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radiojamming · 4 years

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Can you tell us anything more about John Hartnell's time on the Voltage?

Hell yeah, I can! I have some pictures from the log books I can post later, too. I legit sat for H O U R S reading tiny handwriting from the master’s logs. Most of the logs were lists of chores, punishments, notes on the weather, and any major events. John’s time on the Volage can be divided pretty neatly in half, between the ship’s North American tour, and its Irish Sea patrol, all between 1841-45.

The North American part was probably pretty exciting for him, considering that he’d been a shoemaker since he was thirteen years old. Compared to what his brother had been up to on the Volage (the Aden Expedition, Battle of Chuenpi, etc.), it focused less on military ventures and more on transportation and patrol. The first major thing it did was in December of 1841, when it accompanied the HMS Warspite and HMS Thalia in taking the King of Prussia, Frederick William IV to England to attend the christening of the Prince of Wales. After that, it scurried over to Plymouth to get new fittings, and then took off for the Caribbean.

A lot happened in the Caribbean, and reading through the log books (always written in very non-emotional language, but still entertaining) paints a very eclectic picture of their activities. The Volage went to Jamaica first, awaiting orders until they were ordered to go to Saint Martha to pick up... $800,000 in gold. Legit, that sat on the Volage for two months until they dropped it off in Port Royal. By then, half the crew was incredibly ill with a mix of diseases including what might have been dysentery. Amazingly, for all of John’s terrible luck, he doesn’t appear on the sick list, even as one of the lieutenant’s eventually died as well as the clerk.

They scurried back and forth across the Caribbean from January of 1842 until they departed for Halifax, Nova Scotia later that summer. (Land of @theiceandbones!) In all honesty, the Volage didn’t get up to much during it’s time in Halifax. They didn’t necessarily have a mission, but it does make for some really entertaining reading! There was a lot of shore leave, for instance. Here are some of the notes I wrote on my read-through between the Caribbean and Halifax (which is from ADM 54/312):

Mondays and Fridays are mandatory clothes-washing days.

8th of July 1842 - “Punished Michael Logan with 48 [!] lashes for Disobedience of Orders and Insolence”

12th of July 1842, 6pm - “Committed to the deep the Body of Samuel Marvin (AB) Deceased.” / “Departed this life William Baillie (boy) - Buried at sea on the 13th.”

18th of July 1842, 10:50 pm - “Heard the report of several Guns from the North” [in Halifax]

20th of July 1842 - Halifax Citadel visit and the burial of Robert Webb (boy), Samuel Gibbon, John Barnes, and Samuel Brummage (carpenter’s mate) on shore

Godden reports that several warm nights, sailors were permitted to use their hammocks and sleep on the beach! (I put a smiley face next to my note here!)

Most of their Halifax mooring was spent cleaning. Lots of repainting, holystoning, repairing, etc.

Multiple discharges for “uselessness” and “disgrace”.

The latter note is really interesting, considering that none other than Charles Dickens visited Halifax that same year, and made note of sailors making total idiots out of themselves on oysters and champagne. Indeed, there are plenty of punishments recorded for that summer for drunkenness, insubordination, and desertion, again sometimes up to 48 lashes. (I’ll post a picture of the log just to confirm that.) On a high note, John Hartnell wasn’t punished once! And believe me, I looked!

They did have to have some repair work done to fix a leak in October before scurrying back down south with the “Squadron”. Godden makes some pretty boring notes about looking at the United States coast (as in essentially saying, “Yep, there it is!”) before they hang tight to the coast of Mexico.

The Volage appears to have been outfitted for doing survey work, which is part of what they did for the next few months. Between that, mooring for absolutely nothing, and hanging out with slave ship hunters (I like to think they high-fived the HMS Racer at some point) their zig-zag order of ports of call are:

Barbados > Puerto Rico > Grenada > St. Vincent > Jamaica > St. Lucie > Antigua > Jamaica (long-term Port Royal mooring) > Haiti

By early 1843, the Volage was headed back home. They docked in Plymouth for a time before getting their next orders for the Admiralty for the apparently much-maligned Irish Sea duty. At this point, Captain William Dickson had a temporary replacement for the deceased Lt. Davey, but eventually, that lieutenant had to leave as well. Captain Dickson did get a note from the Admiralty that he was to get his replacement at the Cove of Cork, and according to the sudden burst of tiny handwriting at the bottom of the page on Tuesday, August 29th, 1843, Captain Dickson totally forgot about that. Literally, the note for the day is kind of falling off the page from squeezing it in, but reads: “Read the Commission of Lieut J Irving”.

