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fakeikemen · 4 years

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Katara's Grief

(This is my first attempt at a meta post and I know that this has probably been already done but I just needed to get it off my chest and go on a little rant and it kinda got long so bear with me.)

A lot of the hate on Katara stems from the fact that she keeps on mentioning her mother's death at every chance she gets and invalidates other people's pain to assert that her suffering is the worst of the lot.

And even though everybody is entitled to their own opinions, I'm gonna point out why I think the aforesaid claims are not exactly correct.

First we'll take a look at; Katara's Backstory:

We know that Kya is killed in a fire nation raid and that Katara had been the last person to see her alive before she leaves the tent on her mother's insistence. Only to come back a few moments later and find her dead body. This, in itself is a traumatising event.

So yes, her mother died. Other people in the story go through far worse. You're not wrong when you say that.

But what is more important in Katara's story is the aftermath of her mother's death.

As Sokka says while talking to Toph in "The Runaway" in B3 Ep7:

Sokka: When our mom died, that was the hardest time in my life. Our family was a mess, but Katara? She had so much strength. She stepped up and took on so much responsibility. She helped fill the void that was left by our mom.

As an eight year old, she had to force herself to grow up to step into her mother's shoes and raise herself and her elder brother and simultaneously look after the entire village after her father left to fight in the war. She had to do all of it by herself.

In face of all her responsibilities, she never really had the chance to simply be a grieving child lamenting the loss of her mother. She habituated herself to caring more about others than herself (We see this trait in the entire series as she acts as the stand-in mom friend for the entire Gaang with an exception of Suki and Zuko). She ended up bottling her feelings of grief, resentment, guilt and rage deep within herself.

She had to give up an extensive part of her childhood where most children focus on figuring themselves out, to become a mature and responsible person who was working as the immovable pillar holding up the family and even the whole village not much later.

She put up a strong front to help others and pretended to be fine even though she was hurting inside the whole time.

She could never find any closure from the situation. She never got over it.

Moving on to the criticisms:

1. Katara keeps on mentioning her mother like a broken record:

Here are the number of times Katara mentions her mother's death (not sure if that's all of it, lmk if there are any others):

1. In her first scene with Sokka

Katara: Ever since mom died, I've been doing all the work around camp while you've been off playing soldier!

2. A short while after she meets Aang

Katara: Well, I just want you to be prepared for what you might see. The Fire Nation is ruthless. They killed my mother, and they could have done the same to your people.

3. A short while after she meets Haru

Katara: I lost my mother in a Fire Nation raid. This necklace is all I have left of her.

4. A short while after she meets Jet

Katara: Sokka and I lost our mother to the Fire Nation.

5. In the swamp after she sees a vision of her mother

Katara: I thought I saw Mom.

6. In the Crystal Catacombs with Zuko

Katara: I don't? How dare you! You have no idea what this war has put me through! Me personally! The Fire Nation took my mother away from me.

7. A short while after she meets Hama

Katara: We completely understand. We lost our mother in a raid.

8. Repeated mentions in The Southern Raiders episode

(Most of the episode basically)

The first mention with Sokka is in the middle of a siblings' spat where she tells off Sokka for trying to act as if he were superior when it was obvious that in the face of the gaping hole that was left by Kya's sudden death, Katara had shouldered much more responsibility.

When she tells it to Aang, she uses it as a proof that the Fire Nation is capable of immense cruelty and destruction.

The Gaang travel all around the world and meet different people affected by the war in different ways. So when Haru, Jet and Hama narrate their own stories, Katara sympathises with them and talks about Kya's death in lieu of "I understand, the Fire Nation hurt me too."

After they got separated, Aang, Sokka and Katara each had their visions and after they get back together, they all mention their visions and so does Katara.

When left alone in catacombs with Zuko, whom she considered as the face of the Fire Nation— the same Fire Nation that had her mother killed and forced her father to leave to fight in the war, she has a meltdown where she rightfully accuses him of all the bad things he's done and then breaks down while talking about how the war has cost her i.e., by causing her mother's death.

The Southern Raiders is the episode where Katara hunts down the man responsible for her mother's death. If you think mentioning Kya repeatedly in this episode is uncalled for, then I don't know what to tell you.

In all the incidents mentioned above, Katara mentioning her mother's death is a very natural occurrence is the respective conversations. She mostly talks about Kya's death to either extend her sympathy or to use it as an example of the ruthlessness of the Fire Nation.

