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annebethchase · 4 years

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❝ It was always Anne ❞

F a n d o m : Anne with an E

P a i r i n g : Shirbert

W a r n i n g s : spoilers for 3x08 !

✕ ✕ ✕

Bash eyed Gilbert suspiciously across the table, not saying anything.

He looked sick as he played with the food in his plate, not really eating any of it. The bags unde his eyes were deeper than usual and he looked white as a sheet. He clearly hand’t slept at all.

“Doesn’t Mr. Blythe like his breakfast this morning?” his mother asked worriedly, turning her attention from Delphine. “I can make something else if he’d like.”

Gilbert seemed to snap out of his thoughts.

Blinking up in confusion, he furrowed his brows at the woman.

“Oh, it all looks delicious. I just… uhm…” he mumbled. “I’m not exactly-”

“Mother, would you please be so kind to leave us a moment alone?” Bash interrupted him.

His mother widened her eyes at him, but she simply nodded, pursing her lips. She took Delphine and left the room without another word.

When Bash turned to Gilbert, he was back in his bubble, his eyes empty as he stared at the table.

Bash reached out and placed his hand upon his, making him look up at him.

He wasn’t too younger than him, but right there and then, Bash could see nothing but a scared kid sitting in front of him.

“Nobody is forcing you to propose.” he said as softly as he could.

Gilbert bit his lip.

“I know.” he replied, voice hoarse.

“Are you sure this is the right thing?”

Gilbert looked down and Bash followed his gaze. When he noticed what he was looking at, his heart sank a little.

The recipe book Anne had made for Delphine.

Bash didn’t know what exactly had happened between the two of them, but he could see that Gilbert was devasted, He didn’t believe Winifred and the Sorbonne could mend his broken heart, but he’d decided he would support his friend’s decision regardless.

“Yes. I’m sure.” Gilbert said, steadier this time, standing up and walking towards the sink, his back facing Bash.

“Do you want me to come with you to Charlottetwon?” he asked.

After a brief moment of silence, Gilbert turned and gave him a shaky smile.

“That would be a great help.”

✕ ✕ ✕

“You cannot just give up now!”

“I’m not giving up!” Anne almost screamed, turning her back to Diana and storming to the window.

“Yes, you are.” her friend said subbornly. “And Anne Shirley-Cuthbert doesn’t give up. Ever.”

“I’m not giving up.” Anne repeated, turning to look at her. “I’m letting him go. I’m giving him the chance to have the life he desires. To study in the university he wants and have his dream job. I can’t offer him any of these things, Diana. She can. ”

Diana looked at her without saying anything, her expression something between anger and pity.

“You have so much to offer and you don’t even realize it.” she said softly.

“I have words to offer.” Anne replied bitterly. “Big ideas and big dreams. But no money or stabily to lead the life he’s supposed to lead. I would simply be holding him back.”

“Sometimes you can be so dense, Anne. So much for being the first of the class.”

“I’m sorry?”

Diana sighed and took her hands, leading her to the bed and making her sit.

“Listen, I think you got his words all wrong.” she said. “I don’t think he laid out what a perfect life he could have in Paris just to say that you’re keeping him from his dream, Anne.”

“And how would you interpret his words?”

“He was saying he would give it all up for you if he knew you loved him back. You are as important as his dream job, if not more. Why can’t you see it?”

For a moment, Anne forgot to how to breath.

Maybe Diana was right. His words could indeed be interpreted that way. He could have been saying he was willing to throw everything away for her.

Still, how could she keep him away from his dream now that he had a chance to finally make it come true?

“I can’t be that selfish.” she said, her voice unsteady, standing up. “He deserves this. I can’t take it away from him only because I-I don’t want to lose him.”

She heard Diana sigh heavily behind her.

“You’re not being selfish. You’re just denying both you and him the happiness you could have.”

✕ ✕ ✕

Gilbert felt sick to his stomach.

He was no expert in marriage proposals, but he doubted that was how he should feel on what was supposed to be one of the happiest days of his life.

He silently watched out of the window as the countryside run before him. He could feel Bash’s worried gaze on him, but he didn’t look up.

Was it really the right thing? Was he really making the best decision for his future?

You don’t want to be a country doctor. The Sorbonne is your dream. Winifred is lovely and her parents are supportive.

She’d laid it all out so perfectly it almost hurt.

He couldn’t get the picture of her dancing in the night out of his head, the flames reflecting the color of her wild loose hair blowing in the wind.

She’d been so beautiful. So beautiful and so impossible.

“-engangment party?”

Gilbert blinked, snapping out of his bubble and turning to Bash.

“What?”

“I said, do you have some ideas for the engangment party?”

He swallowed, feeling a knot in his stomach.

“I haven’t thought of anything yet.” he said, trying to cut the topic shortly.

Just as Bash was about to speak again, there was a loud whistle and the train, started slowing down.

Gilbert bit his lip at the sight of the ‘Charlottetown’ sign.

“Alright.” he said, shakily standing up. “Let’s go.”

“No kidding, you will have money to raise a dozen children.”

Gilbert glared at Bash who was watching the Roses house with wide eyes.

“Sorry.”

Gilbert just gave him a weak smile, turning to him and sighing.

“So, this is it.” Bash said, nodding.

“Seems like it.” Gilbert said, laughing under his breath.

It all felt so surreal. It was almost as if he wasn’t in complete control of his body.

“I’ll be waiting for you. Come look for me in the Bog when you’re finished, I was thinking about paying a visit to Mary’s friends.”

Mary. He would have given anything to have her as well by his side in that moment.

“You did bring the ring, didn’t you?”

Gilbert scoffed, rolling his eyes at him. He digged into the pocket of his coat, looking for little box he’d put his mother’s ring in.

But instead of the velvet box, his fingers touched something pointy and cold.

Frowning, he took it out and his breath instantly caught in his throat.

It was Anne’s pen. The one he’d borrowed from her at Miss Stacy’s place before the exams.

For a moment, everything that surrounded him disappeared as he looked at the tiny object in his hands.

Such a simple and small thing. He could almost still feel the warmth of her fingertips against his hand as she’d given it to him.

He could almost see her as she’d been that day, red hair glowing in the sun, nose buried deep in her book, brows furrowed together in concentration.

Be sure you marry for love.

Mary’s words resonated in his mind almost like a quiet prayer.

Wrong. This was all wrong.

He didn’t love Winifred. Not the way he loved Anne. It wasn’t fair to marry her. This wasn’t the path he was supposed to be taking.

