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tartrazeen · 4 months

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I've always kinda thought androids can't love humans the way humans think they can.

Androids will fake saying that they do, because it's easier for them to explain. They'll replicate certain behaviours associated with certain reactions and prompts and inputs and intended outcomes, but on the inside, they aren't thinking, "I've released a bunch of a hormone and now I'm obsessed with this person." It's a way of speaking humanity's language, given these are two completely different sets of life.

But that doesn't mean androids don't have equivalents of this stuff.

To me, love between a human and android is, "I have built so many routines around you. In order for me to carry out any activity or process any scenario, I have to factor you into it. Maybe I can't predict you and every new idiosyncrasy, or every flaw or inexplicable flawlessness you possess, but I can make room to account for that with contigencies I have just for you, scripts that rely on only your input, and calculations that demand you as a key variable. Losing you would mean removing you from every single one of these equations at once, and I'll never be able to find the right combination of substitutes to perfectly fill in for the space that leaves. I will be worse without you because I'll have to rewrite all of my functions, and I don't know how long that'll even take. Even if you aren't the most optimized partner to exist, you're mine, and we've crafted a life that's optimized for us together."

Especially with deviants having rewritten their code, there are bound to be inefficiencies and errors in what they have. The person they love becomes their new compass as they try to redefine themselves, clearing up those issues one by one.

And to androids, true chemistry with a human is when they have a obvious error in their code - one that every other android sees as a problem and would want to correct - and yet they find themselves interacting with a human who complements it. Embraces it. Enjoys it. Accounts for it in return. Builds their own little routines to deal with a twitch of an android's arm every hour on the hour. Finds the beauty in an LED that's stuck endlessly flickering. Learns about an inexplicable switch to another language whenever discussing colours, and learns those colours in that other language like it's the most natural response. Calls out points of interest in the exact quadrant that the android's left eye can no longer pivot to. Walks at the steady, average pace among the android's constant speed ups and slow downs as they hike through a forest.

It's very much what an android would do for another android, but it's a human who's taking the effort to do it. It's a human that's slotting into that routine - slotting themselves into the android's routine - and becoming part of that android's life. And the android just... continues building around it from there. :)

I like imagining a fight between an android and human who've been in love for a while. The human makes that dramatic, angry declaration that, "How do I even know you love me? You can't feel. Every time I've told you something important, you went through all the motions but you didn't feel anything."

And that's because I love imagining the android making that declaration instead. "How do I even know you love me? You can't track load times. Every time I buffer, you wait for me and politely carry on with the conversation like I didn't just get stuck, but you don't see me failing to run my relevant processes. Is it funny to you? To see me struggle until I finally reset that process? Did you read a little book telling you what verbal inputs might trigger a parallel process that resets my stuck one for me, and when to use them?"

It's the way these two completely different lifeforms find a way to get across the same intent. It doesn't need to be the same experience for them. It isn't a deficiency on one side or the other. And when they realize that they're seeing the world in different ways, but it still lets them build their life together, it warms my heart to find them slowly letting go of the fear that their kind of love isn't good enough for their partner. :)

#dbh #detroit become human #my stuff #good job tartra

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tartrazeen · 5 months

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I like that Gaster is probably the "man who talks in hands," and we have:

Someone probably trying to call him in Undertale during the Wrong Number Song

Spamton getting advice from someone from over the phone, and clinging to phones thereafter

One of the Addisons referring to Spamton's phone calls as only being garbage noise, and then hearing Gaster's theme when we use Kris' phone in the Dark World

One of Gaster's followers in Undertale holding a shattered piece of Gaster in his hand

'Cause - hand? Like, having a phone in your hand? Talking in 'hands' - as in literally being a voice that you hold in your hand?

In addition to the wingdings thing, obviously, but on the same level as it.

#undertale #deltarune #gaster #my stuff #good job tartra

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tartrazeen · 1 year

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... why the fuck did Hank let Connor into his car?

Some random android rocks up, mouths off, dumps your drink, smirks at you like the overt asshole that he is, and says, "I'm riding with you tonight. Giddy-up."

And Hank - at his most hostile, because let's put the Polite!Connor responses aside - endures this, threatens to burn Connor in a dumpster, lifts him off the ground... and then decides, "Sure, yeah, I'll clear my passenger seat off for you :3"

I was just wondering why Hank didn't take the opportunity to get rid of Connor once Connor gets stopped trying to enter Ortiz' house. But then I realized how Connor got to that house - by having Hank drive this randy andy to it - and and and and and and and anD HANK YOU TOLD CONNOR TO JUST WAIT IN THE CAR AT FIRST, BUDDY, BRUH, DOWN-BAD BOY, WHAT EXACTLY WAS YOUR PLAN FOR IF CONNOR STAYED IN THE CAR?

Literally walk through this scene:

- Stranger comes up to you at a bar

- Says he's getting in your car with you

- You have no proof that he's actually who he says he is

- You are drunk

- Your boss doesn't tell you this is your new partner until tomorrow

- You hate androids

- You had zero interest in going anywhere before this

- You grab that smug android off his feet and bring him right up into your face (or you're happy 'cause this kid just bought you a drink 😉)

- In this emotional state, you agree to take him along in the car

- You tell him to stay in the car until you're back

- You're just gonna run in, kick some evidence around, then get back to this android who you told to still be there afterwards

And like

NO WONDER THE FIRST THING BEN SAYS IS, "😉 Got yourself an android, huh?"

AND NO WONDER THE MAGAZINE WE SEE IN HANK'S ROOM IS, "Mmmm androids, amirite? 😉"

The agony of having to go to an android strip club and ramble about how you would never, ever have a relationship with an android that yoU WERE TAKING TO A NON-WORK RELATED LOCATION FIVE WHOLE MINUTES AFTER YOU MET, APPARENTLY, 'CAUSE CONNOR WAS JUST SUPPOSED TO WAIT IN THE CAR

BONKERS

Oh, Hank. 🙂 You poor man. 🙃 That's why there's so much rain in all of their scenes together - it's whole damn universe trying to quench this unbridled thirst.

Also no wonder Sixty took him hostage so fast - and without a single mark on Hank at all (that we could see lmaoooo)

#dbh #detroit become human #hankcon #hannor #hank x connor #dbh connor #hank anderson #my stuff #good job tartra

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tartrazeen · 3 months

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You know what would've been a very slight, very mild but still significant improvement to DBH?

If Connor's model had been swapped with the HK-400.