Because Lieutenant John Irving hopped on board as a new replacement, thus using those sweet, sweet letters of his to describe the next few months. He was absolutely meticulous about dating his letters, and having them on hand in his memoir made it easy to line up with Godden’s notes in the master’s log, confirming everything between the two of them. This time, Irish patrol got kind of exciting.

First, here’s Irving talking about joining the Volage, saying much nicer things about Capt. Dickson considering the captain was probably going, “Oh shit right I forgot we were doing this.”

“To my great joy I found the ‘Volage’ at anchor here. I was afraid she might have gone somewhere else. I went on board direct from the steamer, and was introduced to Sir William Dickson, the Captain; rigged myself in a blue coat and a pair of epaulettes; the hands were turned up, and the Captain read my commission appointing me lieutenant of the ship to the ship’s company. There are three of us. I am the second in seniority. Our mess consists of seven--viz., three lieutenants, one master, surgeon, a lieutenant of marines. They are all very good fellows. I was three years messmate of one of them in a former ship, so am comfortable in that respect.”

Irving noted that the officers were frequently invited to parties in Cork (”I could be at parties every day if I liked;”), and Godden does say that the rest of the crew were given shore leave fairly frequently, even though they didn’t have enough officers to allow them to leave as often.

For the next four months, the Volage remained at Cork, doing patrol with several other man-of-war’s. On land, there were frequent clashes between the Protestants and the Catholics, but more importantly, there were the Repealers following Daniel O’Connell’s urging to repeal the Acts of the Union and re-establish the independent Kingdom of Ireland. Between Irving and Godden, the image of this time from the perspective of the Volage is one of a lot of bloody rumors and high tension (a Protestant curate was killed, houses were being burned down). However, O’Connell’s followers were very civil to the sailors and actually invited some of the Volage officers to visit their homes. Irving called their hospitality “quite Highland”.

The Volage was temporarily relieved of its patrol in December, and returned to Plymouth by January of 1844 for refitting and repair work after shearing off part of her keel. Godden and Irving both noted that sailors and officers were boarded on a hulk, or a non-sailing ship. Godden also noted that several sailors were permitted leave to go visiting nearby. (John Hartnell did have family in Plymouth, and Thomas Hartnell may have been visiting the area at the same time, if a pet theory of mine holds up.)

They were back in the Cove of Cork by February, with the Volage now as the flagship. During a period between February and June, the Volage frequently made trips between Cork and the town of Bantry, after further pro-Repealer agitation began to raise tensions once more. Godden’s log doesn’t say much on the subject aside from weather reports and notes on officers leaving the ship to attend parties, major gatherings in town (there’s a really interesting bit from Irving on scaring the bejeezus out of a group of paraders and stealing the Waterford city flag), and switching out officers. However, the tensions once again didn’t amount to much more than far-off reports of violence and a few observations of pissed-off “pisantry”. The Volage did return to Plymouth for Christmas before returning for a short turn in Cork, and then being paid off completely. The log for that topic shows that John Hartnell was paid off on February 1st, 1845.

As far as what life would have been like for John Hartnell on the Volage, it’s hard to say for sure since, once again, Godden’s logs are impersonal. However, he was responsible for recording all punishments, injuries, illnesses, and deaths, of which there was no lack. He also kept meticulous note of what chores were to be done on particular days, as well as drills. I noticed there was a lot of repetition in the chore schedule, and there was a slight uptick in sailors suddenly taking ill with “unknown” illnesses about two and a half years in, especially on days that had chores requiring a little more elbow grease.

But I think, as I said, this would have been very exciting for someone like John. After all, he voluntarily signed up for the Erebus four months after signing off on the Volage. Unfortunately, we don’t have any letters to or from him that might hint to how he felt during this time, so we have to take it from his actions rather than his words. I like to think he enjoyed himself.

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fabulousquel · 5 years

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GreedFall: Tips + My Review

So I picked up this game out of curiosity because I’m currently working on an RPG style historical fantasy that draws inspiration from a similar time period. I wanted to see how someone else handled the ‘flintlock’ genre and told a story with elements of this era. I am in no means a pro game reviewer but I completed the entire game yesterday and I have a lot I want to say.

There are some spoilers in this, so if you’d like to avoid reading them, don’t read the "Story” section.

Tips:

Do your companion quests early and as soon as they pop up. There are some incredible lore bits and development of your character as well as your companions within them. Also if you sideline a companion for too long, they might leave your party in ways that might surprise or unsurprise you.

Certain dialog options will give you more quest content. For example, you’ve caught a criminal and you are given the choice to kill them on the spot, or capture them for trial. If you kill them, your quest line ends there. If you decide to trial them, another quest line opens up and you get a lot more flavor.

