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#he proceeded to shove me and scream about how moody I always am and how I’m the one bringing animosity into the household. he has a habit
simplysummers · 2 years
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#tw sui attempt#this is about to get real ranty and I’ll probably end up deleting this later but I’m really upset#so yesterday my stepdad and i got into an argument because he yelled at me on the stairs because he playfully went to push by me and I#replied completely neutrally with ‘I’m sorry I’m not really in the mood can I get by?’#he proceeded to shove me and scream about how moody I always am and how I’m the one bringing animosity into the household. he has a habit#this. i got very upset to a point where my older brother had to calm me down outside. he ended up going out and I calmed down#my stepdad has an awful habit of being very rude to people including me both my brothers and even my mom#and I’ve finally snapped. I’m not putting up with it anymore#he is one of the key reasons for my extreme self criticism and I’m not dealing with it now#I’m almost 19 years old. i will not be spoken to like this.#and so today he’s come into my room demanding an apology from me. and I very calmly explained that while I wasn’t going to ruin my moms#birthday (which is on Friday) that we would not be on speaking terms before and after the event until he can admit how he’s treating me is#out of order. he constantly deflects whenever he does something wrong and he can never swallow his pride and apologise#there was an incident in November where he told me it was my fault my mother had anxiety and if she got worse he would blame it on me#because I was ‘crazy’. that same day I left my house and headed straight for our overpass because I couldn’t handle the guilt#i was talked out of it by my bio dad who I called on the phone. he picked me up and held me close and my eyes are welling with tears just#thinking about it. it was a terrifying experience as a suicide survivor from last February#am I out of order for this? wanting respect from the man who has been in my life since I was 3. who is married to my mom who I love with my#whole heart? i keep claiming to not be perfect. I’m my own worst critic and yet he parades himself as the victim because I’m finally#standing up to him#and Idk where to go from here
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lattaescript · 6 years
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Cuffing Season
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Pairing: Yoongi x Reader
Genres: Fluff, a miniscule amount of angst. But mostly... just fluff and fluff.
Word Count: 3.0k
University AU, Friends to Lovers!Au
Dedicated to those either wrapped up with finals and having the holiday spirit.
Summary: 
Cuffing Season- During the Fall and Winter months people who would normally rather be single or promiscuous find themselves along with the rest of the world desiring to be “Cuffed” or tied down by a serious relationship. The cold weather and prolonged indoor activity causes singles to become lonely and desperate to be cuffed. (by Huffington Post)
Cuffing Season- During the Fall and Winter months people who would normally rather be single or promiscuous find themselves along with the rest of the world desiring to be “Cuffed” or tied down by a serious relationship. The cold weather and prolonged indoor activity causes singles to become lonely and desperate to be cuffed. (by Huffington Post)
“Wait, wait, wait. Hold up. You mean to tell me that you still haven’t gotten together with Min Yoongi yet?”
Your roommate Bomi looked up from her textbook as she firmly puts down her pen on her fervently color-coded lines of notes.
“Ah. See, I knew that would get your attention,” you reply as you munch on a bag of chips on your bed.
That time of the year was approaching. Ah, yes. Finals season. And right now was the season where any visitor can be guaranteed to witness a plethora of glum, moody, and hostile college students trying to cram quite literally everything into every single cell of the brain. Dead week has begun– tis’ the season.
And yet, even though you should really be studying for your own finals, you end up clenching your hair in frustration as you lay down exasperatedly in bed. Every time you want to read on DNA replication or any other subject, your attention span was blocked by certain thoughts of a certain man. Each time you shove those thoughts away by going as far as slamming down your head into the textbook hoping osmosis would pull through for you, his gummy smile always popped up as you helplessly let your heart palpitate more than it should. That damn Yoongi.
That said man lived right across from you. About 4 feet away from your own dorm room.
Before the semester started, you had little to no qualms about living in a co-ed dorm. But now you curse the proximity of the boy who gradually stole your heart, who now grew so much closer to you that you would find him randomly open the door to chat or casually sleep in your bed. He was practically in your room more than he was in his own. And one night, he and you spent the night together in the same bed after chatting for hours.
You groaned internally. Min Yoongi’s new favorite thing to do was apparently scare you by hiding in your bed.
