#Most the time they’re hypocrites and losers

[killuaisaprincess]

reminder GONKI IS MORE CANON 😤😏 so anytime some kg person tries to send hate at you remember it’s just cuz they’re big mad Gonki more canon eheheh 😘🤭

#IS WHY I WONT LET ANY LOSER GET ME DOWN 😤 #I KNOW ITS JUST CUZ THEY ARE BIG MAD THE DIRECTOR CALLED KI WIFE AND KIS VA TAGS STUFF GONKI EHEHEH 😘🥰 #Naturally sadly on the west side there’s wayyyy more kg people so I don’t mean alll of them obvi but please #on twitter- I mean x #I am like the sole person in the English gonkillu tag mostly #And these kg fans got big mad when there was dare an artist in there for a while who was popular and used gonki tag #LIKE HOW DARE THEY LOL #Losers got so mad over a tag that has hardly anything in it #SO DONT LET ANY OF THEM DRAG YOU DOWN #Most the time they’re hypocrites and losers #AND I WONT LET ANY OF THEM EVER STOP ME #🤧😤🥰 #Honestly they’re free to hate it like I hate kg but the fact they go to bully an artist the moment they dare to use the gonki tag is not #Acceptable #That tag isn’t there for you #Its for us few #ANYWAY ILL ALWAYS STAND MY GROUND FOR THE GONKIS #And trust me this is no lie I’ve been harassed ive seen people leave that were gonkis I have even had friends! #open gonki people tell me they are scared to post #LIKE WHAT YOU WANNA BUT LEAVE US ALONE #And no none of them can use the excuse of “heteronormative” or whatever else they want to get away with bullying #ESP NOT WHEN THEY WILL TURN AROUND AND DO THE SAME TROPES WITH THEIR VER LOL do what you want but do not be a hypocrite to send threats #Its all fiction there’s no need to play purity police god will def let you up into heaven cuz you told me to kill myself for #Having Ki in a dress #NOT LOL! TOO BAD 😤 AND KI IS A PRETTY PRINCESS WHO DESERVES DRESSES 😤 PERIOD #I’m sure there’s been a few rotten gk people I don’t accept them as my kin either but from the few of us I do know #We’re never gone to the kg tags or go to those people’s posts and fics LIKE WHY WOULD I EVEN WANNA SEE STUFF I HATE IT DOESNT MAKE SENSE #AND YES I HAVE TWO FOLLOWERS AND NO I HAVE NO ISSUE SPEAKING OUT ESP WHEN PEOPLE I KNOW GET HARASSED SPECIFICALLY BY A KG PERSON #I WILL GIVE US A PEP TALK 😤 ITS JUST CUZ THEY ARE BIG MAD YOU KEEP DOING YOU GONKI IS CANON 😤

[sixpossumsinatrenchcoat]

Memories of Defeat (pt 4/4)

An In Stars and Time retrospective that revolves around everyone's favorite star. Major "secret ending"/epilogue spoilers below the cut!!

[Start from Part One here.]

Once upon a time, there were two brothers: one made of light, and one made of meat.

The elder brother was capable. Resourceful. He’s the one who had to point the way. Even if he was lost, or exhausted, or hungry and scared and alone, he didn’t have a choice. There was nowhere left for him to go. So he died! He died on purpose!! He’d rather be dead!!! Anything would be better than this!!!!

The younger brother burrowed out of their sibling’s ribcage. They were afraid, too, but they weren’t hungry. How could they be? They were born from a banquet of muscle and bone. Fermented in a womb of fresh-spilled blood.

The younger brother swallowed their elder. They swallowed his liver and his entrails, his heart and lungs and light. Everything good that was ever inside him would be theirs now. Then they wiped their mouth and howled their loneliness into the stars. Why did it have to be like this? What can’t I remember? Why am I so alone???

The night sky looked down and said, Because I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hope you eat shit and die. Die unloved and alone. It’s what you deserve.

But I didn’t do anything wrong! the younger brother wailed, pathetically, and also totally blinding hypocritically because they literally just ate their only kin, like, ten minutes ago. I only wanted to be loved!!!

Cool, the Universe said. Try telling someone who cares.

* * *

There’s no room for Loop in the caravan.

Which is fine. Preferable, even. It’s not as though they’re particularly eager to spend the night two inches away from the nation’s most nauseating lovebirds.

Siffrin insists on pitching a tent for them. That’s fine, too. It’s a free country. Siffrin can do whatever he wants. It doesn’t mean that Loop actually has to sleep there.

(They can’t even look at it. It smells like the past. Like the hole in their chest.)

They sleep on the ground, with a scarf draped over their eyes. They don’t want to look at the stars.

* * *

Loop’s eyes snap open a few minutes before sunrise. There’s someone watching them.

“You’re not sneaky,” they announce, without looking up. “I’m not one of your oblivious little friends. You can’t hide from me. I’m better at it, anyway.”

“Maybe I wasn’t trying to.”

“You know it’s pointless trying to lie to me.”

“…Yeah.”

Loop rolls their eyes. He’s the one who won, isn’t he? So why does he always go around acting like a sopping wet cat left out in the rain? “What do you want, stardust.”

“I’m deciding if I have to give you our cloak,” Siffrin admits.

That gets their attention. Loop sits up, intrigued.

Siffrin tucks their chin behind their collar. “It seems maybe… right? Um. Morally. But I really don’t want to.”

“Aww, stardust. You think I want that ratty old thing?”

“Of course.”

…Of course.

Loop smiles sunnily. “I bet you think I’m going to say something like, Ohh, you don’t have to do that. It’s the thought that counts! That you even considered it is more than enough for me!”

Siffrin looks hopeful. Stupid little beast. How were a hundred bloody deaths still not enough to wring all the optimism out of them?

“Well, maybe I won’t! We don’t all find you so charming, you know. Maybe I do want it! It was mine first!”

Siffrin’s face scrunches miserably. As they reach for the clasp that holds their collar shut, the first gleam of dawn catches on a silver coin, still pinned to their lapel.

…Ugh. “It’s fine, okay? It’s not even my style anymore. Anyway, I got to keep both our eyes, so. Who’s the loser here, really?”

Siffrin opens their mouth.

“If you answer that, I’m taking the cloak just so I can throw it in the river.”

Siffrin closes their mouth. But they don’t walk away. They just keep standing there, staring.

“Stars, what?” Loop demands. “Have you got some more restitutions for me? Going to give me your other eye?”

Siffrin shakes his head. “It’s just, um. Loop.”

“What?”

“No, I mean the name. ‘Loop.’ Are you sure that’s what you want?”

“Stars, it’s one thing after another with you! Talk about intrusive! Do you do this with all your little friends, or it just me you can’t trust to make a single blinding decision for myself?”

Siffrin scuffs the heel of their boot through the dirt. “It just… doesn’t seem fair.”

“Oh, you figured it out, did you!! Ve~ry clever, stardust! It is unfair! Much like everything else in this miserable world! Nothing was ever going to be fair! What do you want me to do about it? Well? Go on! I’d love to hear your brilliant solution!”

Siffrin just keeps standing there, silent.

Loop’s fingernails dig into their palms. “Do you think I should be Siffrin again? Is that it? You think we should both be Siffrin? I’m sure that won’t confuse anyone. When your pet Fighter calls your name and the both of us come running.”

“...It would get confusing.”

“I’m not him anymore, anyway,” Loop spits. “They’re dead. You should know. You’re the one who killed them. And killed them and killed them and killed them and killed them! And—if I can be honest? Good blinding riddance!! You think I liked being you? Being some desperate, needy little freak with no past and no future?” They let out a tinkling laugh. “Get over yourself, stardust. Frankly, I’d rather die.”

“I’m not saying you should be me,” Siffrin says quietly. “I just mean… Loop, specifically. It doesn’t seem a little… masochistic?”

Loop blinks at them.

“I know you’re not me,” Siffrin says again. “Or even the me you used to be. But you’re not the loops, either. They’re just—something that happened to us.”

Loop rolls their eyes. “You escape one time loop and suddenly you’re a qualified therapist?”

“Do you really like it, though?”

…Well. Well of course they don’t blinding like it. But it’s fitting, isn’t it? It’s funny, isn’t it? Just like them!! Soooo~ funny!!!

“…Loop?”

“I don’t like it,” Loop hisses. “But. It’s… not as though I like anything else. And it’s. Familiar.”

Siffrin nods. Even he can understand that much. This world’s Siffrin may have had it easy—like, really, ridiculously, embarrassingly easy—but both of them went years without finding anything familiar. “Okay. If you’re sure.”

“I am.”

“And you know you can change your mind.”

“Hard as it may be to believe, I am, in fact, fully capable of thinking for myself! But thanks ever so much for trying to dictate another aspect of my life! I was starting to worry that I might actually have to be a real person!”

Siffrin frowns. “You’re a real person.”

“Oh, for Stars— Haven’t you done enough? I’m exhausted. You’re exhausting.” They flop back in their bedroll, draping the scarf back over their eyes. “Just leave me alone, stardust. It’s what you do best.”

[You dreamed that you were drowning. Even now, you still can’t catch your breath.]

There’s an old fairytale, back in (don’t think it DON’T THINK IT IT HURTS) about the saddest man in the world. He’s so miserable, so totally consumed by his hurt that he can’t even talk about it, because no one would ever understand. He is utterly alone in his grief.

So the world’s saddest man makes a wish. He wishes for a copy of himself! Someone else, someone new, who might reflect the emptiness inside him.

But the copy is too good. Much, much better than the man ever was. There’s no bitterness inside it because, for as long as it’s lived, it’s always had him. It never had to learn how it feels to be alone.

The man hates it. He hates it. He can't stand to see it walking around, smiling and laughing and failing and trying. So he lures it back into his study. He gives it a smile. He opens his arms.

It’s still smiling at him, trusting, when he drives the knife into its chest.

The man drinks the light from its veins and swallows the wish in its heart. He leaves it empty empty empty. And do you know what?? In the end, when he’s left shuddering in a puddle of blood and spattered viscera, nothing has changed!! There’s nothing different at all!!! He still isn’t any less alone!!!!!

*

* *

* * *

The morning after the party sets out from Bambouche, Loop wakes up to find Bonnie standing over them.

“How come you don’t glow anymore?” they ask bluntly.

Loop blinks. “Oh. Um. W-Well, it was wreaking havoc on my beauty sleep. Looking this good doesn’t come cheap, you know! It’s practically a full-time job!”

“But how? What happened to your sparkles?”

“They… washed off?” It is sort-of true. For a while after Siffrin set them free, Loop wasn’t anywhere at all. When they finally gasped awake, they were neck-deep in the same black, frigid water that carried them to Vaugaurde, all those years ago. Except this world’s Siffrin already took the boat. Loop had to claw their way to shore with their own two hands.

Bonnie looks disappointed. What else is new? Water is wet and Loop is disappointing. “That sucks. It was cool. But I guess it’s good you can sleep now. Being tired sucks too.”

Loop’s mouth ticks up. “I’ll tell you a secret,” they find themself saying. “But only if you won’t tell Siffrin.”

“DEAL.”

“You promise?”

“Yeah!!”

“Super promise?”

“Of course!!!!”

“Super duper promise?”

Bonnie flaps their arms. “You gotta tell me right now or I’m gonna explode!!!!!”

Loop looks left and right, conspiratorial, before beckoning them close enough to whisper in their ear. “...I can still glow a little.”

“What!!!!!”

“Shh!!”

“Ahem!” Boniface clears their throat. “Ahem, hem. Of course what I meant was: forsooth, how doth you, um. Glow?”

Wow, they really have been going to school. Loop’s mouth ticks up. They might not be the real Boniface, but they’re still way too cute. “Okayyyy, okay. You wore me down! I can’t hold out any longer! I have no choice but to confess!”

“Yeah,” Bonnie agrees, scowling fiercely.

“Okay, check this out.” Loop scoops a fistful of dust from the ground beside their bedroll and holds it in front of their nose. Their eyes scrunch. Their face puckers—

—and they sneeze a spray of sparks into their palm.

Bonnie’s eyes light up. “What!! What!!!! You sneeze light?????”

“Not always,” Loop explains. They still don’t really understand why it happens. It’s not as though the Universe ever deigned to explain. “And don’t tell anyone! It’s our secret, okay?”

