#have i ever used either of those tags

[mxtxfanatic]

Fandom Gripe #23: I know that fandom is in some deep denial about its treatment of female characters that are canonically involved with fan favorite m/m ships, but do y’all realize that when you disappear female characters from the narrative wholesale to push the idea that your canonically straight fav was “secretly gay all along!” you’re making several bad implications? That 1) bi men don’t exist, 2) bi men do exist, but those who have genuinely loved a woman before cannot genuinely love a man after that (therefore bi men don’t exist in practice), 3) women cannot inspire genuine love and devotion in men, therefore any relationship with a woman is “lesser” than the one they later have a man (see previous parenthesis), or 4) to acknowledge the existence of a lovable woman who isn’t a terrible person, where if a relationship previously existed, it did not end because of “incompatibility,” is enough to destabilize the present relationship between two queer men?

Because why is the tgcf fandom allergic to acknowledging that He Xuan had a whole ass fiancée that he loved? Why does no one ever seem to remember that the kidnappings and murders of He Xuan’s sister and fiancée were the final straws that sent him on his rampage, and he still keeps a shrine to them in the present-day of the story? Why is her entire existence and significance to He Xuan as a man, character, and to his character arc disappeared in favor of pushing Shi Qingxuan—the brother of the man responsible for his fiancée’s death—into that same role, as if to say that her impact on He Xuan is significant... just not when it's from her? Why does He Xuan’s life in fandom essentially begin not just after her death but because of it?

#tgcf #human gripes at fandom #anyways these are rhetorical questions because I already know the answer #i just absolutely hate it #why do y’all hate female characters so badly 😭 #especially when they ‘get in the way’ of m/m ships? #mxtx shows that woman more respect in the book than fandom does outside of it #and she didn’t even give that character a name! #simply embarrassing #i could have also talked about jgy here #but let’s be real: that man never loved qin su (or anyone) #so i did not want to include him when discussing people who are *actually* capable of unconditionally loving others #but anyways #mdzs fandom sure loves to either disappear qin su #or act as if she’s the one responsible for why their precious ‘meng yao’ can’t just hop into bed with his bros #you know? the one he killed and the one he used as an accomplice in his murder? those bros? that he so obviously loved with sincerity? #at least moreso than he could ever love a *woman* amiright? #(for legal purposes that last tag was a joke) #i also really hate the implication that he xuan had no life before shi wudu ruined it #that in fact shi wudu made his life 'better' by tying him to shi qingxuan #the romanticization of shi wudu's actions to make way for a ship is... a Choice

[lunarharp]

more phoenix wright situations

#ace attorney tag #maybe i should tag this narumitsu or something. but i dont really care. #gearing up to rereading/illustrating bits of my fic i suppose...i think nick really is too dense to realise he's in love with edgeworth #without some scheming fop trying to intrude. i love villains like kristoph..villains can be fun..witnessing their pathetic folly.. #or more like edgeworth would never have mentioned his feelings ever in his life if he wasn't sure phoenix reciprocates. #i want to see it this way because Falling in love during childhood with the person you're going to end up with. is not relatable #there have to be Situations that make you Realise. #as with orufrey i adore the idea of people not working out their romance with that person until their 30s+ #but... i mean. even with orufrey i often think how alaira could be qifrey's ex. and oru having been pursued by noble fops through his work #there is that delicate sliver of time before orufrey start living together that such believable situations could have happened. #Then the relief of politely and amicably extricating themselves from those untenable situations #the idea of falling in love age 7 and saving your first kiss for age 35 or something is all very well but more relatable is #people realising how they really feel whilst trying something that ends up feeling wrong. #The comfort and joy of living with your dearest one as if it's platonic - much preferable to trying anything more with anyone else. #But i doubt i will ever portray that or mention it further. it is indeed very delicate to me. #and i really am an OTP FOR LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! kind of person who can barely bear to consider this anyway...NOT a polyshipper i'm afraid ! #so i wouldn't mind either if they do have their first kiss in their lives age 35 with each other either. I would not mind that at all. #i love bi/gay couples apparently... bi father figures & their grumpy gay men waiting for them to work it all out... #not used to using colour in comic-style drawings..or at all..so this is messy and awkward looking..but colour is refreshing #i imagine i will go back to witch hat art soon btw. my destiny in life. #i still remember writing my nrmt fic expecting to write their first kiss & then partway through twas like Umm No. They have kissed prior. #does that really line up with this comic though... i think i had their early dinner dates/first kiss BEFORE disbarment. #so i guess this comic doesn't line up with my ficverse.... No..... U___U Oh well. sorry kris! <3

