#i am full on having a panic attack

[wearenotjustnumbers2]

Journalists in gaza are posting their last message.

What are we waiting for, what have we allowed to happen?

Ismail and motaz are the same journalists in this video by the way. They're people who always find light in the dark. Praying for them and all Palestinians.

#my god my god #i am not in Palestine but i am hurting for my country and I'm tired for my people how do they feel? when they're right there #ismail jood shared this #can't stop thinking of his son #i am full on having a panic attack #but we can't let despair one #we will be their voices #please don't tire and don't stop! #from the river to the sea palestine will be free #palestine #gaza #israel #important #current events #free palestine #ethnic cleansing #free gaza #gaza strip #gaza under attack #journalist #journaling #journalism #we are not numbers

[codecicle]

nothing really makes you FEEL like you're 14 years old and don't know what youre doing like sitting in a room full of professionals who are all visibly older than you and you're about to sit down and collectively draw a naked model. really makes you FEEL like spiderman but if he was lame and his phone was about to die

#i make yet anothet post just for me 👍 #for obvious reasons i cant post any of the art i make today o/ but just know i am scheming. and i am learning #phone is on a grand total of 6 percent and i have a charger but no real way to plug it in near me #the room is spinning and im definitely having a panic attack but everyone here seems friendly and nice :] #sitting down in this room surrounded by people being the only one on my phone notblooking up is just FULL of the exaggerated swagger of a #white teen /ref

[goldensunset]

shoutout to songs that are good but that you can’t listen to anymore because you feel physically sick being taken back in time to whenever you first discovered them

#ah man like half my liked songs playlist is stuff from last semester/year… #and there’s some good stuff there but i was going through absolute Hell. i don’t want to remember my time as a freshman #like the song itself feels like poison #i remember one time i was having a full blown panic attack which i am not normally prone to #and i attempted to calm myself down by listening to this one relaxing pretty awesome song on loop #well uh. as you might guess i can’t listen to that song anymore or i feel like my chest is going to cave in #like wow i do not want to remember that experience that was one of the worst things i’ve ever been through #peach rambles

[housewifebuck]

Got 2 of my wisdom teeth yoinked. mouth hurty

#the laughing gas have me a full blown panic attack #which I very much foresaw happening #and then I cried thru the entire procedure lol #i am 22 years old bro. this is so embarrassing #I’m omw home now and I’m like. still crying for some reason #I’m literally traumatized 😭 I hate it here #personal #medical tw

[damiemontclair]

Is it ridiculous to think maybe this whole hospital thing and related business has mildly traumatised me? Is it ridiculous that I want to write about it in excruciating detail, just get the experience out on paper, on my blog, somewhere? It feels dumb but I want to write fic about it. I think it'd fix me.

#Still haven't really properly cried tho I am kinda tearing up as I write this #I'm not having a good mental health time rn ngl #The callous way some of the docs treated me; the way their sole focus was on reproduction without a single care for the hormones... #The generally terrible way I deal with surgery/post-surgery #It wasn't. As bad? The last few times? #I think I've also made myself forget a lot from the first 2 times #3rd time was more traumatising. #This last one tho... I never stayed for more than a night at the hospital. I never want to stay at a hospital ever again. #I never want to have surgery again #I swear if I have to do that again I will have my panic attack before they even put me under #It was so painful this time and people weren't listening to me at all when I told them the iv wasn't sitting right anymore #Nurses and doctors kept dismissing my opinions and wishes and needs.... #It was like as a patient you're less than human. #My arm is still bruised from where they fucked up their blood draws... #I'm so tired but I can't seem to rest #I'm so full of emotions but I can't seem to let them go and *cry* #Its like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop #Pls ignore me amd my rambles I'm just. Not doing too hot rn. #damie talks

[moony-ghoul]

being a stoner with a fear of vomiting and a low tolerance and chronic stupidity is a recipe for disaster

#i have greened out 4 times this year #i do have a full blown panic attack every time and went completely nonverbal last time #trust me i am very tired of always being the one to green out

[lightbluetown]

i'm not gonna lie, with the whole s2 confrontation against the british and all i was expecting the soldiers to be like "hey these two pirate captains actually signed the act of grace! yeah we sent them to privateering school! and then they both disappeared on the same night in which admiral chauncey badminton was killed in the woods!! Suspicious!!"