Another fact to be noted is that 70% of the Gaang's storyline is followed via Katara from a narrative point of view. Plus, being the mom-friend, she acts as the spokesperson. Considering that Kya's death is a major event that played a huge role in shaping Katara's life and is also the source of her severe, unresolved trauma, which acts as the driving force of her story, it is only natural that she brings up this topic whenever she is engaging in a deeper conversation.

It is us as the viewers who have seen her from the start and already know about her mother's death and we see her talking to multiple people about it. Which is why it might come across as repetitive to some people.

While, Kya's death is not necessary information that everyone needs to know, Katara talking about it never comes across as a forced or unnatural.

2. Katara invalidates others' pain because she thinks she has suffered the most:

First of all, if anything, Katara is the most empathetic person of them all. As the mom-friend of the group, not only is she their constant moral support, she also helps them untangle and sort out their own feelings. She is also able to tap into issues that aren't said out loud.

Instances of Katara helping and supporting Aang, emotionally are uncountable.

She is the first one to notice Sokka's sour mood in B3 Ep4 "Sokka's Master". And even though his insecurities seem baseless, she validates him (by saying "I'm sorry you're feeling so down" instead of something like "That's a dumb thing to say") and knows exactly what to do to cheer him up.

In B3 Ep7 "The Runaway" she has the insight to understand that Toph's unruly behaviour is caused by the mixed feelings she has about her parents even though Toph's herself never talked about it.

She even reaches out to Zuko in B2 Ep19 "Crossroads of Destiny" even though she used to think of him as the face of the enemy.

But then there's The Southern Raiders.

Ah yes, that episode where Katara is extremely OOC and a total b*tch.

Agreed that she said some things that she definitely shouldn't have said. But like, she's just 14?? And has been hurting on the inside since she was 8?? And pretended to be fine just for the sake of other people?? Like, there's a limit to how much she can have her shit under control?? And she did a real good job of Sokka's upbringing and taking care of the village and taking care of Gaang on her own?? Some people out there are really willing to forget everything she has ever done just because she was mean for 5 minutes?? A traumatised 14 yo shouldn't be villianised and called toxic because she got mad and lashed out at people that one time??

But here's my take on the scene anyway:

When Aang gets to know that she's going to go face her mother's killer:

Aang: Um ... and what exactly do you think this will accomplish?

Katara: I knew you wouldn't understand.

Aang is a non-confrontational person who prefers running away from difficult situations as opposed to Katara who firmly stands her ground and is never afraid of confrontations. Katara had approached Aang only hoping that he would understand. But going by his dismissal, he obviously doesn't understand the burning need that she has to confront the man who had single-handedly destroyed her childhood. (Most people infer that what Katara means is that she thinks that Aang doesn't understand the pain of losing people. And so does Aang, I guess)

But things start getting even more tricky when:

Aang: Katara, you sound like Jet.

In all honesty, this is probably the most insensitive thing that she could've heard from anyone right then, let alone one of her closest friends. Hearing herself being compared to a homicidal maniac just because she wants to avenge her mother's killer. (No, I'm not justifying murder but there's a clear difference between homicide and avenging someone's death. And Aang may not be my favourite character but I do love him but this wasn't really a good thing to say either. And he wasn't even mentally distressed in the very least to be completely lacking tact or a filter.)

And then the situation escalates:

Sokka: Katara, she was my mother, too, but I think Aang might be right.

Katara: Then you didn't love her the way I did!

After 6 long years of Katara bottling in her dark feelings and letting them fester inside herself, she is finally letting them out and the first things she faces in a span of few minutes are outright rejection, invalidation of her feelings, comparison to a homicidal maniac and nothing akin to the unconditional support that she has provided to everybody. Her own brother tells her that he is siding with the boy who just compared her to a homicidal maniac.

Yes, accusing your own brother of not loving your mother enough is a very cruel thing to do. But both Sokka and Katara know that she doesn't entirely mean it.

But also, there is one very important factor in here:

In B3 Ep7 "The Runaway", Sokka says to Toph:

Sokka: I'm gonna tell you something crazy. I never told anyone this before, but honestly? I'm not sure I can remember what my mother looked like. It really seems like my whole life, Katara's been the one looking out for me. She's always been the one that's there. And now, when I try to remember my mom, Katara's is the only face I can picture.

Katara overhears this conversation just as Sokka had meant her to.

This dialogue lets us know that Sokka's coping mechanism has made him suppress all memories of Kya and replace them with memories of Katara in order to attain a semblance of normalcy.

Both Katara and Sokka had very different ways of coping with Kya's death. Katara pressed down her feelings and tried her best to pretend to ignore them while Sokka partially succeeded in forgetting her.