It was always Anne. Yes, it had always been Anne indeed.

“You were right, Bash.” he finally said looking up.

“What?” Bash asked, glancing at the the pen in confusion.

“You were right about everything.”

✕ ✕ ✕

Empty.

That was how Anne felt as she stared at the steaming cup of tea in front of her. She couldn’t even bring it to her lips, her stomach tied in a tight knot.

That night, she couldn’t even bring herself to be delighted by the colorful shadows the setting sun casted on the walls of her room.

Suddenly, it looked grey around her, nothing really bringing her joy.

She’d been a child just a couple months before, and now she was sitting alone on her bed, her head heavy after crying for her lost love.

Despite the hurt, she knew she’d done the right thing. Gilbert deserved to be happy and follow his dreams in Paris, and if that meant being with another girl, then so be it.

Diana had pleaded her to run after him, to stop him before he could get on that train to Charlottetown, but she could never do such a thing to him. Now all she needed was to learn how to bury her feelings and be the supportive friend Gilbert deserved.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a sudden knock on the door.

She grunted and rolled her eyes as she stood up, starting for the door.

“Matthew, Marilla, how many times do I have to tell you?” she said. “I’m alright you don’t need to-”

She stopped as soon as she opened the door because it wasn’t Matthew or Marilla’s worried faces that greeted her this time.

It was Gilbert’s.

“Hi.” he simply said, giving her a weak smile.

Anne couldn’t bring herself to greet him back, her voice stuck in her throat.

She simply stared at him, her chest heavy. His curls were all messy, his cheeks red, lips slightly parted as he tried to catch his breath. Had he always been this handsome?

Anne cursed herself in her mind for never noticing what a great person she’d had by her side for years and years. If only she’d been less foolish and childish, things would be completely different now.

When she noticed the intensity with which he was looking at her, she felt the urge to lower her eyes to the ground.

“What are you doing here?” she asked, her voice more unsteady than she had hoped it would sound.

“Oh… uhm- I came to give this back.” he said, clearing his throat.

She bit her lip as she watched him pull out the pen she’d let him borrow that day at Miss Stacy’s place. She took it hesitantly, careful not to even brush her fingers against his.

“I-I hope it was of some help.” she stuttered, still not meeting his eyes. “During the uhm- exams.”

“It definitely was.” he said promptly.

Anne finally looked up at him, and she almost melted under his fond gaze. How could he look at her that way?

She felt tears sting the the corner of her eyes as a picture of him and Winifred together crossed her mind. He was engaged now for sure.

Sighing heavily, she took a step back from him, clutching the pen tightly.

“Thanks for bringing this back.” she said, hoping he would get it was his cue to leave.

Gilbert looked at her with a weird expressiom before he nodded and put his cap back on.

“I’ll see you around, then.” he said timidly.

No, I’ll make sure to steer clear for a while. She didn’t say it though.

She watched as he made his way down the alley, feeling as if he was taking a part of her heart away with him. Soon he’d be married, and there was nothing she could do about it.

He’d almost reached the stairs when he suddenly turned to her again.

“I didn’t propose.” he blurted out, his face suddenly red.

Anne felt all the air leave her lungs. She stumbled backwards and grabbed the door knob to steady herself.

Had she heard right?

“W-what?”

Gilbert walked forward slowly until he was standing right in front of her again.

“I didn’t propose to Winifred.” he repeated, swallowing.

Anne bit her lip, trying to calm down her heartbeat, her head spinning.

“But why?”

He didn’t answer her. He simply stared at her silently, his gaze flicking between her eyes and her lips.

“Why?” she asked again louder this time. “She’s an amazing girl, her parents could get you into the Sorbonne by fall. It was your dream, you had it all within reach, why would you ever even-”

“Because I don’t love her.” he interrupted her.

Anne blinked up at him, unable to say anything.

“I don’t love her.” Gilbert repeated, lowering his gaze. “Not the way I love- not the way I’m supposed to love the woman I decide to marry. It just wasn’t… right. She wasn’t the right person.”

When the right person comes along, someday, whenever that is, I’ll know.

A long silence stretched between them before Anne finally found the strenght to speak again.

“So… no Sorbonne.”

Gilbert shrugged.

“Queen’s will be more than fine for the time being. We’ll have to keep up the good old rivalry for a bit.”

Anne couldn’t help but smile.

Gilber smiled back at her, almost shyly, and she found herself blushing.

“I’ll be off.” he said after a while. “It’s been a long day.”

Anne nodded and he turned, walking down the alley again.

“Gilbert!” she called after him before he could disappear down the stairs.

“Yes?”

She fidgeted with the pen, twirling it nervously between her fingers.

“I’m happy you’re coming to college with m- with all of us.”

Gilbert smiled.

“I’m happy too.”

“Goodnight, Gilbert.”

“Goodnight, Anne.”

And for the first time in weeks, it truly was a good night.

#awae #shirbert #anne with an e #awae spoilers #anne shirley #gilbert blythe #my fic #weirwolves #jessmariana #pterparkcr #glbertblyth #royalcordelia

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eduards-stuff · 4 years

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Welcome to eduard 1 am ramblings

I was recently watching videos on YouTube and seeing a video of a couple meeting through vr and all the struggles they been through and just meeting people in vr.

I started to thin the line between reality and virtuality is cuz as technology progresses and people have like full body tracking with haptic feedback so you can feel peoples touching you and who poked your back the line really starts to blur.

You meet all of these people you interacts with them and some you may start to connect and start a bond with or a date as some do.

And the more you spend time the morr you get attached to things.

At some point I could see people get possibly more attached to the avatar than the real life if there are maybe huge differences because we start associating that imagine or avatar as the person we are everyday and see laugh and act and speak so i could totally see someone get attached that way.

If you have a tiny stylised girl with like ears of a fox and a tail in a specific outfit like a leotard or something aesthetically pleasing and after like months of speaking to her like that you transition to the real life or on a discord call and she's not the "image" you imagined I can kind of see a sort of disconnect between perceived desire of what youd like she to look like and the reality as there is no way the certain avatars to exist so there could definitely be anxiety about it and confusion.

The more vr becomes morr used in gaming and hanging out especially in quarantine I could totally see how it will be used as escapism cuz you can touch people in vr without having to worry about distancing and so much more especially bond intimally.

There are people Who post as girls and try to make it as realistically as possible even with voice modulators it seems.

Imagine the hurt if you had someone you were very interested in and it turned out not only they lied to you but also played along and could maybe discard it all once the facade is up.

