#help this got wayyyyyyyy too long

[deus-ex-mona]

the anon who asked about your odd ships. now I wanna know EVERY take you mentioned but in case that gets very long / you don't want to talk about everything, I'm most curious about the canon ship you can't stand, that notp, and that poly ship. Though if you have the time I'd rather know all the takes 🤣

ask and you shall ✨receive✨~

dropping a cut here for length~~ because m a n did just those three questions get long sorry~~~~

the canon ship i can’t stand:

aside from the obvious (akechi x his m*t* s**t*), i don’t like the harucouple. i find their story pretty bland tbh, and i just find miou plain unlikeable.

questionable 10cm anime aside (‘cuz seriously, what was up with miou in that anime? she found out that chiaki died [from unrelated causes] after he saved her from drowning, and then proceeded to blame herself for his death??? even though akechi was like “ay girl his death ain’t your fault, so chill ok?” she just went ahead and made chiaki’s death all about herself, distanced herself from haruki with no explanation, then slapped him when he got all depressed and had an existential crisis that came about because she ignored him? like whaaaaat) the fact that miou is just too dang passive is pretty annoying. m

like, what’s up with that “zutto matteru yo, haruki-kun” nonsense? why is she expecting haruki to be the only one to put in effort to see her? take some initiative, girlllllllllllllll close that 10cm yourself dammit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! he’s going to study abroad in the us of a, he has no time to hop on a plane to zip back just to see you. if you have the time to find him (like during your summer vacation), and if the opportunity presents itself (like, if your friends happen to get tickets for a trip to the ‘states and are gracious enough to give one of said tickets to you), go to see him yourself, dammit!!!!!!

and! the fact that they just picked up right where they left off 7 years later is pretty dumb. people change over time, you know? the person you thought you liked in high school may have very well grown up to become an adult that you barely recognise, much less still have feelings for. so the fact that they just??? got right together after those 7 years with absolutely minimal contact??? is just????? what???????????

so yeah. that canon ship i can’t stand is harumiou. stock shoujo romance ships confuse me h e l p

aside from that, yuko x her french husband ig, bc she needs therapy, not a man. prioritise your kids, yuko, not yourself. you’re a parent, so act like one, dammit!!!!

that notp:

every single aizo ship aside from lxl, daizo (as a crackship), and aiyui (read: ft4 yui, for the crack potential only), bc i really can’t see him with any girl (or any other guy for the matter, really). aiyuu forever, y’know—

also, hiyomona bc episode 6 of the [redacted] anime still makes my skin crawl. why would you ship mona with someone who says “you’re so cute, no wonder why the guy tried to assault you” h e lp. i used to think that hiyomona was kinda cute, but now it just. gives me the heebies sorryyyyyyyyyyy

that poly ship:

keikarenariken!!!!! the fast food quartet is just so cute together y’know~~~~? kei and ken even bounce off each other really nicely (cries in heart no chikai novel i totally didn’t forget about), and arikaren are just plain cute!!!!! ken and karen have nice interactions with each other, in a sense… soooo… they’re all just so precious and cute and i think they should all hold hands and feed each other extra salty french fries

and for another poly ship, kotahinakoyuryou! yukki deserves to have 3 gardening-loving lovers y o u g e t m e ? flower shop ot4, anyone? i just think the four of them should be girlfriends (yes, even kotaro) and weave each other flower crowns~~~~~~

#help this got wayyyyyyyy too long #i prolly ranted about the canon notp too much lol i’m sorryyyyyyyyyyyy #sorry for being a hater am i still allowed to stay on your dash~? ♡〜（ゝ。∂）

[xslytherclawx-writes]

hi hi for the director's commentary thing, i know it's from a few years ago but i really love enough contrition to spare so if you have anything you'd like to share about that fic i'd love to know!!

oooh yes!!! i absolutely ADORE that one! one of my favorites!!!

this got really long, so. cut.

so I wrote it for Heart Attack Exchange, which is 10k minimum in 2 weeks, and I think I wrote it in like four days? in a fugue state. that means much of the creative process has been completely lost to that fugue state lol

because it was for an exchange, it was written for a recipient - kirby is a LOVELY recipient to write for, and they have so many ideas I always love (I wrote for them for Heart Attack this year, too). I definitely tailored it to their likes (and the kitten at the end was 1000% a surprise for them bc they love cats).

but exchanges are not 1:1 "write me exactly this scenario" (that's a good way to get a gentle email from the mods), so I took their request (canon divergence, Harry raised by others, focus on a minor character) and ran with it.

Astronomy goes wayyyyyyyy back to when I'd RP Regulus in high school lol - I'd put astronomy as his favorite subject because I was so tired of everyone assuming Slytherin = Potions. Besides, it makes sense, right? (I don't think that comes up in any of my other Regulus fics haha - maybe the one I wrote for Tavina for Battleship). Astronomy also gave me the chance to have him do things during the day to push the plot (and emotional beats).

Evan is generally my choice for pairing Regulus in non-Ravenclaw AUs when I want the relationship to be (approaching) healthy, or equitable, or when I want Regulus to be the one with more power in the relationship. (fwiw I mean, I don't think Regulus would have been hurt in a relationship with Evan in Ravenclaw AU - Evan is a different matter entirely tho of course). This [also] goes wayyyyyy back to like 2008?ish? when a fanartist I really liked paired them together - and specifically the brand of Evan being dedicated to Regulus, regardless of Regulus's degree of investment.

(Barty (the "hurt Regulus" choice) would've been a very bad match for this specific fic, particularly as Regulus sells him out, and I didn't want that much angst - besides, Kirby didn't particularly want unhealthy relationships.)

Evan is also someone who doesn't quite become disenchanted with ~The Cause~, so that gave me a source of tension between them: Regulus has spent the past two years learning that Muggleborns are human beings and that the war is an absolute waste run by a madman who wants to install himself at the top of a totalitarian regime (the latter he woke up to in 1979, but like, it's really driven home by horcrux hunting). Evan's line about being at each other's throats is Evan making it clear that he knows where Regulus stands and doesn't agree.

As for the brothers - well, I just modded a fest for them lol (or am in the middle of? last fic has been revealed but we're still anonymous), so naturally I wanted there to be some focus on their relationship. Regulus enlisting his family to get Sirius a trial is an idea I really love, mostly because Sirius would really fucking hate it - but would it work? Regulus is more pragmatic than Sirius, who has Morals.

But you can't fix estrangement in a matter of days - Regulus makes his effort (as prickly as he may be during it), and Sirius doesn't know what to do with this new, reformed version of his little brother. In the end, Sirius trusts him to take care of a vulnerable creature just as Sirius is taking care of a vulnerable person (baby Harry).

Also, if you squint, there's a Max cameo at the Ministry scene. I couldn't help myself lol (and Regulus turning Barty & Bella & the Lestranges in saves Frank and Alice! butterfly effect!)

Narcissa serves explicitly as a surrogate maternal figure for Regulus, despite their closeness in age. She genuinely loves him and wants the best for him (misguided though she may sometimes be), fusses over his marriage prospects, and will probably one day accept his change of allegiance - and forgive him for turning in Bellatrix. One day. Probably.

Regulus hasn't quite disentangled himself from his old life (and isn't sure whether he wants to, especially regarding Narcissa), so he goes to Christmas at her home to be surrounded by love and affection.

I'm not sure if / when Regulus finally moves on from Evan in this universe, because the firewhisky obviously signals that Evan is still thinking about him – still loves him, despite everything.

Also, again: cats. Can't go wrong with cats.

#ask box #ask meme

[dailyhowl]

how do I not get mad at myself when I write the first draft? like for some reason, I rage quit when I know it's not supposed to make sense, it's fresh and new, yet I'm like "Nah, no, terrible." Now I have like 10 unfinished works because of my other belief the story is supposed to be perfect at the start, even though I know this isn't true. Sorry, this is wayyyyyyyy to long

Hi anon, I’m very flattered you came to me for advice! 

It can be very hard to be kind to yourself when writing, as it is to be frustrated by a story not taking shape like you would hope. It sounds like you have great ideas, but just a little trouble being patient enough to work through them. I gather that deep down you know ‘this is supposed to be messy at first’ but it’s frustrating to be in that state for ‘too long’? I think it would be best to really tell yourself that it’s important for your work to be sloppy at first! Let yourself just get into the zone of ideas and mood/theme, let yourself explore these things without the constraint of expectations of the quality at first draft.  Maybe an overdone metaphor, but one I like nonetheless, is that you have to treat your writing like you’re painting a canvas. Layers upon layers. You can change and manipulate the paint as you go, as you see fit, and it will only be building your skills and understanding of the art as you go. I think to even just visualise that process helps a lot.

Take note of the things you do like about what you have written INCLUDING the things you’ve written that you don’t like YET. For example, you’ve written something, and the concept is good and you sort of like how it is, but it’s not detailed enough and doesn’t convey the mood properly. Concentrate on what you want to improve on. You’ve already got the good ideas in place, you just need to bulk it up a bit. So, what’s missing? Character details? Character motivations/mood? Environment building? Just keeping layering! Similarly, if you’re reading some dialouge you’ve written and it seems too wordy/awkward, you can pause and think about how you can communicate the same thing different, while keeping what you do like about if there.

So, for example, let’s say I’m a character in this story. Originally, I write that I say “I’m really embarrassed about spending so much time admiring John Lennon’s thighs.” You can refine it and improve it by considering the voice of the character and what they are trying to communicate. It’s handy to have the original piece of writing because it’s the groundwork for what you want to build up on and refine. 