[sugarsnappeases]

thank you for the tag @fxreflyes this is so cute, except the format is trying to hinder my propensity to ramble, so i’ve rectified this in the tags lmao

i’m over 5'5 / i wear glasses or contacts / i have blonde hair / i often wear sweatshirts / i prefer loose clothing over tight clothes / i have one or two piercings / i have at least one tattoo / i have blue eyes / i have dyed or highlighted my hair / i have or have had braces / i have freckles / i paint my nails / i typically wear makeup / i don’t often smile / resting bitch face / i play sports / i play an instrument / i know more than one language / i can cook or bake / i like writing / i like to read / i can multitask / i’ve never dated anyone / i have a best friend i’ve known for over five years / i am an only child

no pressure tags for @static-radio-ao3 @inevitablestars @itsjaywalkers @carniferous @orbitfalls @transsexualpriest @futurequibblerjournalist <333

#i'm like 5'7 i think. fun fact i used to wear glasses when i was like 11 bc all my friends were getting glasses and i wanted some too so i #lied to my optician. lol good times. don't actually need glasses tho soooo. #this is me coming out as a natural blonde guys….. like my hair hasn’t been blonde in a good year or so and it hasn’t been my natural blonde #in like three/four years but still in my heart of hearts i identify as a blonde. like i get confused when people don't count me as one #i have my ears and nose pierced and i would love a tattoo but unfortunately i have both a fear of needles and commitment issues so. #not sure if that’ll ever happen… would be very hot and sexy tho. also i'm one of those freaks with green eyes lol it's appaza quite rare #my hair is currently like dark dark brown… have been getting the itch to dye it again tho like a kinda reddish colour idk yet we’ll see #i had braces for AAGES. i have freckles in the summer and i paint my nails whenever i remember to. rn they’re a very chipped lilac colour #i think i have a resting bitch face but i can never tell tbf like it might be more of a resting 'dead to the world' face lmao #okay technically i don’t play an instrument anymore! but in the past i’ve dabbled with the cello the oboe and the xylophone. singing too #spanish and italian baybee although ig if this means like fluently then that’s not me but this is literally my degree it’s my whole brand #yes i like to read but also the only things ive read in like the last few months have been either books in spanish/italian for my degree #literary criticism for said span/ital books and… fanfic. so. also i like writing but it's my worst enemy rn the thoughts aren't working :( #i have many best friends that i’ve known for years!!!! in fact i've known some of my friends for like my entire life it's very cute #okay sorry for rambling i can never help myself and i also literally could go on icl like there was Some restraint applied here #kara lore #bc there's quite a lot of it in this one lol #tag games

[todayisafridaynight]

would it be okay if u told me why u like aoki😭/gen😭😭😭😭BEEN TRYNA LIKE HIM FOR SO LONG I JUST CANTT but i love ur art so much so i still consume it otherwise lol

i liked tohru adachi in high school and tbh i think that alone is enough of an explanation for why i ended up liking aoki

#snap chats #haha see i told you last post's tags were relevant #anyway vLKVJEVLKAEJVLKJ IM CRYING ANON youre so funny. this is the funniest ask i coulda got thank you so much #i dont know why i like him either <- yes i do #fine lets get Real Talk about it #well first off all i thought he looked hot rolling out the elevator and i was playing the eng dub and i think his voice sounds hot there #and thats like. not athing that happens to me ever <- literally thought sawashiro was hot two frames into the game but anyway #i like politician characters. or characters that are in a position of power ESPECIALLY if they have to act like they dont suck balls #like i very much love the idea of the power of charisma and that type of thing not to mention the 'strategizing' as aoki puts it #that comes with politics. LIKE HE SUCKS DONT GET IT TWISTED HE SUCKS BUT //shrug emoji// #like its why i love the mine rggo stories i like seeing mine's thought process and how he uses his intelligence #smart's sexy to me idk what to tell you but moving on #its fun watching him lose his cool too ESP IN HIS FIGHT LMAO HE STOMPIN HIS FOOT LIKE A TODDLER SHUT UP #i also really love the arakawa family in general and thinking of aoki's relationship with each of them makes my brain explode #especially him and sawashiro that shit is painful to watch and i love it so much #i also thought him going from goth to republican was the funniest shit in the world like i howled at that AND i was distraught #aokis so interesting to me from the notion that he IS loved by his family but he has so much hatred for himself it eats him up #and as a result he cant be happy no matter what he does- how hes constantly seeking validation even if it's nothing meaningful #his lil. Dog-Eat-Dog world world belief to ichi also appealed to my edgy depressed high schooler brain. sorry. #his speech at the lockers also got to me. unfortunately. sorry everyone i empathized too hard it got too real it wasnt funny anymore #like as much as i complain bout the very end the ending is what solidified me liking aoki if not also cause of ichi's impact in those scene #plus... analyzing him and the environment around him is so much fun too.... #idk reasons for why i like aoki also boil down to personal reasons. he still sucks tho so i cant be upset when people hate him LOL #i probably have more reasons or could elaborate more i love rambling but i mean. who really wants to read all that 💀💀 #maybe for a character that WASNT the worst but. aoki is so LMAO #thank you for loving my art regardless :) im sorry i have to be attached to the worst guys ever