You can essentially just follow the main quest line if you want to speed-finish the game, but you lose a lot of context and additional dialog options if you do so. You will also wind up fighting the final boss at a much lower level, thus making the fight harder, but not impossible. They may have made this an option for people coming back wanting a challenge or to try a different build. But in my opinion, they should’ve made the side quests a mandatory thing because it’s a huge disservice to the context of the main story without them.

Don’t forget to give your companions gear upgrades- especially if you’re playing on more challenging modes.

If you want to avoid bloodshed and sneak into a camp, make sure you put on a chest piece of that faction.

Put some skill points into Stasis no matter what build you roll with.

The Soundtrack:

It’s amazing. The snare drums going off in combat sequences create a very distinct and powerful mood. The zone music is very well orchestrated. It’s now up on spotify as well!

Combat & Talents:

Of the RPGs I’ve played, this most reminded me of a combination of Red Dead Redemption, Final Fantasy with the option to semi-turn style with spells & traps, and a very versatile talent tree system that is really...fun. It’s the first time in a while that I felt I could make an effective solid build and playstyle around what I wanted to do most. Combat takes getting used to but I set up my keybinds to be a lot like ESO and I adapted very quickly. I went shortsword / gun tactical and it was immensely satisfying.

The Story:

[SPOILS AHEAD]

The difference between historical fiction and historical fantasy is that a historical fantasy does not seek to retell history accurately, but rather take inspiration from it. How heavy this inspiration goes varies from story to story. This is how I approached interpreting the story, even in its very realistic parts. As I played through, there were several themes that became very clear to me. Keep in mind that I played through the game with De Sarde taking the Neutral Good alignment choice in most dialog options.

The Elephant in the Room: Colonialism. This is one of the big criticisms I see with the game, and truth be told, it is a point of criticism for myself. The game treats the colonizing factions exactly like colonizers of real history, and it’s a subject that still rightfully touches nerves. One faction seeks to profit, another nation seeks to convert, and another seeks to experiment on. While there are subgroups of these factions that are more extreme than their leadership- the leadership seems complacent about it until condemning evidence is brought up. While extremely problematic this is, it is very true to what has happened in history surrounding colonialism, and places you in one uncomfortable situation after another in a frighteningly realistic way. It makes your decisions as De Sarde in some instances painful but it can be satisfying to see how your actions affect justice in these matters.

Some critics have said that De Sarde’s choices do not always condemn truly objectionable events enough. I agree that more depth could have been added. But in my playthrough, De Sarde’s role starts out as a truly neutral party looking for truths, and they gradually became more adamant on stances as the game progressed. By the end, my De Sarde was about to 1v1 Theleme, and drag out the Bridge Alliance governor. So I am unsure if this is a perspective coming from those who haven’t completed the game in its entirety with all side quests which influence reputations more & seem to flesh out more dialog options.

Humanity Has a Sickness This was written both physically and metaphorically in how humans are as susceptible to committing atrocities as they are to growing ill. Throughout the story as De Sarde, you play almost a detective in uncovering the truth about the people you were raised to believe were benevolent. De Sarde does not take these accusations of corruption lightly, but they also treat it very seriously. Piece by piece, De Sarde learns more about each factions true intentions, and the lies, corruption and greed that intertwine. But at the same time, the story attempts to reveal the potential for all people to ‘do better’ and change- and some of this is seen when you use De Sarde’s charisma + intuition dialog options. This theme especially became clear in the arc when De Sarde finally gets to speak to the god of the island, En on mil Frichtimen, who expresses to him that the malicor (sickness) is a result of them poisoning their own land with their lack of care or concern for it. En on mil Frichtimen urges that the colonists need to listen and learn from the Islanders’ ways if they wish to heal the sickness.

Where to Draw the Line at “For The Greater Good” I feel like this is a theme that crops up with any story involving Utopian ideas. GreedFall does a good job of backing up each faction’s actions with their point of view, whether it is morally misguided or not. This truly emphasizes the human element in the mix, underlining that no perspective comes without its flaws. As De Sarde, one thing you are constantly faced with as a detective is defining a line of where something has gone too far. It is sobering and somewhat frustrating to watch factions step over a line that could have easily remained morally sound. But it is also equally satisfying to see how much influence you can have in swaying others to make a different choice. This theme becomes the summit of De Sarde’s character progression when he is forced to make the choice of taking your dear cousin, Constantin, out of power, or joining him. And when you’ve done all the side quests there are in the game, the decision becomes far more meaningful than this just being the final boss fight.