So it becomes “John Lennon’s thighs are incredible, aren’t they? I’m kinda... obsessed, actually.”

Maybe not the best example, but hopefully you know what I mean. Most important is that you be kind to yourself and be patient, work with what you’ve got and sculpt as you go, because it’s actually really great to work with the skeleton of something rather than nothing at all!

Best of luck, I hope that helps!

[luci-cunt]

hello i am here to inquire if you would be down to share a snippet from ur and moony's sherlock & watson, i will take any and all info you feel like sharing

I lvoe you so much also alkjsdfljas;dlfkjasldjfkas;ldkf yes I’d love to give you the deets. A nonnie asked me for snippets too so I’m making this post 2 parts, this one’s details and this one’s snippettttssss <33333

ok so first of all!!!!!!!!!

Sherlock: in this story is “raised rich, with an older sister (Mycroft, yes, she’s a girl now because I say so). There was always a very severe competitiveness pushed on the two of them because Mycroft was more “normal” aka well behaved. They have an interesting, nitpicky relationship since Mycroft is the golden child of the family but they love one another. Mycroft moved out when she graduated high school to go to college and now works as a high class lawyer, running her own firm. Sherlock on the other hand got shipped around boarding schools before he finally turned 18 and bolted. He’s barely a high school graduate and his father all but cut him off, so Sherlock ended up moving in with a really shitting friend/boyfriend kind of?/ fucking around and discovering his unfortunate predilection for heroine and cocaine thanks to his really, really shitty (now)ex.” Also he cannot deal with owing people anything. Like he calculates out how much cereal/ milk he eats at Watson’s house and how much dishsoap Watson uses to wash the dishes and pays him back for every penny of it. 

Physical description: skinny but reasonably tall, has a difficult relationship with food so he’s lanky as fuck. Moony and I described his as “having and knowing that he has a pretty white boy face which gets him punched on multiple occasions. Also the kind of guy that if you were to run into him in a parkinglot at night you’d probably assume he was going to car jack you. Pretty much just feral. 

The Watson boys: grew up in foster care before getting dumped into a boys home where they met their soon to be brothers--Carrie, Kent, John, and Bill--and thir soon to be dad--Carlton. Bill is trans but hasn’t had surgery so when the ppl running the home find out they decide to send him to a girls home instead, and so the four convince local grouchy police chief Carlton Watson to adopt them all (he helped at the home and bonded with all of them so it made some sense at the time). The boys become the “Watson Boys” which is fine except not because Carlton has no idea how to be a dad so Kent (the oldest of the brothers) takes over at age 16ish and is still bitter about it. (Also Carlton pays for Bill’s surgery/ T). The actual age range is Kent is oldest, then Bill and Carrie (who have birthdays that are like, three days apart and they turn it into “twin week” because everyone in the family calls them the “twins”), and then John, but they treat Bill and Carrie like the babies, and Kent and John as the older bros. John’s also the only brother that didn’t go into the police force (at first) instead going into medicine and then teaching before he met Sherlock. Btw Carrie’s full name is “Carrigan” but everyone calls him Carrie. 

John Watson: withdrawn/ tight laced and realistic to a fault. Pretty much willing to go along with the flow as long as the flow isn’t headed straight towards a 300ft drop into sharp rocks (like it almost always is with Sherlock). He’s very, very particular about his space and being independent/ trying very hard not to rely on other people. He’s also the king of denial and will die with his emotions held wayyyyyyyy down in his chest where he can forget about them. He’s also a demisexual king, which means that when he’s not emotionally connected to someone he doesn’t feel any sexual attraction so he has the habit of “forgetting” that he’s gay because he doesn’t feel attraction for long stretches of time because he’s an idiot <3. 

Physical description: Pilipino, with a round face and chubby cheeks, he’s huge, all the Watson boy’s are actually because Carlton was big on boxing, but also because he eats like he’s never going to see another meal and he’s pretty sure all the whole vegitables in the store are poisonous because he grew up in a house full of idiot teenage boys who only ate frozen broccoli because Kent forced them to. 

Mycroft Holmes and Irene Adler-Holmes: Mycroft is Sherlock’s sister, she’s intense and badass and also will show an emotion maybe when she dies. She is a very successful lawyer who started and runs her own law firm. Hobbies include: pissing off Sherlock. Irene is her girlfriend (at the beginning of the story) and wife by the end, she’s basically if Renee and Allison had a child. Very sweet but will kill you if you’re an asshole. Mycroft is insufferably in love. 

Killian McDoug: Sherlock’s really shitty ex, also this universes’ Moriarty.

Anyways that’s a lot of details I’m sorry aksdlfja;sldfkj I’m very excited Moony and I have been talking about this non-stop for like four days straight. The main premise of the story is that Sherlock watches Watson solve a case and falls in love so he follows him from Portland to Seattle and demands he work with him and solve cases together so they dooooo. They end up falling in love and also have to deal with murder and shit but other than that things are great. 

Sherlock is the living embodiment of a disastor gay and Watson is too but in his own way. There’s fake dating, salads, gays, murder, slow burn, idiots to lovers--aka literally the perfect stew how could you not love it? 

[punkscowardschampions]