#ofmd #our flag means death #stede bonnet #edward teach #am i saying id like to see a soldier accuse stede and/or ed of killing chauncey? #and to see both stede and ed's faces fall at the mention of that night? #for ed to be like 'psssh we didn't do shit' #and for stede to have a full-on panic attack? #.........yes i'd like to see that Sorry

[arrowpunk]

My wife, who hasn't played BG3 but is doing her damned best to support my obsession with it- had a dream last night that I was a member of the BG3 adventuring party and went missing and her dream was just the origin characters trying to figure out what happened to me and Astarion stole my Tiger and kept her in his tent right next to his ragged blanket because he was afraid she would get lonely without me. And got very indignant and embarrassed when Wyll saw her and asked Astarion what the weird little creature in his tent was, and then Karlach brought out Clive and thought what Astarion was doing was very sweet Astarion was so Upset that the party witnessed him being sweet and caring about someone else's inanimate comfort object.

I realize nobody on the internet is gonna care about this but personally I think it's the most adorable fucking thing.

#ramblings of an arrow #i recognize that I am probably the only person that is gonna appreciate this #but I am inflicting it on all of you anyways #simply some of the dialog Astarion had in her dream I could hear perfectly in his voice #when she relayed it to me after waking up #I also think its extra sweet because I was having a dream at the same time that I lost tiger #and was having like a full on panic attack in my dream #nice to know its okay she was being taken care of by Astarion

[whinlatter]

There's something bugging me about that scene in HBP when Ron and Ginny fight about kissing. Obviously Ron is being a jerk and basically slut shaming his sister, but what caught me off guard was Harry's inner thoughts and the fact that he was agreeing with Ron! When I tell you I was shocked when I read that recently 😭

‘Right,’ said Ginny, tossing her long red hair out of her face and glaring at Ron, ‘let’s get this straight once and for all. It is none of your business who I go out with or what I do with them, Ron –’

‘Yeah, it is!’ said Ron, just as angrily. ‘D’you think I want people saying my sister’s a –’

‘A what?’ shouted Ginny, drawing her wand. ‘A what, exactly?’

‘He doesn’t mean anything, Ginny –’ said Harry automatically, though the monster was roaring its approval of Ron’s words.

Like whyyy Harry 😭 is this as bad to you as it is to me?

Ha, I also had this reaction on my re-read last summer ngl (the re-read that started whatever this is I'm doing now lol). With a bit of distance... I think we can cut Harry a bit of slack in this scene. The man is having an absolute shocker. He’s just seen Ginny kissing his dorm mate and, for some reason, this has caused his head to explode. He’s wildly grasping around for a reason why he’s suddenly furious this has happened and has no idea why. So when Ron’s like ‘uh I don’t want to have to see this! What will people think!’ Harry’s like yeah, that must be it! I’m worried what people will think! That’s a brotherly way of responding to this situation! Except… unless… what if instead of Dean kissing her… the person kissing her… was me… maybe then… it would be ok… wait 🫥 

(Also I kind of love that Harry 'automatically' tries to reassure Ginny even while having his small large internal breakdown. Even in a moment of emotional disarray he immediately distances himself from his best mate, and then fully pushes Ron up against a wall when he tries to hex his sister. King shit)

#these gifs are live footage #of each of harry and ron's emotional responses to pulling back that tapestry and seeing ginny getting her snog on #ron: well this speaks to every single one of my insecurities and i would now like to rip my own eyes out #harry (carl from succession voice): full disclosure i am uh currently having a panic attack #couple of idiots the pair of you #hinny #ask

[veritasrose]

I didn’t want to take an edible (even though they are legal here) because I have the exam with the government doctor tomorrow and I want things to be as accurate as possible.