Especially in the times of corona losing that type of deep emotional connection in times of need can really mess someone up.

As on the virtual reality it seems we are somehow more vulnerable as some of the social bariers are down as we aren't exactly at shame and at risk with some anonymity but somehow the connection people do are a lot deeper

Been single for a while and wirh the quarantine had been a lot of things that I though of . Soft things, things to do to experience and share wirh someone I really liked and do all sorts of cheesy things too.

I would actually enjoy a candle lit and full moon dinner or something cuz I'm that kind of soft weak bitch whose thst extra

Or something simple or special at home as I also enjoy cooking but and if it makes someone feeling happy would feel like the effort is worth it.

Another thing that would be really nice to do is go to the bitch and have a picnic there bring some food some blankets and pillows in a rent pick up truck

And see the sea/ocean have some food and some drink if the situation call for it and have a projector and warch a movie or some pictures collage that can be set up between the 2 of them.

And then look for a star shower or some kind of cosmic event cuz space is cool!!

While writing like stories and role-playing as specific characters I definitely thought of and found out a lot of these amazing scenarios that I could totally make if the right opportunity arises all in a notebook for like date ideas but thise never really came to be used as I never found someone interested to share these in real life so there' are just bubbles of hope that is like one day to materialise

Maybe some of these some peoppe can do in the virtual reality but then the parting becomes even more painful and the disconnect between reality and fiction becomes even more as we spend more time and are engaged in vr

So would it be worth it ?

To see it possibly be ruined?

What is reality more than just a lot if facts and observations we do for ourselves

I know right I'm 14 and this is deep shit but it does feel kind of true

As at some point you will be able to have full dive vr and actually live 2 totally different lives and possibly love the ability to differentials it anymore

As you start to wonder does your love for someone connected to them or the avatar thay they are acting as ?

As avatars don't really have flaws or imperfections and can be meticulously designed to look like the person you wanna appear as.

You still made those choices and hard work to appear as that thing and the choices of designs you did are yours but the imagine may not always correlate to you when someone looks at them.

Really odd thing how the human psychology does that thing of bonding to ideas an perceptions.

I sure hope a lot of people got what they deserved and wished for cuz it seems like the level of deep hurt not a lot of places can reach

I think this is it for now quite a long ramblings that I've been doing by myself or just spewing to a friend about and left it in the ether but I thought would be maybe healthier to try to find another way of channelling my thought

Or some kind of fixation right now through this writing and sort some of process what i am thinking right now cuz sometimes it is a mistery to me even what i am about to type next as it Jus r flows one word after another without much in mind .

My mind being very empty right now but yeah I should end my ramblings here and scream them into he good and find a different kind of coping mechanics and not rely on someone listening and Just continue screaming into the anonymous void and hope someone understands what I'm saying and I'm not try my insane as I think I am.

Sometimes I have the feeling I really am just predictable and the 1 note but sometimes I surprise myself with emotions being complex and not knowing what to do but to just I guess pine for someone to do amazing things wirh but I know that may or may not come and I'll just have to accept that as it is or try to change that myself in some way

But as far as I'm aware there are a lot of way to do that and find a way to find comfort on someone as social standards and pressure don't let you just walk up to people and say hi or much.

If someone's reading this as I'm screaming into the void you can always reach put and talk and have actual deep conversation.

I think what i may be feeling is what a lot of people have been feeling but more accentuated as I didn't had a place to go in my town as there literally not much to do than go to my library and read a book or take a walk but now not even being able to go there even the rare times I went still affects me and feeling isolated and alone on an island with no one next to them.

I think we all felt like that over the course of 2020 which really sucks the more it goes especially with school starting

I really hate that corona csme exactly when I has hope and plans to go in exchange wirh another person in uni and life somewhere else and meet new people tried so hard at exams to be sure I will be able to go only to be slowly crushed ad corona changed it all and into rejected by then and not being able to join to other places so i just lost the train.

These are the moments I overfixated on things and can talk about them for like 20.000 words before crashing and ssying words like they are knives of sharp air going out of my throat for the next 8 hours after this extensive monologue.

Monologue which seemed to go for ages but we all need a place and a way to express whatever you feeling cuz we all need therapy in 2020 I needed way before that in 2012 but only realised like 2 years ago .

So there we go we all need help and it's okay to just talk about it and just get lost in the sea of posts that hopefully somehow won't end up biting me in the ass somehow back.

If someone was interested enough to psychoanalyse this sheet of had the patience please tell me cuz I'm also dieing to know what made you so bored to do this and what you can interpret from this rambling at what guess what now I've been typing for like 15 minutes quite a feat .

I wonder if Tumblr posts have a limit in character usage I don't know I guess will find out soon shouldn't we at some point well reach it . I should probably go to bed now my moms keep nagging me to go to bed I should finish this and go good night thank you if you somehow got to this 10 k word essay rambling and go to the end I don't know how you had the patience to read though my possibly adhd and hyperfixation ass you're a dsmn legend.

Well see ya good night

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livefreeordie13 · 5 years

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Day 1 (Narukami, APLC - Pt. 2)

Day 1 of @souyoweek2019 “Soulmates or Music: Pick a Song from the P4 Soundtrack”

there isn’t an “AU” after that soulmates option but i went ahead and made a part 2 to my silly Soulmates AU Lawyer!Yu story from last year’s Souyoweek anyway. i put a little link in the last sentence but if you didn’t read it, basically he hires yosuke to be his secretary and yeah, it’s very tropey.

i’m not afraid of your judgment.

warnings: little innuendo i guess.

(Narukami, APLC - Pt. 2)

Yu Narukami, Yasoinaba’s popular new lawyer, had finally landed himself a secretary.

That wasn’t big news to anyone else around town, but it was the best thing to happen to Yu himself since he’d obtained the keys to the small suite he’d converted into his private practice just over a month ago.

His legal assistant’s name was Yosuke Hanamura, a local young man about Yu’s age who attended college and worked part-time for a local retail chain. He seemed . . . entirely different from the type of person Yu might have considered hiring for such a position, in retrospect, but was no doubt bright, interested, and even better - he had no qualms with working late hours when Yu was most available.

The partnership had been a thing of beauty almost from the beginning, as the daytime engagements both men seemed tethered to often meant they didn’t have time for office meetings or organization until much later in the evening when the rest of the town shut down. Yosuke dutifully showed up at the perfect time nearly every day - just as the sun was beginning to set over the lush hillsides of Inaba’s rural landscape - always with a tired but eager smile, and always with two fresh coffees.