China & America

China: [After School] China: Where are you? China: You left your clothes on the bathroom floor and he's threatening to ✂ them up and she's just sitting there nodding America: ✂💳 after buying new 👌 China: Hilarious China: but you'd have to pry his wallet out his tight arse first and he's waving the ✂ about like right now America: 😐 America: terrorist negotiations are a no no China: Oh, believe me, if he knew you were on the 📞 he'd be straight on to shout at you himself America: if he wants me to walk around naked that's his damage America: she's guaranteed not sitting there 😶 when I do China: They're your best jeans China: you already don't have enough decent gear, you're seriously going to risk it? America: they'll be my best denim cut offs America: I don't come running for him China: Because it's not freezing 11 months and a half out of the year, Ricky China: I don't either but like fuck would I let him trash any of my stuff America: move us 🏝🧉 Gaz 👏 China: You want to fake as delusional as her? China: Fine, I'll be the only one living in reality, trying to talk some sense back into the woman and stopping him from ruining literally everything we've got America: back into? America: you've got jokes China: Please China: She was never this bad before China: or at least for this long, it'd be three weeks max of the lovesick bit and then she'd always come back and be mam again America: from your 🏰 that's the view China: There's nothing about this house that's castle like but he's definitely taken the only appeals it had away China: you miss having the parties and the hangs too America: they're still happening America: Gaz doesn't run the 🌏 America: can't roll out of 🛏 onto a dance floor but it's not 😢 China: But it was better when we could throw them China: and there was no rules around here, period China: You're just giving him reason to stay, the man's a raving lunatic, instead of saying no tah it's like his new cause to fix this family and save us both China: Must've been a fucking general in a past life America: there still aren't, his don't count America: & you're not giving him a reason to fucking go so 🤫 China: You say that but any time we have to be here China: and we do, at least some of the time, we can't do what we always did before and he's calling the shots China: I'm trying to figure out what the hell that would look like, what are you doing? America: watch me America: I'll throw a party right now China: Really China: Good luck with that China: Jesus, he'll lock you up, you know he will, if he doesn't do worse beforehand America: What's Daddy Garry gonna do? Hit me? America: They'd lock him up America: & his head'll 🤯 before mine does China: You don't remember some of the boyfriends she's had China: it's not funny, for fuck's sake China: I want my life back America: the trauma hasn't run deep enough to give me memory loss & you're not old enough to play that card America: it can be anything I want, it's my life America: I remember when we had live laugh love on the kitchen wall China: You know what? China: Let him rip up all your sketty clothes China: you're being selfish, why should I help you America: now the 👖 don't know whose side you're on America: they were THE BEST when you wanted me to come back China: I'm on the side of this family China: but you only care about yourself, apparently America: you're on your own side America: you care about having your life back, not what mine looks like China: I'm the one here arguing with him for your stuff right now China: and I just want things back how they were, for all of us China: him gone and her like an actual person with thoughts and emotions about anything that ain't what he wants America: you said yourself he won't leave if I act any kind of way America: he's crusading America: & I don't look old enough to get high enough to do a mam impression America: what do you fucking expect me to do, Chi? China: Help me work this out! China: Together China: you're still here, you don't get to wash your hands of it and ignore it like Zsa does because it doesn't really matter to her China: as long as he isn't hitting any of us and maybe even then, who the fuck knows with her America: don't ! at me America: if it were that simple, togetherness could get fucked China: It ain't, that's the whole problem and what no one else seems to grasp right now China: we act up, he's got more cause to stay and get progressively worse until we can't do anything and go anywhere China: we do what he wants and stay in line, he'll probably get such a boner he'll try to marry her and adopt us America: the audacity of me taking a 🚿 in my own home China: I know China: why is he not telling her to do more washing? America: be a controlling fuckwit but make it useful America: you could be wayyyyyyyy more productive with this, sir China: I'm not saying that's right either but it's all about how WE have no respect China: she's stopped doing anything that isn't doing her 💅💄👗 for him and we're meant to do it all, apparently America: Mam has respect for his 💪🍆🍑 China: 🤮 China: It goes without saying, but he's literally fuck ugly America: but I DEMAND it's said America: he needs to know on the regs China: He's got this one wrinkle on his forehead that's so deep I reckon it could hold a ✎ China: I hate him America: if you put your 💄 in there next time he's 😪💻 , I'll let you use a DIFFERENT ONE on me China: Alright China: I'll use one of hers America: would she end it if he had 0 hair? America: or eyebrows China: His hairline is dead and she acts like she don't notice China: It's like a spell, or something America: I know someone who'd come over for a face tattoo America: or 🍆🍑 if that's all she cares about China: You do not China: and he doesn't have enough of either to cover, shh America: I do TOO China: Who? America: Si is bored enough without your parties he bought a tattoo gun online China: Oh God China: do not do it he'll be so bad, never mind the hepatitis America: & he's dyslexic China: 😂 China: I can't wait to see what bullshit he decides to misspell on himself then America: [sends her some pics because imagine] China: He's so lame China: I can't believe Gary has wrecked my chance with Jake America: his da is a fuckwit too you'd think he'd be more understanding China: like I wanna tell him anything about this China: it's shaming enough we can't throw the parties no more and everyone knows why America: he's part of the everyone, he already knows China: doesn't mean I want to go and cry about it China: I've got some pride, thank you America: he should have some America: never throws a party at his own house China: That was one of the only things we had going for us America: weakkk America: you have things going for you, ask mam when she recovers from this illness China: Okay, the main thing China: but he's going to start going out with Lucie now instead, I know it America: Lucie's been out with half his friends before him America: not a ringing endorsement, like China: Yeah, she's a right slag, and she'll do it anywhere so she don't even need the free house America: get nan out of hers, she'd do it for the sake of your love life China: We have bigger problems China: sort that one and the rest will fall back into place, yeah America: biggest problem that we don't know how to sort it America: I'll get him to hurt me 🚨🚔 we're almost there China: That's not a solution China: and they won't do fuck all about it until it's serious China: too serious to control America: is if it works America: we know he wants to throw me out the window with the 👖 America: & maybe all the boys will think I'm into some hardcore bdsm shit China: Shut up you don't know anything about that America: 👌 Jake's vanilla that's a shame China: You're 12 and that's not the kind of reputation you want or are gonna have China: that's for girls like Lucie who have fuck all else to offer so they have to go hard with that degrading shit America: told you there was more on offer from us than a free house 😛 America: but stop walking into all my traps that easy China: You're such a dick 🙄😏 China: I didn't mean that was all but fucking hell, it was clearly a big draw China: so many people are airing me right now America: you know who doesn't care about parties? America: the people you air China: Who??? America: [a list which obvs includes Bobby and Libi on it and probably Beck as well] China: So you're just going to list every random loser in school for what? America: 😐 America: & you're gonna kid yourself that there's not at least 3 boys on there hotter than Jake America: get out of your fucking ⬛ China: it's not JUST about hot though, is it China: it's all the rest America: what else has Jake got? China: He's cool America: he's not cool enough to throw a party for you America: you're bored China: I am bored right now America: What's the point of Gaz if he doesn't take her anywhere anymore? America: why's she not bored? China: Yeah get this China: they're talking about redecorating America: what.the.fuck. China: I know China: it's looked like this our entire lives because she can't afford it China: now he thinks he can come in and whitewash everything America: remember when that one before offered to put up a roll of wallpaper and she looked at him like he said he wanted to beat you to death with it America: she'd let Gary kill us China: say goodbye to live laugh love China: it'll be RESPECT RESPECT RESPECT America: he needs to fuck off or I am China: Where to China: no one's got a sofa comfy enough or the desire to do any more than offer a night America: I know plenty of people I can get to desire me China: 🖕 China: not falling for it again so soon America: no 🕷🕸 America: they're not people I want, I didn't say that China: That's not a solution, again China: this is our house China: and our mam China: we need to sort it America: I know China: I can't think around them though China: I need to get out America: meet me [wherever the hell she is rn] China: Okay China: as I have nowhere else to be rn America: bring me a jacket China: assuming you've got one left after his tantrum China: that WILL be resumed, when you're relocated 🙄 America: if he's that desperate to text me China: He's that desperate to shout 'til he looks like a 🍅 America: 😋🤤 China: If you liked it or him at all, you'd be here America: I'm waiting here for you America: with ☕ China: I'm on my way America: I'll text Jake to be here & 🏃👌 China: You will not America: you wanna see him & you're not gonna hit send China: Because I have dignity, I don't know why that's a foreign concept to you China: and I don't even want to see him America: you do, you're losing it that he doesn't wanna see you China: Don't be dramatic on my behalf China: and getting my little sister to beg for me, that's hardly going to win anyone over America: I was gonna pretend to be you China: Ha! China: I'd love to see that, not America: party trick America: if we ever have one again China: If anyone wants to come by the time we've worked this out, it'll be a miracle America: it is getting 🥱 China: Seriously China: not getting aired for no reason America: you should listen to me about nan America: have one there China: The only person who would have a party at their nans house is Libi Foley America: it is mint there China: 🙄 America: it is China: Why? She got a trampoline? 👌 America: getting low if you're getting jealous America: [but whatever pics or vids we have from being there however many times we have like] China: I don't know what you reckon is cool in [whatever year they're in] these days America: her 🏠 America: some of her friends America: but I think I scared her off China: Well forget her China: She thinks she's something special but she's so not America: you're not describing her China: Sure China: If she's making you feel shitty she's hardly the 😇 everyone thinks she is America: how did you twist it to be her fault from what I said? America: 🤯 China: You aren't scary, she can't hang America: she didn't have you green lighting her on what cool is America: that's why I can China: She's super immature America: that shit must fly cos she's super well liked too China: With other people on your list, maybe America: you know she's got friends on friends, we don't have to downplay it America: it's not gonna make us feel a new way about any of the 💩 going on China: Literally why are we talking about her China: I've got so much more on my mind America: You brought her up to veto nan's house as a party place America: cos you don't want her to hate you too China: It isn't a party place, she's an old lady China: that would be so lame China: she doesn't have a boyfriend, where are we sending her? America: bingo America: use Zsa's flat then, she has a boyfriend, he's all she ever talks about China: Her tiny one bed China: I could have a few main people, potentially America: Princess and the pea isn't a sexy story America: if you're gonna kick it like that with Jake he will fuck Lucie in the PE block China: That's his prerogative if he wants to catch herpes America: everything doesn't have to be perfect America: you 🔊 like Gary China: If Asia is going to stop talking to me, it needs to at least be worth it America: you could trash the place and she'd think she did it 🔎 for her fake gucci belt China: 🙄 China: at least we don't have to worry about her man lasting America: ✂️💖 China: I don't know why they do it America: what are you doing with Jake? China: I'm not China: not like them America: I don't believe you China: Well first off, he's actually decent looking and cool China: and that's the difference China: Gary isn't, and whatshisname isn't either China: and I'm not throwing myself at him America: he isn't cool to me America: if it was so different you'd care about that China: How is he not? America: 🤡 China: What the hell does that mean? America: he thinks he's funny and he's not China: You don't have to think he is China: you're not interested and he's not interested in you China: that's a bit different to Gary fucking up our lives and taking over our mam America: he doesn't need to talk about me ever then China: I'm sure he won't...? America: 😐 China: He's not talking about either of us right now America: 🎊🎉 China: Happy for you America: I'd be happy for you if you used the Gary situation to get a boyfriend who's less of a dick China: Like who? China: [list boys from that list] China: LOL America: 🖕 America: [because we know the boy she likes is on that list honey] China: Who do you fancy then? America: dream on, shady bitch America: I'm not revealing my secrets now China: 😂 China: Omg go on China: I'll work it out America: if Gaz keeps treating me like a little girl without the choking, spitting in my mouth or giving me euros to spend, it's not gonna matter America: he'll think I'm immature China: You're such a dick China: but he's older then China: narrows it down America: as old as you, not as old as daddy Gary China: Well I can work out who it isn't then America: you've got other shit to prioritise China: You should get a boyfriend your own age America: I'm not getting one China: When you do, then America: when I do I won't be doing a poll of our year