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piracytheorist · 3 years

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I... started replying to these questions and only near the end did I realize that @spellcasterdouxie tagged me in their similar post, but not (directly) for me to answer these questions. But they did leave the tag open and by the time I realized it I had answered almost all the questions, so I’m going through with it, lol XD

rules: answer the questions and then tag 10+ other creators to answer the questions!

first creation and most recent creation of 2020: My first one is also my very first Grim Fandango ficlet titled Have You Forgotten Yours?, which I wrote pretty much after finishing the game at the beginning of the year. My most recent one is this Captain Amelia gifset :)

one of your favourite creations from 2020: I think I’ll go with this gifset and meta of that Douxie and Merlin scene. Making the gifset and writing the meta made me pretty emotional, and it meant so freaking much to me that tenyai replied to it too.

a creation you’re really proud of: Full context aside, this one from Gordo and Trudy doing the frickle frackle was a pain to make because the scene was not only super dark, it was also chokeful of noise, so with the content I had I’m quite happy with how I managed to make it look.

a new style you tried this year and a gifset that uses it: I don’t use greyscale a lot and I have used it before, but I am pretty happy with this one of Gordo having an angsty shower but this time in B&W, and totally because of the style and not what the gifset shows, of course, why would you think otherwise my good sir

your favourite colouring: I don’t do much colouring in my gifsets, I mostly fix brightness, contrast and the colour tone, so the difference is rarely discernible unless you compare the gif with the original. But this gifset of Detective Rogers was interesting to toy with :D (also how was it that I made it in APRIL it feels like I made it a year ago and tbh that feeling isn’t surprising with this year is it)

a creation that took you forever: Definitely my Douxie’s leitmotif video. I had to rewatch the whole show looking out for his leitmotif (and I still missed one or two moments, shame on me lol), then transcribe all of its appearances into sheet music, then edit the whole thing, scenes and sheet music, together. I don’t remember exactly but I’m pretty sure that organizing the whole thing took like, a week, until the video was ready. And then youtube took it down because of copyright and I had to downgrade its size so that I could upload it to vimeo, lol. It didn’t get a lot of popularity but I didn’t really expect it to, it was a bit too technical and was mostly made for my own entertainment.

your creation from 2020 that received the most notes: My gifset of Douxie and Claire high-fiving!

a creation you think deserved more notes: This one and like, I’m not one to beg for notes or complain but it was surprising it got so few notes considering a) it’s from a scene not many people have made a gifset from, b) said scene has great comedic timing and like, why not and c) pretty much every other Douxie gifset I made got more than 200 notes so this one stands out. Again, not complaining, it was just weird why this specific gifset flopped (in comparison to my other Douxie gifsets), lol.

a creation with a favorite scene/quote: Oh, fuzzbuckets!

a new fandom you joined and a creation you made for it: The Douxie fandom (I haven’t watched the other ToA shows so I don’t consider myself a part of the whole series fandom), and here’s the very first gifset I made of him!

a creation you made that breaks your heart: Oh that’s definitely this gifset of Douxie in that scene with Charlemagne and the staff. I can’t even. My boy T_T

a ‘simple’ creation that you really love: This gifset of Douxie throwing some “Magic fire!” in a BoOksToRe because while it was quite simple to colour it and stuff, I really really enjoyed how well-timed the gifs are.

a creation that was inspired by another one: I guess the “[Character] + TV Tropes” is a common theme for gifsets and stuff here, so this one I made of Douxie + TV Tropes is probably fitting for this question :D

a favourite creation created by someone else: One??? Uh... This Grim Fandango fanart (skeleton alert)

some of your favourite content creators from the year: @carpedzem, @valentimmy, @dahliycia, @inhonoredglory, @spellcasterdouxie, @a-s-levynn and @nikibogwater.

and for good measure, another couple more creations of yours that you love: 1) Silver from Treasure Planet with the pirate flag waving behind him, 2) Gordo and Trudy having a quiet moment and giving the sweetest faces to each other what do you mean it didn’t end there, 3) Douxie fighting with Morgana 4) Douxie hating those twits, 5) Douxie being 919 and not knowing how to read (Ancient Draconic) and 6) Colin characters wearing Among Us hats.