“But why!!! It’s cool!!!!!”

“Haha, well. Sometimes people don’t like things that are cool.”

“But it’s shiny!!!!”

Loop smiles wryly. “Sometimes people don’t even like things that are shiny.”

Bonnie’s shoulders sag a little. “But that’s… That stinks.”

(Do NOT make Bonnie sad.) “Oh, no, i-it’s not bad! It’s, um, cool! Like having superpowers! Or a secret identity or something!”

“It is bad!” Bonnie snaps back at them. “People are so stupid!! I think your sparks are cool!!!”

For a second, Loop almost forgets to laugh. “Haha! Well, I commend your exemplary taste. But there’s no need to worry about me, Bonb– Boniface. I’m doing just fine!”

Bonnie frowns at them. “Frin says that sometimes.”

The nickname nearly knocks the smile off their face. “...Is that right.”

“But usually only when they’re not.”

“Well. I wouldn’t think too hard about it. Siffrin is pretty stupid.”

“You’re his friend, though.”

(…Are they?) “Of course!”

“So maybe you’re stupid too.”

Loop chokes on a laugh. “Has anyone ever told you that you’re sort of scary-smart?”

“No,” Bonnie says promptly. “Mostly they say I have learning disabrilties. ‘Cause my brain is bad at words.”

“Well,” Loop tells them, confidential. “Don’t tell your sister, but between you and me… I think the people who say that might be even stupider than me.”

“Pffft— You can’t say that about teachers!! They’re in charge!!!”

“Not of me, they’re not.”

Bonnie stares for a second before breaking into a radiant, gap-toothed smile. “You’re cool, Loop.”

“I— Ah?” For the first time in several lifetimes, Loop finds themself at a loss for words.

“It’s okay!” Bonnie says generously. “Frin doesn’t know what to do when people are nice to them either. You don’t hafta say anything. You can just know you’re cool and not even say anything.”

Not as cool as YOU! That’s what they could have said. But of course it’s always already too late. “Um…”

“I’ll leave you alone!!” Bonnie shouts in their face. “Cause Nille says I’m bossy which is a strenth but sometimes means I have to give people space so they can decide if they wanna keep hanging out or not! But I’m glad you came back!! ‘Cause Frin and Za are all gross and lame now, so it’s cool to have someone cool!!”

“H-Haha. Well. I’ll… try to meet your expectations?”

“You don’t hafta worry ‘bout that,” Bonnie scoffs. “You already sneezed glitter.”

* * *

When the party meets Madame Odile at the crossing, she looks at Loop very, very closely. She shakes their hand politely enough. But she doesn’t approach them directly until later, after the Fighter’s already turned in for the night and Boniface is fast asleep.

“Loop,” she greets them. “I wasn’t sure you’d want to discuss it in front of everyone, but I wanted to tell you that I’m very glad to see you again. I’d been hoping for a chance to give you my thanks. I know I was a bit, ah, preoccupied when last we met… But it seems we owe you a great debt. Siffrin’s life, for one. Not to mention the state of our physical world.”

Loop bites back a sigh and readies the usual spiel. Haha, yes, that’s me! Eternally helpful etcetera etcetera! I can see that you’ve noticed the new look; would you believe, it’s actually a very funny story—

“And Siffrin,” Odile says levelly. She doesn’t look away. “It seems we owe you an apology.”

Loop chokes. “Aha? Haha, um… I think you’ve… perhaps… mistaken me for someone? H-Haha, ah… Maybe in your old age, your eyes have finally—“

“She knows,” Sif blurts out, from across the fire. “Sorry. I had to tell her. She’d already mostly figured it out.”

“Not when it might have counted,” Odile says ruefully.

“Which would be….?”

Odile looks at them like they’re stupid. “Obviously, when it still could have saved you.”

OHHHkay. Hahaha, okay!! So they’re just going to talk about that!!! She’s just going to look at them with remorse in her eyes, and regret, like she can actually see them!! Like she thinks it’s not their own blinding fault that everything went—

“…Siffrin?”

“Don’t call me that.” That’s someone else now.

“Of course. I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine.”

She quirks an eyebrow. “Hmh. Well. I think it probably isn’t.”

“What do you know?” S— Loop snaps. “No, let me guess. Because you’re old, you think you must be wise? Well, I do hate to be the one to tell you this, but I’m afraid that’s just not how it works. I would know.”

“Of course,” she says again, backing off. “I’m sorry.”

“You have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“I know.”

“And I don’t want anyone’s apologies. It’s not like there’s anything any of you could have done.”

“Hmh,” she says. Probably thinks she’s being diplomatic. Maybe she would be, if she were talking to someone as stupid as Siffrin.

“And I’m not—” The words lodge in their throat. Loop is seized by the violent urge to take a deep breath, but just thinking about it makes them want to peel their skin off.

They can feel Odile’s eyes on them, assessing. “...What was she like?”

“Wh-What?”

“Me,” she explains. “The one that you knew.”

...Oh. “Different,” Loop admits. “And… the same? You—or. She never figured it out, like you did. But I think maybe she might’ve. If I’d been less—” Weak. Spineless. Pathetic.

“Tch,” Odile scoffs. “Doesn’t matter what she might have done, if she didn’t.”

Loop blinks.

For once in her life, Odile actually looks embarrassed. “Ah. My apologies. I only mean that… I’m sorry that I was so useless.”

She startles when Loop barks a laugh. “You—haha!!! Hahaha!!!! You’re sorry! For being useless!!! That’s—no, no, it’s very funny!!”

Because their Odile could have been plenty useful, if they hadn’t been such a blinding coward. If they’d trusted her enough to let her in. But they didn’t, and now the Odile that Loop loved is gone. She needed them and S— Loop couldn’t take the heat. They gave up. They left her behind.

“I’m not sure I get the joke,” Odile says quietly.

“Well! It’s not exactly your strong suit, is it!”

Madame Odile studies their face, frowning. Then, disconcertingly, her gaze flicks toward Siffrin.

“Don’t look at them,” Loop snarls. Instinct thuds in their ears, take it back take it back TAKE IT BACK—

—but they won’t. What would be the point?

“Did you think we’d be the same?” they ask, sneering. Contempt dripping from every word like blood from the tip of a blade. “That you’d have one more cute little Siffrin tiptoeing around, hiding and crying and lying to people? Well! I’m ever so sorry to disappoint, but I think you’ll find otherwise. Oh, but don't get the wrong idea! It's not just me, teehee! We're both soooo~ much worse than you think."

“…Is that right.”

In another life, Loop let the King squeeze Bonnie into bloody pulp. They let the King throw Mira around like a ragdoll. They lied and lied and lied till they were sick with it, till their throat scorched black and their tongue dripped silver. They smiled and let her die and die and die.

“It really is!” They flash a bright, brittle smile. “How many times do you think I let you die, Madame? Would you like to take a guess?”

“I would not.”

“Too easy? I’ll try another, then. How many times do you think I killed you?”

She doesn’t flinch. Every muscle in her body deliberately Doesn’t Flinch. “...Loop.”

“Madame~?”

“I like your jewelry.”

“I—um?”

“Did you make it yourself?”

“I… did, yes.” When Loop finally clawed their way out of the sea, they had every intention of lying there until they died. But it wasn’t long before they were found. Apparently they’d washed ashore just a stone’s throw from a beachcomber’s hut: an artisan whose dilapidated hovel glittered with gleaming fusions of glass and stone and rusted steel.

Loop’s savior never spoke. Maybe they couldn’t. But their quick, clever hands could turn the ugliest, most disintegrating flotsam into inimitable treasures.

“Impressive.” Madame Odile says coolly, nodding. “Siffrin never had the knack for that sort of thing. Carving wood with physical tools is one thing, but mixing media? And across different Craft types, no less? That’s very advanced Crafting.”

“I—ah? Or, I mean… it’s not like it’s hard…”

“You may just have the knack,” Odile informs them. “Not everyone does. It’s a valuable skill, nonetheless.”

“R-Right.”

Madame Odile yawns. “Forgive me. I’m too old to be up this late. But I’ll see you tomorrow, I expect. And, ah—I suspect you don’t care to hear this sort of thing, but—I really am grateful. Truly.”

And before they can even begin to consider their reply, she’s vanished into her tent.

*

* *

* * *

Have you heard this one before? A Traveler walks into a House. Says, Housemaiden, I'm depressed. I can't find the joy in anything. I can't connect with people. I can’t feel ANYTHING. I can't eat, I can't sleep. No, I mean, literally, it’s been eons since I slept. The insides of my eyelids are brighter than the sun. It’s like a fireworks show in here.

Housemaiden says, You should talk to the Savior of Vaugarde. They’re soooo cute and special and pretty and perfect and everyone loves them no matter how many times they ruin everything by being a stupid little freak who can’t even talk right. I bet they could give you some advice!

The Traveler puts their head in their hands and laughs and laughs and laughs and laughs and laughs. Says, But Housemaiden! I -am- the Savior of Vaugarde!!!!

Aaa~nyway, they kill her and eat her heart. And would you believe? It doesn’t make them feel anything!!!!!!

[you’re fine you’re fine you’re fine you’re—]

—fine. You’re totally fine. It’s a clear, bright morning, the breeze brisk and playful, and walking into Dormont doesn’t make you feel sick. The smell of flowers and pastries and juniper doesn’t make you want to vomit. The spiraled roof and crenelled towers of the House don’t turn your breakfast to stone in your stomach. Looking down the path through the trees doesn’t make you want to pull your spine out through your mouth. You’re fine.

Why wouldn’t you be? Just because you abandoned this place? Just because it killed you? No. No. You’re toooo~tally fine. You’re being so normal about this.

A few steps from the House’s gate, Siffrin jerks his hand out of the Fighter’s and throws up. Pathetic. You step into their line of sight to make sure they can see you roll your eyes. They were always soooo~ sensitive.

* * *

Siffrin refuses to enter the House, because they’re a delicate flower who insists on making their damage everyone else’s problem. Loop, of course, never had that privilege.

* * *

“Ugh!” Mirabelle huffs, scowling down at her pottery wheel. “I’ve ruined it again! Siffrin, would you—”

She stops short.

“I-I’m so sorry!!” she squeaks, one hand flying to her mouth. “I meant Loop, of course!! Sorry!! That was so rude; I promise I wasn’t thinking of someone else, it’s just that you… remind me of them, sometimes? N-Not because you’re from the same country! The King was, too, and he felt very very different!! The two of you just… feel sort of similar, is all. The way you take up space, and… the things that catch your eye… It’s almost like you’re—” She shakes her head vigorously. “Ohh, never mind!! I know it doesn’t make any sense!! ”

To Loop’s horror, they can feel their eyes start to itch. Oh, Stars. It’s the worst thing imaginable. They absolutely cannot cry.

“Oh, no, I didn’t mean— I-I’m so sorry!!!” Mira’s hands flit toward them before landing in her lap. “I shouldn’t have said anything; I didn’t mean to make things even worse, I— Do you want a, a… cup of tea? Or some cookies?”

Don’t worry! Loop tries to tell her. I’m completely fine, haha! No problems here! I’m probably just allergic to ceramics!!!! Unfortunately, the best they can manage is, “No Thank You.”

“I—!!” Mirabelle squares her jaw, both hands clenching in the fabric of her skirt. “Loop. Is there, maybe, some way I can help you? I know you don’t think much of us, but we owe you so much!!”

Loop looks away. “You… think I don’t think much of you.”

“Oh. W-Well, um. We… never saw you again, after you helped us save Siffrin. And they’d go quiet anytime we tried to ask about you, so I—I wasn’t sure if—”

“Mira,” Loop says. They take a moment to collect their thoughts. “...Mirabelle.”

“Y-Yes?”

“That’s not a very reliable gauge for what someone thinks of you.”

Mira’s eyes widen.

“For all you know, I might’ve thought the world of you,” they go on, uncharacteristically reckless. “Anyone might. People disappear all the time! They hide, or they die, or they… go somewhere else. It doesn’t mean they never cared. It only means that they cared about something else, too. Or they cared a little too much. Or they’re dead, teehee!”