America: he's fun that's why I like him America: the 2 years aren't what's making me 🤤 China: What's fun mean America: he can hang China: I know who it is America: happy for you China: He's okay, I guess China: if you like that sort of thing America: what the hell does that mean? China: He's a bit China: but if you like him America: a bit? China: Annoying China: but you don't have to see him around school America: I thought you had a real concern! China: I'm not mam, we've still got one China: I just don't think he's cute but he's not like, the worst China: I don't know why he hangs around with who he does though, maybe he's weird America: Jake is who you think is cute & cool so 🤫 China: He's the hottest boy in my year China: who isn't like, the preppy sporty type America: & he acts like it America: talking down to everyone China: You're dramatic America: 😐 America: he is, behaving like 👑 China: You're acting like I'm married to him, for starters China: we were never even officially going out America: cos he wants to fuck around & find out who else is 🤤 China: He can do what he likes America: with Lucie & you won't care at.all. China: 🖕 America: me getting 🍆 could bring mam out of her coma China: If she finds out before Gary China: that might actually be a decent way to look into it China: 'cos clearly, 👑 has failed to save us all America: 👌 I'll do what I can China: all you have to do is heavily hint you are, in the 0.2 milliseconds he leaves her alone America: I'll stand on the 🚽 while she's 🛁 China: Take a piss test China: that should trigger the fear response America: they're expensive America: be going in Gaz's wallet again China: nah, you can get them for a euro in dealz China: market for the skanky slags like Lucie, duh America: I'll go after school tomorrow, he won't be leaving her alone tonight after ✂👖 China: Ew China: I'm definitely finding somewhere else to be America: seconded China: This is ridiculous China: Nan's going to get fed up of us crashing at hers America: that day came a month in China: but like, fed up to the point he'll talk her out of letting us because we should 'be at home' or whatever the fuck China: 🕠 running out America: What a flirty little game of 🐈 & 🐁 America: game on, Gaz China: 🙄 China: We've got no choice so, yeah America: Where are you gonna go? China: 🤷 China: I don't know America: come with me China: Where are you going? America: When you've got nowhere else, 3rd degree questioning's pointless China: Why is it hard to answer a question? America: I don't have an answer yet China: Right China: well, whatever then America: whatever yes or whatever no? China: So you need a dedicated answer, do you? China: You invited me, shouldn't make any difference if I do or don't come, as you've got no idea where you're going America: & you think my pretend babydaddy is annoying China: He very literally is China: if you wanna talk about thinking you're funny, Jesus America: he has a basis for it America: he's got jokes that aren't about what every girl at school looks like China: He's got adhd China: I think America: When he said he was on 💊s not what I thought he meant China: He must have it bad he's so twitchy still China: and he never shuts up China: which is probably why he's friends with the deaf kid America: I take it back, you and Jake are well suited 🤡 China: What? That's not a joke China: it just makes literal sense China: he's so loud America: You're being a dick China: Oh I am not China: it's not like I'm saying it to his face America: you know I like his face & you're saying it to me China: Well you know I like Jake and you're being a dick about him so in that case, we'd be even America: he can help having a shitty personality, that's not the same as an adhd diagnosis China: okay then China: an excuse to have prescribed speed America: what's your excuse for not calling the deaf kid by his name? China: Why does it matter? China: You knew who I meant America: it matters that you're back in your 🏰 China: 🙄 Shut up China: again, not talking to him, just you America: no shit, you don't talk to anyone outside of your ⬛ America: just me China: We're sisters so China: we have to talk, so sorry America: I know how to do a smoky eye & take a drink, that's your main criteria for what a cool girl is China: You wish America: it's not something I'm prioritising pre or post Gary America: you're stuck with me anyway China: And you're stuck with me China: at the minute, that's basically all we've got China: Zsa is literally not taking it in, no surprise there China: and nan is drinking the kool-aid on him now so America: I'll bring mam back with my 🤰 it'll be fine China: **fake 🤰 America: I assumed that was clear cos of having no real 🍆 inside of me before tomorrow America: Gary probably doesn't want to kiss & make up like that, I'm only 12 China: What do you mean tomorrow? America: assuming I do the test in front of her then China: Don't require you to actually do the deed, idiot China: s'all fake, we don't need you to go have a fake abortion, Jesus America: I'm just saying we don't need to waste time typing out a distinction like **fake when it's obvious China: Don't be a twat, I was just saying China: you're so bloody pedantic today, my God America: Don't be putting some kind of tempting fate 🤰 hex on me before I've even done anything with any boys China: Don't be a little slag and nothing will happen China: not going to be me or fate doing anything about it, you're in control America: right now Gary is America: 🚫🍆 China: It's about more than that America: I know China: You don't get it America: What don't I get? China: I've lost loads of friends China: maybe all of them America: you'll get them back the parties are America: when* China: yeah America: I'm fixing it China: **WE are America: did you save my 👖? China: Yea China: I put a load of washing on China: so now you're gonna owe me a thank you China: didn't know what else to do, he likes pitting us against each other I reckon America: I bought you ☕ ungrateful bitch China: UM, I meant you're going to owe me a grovelling thank you arselick because Gary says so China: I'm behaving and you're not, right now, cheeky cow China: anyway, I'm nearly there so don't fucking bin it America: I'll put washing on when my newborn is sleeping China: Fucking hell 😂 China: It's tragic, isn't it China: I can't think of anything more tragic China: poor mam China: poor nan America: how old do you have to be before they let you get sterilised? China: Oh, so old China: tell 'em you want to live off the state forever and have 14 of 'em and maybe they'll change their fucking mind America: Gary would do it for me if he was any fucking use China: If you ever really get pregnant, the botched abortion would do it America: I'll pitch the idea to my 1st boyfriend China: Good luck America: we're in the right place 🍀 China: Are we? China: Doesn't feel like it America: for a backstreet foetus killing scheme anyway China: Whatever brightside, I guess America: you sound as tired as I feel America: how early did he wake you? I think it was still fully dark out China: I swear, only solid he's done me China: loads of time to do a full hair and make-up routine America: What classes do you even have with Jake? Like 2 China: Oh, so now just 'cos I don't want to look like a bag of shit that's all about him too? China: Are you sure YOU aren't like them? China: Ugh America: you don't look like 💩 America: it's about him if you suddenly think you do China: I don't think that I just China: I'm not winning anyone back 'round if I do America: it's about the lack of parental supervision not your lack of split ends America: on every level you know that China: It is not China: that's a big part of it, but it is not all of it America: if it's not all of it where are they all? China: There's plenty of boys who care about pretty China: even if Jake isn't one of them China: if I have a desirable boyfriend, that's fucking something America: Jake does care about pretty, that's his main priority America: & why he's a dick to me China: You should've said China: you fancy him America: I'd fuck Gary before him, you delusional cow China: Ha, okay China: you're the one who's so hung up on how he treats you China: I'm so sorry he doesn't fancy you back but I'm actually not because you know I like him America: cos I want you to give a shit that your not boyfriend is like bullying me China: Wow, bullying now, really? America: you're asking for me to throw this ☕ at you China: I won't even come if you're going to be this China: melodramatic China: what do you mean bullying you? America: I mean every party you've thrown he's said something unnecessary to me China: Can you be more specific or America: can you not take my fucking word for it? China: Well not really China: like, if he's just made some passing comments it's not really bullying, is it America: 😐 America: 👌 make excuses for him & keep telling me you're doing things different China: For God's sake China: since when are you so sensitive? America: I've kept my mouth shut until literally now China: As you said, literally, he's joking America: I'm tired & I've typed the name Jake more times than I've ever wanted to China: You can't just accuse people of shit they haven't done China: if it was that simple, we'd say Gary was touching us and ta-da, problem solved America: I'll go down that route if the 🤰 fails China: It's not a fucking joke China: fuck this America: it is if you think I'm living like this for the next 6 years minimum China: You think 4 makes it any more palatable? America: telling a lie to get rid of him is the least of what I'm prepared to do China: I can't think straight right now China: save your ☕ I'm gonna go somewhere else America: Chi China: It's fine America: you're basically here China: I'm going China: I've got plans now America: you do not China: I do now America: with who? China: None of your business America: with who China: Who do you think China: happy now? America: what.the.fuck. China: Leave it alone America: Have you been talking to him all along? China: No, actually China: though I'm sure you won't believe me America: can't believe a word any of you say America: I hope he gives you herpes China: Nice America: You're not, why should I? China: You started this China: and for your information, I've never slept with him, or anyone else America: I did NOT China: then you got in my head America: not on purpose China: I've got my own life America: that wasn't in question China: I don't need your pity America: I don't feel sorry for you China: Good America: I'm fine too, thanks for asking China: You've got friends, who don't just use you for parties China: as you've been so keen to rub in America: & you're calling me over sensitive China: Joke all you lie China: k* America: you think Jake's are better China: Yeah, I do America: 👌🍆😗 China: Jealous much America: LOL China: Enjoy pining after Tweak America: 🖕 China: Enjoy your evening, that's my plan America: talk yourself into it harder America: maybe you will China: 👌🍆😗 America: 🤮🤮🤮 China: I'm not faking a pregnancy America: Lucie's not fake swallowing China: Ugly girls have more to prove America: you 🔊 like Jake America: he'll be excited as hell China: yeah he will America: 🎊🎉 he can stop trying to suck his own dick 🥳 China: you're just a kid China: let me know where you end up, Zsa's or nan's China: and I'll take the other 👌 America: you can take either cos I'm doing neither China: You know what, fine China: I shouldn't be the one doing this America: What this do you mean? Whoring yourself out to Jake or pretending you care what I'm going to do China: Looking after you China: are any of them in your messages? doubt it China: he's got no right and he goes too far but at least he'll be giving a shit where you are America: I don't need tabs kept on me, I'm going to MJ's not to 🍆 or 💊💉 China: 👍 America: I had a feeling Gaz wouldn't be stepping up to make 🍝 China: I can thank him for the diet too America: he'll be thrilled to hear about the 🍆😗 part of it China: I'm not planning to regale him with it China: 'cos not tempting an assault tah America: Mam & Zsa will have more useful tips China: I don't need them China: thank God America: just Jake telling you what he likes 💖 China: Piss off America: 🏰👑💖 China: Yeah, really feel it America: he'll make you feel really good about yourself China: What would you know about it, Ricky? America: it's what you want him for, I know that China: Why wouldn't I want that? China: Just because you've not had it ever America: Why can't you get it from someone else? China: Because I like Jake China: end of America: 😐 China: and every girl but you does too America: [lists all the girls that don't aka the lesbians, other girls he has shaded and girls like libi who are shamelessly in love with someone else/have boyfriends they care about even a little bit] China: 🙄🙄 China: You've got too much time on your hands China: not going to list every girl that does China: you know who I meant and that it's true America: I just spent a decade I won't get back waiting for you China: I wasn't about to come to MJ's and beg for food with you so America: I didn't invite you there, it's where I'm going now since you're on a Jake's jizz diet China: Don't be gross America: It's you who likes him 🤢 China: It's you who keeps talking about his dick China: like, stop America: I'm desensitising you America: so you can bear to look at & touch it China: I don't need that America: then this is me 🤫 China: 👍 China: Thanks China: Guess I'll see you in school tomorrow, or just before, pretending we've been 🛏 or purposely showing we're just coming in China: who knows what will be more effective in the AM America: you do one, I'll try the other China: Yeah China: know which one you'd prefer China: I'm not playing nice so you don't have to, like I always have America: you weren't playing when it was just you & mammy America: neither was I China: She was fun China: before America: I know China: What's not to like America: as her favourite, you would say that China: 🙄 America: & it doesn't matter who she was America: she's a zombie now China: we'll get her back America: What's the cure for swallowing Gary's bodily fluids? China: She's had worse China: equally as bad America: built up immunity China: There's no immunity to shitty men America: as you've proven China: pot kettle America: I don't like Jake, you're deluded China: I wasn't talking about him, moron America: 🖕 China: No, he seems like SUCH a cool, chill guy America: you'd be a shady bitch whatever you think he's like cos you're mad I don't wanna hop on Jake's 🍆 China: Yeah, SO mad China: you're twisted China: and delusional if you think it'd be any kind of competition America: you admitted you want me to be jealous & that his appeal is everyone likes him so yeah America: your priorities are twisted China: When did I? America: read any of this chat back China: 👍 Good one China: I really don't care what you think China: your taste is clearly trash America: I'd follow your ☕ into the bin but it'll make me late for 🍝 China: 😱 China: Can't have that China: I'm waiting for my bus, talk later America: 👋