However the insomnia… oof.

#at least my mom is driving me so if i am tired it wont matter #and she is driving me since last time that psychologist told me i was too fat to be autistic #and in fact that she could not believe my doctors were okay with my size even if I WAS recovering from anorexia #and I ended up pulling over and having a full on meltdown panic attack on the side if the road after #so now my family doesn’t let me go into these things alone #which is nice #anyway i am so tired but still buzzin #veritasrose rambles

[feelslikegold]

.

#so #I guess I need to vent bc I can’t handle my anxiety and isolation any longer ig #my mother has been in the hospital for a week now #she had pneumonia but then they found all these things #like a blood clot in the lung and stuff #and they said it was symptoms of long covid bc me and her got hit hard in 2021 with covid #and they put her on a lot of medication and ran a bunch of tests #and they said that from long covid #she has some damage to her heart #idk anything about medical stuff and she’s waiting on the cardiologist to go talk to her #but I am 2000 miles away #and feel so helpless and so hopeless #and i’m really close with my parents/the baby of the family #and I have had severe anxiety since she went in #and each day it gets worse bc tests show something new #and I literally do not know how to handle it #I also have obsessive repetitive thoughts that are god awful and they have not stopped in a full week #so I have made myself ultimately SO sick from anxiety like I have my own chest pains rn #and then the hypochondriac in me is like…I had covid when she did and we had the same lingering symptoms so like. is my heart damaged too 🙂 #and yeah like. I have had severe panic attacks daily now like I just had one in a parking lot and had to go home and now I just feel????? #so numb and so????? I genuinely hate this I cannot handle shit like this

[soft-serve-soymilk]

excuse me????????

#just pav things #in what world is that a discount 😭 just sell it at full price at that point #yes i am in the market for a new laptop. when i get hired in october i'm saving my paychecks for one #(yes I graduate in october which makes it a shorter school year by 2 months but that's for another time) #I have my eyes on the aorus/republic of gamers stuff specifically #mostly because i'm still traumatised by the lenovo's untimely fate and how i was screamed at while having a panic attack abt it #and also i want something that is powerful and girthy #i wanna play my silly viddy games on it and also have it not look fragile and breakable by my hands #ergo i am the target audience but maybe for the lower-range/ mid-range stuff ^^; #then i can upgrade later but I do think i need to be rid of the current one asap #I hope it can last *checks notes* 7 months without spontaneously exploding~ #......says the person who TOUCHED the battery and immediately understood it is FILLED with toxic gases with that level of bounce #Pav just makes bad decisions you all should know that.

[steakout-05]

eeuuaghh i would like everyone to know that i apologise if i have not responded to your reblogs/mentions/posts on tumblr, i have really terrible social anxiety and for some reason people talking to me makes my nervous system think i'm being hunted for sport by a resident evil boss. sorry if i havent responded i'm not being rude i'm just having a panic attack :P

additionally: social anxiety is actually the reason why a lot of my old posts from late 2022 had weird spacing and spelling mistakes. i was too anxious to type properly