When Katara first hears these words she is shown to be crying. But if she were to remember these very words while she was justifying herself infront of her own brother and a close friend for wanting to avenge her mother, it would've had a negative impact on her.

In her rage, she would've thought: "Of course he doesn't want to avenge mom. Because he doesn't think it's worth it and that's because he doesn't even remember enough of her to be mad about her death."

And for someone who has spent each day of the last 6 years trying to fill in the shoes of her mother and experiencing her absence everyday, the idea of forgetting her mother is a ridiculous concept to her.

Her thoughts would have quickly derailed to: "He didn't love her enough to remember her."

In light of these thoughts, saying "Then you didn't love her the way I did" doesn't feel out of the blue.

No, I am definitely not justifying what she said, I'm just laying out a possible explanation to why she said what she said.

Yes, she should've apologized to Sokka for this and I think that they definitely should've had a long conversation about their mother's death and how it affected them. Between Katara supressing her feelings and Sokka supressing his memories, i don't think they ever had this conversation.

But sadly we are given neither of these scenes.

Tl;dr: Everytime Katara mentions her mother, it's with good reason and I don't think it's fair to call a character toxic when they lack a mind to mouth filter for 5 minutes and say some mean things. And considering all that Katara has done for everybody, it isn't fair at all.

Peace out!

#antis really be out there ignoring everything she does to hate on her because of two lines she said #nvm katara is one strong badass girl stan her for good grades and clear skin #katara #atla #atla meta #meta analysis #avatar the last airbender #water tribe #kya #sokka #hakoda #gaang #atla gaang #avatar gaang #zuko #aang #toph #ira's posts

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agentwallflower · 4 years

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Supernova, Chapter 1

Hey, here we are again!

I have a headache and I got rejected from UFO, so... good thing I had a backlog because I had zero energy to write this week! Yay! Remember to stay inside, folks! Essential workers like me don’t wanna see you.

Next chapter goes up May 2nd. I’m gonna go work on my nano now and continue to drown my sorrows in coke zero.

Also if you enjoyed the chapter and want to contribute to my coke zero addiction, my Ko-Fi is here! Thanks, and I’ll see you guys in two weeks.

Nothing like waking up face first on the ground to make you appreciate not having your face shoved into the ground.

“Andy, you better be out of bed!”

Technically, Andromeda Noble was... half? Out of bed. It was hard to figure out fractions when her face was down and her ass was in the air like that. It took her a few moments to have enough consciousness to right herself, but once she did, half was a pretty decent estimate of how she had come to that morning.

What the hell she had been doing to wind up that way, however, was beyond her.

“I'm up, Mom!” Her deep voice boomed through the floor as she stood and glanced around the room she called her own. It had at one point been attic storage for her family. In some cases, it still was – only the thing it happened to be storing was her and what her mother considered a more than healthy dose of teenage angst. The joke was on her, of course – she was 20. No more teens years left there.

Her mother's annoyed tone also carried through the wood like tar bubbling through the cracks. “Less attitude, more getting dressed! If you make your sister late-”

Andy tuned the rest out in favor of scrounging around her bedroom floor for mostly clean clothes. Sure, she heard the increasingly annoyed comments coming from the floor below, but they were meaningless sounds to her. It was a talent she had honed over the years: the sacred art of in one ear and out the other when it came to the woman.

While sun streamed through the attic window, she held up a pair of suspicious jeans and gave them the once over. Neither of her sisters would have been OK with it, but they weren't the ones wearing them. Soon she was, and after finding a shirt to match it was a matter of grabbing her bag to head down the stairs.

“Hope you're doing alright today, old man.” She patted a bear on her desk as she reached for a necklace hanging from its outstretched palm. In places, it was tattered, and its soft fur was more than a little threadbare at this point where someone had torn it and made a clumsy repair. It still held its plush shield just fine, which was good enough for her. With that little ritual, down the stairs she went with heavy footsteps.

The bathroom mirror showed a blank expression and eyes that tried to stare straight through the glass. The few people Andy interacted with sometimes called her gaze intimidating. Of course, that was when they were being nice. Mostly, it was creepy. Of course, that was her face so there wasn't much she could do about it.

“Well, here goes.” Andy threw the necklace over her head and settled it into place. After a quick check of her teeth, everything looked to be as it should. “Alright. Looks like I'm good to go then.”

With that, she swung the door open and exited the bathroom. As she did, she caught faint, subtle strains of conversation coming down from the living room. From the sounds of things, her mother and older sister were having a conversation.

That hadn't taken long.

“I already told you, I have something to do! You take her!”