[sustraiii]

TEAM ZRCN ARC 3 - CHAPTER 10

Team ZRCN & co arrive at Highpoint and the Mob Ops make their long awaited appearance.

Thanks again to @neopoliitan for proofreading and for helping conceptualise the Mob Ops wayyyyyyyy back.

CORDOVAN

High above the skies of Solitas, a lone transport ship was heading towards the isolated town of Highpoint. Staring out of one of the windows in the passenger hold, Cordovan watched silently as the snowy tundra passed them by, the occasional cluster of trees or a rock formation breaking up what would have otherwise been a blank and featureless landscape.

During the journey, Neela had been sharing stories of her home with Helia, Calantha, and Rosie to keep them entertained. Xanthos was also listening intently, which Cordovan suspected was to keep his mind off of his travel sickness. At first glance he seemed to be faring better than he had when the group travelled to Shizukana, but his sickly complexion grave away the nausea he was trying hard to hide. Cordovan was just glad the journey to Highpoint was only a few hours. He wasn’t sure he could deal with three days worth of Xanthos being on the verge of vomiting over them again.

Turning away from the window, he looked at Zelde, who was quietly typing away at her scroll.

“How’s your brother?” He asked politely.

Zelde stopped what she was doing to look at him. “How did you know I was talking to Callaway?” She asked, raising a brow.

“I figured he seemed like the likeliest choice given you called him yesterday,” Cordovan explained. A small smile tugged at his lips as he added, “Besides, I can see his name at the top of the screen.”

“How nosy of you.” Zelde said, giving him a teasing prod. She straightened in her seat, placing her hands in her lap before going on to answer his previous question. “Callaway is doing well. The last time we spoke he was still in a state of shock after leaving the family home with our father, but he seems to be in better spirits now -- he sounds more like himself. The only thing he seemed sad about is not being able to speak to his girlfriend.”

“Your brother has a girlfriend?”

“He does,” Zelde confirmed with a little nod. “It was quite a shock to me when I found out, but I’m happy for him. From what little information he was willing to divulge she sounded nice enough, if a little boisterous. Apparently mother was quite upset when she learned of her.”

“What’s this about girlfriends?” Rosie blurted out from behind them. 

“It’s nothing, Rosie.” Cordovan grunted, turning to give her a short glance. 

Unfortunately for him she didn’t let up so easily. “Are you two dating now?” She asked.

“Who’s dating?” Xanthos called out, choosing the most opportune time to join in on the conversation. Zelde was beginning to flush red with embarrassment, and Cordovan let out a groan.

“I hope I’m not interrupting anything back there,” Wren’s voice called from the cockpit - where she was with Helia - “But you should all know we’re about five minutes out from the military station so if you could all prepare for landing that would be much appreciated.”

As prompted by his mother, all the passengers proceeded to take their seats. As they drew close to their destination, the airship was rattled by a small wave of turbulence, which caused Xanthos to groan. In an effort to keep his mind off of things, Neela was once again on hand to keep him distracted. 

“Hey, Ravi, look out the window next to me, do you see that big building in the distance that’s Astrolabe University,” She said, pointing out of the window next to her, “My great-grandparents helped build that after the Great War - impressive, isn’t it?” 

It turned out that calling it a “big building” was something of an understatement. Cordovan couldn’t see it too well without leaning over Zelde, but even from where he was sitting it was a magnificent building; more like a small castle than what he had in mind for a university. Although it was set just outside the main part of Highpoint, it immediately drew the eye and served as a dominating focal point for the walled town.

Up front in the cockpit, he could hear his mother calling in to the military base, requesting permission to land. When she received no response, she and Helia exchanged a glance and Wren was about to try again when a distorted male voice spoke across the radio.

“Transport ship Delta R-1, you are currently flying in a restricted airspace. Please identify yourselves and state your business.”

“Highpoint Military Base, this is Special Operative Major Wren Honeycutt requesting permission to land.”

A long silence followed before the voice finally responded.

“Delta R-1 failure to identify yourself is...breach...security...land...now...or...force...taken.”

Although it was unclear whether they truly had permission or not, Wren still brought the ship down to land. She landed it smoothly save for a small bump. As she got to work on shutting the airship down safely, she encouraged the group to head into the base without her. Cordovan and his teammates were quick to go ahead, with Calantha following along behind them. It was only a short walk from the landing strip to the base itself, but they didn’t get the chance to step inside before three Specialists came outside to greet them - or rather interrogate them.

“Well,” The only woman out of the three began, giving ZRCN and Calantha an appraising glance as she spoke. “You’re not who I would have expected for a bunch of airship thieves.”

A blonde haired man next to her, put a hand on his hip and gave the woman a glance. “Shit, Cher, just look at them - they’re a bunch of kids. Do you really think they stole an airship?”

“Stranger things have happened,” She shrugged. “Especially if your outlandish tales are anything to go by.”

“They’re not outlandish.” He said, frowning a little. 

Their companion, who had been waiting silently with his arms held behind his back, suddenly coughed. “They might not have stolen it themselves, but we cannot rule out that they are potentially accomplices,” He pointed out, steering the conversation back on track, “Perhaps, we ought to ask her.” As he said that he made a gesture with his head to somewhere behind ZRCN, where Helia was approaching

“What’s going on here?” She asked, looking between ZRCN and the three specialists. “Is there a problem?”

“Were you responsible for flying the airship here, ma’am?” The younger of the three asked, blue eyes staring intently at Helia.

“I helped,” She admitted. “I’m not sure I understand what’s going on here - we were given permission by General Ironwood to fly here, why are you trying to suggest we stole it?”

“Hmm,” The blonde hair man mumbled, rubbing his chin idly with his index finger and thumb. “This is quite the situation we’ve found ourselves in isn’t it? I wonder what Par-”

Before he could say more, he was stopped by a quick smack on the arm by the woman, who was staring at Helia with sudden interest. “Holy shit, Elio, do you know who that is?” When he shrugged to indicate he didn’t, she pressed on. “That’s Helia Vines. You know - the Vytal winner.”

“No way,” He said, before turning to look more intently at Helia. After a moment, he too possessed the same starstruck expression as the woman.  Both he and the woman turned back to their companion and gave him a pleading expression. “We can’t lock them up now, Morgan. Imagine how bad it would look if we tossed Haven’s golden girl in jail.”

Morgan scoffed. “Vytal winner or not, she is not exempt from the law. You should know better than that, Elio. You too, Cherry.”

“What is going on here?”

Cordovan breathed a sigh of relief when he heard his mother’s voice finally chime in. Having finished shutting off the airship properly, she had wandered over to join the group, with Rosie close behind her. She put a hand on her hip and gave a disapproving scowl at the three Specialists, who had all straightened up upon seeing her, slightly nervous expressions littered across their faces. 

“Skata.” The blonde man cursed under his breath, something which went by unnoticed to nearly everyone present, save for Helia who raised a brow.

After a moment, Wren eased her stance and exhaled deeply. “Let's head inside before someone winds up catching a chill,” She advised, before striding ahead of the group. Before they stepped inside the base, she quietly warned the three Specialists that she would speak to them privately later.

Stepping inside, the group travelled down a short corridor which opened out into a large communication room of sorts. Six desks were arranged in a semi-circle around three large screens, which had various pieces of information displayed on it. The general layout reminded Cordovan briefly of the Huntsmen briefing room at the academy, where Professor Velour had often taken them when she assigned them training missions as a way for them to get a taste of what they might experience in the future.

Sat at one of the desks was another Specialist, who swivelled around immediately upon hearing the group entering the room. Of all the Specialists they had seen so far, the man in front of them was the only one Cordovan recognised - Parson Rook, a long time friend of his mother’s.