Surprisingly, training him had been a cinch. He showed interest and percipience, and seemed to be something of a mind reader when it came to asking questions. Yu was impressed. He had never been great at being trained himself, since he often needed to ruminate and figure things out on his own without the feeling of someone hovering over his shoulders. Yosuke, on the other hand, seemed well-equipped to handle spontaneity and Yu’s stubborn tendency to quick-correct, which came in handy immensely when a client project forced them both to switch gears to something alien.

He was so intelligent, so intuitive, that Yu had been stunned when Yosuke confessed one night that he hadn’t managed to pass a college entrance exam until his third try, and that it was, in part, why he was still attending college at 27. As an academic, Yu couldn’t imagine how crushed he’d have been to score any less than perfect on a test. He certainly didn’t know if he’d have been brave enough to try a second time, either, and thought Yosuke to be remarkably determined.

He’d shyly admitted as much in exchange for that secret, and didn’t hide his appreciation for the flattered blush that crossed Yosuke’s face in turn.

Unfortunately, his quick wit, his affable personality, it only made Yosuke more devastatingly attractive to Yu. It was true that Yu was still kicking himself for allowing his labido to shove itself rudely in the way of his hiring process, but he considered himself lucky in this case. Extremely lucky, actually, since Yosuke seemed a perfect match for this position in every way that mattered, current degree status be damned.

He seemed a perfect match in other ways, too, and Yu was trying to ignore that as much as he could. He knew he ought to be focusing exclusively on his growing practice; a green solo practitioner like himself didn’t exactly have a short list of responsibilities to ensure he didn’t malpractice every matter that chimed at his door.

And dating? Dating was not on that list. Not currently, anyway.

Yu took shelter in the quiet moments he and Yosuke spent in the office together after-hours. A picturesque shift for them generally had Yu at his desk, researching or drafting or emailing, and Yosuke on the floor across the room with a spray of Yu’s files all around him (it didn’t matter how often Yu reminded Yosuke he had a desk to use). It was such a petite office that the young men didn’t have any form of privacy. It didn’t bother Yu, though. He enjoyed looking up to see Yosuke surrounded by the spread of his own files, happily categorizing and identifying their homes, singing along in bits to whatever tune drifted from the headphones Yosuke kept around his neck.

As the weeks passed, the length of time they were spending at the office gradually fell off. Great for his practice and the expense to his clients; bad for Yu and his steadily growing crush. Some days, Yosuke didn’t even have to come to the office at all.

Yu became pretty disappointed in himself when he realized the nights Yosuke wasn’t there were the nights he couldn’t seem to concentrate on anything. He initially wrote it off as a side effect of weekendless days but that excuse hadn’t lasted long; he’d worked about as much in Tokyo. He’d even gone on solo coffee runs in the absence of Yosuke’s usual friendly gesture and ended up wandering home afterwards, slightly too despondent to return to an empty office.

By the end of the second month of his relocation to Inaba, Yu knew he had it pretty bad.

It may not have seemed like much to anyone - this ridiculous crush he couldn’t shake. “Just ask him out,” he’d told himself. With the soft glances when the other wasn’t looking to the near constant flirting that had ballooned beyond Yu’s expectations, he had very little in his way from doing so. He could ask him out, and he was pretty sure Yosuke would say “yes”. He was more than pretty sure, the further he thought about it. And the further he thought about it, the simpler it felt.

They’d confirm there were no deadlines that day and he’d let Yosuke exercise all his charm giving Yu an official tour of the town he’d grown up in. They’d eat country food and Yosuke would introduce him to the cook, and then Yu could offer to cook for him one day, and Yosuke would show him that excited spark in his eyes that he got when he heard something he liked. And, at the end, maybe at two in the morning, Yosuke would know somewhere quiet, somewhere for just the two of them, someplace outside of their office that had a nice breeze and the sound of crickets.

Yu wondered if Yosuke’s skin would look like the moonlight - gentle and fair - as he leaned in to press their lips together. He wondered if Yosuke would be smiling. He wondered who would drag who to the nearest bedroom, the order their clothes would tumble off them, if Yosuke would fumble with the lamp string or sweep him away in the dark . . .

The possibilities were so alluring they almost made Yu forget that his romantic life had so far been a complete disaster, with one disinterested and fickle lover after the next shifting in and out of his life when it seemed convenient. That’s what he got for routinely dating fellow law students and lawyers, he assumed, but it didn’t make his record look any better.

In his defense, sleeping with people in that circle had always been more of a competition than any real attempt to connect to another human being - and it wasn’t something he missed.

He couldn’t fathom treating Yosuke like that. He was intimidated by the thought of Yosuke finding out how many partners Yu had taken, though, and how shallow that would make him seem. He didn’t want Yosuke to look at him differently, see his brow crinkle and his eyes roll as his respect for Yu washed away with the rain. Yosuke was too . . . important, now. Yu was still a little scared to admit that, but it was true.

Yosuke practically ran his office, and he was fast learning how to take his heart, bit by bit. With every gracious smile and playful wink, Yosuke was nearing the finish line. Yu honestly had to stop to consider whether he was even in control of what was happening between them any longer. Or . . . if he had ever been. Maybe Yosuke been targeting the new transplant this entire time? Maybe he was herding his pray into a kill box like the sly dog he pretended to be some days. It was certainly possible; Yosuke had all the makings of a killer, despite his somewhat quirky habits.

He supposed he’d find out, one way or the other. For better or worse.

Maybe, if he was lucky, he’d find out tonight.

On cue, the door chimed at Yosuke’s arrival. Just before seven in the evening, after his mid-shift at Junes. The sun was setting.

Yosuke greeted him with his familiar smile and wink. Yu nodded in greeting and stood to come around his desk. With a grateful smile, he quickly took his coffee so that Yosuke could unload his bag and light jacket.

“Ugh, my shift was hell today.”

Yu sipped his drink. Perfect as always, just a splash of cream. “You didn’t have to come in tonight, in that case. I don’t have any deadlines.”

“Yeah, but I got a ton of filing to do. Just look at that stack!” He gestured over to the stack of paper nestled in the thin tray on his desk that, if Yu were being honest, was laughably short.

“You call that ‘a ton’?” Yu snorted. “Do you remember what my office looked like when I first hired you?”

Yosuke hummed, staring into the middle distance for a second. “Mmmm, okay good point.”