You were talking to Bomi one night earlier into the semester. You were about to tell her that you grew jealous of how close he is to the other girls on your floor.
“I hate how jealous I am. Like, I’m pretty sure all of them are nice girls, I’m sure. I just hate how I stoop so low when–”
“Y/N, stop!!! Uhhhh...”
Bomi had frantically yelled at you, pointing to your bed. When you swiftly leaped toward your bed and uncovered the comforter, there lied a grinning Yoongi in all his glory peering up at you. With Bomi’s conniving, it seemed that Yoongi wanted to scare you. You had pushed him out your room in rage, wanting to wipe his grin off his face.
“So. Who are you jealous about?” He hummed.
“Nothing. Just. Go.”
You threw fits of rage, but the red in your face was not entirely caused by pure rage. As much as you hate to admit, you liked feeling as if you were about to die of a heart attack. You liked Min Yoongi.
However, you would have much rather admitted the opposite as the semester followed.
Yoongi had just broken up with his previous girlfriend before the start of the semester. He had mentioned that he was not going to go for relationships for a while. He was not exactly frivolous per se, but he seemed distant from the idea of getting tied to a significant other. You felt like your chances of getting in a relationship with him had been shot down. So you wanted to lie and say that your feelings for him were but a small, tiny, harmless crush that you got over quickly, but such lies did not go unnoticed by your friends.
Mid-semester, Bomi and your other friends teased your obvious growing feelings for him.
“The way I see it, he definitely likes you, Y/N. Look, Min Yoongi isn’t a fuckboy. He wouldn’t just sleep in a girl’s bed or spend hours in a girl’s room if he doesn’t have a thing for you,” Bomi insisted. Everyone else just nods.
It was not just you. Quite literally everyone in your entire dorm has noticed the romantic tension, and was on their tiptoes just waiting on either sides, their hands tingling with the urge to push you and Min Yoongi together.
And so, they predicted that you and Yoongi would officially become a couple by winter break, where no chemical formulas or biological processes would get in your way.
But well, you weren’t entirely sure.
What if you did say it? But what if he actually doesn’t feel the same way?
They may have seemed like trivial thoughts, but it meant the world to you. Right now, you and Yoongi are both standing on a thin line of thread where only one step would ruin the balance you have. On one side is the “good” outcome– feelings reciprocated; a jolly, happy ending for all. But on the other side? You did not want to even begin imagining the horror. Were you willing to risk the friendship you had forged with the boy living 4 feet away from you? How awkward would it be if things really did not work out? How awkward would it make your fellow floormates?
And on one fateful night, you had agreed to follow him to a party his own fraternity was holding, despite your friends’ warning not to. Somi had warned that despite him not quite being a fuckboy, he still knew how to “have fun” under the influence of alcohol. But you had some kind of conviction that you would grow closer to him.
But that night, your convictions were broken. Yoongi had gotten close to every other girl except you. You did not know where your initial belief that he would not leave your side had come from when he was not in your vicinity most of the night. Instead, his arms were around his underclassmen soon to be pledged in, playfully flirting with a different group of girls every hour.  Though you felt terrible, you felt that you were in no position to complain. Yoongi and you were not in a relationship or anything, so you felt that you were not in the position to judge whoever he chose to get close to.
Still– it was quite unpleasant to see the guy you liked all over other girls. And it was also a fact that he had openly flirted with you. This was what Bomi was warning you about. You were unable to enjoy the party, emotionally distraught with the alcohol only leaving a stinging bitter aftertaste to your tongue.  
The night after the party, he had barged into your room to take charge of your bed as always.
“Hey, so did you enjoy last night? How was it?” Yoongi grunts as he jumps up on your bed.
Irritation bubbled up to your head as you clench your fist.
“Hey, Yoongi? Do you possibly not have the human decency to...I don’t know...knock?”
Yoongi’s expression grew puzzled as he was not used to having been called out by you after a long time.
“Oh. Uhh...sorry. I’ll knock next time.”
You sigh. You were not having it, and seeing Yoongi’s face only exacerbated your incoming heartbreak.
“Yoongi, sorry, just...get out. I want to be alone right now.”
“Hey, what’s wrong? Did something hap–”
“Get. Out.”
With the atmosphere heavy, even Yoongi understood that he had to leave you alone. He slowly nodded and got out of your room. Ever since that night, he was banished from your bed.