“Wren,” He smiled warmly as he stood. When he approached the group he drew Wren into a friendly hug, giving her a confused look after they separated. “We had no idea you were all coming. We have had no reports from Atlas to suggest anyone was due to fly in today.”

“Really? How come?”

“Probably doesn’t help that one of our antennae took a bit of a ding from a Nevermore around a fortnight ago,” Elio explained. “The connection has been a little hit and miss ever since.”

“And you haven’t fixed it yet?” Wren asked incredulously.

“We have limited supplies to spare at the moment,” Parson said with a small sigh. “Even before our communication issues, Atlas were shortening their supply runs to the town, and by extension the base. We’ve been triaging for the last three weeks.”

“Well that would explain the cold reception you gave to my son and his teammates.” Wren said with a shake of her head.

“Your son?” Parson blinked and then turned to look at the group. When he spotted Cordovan he gave him a small smile of recognition. “The last time I saw you Corduroy, you barely came up to your mother’s waist - now look at you.”

“It’s Cordovan,” He corrected politely, giving the older man a nervous smile. Unlike Rosie who actively used the name to annoy him, he was willing to let it slide with Parson, knowing from the past that the man had some issued recalling names.

“I suppose some introductions are in order,” Wren said after a moment, looking between the Mob Ops and the rest of the group. She would first introduce ZRCN, Calantha, Helia, and Rosie in turn, before moving on to introduce the rest of the Mob Ops to the group.

Since she was already standing next to him, she started with Parson first. “This is Parson Rook, my second in command,” She said, as the man came forward to shake hands with everyone. He was a tall man with close-cropped dark hair and a matching beard. He was in his forties, but other than a few wrinkles lining his face, he carried his age well. Like the rest of his fellow Mob Ops - including Cordovan’s mother - he wore the typical red, white and blue Atlesian military colours in his outfit.

“This is Cherry Linnet,” She said, moving on to the only other woman in the group. Cherry was the shortest of the five, with tanned skin, and pale blonde hair which she wore in a choppy updo. She had pink eyes and wore lighter pink eyeshadow to further accentuate them. “She’s our resident semblance and aura expert,” Wren added with a hint of pride. She gave the woman a small pat before moving onto Elio.

“This young man is Elio Goldfinch,” She began, before being quickly interrupted before she could say more. 

“The best and brightest!” The man boasted, putting his hands on his hips dramatically. He was around the same height as Cordovan, with lightly tanned skin, tousled sandy coloured hair swept back into a rough bun, and reddish eyes. With his sleeves rolled up and his collar exposed, his outfit was notably less formal than the rest of his fellow Mob Ops.

“A self-proclaimed title,” Wren corrected with a smirk, which seemed to deflate Elio a little. “Though I will admit he has some skill on the battlefield.” She gave him a little wink as she said this, and he seemed to quickly brighten up again. 

“Last but not least, this is Morgan Lark,” Wren concluded, as she came to a stop at the last of the group. Morgan was a similar height to Elio, with pale skin, light blue eyes and spectacles resting atop his brown hair. Despite the formal air he had about him, he seemed much younger compared to the rest of the Mob Ops, and Cordovan wouldn’t have been surprised to discover that he was not much older than ZRCN. “Morgan joined us less than a year ago straight from the academy, but he is already a highly valued member of our team.”

With her introductions finished, Wren moved to stand back beside Parson and gave a little bow. 

“Everyone - I am pleased to formally introduce the Mob Ops.”

#team zrcn fic #Zelde Sewick #Xanthos Ravindra #Cordovan Radcliff #Neela Oxford #helia vines #cousin rosie #wren honeycutt #calantha rossi #elio goldfinch #cherry linnet #morgan lark #parson rook

[juliivn-blog]

*  bill skarsgård, age 27, he/him  | oh, them? that’s julian nilsson. they’ve lived in carina bay for, like, one week. last time i spoke to them they were a drug dealer, and if i remember correctly, they’re an aries. seeing them around always makes me think of track marks hidden beneath a long-sleeved shirt, the watery reflection of a neon sign in a motel parking lot, the eerie quiet of 5am after a sleepless night. ( lainie, 24, cst, she/her ) 

hello bitches it me ur local bag of literal garbage ( lainie ) back at it again !! this time bringing u the anti adrian and pls be wary bc there are a lot of sensitive topics down below ( tws for major drug use, drug addiction, death, grief, shitty parenting, neglect, abandonment?? kind of idk better safe than sorry )

so bear with me bc his background info is kind of Long!! his mom and dad are from just outside of st louis, missouri. his mom came from a pretty wealthy family and she was just like tryna be ~rebellious in her young adult years by dating julian’s dad (who came from a super trashy family and had a Bad Boy Rep). when she was 19 and he was 22 she got pregnant ( with julian ) and her fam was like lol get rid of that baby or ur gone !! but they were “““madly in love””” and she was on her rebellious shit so they literally eloped to the city ( st louis ) and got an apartment together and had julian but never actually got married bc they were too cool ( read: irresponsible ) for that. ofc this ended up being rly miserable bc she was used to living the rich life and now her family had disowned her, and suddenly she was starting to realize this dude she had a kid with was kind of a deadbeat party boy with no interest in having a family, not to mention she started realizing like?? i don’t actually want a kid this is a lot of work?? so like julian’s childhood years were a lot of him having to learn to take care of himself and not having anyone to depend on most of the time. and that’s not to say they didn’t both care abt him on some level bc there were definitely times they paid attention to him and gave him a birthday party or two but for the most part he was on his own

fast forward 5 years and finally julian’s dad, now in his late 20s and getting antsy, peaces the fuck out to los angeles to live his best party boy life. baby julian is very upset bc even tho his dad doesnt pay a lot of attention to him he like idolizes him. julian’s mom is saltier than EVER about having to take care of a kid but she doesn’t wanna go to LA ( especially for this asshole she doesn’t even like anymore ) and her parents won’t have anything to do with her or her illegitimate child so the NEXT 5 years are a lot of moving around from shitty apartment to shitty apartment and job to job by themselves. his dad would now and then send weird postcards and stuff from cali so he had like a vague idea of the fact that his dad was living his own life somewhere that looked super wild, and when he was 11 years old he managed to send a letter back asking if he could come live with him. his dad contacts his mom, there’s a bunch of fighting, but in the end julian did indeed get to go live with his dad in los angeles, mostly bc his mom just didn’t give a fuck anymore and was lowkey like…u know what fine take him i can have my life back

obviously his dad does not know how to be a dad !!! he kind of thought of julian as his little like…..sidekick like he just thought having this 11 year old kid around was hilarious. so julian went to LA and was living with his dad and his dad’s friends in a relatively nice apartment but like it’s always filled with people doing drugs and having sex and it’s just. not child friendly at all. so that’s how julian was introduced to weed at the ripe young age of 11!!! from there on out he was like a big time weed and cigarette smoker, was very early having sex and trying other drugs, and by the time he graduated high school he was already hardcore doing coke

so julian like kind of wanted to go to college bc some part of him did crave normalcy, but he was way too far up his own ass to get his shit together for that !! plus like....he didn’t rly have good role models. so his first year after high school instead of getting on a good path for his future he decided living his best life would include moving into an apartment with his cokehead best friend. it was around that time that julian met his first boyfriend. he was already totally aware he was bi, had slept with boys in high school, but this was the first time he rly fell in love with a guy. he was like……….head! over! heels! for this boy. julian met him at a club and he was like sort of soft and relatively innocent until they started dating and julian got him smoking weed and then snorting coke

this next part is very triggering so please read with caution !! when he was 21, julian tried heroin for the first time. for about 6 months it gradually got really bad, his life started spiraling, and his bf was like….becoming unable to deal with it, especially bc while julian was getting worse his bf was kind of trying to move in the opposite direction and get off the coke and get his life back together. there was a lot of fighting, but his bf kept not actually making the move to end things bc he loved julian and was just like hoping something would turn around. one night, however, in a moment of weakness, he let julian talk him into trying heroin with him. it was kind of a “i promise i’ll get clean if u try it with me this one time” thing. being in and out of consciousness and not really aware of what was going on, he didn’t notice that his bf was overdosing and he ended up dying simply bc the heroin was too much for his body and he stopped breathing. julian didn’t notice until the morning when he woke up, and obviously that was by far the most traumatic thing that’s ever happened to him and left some deep ass emotional scars

so following this, he actually did check himself into rehab. he was there for 3 months, got completely clean, but he only managed to stay that way for two weeks before he was first snorting heroin again and then back to shooting up and selling drugs

it was about a year later when he was 23 that he met kit while he was doing a deal at some seedy bar outside of town. they quickly fell into a completely unanticipated relationship--notably, julian’s first since his boyfriend’s death. in spite of that trauma and feeling guilty even as he did it, he started introducing kit to drugs. in his mind, it was kind of a thing where he fell in love really fast and really hard out of nowhere and he saw this sad little thing with no place to go and drugs are the only thing he’s ever known himself, so it was very natural to be like “here try this it helps” and also naively convincing himself he’d never let what happened before happen again

so four years later they’re living together and completely broke, living mostly off the money julian makes selling drugs and whatever else they can scrape up, when kit decides he wants to do a road trip across the country. julian’s very impulsive, doesn’t really give a shit about anything in LA anyway, and to top it off has a hard time saying no to kit. SO a road trip it is !! they make it all the way across the country before finally using up the last of their money and realizing they don’t have enough to get back

which is how he wound up in carina bay! they’re currently living out of julian’s car with a little makeshift bed in the back and he’s selling drugs again to try and save up enough so they can get home, but they use most of what he’s supposed to sell so it’s.......not going very well euyagafdhs

so now that his lengthy as fuck background is over with………julian is an extremely EXTREMELY dry sarcastic person. the guilt over his bf has made him wayyyyyyyy worse, like his sense of humor is so so much darker than it was before that happened, but he’s honestly just a rly sarcastic person to begin with. he has some softness inside especially for people he rly cares abt, but you will not catch julian being sentimental or taking literally anything seriously unless you’ve managed to seriously worm your way into his heart

he’s not like a GRUMP tho at all he just....doesn’t take things seriously. he’s literally the embodiment of every bart simpson meme