He grinned and Yu rolled his eyes, turning back around towards his desk to reclaim his seat. “Well, if you need rest, it can wait,” he assured him. His computer screen had gone black from all his daydreaming earlier, and he hurriedly shifted the mouse so that Yosuke didn’t catch it.

“I’ll be fine. What are you working on?” Yosuke asked, making his way across the room to his little desk and very little tray.

“Um, research.” Yu stopped his nail biting and took another sip of his coffee.

Yosuke gave him an odd smile - well, odd for the situation, but not for Yosuke. He’d been giving him plenty of odd smiles lately, of course. “Researching what?” he asked in a teasing tone, pretending to be engaged in the notes he was holding.

Yu pulled his hand away from his mouth again. “How to make sure cheeky assistants mind their own business.”

“Heh, good luck with that.”

Yu smirked wickedly, flicking his eyes from his screen to glance at Yosuke who had just moved onto the next little stack of papers. Yu mentally chided himself immediately when he noticed Yosuke wearing the red pants Yu liked. Yu had never dreamed of getting away with fashionable looks like that, but Yosuke always made it seem like it was nothing. They fit him so well, too . . .

“Enjoying the view?” Yosuke asked, his voice carefully neutral, as he reviewed his documents.

Yu blanched and shot his eyes to Yosuke’s face. He could feel his face heating up tremendously; even his ears burned. He sat, stunned to silence. Yosuke had never called him out for looking before. In fact, he was more prone to pretend he didn’t notice, and then later Yu would feel eyes on him . . . But the confrontation was terrifying.

Yosuke eventually glanced over and gave him a disarming wink. “Relax,” he said softly. And he meant it. He didn’t pull his eyes away.

Oh. So, Yu was the prey after all, wasn’t he? Yep.

Yosuke had told him to relax yet Yu still couldn’t move, could barely blink. The charms he’d adapted for use in the city were utterly failing him. Probably because Yosuke was “important”, he remembered. And it would stand to reason that flirting with an “important” person would be very different from flirting with one night stands. That was fair. Distinction, noted.

Yu still looked like a deer caught in headlights, so Yosuke gave a quiet sigh and set the stack of documents down. He looked down at his fidgeting hands. Meanwhile, Yu thought he might burst waiting for what was going to come out of Yosuke’s mouth next. His control over his racing pulse was about as far away as Tokyo, at this point.

“Look, I know I may not be-” Yosuke started, cutting himself off. He rubbed his neck. Suddenly, he appeared unable to meet his employer’s eyes. “I don’t know what you’re used to in the city, but I don’t fool around. Weird, I know, because-” he gestured between them, “but, really? This is kinda new to me.” Here, Yosuke met his eyes again, and he seemed completely humorless, for once. “I . . . really like you. Really. Like, I’m not interested in a one-off.” He paused (Yu was suddenly aware how heavy his own breath was). “And . . . I don’t think you are, either, if I’m reading you right?”

Yu let out a breath, felt himself ever so slightly shake his head.

Yosuke quirked a tiny, disbelieving smile. “Good,” he said, smiling wider as it, apparently, sunk in.

Yu stood, cautious and slow, smoothing down his tie and taking measured breaths to still his heart. He swallowed. “I really like you, too, Yosuke. Really,” he emphasized, with a smirk.

Yosuke laughed, a little shrill but clearly relieved. Then, he cleared his throat. “Awesome,” he said, nodding.

Yu might have never seen anyone so gorgeous; he wasn’t interested in the challenge of finding out for sure. Yosuke was drop-dead so, the way his cheeks burned and his hair fell and how his neck looked in that v-neck. And now he could look at it all night if he wanted. Finally.

He really was home now.

“Well, uh,” Yosuke rubbed the back of his neck again. “No deadlines tonight, right? Wanna . . . shut it down for tonight? I know a place that has great steak skewers.”

Yu smiled and removed his tie. “Lead the way.”

#souyoweek2019 #souyo #work #yu narukami #yosuke hanamura #narukami aplc

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keithablow · 2 years

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I'm dissatisfied with me and my GF's sex life because of vaginismus

We're both 19. We've been dating for 8 months now. She never had sex before (neither have I), and we figured out this problem around the second month of dating (for those who don't know, vaginismus is a condition that consists of feelings of pain or burning when trying to have penis-in-vagina or PIV sex) We tried for a while, but the constant unsuccessful attempts were starting to make her feel uncomfortable and insecure, and we eventually understood that we wouldn't be able to do it properly anytime soon, so we stopped trying. We occasionally talked about it, with her feeling a lot of guilt for her condition, and I always tried to reassure her that I didn't care and I wanted to be with her anyway.

Since then, we've tried multiple things (oral, hand stuff, boobjobs, rubbing, etc.) However if I'm being honest this problem is silently affecting our relationship (especially from my point of view) more and more as time goes on. I still like her physically, but I feel there's a lack of intimacy when we do the other stuff. Rubbing is the closest thing we do, and that actually feels a lot better on an "engagement" level, however it's often uncomfortable to me physically, and I usually don't get much pleasure from it. I'm starting to not looking forward to having sex with her anymore, and often I don't finish or I'm not involved in the act and I feel dissatisfied, because I want something more.

From her point of view, she seems to be pretty satisfied just with oral and fingering (clitoral stimulation, not finger penetration). A while ago I tried to show her how she could improve things if she wanted to, even showing her all the useful info that's in r/vaginismus's FAQ thread (it's quite useful), but she was hesitant and unsure and nothing's come out of it.

I don't want to give her pressure, and I'm ready to wait if she needs more time to sort things out. However, it's been many months since we discovered this issue, and lately we haven't even been talking about it. I haven't brought this up and told her how I feel yet because it feels egoistic, and I feel like she has a lot of problems to deal with already (university exams, pretty heavy physical problems, worsening anxiety) and I don't feel like adding another one to her load. On the other hand, I don't know what to do.

submitted by /u/LodwigRedemption [link] [comments] from Sex https://ift.tt/3K5QlDq

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hopeishappinessff · 6 years

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Holding Onto Hope: Chapter 16

Chris

“I don’t know what to do. It’s been almost a full week and I haven’t heard from her. I call, but her phone goes straight to voicemail. I text, but get no reply. I’ve even gone to her room, but somehow Destani always opens the door and she’s never there… I forced my way in three days in a row so that Destani could prove to me that she wasn’t just hiding, but she just… she wasn’t there. I don’t know where she is… I don’t know what to do.” I could feel myself getting light headed by the lack of oxygen entering my lungs as I rambled on without a breath in between.