Mirabelle pulls out a handkerchief and dabs at her nose. “I-I’m sorry… I know you’re only here for our sakes, and now I’m being nothing but trouble…”

Um. What? “I’m here for what?”

“W-Well, um… I guess I thought you’d come to visit because Siffrin told you how upset we were, after you disappeared? Because you saved us—saved everyone—and then we couldn’t even thank you?”

“…What?”

Mira blinks at them, her disorientation mirroring their own. “Which part are you confused by…?”

For the first time in several eternities, Loop lifts a hand to their chest. They take a deep breath in, and out. “H-Haha. I guess, all of it? I certainly didn’t save anyone. Much less everyone.”

“But you did!!!”

“Uh…”

Mira’s eyes widen. “Ohhh,” she gasps, “I see. You don’t like that, do you?”

“—Um?”

“People giving you compliments and things. Praising the things you accomplished, as though you were some sort of storybook hero. When you know that what happened was much less heroic, and much more… accidental. Embarrassing.”

Oh. Huh. Loop had never thought about it in so many words. Probably because no one's ever tried to give them a compliment. But now that she mentions it... yeah. Maybe they can sort of relate.

“I’m sorry,” Mira says again, looking despondent. She slaps both palms against her cheeks. “Sorry!! I won’t do it again!! You just want to feel normal, right? So let’s—let’s Craft some clay!”

“If you’re sure,” Loop says faintly. (Calm down. You’re freaking her out. For once in your life just BE NORMAL.) “…But don’t take it personally if I turn out to be pretty good at this. I have it on high authority that I may have something of a knack.”

* * *

They keep it together for the rest of the afternoon. They finish Crafting their vase and help Mirabelle patch the weak points on hers, smoothing rough edges and pressing air pockets so it won’t shatter in the kiln.

They make it all the way to the bathroom before their smile drops.

The bathroom’s undergone some renovations since the last time they broke down here. Now tiny clay figures dance over the sink, and childish painted murals adorn the doors. A little Change God stands guard over each stall: waving its clumsy arms, kicking its stumpy legs. Its eyes are obscured, its expression unreadable. Its face is laughing. Leering. Mocking. What does it see when it looks at them? A memory? A means to an end? Or only a ghost?

Loop reaches out and takes it in their hands. The Craft that animates it makes it squirm like a worm on a hook. Loop doesn’t pity it. It’s only fair. The Change God never pitied them, either.

“Was it fun?” they whisper, as they squeeze. “Did you have fun? What about now? Are you having fun yet?”

Wet clay oozes between their fingers. The statue twitches and jerks. Loop’s chest feels hot. Their skull hums like a nest of wasps. Lumpy paper swollen with stinging hate.

“I’m having fun,” they tell the wriggling godling, smiling wide. They can’t even tell if they’re lying. To make the distinction, they’d probably need something to compare it to.

The wriggling slows. The heat of Craft fades as the statue goes limp in their hands.

Loop opens their palms. There’s no god there anymore. Only dead, lifeless clay.

They flick open the lock and shoulder through the door.

Outside the stall, there’s someone waiting. Watching. Staring straight at them.

Loop flinches. The stranger looks familiar, but also not. Like maybe Loop’s seen them before, but only in a dream.

—Claude. That’s who it is. Mirabelle’s roommate, Claude. (And who says they don’t have a good memory!)

Claude narrows her eyes. “…Did you just mulch that statue?”

Loop looks down at their hands, crusted with molten clay.

“People work hard on those,” Claude informs them.

Loop has already used up all their willpower for the day. They don’t have the strength to stop themself rolling their eyes. “People work hard on lots of things.”

Her eyebrows go up. “I could report you.”

“Please do,” Loop spits; and in one fluid movement, they’ve whirled around and flung themself out the bathroom window.

They’re three stories up, but they’re not worried about the fall. Worst-case scenario, they’ll drive their blades into the mortar and grind to a halt before they splat on the ground. Best-case, they die on impact.

[You dreamed you were being eaten alive. You can still feel the crunch and grind of tearing cartilage. The way the sinews stretch before they snap.]

Siffrin is fishing by the river. Just looking at the rod in their hands makes Loop want to throw up. They snapped that rod in half once. Tore it out of the fisherperson’s hands and broke it clean over their knee. And then they threw it in the river. And then then jumped in after it.

It’s not just the total futility of it all. It’s the whole process. Catching a thrashing, squirming being in your hands and squeezing the life out of it. Aligning your blade with the seam of its gills, just behind the thrum of its throat. Staring into those gaping eyes, that gulping mouth as you press down hard and harder. Careful, now! If you hit the angle wrong, you’ll miss the artery entirely! It’ll take ages to die! Minutes that stretch into eternities. Gasping, gulping, choking on the hot slick slurry of your own black blood.

Loop shudders. “…I can’t believe you can still touch that thing.”

Siffrin hums thoughtfully. “I think it’s the only thing that never got worse.”

“Ew. Or, I mean. Can’t relate.”

“Well,” Siffrin says. “We were always pretty different.” They flick the rod expertly, sending the fly dancing over the surface. “How’s Mira?”

“She recognized me.”

That gets their attention. “She what?”

“Not specifically,” Loop admits. “But. She said I felt… familiar. Like…” The words lodge in their throat. It doesn’t matter. Siffrin knows what they mean.

“…Hm.”

“Aw,” Loop purrs, mocking. “Does that scare you? Is it scary, to know that you could be so easily replaced?”

“No,” Siffrin says right away. “I guess I feel… relieved?”

(…What?) “Why.”

“I wasn’t sure they’d know me,” Siffrin shrugs. “You, I mean. Us. I wasn’t sure they’d even want to, if we were being… less careful.”

Loop bristles. “I’m more careful than you could ever imagine.”

“No, you’re not.”

Yeah, no, they’re really not.

“So it’s… comforting,” Siffrin shrugs. “To think they’d still like us, even if we were—“

“What? A failure? A ghost? A pathetic piece of work?”

“Well. Yeah.”

Loop squawks a laugh. “Well!! Aren’t you the lucky one!! Even if you wind up as disgusting as me, your friends will still love you! Isn’t that nice!!”

“Yeah,” Siffrin says. “It really is.” They shift their weight, thoughtful, and then seem to remember something. “Oh, yeah. I’ve been meaning to ask you something.”

Loop rolls their eyes, but they don’t not listen.

“Why won’t you talk to Isa?”

Loop fails to suppress a flinch.

“He keeps asking,” Siffrin explains. “And I don’t know how to answer. But it’s getting harder to not-answer. I’m… not a very good liar.”

“…Is that right.”

“I’m an okay liar,” Siffrin concedes. “It just—feels bad.”

Loop is very much aware of that, yes.

“He just wants you to like him,” Siffrin says quietly.

“Be reasonable.”

“It’s hurting his feelings, I think.”

“Good,” Loop says coldly. They hope it does. It doesn’t even come close to evening the score.

Siffrin opens their mouth to argue and then just—shrugs, instead. “It’s your life.”

[You dreamed you were alone. You dreamed you were alone. You dreamed you were alone. You dreamed you were—]

—having a nightmare. You know it’s a nightmare because it’s the same one you have every night. You’re standing under a tree, looking at the man you love. He can’t be more than an armslength away. If you stepped out of the shadows, he would see you.

But he wouldn’t know you.

You watch him think of you. You watch him think of what to say to you. You watch him lose himself to heady daydreams. (This is not a metaphor. Subtlety is not his strong suit. The man you love is very obvious.)

You watch yourself approach him. You are short and strange and awkward. You are hiding and lying and you’re so, so, so-so-so-so stupid. The man you love loves you anyway, because he’s stupid, too.

“Isa!”

“Sif!!!” he shouts, when he sees you. “I was just looking at this Favor Tree!! Isn’t it cool!!!”

“Yeah,” you say slyly. “You might say it’s a pretty… TREE-mendous tree.”

Ha ha!! Ha ha ha!!!!! What a stupid blinding joke!!! It’s almost like your pathetic sense of humor wasn’t what won him in the first place!!! Almost like, all along, he was laughing along because he loved you!!!

Not that it matters now. The tree is in the past. The man is in the past. Your future is in the past. Everything you love was meant for someone else. There’s nothing left for you.

*

* *

* * *

Loop jerks awake. The dark is intractable. Undisturbed by any snore or snuffling wheeze. They are utterly alone.

Siffrin begged them to sleep in the Clocktower with everyone else. They even offered to sleep on the ground so Loop could have a whole bed to themself. But Loop wouldn’t budge. How could they? The thought made them physically sick.

They twist out of their bedroll and onto their feet in one smooth motion. They don’t know where they’re going, but they do know that if they have to lie here, alone with their thoughts, for a single second longer, it is actually going to kill them. So—getting up! Getting moving! One foot in front of the other! If they walk fast enough, maybe they can outrun an eternity of unrelenting dread!!!

They don’t have anywhere to go, so they just—go. They just walk. Anywhere would be better than here.

 * * *

Their feet take them to the Tree. Probably because it’s the closest thing they still have to a home. (And isn’t that just the saddest thing you’ve ever heard!!!!!)

They stand at the foot of the trunk and look up at the canopy. Thick strong boughs and wide, glossy leaves framing little windows to the starry void beyond. Idly, without any real urgency, they imagine setting it on fire. It would be easy. They don’t even need flint or tinder, now that their lungs crackle with swallowed stars. All they’d need is a bit of kindling, some pine cones or dry needles, and they could reduce this place to ash.

—A twig snaps.

Loop’s stance stiffens, then hardens. They know that gait. The slow, careful breath before each heavy clumsy footfall. No one sounds more obvious than a great stupid oaf of a Fighter trying to be discreet.

Maybe he won’t notice them. They could make sure he wouldn’t, if they wanted. Loop knows how to disappear. But they’re tired of going unseen.

“…Can’t sleep?”

The Fighter startles so violently that he nearly keels over backwards. Loop could catch him by the elbow, if they wanted. Steady him; help him catch his balance.

They don’t move.

“W-Woah!!” the Fighter gasps. “Haha, whoa! Um… Loop? That’s you, right? Wow, you are really quiet! I totally didn’t see you there at all!!”

Yes, well, what else is new. “I’d expect nothing less, teehee! You’re not exactly observant.”

“Oh. Haha, um, yeah. I guess not.” Siffrin’s Fighter shifts his weight, uneasy. “ Um… Loop?”

“That’s what they call me!!!”

“Did I… do something wrong?”

Loop stiffens.

“Like… I don’t know. Step on your feelings, somehow? It just feels like you… maybe sort of don’t like me? Which is fine!!” he rushes to clarify. “Not everyone has to like me!! It’s just… if it’s something I did, I could… make sure I don’t do it again?”

Loop almost hits him. They want to. They want to grab him by the collar and shake him. To throw him back against the trunk of the Tree and shove into his space until he can’t not see them. They can see the angry thrum of his pulse in his throat and they want to trap it under their thumb. To close the space and feel his heartrate spike. For months they had to watch themself stand in front of him, wanting and wanting and doing nothing, knowing all the while that if it was them, they wouldn’t just stand there, wanting. They’d take him apart with their hands. They’d eat him alive.

“...Loop?”

“Siffrin,” Loop grates out, an ugly scrape of sound. “Sif. Before I killed myself, that’s what you—all of you used to call me.”

“Wh-What?” the Fighter asks, baffled. “What does that even—”

“But that doesn’t matter now!!!!" Loop shouts, grinning wildly. "He’s dead now!! Now there’s only me!!!!”

“I—I don’t understand. I just saw Sif? Th-They’re totally fine!“

Loop rolls their eyes theatrically. “Ugh. Weren’t you supposed to be smart now? Not your Siffrin, obviously. I obviously meant another Siffrin.”

“But—what? What do you… How would that even work?”

A molten sort of hunger comes over them. Loop flashes a glittering smile. “Isn’t it obvious? ~I’m~ what happens when you don’t save me! When you just let me die!!”

“N-No,” the Fighter mumbles.

“Y-Yeah, actually,” they stammer, mocking. Throwing his pathetic stutter right back in his face.

“No, but… Come on. No way. Sif would’ve said something!”

“Oh, because you can definitely count on Siffrin to tell you anything that matters.”

The Fighter has the gall to look offended. “Hey!! They’re honest about important stuff!!”