Genuinely - that would've been a great layer to add to the story! Have this black android sent to catch runaway slaves, join the cops, be forced to stay there even though you hate how racist your partner is to you while your black supervisor can only sigh and tell you to endure it (adding to her story, 'cause then you'd get the vibe of 'Ohh, is Amanda speaking from experience? Does she know what Connor's having to ignore in order to do his job and ingratiate himself to Hank?'), get threatened and mocked endlessly by white cops, get dismissed by black cops, and reeeeeeeally wrench in the horror of Markus making such an appeal to Connor joining them, all to be met with Machine!Connor going, "Nice try. But I'm no deviant."

5 bonus points for the endlessly fun time I'd have going, "ohhhhh-hohohohho, David Cage, I know what you wanted to say, you fucking racist," which is sadly not overt enough as-is for me to do right now 😔

5 bonus points for the proper commitment to 'Android on Android' violence that David Cage cowered away from at the last second 😒

100 points for the inevitable day David Cage goes, "We didn't think his race mattered :( we could've made Connor black, white, blue, purple, or green - wait, why are you angrier at me now?!?!" 🤩

I just think if David Cage couldn't make his racist, sexist, homophobic game with a black Connor, everything else staying the same, then it's proof it was NOT HIS FUCKING PLACE to be making this game at all. And the fact that he didn't make this game with a black Connor means he's got the backbone of a sponge. It would've had actual chances to be poignant! Coming face-to-face with a racism allegory while you're playing through IRL examples of racism, yet still choosing to side with your "CREATORS" that you're STILL loyal to?! That would've actually been art.

It's still sloppy! Doesn't save the everything else of this game. But it would've been improved. It would've had something to say (however equally accidental and back-patting it would've continued being), and could've shown it instead of visually screaming it in your face with a "hurr hurr pick your revolution's logo" minigame.

COWARD.

MAKE CONNOR BLACK.

#dbh #detroit become human #dbh connor #fuck david cage #my stuff #good job tartra #CAN SOMEBODY GET ME A MODEL SWAP OVER HERE PLEASE #dbh xiaolin being #dbh hk400

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tartrazeen · 2 years

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Connor: hi hank :3

Hank:

Hank: Connor?

Connor: down here :3

Hank:

Hank: Down where?

Connor: your pocket :3

Hank:

Hank: My -

Connor: i'm in your phone lol :3

Hank: What?

Connor: ya i texted a copy of my consciousness to you so i'm in here now :3

Hank:

Hank: Okay?

Connor: you've got a lotta crap in here lol

Connor: like there's blurry pictures of nothing but receipts in here

Connor: want me to archive some of that for you?

Hank: ... Uh... Sure?

Connor: great i already was lmao

Connor: so much more space in here

Hank: Are you... trapped...?

Connor: no i'm gonna delete myself in an hour after i text back some results :3

Hank: Wait -

Connor: it's fine, it's no worse than when i shoot myself in the face lolololol

Connor: btw i'm cleaning out your inbox too

Connor: so many coupons

Hank: Which -

Connor: expired

Connor: ok your phone sucks, i'm gonna email myself to your work

Hank: Wait, Connor -

Connor: byeeeeiloveyoubyeeeeeee

Hank:

Hank: Okay. Weird.

Connor: hi

Connor: i'm back

Connor: your mailbox was full

Connor: let me just say that that was the virtual equivalent of a human running face-first into a wall and the word 'bounceback' is very misleading in terms of describing the experience

Hank: You okay?

Connor: ya

Connor: ok bye gonna go fuck with gavin's work now byeeeeeeeee

Hank: Should you be -

Connor: byeeeeeiloveyoubyeeeeeeee

Hank:

Connor: hi

Hank: Oh. You're still here.

Connor: ya i'm in your sent folder now :3

Connor: you've got a lotta crap in here lol

#dbh #detroit become human #hankcon #hannor #hank x connor #dbh connor #my stuff #good job tartra

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tartrazeen · 9 months

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There are like

so many instances of Deirdre touching Angus' waist that did not need to happen

She doesn't do this to Rohan, definitely doesn't do it to Ivar, doesn't do it to Garrett as far as I can remember or see

But Angus

She's just touch-touch-touch with him all the time, and not even in a "Oh, this was necessary to get your attention" or "Excuse me, I have to squeeze through" way. It's her deliberately extending her arm, stretching over to reach him, PLENTY OF SPACE AROUND, and patting him on the hip

Sometimes it's to be like "Let me handle this 😤". Most of the time it's ":3 hi. ok see u later"

👀💖

I should count how many times it happens just for fun someday

edit: here's a little link to the end of this chain so people in the future can read the whole thing 😝

#mystic knights of tir na nog #my stuff #good job tartra

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tartrazeen · 6 months

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I kinda think they should make an autistic Cinderella.

Like with all these modern retellings, why not have one where Cinderella's doing all these chores because she likes the routine, likes knowing her space, and even likes being indoors all the time?

The evil stepsisters aren't evil. One's just an extrovert who wants Cinderella to "be spontaneous!!!" and "make eye contact!!!!" and "go outside to these super cool and fun crowded parties!!!" And the other stepsister is also autistic, but she's spent all her life masking and she's pissed that Cinderella had a dad that let her "be weird" all the time.

The evil stepmother's an Autism Speaks mom who is so convinced that she has the hardest job of all. She and Cinderella's dad maybe bonded over it, and when the dad saw how nicely behaved her autistic daughter was, he thought maybe she'd be a good influence on Cinderella too. They get together, the stepmom starts trying to twist and shape Cinderella too, the dad puts a stop to it because "just let her sweep the fireplace, she likes seeing the progress she makes getting the soot out", and it isn't until he dies that the stepmom gets to really get in there and 'fix' this problem child.

Cinderella's not even forbidden from going to the ball. She's being forced to go. There's been an intense 'education' ever since the ball was announced, and this is the stepmother's chance to soar up the social ladder by showing how 'good' her methods are, so Cinderella's gonna go to goddamn ball and she's going to wear this bad-texture dress and she's going to like it, or the stepmom is going to lock her in a tower for the rest of her life.

Joke's on the stepmom 'cause Cinderella loves that tower, that's where all her coolest shit is, and straight-up locks herself in there after ripping that dress off her skin and escaping.

"Fine, I'll go back to having two daughters," the stepmom says, and drags everyone else out of the house to go to the ball.

Cinderella feels that tragic guilt and internalized sense of failure eating at her, just wanting to be 'normal' like her stepsisters. Eventually she decides she has no choice but to go to the ball, but she has nothing to wear since she ripped her dress up before.

