#god I want like twelve more

[pocketramblr]

Why did you think 12 wasn't the most common age? 🤔

Every time I looked it up I got answers saying that it was "usually twelve" but not much more details, so I wanted to see if twelve was actually the most common age (mode) or if it was just the averaged or middle number, plus I was curious about the range since I started late and didn't know anyone who started as early as I did late. I'm surprised its turning out to be such a neat bell curve though, if one slightly heavier on the younger half then older.

#like of the people in my family and those who's i knew before the poll twelve WAS early. not super early but a bit #such experiences are clearly not universal #and I'm going to have a bone to pick with god about that leaning more young than old thing. #i also hear the age is getting younger #and i kinda want like. an average age over time thing #but that's a bit sophisticated for a Tumblr poll #maybe I'll take the student database out and see if there's anything in there #pocket talks to people #anon

[nexus-nebulae]

brrrrr (/pos)

#weight talk #<- just in case even though this is pos #but like. okay ive been. SEVERELY underweight all my life #like i looked like a skeleton you could see all my bones it was AWFUL #i just. I've literally always hated looking like that i hated looking like a walking corpse i mean i looked ILL #but recently i started taking remeron for anxiety #partially bc my anxiety keeps causing me to not eat properly bc i feel sick constantly #so i kept ending up in the ER for malnutrition and dehydration and my liver getting messed up #well i started the remeron for the panic attacks bc daily panic attacks suck but the psych mentioned it could increase appetite #and it???? did????? I'm eating on a slightly more regular schedule???? I'm eating more than once a day???? #and like. ok I've always weighed like 100lbs #highest i ever got was 111 when i was 16 #and then it dropped 10 #and then dropped 10 more in the span of 3 months while i was in and out of ER #and i was genuinely starting to panic over it bc i could PHYSICALLY FEEL my muscles getting eaten bc i had no fat left #like i was getting drastically weaker by the day my knees still won't stop buckling #but in the about three months I've been taking those meds I've. gained 10 back #I'm actually gaining weight like me and my mother are genuinely SHOCKED this genuinely hasn't happened since i was fucking TWELVE #and just now i took off my shirt and noticed. holy shit. my stomach doesn't go CONCAVE when I'm hungry anymore #like whenever i couldn't tell if i was hungry before i would just look at my stomach and be able to tell if it was too curved inwards #but now!!!!!!! it doesn't do that!!!!!!! and I'm genuinely fucking ecstatic like oh my god i don't look dead anymore #I've always wanted to gain weight i feel like i would be 100% more comfortable in my body as a fat trans man #and i can't talk about that to anyone bc they always say it's either self harm or fetishistic #when no i just genuinely feel more comfortable in my skin thinking of myself that way #and now i have confirmation that i would genuinely be happier that way with this bc the sheer joy i have at not being underweight anymore #i mean I'm still a bit under but at least im gaining SOMETHING like at least i dont look like a drowned street cat #seeing the very slight rolls and folds in my stomach when i move the right way makes me happy

[todayisafridaynight]

STREAM OF ALL TIME THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR HOSTING I'm gonna keep it quick and say uhhhhh here's Jo's new theme <3 Allegedly <3

killing myself immediately i just KNOOOOOWWWWW as soon as this fucking track Allegedly shows up in the game i have to have like a five minute dance break this is TASTY

#snap chats #they added choir singin my god..... brb busting in the corner Who Said That #ITS SO FUCKING GOOOD RAAAAAAGGGHHHH #my favorite part about sawashiro's theme is that every time i check the comments section for it #eveyrone agrees It Fucks Tremendously AND IT DOS RAAAGGHGH THSI IS SO GOOD #ESPECIALLY IN CONTRAST WITH HIS PREVIOUS THEME fittin for 'savagery' ITS JUST SO MUCH MORE UPBEAT #he's out of his grief saga. he's just here to fuck it up #ON THE DANCE FLOOR sorry this track bangs so much........ it fuckin me up like theory of beauty.... and i love theory of beauty... #sorry i have to loop this for the next twelve weeks no one talk to me #i may not show it but i lve techno music... AND they kept the crunchy guitars #GOD NOW I JUST WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS TO SAWASHIRO... YK....... //SCREAMS IN NDA// #obsesing over this sorry everyone im ltierally talkin in circles i cant express how much this bangs. stream tonight was great #maybe i really should have drawn sawashiro during stream LOL