“I am literally telling you that we are not!!!”

Isabeau shrinks a little. “B-But— But that’s not possible. It doesn’t make any—”

“Then how do I know them?” Siffrin snarls. “How do I know everything about them? Why do I blinding hate you?”

“I don’t…” Isabeau trails off. They can see him starting to wrap his mind around it. Blood cooling, stance wilting. “You… Are you telling the truth?”

“What do you think.”

His shoulders slump a little. “You… killed yourself?”

“Your Sif tried to break the world,” Loop says scornfully. “I think we can all agree on who’s the more well-adjusted.”

Isabeau staggers back. They can see him getting ready to freak out.

“Nope!!” they shrill. “Not allowed!! This is mine!! You weren’t even there!! Besides, you already saved your Sif! So clearly I wasn’t worth saving!! Or were you just holding out for the new model?”

“That’s not—”

Bile sours in their stomach. Steel screams in their veins. Their blood burns with the absolute assurance of what will hurt him the most.

“Do you want to know the truth?” Loop asks sweetly. “If you must know… I hate you! I always hated you. You had everything. Everything!! A home, a family, friends… and still you were dissatisfied? I mean!! Talk about entitled!!”

“I— What? I never said—”

“But you di~id! To every version of me! Even the pathetic rotten failures, teehee! You shared all your ugliest, stupidest hang-ups and guess what? They were all soooo~ lame! Barely an inconvenience! Baby-school trauma for babies!!! It's no wonder you couldn't save me, teehee… You were way, way, way out of your league!”

Isabeau just stares.

Loop’s fists clench. They wish he would get angry. This would be so much more satisfying if he would lash out already. Throw them back against the Tree and snap their brittle neck. But instead he just keeps standing there, looking devastated.

“Ugh,” Loop spits. “This is pointless. You’re pointless. I’m done.”

“L— Sif!!” Isabeau yelps, and that’s the last blinding straw. Loop tucks their head and bolts.

* * *

Isabeau tries to chase after them, but he’s big and slow and Loop can reach terminal velocity in about three seconds from a standstill. He might as well have tried to catch the wind.

They don’t slow down until they reach the field.

Then they cry.

(The cruelest thing is this: If there was no Siffrin in this world, Loop would be the one everyone loved. Loop would be the one who was difficult but loyal; high-maintenance and universally adored. Loop could have been the weird little freak who everyone considered worth the effort.

But Loop gave up. They gave their chance away. And now they’ve got what they deserved: absolutely nothing.)

What are they even doing here? Why would they come back? They knew what was waiting for them. There’s no space for them here, in this place, with these people. The understudy already took their place.

It’s all Siffrin’s fault. Siffrin the hero, leading their perfect shiny life surrounded by all their perfect shiny friends. Siffrin, who got everything they ever wanted and still demanded more. Siffrin wishing wishing wishing to see them again, yanking on Loop’s subconscious mind all day and night to make sure they could never, ever forget. To make sure they’d never be truly free.

…Maybe they’ll just leave. Without telling anyone, without leaving a note. That would show them, wouldn’t it? Siffrin would be so blinding pathetic about it. So hurt and confused. Almost as hurt and confused as Isa, when he found out that his precious little Siffrin could turn into something like this. Something ugly, broken, hateful. Living spite, made manifest. A ghost haunting their own blinding life.

There’s a rustle from the bushes. Light, uncertain footfalls. Loop stiffens. There’s someone coming up the path. Not Isabeau. Not Siffrin, either. A stranger?

From the shadows, someone clears their throat. “Um—”

They don’t get the chance to say anything else. Loop already has the jagged teeth of their knife pressed tight against their throat. “Who are you? What do you want???”

“I’d let go if I were you,” the stranger says coolly. “Unless you want to lose that hand.”

“You wish,” Loop spits. “You’re out of your league.”

“Bet?”

Against their better judgment, Loop can feel themself starting to smile. It’s strangely comforting to be on the receiving end of a threat, for a change. Talking to someone who doesn’t quiver and quail and bend over backwards to accommodate their every demand.

Loop flits backwards, out of slashing range. Probably Siffrin would land in a fighting stance, but Loop is above that sort of petty, childish showmanship. They don’t need a lot of posturing just to kill someone. “What do you want?”

“I heard crying.”

Oh. Was Loop crying? They didn’t notice. Though now that they think of it, their vision does seem a little blurry. “So?”

“Are you stupid or something? So I thought someone might need help. Obviously.”

Hm. That voice isn’t entirely unfamiliar, is it? It feels like Loop might have heard it before. Possibly recently.

—Oh. “Claude,” Loop realizes.

The stranger’s eyes narrow. “So what if I am?”

“Mira’s roommate, Claude.”

“Oh. You’re with the Saviors.”

“I’m not,” Loop snarls. (STOP IT, calm down, you’re going to scare her. Just apologize and run. Say something conciliatory and disappear, like every other—)

“Change,” Claude swears grumpily. “Sorry for breathing, I’m sure. I know you’re lying, anyway. I saw you show up with the Saviors. I’m not gonna act like I didn’t.”

…Oh. She… really isn’t scared, is she? “I—um. Traveled with them, I guess. For a little. I’m not with them.”

“I wasn’t asking if you all made crabbing friendship bracelets,” Claude huffs. “I just meant you’re not from here. What’s your damage, anyway? Why are acting like that?”

Loop chokes on a laugh. Wow, she really isn’t scared. “…Lifestyle choice?”

“Kind of a shitty one.”

“Like you’re one to judge.”

“Takes one to know one,” Claude says coolly.

Hah!! “Well. I’m sure you were really looking forward to swooping in to save some pathetic little loser, but I’m afraid I’ll have to disappoint you. I’m doing great, actually. Just… out on a walk.”

“Uh huh.”

Why do they feel so defensive about this? “Sometimes I can’t sleep! Is there a law against that? Is it illegal to go for a walk?”

“It’s not illegal to go for a walk.”

“Well! What a relief! Then it seems like you have no justifiable cause to follow me around, harassing me!”

Claude snorts. “Wow. Okay, now I know you’re not with the Saviors. Those guys are way too sensitive for this kinda thing. And too sanctimonious for all that… you know. Lying.”

“Shows what you know,” Loop sniffs. “They’re not half as righteous as they’d like you to think.”

(But even so… She’s right, isn’t she? Siffrin would hate getting talked to like this. For a party of powerful warriors, the gang was awfully terrified by confrontation. Fighting Sadnesses is one thing, but fighting with each other? You couldn’t pay them enough.)

Claude gives Loop a flat stare. “For someone who’s not with the saviors, you sure act like you know them.”

“Well!” Loop says brightly. “W-Well!!! What if I told you that I used to be with them! For long enough to know them better than they know themselves!”

“I’d say you were full of shit.”

“Shows what you know!!!” Loop practically screams. “You have no idea what you’re talking about!!!”

“So tell me.”

* * *

Somehow, the whole story comes pouring out of them, in fits and starts and halting, hysterical gasps. Another life, another world. Another Wish. Another Mirabelle, abandoned to her fate. Another pathetic blinding failure of a Savior.

Claude listens, nodding. Then she says, “The King.”

“I’m familiar.”

“I wanted to be the one who beat him. The one Euph— The Head Housemaiden chose. I’m not saying I was right,” she adds, defensive. “Mirabelle is a marvel. There might be no one else who could do what she did. But I— I still wanted it to be me.”

Loop blinks.

“Mirabelle was… the right choice, probably,” Claude concedes. “Better suited. She’s got the right constitution, or whatever. No one could have done it alone. And I’m— I don’t know if I could have recruited like she did. Going around making friends and things. People don’t like me,” she explains. “People love Mirabelle.”

“I like you,” Loop hears themself say.

“Oh.” Claude stares for a beat, unblinking. “Really?”

“Yes.” They’re 90% sure that it’s not even a lie. When’s the last time they could say that?

“Oh. Well, um. Thanks. But I think you might have sort of bad taste. And maybe a bad personality.”

Loop sputters a laugh. “Haha!!! Yeah! I get that a lot.”

“Really?”

“No.” Most people are too scared to say it. “I should, though.”

Claude nods. She can understand that. “But I never got the chance. I couldn’t save everyone. I couldn’t even save anyone.”

“...How do you live with it?”

Claude shrugs. “Eat. Sleep. Don’t die.”

…Right.

“You should probably get out of here, though.”

Loop raises an eyebrow. “Are you throwing me out?”

“Are you actually stupid? Or are you just being difficult?”

(Hah!!!) “I’m being difficult.”

Claude rolls her eyes. “I just mean… You can’t step out of someone’s shadow if you’re still walking side-by-side. You gotta do your own thing.”

“And if I can’t?”

“Then you can’t.”

“And if it kills me?”

“Then you die,” she shrugs. “Isn’t that what you said you wanted?”

Wow. Mirabelle’s roommate is… actually cool? “I think you could have done it,” Loop finds themself saying. “If you’d been the one Chosen. I think you could have beat the King. You just didn’t get the chance.”

Claude stares at them for a moment before her mouth ticks up. “Hah. Yeah. Maybe. No way to know now, huh? We just hafta go from here.”

*

* *

* * *

At the outskirts of town, a blot of stillness catches Loop’s eye. The absolute absence of movement. A hole in the dark, black against the surrounding gray.

“I told you,” Loop says coldly. “You’re not sneaky.”

Siffrin huffs a quiet laugh.

Loop eyes them warily. Even now, Siffrin has almost no presence. Almost like Loop is the one who survived, and they're the one who's dead.

For once, Siffrin is first to break the silence. “Running away from home again?”

“You are not my home,” they can’t help snapping. “But, well. I suppose so. Why not? After all, it went so well the last time.”

Siffrin chokes on a laugh. Then the smile drops. “I don’t want you to go.”

“I should hope not! I’m excellent company.”

Siffrin looks unconvinced.

“But there comes a time in every beautiful traveler’s life when they must shake off the bonds that hold them back and move on to bigger and better things! Forge their own path; digest their own trauma, etcetera and so forth! Maybe I’ll wind up even more famous than you!!”

Siffrin frowns. “…If you’re really leaving, can I ask a favor?”

“You can ask.”

“Can you tell me the truth?”

Ugh. “Fiiiine. I can’t stay because I—I can’t be here without— Without wanting my—” Their throat closes over the words. Fortunately, Siffrin isn’t so stupid that they can’t connect the dots. (My friends back. My life back. Everything that was supposed to be mine.)

Siffrin gives them a plaintive look. “We could share..:”

“Aw, stardust,” Loop laughs. Not a fake laugh. “Two people can’t be the same person. Anyway, we already aren’t.”

“...I know.”

This world’s Siffrin is the source of all of their problems. The root of all their suffering. So why does it make them so sad to see his shoulders droop?

“I’ll come back,” they hear themself mutter, grudging. “I won’t be gone forever. I wouldn’t—”

Loop falls silent. They know that they’re both thinking of the same scrap of paper, crumpled on the library floor.

“I won’t be gone forever,” they say again; only this time, they say it like a Wish. Like they can make it true just by wanting it. “I won’t disappear. I just—can’t be here. Yet.”

“I’m sorry,” Siffrin whispers.

“We all had our roles,” Loop shrugs. “You just got a better one.”

“But— But what if I never find you? What if we never—”

“We’re family,” Loop tells them firmly. A different kind of family. Not the kind you choose—the one you’re saddled with, by blood and bone, whether you wanted it or not. “Aww~~ Don’t worry, stardust. We’re bonded, aren’t we? You know I’ll always find you.”

“If you even want to,” Siffrin mumbles.

“Stars, how are you still such a brat!!! I’ll find you when I find you! Okay? You don’t get to control this! Just let there be one blinding choice that’s mine!”

Siffrin takes a breath. They let it out. “…Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Okay,” they say again. “You can be in charge. But you have to tell me everything, next time. How you came back, and… everything else. Because we’re family.”

Loop can’t stop themself from smiling. It’s just that—it’s all so unfair. They way Siffrin always gets what he wants, and… the way they can’t help loving him anyway. “Yeah. Okay. I promise.”

Before vanishing from sight, Loop glances over their shoulder. “Stardust?”

“Loop.”

“How do you get used to it?”