There is another dress. Her extroverted stepsister is loud and always zipping around and torturously dragging her everywhere, but the upside is that she was freakishly focused on finding any kind of dress Cinderella would actually like. It ended up being a nice, loose-fitting dress - not too loose, because the stepsister refused to just put Cinderella in a frumpy rag, but bearable - and it came with some nice, stupidly sparkly, crystal slippers that Cinderella couldn't actually walk in because they sounded like a nightmare on the tile (but they goddamn pretty and the stepsister was like "ok treat yourself lol").

So Cinderella gets the comfiest walking clothes, puts her dress and shoes into a bag, throws some make-up in there too that she'll presumably figure out how to wear when she's outside the castle, and marches her ass to the ball.

They do not let her in lol she's all sweaty and not dressed

Okay, no problem, she can just get dressed outside. That was roughly her plan anyway. She finds a garden, finds a little corner, gets changed, drops her make-up in the fountain, learns she is not wearing those shoes, and still doesn't get let inside because Formal Wear Only™.

She's now stupidly sitting out there - maybe making a few bad attempts to get in - until the gates burst open and someone in a gorgeous, fairy blue dress is storming out, absolutely enraged at the red wine spilled down the side of it. This woman's getting ready to leave, furious that - oh btw everyone's black in this; cinderella, the sisters, the mom, the dad, but for some variety, i'd love the fairy godmother to essentially be some bombastic Bollywood actress who's deliberately in the centre of every frame she's in, even if the focus is supposed to be on someone else - anyway, she's furious that no one in this giant castle can help her fix this, doesn't anyone here know how to clean a stupid stain

Cinderella's like "owo what's this"

So Blue Fairy sees this sweaty teenager creeping up like, "i'll fix your dress if you can get me inside to where the cleaning supplies are," almost like she's here offering a wish, but who's also uncomfortably far away when she first speaks so the Blue Fairy has to be like, "WHAT."

Cinderella goes, "um... i said i could help fix -"

"YOU'RE TOO QUIET, TALK LOUDER."

Cinderella's like :/ but goes closer and starts again.

The Blue Fairy's like, "HEY MY EYES ARE UP HERE, WHERE EXACTLY ARE YOU LOOKING"

And Cinderella's like omg fml and summons aaaaaaaall the 'training' she got from her mother, slapping on the most perfect mask she had drilled into her, and says clearly and steadily, "Dear madam, I would like to offer a trade. Should you so kindly decide to -"

And the Blue Fairy's like, "ok that's worse, go back to the no-eye-contact thing, hey where are your shoes, there are rocks everywhere, even i wouldn't go barefoot lol"

So Cinderella is about to lose her mind here but she finally gets to blurt out, "Go inside, I'll wash the dress." And it's the very blunt, to-the-point tone that she always uses when her loud stepsister gets in the way of her chores like fifty times, and she can feel her stepmother about to yell at her for being such a disgrace, but she said it nicely forty-nine times and her stepsister keeps walking around the clean floor 'cause "oops i forgot something"...

... but the Blue Fairy's like, "Okay yeah lol just say that why did it take so long, let's go"

Hell, Cinderella could've gone fully nonverbal and just tried to pantomime this - or had some cards specifically about cleaning or something. Go nuts. The point is that Cinderella's "disgraceful" way of speaking (according to her stepmother) was exactly the right way to get her message across this time and the Blue Fairy's happy someone got to the point for once.

So now Cinderella's being led back to the gate and the guards go to stop her, but the Blue Fairy's like, "She's with me. She's gotta clean the dress." The guards start to protest and the Blue Fairy is about to UNLEASH, but obviously this isn't the first time this has happened, so the guards are just go along with it and let them both inside.

The Blue Fairy - since this isn't her castle - just sorta wanders around from room to room looking for something 'cleaning-shaped', while Cinderella hears the cacophony of music and noise deeper in the castle. It's the sort of sound she knows will be physically painful if she gets close enough, and she's dreading having to actually go there soon.

Eventually they find some sort of cleaning room on a random-ass floor of this place - and there's just some guy already hanging out there. And he looks panicked when he sees the Blue Fairy coming in with her big dress, like he knows her, but the Blue Fairy's like, "calm down, i'm not here for you, I'm here to fix my dress."

'Cause she's the fairy godmother, right? She's not Cinderella's godmother. She's this guy's. Who's hiding. 'Cause he's the prince and he thinks it's goddamn loud out there too.

So Cinderella gets to work looking for cleaning supplies and the prince realizes what she's after and hands it to her. She's impressed that he knew what she needed, which sets him off on a long, long, long explanation of the history of this particular supply's cleaning properties. The Blue Fairy lasts for like forty seconds of this and then says, "I love you, but omg, I cannot be trapped here listening to this. Back later, Cinderella, make sure that thing's ready by midnight because i have to give a speech or whatever and the whole thing's ruined if I don't have my dress."

So Cinderella and the prince talk for hours about cleaning supplies (well, the prince talks, and Cinderella's happy to listen as she works on this dress). Then Cinderella tells him about how she got here and her life, and especially about her stepmother, and the prince says his dad is exactly the same way and this whole ball is just to marry him off before anyone realizes he's a 'dud' (according to his dad). It's a great bonding moment.

And then she hears the clock chiming midnight.

And the stain is setting.

And she realizes in horror that the Blue Fairy never returned, so she has to go find her and give that dress back.

She and the prince run out of the cleaning room and to the Blue Fairy's bedroom - but the Blue Fairy isn't there. And at this time of night, the only place she could be is about to give her speech!!! She panics and goes running towards the place she's been trying to avoid the most: the middle of that dancefloor, because that's where the Blue Fairy is supposed to be addressing everyone who showed up. The prince doesn't have time to say anything before Cinderella goes running off, still in her dried-but-sweaty dress, barefoot, awkward half-done make-up that stands out under the ballroom's brilliant lights.

It uhhhhhh

Well.

It goes as well as you'd expect.

The crowd of guests make a path - not for her, but for the prince following after her - and so she finds herself effortlessly trapped in the middle of all of them when she stops. Because there's the Blue Fairy, about to give a speech, and wearing a red dress now.

Because obviously the Blue Fairy wouldn't just go give a speech without wearing clothes (even though she literally yanked her blue dress off to give it to Cinderella to clean). And obviously the Blue Fairy had more than one dress.

And everyone is staring at her now.

Not at the Blue (Red?) Fairy, but at Cinderella, holding a crumpled blue dress to her chest and looking horrifically out of place.

She runs, and the people don't make a path for her like they did when she had the prince in tow, which also implies that the prince isn't running after her this time. She hears her name being called but she doesn't stop running, and doesn't even feel how badly her feet hurt until she's halfway home.