This theme also seems to come full circle by the end of Petrus’s quest line, when you discover your true origin- how your mother was kidnapped from the island in a rash attempt to bring a healer to the continent. This realization that everything you’ve known has been a lie and kept secret from you...all for the “greater good”.

Things I Liked:

I appreciated how much love and care went into the worldbuilding- especially with the native Islanders. From what I understand, a linguist was hired to write a language for them that was a mash-up of Flemish, Breton, Gaelic and Irish. I appreciated that they brought forth inspiration from the Gauls and Celtic nations of the Iron Age in Western Europe before they were subjected to Christian Missionary activity.

The art & atmosphere was amazing. While there are a few clipping issues with hair, even big AAA games have them. The level of detail put into the game art wise is just very visually pleasing.

The devs did a good job in making a fantasy world that was LGBTQ+ friendly, and giving us diverse character customization. Anyone from any faction had a diverse set of features.

Things I am Critical of:

While I understand that there is a point of growth to watch De Sarde go from neutral to invested in a cause, I really do think they should have been given less complacent responses earlier in the game. I understand limitations but I don’t think it helped with handling colonialism in a truly neutral way.

I wish you could start the game as someone from a faction of your choice, rather than only the Merchant Congregation, especially considering how your origin is written.

IT’S DEPRESSING. A lot of the game is depressing... which maybe makes all the little things you do that shine some shred of goodness still in humanity all the brighter. But it definitely hurt my soul in places and back to point #1, I wish I could have been more aggressive with De Sarde earlier in the game.

Recycled assets: there were quite a few of them- mostly noticeable with buildings in the main cities, which is probably what marks the difference between an AAA game and a more independent studio.

Potential Triggers:

There’s a lot of heavy subjects in this game including religious abuse, manipulation, some body horror (though it’s not super grotesque), one instance of suicide that I know of, xenophobia, and general violence.

Features I Wish it Had:

You can’t ‘jump’...but you don’t really need to. I still wish I could though.

For all this beautiful scenery, I wish they gave us better screenshot taking options.

Different fights for the different Coin Arenas and a meta achievement for completing all of them.

I wish I could play it with friends.

More armor options!

I wish the companions had better and more in-depth romance options. They fall a little flat in diversity of personalities.

Final Thoughts:

I personally enjoy diving into stories that we should be morally critical of, and I like it for what it reveals in the best and worst of humanity. Colonialism has done and continues to do irreversible damage to peace and prosperity among people and nations in real life. Spiders picked a topic that nearly everyone has been affected by in one way or another and it’s understandably a heated subject. Some folks do not want to dive into such deep subjects, just as there’s some stories I cannot stomach comfortably. So I respect and understand that.

Overall, GreedFall exceeded my expectations but there’s definitely some hiccups. It’s a fun game if you’re into a detective-style RPG, political intrigue, history, and interested in exploring this sort of setting. While I think the story could have been written better in places, I was satisfied with the outcomes I triggered, even if that satisfaction took a very slow build up to. It left me feeling hopeful? That perhaps people still have a chance at treating each other better than they do.

#greedfall #review #just thoughts #big post

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archiefm · 4 years

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... claws my way up from hell once more and vomits onto the dash.... hello. its nora. i used to write rory bergstrom, but if u were here before that u might remember me as greta or alma putnam or..... som1 else.... an endless carousel of trash children..... this is finn, who i actually wrote for an early version of this rp abt 5yrs back now...... grits teeth..... so forgive me if im rusty i havent written him in a long time but seein honey boy gave me a lotta finn muse n im keen to get Back On The Horse yeehaww...

DYLAN O’BRIEN / CIS-MALE — don’t look now, but is that finn o’callaghan i see? the 25 year old criminology and forensic studies student is in their graduate year of study year and he is a rochester alum. i hear they can be judicious, adroit, morose and cynical, so maybe keep that in mind. i bet he will make a name for themselves living off-campus. ( nora. 24. gmt. she/her )

shakes my tin can a humble pinterest, ma’am....

finn has a bio pasted at the bottom (n written in like.... 2015.... gross) but it’s long so if u don’t wanna read it here’s the sparknotes summary..... anyway this was written years ago n a lot of it seems really cliche and lame now but..... we accept the trash we think we deserve

grumpy, ugly sweater wearing, tech-savvy grandpa

very dry sense of humour and embraces nihilism.

if ron swanson and april ludgate had a baby it would be finn

he was raised in derry, just south of dublin.

from a big family. elder sister called sinead. he also has a younger sister (aoife), a younger brother (colm), and a collie named lassie because his father lovs cliches (finn hates cliches but loves his dog).

his father was a pub landlord and his mother worked at the market sellin fruit n veg when they met but got a job as a medical receptionist when she had kids cos it meant she cld be there with them in the day and work nights.