Siffrin tilts their head. To what?

“The not-knowing.”

“Hah,” Siffrin huffs softly. “If you find out, write me a letter. I’d really like to find out.”

[You dreamed you were alive.]

Did you know that hamsters eat their young? If you stress out a nursing mother—leave her out in an earthquake, or make too much noise around her tank—she’ll eat her pups alive. You’ll open the lid to find her nest stained black with blood. The half-eaten husks of her children, their claws and bones and hindpaws shriveled-pink and lifeless. It isn’t malice. It’s pragmatism. We can’t survive this threat, she’s saying. We must recoup these resources. Some of us, any of us, have to survive.

Wish Craft can’t hear your words. It only knows the Wish inside your heart. Loop ran away, but they never gave up. They wanted to be free, but they didn’t want to lose. And besides! What’s a little cannibalism between friends! They are family, after all.

There are things that Siffrin wants, too. Things they want and can’t have, because they’ve sunk their roots into the present. Loop isn’t trapped like that. Loop can go where they please.

Off the coast to the north lies an island that Vaugarde forgot. A graveyard for the lost. A monument to stories long forgotten.

But Loop knows how it is to be forgotten.

They look to the sky. The stars have already started to fade, making way for the brilliant flare of dawn. Loop runs a few calculations, cross-comparing the angles from the horizon to the Highstar and the sun.

They go north.

If you want, feel free to read the series in full here! Or if you want for something a lil comfier, you're invited to this very cozy isa/sif side-story.

#isat spoilers #isat siffrin #isat loop #isafrin #isat bonnie #isat mirabelle #isat odile #isat fanfic

[alastyr-not-alastair]

Thinking bout divorced couple DarkLight again

Dark is absolutely the wine aunt in the nightmare family after they got divorced, but Nightmare can’t hold an intervention about it since every time he does, Dark complains about how Nightmare is being hypocritical and at least Dark managed to get somewhere in his relationship before it went crashing down

Light accidentally picked up some unsavoury habits from Dark, usually including some witty remarks or mildly sadistic habits (he swears up and down that he didn’t burn a pile of stuff outside the rainbow town but Sabre knows what he saw)

I think out of all of the fights, the ones that these two have are the most violent. I’m talkin like they put each other out of commission for like a month every single time they fight. I mean like if they so much as make eye contact with each other on the battle field, everyone else will back up because the two of them will cause so much destruction. Both of them are fucking pissed at each other too because of their divorce which is why we see the Mm fight so much (but alas, they both feel terrible about it in the end because they’re losers and totally still in love somewhat)

If they meet outside of the battlefield and no one else is around they kiss

#darklight #steve saga #favremysabre #rainbow steve #light steve #dark steve #dadmare #nightmare steve #hcs #headcanon #nightbow

[winns-stuff]

LO RANT:

So everyone won’t take Minthe’s backstory and will continue to try and rip her a new one and insult her but you all will be up in arms to defend and victimize Hades’ disgusting behavior because of his backstory right? Okay. See this is what really annoys me about THAT part of the fandom, I’m not saying Minthe is a good person or anything like that I’ve literally talked about the way I feel about her in a earlier rant and I’m not saying “yes, yes excuse her behavior because she has a sad backstory!!” because as I always say for Hades the backstory is only ever going to be an explanation not an excuse or pass for her behavior, but at the same time it’s real hypocritical for so many people to use that exact statement when trying to defend Hades. Let me explain.

One thing I absolutely despise about this whole thing is how so many people continue to say that Hades has trauma and he has issues, “everyone’s been sooo mean to Hades no one respects him or treats him right!!” (which is understandable because look at how this motherfucker acts ON THE DAILY, we all read the exact same chapter he yells, manipulates, gaslights, and talks shit about all of his employees but they’re supposed to bend over backwards for him and forgive him even though he won’t fucking stop?? he doesn’t deserve respect, respect is earned not given and he has done absolutely nothing to correct his attitude nor has he compensated for his actions to literally everyone who deals with him in the Underworld, I don’t want to fucking hear that shit) but they’ll bash Minthe so fucking hard for having the exact same fucking issues. You guys act like Hades is just this perfect man who can do no wrong when Hades is literally a man-child. When Minthe and Him started their relationship he basically used her, he made it so that she got fired from her old job just so she can be his assistant that he can just take out all of his stress out on whenever he wants to. That’s why he gave her the job, so she can be completely reliant on him and not go anywhere. He knew that buying her that apartment and clothes, basically everything she had would make her financially helpless and what did he do instead of giving this woman a better job or at least a damn paycheck to get her on her feet? He went and found another woman in the exact same situation as her, scared and financially unstable. Needing someone to rely on, maybe not for sexual or financial things but it’s definitely emotional. The whole thing was started by him and no I am not blaming him for Minthe’s behavior but I am blaming him for using her and creating this mess in the first place.

Honestly, I’m proud of Minthe’s arc. I am excited to see her development and to see her grow as a person, wanna know why? Cause we still don’t see development from fucking Hades yet everyone wants to comment on how amazing he is, HES FUCKING BORING. He’s not a male wife either stop slandering male wives like that, he does not deserve the title of male wife, all he is is a predatory loser who obviously can’t handle mentally and even physically mature women because he knows that they won’t take his bullshit. So many people are eye rolling about hearing Minthe’s backstory but hers is probably one of the most interesting ones we’ve seen this whole fucking comic. You all accepted Hades’ backstory with open arms even though they’re doing the same shit! Stop insulting and berating Minthe and not doing the exact same to Hades.

Not only that, but at least Minthe is getting some actual developmental changes. Hades pulled out a man’s eye in season one and he has not shown an ounce of remorse or care, we never see Hades doing anything except being a whiny fucking dickhead that can’t fathom the fact that he’s the fucking problem. Minthe at least showed some damn self awareness and self reflection, she’s in the damn process of maturing and becoming better! Hades is still on the same shit he was on the 1st season and ITS SEASON FUCKING 3!! I’m so tired of everyone praising such disgusting characters and getting upset at people pointing out just how uncomfortable they get. Your fave is an asshole, he’s a manipulator, he’s a hothead, he’s a cold piece of fucking work that does the bare minimum. That doesn’t mean you have to stop liking him, I’d just be so relieved if people would stop pretending like he’s fucking Bob Ross! Like honestly, I wouldn’t even have a problem with people liking Hades or favoring him if only they’d stop shaming and gaslighting and being so hostile with this weird delusion that he’s a good person, not only that but I cannot stand the hypocrisy that comes out of this how are you mad at one person saying that they favor Minthe but you favor and defend Hades with your whole life no questions asked. You’ll shame that person for liking Minthe because she’s a bad person who’s made terrible decisions that’s affected everyone around her but you cross the line to Hades that’s also a bad person who’s made terrible decisions that’s affected everyone around him. Make it make sense please, it’s getting super annoying.

But anyways that’s the end of this rant, honestly I’m just really disappointed about how some of the fandom treats situations like these. I feel like this comic makes it it’s mission to have as many poorly written female characters as possible just for them to be hated on by the fandom. I’m probably overreacting though I am really upset at the response of some fans. Anyways, this was completely and entirely biased and it should not be used as fact since I literally just started writing this with little to no evidence, I’m basically running on thoughts and piling them together. These are just my plain raw emotions about the situation and how I chose to react, a little extreme and more aggressive I guess so I’ll fix that later. But if you agree or disagree is both fine I don’t mind either, disagreeing or agreeing with anyone is human nature and it would be really creepy if we just agreed on everything honestly.

#lo critical #anti lore olympus #anti lo #lo minthe

[galwithalibrarycard]

Hello, so I love your analysis. I was thinking about the prank episode and the infamous joke "Ben that, done that". Do you think that was more of a joke or there's actual implications to it? Also, the tea episode, really, they r the cutest. The way his hand it's gently carrising Bea the whole episode. Ben almost falling sleep in her arm. Really, I love them so much

Aw thank you! :)

There’s actually a little fun fandom history behind the “Ben there done that” line: it was written by a fan! It was a perk on the Kickstarter campaign for Lovely Little Losers that if you donated a certain amount you could submit a line of dialogue that they’d use in the series and that’s the line of dialogue the fan who got the perk submitted. So in terms of the creators’ viewpoint, that line was there for a practical reason, not a plot or character reason.

The thing about that is, it means you get to decide what your headcanon is, whether you think the line means anything or is just a joke. For me, of course, I immediately noticed the angst side of things, where for Bea the line is a harmless joke but you can easily imagine Ben hearing his girlfriend say “been there done that” about being with him and taking it as another reinforcement of his fear that she’s bored of him and just waiting to break up so she can travel alone. :( We know Beatrice would be horrified if she thought Ben took the joke in that way and that she didn’t mean it that way at all- but he doesn’t know that. Ugh the dramatic irony!

(But yes, I think they’ve been intimate at least once or twice by that point, and also that they’re each other’s first, so they’re both still insecure about it. That’s a big deal and it’s definitely something that can feed into Ben’s idea that he isn’t good enough or exciting enough to make Bea actually want to keep their long-distance relationship going while she’s traveling. And Bea’s idea that his sticking to the rules means he doesn’t want to be with her at all anymore, even though he’s really just avoiding being alone with her so he won’t accidentally say out loud that he wants her to stay (which he knows is selfish) or that he wants to go traveling with her and thereby scare her off with a big commitment- and oh I just made myself sad. They just needed to communicate!!!)

Anyway, yessss I love “TEA” as an episode so much for all the cuddling and tactile fluff, they’re so adorable and so very comfortable with each other, it’s precious! My icon on my AO3 and on my webseries sideblog violivs is actually a shot from that episode because I love it so much (thanks again for making it Jules @electrifiedcage !) I think it’s so cute that even though Ben is so tall, Bea is still the one holding him instead of the other way around. And he still thinks she doesn’t love him?! Ridiculous.

I do love that he can’t stop touching her. I feel like that ends up in a lot of my fics, that he’s always making light circles on her skin with his fingertips and cute little things like that. He can’t keep still for long, he has too much energy, and he always wants to be touching her. It’s very adorable and it’s definitely something she really misses a lot when the rules are going on- and I suddenly can’t believe I’ve never written her thinking that in a fic before! Or like lying in the tent touching her own arm with her fingertips and wishing it was him absently touching her like he’s always doing, and hating him a little for being close enough to do that and still staying away!

This is exactly why I’m obsessed with them, because every time I think about them I notice something new, another way these nerds who always hated romance are actually the most painfully romantic couple of all time. *Meg’s ‘Hypocritical’ song plays in the distance*

Thank you again, I don’t know if this is the same Anon a third time but you have been giving me some excellent prompts here to just go on and on about my OTP and I am living for it! 💖😁

#asks tag #otp: team blessed #that post about Much Ado Bea and Ben that’s like *hates romance* *has the most captivating romance known to man* is SO TRUE

[myrfing]

i sometimes daydream about people’s characters LMAOAOOA. in the rare times I draw them, I’m obsessive about expressing what I like about them, what I think is charming. i imagine in my head how the stories being told to me go, how the light in the setting is and how their character walks and blinks and how surely they speak, and what kinds of moments people want to convey when they tell them. i like thinking about how someone’s character would be like if i passed them on the street in the same universe; totally fucking corny but I imagine my head turning each time. and until now I legitimately couldn’t fathom everyone whose ever decided to read my 72927393 word long texts about gourd or drawn him wonderfully with consideration to everything I’ve said he was was just being a fake loser for clout or validation or whatever. a lot of people are not stuck here just by force or vice; they’re here because they choose to be, generally. people share things here pretty much BECAUSE people can pick and choose whether to be interested or not, and it’s not personal when they aren’t. impersonal and shallow maybe, sure, but you can choose whether or not to even be here at all.