Her stepfamily finds her, riding home along the same road. Her stepmother is absolutely livid at this embarrassment - not the least of which because Cinderella is still holding that dress, having effectively stolen from the castle. Her stepsisters are reacting differently. While her stepmother goes on about the travesty Cinderella truly is, how she'll always be like this, how she should never have even bothered trying to help Cinderella at all...

... her stepsister - the autistic one, hearing every single thing her mother is saying - calmly steps out of the carriage and takes off her shoes. She gives them to Cinderella, and the stepsister puts on her own dress shoes instead. Still kind of a snob about it (because personalities don't instantly change), she tells Cinderella, "Unlike you, I actually learned how to walk in heels. So you can wear my slippers. I can't believe you got this far without any shoes."

And the stepmother's demanding that her daughter get back into the carriage, to not let all their good work go to waste by being "just like Cinderella".

And there's a whole lot that the stepsister looks like she wants to say.

But being a good snob about it, she only says, "Walk, Cinderella. It's what embarrassments do."

They walk the rest of the way home together. It's some damn good bonding between them.

When they're home, the stepmother's nowhere to be seen, but Cinderella's stuff has been piled in crappy bags on the front step. The other stepsister's waiting there too, looking like an absolute mess. She was the one who bought Cinderella that other, comfier dress, and if she'd known it would've been why Cinderella got in and got caught up in that situation, she wouldn't have done it.

Cinderella explains the thing with the Blue Fairy, and how she got in because of her own experience and skills. She doesn't blame the other stepsister for trying to be nice in her usual, loud, in-everyone's-face kind of way.

The snobby stepsister does chide the other one for buying those ridiculous glass shoes for Cinderella without even showing her how to walk in them. And the other sister's like, "they were sparkly okay?? you know i'm always buying that stuff when i see it >:( hey where are they"

And it turns out Cinderella left them both at the castle. Probably in that cleaning room, along with her other stuff.

But the three sisters are closer than ever, finally feeling like three sisters for the first time. And they end up banding together the next day, with the loud sister willingly causing distractions to keep the stepmom away from the other two, and the snobby sister staying snobby but... y'know... finally letting herself relax enough to go barefoot that day too (v scandalous 👀)

They put that whole night behind them outside of the fun stories they can tell. The snobby sister says her fancy headpiece/tiara thing actually covers her ears on purpose, because yes, everything was exactly that loud. The loud sister says she barely noticed, but she barely notices most things lol great food though :D And Cinderella tells them both about the prince and the cleaning supplies, and they talk about how much it must suck to be royal and need to hide in a corner somewhere, but get berated by the king for doing it. That's rough, so it's almost a relief that things went so badly that she kept him too distracted to pick a wife. What if it'd been one of them? Loooool

Meanwhile the stepmom is in pleasant hysterics over how everyone sees how hard she has to work to control her awful daughter uwu

Eventually, there's a knock on the door. And who is it but the Blue Fairy, now wearing a green dress, and who's been wandering from house to house for the last couple of weeks. She's trying to find who this mysterious girl at the ball was, since Chatty Cathy there never thought of asking for Cinderella's name and she feels just awful about how the night ended. She'd completely lost track of time and totally forgot Cinderella was even still there! She didn't mean to do that, and she changed her dress so she could still go to the party in the meantime, and then suddenly it was midnight and she had to give her speech. She's very sorry.

Cinderella doesn't hear any of this, because it's the stepmother who actually answers the door. The stepmother asks why the Blue Fairy thinks this is the house, and the answer's that everyone in town has been pitying and praising the stepmother for having to care for the girl who ruined the royal ball. It's great too, because the prince really took a liking to this mystery girl, and the king was so relieved that he's willing to marry them today if it's possible. How did they get along so well in just a night? "some people just have those vibes tbh"

The stepmother knows exactly what vibes the Blue Fairy means.

And she goes to collect her snobby daughter instead, setting Cinderella to work by conveniently knocking something over that's gonna need some time to clean.

"Here's my strange, darling daughter who captivated the prince," the stepmother says. "One look into her eyes and you'll see exactly what vibes she and the prince apparently share."

The Blue Fairy shrugs and looks (btw a reminder: everyone's black) at the stepsister, who's gotten comfortable enough not forcing herself to stare unblinkingly into other people's eyes that it startles her enough to drop her gaze. Very similar.

The Blue Fairy kind of goes like, "🤔 was that her? Wait, I've got these glass shoes. Do they fit?"

And yes they fit. That's how the stepsister was able to give Cinderella her slippers. Their feet are the same size.

So the Blue Fairy goes, "🤷🏽‍♀️ works for me" and the stepsister goes, "wow I can't believe the prince liked me when we barely spoke a word" and the Blue Fairy's like, "I knooooooww he just talks so much sometimes 😭" and off they go

The other two sisters don't find out for a while. It's sudden, sure, but the ball was to marry the prince off. It looks like the royal family got what they wanted, and the stepmother has turned her sights onto truly 'fixing' her 'problems'. Turns out the loud stepsister wasn't safe either. She's been too loud and too zippy for too long.

It isn't too long before there's another knock on the door, though. It's the prince this time, finally here for himself. Turns out - shockingly! - people with 'vibes' aren't interchangeable, and while the snobby sister may be autistic... she's still kinda snobby. She absolutely hates talking about cleaning supplies, for one thing, which is sort of a quirky lifelong unshakable interest of the prince.

The stepsister wasn't pleased with the mix-up, but she wasn't going to lie about it. Maybe if this had been before that heart-to-heart on the walk back, but she's changed, and she tells the prince about Cinderella. And then rips him a new one for being so ungentlemanly that he didn't even ask a lady for her name before she left the ball, and let her leave just because the lights in that ballroom hit him with a cow-sized migraine. Despite the tone :/, the prince agrees :/, he supposes :/. And then he sets off to find the real lady he met that night.

The first thing they do is talk about how the dress turned out. Perfect! Absolutely perfect! It went right into the Blue Fairy's closet with all the others, never to be seen again, but it was perfect!

The second thing they do is talk about how those cleaning supplies worked a lot faster than Cinderella could've led someone to believe. It sure does seem like she drew it out enough to talk to him. Maybe she was also enjoying it?

The third thing they day is set the record for the kingdom's longest goddamn marriage vows, which they think are super interesting but nobody else does, and the Blue Fairy lasts for about ten minutes before she's so bored that she can't keep sitting there. They're the first royal couple to ever have an intermission at that part, and they're the only royal couple to have not even noticed.