[thegreenleavesofspring]

.

#So I'm putting all this in tags because I'd prefer it not get out into wider Tumblr. I pondered even posting it but I think some of y'all #are following the drama and/or praying for my family so I figured I'd post an update. Just pretend there are commas and it's all readable. #Got a hearing date today. February 6th. Now I need to get affidavits and medical records. Not much to do in the way of affidavits because #either he made sure no one saw anything or I made sure. (Shame is a heckuva thing.) I really need the medical records from the assault. #Can't get them because I am currently without ID. I am currently without ID because I have had a beginner's permit for ~10 years now and #those have to be renewed in-person every year. Can't get to DMV to get it renewed because... no car. Can't use Uber because you have to #provide your own car seats and where am I going to put three car seats while I'm at the DMV? Can't use bus because... bus lines. #...it's stressful. #Also I'm still not sure about the theology of all this but it's also impossible not to see the Hand of God in freeing me and the boys from #this man so either God will help me work out the theology of it later or I'll ask Him when I get to Heaven. #Practically speaking I will not ever permit him and the boys unsupervised contact again if I can help it because he WILL neglect them #at best and physically hurt them for his own amusement and/or beat them up because of his temper at worst. #...anyway any and all prayers are appreciated.

[dutybcrne]

Me BSing hcs like: The fact that Kae is not only able to create a shield when he is dangerously low HP but also the fact that he is able to regenerate HP when he hits opponents with Frostgnaw is definitely due to him receiving his Vision when Diluc had tried to kill him in their Confrontation...but could it be possible that his familial ties to the Abyss Order could have influenced that HP drain of his-

#//And that's without mentioning the fact that Glacial Waltz's duration increases FOR EVERY OPPONENT DEFEATED #//Between that and his lil teleporting trick like an Abyss mage's (minus the flurries of ice); I have SO many thinkings #//Deffo love the abilities of his being an amalgam of Vision based and Abyssal energy imbued #//Deffo love that fact meaning it hurts a bit to use his Vision at all; esp with the teleporting being such a Staple to his combat style #☆ ┆ ( .ooc. ); #//Sidetracking a bit; but I also like to think that even after the Abyss is defeated/beaten back enough to not be such a threat; he'd still #keep his abilities from it/some connection to it. Bc he's so used to it being such a big PART of his fighting style/assets to use in a pinc #//But also bc keeping that connection means it'd help him keep track of any remnants of the Order far easier #//He could track them down with far more ease; sense if they are growing stronger; get intel from Domains/abyssal traces #//Of course being very mindful to keep it a secret & trying to not involve his loved ones/fellow knights of it all #//But he very much is careful esp bc of risks of him being corrupted by it; keeping a keen eye on his mental/physical/emotional states #//Deffo has plans to leave Mond and/or end his own life if he starts seeing the Abyssal corruption affecting him irreversibly #suicide mention tw #//Kind of but also kind of not; considering some of the ways how he'd go abt it #//Knows it'd be harder to the further it goes; so he has particular criteria he keeps tracks of to ensure if they come to pass #//he; in a clearer state of mind; would either 1) use his Vision to try & purge the energy out of himself (extremely painful; COULD kill #if the corruption runs deep enough & save him the trouble) or 2) use the aggressiveness of the corruption to provoke someone (esp Luc) #into taking care of him &thus ending the problem all together. Bc he KNOWS he's strong; only a handful of beings could actually kill him #//& actually be WILLING to; without hesitation. Luc comes to mind first bc of their Confrontation. But also bc Kae'd be happy w him being #the last person he ever sees. Thinks it'd be comforting more than anyone else. Esp since a lover would just break his heart to see them #//Worst case scenario is him falling to the corruption & sb breaking it out of him in the moment #//Bc the Instant he realizes what's happening; esp if they are crying and/or angered at him; he WILL fatally wound himself #//And make SURE it's not something he can come back from; save by a miracle (or 'curse' as he'd see it) #//Probably making an icicle and slitting his own throat; if not jamming the thing into his heart #//he won't hesitate; wont offer explanations; final words or apologies; he cant risk that moment of clarity being too short for it #//he HAS to make sure he can't hurt anyone any further; no matter what it means for him #//Which is partly why he'd be so keen to make sure it's not found out; bc he KNOWS he can be talked out of keeping those abilities #//Or worse; he'd fight them on it; and thus make for a fucken MESS in the aftermath if he's been too far along in the corruption #//But he KNOWS that even with the risks; the powers are a VALUABLE asset to him; &thus desperately wants to keep them #//'sidetracking a bit'; I said. Proceed to write a wHOLE FUCKEN NEW HC IN TAGS; I did; kjfbgkftg. Whoops lmao