his parents met when they were p young and fiesty and rushed into marriage cos they were catholic n just wanted to have sex. his family were literally dirt-poor, but they had a lot of love i guess

hmmmmm his relationship w his father wasn’t the best cos i can’t write character who have healthy relationships w their parents throws up a peace sign. yh, had a pretty emotionally distant, alcoholic violent father n so gets a lot of his bad habits i.e. drinking as a coping mechanism and poor anger management from him BUT anyway

as a kid he was never very motivated in class, he always had a nervous itch to be off somewhere doing something else. struggled under government austerity bcso there just wasn’t the resources to support low income families where the kids had learning difficulties n needed support. fuck the tories am i right

his mum suggested he try sports to help w his restless energy but he was never any good at football so he took up boxing and tap dance instead. he took to tap dancing like a fish to fuckin water. as adhd n found this as a really good way to use his excess energy in a creative way

had a few run ins with the police in his early teens for spray painting and graffiti, but he straightened himself out n now actually considering becoming a detective inspector??? cops are pigs.

he had a youtube channel where he posted videos of him tapdancing and breakdancing as a kid, basically would be a tiktok boy nowadays, n had like... a small fanbase in his early teens. attended several open auditions unsuccessfully, until he was finally cast in billy eliot when he was fifteen.

during billy eliot he began dating an italian dancer called nina. they became dance partners soon after and toured across the republic with various different shows (inc riverdance lol the classic irish stereotype). their relationship was p toxic tbh, they were both very hot tempered people and just used to argue and fight all the time.

he went semi-pro at tap dancing, and nina couldn’t stand being second best so she moved back to italy with her family. ignored his texts, phone calls, etc, eventually he was driven to the point where he used his savings to buy a plane ticket, showed up at her house and she was like wtf?? freaked out and filed a restraining order accusing him of stalking.

he was fined for harassment and then returned home to derry, but after the incident with nina he quit dancing for good and finished his leaving cert before heading to university in the US to get as far away from nina and his past life as poss. and basically since he quit dancing to study forensics (death kink. finn cant get enough of that morgue. just walks around sayin beat u) he’s become a massive grump and jsut doesn’t see the good in people any more.

u’ll find finn in an old man bar drinking whiskey bc he is in fact an old man at heart or sat on his roof smoking a joint, drawing wolves and lions and skeletons and shit, playing call of duty or getting blazed or at the corner of the room in a house party ignoring everyone and scrolling through twitter. is a massive e-boy. always up-to-date on memes and internet slang. has reddit as an app on his phone

not very good at communication. rather than solve his issues by talking, he’d prefer to just solve them through fighting or running away from his problems hence why he has come halfway across the world to get away from an issue which probs cld have been solved w a few apology emails.

takes a lot to phase him, but when his beserk button gets pressed he can become a bit pugnacious like an angry lil rottweiler. in his undergrad he was in a few fist fights but doesn’t really do tht any more as he doesn’t condone violence.

in the previous version of this rp he was hospitalised like 5 times. pls, give my son a break. stop tryin to kill him. he literaly got a bottle smashed over his head and bled out all over his favourite angora rug that was the only light of his life

works at the campus coffee shop n always whines about how he’s a slave to capitalism. always smells of coffee

lives off campus with an elderly woman named Marianne, and basically gets reduced rent bcos he makes her dinner / keeps her company. they have a great bond

fan of karl marx. v big on socialism

insomniac with chronic nosebleeds

cynical about everything. too much of a fight club character 4 his own good n has his head up tyler durden’s sphincter

always confused or annoyed

statistics

basic information

full name: finnegan seamus o'callaghan nickname(s): finn age: 25 astrological sign: aries hometown: derry, ireland occupation: phd student / former street entertainer fatal flaw: cynicism positives: self-reliant, street smart, relaxed, intelligent, spontaneous, brave, independent, reliable, trustworthy, loyal. negatives: hostile, impulsive, stubborn, brooding, pugnacious, untrusting, cynical, enigmatic, reserved.

physical

colouring: medium hair colour: dark brown, almost black eye colour: brown height: 5’9” weight: 69kg build: tall, athletic voice: subtle irish accent, low, smooth. dominant hand: left scar(s): one on the left side of his ribs from a knife wound that he doesn’t remember getting cos he was drunk distinguishing marks: freckles, tattoo of a wolf howling at a moon allergies: pollen and the full spectrum of human emotion alcohol tolerance: high drunken behaviour: he becomes friendlier, far more conversational than when sober, flirtier, and generally more self-confident.