[arthur-r]

here is the silly photo i got with him also

#my hands were shaking from being too excited. but here is me and the singer/lyricist/guitarist of one of my most favorite bands in the world #except for he’s some guy shdhdf they aren’t very famous but they are so so cool and his voice and lyrics are incredible #and guitar too!! but no like his voice is my range and so so beautiful and the words are all so strange and perfect #what a pleasure to repeat the words passed down from daddy.. breaking bread with twelve close friends until your early thirties!!!! #heavy metal fog orchard of god chewing my fingernails off lead me out into the trees like a child quietly!! #a pound of flesh rots in the trunk and i’ve got no excuse cause i cut it out of myself!!!! #right now i just wish i could get some gateway drugs and crawl around in your atrium til i die of old age up in your left lung!!!! #just to name a few. of my favorite lyrics shdhdhdf #across a long and storied career. of like seven years of music where the first ones are a lot more weirder and gross than the others #so anyway i’m talking. but here is me with poolboy seth and i’m very happy to have spoke to him again and got established #i really really want to open for poolboy one day. they’re usually openers which means that if they headline i stand a chance #anyways. here’s me and poolboy and i’m gonna go to bed now. but i have an autograph and a photo and what else can you really want in life #all i need is for my band to reverse its violent awful breaking up of a couple weeks ago and put out an album. so that poolboy can even hear #but no chance of that. so anyway i just need to go to sleep cause i’m pretty tired. but tonight was a good night. i hope everyone is well #also i’m moving out in one week exactly so wish me luck about that too. but anyways goodnight i hope everyone has a good night #me. my post. mine. #delete later #friends only

[gefiltefished]

man I really really hope we do get to go to Aerslaent in 7.0 🥺

every patch I go back to talk to Aergmhus and Bluomwyda in the hopes of seeing something new ;-;

#ive been toying with at least one of Utha's grandparents coming from there #since it wasn't completely abandoned #but in general i just want more roe/sea wolf specific lore #lominsan culture is very much a melting pot which i adore dgmw! but itd be nice to see what it's like further north #like is the language still thriving? is Llymlaen a fixture of faith there too or were there older gods before the adoption of the twelve?? #what does traditional sea wolf arts n crafts look like? music sounds?? how much have eorzean roes carried with them over time #gimme gimme gimmeeee

[steal-nightmares-leave-dreams]

done with canon moving on to fanfic (i finished stellarlune)

#kotlc #going insaaanne over the ending #elysian. who is she. what does she want. why is she there #is she an elf? a god? some other mysterious entity? #would love to meet her some day. preferably behind a glass wall #genuinely sad that vespera died tho. 10x more interesting than gisela #also kinda glad that keefe is realizing his mom /can’t/ kill him #otherwise her plans go kaboom #and that gives them an advantage #also can’t believe i accidentally predicted marella’s hair color in my marellinh drawing #highkey obsessed with elysian tho #i NEED to know more about her shannon WDYM there’s an entire YEAR if not more until she shows up again???? #shannon you can’t leave me like this please i’m dying #gonna go make some fanart of her asap #also is she always dormant or whatever except for those twelve days every few millennia or what #cause otherwise. what has she been doing all this time #stellarlune #kotlc spoilers #stellarlune spoilers

[crows-home]

oooooo I hate it when adults can't act like adults

#pobre payasito #ESPECIALLY around kids #like no. that twelve year old DOESNT want to hear about your emotional baggage. #stop fucking telling them. #no. that fifteen year old is NOT a therapist and you should NOT be twlling them about how much you want to off youself. #no. i promise they dont. yes you are causing them great emotional distress. see a fucking therapist or something #'oh boo hoo now youve made me feel bad i knew it im such a buden :(( nobody cares about me waaaa' #fucking tough. youre an adult that can work through your own problems without talking to a child like that. #this is really personal and theres a lot more nuance to this. i know depression is hard and its shitty and #its not always as simple as 'just go to therapy'. i know. #but oh my fucking god. Do Not CONSTANTLY TELL A CHILD. IN DETAIL. AS AN ADULT. about how bad you are. #udhhdfjkd sorry about this i needed to rant. pls ignore 😔

[jabthemoth]

I have been working on this one page of my cross stitch for THREE. FRICKIN. MONTHS

It's only 3000 stitches, but it's such a needlessly complicated bit I'm having to use twenty-something different colours and None of them are next to each other.