i dont think people are being cringe or hypocritical for answering wolqtds with earnestness or sharing fandom shit they wouldn’t share in real life, even if they are catty or disingenuous in other contexts. very kind and down to earth and mature people wouldn’t share their fantasy rps with their coworkers or drinking friends, either. it’s just time and place. i promise you you will loathe people far less and be far less bitter if you stop trying to psychoanalyze people you never have spoken to nor have to speak to. you really dont have to guess anyone’s intentions online or be afraid of other people who are most likely not neatly in any sort of mental category or dichotomy you’ve imagined them to be in your sickness of them. i say this as the #1 makes snap judgements about people guy LMFAO i only know what is shown to me and I don’t forget that. and while it’s all a telling part of them nonetheless, my curiosity or how much weight I lend to that judgement is up to me and only matters to me yeah. i’ve found myself worrying too about what impact my opinions have on other people and at that point I just removed myself. and then remembered it doesnt matter one bit lmaooo most everyone comes to their own heart’s conclusions on their own time and believe what they want as a summation of their experiences i never was so powerful as to influence people in that way

[narrie]

It’s basically the area of the tumblr fandom who were incredibly critical of all things Holivia and Olivia for literally breathing at times are now creating their own fanfics saying how harry has never been happier with Taylor, he’s in love, their soulmates, he’s a loving and caring boyfriend and how they have been dating longer than we all think etc etc but

anonymous said: https://www.tumblr.com/onedizzle/728832926497832960/genuinely-asking-but-what-is-it-with-some-of-your sorry I gotta get this off my chest lol. this might not apply to anon but literally the only people that continue to bring up how harries act towards his exes in comparison to taylor r are the same exact harries that hated on all of his exes😭harries are weirdos and love projecting onto Harry’s life but I’ve literally seen certain harries that always called olivia a hag/commented on her kids 24/7 and bodyshamed camille and hated her now want to be like “oh harries are such hypocrites” like YALL were and still are being losers. they think they’re better than gf harries because they don’t dickride the women he dates when they’re literally no better and even worse in most cases

#ask #i lich rally just got here<3 #listen i see both sides to a degree like idfw the 'he's sm happier' etc shit but i think haylor 2.0 is cute and i love to see it! #my take is that we all have to ask ourselves this: is it that deep #i genuinely just do not get the beef like nothing happened 😭 they're just on their little walks what's there even to fight about #like with holivia there was CONTENT and TOPICS #how are ppl even comparing these relationships lmao anyway we move

[andro-dino]

how about some thoughts on juno and kite digitalvalentineshipping. like first meeting, first battle, that stuff. they’re silly and stupid <3

you have no idea the door you just opened shekel

digivalen my beloveds <333

- The way I imagine Juno’s intro going really makes em stand out. I wanna draw it out hopefully one day so I’m not gonna transcribe it out too much but her biggest kind of thing is the way they’re like “I don’t like to think of a battle as a fight. It’s a conversation we have with our beys” and that really particularly sticks with people. His and kite’s first battle is what kinda establishes their dynamic of juno teasing kite and being able to fluster him and catch him off guard, though also entertaining him and listening to him more than most would usually. I think one of the biggest scenarios I enjoy with them (coming from their original ref sheet) is the case of kite going on one of his science and data and perfection rants and juno laughing at that and telling him “You’re real funny, Mr. Perfect!” and that really catching him by surprise. Both because that’s not a reaction he’d ever expect, and also because Juno’s the only person besides himself to actually refer to him as Mr. Perfect. I think juno would pull what you’d probably expect, basically asking him how much of his heart is in the battle if all he’s focused on is data and what he’s actually feeling in the moment, general back and forth with that and some juno-isms, and I think eventually kite ends up winning, but as juno smiles and says he looks forward to seeing him again, he realized that they weren’t trying as hard as they could’ve, and suddenly kites interest is sparked and he can’t stop thinking about her.

- I talked about this way way back and I don’t think I’ve mentioned it as much recently but I am obsessed with the idea that juno asked kite out like 10 times before kite realized she was actually serious. For his credit, juno is kinda cryptic with her flirting, but seriously there’s only so many times you can go “this is just how she teases me! he’s just trying to make me embarrassed!” before it becomes obvious.

- Part of that I think would also kite having NO idea how to deal with being attracted to someone. “He’s so intriguing. The fact that he wasn’t giving it his all bothers me. Was he patronizing me? The way they smile and stay calm bothers me. Why do I want to challenge her again so bad? Why are they so frustrating? Why does it excite me that they keep talking to me?” (<- clueless)

- Ren and juno become fairly good friends and the first time she found out about Juno’s crush was when suddenly juno went “That Kite Unabara… he’s real interesting, huh?” and gave a lil smile and walked away and ren just took a moment to process that and went “NO. OH GOD NO. J U N O. KITE????? REALLY???????”

- She makes fun of them every single time they bring it up but did kinda help wingman when she was trying to ask him out (mostly by going “Juno I know he thinks he’s smart but he’s such a dumbass you have to like actually smack him across the face and tell him straight out pls”)

- Oh my god yk that also made me think, one of my hcs is that ren and kite very occasionally get along for the sole purpose of teaming up to make fun of Zyro and Shinobu for being corny but as soon as kite gets with juno she’s just like “nuh uh. no. you don’t get to participate in this now you hypocrite.”

- I really don’t think I can talk enough about how much kite would love using pet names. He’s suuuuuuuch a loser and juno loves em so he’s just constantly throwing out new ones. He folds immediately once juno reciprocates that though.

- While juno usually is very calm and the one leading the relationship, he has his very rare moments of crumbling bc of kite. Kites their dorkass loser boy most of the time but occasionally he can do or say something that just makes them so weak.

- Big moment for Juno was when kite first introduced them as his partner to eight. She knows how much they care about each other and she becomes so concerned with making sure that he makes a good impression. She’s trying to hard to hide their physical pain when eight doesn’t immediately warm up to her but he keeps trying his best bc he needs this.

- Juno being whipped for him feeds kites ego a lot and is awful for everyone involved because he somehow gets worse and also ends up making a fool of himself because of how hard he’s trying to impress her constantly

#mfb oc #kite unabara #spinning them around like sugar in a cotton candy maker #yeah man I’m normal about them (<- lying) #axel’s silly little thoughts

[arctichotch]

You ask for evidence on why the UK trial wasn't a fair trial that isn't just "the uk judges were corrupt and his relative worked for the sun" but you literally absolutely refuse to watch a video people send you explaining in depth problems with that case- that was made by a literal UK barrister, who explains the law in the UK and their rules in the same video- solely because he seems to be pro-depp and does martial arts (because I guess if a lawyer has any life outside their law practice they must be a loser, right?)

He literally explains it so well, and knows the UK law better than any of us. This is why people don't think you're objective. It'd be one thing if you watched the video and came back still believing the same (I'm sure you will, that's fine) but when you throw it out like "I don't need to see this thing because it's pro-depp and therefore he doesn't know anything" like you know more than an actual barrister that's the definition of only seeking evidence that supports your claim.

He explains uk law, he goes over how the judge considered the evidence (not his opinion of how the judge considered, he uses the judge's own words written in his verdict), he shows examples from the verdict, he goes over why certain things were or not allowed to come in. He goes over parts in the ruling and explains why people believe the judge was hypocritical in parts regarding credibility of certain witnesses. He never calls the judge corrupt, he didn't focus on the nepotism part, he only focused on the ruling and the issues he and others saw, and made sure to do so as professionally as possible because he didn't want to insult the judge. He literally does not say anything rude about Amber Heard, he only focuses on evidence and law.

I literally watched you post misinformation about the uk trial and get corrected by an anon about the appeal, which I'll give you credit for accepting the new information there, but it does hurt your credibility for any of us to believe you actually know anything about the uk trial if you didn't even know he had been refused an appeal and instead thought he had gone through and lost two of them, which is kinda a big detail to get wrong like that. And this is probably also why people keep recommending you videos about the uk trial (assuming the one from blackbeltbarrister is not the only one) because a barrister can definitely explain it to you better than any of us can.

but if someone came to me, who was pro-heard, and told me to watch a youtube video of some lawyer who was explaining how she’s been done dirty by the US trial, i also wouldn’t watch that.

(also i took the piss out of his name like once. it has nothing to do with why i refuse to rely on his opinion. it’s just a cringy name for a supposed “professional” lawtuber lmao)

it’s based upon the fact that i do not want to watch a “lawtuber” who has spent who knows how much time posting videos of this trial, to make money, because it is not right, imo, to ever profit off someone else’s suffering. it just straight away destroys any credibility to me and fucking annoys me tbh.

then once again i go back to how this man in particular has a playlist with 69 videos about this trial. and another one with another 25 videos. and from what i can see most have clickbaity titles and thumbnails.

i don’t really know if i need to explain that things can be presented as factual, and actually be factual, while also being twisted to fit a narrative. now i don’t know if this guy did that, but it’s what happens constantly so you can’t just be believing one person simply because they seem like they know what they’re talking about.

yeah he’s a barrister. he knows 100x more than me about law. that’s also another reason i wouldn’t watch it because i don’t know anything about this topic. he could tell me the judge has to recite “god save the queen” every 15 mins in court and id have to believe him because he knows more than i do.

also i don’t see how me making on little mistake, literally being 1 off, counts as “posting misinformation” lmao like i made a mistake because i am human which may be shocking to some. the biggest smartest geniuses in the world make mistakes but that doesn’t mean we don’t believe what they say ever again.

and that actually is the only youtube video i’ve ever been recommended, for either side. that’s why i’m only talking about it now. had someone sent something weeks ago, all this could have happened then

anyway all throughout this case i’ve relied on actual sources and that’s not going to change. a youtube video from some guy i’m meant to just trust is speaking the truth is not a source. if i went in to uni and wrote an essay and said to my lecturer that i used youtube as a source he’d laugh at me. because it’s not reliable.

so if me refusing to watch a youtube lawyer means i am not objective, then i guess i’m not objective. i wouldn’t watch a youtube lawyer, or youtube psychologists or fucking body language experts 🙄 if i was paid and that goes for any topic

#i stand with amber heard #ask #anon #cw johnny depp #abuse tw

[wooshofficial]

hi woosh i have a lot of ships.

- alaynabella hollywood/magi ruiz. i call it moviemagic bc i am a loser who likes puns too much. idk they’re so. they are so girls who necromance together (struggle to) stay together. trips and spills my pile of wips where magi ruiz does something really unethical or dangerous to make people proud of her. i have a whole moviemagic tag for them

- alaynabella hollywood/goodwin morin. what if we were the best batter and the worst pitcher and we didn’t understand each other for most of a season, until suddenly we did. what if we got together right before the game pulled us apart and we tried for so long to make it work. and it did, until it didn’t.

- york silk/oliver loofah/magi ruiz. absolute fucking disaster polycule. york shells olive and takes away one of the only people magi has really connected to. she gets pecked out and they reconnect even though liv has to travel up from charleston. york comes to seattle and olive skips town for a few weeks to get away from him (she can’t stop remembering that MaX is still in the shell xe echoed.) magi is mad that york has fucked up her friendcrush AGAIN. magi “world’s most hypocritical necromancer” ruiz says why didn’t you stay dead. york “necromanced former child star” silk says is what what you said to chorby (chorby who just died for a third time). they fight fight kiss kiss. simultaneously york and olive have very similar weird complexes about growing up. also york is aware his time is running out and he wants to make some sort of amends. they also fight fight kiss kiss. the three of them together are like. york needs people who don’t just constantly praise him like he’s still that can-do-no-wrong kid in hawai’i. magi needs people who can be her shoulder angel and devil (they trade who’s who often). olive needs people who understand the pressure of being new to adulthood and trying to shake off people’s expectations. wow this one got long ANYWAY they’re so fucked up

- york silk/ruffian applesauce. this is a dumbass teenage romance sparking from a game where they both hit a bunch of home runs. it ends abruptly when ruffian fucking dies. it awkwardly continues when york also dies. it ends abruptly AGAIN when york un-dies and ruffian just sits in the hall forever. if romeo and juliet were also orpheus and eurydice. you know?