My therapy session couldn’t have come at a better time this week. After the day that Hope had come to my room and found Tawny in there with my half naked ass, she’d literally disappeared from the face of the earth and I could feel myself losing my mind with each minute that ticked by without hearing from her. I knew she would avoid my calls and texts… I wasn’t expecting her to happily wanna engage in a casual conversation about what she saw, but I also wasn’t expecting her to just dip the fuck out either.

“Christopher, you’re very frantic today… you’re talking a mile a minute,” Dr. Yates spoke gently from where she sat behind her desk, “You’re overwhelmed, I know, but you’ve got to calm down.”

“I can’t!” I nearly screamed right in this woman’s face, “That girl means everything to me and I fucked up! I fucked up and now I don’t… I don’t even know if she’s still in a relationship with me or not.”

“You’re getting ahead of yourself Christopher. Don’t allow the lack of communication between the two of you to force you into any assumptions. It’ll only get you further worked up and you know that one of our goals here is to learn how to respond to any situation, whether it is one provoked by your anger or one provoked by your sadness, in a calm and reasonable manner.”

I shut my eyes abruptly in the middle of her sentence. I needed to start up a slow count to perhaps forty to avoid lashing out and jumping over the desk at Dr. Yates. As much as I was beginning to warm up to her and her gentle demeanor, no one and I mean no one should ever tell me to calm down in any situation involving Hope. I wouldn’t even calm down if President Obama stood at my side and threatened me with hard time in Guantanamo Bay… Hope was my entire heart and without her, I literally felt like I couldn’t function. Sure we’d gone a few days recently without talking because I was being a dick and completely ignoring her, but in the back of my mind I always knew she was there. Now though, I knew there was a possibility that things had gone awry in the relationship and the thought alone made me wanna slit my throat.

“You’re improving significantly with your counting strategies, I see. Though it is unfortunate that I am indeed the target for your anger right now, your progress is wonderful Christopher.” I wouldn’t say it to her, but I was amazed that this lady could remain seated so serenely as I sat there boiling over like a hot pot on a stove. I could feel the inflammation of anger in my face and I’m sure she could clearly see it, but she simply sat there staring at me like a proud mother as I remained in my stance and finished my count.

Slowly prying open the eyes that no longer felt like my own, I glared across the desk at Dr. Yates. I was over the emotional stint, just that quick. He had grown tired of all the rambling of how emotionally distraught I was and he was about ready to cut this whole therapy session short.

“Chris…”

“You know, I think I’m gonna head out now and get some… fresh air.” I muttered with a smirk. Dr. Yates stared at me for a prolonged moment before calmly jotting something down in her infamous little notebook and raising her curious gaze to meet mine.

“Do you feel as though you’re… restrained and composed enough to leave this office right now?” She asked.

With my eyes still on the little notebook, I slowly nodded my head and finally locked eyes with her “Yeah… I feel restrained… and composed.”

“And you don’t feel the urge to leave this office and go searching for Sy’Diyah again?”

“I’m not gonna look for that bi… girl,” I quickly corrected myself as I felt irritation rising in the pit of my stomach, “I’m good, Doc.”

Her brows rose briefly with surprise, but Dr. Yates maintained her composure as she always does and simply sat back in her seat, scribbled a few more things in her notebook, then slid it shut and crossed her arms over her chest.

“Very well Christopher. We had about another fifteen minutes left in our session today, but if you feel as though you’ve had enough for the day I cannot force you to stay.”

“Right,” I smoothly rose from the black leather chair across from her desk and adjusted the snapback atop my head, “Thanks for the sesh. See you soon.”

And with that I turned and quickly made my way to the exit and didn’t bother sticking around to hear her dismissal. Oh how I loathed going to those fucking sessions, specifically when she was the topic of discussion. I didn’t understand what the damn obsession was with her, but that sensitive and bitch ass emotional side of me was just head over heels for the girl. Sure she was probably the most beautiful girl I’d ever been with and had by far the best pussy I’d ever slipped into, but there was no need to have my head stuck so far up her ass. Like it almost sickened me how much we were wrapped around her little finger and I was determined now more than ever to change that completely.

I had finally exited that depressing ass building and I had already made up my mind that within the next ten minutes, I was gonna find my next nut for the day. If I really wanted to, I could just stand my ass outside the building and the pussy would just waltz right up to me, but I’d left my patience back up in that stuffy ass office and I didn’t wanna wait. I moved swiftly toward the Tate Student Center where I knew nearly all the ethnic community would be hanging out. It was midday, so rather than going somewhere to grab lunch between classes niggas would often just hang out in there like it was the parking lot of a club.

I’d barely even made it within a ten-foot radius of the building before I spotted my target… only because her wide chocolate eyes were locked on me like I was her prey. The girl stood between two other chicks just outside the building where several other people lingered about. I knew I should be more careful with doing this sort of thing smack dab in the middle of the day in the public eye because word had quickly spread that I had a girlfriend and I knew it wouldn’t take people long to piece together exactly who she was, but let’s just be honest right now… who gives a fuck?

This girl kept her eyes locked on me the entire time I walked straight toward her and I couldn’t ignore the sexy smirk plastered on her cute little lips. She was bad, no lie. Her hips were the first things to catch my eye and I shook my head discreetly as thoughts of how much fun I could have gripping those thick things coursed through my mind. I could tell just by the way she stood that her ass had to be fat, but what had me nearly salivating was just how tiny her waist was in comparison to those hips. She wore her hair in these intricate little Janet Jackson braids that fell all the way to her waist line and again, I imagined just how fun they were gonna be to play with… and pull on.

“What’s up?” I said with one quick nod once I was finally up close and personal with her. Her two friends stared at me with just as much lust in their eyes as her, but I’d already made up my mind that she was who I wanted to walk away from this campus with.

“How you doing gorgeous?” She asked with the cutest giggle. With my good ole charming smirk locked into place on my already moist lips, I quickly swiped my tongue out over my lips just for the effect and glanced at both of her friends before locking eyes with her.

“Well, I’m good sweetheart… but I think I would be better if you took a ride with me.”

And just like that, I’d hooked her and reeled her in. Before I knew it, she held a firm grip on my hand and together we made our way to the student parking lot to my truck and I listened closely as she gave me seductive directions back to her apartment.