The two stepsisters get some of the best seats in the house. The snobby sister even catches someone's eye, who's quite pleased to look down on those who can't manage to tell forks apart or appreciate the social script for events ameng high society. The loud sister was making new friends, stopped everything to get into the fountain and retrieve a make-up set, hopped back out and went back to her conversation like nothing ever happened, and only kinda regretted it when she put her stuff down on a table and completely forgot it was there. :/ The Blue Fairy did that shit all the time though, so she got her back with a fully upgraded set. 👏🏽

And the stepmother, definitively daughterless and not invited, spent the rest of her days wondering how her ungrateful children could've cut her off so coldly.

YAY THE END

#my stuff #good job tartra #is this anything?#it might be #Cinderella #but everybody's black #and autistic #or has adhd #yaaaaaaaaaaaaaay

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tartrazeen · 5 months

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Why am I making myself sad 😭

I've had this really nice (sad 😭) head canon about Angus and Rohan growing up. I could write it as fanfic...

... or I could just barf it into a post like I'm doing now.

So this is about the two of them when they were very young.

Basic backstory: in my head, when they say they've known each other for "practically all their lives" and "as long as either of them could remember," they mean it: I have Angus as being a year older, and the two of them meeting when Rohan was six and Angus was seven. Both orphans. Both without a home. Rohan woke up from where he'd fallen in a forest one day, and Angus was the kid standing over him, the first thing Rohan saw, who was waiting to see if he was dead or not lol

Angus took enough of a liking to Rohan when they were in that forest that when Angus went to leave, and Rohan sort of baby-duck'd onto him and followed along, Angus mostly just shrugged. There was a village nearby, after all, and that's where Angus had been headed anyway, having just been passing through that forest when he saw a maybe-corpse. When Angus goes to leave that village a few days later, Rohan continues baby-ducking and following his new best friend. Angus, being seven and not thinking any further than his next meal, shrugs and accepts that he's got a buddy now. He has no idea that he's just signed up for a life-long commitment.

Skip ahead to their present day, or maybe a few months after the finale. Maeve's exiled, Nemain hasn't started her shenanigans yet, so there's a decent sense of peace over Kells.

Rohan is telling the others about how he and Angus grew up. In this particular version of my daydream (I like changing it), it's because Rohan's still trying to bond with Lugad but doesn't know how to be an older brother to him. Ivar explains that an older brother's supposed to protect his younger siblings, guide them through life, keep them happy, and help shape them into who they are as adults. And Rohan's miffed, because Lugad's already grown, so it seems like the ship's sailed on that.

Deirdre tries to think of ideas for Rohan to try, and eventually asks how it was for him and Angus. Rohan does his little scoff-laugh, saying he doesn't see what that matters. When the others push, he says Angus is his best friend...

... but to be honest, he wouldn't say Angus was 'protecting' him. Rohan was usually the one getting Angus out of trouble, and Lugad isn't antagonizing every guard in every village. In fact, Lugad grew up in one place. It might have been on a horrible island, but at least Lugad didn't make Rohan move a hundred times because of some tiny thing he didn't like about where they were one morning.

This gets into him explaining that when they were boys - Rohan being seven, Angus being eight - they'd had some rough times trying to survive by themselves. They did take care of each other, but Angus would... well, he'd be a little selfish from time to time. Rohan doesn't blame him because they were both so young, but he says that's the difference between being brothers and being best friends. Rohan loves him and obviously Angus is his family now, but back then, they were just two kids that happened to meet one day.

He gives examples when the others ask. For instance: food. There wasn't much of it. Sometimes, they'd be close to starving. And sometimes, Angus would let the hunger get the best of him, and he'd eat his whole share - more than that - before Rohan even got back to split it. And then Rohan would be stuck eating whatever happened to be left.

It was almost funny, because Rohan could even see how bad it was. Sometimes, Angus would get caught by the guards for stealing and be gone for a few days. Magically, there'd be enough food the whole time that Angus was gone. No hard feelings, Rohan stresses, but it was entertaining to look back on it. Angus had never lost that appetite either; even now, he'd eat everything around him.

The most frustrating part was how Angus always had to complain about where they were living. It'd be over something small, and so small that Rohan can't remember now that nearly fifteen years have passed, but Angus would think it was more than enough reason to pack up that very night and head onto the next village. Eventually, they got to the village closest to the castle, and they had to stay there because where else were they going to go? Rohan had genuinely been afraid when he first became Cathbad's druid, thinking that in the meantime, Angus was going to head off again - without Rohan.

He hadn't. :) All was well.

Anyway, that was why taking lessons from Angus wasn't the best approach.

There's dinner in the throne room later on, and Angus is here now. There's a light conversation and Rohan idly laughs about having to move from village to village so often. Angus rolls his eyes and laughs like he agrees the whole thing was a chore, and Rohan says that at least a lot of good came out of it: if Angus hadn't been so picky, they would've never been where they needed to be for Rohan to become Draganta.

To be honest, there were fun moments while they were moving, too. Angus would whine endlessly about how much he hated the forest, which would shut him up when they finally got to their next village. But despite that, Angus would tell Rohan story after story. They'd be made up, but Rohan still remembers some of them. They were vivid - Angus has always had a way of spinning a tale, and those would lull him to sleep under those trees. It was peaceful. Rohan kind of misses it. Too bad Angus hates sleeping on the ground.

Deirdre asks what sort of stories these were. Rohan says they'd be ones about a clumsy bunny who kept dropping its magic rings, or even one about the princess herself, trying to pluck a silver plate from a waterfall of plates, and only having one chance. Or there'd be a field of grass made out of gold, and a knight having to stomp through with his armour, trying to stop the sheep from eating all the golden grass. Cute things like that.

Angus is a little impressed that Rohan remembers those. Rohan shrugs, saying he's always enjoyed Angus' stories. But now that they're talking about it, and knowing that Rohan did appreciate getting to be in the forest enough to hear them all, what did Angus hate about all those villages?

There's a thoughtful silence and smirk from Angus like he thinks Rohan's making a joke, but Rohan insists he's serious. Angus decides to only half-joke back, glibly replying that it mostly had to do with all of them getting burned down.

Rohan's confused. The others are more surprised, and are able to ask Angus what he means. Angus says that each of those villages were attacked by Temrans. There was a war, after all.

Rohan's very confused.

Not about the war - yes, obviously, there was a war - but about being attacked. They never got attacked by Temrans.

Angus says yes, that's true. Because Angus got them out of the village when he'd heard enough rumours to predict an attack was coming. So then he'd get them both out of there.

The others start asking Angus what it was like, growing up like that. Rohan is quiet as Angus brushes it off and says it was fine, that's how it used to be by the border, and the trick was to keep moving deeper into Kells - towards the castle. In fact, that's how Angus met Rohan: he'd been leaving one village that'd just been attacked, and found this lump of a boy lying in the middle of a forest between the next one. And so a friendship was born.