You had proceeded to avoid him for a couple of days, with the excuse that you were busy with midterms or you were over at another friend’s dorm. When you finally returned to your room, you had told Somi everything. Somi had hugged you tightly when your eyes had clouded over with tears.
“I’m sorry, Y/N. I shouldn’t have told you that he liked you. I should never assume how people feel,” Bomi whispered while patting your back.
“Don’t apologize. It’s Yoongi’s fault for lowkey...highkey leading me on like that. And it’s also mine for not having the courage to ask him anything.”
You had tried relieving your mind for the past couple days trying to convince yourself to give up on him.
“...But, Bomi. I don’t know. I still like him.” You sigh.
“But for now, I think I just want to be friends. Whatever happens, happens. But I’m no longer going to hope for anything more. And...during winter break, I’ll probably just use that time to heal my broken heart. Distance helps.”
You had practiced putting on a poker face, using your pillow that would represent him and conjured an image of him in your mind.
“Friends. Just...friends. A friend that lives right across from me. Right.”
And with those thoughts, it became today, a day in finals week.
You sigh for what seemed like the millionth sigh and sat up on your bed.
“The thing is, the more I tell myself whatever happens, happens, the more I feel like I want to tell him.”
Bomi looks at you.
“Y/N...I think you should. I really do. I’m not going to deny the awkwardness if he does turn you down. But, honestly? There’s no rule that girls shouldn’t make the first rule. Nothing is going to start if you run away.”
You throw yourself back down on your bed and scream into your pillow in frustration.
“God, I can’t make up my mind. I’m so indecisive. Feelings suck.”
Bomi smiles wryly.
“Girl, feelings suck but you can never stop them. I think it’s unhealthy to try and force those feelings to go away. So, even if you get rejected, I say go for it. And then, find a better man than that stupid Min Yoongi.”
She stook out her tongue and winked.
You thanked the most wonderful roommate you could have. And then, you immersed yourself back into the world of DNA replication.
Well. You wanted to cry.
You plop down on the same old sofa in the living room...back home.
“Well. Finals are over. I’m done. But shit. I forgot to talk to him.”
You groan in frustration to yourself. Once you had picked up your pace in studying, you completely forgot that he had ended his finals one day earlier than you did. And because of your hostile study-mode, it seemed like he left for home without properly bidding you goodbye. He had left a post-it note that read, Good luck on finals and happy holidays. It also had a weird rock...or a cookie drawing.
You sigh. To make matters worse, your parents were away for a business trip overseas and you were home alone.
“Okay...so now what?”
A part of you wants to give up. Winter break was here, and you were once begging it to come closer just for the sake of not being able to see his face every single day. And then, another part of you wants to try. You still feel so strongly for Min Yoongi. You still liked him to the point that you were entirely sure you would still like him after the next semester starts.
And then, you come to a decision.
Christmas comes along like any other year.
But much to your chagrin, this year’s Christmas was quite bitter. Friends were spending time with their significant other, and family was still overseas.
“I’m really sorry, honey. We thought we would make it back in time for Christmas but our flight got delayed. We won’t make it back until the day after,” your mom wistfully states over a phone call that morning.
“It’s okay mom, I’ll be fine,” you reassure your mom, praying she would not notice the disappointment woven in your voice.
You ended the call and plopped down on the sofa. You had decorated the house with Christmas decorations in hopes of surprising them when they came back. Your heart filled with loneliness and the next thing you were doing was fiddling with your contacts on your phone. Your finger was looming over Yoongi’s number.
“It’s like the world wants me to just tell him, huh.”
You close your eyes and take a deep breath.
“No turning back,” you say as you press the call button.
You panicked as he answered the call quite faster than you imagined.
“Hello?”
“Oh, hey...um. It’s Y/N. I have... Uhh. I have to tell you something. Are you free right now?”
“Oh, yeah! I am! Of course! What’s up!”
Say it, Y/N, say it.
“Umm. I...I-I’m just...lonely. That’s why I called.”
You wanted to slap yourself.
“Oh. You’re lonely?”
Your lips quivered and your voice shook.
“Y-yeah. My parents are out of town for Christmas and I’m home alone.”
“I’m sorry. Umm.”
You wondered what was going on at the other end of the line. Muffled noises of shuffling had repeated itself after a long pause.