psychological

dreams/goals: self-fulfilment, travel the globe, experience life in its most alive and technicoloured version, make documentary films, help the vulnerable in society, grow as a human being.

skills: jack-of-all-trades, very fast runner, good at thieving things, talented tap dancer, good in crisis situations, dab-hand at mechanics, musically-intelligent, can throw a mean right hook and very capable of defending himself, can roll a cigarette, memorises quotes and passages of literature with ease, can light a match with his teeth.

likes: the smell of the earth after rain, poetry, cigarettes, shakespeare, whiskey, tattoos, travelling, ac/dc, deep conversations, leather jackets, open spaces, the smell of petrol, early noughties ‘emo phase’ anthems.

dislikes: the government, parties, rules, donald trump, children, apple products, weddings, people in general, small talk, dependency, loneliness, pop music, public transport, justin timberlake, uncertainty.fears: fear itself, drowning alignment: true neutral mbti: istp – “while their mechanical tendencies can make them appear simple at a glance, istps are actually quite enigmatic. friendly but very private, calm but suddenly spontaneous, extremely curious but unable to stay focused on formal studies, istp personalities can be a challenge to predict, even by their friends and loved ones. istps can seem very loyal and steady for a while, but they tend to build up a store of impulsive energy that explodes without warning, taking their interests in bold new directions.” (via 16personalities.com)

full bio (lame as fuck written years ago..... pleathe...)

tw homophobia

born in quigley’s pub on the backstreets of sunny dublin, young finnegan o'callaghan was thrown kicking and screaming into the rowdy suburbs of irish drinking culture. the son of a landlord and a fishwife, he never had much in the way of earnings, but there was never a dull moment in his lively estate, where asbo’s thrived, but community spirit conquered. at school, finn was pegged as lazy and unmotivated, though truly his dyslexia made it hard for the boy to learn in the same environment of his peers and only made him more closed-off in class. struggling with anger management, finn moved from school to school, unable to fit the cookie-cutter mould that school enforced on him, though whilst academic studies were of little interest to the boy, he soon found his true passions lay in recreational activities. immersed into the joys of sport from as young as four, finn was an ardent munster fan and anticipated nothing more than the day he could finally fit into his brother’s old pair of rugby boots.

his calling finally came unexpectedly, not in the form of rugger, but through dance. to learn to express himself in a non-academic way, he began tap dancing, finding therapy in the beat of his soles against the cracked kitchen tiles (much to his mother’s disgrace). it wasn’t a conscious choice, finn just realised one day that dance was something that made him feel. a king of the streets, finn made his fortune on those cobbled pavements – dancing and drawing to earn his keep. by default, finn became a street artist, each penny he earned from his chalk drawings saved in a jam jar towards buying his first pair of tap shoes. though many of his less-than-amiable neighbours called him a nancy and a gaybo, finn refused to quit at his somewhat ‘unconventional’ hobby, for the young scrapper found energy, life, and released anger through the rhythm of tap. soon he branched out into street dance, hip hop, break dancing, lyrical, his days spent smacking his scuffed feet against the broken patio into the night.

when he was thirteen he took up boxing, and as expected, his newfound ‘macho’ pastime conflicted with his dancing. the boxers called him ‘soft’; the dancers called him ‘inelegant’. he felt like two different people; having to choose between interests was like being handed a knife and asked to which half of himself he wished to cut away. he couldn’t afford professional training in dance, with most schools based in england and limited scholarships available. instead, he made the street his studio, racking up a small fanbase on youtube. when he was fifteen he made his debut in billy eliot at the olympia theatre in dublin. enter nina de souza, talented, beautiful and italian; ballet dancer, operatic singer, genius whiz kid, and spoiled brat. she was selfish, conceited, hell bent on getting her own way, and every director’s nightmare. finn fell for her like a house of cards. he’d always had a soft spot for girls who meant trouble. and so their hellish courtship began.

by the time they were seventeen, the two young swans had danced in every playhouse across the republic. they were known in theatres across the country for their tempestuous personalities, their raging arguments with one another, their tendency to drop out of shows altogether without any notice, yet the money kept rolling in and the audiences continued to grow. for three years, their families continued to put up with their hysterical fights followed by passionate reconciliations. he was too possessive, and she was too wild. their carcrash of a relationship finally came to a catastrophic halt when nina broke off the whole affair and returned to italy with her family. for months finn tried to contact her, yet his phone calls, texts, facebook messages were always ignored, until finally he was driven to drastic measures and used his savings to get a plane to her home town. when finn turned up uninvited at nina’s house she freaked out – and rightly so – she contacted her agent, accused him of stalking her, and had a restraining order placed against him. finn was arrested, held in a station overnight, and charged with harassment before he was allowed to return to dublin.