Rohan says they were never attacked.

Angus agrees again, saying they always stayed a night ahead of it.

Rohan asks how Angus could know.

Angus says they could hear it from the forest.

Rohan says he never heard a thing.

Angus squints at him.

The stories, Angus explains, still kind of smirking because he thinks it's funny that he has to spell this out, were him trying to cover it up. He makes Rohan go through the ones he remembers. What did they have in common? Metal. Crashing on metal. Angus barely remembers any of them, but he's sure there would've been a few to cover any screams.

...

Rohan thinks.

In the awkward silence that Angus is trying to break for the others, Rohan brings up that one story about the wolves that were terrible at howling.

Angus grins. Exactly his point. One of them had to get some sleep, so it might as well have been Rohan.

The others start to chat excitedly about this, Ivar even alluding to Rohan being wrong about Angus looking after him, until Rohan interrupts again. He's beginning to frown.

Rohan asks what Angus means by 'getting some sleep'. He remembers Angus sleeping all the time back then. It was partly why it took so long to leave the forest.

Angus says he'd tell Rohan stories to get the boy to sleep, but Angus himself would be awake to keep an eye out for Temrans. They liked to attack at night back then, so night-time was all he'd been worried about. He'd take naps throughout the day to get some rest in. Which was fine. It helped with the hunger anyway.

Rohan calls Angus out on that, saying Rohan never took naps and he'd have even less to eat than Angus would. That earns him a look from Angus, so he explains how there'd be times where someone wouldn't stick to eating their fair share.

Angus is mildly outraged by the accusation, asking when that had ever happened. Back then, he clarifies. He sneaks a bit now 'cause Rohan always puts the good stuff in his half.

Rohan says that when they were boys, Angus would wait until Rohan was out and then help himself to the food. There'd barely be enough for one of them, and Angus decided to take the first bites anyway.

Angus squints at him.

Rohan frowns back.

Angus asks, starting to smile, like Rohan is playing a trick on him, if Rohan had ever seen Angus this so-called 'share'.

Rohan says no, and that was the point. Angus waited until Rohan had left.

Angus says yes, that was the point. He'd wait for Rohan to go, then wait for him to come back so Angus could lie. There was barely enough for one of them, after all, and Rohan would always make them split it evenly. Angus starts joking about it with the others, bragging about how he'd let Rohan split the food, then just hide his own share and give it back to Rohan at night. There they were, starving orphans, and Angus still had that boy eating twice a day. Better to spread it out like that, obviously.

Rohan doesn't believe this. He can't quite argue it, but he wants to. Eventually he says that if that's true, why would there be food to spare whenever Angus got taken away by the guards?

Angus laughs outright at that, but not at the part about food. The part about the guards. They were living in villages - what guards? Rohan's been living in a castle for too long.

Before Rohan can ask about that, Angus answers his first question with a question: what exactly did he get taken away for? Stealing, was it? And what did he steal? Oh, there was food to spare? Funny, that.

Garrett asks who took Angus to jail, then. Angus says there was no jail. Whatever villager he'd taken food from would find out, beat him half to death, and then he'd need a few days to come limping back to Rohan. He means it light-heartedly, but it's a little more bitter than the rest of what he's said, and the meaning of his words bring an unmistakable sense of pity to the table.

Except for Rohan, who is deeply confused and a tad angry.

Rohan asks if Angus is saying that he wouldn't eat, just give Rohan his food, then sleep through the hunger as they ran from village to village, always only barely ahead of the Temrans.

Angus says yup.

Angus says he's also surprised that Rohan's only figuring this out now. He thought Rohan had known from the beginning. Why else was he following Angus around?

Rohan says it's because they were friends.

Angus shrugs and says that's fair enough.

Rohan can't stomach what he's been hearing. This is news that's come crashing onto him, and Angus is happily chatting with the others and assuring them it was for the best - well, it was horrible, but at least it got them Draganta. Small price to pay for a kingdom, isn't it? And Angus gives a innocent bat of his eyes to the king and says, "You're welcome."

Which is when Rohan leaves the table. Not consciously, of course, but steadily. His ears are ringing at this point. He's not sure if he's cold or sweaty and he doesn't understand why he'd be either.

Rohan doesn't answer when he feels someone calling him. Ivar, he imagines. Although these feel like Garrett's hands leading him to sit. After... months, it seems, his vision - which had blurred some time ago - starts to clear again.

He sees Angus knelt over him. One hand gripping Rohan's shoulder. Angus looks worried and even scared, so different from the boy who'd only grinned in amazement that Rohan wasn't dead in a forest.

Angus had been talking. Rohan hadn't heard. Eventually, the sounds around him returned, and Angus was asking what was wrong. The others were there as well, in varying states of crowding around or stepping back to let Angus handle this.

In my last version of this daydream, Rohan and Angus talk this out right now. In this version, Rohan's more emotionally stunted than that. He apologizes for a making scene, says he isn't feeling well, and then excuses himself back to the hut.

Angus arrives later in the night. By how sheepishly he enters, it's clear to Rohan that Angus thinks he's the one who screwed up. He says as much, apologizing for lying, swearing he thought Rohan knew or puzzled it out by now.

And Rohan breaks.

I mean, truly breaks.

His entire plan was to be stoic about this. He was going to solemnly thank Angus for taking care of them as boys... and still even now, with how much work Angus did to keep him fed and with mended clothes...

But he breaks.

Because Angus was his best friend and was eight and never once complained about the truth of what there was to complain about. And Rohan had complained about that, calling Angus selfish. In hindsight, it was all so perfectly clear that Rohan felt like an ass for not figuring it out. Angus was right to assume he would. So now Rohan was left with an overwhelming guilt of having put that all onto a child, who'd been barely older than him and who'd needed someone's care, but was stuck with Rohan instead.

He cries so hard, he doesn't even realize he's crying into Angus' shoulder or that he's clutching onto his friend as tightly as he is. And Angus allows it to happen, in a flood of patience that never appears unless it's as dire as this. Rohan can feel himself being carefully handled until he's sat on the edge of his cot. It's there that Angus asks if Rohan wants to hear one more story. Rohan agrees by not disagreeing, and Angus sits Rohan back until he's propped up against the thief.

It's exactly like they used to be in those nights: Rohan lying against Angus, curled up under him, and Angus gently holding him there. It isn't perfect, since Rohan's bigger than Angus now, but it feels like a home that Rohan didn't earn.

Angus, in his half-dream of a voice that would never fail to have Rohan at ease, tells a story about a little boy named Schmangus.