I’m bad at tagging people so if you want to do it, or if you do the same mistake I did XD do it and tag me :D

.... And then I clicked “Save draft” again instead of “Post”. That’s why this comes like three days later XD

#lillpon rambles

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userseokkie · 5 years

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Steve Rogers is a walking contradiction: the anti military soldier

After reading this meta on a gifset about Steve and Tony i got carried away and wrote essentially an essay about the analysis that had been made. and while i agree with the general sentiment of the post, some things didn’t sit right with me. btw i decided to make this my own separate post because this isn’t intended to start an argument or derail the original post, i know it can be annoying for gif makers to have dozens of comments added onto their posts.

(the meta in question)

ok so full disclaimer I’m not American and I’m not white. i just felt like this analysis was really interesting and when I read it I couldn’t stop all these thoughts that formed in my head, next thing I know I had written all of this in like 30 minutes. I’m not trying to argue or start shit, this is my own personal analysis of Steve’s character and why I don’t agree with some things said above.

First of all, let’s get this out of the way: Steve does not trust the US government. at least not blindly. the fact that he’s still the little shit that had a real problem w authority figures is something they touch upon on catfa a lot. he changed on the outside but on the inside he’s still that idiot punk kid and like, I get what the tags above me are saying but also Steve’s arc is more than that? and let’s not forget this stupid movie was written and directed by thanos Joss “I’m the true feminist ally” whedon so I would take this exchange with a grain of salt. I mean this is the movie that gave us “gOllY tHeRe’S OnLy oNe gOd m'Am” and “sOn oF a GuN” Stephen Rogers which is the most ooc thing I’ve seen since endgame’s Steve. Steve is a fucking potty mouth ffs he’s Irish and a soldier, so that doesn’t even make sense. but anyway, my point is something else, nvm this movie’s portrayal of Steve in general.

I guess we could probably argue all day long abt which Steve portrayal is the most accurate one since his character in the MCU is the one that’s suffered the most at the hands of inconsistent characterization, but I prefer thinking he already WAS someone that was well aware of the horrors of war and how unfair it was to recruit people w lies and the promises of education opportunities and loans for the poor to join the army, because he LIVED that he grew up dirt poor and had to see his mom take on three different jobs to support herself and him, so he’d consider this attempt to bring civilians into the military life by preying on their needs disgusting, he’d be fucking seething with anger. and if he had lived through the 60s (which I think it’s better for everyone involved that he didn’t, can u imagine poor guy would’ve died from the disappointment in what his country had become) I highly doubt he would’ve been the bitter WWII vet that defended Vietnam and shit on the protestors……. Steve would support the citizens’ rights to ask for accountability and demand justice!! even the hippie movement I think he would’ve been ok with when he saw that they were advocating FOR PEACE. that’s why he enlisted on the war after all, to bring the fight to an end and to have Bucky come HOME. I think Steve rogers would be all for peace. I mean, civil disobedience and telling the government to shove it? that’s Steve Rogers’ goddamn ethos. he would be all over that shit.

I agree w op’s tags where they say Steve doesn’t represent America, he represents what America wishes it had been. and I think Steve himself would be well aware he’s the anomaly here, the one that should have been America’s highest ideal. and I think that makes Steve very wary of his own image, anything he endorses becomes what America endorses. Steve rogers isn’t important, Captain America is. but I think Steve’s response here has more to do with his coping mechanisms to deal with loss, rather than coming from a place of “oh we’re soldiers, it’s what we do, we die for our country.” while Tony’s response comes from a place of anger (we are NOT soldiers!!! fuck u old man, i never asked for this!!! coulson didn’t ask for this!!!!!) Steve’s reaction comes from the intrinsic nihilism and dadaism product of his own time. it’s not that he’s minimizing Coulson’s death, it’s more that he’s so used to losing people, the thousands he met that died in European soil, the sick and ill from his ma’s work that died everyday, his own father whom he never even met, that his mechanism is to just. shut down. shrug it off a bit, even. people die. every day. “for believing” means for standing for something, because Steve is WELL aware that people that stand for nothing will fall for anything, and standing for something gives counterbalance to the official agenda. in his eyes, Coulson died not because he’s a soldier and winning the war means being prepared to make a few sacrifices. Coulson died because he chose to believe in something that the majority didn’t care about or even actively sought to destroy (the wsc over fury’s shoulder) and he died because he would not back down from the fight. I can do this all day is something Steve feeds off of because he knows that when you stop getting up from the ground, anyone and anything can strike you down.