after the incident with nina, finn lost the fight in his eyes. he became far more hostile, far less likely to retaliate with his own fists, and picked fights not for the thrill of feeling his own fists pummel another into a wall, but for the sensation of his own brittle bones cracking. he dropped his tap shoes in a dumpster, stopped talking to his friends, followed his father’s advice and went back to school to complete his leaving certificate. a few short months later, and finn was packing his bags, saying his bittersweet goodbyes, and travelling half-way across the globe to be as far away as possible from his past self, his mess of a life, and most of all nina. it seemed somehow ironic that the boy who had been cautioned by the garda so much during his youth for spray painting, busking without a liscence, and raucous parties would become the grumpy, aloof overseas student studying a degree in criminology; that his once reckless spirit could be crushed so easily.

of all things that finn could be called, straightforward would never be one of them. ever since his first days in atticus, the boy was pegged as hostile, hot-headed, cynical, rude. he seemed to spend more time in his thoughts than engaging in conversation. like a ticking time-bomb, finn’s anger was of the calm kind, liable to explode without a moment’s noticed. his unpredictable personality make him something of an enigma to those who aren’t amiable with the lad, though hostile as he may appear, he harvests a good heart. loyalty lies at the centre of his affections, and whilst his friends are few in number, he makes a lifelong partner. somewhere within finn, there’s still some fight left, but mostly he has recognised that his hedonistic lifestyle did little to leave him fulfilled – mostly, it just emptied him out – and over his three years at university has resigned himself to a nihilistic predicament.

if u wanna plot with me pls pls pls im me or like this post!! i am always game for plots i love em so excited to write with you all here r some ideas

study buddies. finn is now a phd student so has to start takin shit seriously. he gon be in the library every day doing that independent study. if he had ppl who were also regular library goers n they get each other coffees to save time.... tht wld be sweet

ppl who love techno dj sets and going super hard on the weekends!!! fuck yea

friends with benefits. exes on bad terms. ppl he tried to date but couldnt because he’s always emotionally hung up on someone else. spicy hook up plots

ppl he met touring?? maybe ppl who were also in the entertainment industry..... anyone got a character who is ex circus hit me up

does anyone else study criminology / forensics / criminal psych / law? phd students sometimes lecture so he cld be an assistant lecturer / tutor if ur character is in a younger year

gamers !!! social recluses !!! hermits !!

finn goes to the skatepark and all the young boys there think he’s a gradnpa which he is!

#huntingtonintro #is tht the tag....... idk..... msg me xo

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actuallylorelaigilmore · 5 years

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The Complete List Of Reasons To Watch The Things I Submitted

300

For the aesthetics of it, and the general rush of stylized war glory vibes, I love it. But for the gore and the general homophobia, I warn you off. It's up to you. (Ultimately, this movie may be read as the most expensive porno ever produced, due to the sheer tonnage of rippling muscle involved. I am not sure if this is a pro or con for you.)

cairo time

The slowest burn of all time, starring the incomparable Patricia Clarkson and Alexander Siddig. Exquisite. Just...if they made the phrase "slow burn" into a movie. Emphasis more on slow than on burn, but still with enough burn to outclass a dozen other average romances.

crazy rich asians

You think you're gonna love this, and you're right!

crouching tiger hidden dragon

The action is amazing, the characters are unexpected, and you genuinely don't know how it's gonna end till it ends. Everything you could ask for in a martial arts movie and more. Great woman characters especially for a male-dominated field. Drama, playfulness, romance, it really has it all.

the godfather

Masterpiece, I promise it is good. You have probably heard that already, so I will say nothing more.

the grandmaster

Highly aesthetic martial arts movie including maybe the single best martial arts scene I've ever seen, one that takes place in a train station in the snow that just gets me every time. The Grandmaster is technically about the guy who popularizes Wing Chun, a style of martial arts, while the Japanese are screwing with everyone's lives. But the #1 reason to watch it is his love interest, played by the flawless Gong Er, and their emotionally charged fight scenes. a;sdjf;asljkdfl;asjdfjasldfj I cannot with those two.

venom

The whole movie is way better if you just watch it as a movie about a loser human and a loser alien falling in love, as part one in a series of action romcoms about a disaster bi reporter boy, a functioning bi nice doctor man, a distinguished bi ferocious gorgeous lady lawyer & top (obviously I have a favorite lol), and a HONGRY bi alien who just wants to eat everything, and how they will eventually stumble their way into a poly relationship that will last the ages. Now, is that strictly canon? Perhaps not. But it is the reading of the movie that will bring us all the most pleasure, and therefore it is what I recommend.

the wind that shakes the barley

An intimate, raw, and heart-wrenching look at the personal politics of the Irish struggle for independence from the British in the 1920s. Exquisitely acted by a personal favorite, Cillian Murphy. And just...hhhhhh...just, as a politics person, the accurate way that the political arguments are actually argued and made is just...peak. People's voices crack a little and they trip over their words in excitement and passion and desire to get their message out right. Passive people become flaming revolutionaries, while flaming revolutionaries become hardcore pragmatists. You'll get invested in the minutiae of intrarevolutionary ideological debates in a way you never thought you could. It's truly...a good movie.