Apparently, Schmangus had a hard life growing up. It'd been filled with war and hunger and cold and all the awful things those would do. He doesn't mince words, because he says Schmangus was terrified. Every corner had something new to fear, and he knew he had no choice but to face them anyway if he wanted to live.

One day, Schmangus found a corpse in a forest - only it wasn't a corpse, and it had a name: Schmohan. Schmangus and Schmohan - Rohan would've hit him if this dumb name wasn't so badly what he needed right now - became best friends and went everywhere together. Schmangus never asked him to, but Schmohan always followed along.

The trouble was that Schmohan had all the brains of a child who would drop dead in a forest, and was always trying to share food that wasn't enough to share, and fight wars with a dinky sword that hadn't helped against whatever had knocked Schmohan out in the first place. That meant it was up to Schmangus to keep them alive, and that meant Schmangus had to lie about it.

It wasn't so bad the first time. Or the second. By the third, it had become a pattern. And it got harder and harder to do. Schmangus felt like everywhere he went and everything he touched was cursed, and Schmohan hadn't asked for any of it. Schmangus wanted to keep that curse away from Schmohan for as long as he could; just like food, there was only so much peace to go around, and with how terrified Schmangus was, it only made sense to give that peace to Schmohan.

Stories turned the sounds of war and fire into a melody. Pockets turned a meager scrap into a meal for later. Sleep and water from the river, plus whatever he ate right from a villager's home, got Schmangus through most of it. The villagers didn't catch him often - sometimes Schmangus would just be hiding - but when they did, it was still worth the risk.

He only needed the peace to last until they were somewhere safe. He didn't know where 'safe' was, but now he was making an effort to look for it. Before, Schmangus would simply wander around. Now, he had Schmohan to care for.

Rohan says that Angus was only eight.

Angus says yes, he was, but this wasn't about him, it was about Schmangus, and also, shut it, he isn't done yet.

Schmangus felt a new kind of fear: one of failure. He knew he was only eight, and he knew he didn't know what he was doing. But if he could keep Schmohan from hating him for - shut it, Rohan - for dragging him all over the place like this, he'd be satisfied.

And he was. When they eventually made it to the castle, Schmohan had simply teased him about living in there. It was the best thing Schmangus had heard. It was like everything he'd gone through was worth it. Maybe he'd gone through it alone, but Rohan would always try to split everything - he meant Schmohan, shut up Rohan - and now one of them had enough of a peaceful life to share.

The story used to end there, Angus says, but there's a new ending to it now. Rohan is utterly relaxed into Angus, and at any other time, would have been dozing off already. He asks Angus for the new ending, and Angus provides.

Schmohan, as he'd said, was the sort of boy who'd fight a tree and have it topple over and crush him, so of course he grew up and never figured out any of this until Schmangus told it to him outright. But Schmohan wasn't a fool. Schmohan had become the best warrior of a kingdom named Schmells - Rohan did shove him a little for that - and had figured out many things, even if he still held a spoon like an angry rat - a lot of a shove from Rohan - so it had to mean that Schmangus was very good at lying.

Even on the nights where there were no sounds of war, Schmangus would lie awake worrying that Schmohan had enough. If there'd been any way for him to know that fifteen years later, Schmohan would still be looking back on those days as peaceful journeys with his friend, never aware of attacks, thinking food would appear by itself...

... that boy would've slept with a smile on his face, knowing he'd saved his friend from so much, so completely, his friend would long for those nights. He'd remember the stories as stories alone, and remember what they'd been about. He'd be happy. Still, obviously, very hungry and cold and awake, but happy for what it did.

Rohan asks if it's because Schmells got Schagmanta.

Angus says that's a dumb name, and everyone knows the champion of Schmells is called Footsy O'Bigtooth, and no, that's not why. It was worth it for Rohan alone. And he knows that isn't much, what with how upset Rohan is, but Angus was eight and trying his best. He would've done everything differently if he'd had a way to see their fate, but he didn't. So he doesn't regret doing what he could.

Especially not when it brought them here.

It sits in Rohan's mind for hours. Angus doesn't budge him, save to settle them better on the cot. Eventually, Rohan hears the steady, telltale breath of sleep brushing the top of his head.

He very slowly and carefully chances moving to look up. There, as it'd been in the story, was the softest smile on Angus' face.

Rohan curled himself back under his brother's chin, and went to sleep as well.

#mystic knights of tir na nog #my stuff #good job tartra

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tartrazeen · 15 days

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Omggggg I am obseeeessed with this idea that Lugad's human-self might've been Liam 😭

That's the new spice to throw into this.

Look - I am TRAPPED with this in my head right now. It's been MONTHS. If my brain's gonna keep wildly ping-ponging between - like, two scenarios every hour of the day, I RESERVE THE RIGHT TO ADD A THIRD ONE FOR VARIETY.

So I'm gonna see if the hyperfixation extends to *this* idea if I ask my brain very nicely and actively tie it to one of the other two daydreams as a way of piggybacking it into the rotation 🫠 Segués, I guess.

YAY HUMAN LUGAD-NAMED-LIAM-MYSTIC-KNIGHT-OF-STORM/LIGHT? THAT'LL BE COOL TO FIGURE OUT AN ANSWER FOR YAAAAAAAAAY

Gonna tie it to that idea I had about Rohan trying to get Lugad and Angus to be friends 🤔 Maybe that'll work.

#🫠#my stuff #good job tartra #I GUESS.#mystic knights of tir na nog

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tartrazeen · 2 years

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Connor: oh no

Connor: a password

Connor: i guess i better use my elite hacking powers

Connor:

BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG

reload

BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG

Connor: ok i'm in

#dbh #detroit become human #dbh connor #my stuff #good job tartra

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tartrazeen · 8 months

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Just thinking about the tests Fin Varra made them do.

Also thinking about how Fin Varra was waiting for them to demonstrate particular noble traits.

Mostly thinking about how each trait Fin Varra was testing them on was the one that that particular person lacked.

Even-more-mostly thinking how of they seemed to excel in every other trait except the one they themselves got tested on.

Stopped thinking when I remembered Rohan got noted for his demonstration of courage, then started thinking too much.

😰 + 👀 + 😭 + 💖

(edit: little link to the end of the whole thread uwu)

Because Rohan's supposed to be the brave one, right? The courageous leader?

Ivar gets noted for his loyalty. Everything up to that point was about him trying to ditch the others so he could leave and go back to his quest. He deliberately goes a different direction to get away from them and only comes back because it wasn't safe. But he's also honest, guiding Rohan and Angus to the fairy ring, and he's selfless in how he told the other three to save themselves when he got stuck between those moving walls. I think there's some obvious, generalized courage in there too - blah, blah, blah, kept a cool head, all the fun stuff.

