cold it’s easier to warm up than to cool down 382. Tattoos or Piercings: piercings but i want a small tattoo 383. Inside or Outside: uh both 384. Weed or Alcohol: weed 385. Coke or Pepsi: coke 386. Tape or Glue: tape 387. McDonald's or In-n-Out: mcdonalds Section Twenty: Opinions 388. What do you think about classical music: love it! 389. About boy bands: sure! 390. About suicide: i dont think people understand that someone who is suicidal, their perception is collapsed. even though they subconsciously know they have other options, they believe with every bit of them that is their one and only choice.  391. About people who try to force their opinions on you: choke  392. About teen pregnancy: make sure you can handle the child and have support. if not, get an abortion or put it up for adoption. seriously. only keep it if it’s something you want, not because you were being shamed. 393. Where do you think you'll be in 10 years: on hastings shooting up heroin idk  394. Who do you think you'll still be friends with in 5 years: taylor 395. About gay men: love yall Section Twenty-One: 396. Do you have a website: no 397. Current weather right now: uh cloudy 398. Current time:  8:15 pm 399. Any shout outs: no one follows me 400. Last thoughts: fuck,