#sorry this seems like a random thing to post but it has been bugging me for a little bit now and i want to post it #and by a little bit i mean the entire time i've been on this website #as for the reason i have social anxiety: i went to a really terrible high school full of dangerous people- #-who were literally like. the worst most bigoted people ever. not everyone there was bad of course but 90% of them were- #-and that stunted by social development by 5-6 years and now every time someone talks to me i feel like i'm about to get murdered #also primary school was. bad. the other kids could sniff out the autism in me and didn't like me for it #this post isn't directed towards anyone specifically but also it kinda is because there's a DM from someone- #-that i haven't responded to in literally 8 months and every time i think about it i get anxious #i'm sorry!!! i'm not trying to ignore you on purpose and i want to say something but my brain literally will not let me out of fear :( #i'm not used to getting talked to directly so every time i do my entire nervous system starts screaming and running in circles #it's kinda ridiculous because it's like. come on. why are you having a panic attack over a message on tumblr it's LITERALLY just words on- #-a screen what are you freaking out about. but also it's like hhhhh unfamiliar social situation scary. help. #unrelated to that but i am very worried about what people will think of me and like i know i really shouldn't worry about that- #-because i can't control what other people think of me and it really shouldn't be any of my or their business. but also- #-i have legitimate trauma that backs my fears up and every time someone is even slightly critical towards me my brain just goes- #-''see? it happened again i TOLD you it would happen again. idiot. you shouldn't have said anything'' #and then i hide and cry and lay in bed thinking about how i'm going to die until i suddenly snap out of it and think- #-''wait hang on why should i care. i love being a weirdo on the internet why should i let my anxieties stop me'' #and then it happens AGAIN and it's just a viscous cycle at that point #be silly on the internet -> detect slight criticism -> think everyone hates you again -> go back on your bullshit after 3 days of crying #and it makes sense because that exact same pattern happened to me countless times as a child. #be silly in school -> get made fun of for it -> get hated for it -> rinse and repeat until you think everyone is dangerous and they hate yo #if i could put it in a metaphor it would be like me being a little rabbit who thinks everyone is a scary wolf because of their big shadows- #-even though they're all also rabbits and i'm just paying attention to the scariest parts of them because i only know what wolves look like #trauma does fucked up things to your psyche lemmie tell you #social anxiety #anxiety disorder #i'm literally the ''too scared to order food'' stereotype except it's not a stereotype because it's real and every time i look at the 7/11- #-at my campus i go ''hm but what if they hate me for the food i buy there'' even though they're LITERALLY SELLING IT what is WRONG with me #anyway um. social anxiety sucks and i don't mean to not reply ro everyone who talks to me i am sorr y

[shivvroys]

i am unfortunately just now processing the matter of caroline coming back with logan dead and her children in various stages of floppage

girl help these trenches are starting to look like graves 😥

#succession spoilers #full disclosure girlies i am uh currently having a panic attack #if we get chiantishire 2.0 psychological warfare im gonna start biting people

[tenuuchlegch]

Not Puss in boots & Death's dynamic reminding me of Zenos' and Odtsetseg's in Endwalker. The main difference being Odtsetseg refused to run despite every ilm inside telling her to do so.

#STRANGE LOPORRIT (ooc) #PAST THE FAR EDGE OF FATE I STAND (endwalker) #SECRETS OF HYDAELYN'S CHOSEN (headcanon) #((In from the cold scarred her man...)) #((literally the watcher prevented Odtsetseg from having a full on panic attack after Zenos left the moon...)) #((She couldn't let despair sink in though cause the world was literally at stake)) #((tbh I am probably gonna get memed on for this comparison but I had to say it //SHOT))

[sweater-equestrian]

not gonna lie the plant idea is really appealing. if I wanted to REALLY treat myself I could even get some carnivorous plants mayhaps.

#i saw someone online make one with spray foam WITHOUT carving foam and just like... laying sheet moss and tree fern panels on it and like. #maybe. maybe. #i hate foam. foam is the worst material ever and made me cry for sensory reasons #like full sob and panic attack skjfhfkjhfskjhfs #SO I AM NOT ever carving foam again <3 #but i think. i could handle just using it as a base? for sheet moss? idk #the pro there also is.... i could hide tubing for a waterfall in it then 👀 #idk if id commit to that but then i could get my running water sounds in my room like ive wanted AND get some aquatic plants #without ever having to worry about like... typical tank issues #idk i think im cooking with gas on this one ngl