but on another note, I get that Avengers happens literally 6 fucking days after he woke up from the ice, he probably had no time to catch up on all the atrocities the US had done on his behalf, or rather on what they said he represented, on the ideal he died defending and the US took and twisted and tore apart until it was no longer recognizable. Steve being a week out of the ice is super sad and to me, the biggest crime this movie did was literally brushing off Steve’s trauma, being riddled with PTSD and shocked from waking up seventy years in the future was not even addressed. at all. this could’ve been easily avoided by setting the movie at least a couple of months AFTER he wakes up. but whatever. After learning of all the shit the US has done, I think Steve rogers would be the first to walk out of there and be like “fuck it, I died for this country and you took it and fucked it up and now young people and people who’ve been killed for protesting your shitty ass decisions genuinely believe I would side with the government. they think I’M the stubborn baby boomer who kisses government boots and would approve of the Gulf War or the Vietnam War or the Central American coups or the war on terror or any of the stupid shit you’ve pulled in the 70 years I was gone!!! YOU MADE ME A SYMBOL FOR YOUR BIGOTRY WHAT THE FUCK”. so he obviously needs time to catch up on all of that before realizing how bad they fucked up his memory and how corrupt the system has become. but Steve’s depiction as a boy scout who believes the US can do nothing bad is inherently wrong and something only this one movie tries to do. no other movie featuring Cap tries to drive the point home that Cap is a goodie two shoes who still believes in american exceptionalism.

CATWS was the gold standard because it truly touched upon the cognitive dissonance Steve experiences coming out of a 70 year nap. the loss he experiences not only for being “the man out of time”, but the true man behind the symbol. heavy are the shoulders that carry the world indeed. and he’s been carrying the entire world on his since he decided to become Captain America. I truly believe the tragedy of Steve Rogers comes from the lack of agency he has over the Captain image, one that has been used to prop up political agendas over and over again. of course, he’s the one that decides to be Captain America as much as he is Steve rogers, blurring the lines between the two men. he could’ve retired, he could’ve adopted a new mantle or even go the old reliable route and try to keep a civilian life away from the superhero gig. but he didn’t. even in the comics whenever he tried to do that it didn’t stick for more than a few issues. so, you know in CATWS he truly experiments what it’s like to pull back the curtain and see the wizard behind it, he faces this disenchantment with the institutions that created him, both SHIELD and the US government. this helps pinpoint the moment he grows super distrustful of politics and agendas, because up until this point he’d only been in the battlefield, and he realizes governments cannot be trusted to make the right decision or even act in benefit of their people.

this way, Civil War does make sense when you see how Steve has grown so disappointed with modern politics that he sees the Sokovia accords as one big red flag, and the first step in a direction that only points toward authoritarianism and civil control. this movie deals with many things poorly of course, but one thing that doesn’t feel ooc is Steve telling the UN to fuck off. He wasn’t around to see the formation of the united nations remember? he literally has no background on what collective security and globalized autonomy are. there’s many things that could’ve been different in CW, but Steve was on the “right” side of the conflict for his character. (i’m NOT saying there’s a wrong and a right side on the Civil war dilemma. that whole thing was badly written so let’s just say it made sense in a hypothetical way). supporting the government in any capacity isn’t a part of Steve’s “thing”, but even when/if he sided with the US govt, he’d never endorse a political agenda that he perceives as “wrong”, knowing it’s hypocritical to do so.

he doesn’t think the end justify the means, which is highly different from Tony’s pragmatism. if Steve and Tony represented opposing philosophical movements, Tony would be utilitarianism and Steve would be deontology. this brings the analysis full circle by pointing out that yes, Tony and Steve operate differently in theory, but in practice they both work for the same objective. Tony is the cynic product of his own doing, he understands how war can destroy and he knows the US has a bad track record of owning up to its own shit. and because of that, he believes that the most good he can do is in his own hands (and because of his extremist way of thinking, he also equates that with being the only one who can do it and therefore, he must, no matter the personal cost). On the other hand, Steve is the idealist product of other’s people efforts, he understands how sometimes war can be the only way to save what is worth saving, but also how it can corrupt even the noblest of men. and because of that, he believes that the most good he can do must be done because other people believe in him, and because by setting the example, others can follow and make the world a better place. (and because of his very stubborn nature, he also equates that with being the ‘tree that must plant itself in the ground and say no, you move’.)

