#hastur's platform shoes

[duke-hastur]

You are a tall boi (gn)

It's the platform shoes.

But why are you saying good night. It's morning. And it should be bad night/morning. I'm a demon and demons are bad.

#hastur answurs #hastur doesn't understand what (gn) means #hastur's platform shoes #hastur good omens #good omens hastur #hastur x ligur #hastur #maggot husbands #hastur and ligur #hastur speeks #ineffable #hastur speaks

[ligur-duke-of-hell]

You are just a little guy

No! It only looks that way cause Hastur wears platform shoes.

#ligur answers #hastur's platform shoes #hastur and ligur #maggot husbands #hastur x ligur #ligur #ligur duke of hell #ligur stans his man #good omens ligur #hastur #ligur good omens #hastur good omens #good omens #ineffable

[evilasiangenius]

Sometimes it’s useful to have a height comparison chart.  Note that I switched the order of Crowley and Aziraphale in the second image. 

#mistakes were made #actual heights of actors used #but for Asmodeus #Hell is pretty freaking tall #did I post something like this before? I don't remember #sadly the website doesn't allow for nonbinary #just 'male' and 'female' #no height info on the actor who played sandalphon #sorry dagon we are omitting you because it only allows up to 6 characters #also did not include hastur's platform shoes

[the-demon-team]

Hello, darlings. Let's cut straight to it, yes?

I was recently informed of a discrepancy, and I'm quite upset that it went unresolved this long.

Would you like to get paid? If yes, in what?

None of us are straight, but okay.

@duchess-shax: I'd like to get paid in used panties. So I can sniff them.

@furfurs-fotos: I'd like to get paid in tootsie pops, please. I just like licking them, okay?

@ligur-duke-of-hell: I'd like to get paid in inches. Everybody said I was just a little guy. I wanna get taller so I can show them all

@duke-hastur: I'd like to get paid in platform shoes. So I can always be taller than Ligur.

#the demon team answers #maggot husbands #shax #shax x furfur #ligur #hastur #furfur #the demon team speaks #good omens #the demon team #ineffable

[neil-gaiman]

Please. I need to know the answer to this. Were Hastur’s shoes in the 70’s disco scene made specifically for that scene, or is he walking around on foot-tall platforms for the whole show???

Those were Hastur’s shoes all the way through.

[meltingpenguins]

More food for thought:

While Hastur’s platform shoes are there to make him appear taller on screen at the end of the day...

Let’s try to implement them in universe:

What if, on account of being a frog, his gait without them would be a bit wobbly and bouncy, and he’s embarrassed by it, that’s why he wears those.

#good omens #hastur #good omens prime #good omens meta #good omens headcanons

[angelite-and-serpentine]

A head cannon about Crowley’s fashion choices in the winter: 

Sometime in the mid-1950′s Crowley gave up on finding boots that wouldn’t get soaked with the sidewalk slush that inevitably followed several days after a snowstorm. He’d tried everything from snow boots (too clunky on his feet), to rainboots (not insulated enough), to cowboy boots (he had actually liked those, but he lost them during an unfortunate run in with Hastur. When he looked for new ones, they just couldn’t compare.), to tall, platform heels (his reasoning had been that, if the shoe was high enough from the ground, then his food wouldn’t get wet. While a good theory, it didn’t hold up well. He had liked the heels themselves, though.) Regardless of the shoe, unfortunately, so he resigned himself to wearing shoes he liked and drying them once he got to where he was going. 

#where i grew up slush soaking into your shoes during the winter is a super common problem #i however not grow up in london so this might not be particularly accurate to the region #but just image it's london several days after an uncharacteristically bad snowstorm #crowley #go headcanons #good omens #also! this is a paragraph in a fic that i've been working on! #it's not uploaded yet because of that hashtag editing process #but we're getting there #go fanfic #ineffable husbands #i know that this is technically an ineffable husbands post #but i'd love to leave the door open as it were #in case anyone wanted to add onto this #and think about how aziraphale might try to help

[bullet-farmer]

Having some fun with angel and demon height charts. You can find the one I used here.

All of these are based on the actors’ heights. I gave Hastur a boost, though, because of those platform shoes, which I assume were meant to have him tower over everyone even more. Five inches felt like a good estimate.

Sandalphon: 5 foot 9 (175.3 centimeters)

Hastur: 6 foot 6 (198.1 cm)

Ligur: 5 foot 11 (180.3 cm)

Beelzebub: 5 foot 6 (167.6 cm)

Gabriel: 6 foot 1 (185.4 cm)

Dagon: 5 foot 7 (170.2 cm)

Michael and Uriel are booth 5 foot 9 (175.3 cm) (though I’m not sure how accurate the height I found for Gloria Obianyo (Uriel) is.)

After doing this, I’m really not sure why everyone thinks Beelzebub is super tiny. Compared to Gabriel or Hastur, sure. But she’s well above the average height for a woman** in the UK, which is 5 foot 3. Dagon’s only got an inch on her, and Uriel and Michael aren’t really that much taller, either.  ** I don’t know how to put this in less binarist terms, I’m afraid, since the survey I’m taking this data from really only looked at cis men and women. Likewise, the options on the chart are solely male and female, and defaulting to just one or the other for all characters didn’t sit right with me. But the shape of the figures isn’t really important; their height is. 

#good omens #height references #beelzebub #gabriel good omens #hastur #ligur #dagon #michael god omens #uriel good omens #sandalphon

[superfast-jellybitch]

@that one archive of our own commenter who told me I shouldn't write Hastur in platforms because "they only put him in those shoes to make him appear taller onscreen":

Are the stripper heels better?

#good omens #hastur #Im not usually this salty #But also #I had this drawing sitting in my sketchbook #My art

[meltingpenguins]

Sometimes I do get a little sad they (probably/likely) gave Ned Dennehy those shoes to have Hastur appear close to 7′ on screen (Dennehy is 6′2 iirc).

Imagine the human slinky we might have gotten if not hindered by the platform shoes.

#good omens #good omens spoilers #hastur #ned dennehy

[meltingpenguins]

As we are all pretty honest with each other here (love it), allow me to start of a little ramble post about things in Good Omens fanfics that just irk me.

Tagging characters that are barely even mentioned. Look the tagging system on ao3 is there so people can find stories with specific stuff. So for Bosh’s sake, stop tagging characters that aren’t even mentioned in what you upload, or that are barely mentioned.

Wig, plattforms and crocs for Hastur when you are otherwise writing serious. Look, it’s all in good fun, but when you try to write a serious scene acting as if the platform shoes and crocs are canon is just ridiculous. And the wig is a directional decision I’ll never like nor understand. wtf

Dumbing the characters down. Now, flanderization is something every fandom suffers from. But oh boy, don’t hastur, ligur and gabriel get the shortest end of the stick. Like c’mon. When you’re joking around, alright, go for it. But when you are writing a ‘serious’ fic, cut it out. 

just some petpeeves

#good omens #hastur #meeps rambles