[toxifoxx]

🥴🥴🥴

#i love living in a miserable awful world #you will see every awful thing going on #you will read about how things are only getting worse #you will be subjected to misery even when you are offline just because that's the world thats been created for us #why go to college? so i can be in constant debt and get rejected from every job? #why get a job? so i can be dehumanized on the daily and forced to work for the rest of my life? #its not like it matters. i will never be able to afford a house nor function like a normal human being #there will be no joy or hope. and what kind of life is that #if it is one at all? #there is no community for me in the real world i can already barely even talk to people on the Internet #i only have online friends #my only skills and talents are those that would be hell to monetize and suck all the fun out #i mean. i cant ever have a family either. #i despise school #all that keeps me going is cowardice and the price tag thats now attached to my life #on the bright side at least i could do it once i earn about 7k #on the other hand i dont want to #i want to keep going #i dont know why anymore #im lazy man i dont have any motivations or passions all i ever want to fucking do is draw and play video games #i dont want a job dont want to go to college cant make friends and cant have a family or happy life so #really whats left for me?

[elenadoeslife]

your first love hits different

#another day another vent-in-the-tags post #i came across a picture of me and my fiest boyfriend of five years today. picture must've been 10 years old at this point #found many more pictures of him and us on my dad's old pc #i can just feel my body pull and heart ache when i look at him in the pictures #wondering what my life would've looked like if i hadn't broken things off between us #we tried to stay friends and a couple of months later we went for a drink. when daying goodbye he moved in to kiss me #i was hesitant and stepped away. he couldn't bare having me in his life while not being together so he cut off all contact #don't get me wrong in any of my thoughts- i love babe whole heartedly and he's the only man for me now and in my future #it's just that nagging feeling burried deep. the 'what if's. what if i felt more confident about my body back then? #what if i hadn't moved on so quickly? what if i had let him kiss me? #i tried texting him telling him i was approved for gbp surgery (i broke things off because i was very insecure about my body) #he congratulated me and sincerely wished me all the happiness in the world but also asked me not to contact him again after this #it's been 7-ish years but every now and then i wonder how he's doing and what he's up to #he doesn't really have social media apart from facebook (and that page is private) and i only stayed in touch with his former best friend #but i'm not gonna ask him because i know they haven't spoken in years either #i've had plenty more relationships after him but i rarely ever think about those guys #am i okay? is this normal? lol #i should get my head out of this rabbit hole asap #add: the picture is almost 15 years old lol. my math ain't mathing. we met in 2009. not that it's important #i think i just moved on too quickly and didn't allow myself time & space to grieve. that's why he keeps popping up in my thoughts now & then

[maskyartist]

*grips my pen violently trying to do lineart* dont make another brozone au dont do it dont make it based off persona shadows DONT-

(more ranting about it in the tags cause if i did it here we'd be lookin at paragraphs of text and that aint the vibe today)