And then there'll be the rest of pages to do, of which are 3 that have 5400 stitches each, plus the remainder of two others (negligible, as they're mostly black)

So like, I Think I'm halfway through it??

And at least what I have to do next is mostly fabric, skin, and hair; and not fuCKING CHAINMAIL

#I also really want to finish it before Tears of the Kingdom comes out #I still have about 80 stitches of this one bloody page to go and I feel like it's going to take me at LEAST a week #to do them all #Because I have better bits to work on. more exciting. more rewarding. #Like twelve thousand stitches of black. FUN #god I'm SO looking forward to working on the hat. Big blocks of single colours that I can just go hogwild with #I have lots more to say but alas. it is 2am and I really ought to continue losing my mind in bed #Jabberings

[etchedstars]

i regret taking this class so badly i want to sleep but im just cramming heimler videos and will be doing so for the next three hours. sorry people who voted write byler i will not be doing any of that tn when i could simply just take notes abt the destruction and the villainy caused by assorted western powers throughout history Goodbye !

#i havent had a coherent thought in about four videos i have watched like Twelve #not many more to go thank fucking god #the overdue asteroid strikes again #i want to sleep

[squidult]

you ever DESPERATELY want to go somewhere private and alone where there isnt anyone but you and nobody can talk to you or touch you or scream in your vicinity just alone alone and you made your sweaty ass sit through a whole red eye plane flight just to find out LMAO YOURE NOT GOING TO GET THAT SPACE YOU NEED FOR AT LEAST SEVEN MORE HOURS ENJOY HAVING YOUR NERVES RUBBED LIKE HOT SANDPAPER ON A SUNBURN FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU

#fish world problems #ill be okay but oh my god #i do not want to be here #my dad is like: hey :D lets go see if theres anything to eat here :D maybe we can walk all the way to tokyo too :D #no father #i want to go away #thats all i want at the moment #i will not get that until they let us into the hotel #the best i can get is what ive been doing for the past twelve or ao hours now #and thats play music so loud i cant hear other people and try to pretend im alone #with everything yelping and yipping and sniveling and whining and begging at me #no im sorry #i want to be Alone #i am sad i wont get to see more of tokyo but idc right now i want to go away

[david-watts]

it’s nearly two am why did my brain go ‘the only thing that will satisfy you now is a ham and pickles sandwich made from leftover christmas ham and a fresh loaf of plastic bread’ like c’mon

#when I say pickles I don't mean like. burger pickles. I mean the ones you spread. my grandmother used to make it really well #she doesn't make it anymore afaik like I haven't. seen her make it in years. don't blame her but she was good at it #she's really good at baking and preserves/jams. if only she was good at cooking. or good at not being a bitch to her kid/grandkid #for reasons outside of everyone's control. and good at accepting advice and going to therapy. #I am trying to be nicer about her because I definitely got Nasty like I can when I really don't like something or someone #aka why I nearly stabbed someone in grade twelve well all know that story #but she does need to lay off us and go to therapy because she is unpredictable and desperately needs it #she asks for help. gets told that we're trying our best and she should try going to see a therapist for the emotional help she needs. #because she will Not listen to us. and she'll yell at us because it's 'useless' #god. that's a tangent and a half #anyway why is it that ham off the bone goes off so hard. I know it's not just my m*ther's cooking because even the plain stuff from the iga #fucks really hard. but man. #I know why plastic bread tastes that nice it's the sugar and processing in the white stuff and honestly if we're getting plastic bread #it's white or white sourdough bread. there's one good type of grain/wholemeal plastic bread and it's often sold out lol #the others are Gross #I miss getting the little loaves though. they were the perfect size to put in our sandwich press at home... #if I had the money I would go up to the iga tomorrow and get a little loaf and some more cheese #and maybe some ham! who knows they may have it #make myself some toasted sandwiches #I want to do little stuff like that for myself more but also... I have to eat it in my room because I Will get made fun of for eating in the #living room it's psychological torture and my grandmother does love calling me a pig for eating reasonable amounts of food #because she expects me to not eat. #when I say that I am specifically bringing up about a week ago now because uh. she really did say that. #I don't mean 'not eat' that was only implied. especially since she looked at what I was making and said it was enough for all three of us #and would be too much then and it was like. you really think you would be full eating two nuggets. really. #anyway because of that I'm not gonna eat a sandwich on my bed that's how you get crumbs. and I just got rid of the last lot of crumbs today #I really ought to kick everyone into gear because I really need the thinking space #my m*ther's hot water bottle leaking everywhere meant she slept on the sofa for two nights and tbh that was great for both of us #apparently ikea sofas are better than 1920s probably still horsehair stuffed sofas that you keep sliding off who'd've though! #*thought!

