#i am not in Palestine but i am hurting for my country and I'm tired for my people how do they feel? when they're right there | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

indigo-ghost-girl · 3 months

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I have alot to say

And since apparently its a strike for Palestine for the next couple of days I thought I would speak my mind. Its the least I can do.

Im so tired. Tired of news that people are dieing. I'm so incredibly tired. It's not becuse I don't want to know what is happening. I'm tired because MY people, one of the ritchest countries on earth, are not only doing nothing to stop the attacks but are actively contributing to them.

The bible says, "Love thy neibour" so why in HELL are we attacking them??

I just watched a video about a Palestinian American woman being shoved out of a room when she spoke her mind to a politition. And no one came to help her. They shoved her out. People WITH MY FACE shoved her out. MY SKIN COLOUR, MY LANGUAGE, MY HAIR COLOUR.

I am not proud of my country. And unless they step up to change I don't think I ever will again.

The people of Gaza have every right to be furious with us.

I try so hard to be neutral and hear both sides of the argument to make sure I know the facts. But I can't stay silent any longer. I've been so afraid to speak up, I'm so privileged but that means the people around me, my family, I'm afraid they will have opposing views. And I cannot afford to lose them.

I can only imagine what horrors the Palestinian people are going though. Bombed in churches, hospitals, trapped under rubble for hours.

I remember I had a nightmare once. We were running from something and we took refuge in a church in the middle of nowhere. They had no chairs and I had to sit on the floor against the wall. Everything was so tense.

Then the stained glass window exploded. Shattered in an instant and sent glass flying everywhere. We watched the the countryside around us was bombarded with smaller bombs. The safest place was inside and I remember prying that nothing would hit us directly again. The ground shook, it was so incredibly distorted.

We had to make a break for it, but there where people outside with some form of deadly weaponry, imagine like a gun that shot shrapnel.

I got to wake up from that nightmare. For some people that is there reality.

I'm so tired of living this reality. I feel powerless and stupid. I can only do so much. And it infuriats me. And no one will take me seriously becuse I'm young. At first it was because I was a child now it's becuse I'm inexperienced.

WHO CARES??? I'm not a mind reader. I haven't actually lived through a bombing. But I have felt pain before. I haven't been forced to leave my home, but I have been forced to move houses.

Yes they aren't the same thing. YES IM LUCKY I KNOW. But I know what it's like to hurt and some people clearly don't.

I just. Want to live. A centminent I'm sure the people of Gaza share. I want to laugh. Love. Share meals with loved ones. Create, Share. Live life.

Why are they denied that chance?

#Palestine #Gaza #I was going to make a small comic but i really do not have the energy to do much today

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entangledptsd · 2 months

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whoa yeah i just saw a post reminding people to get some damn nutrition and started crying

i have had some pretty serious eating problems for several years. it's a lot better now than it used to be, but the urge to skip meals is still there in the back of my head

and it breaks my heart when my girlfriend, knowing this, asks me in that tiny voice she gets sometimes and with big blue pleading eyes to "please eat something." i don't want to hurt her. it takes precedence over not wanting to hurt myself. i don't know how i got lucky enough to find someone so kind and good and bright after everything the world has thrown at me, seemingly because i deserved it (i didn't)

a close friend of mine always makes sure everyone in the group gets enough to eat when we're all hanging out because he's seen too much of the world and knows what hunger does to people

it's strange, being in recovery from so much and still being expected to be a productive normal member of society. how am i supposed to act like everything's just peachy when there are so many others suffering like i have? how can i stand to eat anything when there are kids starving to death in Palestine and Somalia and Congo and Sudan and right down the fucking street from me here in the country that hosts some of the richest people in the world? how can i get a normal job and go to work day in and day out, force myself to be another cog in the death machine that is Amerikkka?

i don't know man. i remember the lady who put vodka in her daughter's soda to keep her convenient because they were homeless and she couldn't deal with the sound of crying. i remember pushing my body way past its limits for too long and denying it everything it needed, wouldn't even wash it gently, because nobody had ever shown me how to be kind to myself. i remember the 19-year-old kid i met in jail whose mom got her hooked on meth when she was 11 and then died a few years later, leaving her all alone in the world except for a 40-something-year-old creep who just wanted to use her body (fuck you Dusty, wherever you are i hope you're fucking suffering and i'm glad you're too dead to hurt any more kids). i remember the people who got arrested on purpose just so they could have three square meals a day and a shitty bed to sleep on for a little while. i remember

too much i think

i just hope i can do something about it someday. i hope i can start making enough money to bring stacks of pizza boxes to the long line of tired folks behind the homeless shelter, like that one person used to do on Monday nights back when i was the one waiting in line. i hope i can have a little extra cash in my wallet someday to give to the ragged people i see sheltering in corners and bus stops, like my dad and granddad do

but first i have to get myself somewhat stable, and that means getting enough food to start

#head's too full tonight kids #and i'm too tired to do anything besides tread water #but i will keep breathing #and eating too. even when i don't know if i deserve to

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creatureoffiction · 2 years

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Okay new post. Still Ukrainian, hanging out at our distant relatives because my home city is being bombed heavily, can't leave the country right now, refugee status is legally bullshit, fuck everything.

Reason for posting this? Just saw some outtakes from news reports. I have a question: What In The Flying Fuck?!

"These are not some Syrian refugees, these are civilised white people". I beg your fucking pardon? If this sentence is something you agree or sympathize with, kindly shove whatever else you have ever had to say so deep it will stick out the other side. Done? Good. Now:

I can't speak for all of Ukraine obviously. But I can speak for myself. I am scared for my life and for my future and that makes people think and do horrible things sometimes. I've heard people around me wish for things that made my skin crawl, even if I understand how hurt and angry they are. Sleeping in a basement and hearing explosions at all hours really does a number on your emotional regulation and overall state of mind. But as of now? I can say that if you are a person who didn't feel as though people from Syria or Georgia or Palestine or any other country that was attacked or had their government repress their peaceful protesters (like India) deserved help and sympathy when they had to go through all these horrific things, but our country is apparently white and christian enough to "deserve" help than I don't fucking want any of it.

Yes we desperately need our sky closed and support for our army who is still defending. To take care of people who still can't leave and of those who did. But if you think like those people who called us "not some underdeveloped country but Europe" then newsflash you have the same mindset as Putin and Hitler and I wouldn't trust you as far as I can throw you.

I have been in this situation for over two weeks and my brain switches how it handles the bad bits from apathy to feeling drained and hopeless to being completely terrified. I panic when I hear loud noises. People in Donetsk and Lugansk? It was almost a decade for them. The war never ended, it simmered. They had to live in a state of "I wonder if they'll attack my city today" for years. And I did not grow up right next to them to see another country being ravaged by war for this long and think: "Oh they're used to this" that is in fact the problem and it makes it worse not better. Try having some goddamn compassion for someone who does not look and act like your mirror reflection, fuck.

Now it's late and I'm tired and this post makes no sense but I was and still am pissed. I also genuinely think the people who made those news reports should be fired. I wouldn't listen to them if THEY paid ME. What a wreck of time to live in.

#ukraine #ukranian #fuck putin #war in ukraine

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