“I’m sorry Yoongi. Was I bothering you?”
“No! Of course not! Most definitely not. Umm. Okay. I got this.” He mutters the last words, but you caught them.
“Hmm? Got what?”
Yoongi sighs in resolve to something you were absolutely clueless about. Until he says the next words.
“I remember you telling me where you were from. I also remember that it wasn’t too far from where I live. So...please don’t think I’m a creep or anything. But can you tell me your address?”
Your breath stops at his words. You couldn’t find the next words to say out of pure shock and puzzlement.
“Okay, never mind, sorry that was kind of creepy–”
“Okay.”
“...What?”
“I’ll tell you my address.”
You could not believe what you were saying either. Your face turned feverish and your hands trembled.
After the phone call, you sat on the sofa and fiddled with your phone.
“No way. No...fucking way. Did I just...did he just? No way. He’s probably not coming anyway.”
You grew more sure as hours had passed. He had not called since that phone call, and you did not want to call again. However, after 3 and a half hour of waiting, you heard a knock on the door.
“Hey. Uh. It’s Yoongi.”
You were shocked for a second time. You gulp as you open the door.
“Um. Sorry I’m late. There was a bit of traffic but it took three hours–”
“You actually...came? Drove, like what. Three hours?”
Yoongi turned bright red.
“U-uh. W-well. I just.”
He stammered for a couple of seconds before turning to look at you in the eyes.
“You said you were lonely. So I wanted to be here. With you.’
You were floored at this entire situation. None of it seemed real. But you were absolutely elated; you felt you were on cloud nine. Just the sight of him for the first time in a long time made you realize the images of him you conjured in your head were not enough. It was a bittersweet feeling– but it felt like it was only the two of you standing in the universe.
“Uhh. C-come in.”
You moved to the side to let him in.
“Wow. You really decorated this place in the theme of festive, huh?” Yoongi’s eyes pointed to a fully ornamented christmas tree, blinking christmas lights, and mistletoes.
“Yeah. I did. I was planning to surprise my parents, but apparently, their flight got delayed. They aren’t coming back until tomorrow.”
“I see.”
He sat down the sofa you were just sitting in a few moments. You felt weird. It just did not seem real that he was actually in your house, when you have always seen him only sit down on the dorm’s sofa.
“You want hot chocolate?” you called out from the kitchen, in an attempt to dispel some awkwardness, and as a thanks...to many things.
“Sure. Thanks. Umm. Sorry for intruding, by the way.”
You blink for a few seconds, and then you start chuckling.
“You sure say that late,” you reply as you bring 2 mugs of hot chocolate towards the sofa.
“Umm. Yeah. Sorry.”
You smile. You were not used to him being all flustered and apologizing profusely. It felt like a serendipity in seeing him act like this.
“I’m kidding. I’m actually really happy.”
Yoongi turns to you. His eyes darkened as he stares at you.
“Really?”
“H-huh? I mean, yeah. You like, drove three fucking hours. For just some floormate who told you that she was lonely.”
Yoongi’s eyes twinkled as his sight never left you.
“I wouldn’t just drive here for three hours for just a floormate.”
“...Huh?”
Yoongi paused for a few seconds. He then sighed.
“Over the break, I wanted to see you so bad. I didn’t realize how selfish I was. I tried to convince myself over and over again that I was fine with staying friends and that relationships were a pain, but I just...I really didn’t like the fact I had no reason to see you. I guess you really don’t realize what’s important until you lose it.”
“...H-huh?”
Yoongi sighs.
“So. What I’m trying to say is–”
“I like you.”
“Yes, that’s exactly what I was trying to say. Wait what?”
“Yoongi, I like you. I liked you since the beginning of the semester.”
By now, you were full on grinning with your eyes brimming in tears. Yoongi also broke out into his signature gummy smile.
“I like you too.”
And he stole your lips under the mistletoe.
(“Hey Yoongi. So our RA told me this thing called cuffing season.”
“Pfft. What is that. Some kind of mating season for humans?”
“Well. Apparently it worked in our favor.”
“Well, I’m glad it did,” he says, as he nuzzled against your back.
“Get back to studying, I didn’t do as well as I wanted last semester.”
“Oh? Why?” He hummed.
And that earned him a good smack.)
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