“We've been over this, I'm already late to work!”

Ah, the usual debate. Andy leaned on the handrail as she leaned over to listen. From where she was standing, she could see the rest of her family arguing at the front door over who got custody of her for the day. From the sound of things, her mother was winning.

Her mother always did – she could scream louder.

She could practically picture her sister rolling her eyes as she grabbed for her keys. “Whatever, next time you take her.”

“Watch the attitude, I let you live here for free.” Andy had to duck behind the wall as her mother turned on her heel. “Andy, you better be down in two minutes or else! Don't make me come up there!”

And do what, try to drag her down the stairs? Now that would be a sight to see. However, Andy wasn't in the mood to make her mother angrier than she was. After all, their youngest sister had the right to a decent day. So she started down the stairs after a delay. It was easier to act.

“I'm ready, Mom.”

“Next time get up when I call you.” Amanda Nobel, mother, lawyer, and major source of stress, was already out the door. “Sara, we'll talk about this when I get home tonight.”

The door slammed shut behind her, leaving the siblings alone. The room's temperature dropped five degrees as her older sister rounded on her. At least some of her annoyance was gone. Their mother leaving helped with that.

That probably wasn't a good sign, but what did she know?

“Took you long enough.” Sara was a med student, and kind of a pain in her nonexistent ass, but that was what family did. “Shouldn't it take you like two seconds to get ready?”

Andy rolled her eyes as she walked past her sister. “Wanted to look nice for you and the eggheads at the lab I guess. You don't have your study group today anyway.”

Her sister was soon on her heels, and Andy could almost feel the heat radiating off her face as they headed towards the way out. “I have... something to do today.”

Judging from that tone of voice, that something was more of a someone. Well, she wasn't about to spill those beans, not to her mother. Still, it was good dirt that she was more than happy to save away for the moment. Later, she would share it with their youngest sibling. After all, both of them deserved to benefit from the juicy details.

Sara stopped to grab her lunch and toss Andy hers with a practiced throw. “A thank you would be nice, you know..I don't have to take you to the lab every day. ”

Her younger sibling shrugged her shoulders – or at least tried to as she tucked her lunch in her bag. “You kind of do if mom can't take me. Not like I'm allowed to leave the house without someone watching me.”

It wasn't like she particularly liked being under constant watch, but it was just part of her life. Over the years, she had hoped for it to lessen, but it had only gotten worse the older she got. Now it was just an unpleasant reality she dealt with by employing a healthy dose of sarcasm whenever someone asked her about it.

Of course, since she really only talked to scientists and her family on the regular, most of them were immune to it by now. Oh well, the new techs were always fun to sass when they were getting their lab legs. It was her one pleasure in life.

“Ugh, whatever.” A clear sign she had won that one. “Come on, we need to leave so we can beat the traffic to the lab. Try not to put a dent in the roof of the car this time, will you?”

“I make no promises.”

Andy was soon out the door, into a bright day with clear blue skies and a warm breeze that blew as she walked. Her flight of freedom was just a short walk to her sister's car – before she knew it, she was sliding in. At least she hadn't dented the hood this time.

In her defense... she put it back the last time just fine?

Sara slid into the driver's seat in order to get things going. Both of them caught sight of their mother's car as she disappeared down the road, going slightly above the speed limit. If that wasn't a sign she was going to be a real delight when she got home that night, Andy didn't know what would be. Maybe she should stay up in the attic when she got home...

Andy shot her sister a look. ”She seems cheerful this morning.”

The ghost of a smile flitted across Sara's lips as she started the car. “'I'll tell you when I can't see her anymore, you know she can hear a mouse fart.”

Andy's body shook as they pulled away from the curb and started down the road that would take them to the city. If she had been anyone else, that would have been an all out doubled over laughing fit. However, she couldn't, so it wasn't. The shaking was good enough for her anyway.

Her sister cast a glance at her when they stopped at a red light a few minutes down the road. “You know Jen's recital is coming up, right?”

“Shit, really?” Andy glanced out the window, at the cars around them. Better than to see the frustration in her sister's eyes. “Are you going to be able to make it?”

Sara sighed and shook her head in response. “I don't think so, I have work and I can't get anyone to cover my shift.”

Andy's shoulders drooped as she leaned back in the seat. “And I'm not allowed to go out without someone keeping an eye on me. If Mom can't go, and Aunt Miri has temple...”

A cold sensation dropped to the pit of her stomach. Their youngest sister, the one she was probably the most fond of honestly, was one of the best dancers she had ever seen. Of course, she was probably the only dancer she had ever seen through a shaky phone screen, but that didn't matter. Jen was good, and she deserved to have someone there to watch her.