#masky says #trolls dreamworks #i am plagued by visions umu tragic i know #think p4 rather then like p5 or smth #only instead of some secret dimension maybe its like a mirror they find somewhere?? #brings out their truest selves??? #either way i love the mental image of shadow JD grabbing himself and just screaming 'YOU WISH YOU WERE DEAD! ADMIT IT!' #or shadow Clay laughing at himself and telling him so easily that 'you WISH you were me! everyone LOVES the fun boy no one wanted YOU!' #bruce staring at a reflection of his insecurities just such a sad shadow constantly beating himself up for being too big and too dramatic #too 'himself' you could say #floyd having to handle his shadow parroting all those nasty thoughts hes had about his solo career #about his career in and out of the band. if hes useful. if hes worth any trouble after all his bros had to do for him. #and then theres branch...who is ABSOLUTELY like a final boss here he is TROUBLED #hes got ISSUES i cant even put it all in the tags here we'd be here all day #but listen. listen its the way he'd switch between being the lil kid everyone left behind feeling pathetic and sad for himself- #-and his grey self from way back when who still holds resentment for no one ever believing him #and then himself NOW who just feels so...lost now that he has 'everything' he wanted. #what does he do now? #maybe later....another day another day >3> #just love the idea of the bros havin some sorta fight about it around the mirror-gem-things (im thinkin that cave from pkmn X) #(yknow the one that had the reflecting walls???? thats the vibe here mystic and a lil spooky) #anyways t hey get back to the village around dark and people are NOT happy with them >3> #apparently the brothers have been causing trouble or being nuisances all day #and thats when they eventually stumble across the Shadows just dickin around as their 'truest selves' :) #sorry im done now but yall are gonna be plagued if im plagued

[killuaisaprincess]

reminder GONKI IS MORE CANON 😤😏 so anytime some kg person tries to send hate at you remember it’s just cuz they’re big mad Gonki more canon eheheh 😘🤭

#IS WHY I WONT LET ANY LOSER GET ME DOWN 😤 #I KNOW ITS JUST CUZ THEY ARE BIG MAD THE DIRECTOR CALLED KI WIFE AND KIS VA TAGS STUFF GONKI EHEHEH 😘🥰 #Naturally sadly on the west side there’s wayyyy more kg people so I don’t mean alll of them obvi but please #on twitter- I mean x #I am like the sole person in the English gonkillu tag mostly #And these kg fans got big mad when there was dare an artist in there for a while who was popular and used gonki tag #LIKE HOW DARE THEY LOL #Losers got so mad over a tag that has hardly anything in it #SO DONT LET ANY OF THEM DRAG YOU DOWN #Most the time they’re hypocrites and losers #AND I WONT LET ANY OF THEM EVER STOP ME #🤧😤🥰 #Honestly they’re free to hate it like I hate kg but the fact they go to bully an artist the moment they dare to use the gonki tag is not #Acceptable #That tag isn’t there for you #Its for us few #ANYWAY ILL ALWAYS STAND MY GROUND FOR THE GONKIS #And trust me this is no lie I’ve been harassed ive seen people leave that were gonkis I have even had friends! #open gonki people tell me they are scared to post #LIKE WHAT YOU WANNA BUT LEAVE US ALONE #And no none of them can use the excuse of “heteronormative” or whatever else they want to get away with bullying #ESP NOT WHEN THEY WILL TURN AROUND AND DO THE SAME TROPES WITH THEIR VER LOL do what you want but do not be a hypocrite to send threats #Its all fiction there’s no need to play purity police god will def let you up into heaven cuz you told me to kill myself for #Having Ki in a dress #NOT LOL! TOO BAD 😤 AND KI IS A PRETTY PRINCESS WHO DESERVES DRESSES 😤 PERIOD #I’m sure there’s been a few rotten gk people I don’t accept them as my kin either but from the few of us I do know #We’re never gone to the kg tags or go to those people’s posts and fics LIKE WHY WOULD I EVEN WANNA SEE STUFF I HATE IT DOESNT MAKE SENSE #AND YES I HAVE TWO FOLLOWERS AND NO I HAVE NO ISSUE SPEAKING OUT ESP WHEN PEOPLE I KNOW GET HARASSED SPECIFICALLY BY A KG PERSON #I WILL GIVE US A PEP TALK 😤 ITS JUST CUZ THEY ARE BIG MAD YOU KEEP DOING YOU GONKI IS CANON 😤