- SO many short circuits garages ships.

ajax black/nevaeh flapper is “romantic tension over a blackjack game while the universe explodes”

didi müller/oliver mueller is “quit your job. join my punk band. explore space with me”

cravel larue/alice day is “loser boyfriend x loser girlfriend”

francois fisher/ygritte valdrada is “weird bisexual goth power couple”

i have more. i have so many more. i don’t have time to write blurbs for them all but there’s magi ruiz/clare ballard ii, sparks beans/carmelo plums, penelope mathews/liquid friend vi (aka “vienna”), probably more i’m forgetting lmao

Hooooooooooooooooooly shit okay let’s get into it

Layna and Magi - well known and loved. Absolute fucking disasters. Absolutely end game. It’s movie magic, baby! It all works out in the end! (aka, it Never fucking works out because there is no end)

Goodwin and Layna - OHOHOHOHOHO. I like the interp where ego affects everyone with it differently but by stage 4 you’re pretty much a walking stereotype, with Goodwin becoming more and more of a shell of herself (“isn’t this what everyone wanted? Isn’t this the dream? Don’t you love me? I’m a star player!!!!!!!!” vibes) and losing her personality to the ego. Layna “I love you and I forgive you but I will never forget” Hollywood, who values family and trust over literally everything (see: movie magic) would not take kindly to this, but also she knows that this is not Goodwin, but also can’t she fight back, but also she’s doing the best she can, but also Layna Hollywood Never Forgets. And it’s too late by the time Layna decides to forgive and Goodwin is gone, because fuck you Layna you get nothing

York and Olive and Magi - Brendan Urie sucks but when he said “make up sex! break up sex!” he was talking about these three. It’s all revenge! It’s all passion! It’s all dangerous! It’s all wrong! York just wants to be human again and regain the life he built from the ground up in Halifax, Liv just wants her family to be okay, and Magi just wants her crushes to stop being given the finger. None of their intentions are pure but god are all of them cute as hell and in this world where you don’t know when the end is might as well kiss the pretty ones.

At this point I think Magi Ruiz has had a crush on every girl on the active roster (and some of the shadows) (and York Silk when he was experimenting with gender presentation). Also The Fall by Lovejoy is a Magi song, specifically a MovieMagic song.

Ruffian and York - what if in a very long and intense game you got obsessed over someone you used to know in a kind of fucked up way and he just wants a nap, oh my god but you saw the passion in his eyes as he threw that last pitch you absolutely slammed with your own passion and your teammates are looking at you funny again arent they. You are So Normal about this dude. So Normal, in fact, that you fucking explode! Also he never loved you sorry

God the SCs got gay didn’t they

Ajax and Naveah - you are the very thing I hate but that makes you hot, and it’s the end of the world so fuck it (literally)

Didi Ollie and Mike polycule when

Cravel and Alice - the world is going to end. I know exactly when it will. I cannot stop it. I cannot tell anyone. You are the only other person who knows. Kiss me.

Love me some goths

I mean my asks are open for a reason, but also you have my discord so feel free to infodump there! I enjoy your brain thoughts very much.

#woosh answers #burningcrab #blaseball #alaynabella hollywood #magi ruiz #goodwin morin #york silk #oliver loofah #ruffian applesauce #ajax black #naveah flapper #Alice day #I’m not tagging everyone I’m sorry #but I love these

[the-bjd-community-confess]

The bjd community kinda sucks in the Internet because it’s mostly white people you can see sharing opinions and it’s full of toxic drama, trying to sabotage other collectors and artists. A bunch of hypocritical Karens. The longer I’m in this community the more I get annoyed at the bjd community. Wish the English speaking community was just like Asian communities so the global bjd was enjoyable but no. In local Asian bjd communities everyone talks politely and rarely do we have entitled b1otches like u acting so uneducated it makes me cringe. If a local artist creates dolls no one talks shit those bc if it’s not our cup of tea, then we move on. There are ppl who would appreciate that new sculpt. Unlike in western communities “blabla sculpt is so ugly” and calls it “constructive criticism”. 

Most here promotes pro artists movements and educates newbies who bought recasts to how go legit in a really nice manner. I’ve been a legit owner ever since and look down on recasts but I don’t go out of my way to spend hours and days trying to prove girl A’s dolls are recasts and asks the community to think the same way and sabotage the collector. Lmfao petty ass shit. If someone here has a bad faceup doll nobody says shit bc we don’t want to ruin that person’s fun. In western media y’all call out the collectors “ugly” dolls and even drop name of the collector. 

Seeing a lot of toxic bjd contents make me cringe and think are these people total losers that all they do is spend time attacking other people, artists, etc. Even getting mad when other collectors say other doll communities aren’t this toxic when in reality it’s true. I’m part of multiple doll hobbies and this community is the award winning toxic shit. Other communities are so peaceful and fun and the only toxic thing u can accuse them are the scammers. Rarely do I see negative posts on those groups and when there are “constructive criticism” posts they’re legit respectful and sound. Y’all? Complete asses with no logic just rant and biased trashy opinions. A lot of you western people ruin the hobby.

~Anonymous

#BJD #ABJD #BJD Confessions #Community Counterfeits #Hobbyist Region

[zumpietoo]

Sooo...

Time to revisit the endless, self contradictory, hypocritical and patently absurd the Butthurt Brigade (BB, versus the GG of fandumb) have resumed insisting:

1) Ari is a prostitute, because Cole has moar $$$. 

Okay, this, right here, is hilarious on soooo many levels: for starters, if Cole wants to have sex, he doesn’t need to pay for it and, again, it’s long been pointed out that prostitutes are paid moar to leave than for their services, 

if you will. In any event, this is further negated by Ari having her own $$$, but....even if your argument IS that Cole has moar, pays moar of the bills: A) he did the same while with PP (and had/has a lot moar $$ than she does) B) by that express argument, ANY relationship where one partner earns moar than the other is prostitution. It literally means if one partner stays home, they are entirely a prostitute and if you make a “good marriage”, you are a prostitute. 

It’s also, OFC, even moar hilarious coming from the exact same group who endlessly yearn for PP to “date up” (which WOULD be prostitution) and bragged about her (fictitiously) being the booty call for older, richer, moar famous dudes...

Plus I thought Cole was indigent, now? How can he afford a prostitute, then?

Oh and that Ari doesn’t actually live with him/he “made” Chantal cover Bear’s neutering costs?

I mean, every day they flip it in a different direction, which one IS it?

2) Speaking of Chantal, she controls everything, including Cole...

Now, it would appear Cole gets along really, really well with Ari’s entire family, likes and respects them, etc....buuuuutt....how exactly would barely literate, “grifter country bumpkin” Chantal (and Ari) even manage this sort of influence on a famous, educated, wealthy dude (with the ability to hire any number of attorneys, etc) from a different country, anyway? 

Now I’m sure the brain trust of the BB would insist they “have something on Cole”, but unless it’s solid proof he’s a premeditated murderer, I don’t think so. And if it IS that he’s a violent criminal? Whelp then they’re even worse than the BB are insisting AND criminals themselves. But I’m quite confident the BB, again, are insisting it’s cause Cole “cheated” (never happened) on the Peepster....and even if this were true (tho how TF would THEY know?), so fucking what? 

Additionally, if they DO have all this dirt, are such wild puppet masters, etc...why would Ari then have to prostitute herself? Why wouldn’t they just take a big payout and run? 

Also, since Cole’s an indigent loser hasbeen with a ded career, why focus on him in the first place? Such genius puppet masters (which they also insist Cole is) would surely set their sights on a bigger, better prize, no????

Oh andddd.....Cari met thru mutual LA friends who have nothing to do with Chantal, anyway....while she was dating somebody else...and then got together when she was single, after she broke up with her ex (who I seem to recall was supposedly going to show up and “kick Cole’s ass”, too)

3) Cari are transactional Pee Arr and them, most recently, celebrating their second anniversary as a couple totes proves this!!!

First off, again, why would Cole pick ARI for pee arring his career? I get, ridiculous as it was, PedoT’s fully debunked ridiculousness, but in this case, why TF? The BB are also the ones endlessly pointing out Ari is an IG/catalog model (which, again, so fucking what if she models midscale brands, so do MM/Crotchi/PP, so do lots of peeps....it’s still work, etc....), AND previously pretended Cole would “dump her once he met somebody richer/moar famous” (spoiler: he already knew lots of richer/moar famous ladies, who he routinely turned down, so nooooppppeee), so why TF would he choose to Pee Arr with a “grifter country bumpkin prostitute”, anyway????

And, per them, it’s done nothing for him, two years in, so why TF would he continue to do so? It’s as if he’s with Ari because he loves her, huh? 

Additionally, plenty of couples celebrate multiple anniversaries throughout their relationship----their meeting, becoming a couple, their engagement, their wedding, blah, blah, blah....Dylbabs do so, so do lots of peeps. 

LBR....SH didn’t because they split so often there was never an actual solid year (or even 3 months) of being together in a block of time, anyway....

4) Amy would neverrr....

Dude, right off the bat....noooo....while she wasn’t especially supportive of SH (for a variety of reasons), she was entirely about pimping that shit at every turn to further propel PP forward....and, make no mistake, she’s a classic stage mommmeee.....and no, the pics that were leaked were NOT just from the hackings, Amy routinely rewarded her faithful with bits and pieces of shit throughout. We all KNOW this. We have full documentation of this....

You’re talking about somebody who pointedly reached out to me and shared lies/confidential info just because I like Cole moar than PP. And when she failed to sway me (she’s not especially persuasive, BTW), proceeded to lie to Cole to block me, so I could be punished....which, dudes...it’s so creepy, weird and pathetic in and of itself, if I didn’t have written proof, etc---I’d think it was ridiculous, too! (tho not as ridiculous as all the baseless assertions the BB perpetuate in making).

5) Cole’s subscription thing is because he’s an evol, destitute, wanton puppet master, himself

A) We know that’s untrue

B) if one is true then the other must not be? If he’s such an amazing puppet master, why wouldn’t he apply those mad skillz to booking stuff? Also, what happened to the stuff he has actually booked?

I suspect I’ve missed something else, here, but these are my basic points and just, good lord, peeps, find a new hobby! Everybody else? Feel free to add...

Oh lastly, OFC:

6) We’re only doing this to ensure evvolll Cole is never able to do anything else and destroy him

Then you wouldn’t have gone in-app and keep deleting/changing urls

Then you’d have better than “cuz he smokes and maybe dated moar than one woman in the course of a year he was single”

Then you wouldn’t give peeps who ARE guilty of the shit you insist Cole is (e.g. KokeJ, Pete Davidson, PP, herself to an extent, etc) a full and free pass...

[s0undsinmyhead]

I don’t understand how anyone likes Izzie or George. I know I’m biased because I love the badass Queen that is Callie Torres but even before her introduction and Izzie and George’s terrible treatment of her they are the worst characters.

George is this “nice guy” sad sack loserwho spends all his time whining and pitying himself. Oh no Meredith doesn’t like me. I’m a grown ass adult and it’s taken me months to realize the woman who is very publicly in love with this other man and has never given me the time of day isn’t interested in me woe is me!!! And he never learns from his mistakes. Like the most basic mistakes of not putting your foot in your mouth. He can’t stop himself over and over.

And then he meets Callie who ignores that he’s a self-pitying loser. He then treats her like absolute garbage. Lies to her. Cheats on her. Makes her feel bad about herself. Picks his friends over her. And let’s be clear he’s picking his friends who are treating his girlfriend/wife like trash when she has tried over and over to be friends with them. She has been nothing but nice and they make fun of her and talk about her behind her back and poor little George couldn’t possibly stand up for his wife. He can’t even stand up for himself. I’d cry too if I slept with him.

And then Izzie. Izzie is just a pretty mean girl. That’s it that’s her character. She’s the smart girl who had to work twice as hard to be taken seriously! She’s always judged for being beautiful. She also treats every other woman like shit. She’s the popular girl and if you’re not in her clique she’s gonna treat you like garbage. But poor her she’s blonde. She also judges Meredith for sleeping with Derek. Every thing that has ever been held against her she then holds against everyone else.

And from day 1 she just treats Callie so bad!! And for what? For talking to George? Callie is nice to her and izzie just mocks Callie from the get go. And when Callie and George are married Izzie cannot stop until she makes sure the marriage has fallen apart. In front of the whole hospital of course so she can still act like the victim in front of everyone and act like Callie is going to fight her. For George? Please.

I just can’t with these characters. They’re so hypocritical and selfish and self righteous it just makes me crazy. Obviously doesn’t help they shit on my favorite character. But even just character development wise there is so little going on. They stay awful. Especially Izzie.