Damn it all... she wanted to go.

“Welcome to what what me and mom had an argument over last night if you didn't hear us through the floor.” Sara adjusted the mirror as traffic picked up. There were more cars now as they were drawing closer to the exit for the city. “I mean, you're 20. You should be able to go places on your own.”

Her older sister was starting to pick at a wound that never got the chance to scab over at that point. Andy could hear their mother's arguments ringing through her head as she leaned her head against the glass. Something about the vibrations from the car helped settle the cold feeling, but it never really left her. By now she figured it was her version of being depressed.

“I know.”

This was probably where she would have sighed, but... it was complicated. Instead, she shrugged her shoulders once more. “But we all had the damn rules drilled into our heads about what I can and can't do.”

She could recite them by heart – no going out unless it was with someone on a very small approved list. No internet use unless it was monitored. And most of all, don't do anything stupid. That last one was a bit vague, but it was the one her mother harped on the most for some reason.

Like she even had the chance to be stupid...

“Hey, you OK? Feels like it dropped five degrees in here.”

Andy picked up her head to see Sara was looking over at her. Normally that would have been dangerous, but the car was stopped in the midst of a lovely traffic jam. Now while she didn't have her license – another point on the cannot do list – she was pretty sure that was safe.

Mostly. It was hard to tell some times with how her mother drove. The woman had never seen a speed limit she didn't break.

“Huh?” She shrugged. “I mean... not really. It's kind of annoying being taken everywhere like I'm 5. I know you guys hate doing it, and it's not like I enjoy having to stay home while kids half my age can go outside and do shit.”

Sara frowned at her reaction. “I don't mi-”

Andy's shoulders shook with her version of a bitter laugh. “Yes you do, everyone does. I'm not dumb like Mom thinks I am.”

Her older sister flinched, but she didn't pull away. “I mean... well yeah, it's kind of weird you can't go out and all.”

Weird was putting it mildly.

At least Sara had the good grace to keep her eyes on the road ahead of them at that point. Andy was glad for that as she rested her head back against the glass. Traffic was going even slower now – close to a complete stop. On such a busy road it wasn't unusual, but something about it felt... off.

Maybe that was why the med student fished her phone out of her pocket and handed it over to Andy. “I'm watching what you do. Can you check to see if there's an alert?”

Andy's fingers were a blur as she unlocked the phone.. Almost immediately, a warning sound echoed from the phone's speakers. Text flickered across the screen, scrolling in red and white. Until she turned the device upside-down, it meant nothing to her. Once it was properly aligned...

“Ah, shit.”

Sara winced as she placed a hand over her forehead. “Don't tell me...”

“Downtown's all tied up because Cryojolt turned the roads into a skating rink. Citizens are advised to stay in their houses and not cause trouble.” Andy held up the phone to where a live news broadcast was starting to play.

Some brave cameraman had gotten close enough to the action to show their loyal viewers that half the shopping district was covered in a thick layer of ice that wasn't even close to melting despite the heat. A few cars were frozen feet in the air, as if blown up by water that quickly turned to ice. It looked beautiful, but in reality it was a nightmare for everyone involved.

“Great.” Sara groaned and laid her head on the steering wheel. “We're going to be stuck here forever.”

Andy handed her phone back without prompting. “At least now you can tell me about that guy you're hiding from Mom.”

After all, they were about to be stuck in a car with each other for quite a long time. Might as well make things interesting.

#Supernova Collision Trilogy

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soflsms · 5 years

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( sorry I'm late to the party im in pst so i was at work til now sdkfjl ) ANYWHO hi pals what the h*ck is up !! im chloe , im 21 , i use she / her pronouns & im a broke a$$ geography major !! i am SO excited to be her & get to rp with all y’all bc judging by your apps skdflj i fuck with u all . anywho ill stop my rambling , below the readmore is stuff about sofie & some wcs !!

trigger warning !! sex work , deportation , neglect , bad writing , alcoholism & substance abuse

HAILEY BALDWIN / SHE/HER / TWENTY TWO / BILLIE EILISH VC

welcome to los angeles , sofie almeda ! the glitterati has been watching you . rumour has it you made your first mark in the industry two years ago & that your net worth currently stands at 8m . it seems as though you’re enjoying being a singer since relocating from harlem , new york city . some might say you’d be a good fit for the glitterati due to your hollywood ranking being a solid #3, & it helps that fans speak so highly of your individualistic & assiduous ways . unfortunately , our sources cite that those closest to you aren’t particularly impressed with your self-destructive & choleric tendencies .

