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#here is ur sex complicates everything callback elke muah <3
chronicowboy · 1 year
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this is a silly little ficlet inspired by and written for @danielsousa my beloved <3
When Buck pulls up outside Eddie's house, he turns the engine off. He shouldn't. There's no reason to really. He's just dropping Eddie off. Only Eddie makes no move to get out of the Jeep for the thirty seconds they idle in the driveway. He just stares at his front door like its a particularly difficult math equation he has no intention of solving. So, Buck turns the engine off.
The sudden silence is almost suffocating, the tension between them pulled taut from their night of trash talk that had veered further towards flirting the longer the night went on - the more chips Buck lost to Eddie at the poker table.
When Eddie looks at him, something calculating and pleading in his eyes, Buck's chest tightens in anticipation of what's to come.
"I think," Eddie tilts his head, narrows his eyes slightly, "you should walk me to the door."
"Okay," Buck says softly, his heart making up for all the beats it had missed after the lightning strike. He unbuckles his seatbelt and reaches for the door, but Eddie's hand lands on his knee and aborts the movement into a twitch of fingers.
For a moment, they do nothing but stare down at the point of contact like its a disaster waiting to happen. Buck stares until he finds the courage to meet Eddie's eyes and finds him already looking back. He swallows thickly. Eddie retracts his hand. The absence of his touch burns like acid.
"I think I'm going to start dating again," Eddie murmurs into the darkness of the Jeep.
Buck doesn't remember what it felt like to fall off the top of the ladder, he doesn't remember the brief weightlessness or the snap of the slack line when he reached its end, he was already dead. But he thinks it must have felt something like this because his stomach floats for a beat before dropping like a hunk of lead.
"Oh, that's..." He inhales, holds, exhales. "Good for you, man."
Eddie's eyes flick over his face, desperate and searching, a little frantic about it. If Buck didn't know better, if he allowed himself to feel the heady intoxication of whatever it was they'd been doing all night, he'd think Eddie was begging him to object.
But then, he nods and climbs out of the Jeep.
It takes Buck a moment to remember he's supposed to walk him to the door. He staggers out onto the driveway on unsteady legs, the gravel like slick metal rungs under his feet, and drifts effortlessly to Eddie's side. Their shoulders bump just like always and then they're moving towards the door, the fifteen familiar yards stretching into a mile hike.
Eddie unlocks the door with careful movements, but he pauses halfway to the handle. He turns, takes a step towards Buck, stares.
Buck fights the urge to itch the fading scars on his shoulders, sparks of electricity tingling under his skin at the weight of Eddie's eyes on him.
"A-any ideas how you're gonna get back into dating?" Buck asks, just as desperate as Eddie's eyes had been.
"Not really," Eddie says evenly. "I know dating apps are a thing but..."
"Not your thing," Buck snorts. "I can just imagine you matching with a Hildy and throwing your phone at the wall."
"Yeah, yeah, laugh it up, Flash." Eddie shakes his head with a chuckle, looks back at Buck from under his eyelashes. Buck's breath catches deep in his chest. "I meant more because dating apps are like for hook-ups, right?"
"Some, not all," Buck says simply because he had not once considered their night would end like this, with Buck explaining the intricacies of modern dating to his... To Eddie.
"Its just difficult, you know?" Eddie sighs, falls back against the wall next to the door. "Attraction's always been difficult for me."
"Yeah?" Buck raises an eyebrow, half curiousity, half surprise.
"Its like..." He sighs, deep and heavy. "I don't know. With Shannon, we were friends first and then I started noticing her as more than that. And Ana was... Well," he grimaces, "I'm not entirely sure I was ever attracted to her." Eddie's eyes light up with something thoughtful. "I'm pretty sure the only person I've ever known I was attracted to is..." Eddie snaps his mouth shut suddenly, his gaze drifting over Buck's shoulder.
Buck nods. He doesn't know what it means.
There have been a hundred moments tonight, a hundred moments imbued with something intentional, a hundred moments that felt like the edge of something. This moment feels like the tip of the blade they're both balancing on.
"Sex complicates everything," Buck breathes, an echo of a long ago moment when the worst thing they'd been through together was the hour-long line at Santa's grotto filled with handsy moms and snotty children.
"Yeah," Eddie murmurs, eyes dropping to Buck's lips, just for a second. "Yeah, I guess it does." He stares once again, with those dark, desperate eyes. And then, "night, Buck."
Eddie slips through the front door, and the click of the lock has Buck losing his footing on the knife edge he's been abandoned on.
He should move, should climb into his Jeep and drive back to his loft. He should drink a glass of water, wash the night off him and get some rest. He should, should, should. But he's so fucking tired of doing what he thinks he should. For once, for once, he wants to do what he fucking wants.
And right now there's only one thing he wants.
Buck takes one step, two, three. He raises his fist to knock on the door just as it swings open.
And, stood there like every one of Buck's dreams come true, is a wild and warm-eyed Eddie.
They stare, Eddie glances down at Buck's lips, and they reach for each other as synchronised as they are in everything else. They collide, a tangle of lips and longing and teeth and desire and tongues and yearning, a culmination of a night of lingering looks and flighty touches, a crescendo to a five-year masterpiece of trust and intimacy.
Eddie pulls Buck into his home with hot, clinging hands. Buck follows, as he always does, like a moth to a flame.
Sex may complicate everything, but right then and there, there's nothing quite as simple as want.
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