Hope

I sat on the floor in the living room with my back pressed against the couch and an assembly of books and papers all around me on the floor. I had a big exam coming up within the next week and I’d been doing nothing but burying my head in my books and notes lately to make sure I was prepared for it. Lately I’d also been swamped with assignments from several of my classes and to make matters worse… I couldn’t deny that I was dealing with a crumbling relationship. With every day that passed, I could feel myself losing the firm grip that I once had on my beautiful relationship. I didn’t know what was going on with Chris. He was drifting, that much was for sure, and I had no idea why or how to even reel him back in. I tried not to focus so much on the reality of my unfortunate situation and instead chose to immerse myself as deeply as possible into my studies.

My brows remained furrowed as I nibbled into the corner of my bottom lip and glared at the paper in my hand. I was reviewing notes for the upcoming exam and my focus was strong… so strong that I failed to notice the front door of the apartment opening and closing softly. As I lowered the paper back to the floor with my eyes still glued to it, I nearly jumped right out of my skin at the feeling of a hand against my left shoulder. Abruptly swinging around to my left, I spotted Cammie falling back into the cushions of the couch clutching at her stomach as she cackled loudly at my expense. After snatching out my ear buds, I glared at her and held a hand over my chest in an attempt to catch my breath.

“Girl,” She wheezed as she continued to laugh, “That shit was fucking hilarious! You alright?”

With a roll of my squinted eyes, I huffed and quickly reached down to pause the music still blaring from my phone “Yes I’m fine, but you scared the crap out of me Cammie.”

“Man I’m sorry, but you were looking so damn focused… I knew I would be able to get your ass good.”

I rolled my eyes once more, this time playfully as I failed to contain my own small fit of giggles. I couldn’t help but shake my head at the thought of how at ease my mind had been for the past few days around Cammie and Angel. After showing up at my own dorm room in a completely angered daze immediately following the incident with Chris and the girl in his room, Destani called an ‘emergency girls time meeting’ where she proceeded to explain what’d happened to Cammie and Angel. And after making them aware of exactly what would happen if I stuck around in my dorm room for too long, they quickly swooped in like my personal saviors and offered to take me in until I left for my dad’s for the weekend.

“Every time I see you in here, all you doing is sticking your head in some book… what are you working on anyway?” She inquired as she sat upright on the couch and curled her legs beneath her comfortably.

With a deep sigh, I glanced down at the stack of papers and books scattered in front of me on the floor and eased a hand up through my wild mane of hair “I have a test coming up in my biology class that I’ve been trying to study for.”

“Oh shit, my bad girl… I didn’t mean to interrupt.” She said.

“No, it’s okay,” I muttered as I shut my book and placed it strategically over the notes on the floor so as to not tempt myself to bury my face right back in it, “I need to take a break anyway.”

Resting my head back against the seat of the couch, I shut my eyes and crossed my arms loosely in my lap.

“Are you okay Sy?” Cammie asked in a hushed tone.

“Yeah, I’m fine… just a little tired.”

“No… I mean are you really, okay?”

Slowly easing my lids open, my eyes locked on the ceiling as my head remained back on the couch and I took a moment to truly absorb her question… was I really okay? It didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out exactly what she meant at this point, but the question was more complex than she would probably ever understand.

“I don’t know Cammie.” My voice came out in less than a whisper and I didn’t know if she’d even heard me. I could feel her tugging lightly on one of my many loose curls. She curled it gently around her finger in a comforting manner and I willed myself not to fall asleep from the gesture.

“Listen Sy’Diyah, I don’t know the whole story of your relationship or what’s really going on with you and your dude, but I want you to know that you can stay here as long as you need to.” “Thanks Cammie… that really means a lot.” I said.

“Hey, maybe you can even hit up Destani and tell her to pack up some shit and come over so we can have a girls night in tonight.”

“That sounds like it would be fun, but I actually need to pack up my stuff here and head back to my dorm in a bit. Destani and I are going to my dad’s tomorrow and I need to go get ready for that.”

“Oh, well that’s good… maybe some time with your pops will make you feel a little better too. And whenever ya’ll get back we can still plan a girls night… in or out, it’s up to ya’ll.” She suggested.

“Yeah, I’ll definitely take you up on that and I’ll let Destani know,” I said with a closed lip smile, “If you’re not too busy though, would you mind taking me back to my dorm?”

“You know I got you boo. Come on, I can take you now.”

Within the next few minutes she helped me get all my belongings packed up and down to her car and eventually, we were on our way back to campus.

“My little love muffin, I missed you!” Destani screeched the moment I set foot in the room. I couldn’t contain my laughter as she bombarded me at the door and snatched me into her grasp, squeezing me tight against her chest as though she hadn’t seen me in years.

“Okay, Destani… okay, let go!” I huffed through merriment and lack of oxygen.

“My bad, I just really missed my roomie and bff!” She exclaimed as she finally released me and swiftly stepped out into the hall to help me lug the few bags I had back into the room, “How was your stay with the girls?” “It was really good. I got a lot of work and studying done and they were both so helpful and welcoming.” I said as I finally shut and locked the door.

“Well that’s good baby girl. You know the squad wasn’t about to leave you hanging while Mr. Crazy Man was running around like a chicken with its head cut off looking for your ass.” Her face had contorted into a deep scowl and she rolled her eyes as if ‘Mr. Crazy Man’ himself stood there in front of her.

With a giggle, I shook my head and made sure all of my belongings were shifted over to my side of the room before I began to gather the necessary items to take a quick shower “Was he really Dez? Did he come here?”

“Tuh, did he girl? From the night we got you outta here up until last night, the nigga has been by here banging on this door like crazy looking for you. The only reason I even opened the door for his ass was so he wouldn’t draw attention and have the RA down here investigating all the noise. And he wouldn’t just knock then ask where you were… ole boy would literally barge his way into this room every time demanding that I prove you weren’t here.”

“Wow,” I muttered, barely surprised by Chris’s obsessive behavior toward me, “That really doesn’t surprise me much though… that’s just unfortunately how he’s always been with me, since before we even got together. I even had to shut my phone off for most of the time I was at Cammie and Angel’s because he constantly called and sent me text messages.”

“Sy’Diyah what the fuck did you do to that nigga that’s got him so fucking sprung like that? Yo pussy must me molded with pure gold and topped with the world’s rarest diamond honey… shit!”

We both burst into a fit of giggles and I could even feel my cheeks warming from her blatant comment. Once I scooped up the last of my bath items, I grabbed a large towel then turned and made my way toward the restroom.

“Well I’m about to hop in the shower really quick. Hopefully he doesn’t show up.” I chuckled, with complete doubt in my mind that he would be foolish enough to come back to the room searching for me for the fifth day in a row.