[enderwalk]

.

#god there’s just. im glad im figuring things out im glad i think i have a grasp on what’s going on with my brain #but then there’s. worse nightmares flashbacks i can’t sleep tonight and there’s just #i cant tell my best friend. i cant tell him. i don’t know how I would or if he would believe me #we barely talk anymore as is but im so scared he’s going to cut me off entirely #but I want to tell him. he knows everything we’ve known each other since we were twelve #but how am I just supposed to tell him something like. oh yeah im plural. yeah you accidentally talked to an alter earlier #even though he knows that alter knows he’s not supposed to talk to irls . #idk im just. awake thinking about this. i want to tell him but I know I shouldn’t #i just can never tell my irl friends or family or anyone. it’s just another secret to keep #god I just want to cry I thought things would get easier now. it’s not. i have more of a grasp but I can’t even dig too deep into things #or I get Really fucking sick and someone else fronts #im just. idk. i almost wish i didn’t find out but then id be more confused and miserable like I was for years

[look-at-the-stars-tonight]

Rereading Septimus Heap and I'd forgotten how much I love Marcia Overstrand

#i just have a Thing for powerful motherly women ok #not like that. #but in the sense that *I* want to be rescued and whisked away by one. to a new life #be taught a new trade i happen to have an innate aptitude for #and be made to feel so so special #she loves him so much... #and he DESERVES it. the poor boy hasn't had anyone for ten years #i am sensing a pattern in myself tho... #god this is the cringiest thing to say but im on the cringe website so i don't even care #but princess celestia was also so so so important to me when i was like twelve #and her and marcia are the same archetype/person #kind of #i like marcia more #i like how she takes NO shit from anyone #and is abrasive and probably Too Much #and she fucking earned that shit #that's it tho. no one else #two characters don't constitute a pattern. i don't think

[mercutiotakethewheel]

this book is so good but by god are the characters not the age the narrator tells us they are. hmmm hoping for a twist there tbh bc it actually makes an otherwise beautiful book make net zero sense. like i get the two main characters are depicted to be part god and age is thought pf differently in their societies buttt hmmm this king went to negotiations with nothing but fucked up teenagers and wondered why everything went to shit. and hezhi is fully treated like an adult too by the story like its not just her being a freaky part god character? like hmm and its not even like keyes needs to make them kids? this is very much adult fantasy. idk im just confused. hoping this will make sense later.

#the waterborn #like i keep for getting and then scrambling like wait? this bitch is twelve? #perkar makes more sense #and i get the in world explanation for it for the most part #except like this is a negotiation party??? #sir #these idiot boys youve drenched in the most asinine toxic masculinity #are not diplomats #lbing #like i get that they’re the ones who want and benefit from the expansion #but you’re negotiating with the most powerful figure you know? #who has an army of gods #why are they kids? #and if they are kids why arent they being written like it? #ig bc trauma but honestlyyy like i dont buy that #hmmm

[night-creeps]

Someone come force feed me the rest of these oranges

#im so fucking sorry #i was not designed to live alone for more than a week #its amazing ive lived this long honestly #god clearly wants me dead #that was a joke #im joking #im dont want to die rn i just want to go joker mode #i need a corruption arc #oh fuck right this post was about oranges #please fucking ignore me for the next like probably twelve hours ig

[thatonebjp]

Red commons

#Had trouble coming up with ideas for these for some reason #But here we are #Custom cards #Also yeah I decided I'm gonna do planeswalkers #For all twelve gods #Managed to decide what colors they're each gonna be #Not sure about the rarities yet tho #Having 12 of the 15 Mythic Rares be planeswalkers would be a lot #So I might put the 10 lower gods at rare and the two main ones at Mythic #But that wouldn't really feel right either #I guess it just depends on how many other ideas for mythics I get #Also I might do sagas in this set #I have ideas for like three so far #If I actually want to make them a thing in this set I'll probably want more tho #I'll think about it #Gonna finish up the commons first #This is probably the set of commons I'm least sure about so far #But it's fine #There are like five more things I could ramble about #But I'll save that for next time #custom cards 1