so what I guess I’m trying to say, is that to me at least, saying that Steve Rogers would be in favor of US militarism or that he equates the word “soldier” with hero is a huge disservice to his character. the fact that he’s a fictional character that was first conceived as WWII propaganda is not relevant, because I choose to believe the idea that says fiction stops being the creator’s own the moment it’s out in the world. And Steve Rogers NOW is a different character and serves a different purpose than what he was originally intended to. His entire origin is based on being a soldier, yes, but what makes his character so compelling is the juxtaposition between being a soldier and being essentially opposed to what the US military complex entails. he embodies a lot of american values ofc, like freedom and right of free speech and so, but my take is that he defends this values in a way that is distinctly non American. setting aside discussions of propaganda and the integrity of an art form, i think he’s been written in a way that evokes patriotism without being exclusively american. i mean heck, Steve rogers makes me proud to be from my own country, and inspires me to be better while never reminding me of the fact that he’s from an imperialist super power. Star spangled suit aside, he’s probably a fair enough representation of what one's love for their own country can bring to the surface, no matter which country specifically. i could delve more into that, but this is already getting too long and, since i already mentioned, I’m not from the US and my cultural upbringing is far different from the US. so i’m not sure i could make such a poignant analysis about the military culture and the way it impacts characters such as Steve.

#why tf did i write this #full disclosure i took two adderalls today oop #maybe that's why #steve rogers #marvel meta #mcu #marvel #captain america

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winchester-reload · 7 years

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What I’m working on...

I was tagged by the absolutely wonderful @formidablepassion to spill all my current WIP secrets. The secret is, I don’t have a lot ( I try to keep it manageable). But I’ll give you guys a little taste of the three I’m currently cooking.

Only one of them is posted as a readable WIP right now, so I’m going to provide a small excerpt of each one, and for the posted one, a little excerpt from a chapter not published yet.

All of the following are Dean/Cas pairings, and all three will be explicit (though the excerpts are not).

Rules Do Dis: List all the things you’re currently working on in as much or little detail as you’d like, then tag some friends to see what they’re working on. This can be writing, art, vids, gifsets, whatever.

What I’m working on:

After Dark (my AO3 nightmare child): I think I’ve made it no secret that this particular fic has been a bit of a struggle for me to write, but that’s my own fault. I should stop fighting the characters and just let The Thing(tm) happen that keeps trying to happen (and no, I won’t elaborate on that).

Current Unpublished Chapter (17): “Soft Light”

Dean was in a gray robe, tied tight around the waist. His hair was fluffy wet from the shower and his skin was a pinked kind of new that made him look about ten years younger. Everything was different, and Sam didn’t need a road map to know why.

“How is he?” he asked, and Dean offered the question a little consideration before shrugging.

“He’s okay. Sleeping. Out cold, actually, which is kinda strange to see--”

“He’s human.”

Dean’s breath holed up at that. He played his bottom lip between his teeth before nodding. “Yeah,” he agreed, “No more feathers.” And there was a little smile that chased it, because for everything Sam’s brother was, he was always a sucker for a sweet gesture, and Cas never seemed to miss an opportunity.

A Love Story in Pieces (unpublished): This is my 12x12-inspired (and coda-esque oneshot approximately 15k words, coming out soon. This particular excerpt takes place directly after 12x12, but the story itself is a stand-alone. (If it feels like I cut this excerpt off right before the porn, it’s because I am nothing if not an evil wench.)

“What do you want me to do?” Cas asked. “What do you want me to say? Do you want me to tell you it was a mistake? That I messed up -- misspoke? I’ll say it.”

“I want you to cut the crap!”

Cas’ eyes dogged off the fallen books and back again. “Fine. I’m in love with you,” he said squaring his shoulders. “I said it. And I meant it. I thought I was going to die, and I needed you to know.”

It was quick and sharp and so off-the-cuff, that it sliced straight through Dean’s chest and staggered him back. The air sucked out of him, and he suddenly felt blocked off. There was police tape everywhere and flashing red lights: DO NOT CROSS, YOU MORON. GO BACK. GO BACK RIGHT NOW -- but it was way too late for that. The words were already spilled: Fucking black and white on the page.

Not even just love this time.

IN LOVE.

Dean shook his head, backed up. “No,” he puffed, and it was hell gathering the energy to get it out. He bit his lip, tried to head the tears off, because a little pain always worked -- usually worked -- but they spilled over anyway. He wasn’t sure why the fuck it hurt so much. Like a straight razor dragged over the soft skin of his feet.

“No? No, what? I don’t understand.”

“No!” Dean shoved Cas into the shelves again, this time Cas caught his hand, shoved him back. Dean stumbled into the library table. It screeched along the floor as it kicked sideways.

“Why are you trying to fight me?”

“Because you were gonna die!”