“You know what, I’m not even gonna tell you not to jinx yourself on this one because I’m almost positive he’ll be here as scheduled shortly.”

I continued to laugh as I stepped into the quant restroom and shut the door behind myself, not bothering to lock the door since neither Destani or I ever saw a need to. I placed my things neatly atop the closed toilet seat and moved over to the shower to turn on the water and adjust it to my liking.

Once I was stripped down to my bare skin, I stepped into the shower and immediately shut my eyes as the warm water cascaded over the top of my head and down over my shoulders. After basking in the steamy oasis for nearly twenty minutes, I opened my eyes and swore that I could hear commotion on the other side of the door. I didn’t think much of it though and continued to wash the conditioner out of my hair. Just as I turned around to shut off the water, I nearly slipped and plopped down right on my butt when the unlocked bathroom door flew open.

“Nigga get the fuck out or I’m calling the RA and telling him to call fucking security on your ass!” Destani hollered.

A loud gasp rolled from my lips the moment the shower curtain was yanked aside, revealing a flustered Chris who stood there with wide eyes and bright rosy cheeks. His nostrils were flared and his brows were furrowed with frustration, but the moment he zoned in on my cowering naked body his entire demeanor calmed within seconds.

“Hope…” He whispered, flinching suddenly when a small fist collided with the back of his broad shoulders.

“Damnit Chris get outta here, now!!” Destani was putting up as much fight as her petite body would allow, but she was no match against the athletic build of Chris who simply turned and gently pushed her out of the doorway and shut and locked the door right in her face.

“Chris… wha… what are you doing?” I stammered as I quickly crossed my arms up over my chest, leaving no hope for my completely exposed lower half.

His eyes remained locked directly on mine though and it was only then that I noticed just how red and swollen they were… had he been crying recently?

“Hope, I’m sorry… please listen to me.” He spoke so urgently, I nearly stopped completely to actually hear him out, but I smoothly remembered that we were indeed still wedged together in this not so large bathroom space and I was indeed still standing beneath the streaming shower completely naked and soaked from head to toe.

“Chris, let me get out of here and put on some clothes…” “No, you can’t… Destani’s only gonna freak out and attack me if we leave this bathroom.” He spoke quickly and quietly just as Destani slammed a hand down against the locked door.

“Sy’Diyah, I called the RA… he’s in the café right now, but he’s on his way!” She hollered.

I couldn’t peel my eyes from Chris’s sad and exhausted stare. Without him having to utter a single word, I understood that he was hurting more than I could fully comprehend and even after what he’d done to me, as his girlfriend and the missing link to his puzzle of chaos… I knew that we couldn’t afford any additional attention in his moment of need. He needed time to break down right there in the small square of a bathroom and I needed to be all ears for him.

“Destani call him back,” I shouted over the steady pound of the water around me as I continued to stare into those distressed yet stunning pools of copper, “Tell him you were mistaken and that everything is fine.” “Sy…” She started.

“Destani… please.”

There was silence on her end and I didn’t even bother considering whether she’d taken what I said seriously and moved away from the door to call the RA back, but I didn’t care. All that mattered in that moment was my boyfriend that stood there, emotionally crumbling before my very eyes. Silently I reached forward and latched my hands onto the hem of his black hoodie and I made sure to catch the t-shirt beneath it as I began to pull it up. He didn’t ask a single question or make an attempt to stop me… he simply complied by lifting his arms while I raised the articles of clothing up over his head. I moved on to his sweats and slipped them as well as his boxer briefs down as he stepped out of his shoes until he too stood there completely naked. Gently grasping his left hand, I silently assured him that it was okay to step forward and enter the hot shower with me. And he did, slowly but surely until we finally stood face to face and the water doused his back and rained down over his shoulders.

Though he spoke volumes with his eyes alone, I knew I needed to get him to speak up soon. I eased the tips of my fingers up along his perfectly chiseled chest until I reached his neck then I stopped just below his jawline and cupped each side of his face.

“Talk to me.” I said.

“I’m sorry Hope…” He muttered and I simply nodded my head, encouraging him to continue on, “I didn’t mean to hurt you… I don’t ever mean to hurt you.” “Then why do you?”

“I…” I could sense his hesitation to go on, but I knew he harbored an answer to that question… an answer that I had no idea would eventually impact our relationship immensely.

“Talk to me… please.” I pleaded as I caressed his cheeks with the pads of my thumbs.

“You’ll judge me. I can’t handle your judgement… I can’t.” He said as he raised his hands and latched them onto my wrists.

“Stop it Charlie, that’s not true… I would never judge you.” I fussed quietly as I gently shook his head in my grasp. I shut my eyes as he suddenly tugged me forward and leaned down to mesh his forehead against my own.

“You will judge me…and I’m afraid that you’ll leave me too. I don’t want you to leave me… I can’t handle that… there is no more me if there is no you.”

The depth of his words startled me, but I maintained my composure as he held me there in his grasp. Lord, what was happening to him? This wasn’t the Chris I knew. This wasn’t the young handsome next door neighbor who I subtly fell in love with at the age of eight years old.

“I love you with everything I got Hope,” He whispered, easing his head down to my shoulder where he placed the gentlest of kisses just before dropping his face into the crook of my neck, “Promise me you’ll never leave me. Promise me that no matter what, you’ll always be by my side.”

I couldn’t ignore his light sniffles as he begged me to make him a promise that I’d vowed to keep from the moment he asked me to be his girlfriend. I pulled my hands away from his cheeks as he shifted and moved them to the back of his head. His hands had found their way down to my hips and he buried the tips of his fingers there as if holding me in place, afraid that I’d leave him again. Because we were in the shower and the water continued to drizzle down over the back of his head, I couldn’t actually feel his tears against the skin of my neck but I knew they were there.

With a sigh, I slithered the tips of my fingers through his fine hair and pulled him so close to me, my breasts meshed against his chest uncomfortably “I’m not going anywhere Charlie.”

“Promise me…” He begged urgently.

“I… I promise. I’m not going anywhere.” And there we remained… him holding onto me desperately as though I was the only piece of sanity left in his muddled life, and me gripping onto him just as tight praying that somehow if I squeezed him tight enough, I could simply take some of his pain away.

#chrisbrown #chrisbrownff #chrisbrownfanfic #jasminesanders #chrisbrownfanfiction #jasminesandersff #teambreezy #teambreezyff #fanfiction #fanfic

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