#long rant no one cares about #I’m just getting all my greys anatomy feelings out #im insane I know #callie torres #george omalley #izzie stevens #I didn’t even talk about how creepy izzie’s obsession with Denny is #greys anatomy

[vecnasrevengerp]

welcome home HOLLY WHEELER (suki waterhouse fc)

hope you brought your tissues with you! be sure to check in at home or to your hotel and don’t forget to always look over your shoulder. this is hawkins, after all.

basics

[SUKI WATERHOUSE, CIS FEMALE, SHE/HER] When’s the last time anyone heard anything about [HOLLY WHEELER]? Old friends remember them as [INDEPENDENT & INTELLIGENT] but also [SKITTISH & HYPOCRITICAL], no wonder they’re still known as [DADDY’S GIRL] around town. Today, in 2006, they are [TWENTY SIX] and some people say they remind them of [PERFECTLY STYLED LOCKS, POORLY CONCEALED FRAGILITY, YOUR BOYFRIEND’S DREAM GIRL, A SOFTNESS IN THEIR EYES]. [hutch, 25, she/her, gmt].

biography

holly wheeler. third and final child born to karen and ted wheeler in 1980. it took holly years and years later to realise that she was brought into this world as a way to save her parents’ marriage and to remind the pair that they loved each other - it was no coincidence that her older siblings had such a small age gap in comparison to her. it was her parents’ marriage that made her realise as a young girl that she wanted nothing like their relationship, that she didn’t want to be trapped into a loveless commitment - but that also meant being desperate for love and attention. hence the connection she had with her father. ted was always there, she was easily her father’s favourite. he didn’t fuss over nancy and mike like he did with her, and so holly had next to no protests when the divorce happened and she was shipped off with her father.

for the most part, holly had a normal upbringing. she still got to see her siblings here and there along with her mother, even if the trio had their own stuff going on. it wasn’t hard to see that holly idolised her older sister and brother and there was nothing more she’d give than to be able to spend more time with them. again, hard to do when they both had their own lives and shit they were going through.

which explained the reason why holly often told the kids at her new school in indianapolis that she was an only child. never mentioned her mom, mentioned the simple fact that her dad had been the one by her side at all times. that her dad was her hero. she didn’t like lying - she absolutely adored her siblings but it still hurt that they were in one place and she was in another. 

but of course she worried profusely about them, particularly mike and everything he was going through. ted and holly made trips back to hawkins often at that point, wanting to be there for little luke and also for mike, her older brother who meant the world to her. it was safe to say she wasn’t surprised when he got institutionalised - and word seemed to travel fast whenever she was back in indianapolis about her ‘crazy brother’. the best part was that holly couldn’t even deny it. she always thought he was weird - her entire family was bonkers - but this was new. this was real.

it was at the age of 13 that she got into her first fight - someone talking shit about mike and well.. they caught holly on a bad day. not that it could even be called a fight. dainty little damsel holly was the first to throw a punch and it was safe to say that she was the loser during the scramble. a busted lip, a bloody nose and pride that would never recover. she never opened her mouth ever again from that moment - instead deciding to keep her head down and work on her school work.

at the age of 15, she’s top of her class and one of the top students in the entire state for that matter. school is her safe space: it’s not home life with her father, missing her mother, brother and sister. it’s a way for her to learn, relax and .. thrive really. it’s her chance at the spotlight, to care about herself rather than anyone else.

she’s 16 when she gets her first boyfriend and she’s glad that she’s not a stupid girl. she’s a pretty little thing and well.. she knows that they all want one thing. and yet she’s desperate for a relationship, desperate for someone to see her for her. for holly wheeler. and she opens up - lets her heart be broken here and there, knowing she’s going to learn some valuable life lessons.

she’s 17 when she cheats on her boyfriend for the first time - a mistake, she swears!! (but seemingly a trait in wheeler women) it’s the first time she’s caused someone immense pain, that she’s been the root cause of something - which takes some convincing considering she still feels like the reason for her parents divorce.

her 18th birthday rolls around and so does her results. ‘top of her class as predicted’ exclaims her father at any given chance he can get. it’s a feeling she’ll never tire of - feeling like someone’s immensely proud of her, knowing that she can smile and beam and that life moves on. she enrols in a private university in indianapolis after many separate discussions with her parents and with support from her high school teachers - every last one of them saying she has a bright, bright future in front of her if she continues on with her studies. naturally she studies economics with the goal of banking in the future. she was making a new name for herself, she was going to make a shit load of money for herself, she wasn’t going to be like her parents.

she’s 19 when she meets her current boyfriend. someone who supports her unconditionally and makes her beyond happy. there’s no expectations between the pair, they both have similar goals in life and well.. she feels like she hit the jackpot. even if she doesn’t tell her family about him.

at 23, she graduates from college, having taken a year out to travel abroad with her boyfriend and explore the world a little. they have no intentions to rush into having a family - even though holly knows he’s absolutely the one. graduating top of her class means one thing this time: plenty of jobs to choose from, and naturally, she takes the one that’s going to pay her the most money and that she can see the most growth with.

holly’s 26 when she gets the call about joyce byers and it’s almost a no-brainer to attend. she doesn’t remember much about the woman, having been far too young to remember anything other than the stories her mother would tell her about the other. but she’s a respectful young woman. knowing fully well that she had to go for her mother - and for her brother - but god almighty, she hopes none of them will pull any weird shit. she can’t be bothered with her entire family being together, the freak show that is the wheeler’s showing up to pay their respects. hence the reason she also didn’t invite her boyfriend - whom she’s also engaged to!! - she’ll be keeping that a tight-lipped secret until she’s back home. she doesn’t want any more unnecessary eyes on her.

time capsule

good luck asking the youngest, spoiled little wheeler to put something in the hawkins time capsule. it was only after convincing from her father that she gave in - handing over her lite brite toy that the party stole from her in 1986. everyone always gave her weird looks when she’d play with it anyways.

stats

Please distribute up to fifty points among the following stats! Click here for more detailed instructions on stats.

Athletics (How Athletic are they?): 1

Burglary (Can they swipe stuff?): 2

Contacts (Do they know people with information?): 2

Deceive (Are they a good liar?): 3

Drive (like, actual driving ability): 1

Empathy (On a scale of 1-10 how much of an empath are they?): 3

Fight (Do they have hands?): -2

Investigate (Can they sleuth?): 2

Lore (Kinda like knowledge): 2

Medicine (First Aid Essentially): 2

Navigation (How good are they with a map/getting around?): 2

Notice (Is your character observant?): 2

Perception (Do they notice things others might not?): 2

Provoke (Are they a shit stirrer?): 1

Rapport (Are they charming? Can they do it on command?): 3 

Resourcefulness (MacGyver scale): 1 

Stealth (Are they sneaky?): 1

Will (Tenacity): 2

extras

spotify (x) pinterest (x)

#submission #accepted #holly

[college-girl199328]

For someone who complains a lot about snowflakes, Donald Trump seems pretty delicate. Per a Rolling Stone report, the former president was once so insecure about Jimmy Kimmel’s jokes that his administration tried to pressure Disney into censoring Jimmy Kimmel Live! On Monday night’s episode of his late-night talk show, Kimmel ripped into Trump, calling him “President Karen” and pointing out the ex-president’s hypocrisy.

According to Rolling Stone, Trump was so upset about Kimmel’s jokes in 2018 that Trump allegedly instructed his staffers at the White House to call Disney, ABC’s parent company, and told them to “rein in the…ABC host.” Per the report, at least two separate phone calls meant to “convey the severity of [Trump’s] fury with Kimmel to Disney” were made, and news of these phone calls apparently became the talk of Washington.

Naturally, Kimmel had an absolute field day with the news. “President Karen demanded to speak to my manager,” Kimmel quipped at the top of his Monday night monologue. “You’d think the guy who fathered Eric and Don Jr. would know how to handle jokes, but I guess not.”

Kimmel homed in on Trump’s narcissism, noting that the former president often relishes being the center of attention. “The first time Donald Trump ever tried to stop someone from talking about him on television, it was me,” said Kimmel. He then made an allusion to Trump paying off adult film star Stormy Daniels in 2016 as part of a settlement about their alleged 2006 sexual encounter. (Trump has denied having an affair with Daniels.) “Usually when he wants somebody to stop talking about him, he pays them $130,000,” Kimmel said, “but he wanted me to do it for nothing!”

Kimmel continued making fun of Trump for his “Trumper tantrum,” wondering aloud which joke of his pushed the former president’s buttons the most. “Maybe it was the time I had Stormy Daniels look at a plate of carrots and size them up, and she picked the little one,” he said. He then launched into a list of practically every nickname he has used for Trump on the show, including but not limited to “Tan’y Soprano,” “Mar a Lardo,” and “Pumpkin McPornhumper.”

“I only have 100 more,” Kimmel quipped to a round of applause, before launching into more nicknames for the former president.

Kimmel continued on to draw a parallel between Trump and Marjorie Taylor Greene, two of the only people who have attempted to censor him. “When you think of all the people who I’ve regularly made fun of, it’s a lot of people. The only two who’ve tried to stop me are Donald Trump and Marjorie Taylor Greene who actually called the cops on me,” he said. “I made fun of OJ [Simpson] a thousand times; he hasn’t tried to kill me once.”

Toward the end of his roast of Trump, Kimmel called out the former president’s well-documented history of insults. “He makes fun of disabled journalists. He calls our veterans prisoners of war, even losers,” said Kimmel. “He insults his opponents, his friends, his family. But if I point out that he’s so fat they renamed the plane Air Force Wonder Bread, I’m the bad guy?”

Kimmel even found a way to poke at Trump’s reportedly crumbling relationship with his wife, Melania Trump. “Maybe this is why Donald and Melania sleep in separate bedrooms: She laughed too hard at my monologue at night.”

Kimmel ended the segment by pointing out the hypocrisy of Trump and news channels like Fox News that claim to champion free speech. Joking aside, this is a blatant abuse of power. I wonder if Fox News—you know, they’re always screaming about censoring comedians—will defend me on this? I doubt it.” He then played a clip package featuring the ex-president regaling the virtues of free speech. “It’s almost like he’s a hypocrite.”

[nevergonnabemuchmorethanweather]

Is it just me, or is Derek Venturi almost like the much, much better version of Xander Harris? They have very similar mannerisms and the same sense of humour, and have some traits in common, but ultimately Derek is a super loveable guy and Xander is almost universally considered irritating. I think the main difference is that Derek had character development and wasn't used as a self-insert by the primary screenwriter, and although he has his moments where he's kind of a perv and not so great to the girls he dates, his character isn't DEFINED by being the "loveable perv" like Xander's is.

They definitely have a few traits in common but in most ways I'd say they're actually opposites. Xander's whole thing is that he's an insecure loser with a massive victim complex. Derek's whole thing is that he's arrogant, spoiled and vain. Xander feels entitled to be a creep because he resents that girls don't fall all over him (never mind that multiple awesome, beautiful women have fallen in love with him and he sabotaged every single one of those relationships), while Derek feels entitled to be careless and sometimes borderline cruel because they do.

Xander seems like a good guy at first, but it's all toxic waste underneath the surface. He's hateful, manipulative, hypocritical, and selfish.

Derek seems like an asshole at first, and he often behaves very badly, especially in the beginning, but there's real goodness underneath-- which is ultimately the reason that Derek's character develops and Xander's doesn't. When Derek realizes that he's gone too far and really hurt someone, he feels bad and tries to fix it and not to do it again. It might take a few times for a lesson to stick, but it will eventually stick. It never does for Xander, because Xander doesn't care enough to let it.

Beyond those most important differences, they just have extremely different personalities. Derek is, for lack of a better term, an alpha male. He has a dominant personality and it’s the source of both his good and bad traits. He can be bullying, territorial, arrogant and insensitive but he’s also ultra loyal to ‘his’ people and feels driven to protect and take care of others.

Xander on the other hand, while brave in the face of physical danger, is whiny and passive aggressive the rest of the time. He tears other people down and plays the victim because he doesn’t have the balls to face his own problems or fix his own inadequacies. Everything is always someone else’s fault.

They’re both snarky and horny, but other than that, I see them as very different characters. I really enjoyed this question though... as you can probably tell by the fact that I responded with a literal essay.

Thanks for the ask!

#btvs #anti xander harris #life with derek #Derek Venturi