“I don't understand, Dean! I’m trying to understand!”

“I dunno how to get an angel back, you sonofabitch! If you tell me you love me an’ you die, and I can't get you back!”

Cas blinked surprise back at him, that bottom lip wobbling. “But I didn’t...” he huffed. “I didn’t die…”

He didn’t--

Versions of Me (unpublished): This is an drafting-stage, Girl, Interrupted kinda AU (yeah, an actual AU. IDK, I figured I’d try something different). Length unknown atm. The summary will read something like:

Life is hard, living is harder. As Dean trudges through his own psychological break, he learns what it means to find support in others, and in opening himself up, maybe even more.

A quiet look at the difficulties of dealing with mental illness, and how ‘bent’ does not necessarily mean ‘broken’.

~CW: suicidal ideation~

((Side Note: This excerpt is a very unpolished, first-draft run just for kicks))

Get a fuckin’ grip, Winchester.

He buried his face in his hands, took a long breath, settled on his knees.

Mid October had the leaves jumping, the trees and the whole world turning orange. He watched the patches of fallen leaves gather and dance over the grass. At the edge of the field, a group of evergreens bent in the wind. Snow wouldn’t be too far away, and that’s what the wind was telling everyone now. A friendly whisper that congenial temperatures were packing up and heading south.

He closed his eyes and breathed it in. It smelled like something only people on the other side of the fence got: freedom. Except he realized as he sat there, the fence wasn’t just around the field, because even when he was on the other side of it, there was still something just like it bottling up his mind.

But, at least he could touch the fence.

He’d lost the orderly at the edge of the patio, sitting now in a folding lawn chair at the edge of the concrete, just watching.

Dean flopped back into the grass with a huff and stared up at the sky. Stars growing bold as they chased the fading sunlight to the horizon, cold dew eating into the thin hospital thread at his back.

Didn’t matter. Make me cold. Better’n numb.

He suddenly caught Cas out of the corner of his eye. Butted up to the chain link a couple feet away, fingers threading it behind his head. Outside. Always outside.

He too had eyes on the sky. Of course he did. His neck a lovely curve in the shadow, and it struck Dean a little odd that he noticed it.

“Yeah you do,” he blurted and Cas looked over, snagging Dean in his face again. The bags under his eyes caught the shadows while his cheekbones laughed them away.

“What do I do?” he asked quietly.

“You think you’re an angel. I see the way you look at the sky.”

Castiel cocked his head. “Have you been watching me, Dean?”

Dean’s admittedly heavy heart picked up a couple steps, and he sucked his bottom lip into his mouth. “Just happened to catch you,” he lied.

“Yes, well, fortunately thinking I’m an angel and believing I’m an angel are two very different things. In this case, anyway.”

Dean wanted to ask what that meant, but he didn’t, so the wind did them a favor and filled the gaps. It took Cas’ hair and brushed it back. Even in the shadow his eyes could talk.

“I know this is a stupid question,” he said leaning over his knees, “but, are you alright? I know there’s an adjustment period.”

“The adjustment period has me by the balls, I think,” Dean admitted.

“I figured. I don't suppose you know how close to sedated you almost got.”

“Huh?”

Cas threw a thumb toward the patio. “He’s got a haldol cocktail in that pocket. It isn’t fun.”

Dean looked back, saw the orderly turning something in his hands.

“How long?”

“Six to eight hours of zombie land.”

“No, how long have you been here?”

Cas picked a blade of grass, squinted. “Oh. Which time?”

Dean mulled it and swallowed a follow up comment. There was something so latently sad about that answer that he couldn’t put his finger on. But he was pretty sure it had everything to do with the intelligence he saw in those eyes.

Change the subject.

“Can’t drink, can’t smoke… can’t kill yourself. What the hell you supposed to do in this place beside tick off Gigantor for a dose of the not fun drugs?”

Castiel chuckled. “Why can’t you?” then he added, “smoke,” just to be clear.

“My fuckin’ brother. I love the guy, but he’s a moral highground kinda asshole, and it just don’t rub with me.”

“Ah, more flags?”

“Bingo.”

If these gems interest you, and you find yourself wanting something complete, my masterlist is here, and my AO3 is here.

Tagging: @aoitrinity @braezenkitty @tellthenight @rosewhipped22 @nofearoffeathers @destielmixtape @nera-solani and anyone else who wants to do the thing!

#fanfic #destiel #games #wip #my fic #excerpts #canonverse #and a surprise AU

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