[o-wyrmlight]

Cookie your tags are so good ssjkfdkfhskdjh

Thanks I grew them myself in my garden

#was going to go in a long ramble about how i often wish that like #tumblr replies let you like replies and other social medias let you leave tags #because when you're on twitter or smth you just want to casually say like #'i like x part of this thing :)' or 'oh my god they're gay' but like #you don't want to tweet it. if that makes sense. 'cause the tweet is treated like a whole-ass post #and is it worth saying 'nice' just for that? #where people have to find the context in the post you're replying to? where it might get lost in translation? #but no. tags themselves they are already on the post that i intend them to be by default #i am already reblogging the post #and the tags are always going to be at the bottom of the post #and if i am able to put across the rampant thoughts of my brain i may as well do it #especially because i--as a fellow artist--do genuinely love when people go wild in their tags on my stuff :) #plus tumblr is a site that enables going A Little Wild With It so my filters are very much loosened #and that doesn't hurt matters either because adhd #tags are funny i like them. more people should use them i think #it's like you're whispering something secret to the op that only you the op your followers and anyone who happens to find you in the notes #will ever really read. it's so Optional it's great #anyways. i love that tumblr decided it'd be a fun practical joke to just #log me out while i was writing those tags. that is so funny. april 1st came early

[akagamiko]

sorry but i’m team hope shanks sends barto’s head in a box to luffy

#also i don't think luffy is going to be easy going about it either if/when he finds out? #have we forgotten drum island and the way he protected hiriluk's flag #and how angry he was that wapol tried to burn it? #like who do we think taught luffy the importance of pirate flags and what they stand for?? #shanks is easy going but the man has his limits #and burning his flag is not the same as throwing a drink on him #so why would he be okay with one of luffy's guys burning his flag and disrespecting #not only him #but his crew #and his territories #and ALL of the people in them #and everything he's ever done since forming his own crew #i know he helped after wano but that was clearly just a power flex for (what i assume) is us the readers #and the film red promo #luffy and the others were there and ready to step in #if luffy gets in trouble it is his crew's job to help him not shanks' #but luffy is a captain with his own crew and it's his job to keep those people in check #and frankly i don't think shanks WOULD step in if luffy's life were legitimately in danger #obviously i know this would never happen in canon bc that's pretty dark #but it SHOULD #also remember seeing recently that the rhp calling shanks 'boss' is akin to like...a mafia boss/don #and i watched the godfather for the first time and need more of mafia boss shanks in my life #ANYWAY #sometimes i see things in the tags that send me spiraling #and shanks meeting barto and just hanging out with once he realizes the connection is one of them #he's gonna meet up with barto realize the connection with luffy and respond even MORE harshly bc of his connection with luffy #me @ oda: do not blow this for me #OOC. #so many thoughts #let shanks kill a fan fave and also show how he doesn't give passes xoxo

[the-yearning-astronaut]

So I just finished patching up a hole in the sleeve of my first Mass Effect jacket and I tried remembering when I first started playing.

And at first I was like. Had to have been 2018. Right?

But I felt like I had this jacket for longer than that.

So I went to my OG blog that's still floating around here, archived, and thank FUCK I've always been a compulsive tagger because I was able to search my posts and scroll for a good 10-15 minutes to find my first mass effect post.

Guys I started playing fall of 2016. 6 years ago.

Somehow that feels like both forever ago and not long enough?

Like it feels like Shepard and the Normandy crew have been with me a lot longer than that.

But. 6 years ago, I was 23. I had just finished my first degree a few months previously. Hell it was pre 2016 elections lmao.

It was an entire lifetime ago. I'm not even close to the same person I was back then. For better or worse.

#mass effect #fox thoughts #its weird because i played the first two games in late 2016 and early 2017 #but i wasn't ever able to play the third because i had the pc games and a laptop that couldn't handle the graphics #(i still have and use that laptop) #i didn't finish the third game until this February #but id been crying over mordin and Shepard and Thane and everyone else for most of the previous 5 years #anyway going through all those old posts made me super nostalgic #i had been tagged by tumblr friends that have since deactivated #i had tagged my friends that were responsible for getting me to play the game in the first place #i dont speak to them anymore either #i went past fanart I had drawn and fanart and fix that had been gifted to me #seeing your old fandoms is so bittersweet

[dying-suffering-french-stalkers]

.