stats

name : sofie sydney almeda

nicknames : sof

age : twenty - two .

birthday : december eleventh .

zodiac : sagittarius .

gender : cisfemale ( though doesn’t vibe with the idea of being STRICTLY a WoMaN , she finds labels restrictive ) .

pronouns : she & her .

height : 5 ′ 6 ″ .

hometown : recife , brazil & harlem , new york city .

nationality : american , brazilian .

ethnicity : english , portuguese .

label(s) : the venereal , the bellwether , the opulent , the anaxiphile .

occupation : singer ( vc billie eilish ) .

quirks : fidgeting , allergic to shellfish , walks quickly , cracks knuckles , always wears her lucky ‘ st christopher ’ necklace from her grandmother , has a weird ability to talk herself out of trouble , can tie a cherry stem in her mouth , messy emotionally but on - point physically , vvv bad driver , loves a good theme party , can’t get through the day without multiple cups of coffee , refuses to wear glasses in public even though she’s quite far - sighted , always carries hand sanitizer , prefers rain over sunshine .

background

her mother , marcia almeda , was a recent graduate from secondary school who packed a backpack and went traveling !! before long tho she ended up knocked up by another backpacker , this one american , while they were having a fling in sydney ( hence sofie’s middle name lmao @ her mom’s humor ) . she flew back home when she found out & never told sofie’s father oops !! so marcia had sofie at home in recife just before her nineteenth birthday , and marcia was enthralled w little sofie . ofc she inherited her mother’s beauty ( i hc marcia looks like alessandra ambrosio bc hello ! ) & little sofie lived a happy early childhood life in her grandparents’ home in recife.

brazil isn’t the safest of countries & marcia didn’t want the same dangers she experienced growing up for her young daughter , so around sofie’s eighth birthday , her & her mother packed up and went on a ‘ trip ’ to new york city . joke’s on sofie , though - it wasn’t actually a trip , but rly they were trying to move there to find sofie’s father to confirm his paternity and get sofie american citizenship . it was proving more difficult than she thought , & marcia was quickly running out of money . with a face like hers , though , making money wasn’t too difficult , but it was time consuming . marcia found herself escorting older men in order to pay the bills , all the while leaving little sofie to fend for herself . some of her earliest memories are of strange men in ��their tiny apartment & sofie trying to block out their conversations with her lil cassette player hiding in the corner of her room . eventually , marcia was able to contact the father & they set up a meeting . sofie had gotten her hopes up that she would finally have a dad ( she got dressed up in her sunday best & everything bc reuniting her dad was a BIG deal ) , but the meeting ended up being a quick exchange of words , a mouth swab and a couple signatures . sofie never even learned his name , & this queued up a lifetime of daddy issues & distrust of men !!

while marcia was able to stay in america much longer than she was legally supposed to , eventually she was facing deportation , which meant lil sofie , with her citizenship finally confirmed , was put into the hands of her father who sent off to an american boarding school in new york without even contacting her . she would spend the summers in brazil with her mother or , as she got older , couch - surfing with different friends throughout the months . she started growing apart from her mother as she aged since she wasn’t going home every summer since she didn’t rly feel any connection to brazil . her grandfather had passed away & she only has faint memories grandmother , plus the city wasn’t at all familiar to her & she wasn’t practicing her portuguese after her mother returned to brazil .

through it all , music was proving to be the one constant in her life she could use to escape from reality . she had never done any training or classes , but she just liked singing along to whatever was on the radio & practicing on her own . she also found a passion for writing poetry which she later would realize was compatible with music . she would spend HOURS in the school library working on garage band lmfao bc she couldn’t afford her own laptop to produce music & her dad sent just enough money as he was legally supposed to . but she worked her lil tushy off & applied to a music academy in nyc & was rejected the first year ( DEVASTATING when mixed with her impostor syndrome & daddy issues ) but she practiced more & more & edned up getting accepted the next year . here , she worked on her vocal skills & music production , & started accumulating her own music & selling songs to music producers on the side for some ca$h money .

by the time she was 16 the state decided she was old / mature enough to live on her own so she got a TINY lil studio apartment in harlem where she’d grown up with her mum & she had friends who she’d grown up with . while it wasn’t the safest neighbourhood statistically sofie felt safe & just like one of the neighbourhood kids . it was the first time she genuinely felt like she belonged .