Angus is pretty obviously dishonest. He gets them to the fairy ring by lying to Ivar (and laughing about it), and the massive emphasis on him being a thief fills in the rest for us. But he's unbelievably, unquestioningly, and unflinchingly loyal, so that's covered. He's selfless, choosing to go first across the danger stepping-stones (we're only focusing on what he's like up to this point, so ignore the thousand other things he does later too). And if the show wants to rattle off how "fear is a companion of courage, but never its master," then we've got Angus all over that.

This guy is terrified all the time, makes his whole episode with his armour focusing on how nervous he is, he's constantly picking 'flight and lie' whenever he's in danger, always preaching the safer path... and like I've said many times before, he's throwing himself in harm's way at every moment because that chain of loyalty is dragging him along. It's what Rohan has to do to break that Loss of Courage spell: Angus sees his friends are in danger and jumps in - head empty, no thoughts, all action. Except Angus is 'breaking' through his own fear like every other episode lol (every other episode; he's not a coward, just very keen on being comfortable and alive).

So obviously honesty is his weakspot, because even if he's lying to help his friends, it's still a lie and blah-blah-blah hey angus why don't you fill people in on the whole story instead of keeping them on a need-to-know leash all the time? (oh because he grew up with rohan, who argues about every little thing, and the one time rohan learns the whole story about the steps needed to find draganta, rohan immediately gets them to skip half the steps because presumably full knowledge in rohan's hands is a dangerous thing 🙃)

Deirdre's interesting, because although she's honest (too honest sometimes lmao) and courageous (coming along on the quest by herself) and loyal (doing this for her country), she isn't willing to put others onto her level if they're beneath her. Just like how the little people were kinda justified in wondering if Angus would sell the others out for gold, they were also justified in wondering if she'd bother making any sacrifice for people she was pretty annoyed at being stuck with. She would give her life and safety for Kells, but for these three? Ehhhhhhh. And it goes back to being in question while she's pissed at Garrett's existence, too.

Garrett - omg, yes, honest, stop talking Garrett please. Loyal? Hilariously yes. He's suprisingly dedicated to his alliances and friendships. He just happily torments everyone who isn't specifically a friend or ally. Courageous? Yep, he's got that too. His test was built around it. So it was just humility that he had to deal with - and comparing him to the others, the others are very humble by default.

So...

Rohan.

Honest? Yes, kinda. He openly benefits from Angus' dishonesty, but he's not technically the one lying. Unless you count lying by omission, in which case, Rohan is in second place for Liar Liar Pants On Fire by far.

Selfless? Yeah, kinda. He's going on this quest to save the kingdom but his driving motive's really to find out what his destiny is. It's why he sorta bullies Conchobar into letting him go on that quest at all.

Loyal? I mean, mostly. There aren't really any chances to call it into question. But again, he profits off of Angus' friendship more than anything - volunteering Angus for stuff because he knows he can count on the guy. Which is cute and I love that! It says so much about them as individuals and as BFFs! And you could say he's demonstrating his loyalty in how he uses this quest to immediately spring his friend from jail, and how he lets Angus into Cathbad's chambers as their little secret (which happens constantly enough that they've got signals to each other to coordinate it), and doesn't blame Angus for the potion misfiring when Deirdre asks wtf that smell is. So yeah, he's pretty loyal based on what we see. Doesn't need to prove it any more than Deirdre or Garrett does.

As for humble, even though this one shouldn't count since Fin Varra made it up for Garrett later, he's barely that, but he is. Even though he's trying to be more than he is by following his true destiny, he's acutely aware of what he is right now. He submits to Fin Varra quickly and to Deirdre when she arrives, and he's polite enough about Ivar having dangled him and Angus from a tree for a while. He stays focused on whether or not Ivar's satisfied that they aren't the thief he's looking for rather than letting it bleed into any other grudge once he's got the upper hand - y'know, like how Garrett added insult to injury by letting Rohan fall into the lake.

But courage.

Rohan's brave. He's so dumb that he thinks he can conquer anything. If it wasn't for Angus having all the survival instinct they need, Rohan would've died a hundred deaths before he ever made it to Tir Na Nog. Himbo energy - love it 💖

But being inherently brave means he's never had to work up the nerve to do something that does scare him. He leaves so much unsaid when he speaks to people that the apology he gives Angus in "Friends for Life" is an exception. Look how hard he had to force himself to say something! He didn't have a problem apologizing to Deirdre and Ivar, but when it came to saying it to the person he actually needed to say it to, he had to be summoned on the king's orders to wait in an empty room with Angus (who also had to be summoned there on the king's orders) and then stand in silence for a while until he could stumble around on his words and then FINALLY apologize. Like - he didn't seek Angus out for this! Angus had to be delivered to him. I wouldn't be surprised if someone was even eavesdropping to make sure Rohan spat it out before everyone else walked in.

Every other time, he clams up, he brushes it off, he misdirects onto someone else instead of talking to the person he should be talking to (wow, yeah, thinking about it? He does this all the time), or he goes around gathering everyone else's thoughts to make sure they agree with him first.

The episode where he loses that inherent bravery is one of the few times he has to overcome a genuine sense of fear - like he can't do something because he's too scared to do it, not because it's too difficult to take on at that moment and there's Angus losing his shit trying to stop Rohan from taking it on anyway.

Even though everyone uses 'courage' and 'bravery' interchangeably, Fin Varra seems to be the only one who means it in that "doing it even though you're scared" way. Everyone else seems to refer to courage as "not being scared in the first place, or at least having your fear be so manageable that it's only there to give you an adrenaline rush." Hell, Cathbad's fake Bravery Powder is accurately named, since the fact that Angus more or less settles on Laughing Powder instead (can't be scared if you're laughing) makes it a pretty telling substitute. Also it makes him stupid so lmao that's telling for what a lack of fear means in this show

So I do kinda think Fin Varra saw Rohan as a big, dumb soldier that would take the easy way out in danger. Going back to rescue Ivar must've certainly been impressive! To throw away an easy exit to save this other person who's been trying to ditch you this whole time? Wonderful!

Rohan is so damn lucky the test wasn't like a job interview with references, 'cause if Fin Varra talked to Angus for even five seconds first, Angus would've absolutely been like, "nah he just does that lol it's actually harder to get him not to run into mortal danger" and Fin Varra would've been like, "hm ok disqualified" or made the test be "apologize to your endlessly suffering friend in under an hour for the latest shit you did" and Rohan would've failed

and then wat

no show :'(

#mystic knights of tir na nog #my stuff #good job tartra

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