#every day i log on and see ppl making THE stupidest complaints about a.o.3. #just the dumbest vitriol & scaremongering ranging from “taboo subjects exist & i don't WIKE thinking about that :(” to just. outright lies #hey. hey. tags exist so you can filter your squicks out and you never have to see that shit again #and a lot of stuff i see ppl whining about is either a MINISCULE portion of all fic ever or quite possibly NONEXISTENT #but oooo it's got the big scary words and there's nothing ppl love more than using your anger & disgust as a bludgeon #regardless of its veracity or context #this is going to get me crucified probably so this might be a real short-lived post #but lord. shut up in there. learn how to self-regulate your content and emotions and/or log off and go about your life #also learn what words mean and stop applying the big scary words to things that are not those things #yes this is vague hope this helps #anyway. it's been said before but y'all would not survive 2 seconds on ffnet (which is a shame bc there's still great fic on there!)

[absentlyabbie]

*stares vaguely into the middle distance and tries to remember where i left my brain cells*

#aha... ha #i swear i used to be... good with words #and using them to say the things i wanted to get at #seems like the tireder i get the worse i get #and i'm only ever going to get more tired than this #disability like this wears down at your memory like the ocean on a stone til things are alarmingly smooth and featureless #and it's going to get that bad with everything isn't it eventually #like my love of and grasp on words and language #i... didn't think in those tags i was saying redemption was about pain?? #not whining about that specifically so much as broadly how i thought i was saying one thing and... #apparently it came out very something else? #i don't think redemption is about pain either #i think it's about work #and i don't find the work bad #it's uncomfortable and sure definitely gonna be sometimes painful #but it's good and necessary work #rebuilding yourself into a you you can stand to look at is grueling but ultimately worth it just for your own sake #and is that the traumatic childhood christianity shaping the way oi'm trying to say things? #meant to through the lens of 'i have had to do this personally and i've been on the opposite side also' #the worse i get at saying what i mean in a way others can understand #and the more infrequently i have the mental and emotional energy for writing #the more i feel like i'm really starting to lose myself #damn i need to go to bed

[snekdood]

Damn well. One of the clear ways you can tell my ex is bullshitting about me being anywhere near conservative is the fact that i get along well w the left leaning portion of my family vs the right leaning portion whomst i Do Not get along with or interact with

#my gma is probably the most liberal irish old lady you could know #like can we stop pretending sbsjsbnsns #admit that i got into that dumb shit bc i liked the magic part and would have 100% left if i knew what the other shit was implying #there Wasnt. infact. other intentions. #i was literally 14 years old. my biggest intention was to sleep draw and smoke weed. #i did not have the brain capacity or mental capacity or planning ability to have other intentions behind it. #i was paranoid and i wanted to protect myself. im not sure where i got lost tho bc literally nothing ever said anything about jewish ppl #either its as i remember it- and no one mentioned it back then outright- or its always been that way and i somehow blissfully #walked past it interpreting it as something a christian priest would do. #i kinda feel like its as i remember it. krazy how my memory of things is oft correct #anyways hello random person who might be reading these tags. i used to think all those conspiracy theories were about christian #conservatives because loterally HOW DOES IT NOT SOUND LIKE SOMETHING THEYRE FAR MORE LIKELY TO DO. #i just liked the chakras and crystals and aliens n shit but literally its the alien belief that brings you over there AND LET ME BE CLEAR #aliens are prolly real but the conspiracy theories ppl come up w about them sure as fuck arent #regardless. somehow i walked through all of that w/o ever adapting the idea that 'jewish people bad' which seems to be an idea that was #pushed or more obvious later on as the years progressed? #idk. shits wack #idk how i missed that shit but i do think it might be because i avoided any conspiracy theory website that said anything with 'God' in it #all the gs in the page capitalized. i just knew i couldnt trust it then. youd think i wouldve noticed something was wrong if i was already #doing that. however. i was also paranoid and i grew up always feeling unsafe bc ppl would bully me and trick me and pick on me n such #which ironically made me more trusting of people? apparently its a thing that happens. #its apparently bc ppl who are too trusting but who are abused or whatever can become even less trusting of themselves and what they know #anyways i shouldnt have to explain every little detail of my life in the tags but oh well #the things i do to not get yelled at for shit i dont believe in unless i #clarify otherwise sdbjsks