she was accepted on full scholarship to nyu & majored in music composition & vocal performance where she started finally feeling secure in herself & released her own music on soundcloud , quickly amassing a following & becoming an ‘ up & coming ‘ artist !! she was contacted by a scooter braun type guy who was interested in taking her on under his management so she dropped out of uni in her 2nd year ( bc tbh her grades in anything other than her music classes were v subpar ) . soon enough producers wanted to work with her & she was making enough that she didn’t have to sell her songs which she hated doing but had to pay the bills u know . oh & her vc is billie eilish bc ofc shes my queen go stream when we all fall asleep where do we go on spotify u won’t be disappointed

she also started getting into the partying scene here yikes !! it was a method for her to numb all her pain from her past & impostor syndrome & drown all that out in pills or tequila . it rly wasn’t healthy bc of how she would binge for a weekend then try to stay sober throughout the week but failing by about wednesday when she started to feel hollow . she wasn’t gonna be a one hit wonder & her mom sure as hell didn’t go through all that trouble just for sofie to be a nobody addict !! so she kept it together enough to start making big bucks & well ……. here she is :~)

personality

sofie blames it on her brazilian heritage but this bitch loves a party !! like shes the one who gets happy drunk at the pre then is the first on the dance floor then later falls out of the club & into some rando’s bed !! in the back of her mind she knows her drug & alcohol use is self - destructive but she figures shes allowed to let loose sometimes ( even if that ends up being most nights ) ; rly she’s just in denial bc she doesn’t want to change her ways & lose her identity !!

doesn’t put labels on her gender identity or sexual orientation . she finds them restrictive & useless for herself , labels would only be to satisfy others . she doesn’t see herself as 110% female either like she’s all about gender being a social construct / a spectrum ; some days she’ll get dolled up & wear heavy makeup & six inch heels , some days she’ll walk around in a bun & tracksuit & trainers . anyone who asks abt it will swiftly get 2 middle fingers in their face !! shes uncontrollable i swear

puts up a tough bad - ass front like billie does aksjdh like nah nothing can hurt me im bulletproof !! but is rly just kinda broken underneath . she doesn’t even let her closest friends know how hurting she is bc she doesn’t wanna burden them . she rly uses mmusic as an outlet tho so she’ll act totally tough then go to the studio & record all about her heartache . will NEVER let someone see her cry no matter how close she is with them . she rly sees it as a sign of weakness & shes in a much better place than she was 5 years ago so she figures she’s not ALLOWED to feel anything but grateful .

this bitch overthinks everything !! half the time she isn’t rly listenning to whoever bc she’s thinking about what they just said & if they’re mad with her . she’s that friend who will ask u to come over to formulate the perfect text response & fuss over it for hours . that being said , if someone talks shit abt anyone shes tight with , they’re gonna get it the next time she sees them . she isn’t about violence & would never get into a physical fight , but she’d work behind the scenes to ruin their life . but then she pretends like she rly doesn’t care though its obvious to those close to her that she cares way too much

has a very hard time expressing love bc she didn’t have much practice w it growing up . she was on her own most of her young life so even if her mom would tell her te amo she would be like uh huh gtg bye !!

tldr ; poor bitch w abandonment issues who was able to get out of it by channeling her energy into music & numbing the stress with pills or alcohol which she def still overuses but she doesn’t think its a problem !! yikeroony !! loves partying & having a good time , puts up a tough front but is rly soft underneath .

wanted (* = mw)

friends from high school !! - people sof stayed with in the summer bc she wasn’t going home to brazil .

friends ��from music school !! - she def felt like an outsider among the music prodigies at this school , & maybe this person was one of the ppl she actually connected with .

come out & play !! this person acts as a good influence to sofie . they’re level - headed & very grounding , & sofie doesn’t let it show but they’re really important to her . this is the Softest billie song ( prob bc it was for an ad skdj ) & they inspired it bc it’s how she feels when shes with them . they encourage her to be all that she can be & they believe in her , & they’re prob the one person sofie trusts the most which is SAYING something !!

*exes on bad terms !! - ok this would basically be based on all the songs billie has about a failed relationship / heartbreak !! shes got a bunch . im thnking maybe she was actually rly into them but had a hard time expressing it bc she’s never been good with emotional expression , & it led to the relationship feeling ?? unfaithful / disconnected ?? idk but she rly loved them & is still nursing that heartbreak . ( x , x , x )

the paris to her nicole !! - ok i f*cking hate that i said this but she’s nicole richie its true !! she needs a messy gal pal exactly like how paris & nicole are i stan them ( x , x , x )

roommate !! - bc of her abandonment issues she rly doesn’t like living alone so prob is the roomie who will sleep in their bed from time to time bc she doesn’t like being totally alone .