"whatever my dude” is his aesthetic

he’s very careful about his drug dealing, he won’t go around talking about it or anything, he does it all under the radar as much as he can and especially having done it for so long now and having experienced a lot of traumatic crap, he’s pretty good at what he does and he won’t fuck with people he doesn’t trust

even when it’s warm it’s not totally unlikely to see him in long sleeves bc he has really bad track marks all over his arms from shooting up so much, especially in the early days when he was really bad at it

he absolutely will not talk about his past and if anything even close to it comes up in conversation he will skate right over that so qUICK ur head will spin

i think that’s IT FOR NOW if u made it this far i commend ur effort and attention span. im gna list some plots n stuff below and hit me uP for some angst bc ya girl is here for the drama as usual

CONNECTION IDEAS

any and all drug related things !! people who buy from him (especially weed, he’s a lot more lenient about to whom he sells weed as opposed to other stuff), people he introduces to drugs, friends he actually does drugs with

he’s very dry and enigmatic but he’s also quite social so seriously give me friends for him. he’s high a LOT but not always and he likes being out doing stuff

definitely somebody or somebodies who don’t trust him and his drug addict bart simpson vibe please please give me people who don’t like him

along that same vein it takes a lot to get julian worked up and in fight mode bc he prefers to just let things roll off his shoulders but it would def be fun to have someone who gets him to that point

also somebody who?? maybe thinks they can “fix” him and genuinely does their best to try and persuade him to change his life and that it’s not too late to turn everything around

if ur muse is randomly from st louis missouri????? hit me up with a past connection from way back in julian’s childhood 

also someone he went to high school with in LA if they’re from LA. this person would probably not be surprised at the way julian turned out ystefygdjhs

#carinaintro #drugs tw #death tw #grief tw #there are more extensive tws under the cut #yuergfajkwehs #god this is long im so #sorry

[now-i-see-daylight-13]

Look what the Reputation Stadium Tour made me do...

So for the last 2.5 years, I’ve been struggling with anorexia nervosa, I’ve been really sick and I’ve nearly died. But over the last few months, I’ve really committed to recovery and over the last few weeks I’ve achieved some major things! (All while at the Reputation Stadium Tour).

 I sat down and flew 3 hours to and from Melbourne, drove 6 hours to and from Sydney and I’m about to fly 2 hours to and from Brisbane!! - 6 months ago I literally could not physically or mentally sit down for even 1 minute!! 

I prepared all my own food and made sure I ate properly while I was in Melbourne and will do so again in Brisbane - Something I haven’t managed to since I got sick!!

I ate past my eating disorders ‘safe’ time at all the concerts!! - Once again something I haven’t done since I got sick!

I had a spontaneous ice cream in both Melbourne and Sydney!!! - I haven’t had an ice cream since I got sick!!

I slept in the morning after the concert!! - something my eating disorder never allows me to do!!

AND... Most importantly... I had so much fun and was truly happy, which I haven’t been for wayyyyyyyy too long!

So thank you Taylor, thank you for making me step outside my comfort zone and helping me let go of some of the final parts of my eating disorder that were still lingering around!! Hopefully, I can continue to beat those final left-over parts of my illness in the very, very near future!

@taylorswift @taylornation

[canaryatlaw]

Feels strange writing this now that I finished recapping yesterday a few hours ago, but hopefully I won't be overcome with sleep halfway through this post, I don't think I have as much to say anyway. Today was fine though. I had a noon PT appointment so my alarm went off at 11:15 and I snoozed it till 11:25 because I'm lazy AF and knew I could do my make up afterwards. So I get there (on time of course, because even with my snoozes I am always timely) and end up with a different therapist for booking schedules or whatever, and she's fine, we run through the exercises and such and I think I'm doing them right. It's harder than the wrist exercises because there are a lot more muscles in that general area that can be used so it's more difficult to figure out if you're doing it right but I think I got most of it, and I remember them to do during the week. For now at least it looks like my pattern is gonna end up being on Wednesdays and Fridays, so I'll have to be good with the home exercises the rest of the week. Ended at 1, went home and got ready for oral arguments at school, suit and make up and everything, then walked to the train and got to school plenty early and just looked at my stuff for a while. Since the brief had two issues, with each side appealing one of them, we were working with a partner so one could argue the first issue and the other second, going up against two people on the other side. So adversarial of course, but not all that bad. I think it went fine overall, it's stressful when you go in having a game plan (and this kind of goes for trial strategy in general) and then when you get there it pretty much just goes out the window and you gotta roll with whatever happens, and I'm trying to answer questions about the applicability of the fourth amendments exclusionary rule impeachment exception to criminal cases versus civil cases (that was a real question, I didn't just through a bunch of confusing words together to exaggerate). But overall I thought it went well. They gave us feedback afterwards and they said my confidence started out really well and then kind of dipped in the middle but picked back up in the end, none of which I was aware of of course as it's going on because I'm just going. One of the judges was like "you got really passionate about that child abuse argument and you can really tell you cared about it, is that like something you're interested in?" So I laughed and was like yeah, I work in juvenile court, I could make public policy child abuse arguments for DAYSSSSSSS lol. So that made me smile. Afterwards I was of course happy to be done, so I went to Starbucks and got another unicorn frap because I'm a child and it tastes like sour candy and shit and I like it, okay? I sat there for like 10 minutes and just decompressed a bit before getting on the train and heading home. Got home and made some food, I tried to get kind of fancy and made this like roasted nectarine oatmeal that I just pulled out of my ass but it tasted really good! Lol and yeah, I also started doing laundry because I officially ran out of underwear that I can for sure know is clean, so that's kind of the limit. After not too long my roommate showed up and she was staying in for the night, so I suggested we start binging 13 reasons why since we'd both been wanting to watch it, so we did and got through the first 5 episodes. First background: I read the book shortly after it came out, circa 2008 or so, when of course I was highly suicidal myself, and I don't think it was super helpful to me in that area, but of course that was 9 years ago now and I'm in a totally different place now. I remembered the overall concept and such of course, but I didn't remember like, the individual stories or anything so that was cool to see again. First impressions: damn. Like I knew of course it was gonna be really, really heavy, but this is like, soul-crushingly agonizing to watch. Just, any time her parents are on screen I can just feel my soul aching for them as they so desperately try to figure out what happened that took their little girl away, and shit I'm tearing up just writing this because this exact subject just gets to me so much. I have images in my head of my parents finding my body after I would've killed myself and I just, they're screaming and sobbing and I can't think about it for more than a fleeting second without bursting into tears (I am full on crying now). Because it's just way too close to home. This could've been my story so easily. Seeing them, even as fictional parents, go through that just makes something in me want to scream and cry in rage that any parent would ever have to bury their child who took their own life, and how that was so close to being my story. I couldn't see it then, I really couldn't. But I can now. I can see how much it would've utterly destroyed my parents. I can see how, as much as my brothers abuse have caused me great pain, them carrying that with them, knowing they had been part of the cause of that (and I was going to make sure they knew) would just be something that would never leave them, a guilt they could never absolve themselves of. And my sister. Oh, my sister. My beautiful baby girl who kept me on this earth because I couldn't never possibly leave her here alone. I had to be here to protect her. If my life served no other purpose, I could at least keep her safe. Make sure she didn't suffer the way I did. To be a barrier between her and our brothers and any abuse they might inflict on her. I wouldn't let them do that to her. My precious, sweet little angel that God knew I needed, when I was just a little 6 year old praying for a sister, God knew I would need her to get me through this, that my love for her, in the end, was the one thing that kept me tied to this earth. I could never leave her. I could never hurt her like that. I could never cause her to suffer such a tragedy at such a young age. He knew. He knew all those years ago I would need her. So He gave her to me and I was the happiest 9 year old on earth knowing that God heard my prayer and actually answered me, with living, breathing proof- this was such a big request, I never expected it to be answered. But it was. Because He knew. So He gave me the most precious and important person in my life that I could never imagine my life without. I could never imagine getting through life without her. And I just......I'm so off topic, but apparently I needed a good cry on this specific subject. But the show, the way it captures her parents grief is just such a soul-aching pain for me. As for the rest of the show, the characters have been well-crafted so far, and they've done a good job showing the effects of bullying on people and how these things affect people- that what we say and do doesn't happen in a vacuum, but in a vast network that can get to anyone. Despite its other potential failings, which I'm sure I'll get to addressing as I go, I think it's doing a good job at really showing that actions such as bullying really do have consequences, what you think is just a joke is really at someone else's expense and that's going to affect them for longer than you know. From a cinamographic (that's not a real word, but go with it) perspective, establishing the cut on Clay's forehead as an easy way to distinguish between the flashbacks and the present was rather brilliant. I have to rant about the lawsuit subplot with the parents for a minute though, since it wasn't in the book. All was fine with it up until the end of the last episode I watched where they said the case was taking to trial and I was like BULL. FUCKING. SHIT. I'm sorry, I have a realism threshold, and that crosses wayyyyyyyy way over it. In absolutely no universe would a school EVER go to trial on a case like that. The merits of it don't matter for shit, what matters is that it would be a PR nightmare for the school. The school is fighting against the parents of a dead girl who was bullied by trying to say they weren't responsible? Nobody's gonna give a fuck about the truth of whether she was or not, they're just going to think the school as being absolutely terrible and like I said, PR nightmare. So that really got under my skin, lol, I know its a stupid little thing but I just couldn't get past it because it would just never happen. And yeah, we ended there and I headed to bed and here we are. I'm glad I can sleep in as long as I want (yay Saturdays) being that it's almost 2 am now. Tomorrow I'll probably try to do more laundry, and I gotta make a target run cuz this week I actually am running out of sodastream gas canisters (which of course we all know I need to live) among a few other random items. Then I can hopefully make a big batch dinner for use for packed lunches/dinners during the week, and also make some more progress on the presentation. I don't have to have the 40 page paper done till May 3rd, but I have the presentation that's supposed to be based on the facts in the paper on Monday, so I have to work on fleshing that out and come up with a game plan as to how I'm going to address it. I think I have a pretty solid idea and it shouldn't take too long to work out. So yeah, should be a good tomorrow. Eyes are tired now, and like I said it's almost 2 am, so I'll call it a night now. Goodnight angels. Stay lovely.