*when the party’s over !! - these two have been hooking up for a while no strings attached but recently feelings have been caught !! & now they still hook up quite often but sofie’s kinda harboring feelings & pretending all is well but she rly hopes they’ll just stay the night from time to time , & gets secretly heartbroken when she sees them flirting or leaving with someone else . they can also have feelings if u want that angst :~)

fwb !! - sofie is pretty transparent when it comes to what she wants & she’s got a bad habit of replacing dealing with problems with getting laid !! like u know in movies when the man opens his wallet and a row of like 20 pictures of different women fall out ?? that’s sof’s aesthetic . she’s got a bunch of fwb of all genders so bring me some pls

***mutual dislike / copycat !! self - explanatory , sofie thinks this person is copying her in everything she does & thinks its annoying af so she wrote a song abt it & hopes they indirectly get the message even if she drops not so subtle hints . skfldjh itd be messy pls !!

party buddies !! - someone who encourages sofies wild ways . when the two get together its usually to get drunk or high & thats the way they like it . sofie doesn’t feel judged by them as she does by others who don’t get obliterated at every social event ( what an idea !! ) so she rly values them , even if she doesn’t express it

** 8 !! - someone who kinda reluctantly got into a relationship with sofie out of maybe a desire to save her from herself ?? like u know that good girl bad boy trope where the girl tries to save the boy from whatever he’s struggling with ? that’s them but the roles are just reversed - good guy , bad girl . it was kinda just filled w her being self - destructive & confiding in him but not rly reciprocating the care so he became kinda distant bc of it . tbh she prob knew he was too good for her but had a sliver of hope he wouldn’t leave her even tho eventually she became too much for him . ( lyrics : you said, "don't treat me badly", but you said it so sadly, so I did the best I could, not thinkin' you would have left me gladly. i know you're not sorry, why should you be? 'cause who am I to be in love, when your love never is for me?” )

good influence !! this person can tell that her beahvior is unhealthy & are trying to gently nudge her abt it . she can tell what they’re doing but her addict brain is telling her its invasive & threatening so shes not the fondest of this person , but deep down she really appreciates them

music buddies !! these two are both in the music industry & rather than it being competitive , they’ve developed a friendship from it & enjoy working together .

* someone sofie ghostwrites for !! for whatever reason , this muse doesn’t write their own songs & instead pays sofie to write them for them . she doesn’t love it but its a way to make money & give away songs she doesn’t feel attached to but are worth something . maybe its tense bc they claim the songs as their own & sofie doesn’t like it , this could be ~escandolo~ later !!

*** my boy ( high school bf ) !! - ok tea this song is the one that broke her into the industry . she produced it all herself & just relased it to her soundcloud thinking it wouldn’t rly go anyway but !! joke’s on yung sofie . essentially he thought the relationship was going well , she’d met his family & they rly liked her but !! sof was feeling kinda smothered & told herself he was lying & cheating on her n shit so she wrote a song about it !! & once it was starting to get attention he was like ….. uhhh what the fuck & she was like haha sorry !! so they broke up & ever since its been animosity , but she realizes she fucked up but it launched her career so she doesn’t know whether to keep up the idgaf i hurt you or apologize .

* ex - friends !! ok pls i have this hc where sofie got way too high one night & slept with this person’s dad or sibling or smth !! u know that line in ‘ bad guy ’ where she goes ‘ might seduce your dad type ? ’ ya that’s got sofie written ALL over it !! & now they’re not friends bc sofie can’t keep it in her pants but both sides kinda misses the other but are too stubborn to say anything :~(

exes from college / high school !! - ok honestly i just love all the exes plots . gimme someone who like maybe they were hooking up & decided to give it a shot dating & it worked for a while but ultimately fell apart bc of sof’s inability to open up. maybe theres still tension or maybe theyre friends now !!

* lovely !! - i need a male voice for khalid’s part in lovely bc i need this song in my life bc its a whole ass sofie mood ok .

i’ve also got a wanted connections tag linked HERE dksfj there's not much in it yet but feel free to check it out . ok i love y'all

#glitterati.intro #excited to be here :~)

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hotshirtstoreonline · 3 years

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Fibromyalgia Awareness If Only Pain Was A Visible Thing I Can Promise You You Would Treat Me Differently T-shirt

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shirttrendingshoponline · 3 years

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Fibromyalgia Awareness If Only Pain Was A Visible Thing I Can Promise You You Would Treat Me Differently T-shirt

Fibromyalgia Awareness If Only Pain Was A Visible Thing I Can Promise You You Would Treat Me Differently Classic Women's

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