#daily journal #April 2017

[northshorehealthandfitness]

Fitness Limbo and How a Penny Can Add Perspective

Today’s guest post comes courtesy of regular contributor and San Antonio based personal trainer, Jonathan Acosta.

The fitness industry is rife with people who use hyperbole, quick fixes, and instant gratification tactics to “woo” other people into their web of deceit and mindfuckery.

Whether one’s goal is fat-loss, muscle gain, or to have a pecs that can cut diamonds…more often than not people default to the “I want it and I want it now” mentality. And it sets people up for failure.

Jonathan uses a brilliant metaphor/analogy to break this train of thought.

Enjoy.

Copyright: karenr / 123RF Stock Photo

  In the movie The Matrix Revolutions, Neo gets trapped in a train station that’s basically a border world between the matrix and the machine.That station is essentially limbo…

Why am I telling you this?

Because even the great Neo gets stuck in limbo.

We all do from time to time.

A lot of times it isn’t this permanent stuck here forever type of thing that we are led to believe.

Sometimes we have to ride it out until the train arrives to the station.

Note From TG: I still don’t know WTF this scene was all about.

When it comes to this fitness journey, those of us in this profession know all too well about this limbo and what to do about it. We know that results aren’t linear as we’d expect and hope them to be.

Its not a magical rainbow of results just shooting straight upward.

Luckily the fitness industry has done a good job at getting people to understand this and snapping them out of the “I want it now” mentality.

Sure, we still have to battle the inevitable BS such as same-day liposuction or the latest and greatest Cryo-Fatloss-Mega-Blast-Infrared-Sculpting procedure. But as a whole, I think we’ve done pretty well at giving clients the truth and helping them understand that this isn’t a quick and easy fix.

BUT…

What happens when you’re in this shit period? (The shit period is when progress flat lines to where progress seems non-existent?……………AKA: Limbo)

via GIPHY

Now for some, it’s easy to just look down and put in the work day in and day out until they finally see the shimmering light.

But for most, especially ones who haven’t ever prioritized health and fitness in their life, the shit period is so discouraging that quitting is inevitable.

Now you and I both know the cycle.

Three months (if that) of hard work, followed by quitting for six months, only to restart again, usually in worse shape began than before, until the process repeats itself…or they opt for the “instant fixes:”

Liposuction

Cryo-Fatloss-Mega-Blast-Infrared-Sculpting®

Tapeworms

If Only…

If only there was a way to get them to see the 1000 ft. view like you see it right? To get them to see the big picture and the timeline if they stuck with it in the long haul.

I haven’t figured out the answer myself so don’t get your hopes up this is that kind of article.

However, I like metaphors and believe many people learn best this way; they allow an opportunity for a person to connect with a topic.

I can’t remember for the life of me where I got this quote from but its pretty true.

“When it comes to fat loss, you’re going to be in a plateau 80% of the time.”

That means you might be in limbo for a good while.

So where were we?

Oh right. Limbo.

We’ve all been there.

Grinding day in and day out.

Keeping meticulous attention as to what we put in our mouths and staying on point only for nothing to budge.

First of all you should have the help of a competent coach who’s able to recognize “limbo” and guide you through it

Two coaches that come to mind that are exceptional at this are Bryan Krahn and John Meadows.

Even if you’re a coach yourself it would benefit you a ton to hire one of them and learn from them as much as you can.

Next thing is understanding and explaining this curve to them.

I like to give this scenario…

Lets say you’re minding your own business and out of the blue a man comes up to you with a briefcase in hand.

Picture Leonardo DiCaprio as Jay Gatsby. He gives it to you and tells you open it.

You’re confused but you open the briefcase and all you see is stacks upon stacks of $100 bills.

It’s Leo so you know its legit and not monopoly money.

It’s one million in cash.

You can have it if you want. No strings attached.

Now hold on, before you close the suitcase and run. (I did that in my head mentally the first time I heard this analogy).

He says you can have it no strings attached…Or, you can have this…He then pulls out a penny from his Armani suit pocket (they had Armani back in the 1920’s right?).

He says, “I’ll put this penny into your bank account and I’ll double the money in the account once a month for three years.”

[By the second month you’ll have two cents. The third you’ll have four cents. The fourth you’ll have eight cents and so on.]

  Before you start trying to do the math in your head, Leo quickly distracts your thoughts and says, “Which one do you want: The million, or the penny?”

You have 5 seconds to answer…

He literally starts counting down 5, 4, 3,

Now if you suck at math like me, that problem would take you 15 min to figure out let alone five seconds.

So you shout your answer.

What’d you answer?

Its ok, were all friends here. There’s no right or wrong answer.

1 Million or 1 Cent?

In the heat of the moment and with the small time frame given, most would choose the million up front.

Its cold hard cash given right there and then.

Sure we’re all smart and have already witnessed trick questions like these before, so we kind of assume already that the penny would be the better choice.

But since we don’t have time to do the math, or are not able to see the outcome, we choose the quickest, right in front of you, results right now option.

Instant gratification.

Does that sound familiar?

Clients really do know the answer to their riddle.

They know their penny option would probably be best.

But since they can’t see the outcome or the answer, and since they have a five second countdown in the form of social media bogus two-month transformations and extremely high expectations…they too succumb to the “I want it and I want it now” mentality where 1 million dollars up front is quick and easy.

Kick Instant Gratification In the Dick

Now this is where you explain to them what they’d get if they chose the penny.

If they chose the penny. The first year would total a whopping $20.48.

That one million is sounding awfully good isn’t it?

It’s ok, this is that limbo period where seemingly nothing is happening.

But slowly and surely you’re depositing into your “fitness account” with dedication, consistency, and day in day out on point eating and workouts.

After two years your bank account should be better right?

The second year puts you right at $83,886.05…

WTF! That’s still not even close to the one million cash.

Its ok, this is STILL limbo.

At this point you have two different types of people.

People that see no end in sight and either quit or go for instant gratification.

And those that figure F- it I’ve already gone this far might as well just keep going and see it through.

By the end of the third year…your account will have a total of $343.5 Million dollars.

via GIPHY

Now I’m not good at math but even I know that 343 million is wayyyyyyyy more than 1 million.

And all it took was having patience and to keep depositing throughout that shitty limbo period.

Fat Loss is Just Like That.

If you were to see it as a chart graph, it would seem as if results were slow or practically nonexistent, until out of nowhere… boom!

A huge spike and results soar for a short period of time until you “graduate” to the next level of limbo.

That huge spike is more than enough to get you where you wanna be; it’s just a long and slow process at times.

Seriously.

If you think of body transformations in terms of yearly, in a three-year period it’ll feel and possibly seem like the first year and maybe even two will have been a waste.

Pump the brakes. Chill out.

It’s completely normal to feel frustrated, like you’re stuck in cement, and that progress is moving at a snail-like pace.

The metaphor above puts things into perspective: it assures you that if you’re crossing your T’s and dotting your I’s it’s not a waste…and your day in the sun will come soon.

I’m a huge Bruce Lee fan.

He liked to use water in a lot of his quotes so I’m gonna use one too.

If you’ve ever boiled water and stared at it while it boils you’ll notice that it just simmers for a good while till seemingly, out of nowhere, bubbles erupt and its boiling.

What if you change your mindset about limbo and that shit period and see the parallel to the simmering water?

Realizing that things are actually simmering and leading up to that huge skyrocket of success makes the mundane, daily grind seem much more worth it.

About the Author

Jonathan Acosta is the founder of Underground Performance Center and head trainer at Get Sexy San Antonio and is a certified personal trainer though both ISSA and the NCEP, as well as Precision Nutrition Level 1 certified.

He likes lifting heavy things, reading books with big words in them, his steaks rare, funny stuff, writing stuff, hanging out with friends, and laughing.

The post Fitness Limbo and How a Penny Can Add Perspective appeared first on Tony Gentilcore.

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