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celtfather · 2 years

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Serenity Valley Waltz #253

Living literally or metaphorically in a war is a terrible way to live. How do you keep going forward when your friends are dying all around you? Come Adventure with me and my new Kickstarter. Find out how you can keep listening to more Pub Stories on Pub Songs & Stories #253.

WHO'S PLAYING IN THE PUB TODAY

Welcome to Pub Stories. This is the Virtual Public House to share stories and inspiration behind my music.

0:30 - WHAT’S NEW?

First, let me tell you that I am getting ready to Kickstart a new album. If you’re not yet subscribed to my mailing list, please sign up so you don’t miss the Kickstarter. It’s for an album called Come Adventure With Me. It has some more amazing songs. I hope to announce the release of the Kickstarter on the next episode.

Second, you’ll note that this episode is quite a bit shorter than past shows. After much debate, I decided to once again retire the format I’ve been working on for the past year. There was a LOT that I loved about that format. I’ve actually been pretty giddy about it. But the pros just didn’t outweigh the cons. You can read about my decision in my blog on my website.

That said, the Pub Stories are not exactly going away. If you want to keep listening to my Pub Stories, then join my Gunn Runners Club on Patreon. I plan to release two episodes per month in the Spring and Fall season. However, they will be shorter episodes like this and they will focus almost exclusively on my music. You can get that with any pledge on Patreon, for just five buck a month.

And I also plan to post at least one episode per month in the PubSong.com feed. At least through the end of the Spring season.

So what happens to the stories I still have left to publish? Because I do have a few. Those will move to the Irish & Celtic Music Podcast. I’ll add them to every 2-3 episodes.

So again, thank you for all of your support. I truly appreciate everyone who became an actual fan of THIS show.

A special Thanks to my newest Gunn Runners on Patreon: Robert Eby, Mikey Mason, Nowisthewinterofourdiscord, Sue DeSimone, Bill Shields

3:13 - UPCOMING SHOWS

APR 22-24: JordanCon, Atlanta, GA

APR 24: Three Taverns Brewery, Decatur, GA @ 4-7 PM.

APR 29: Pontoon Brewing, Sandy Springs, GA @ 6-9 PM

MAY 6: Tucker Brewing Company, Tucker, GA @ 6:30 - 9:30 PM.

MAY 20: Ironshield Brewing in Lawrenceville, GA @ 7:00 – 10:00 PM.

May 28: The Lost Druid, Avondale Estates, GA @

I was gonna do a story about Tough Times in this show. But I realized I already highlighted it in show #217. It’s even called Tough Times.

3:51 - STORY OF SERENITY VALLEY WALTZ

“Serenity Valley Waltz” changed everything for me. I was not confident I could write a song on command. Heck, I’m still not. But I am MORE confident.

Mikey Mason and I met at a sports bar in Chicago for FuMPFest a few years back. Mikey asked if I’d be interested in starting a podcast where we wrote a song for each episode of Firefly. I didn’t think I could do it. I was nervous as hell, but I wanted to try. I wanted to flex my songwriting muscles and get better. What better way!

So the first episode we watched was “Serenity”. It’s the two-hour introduction to the characters. I remember when I first watched it, I was left in a kind of daze. I didn’t know what to think about the episode.

When I rewatched it, one of the things that stuck out to me was the introductory scene. It’s a flashback to one of the most-important battles of the Unification War. The Battle of Serenity Valley is when the Alliance finally beat back the Browncoats. ⅔ of the Independents died fighting in that battle.

The look of dejection on Malcolm Reynold’s face when the Angels retreat is just incredible. It’s also very appropriate. And then later in the episode when he talks and the season when he talks about Serenity Valley, you can tell there was trauma. The type that must be SO hard to get over.

I mean, imagine fighting in a battle where ⅔ of your family and friends that you’re fighting with end up dead. Hm. ⅔ is such a weird number. Imagine you’re standing with 9 of your best friends and family. At the end of the battle, six of those people are no longer there.

This is the type of stuff that I think about with the War in Ukraine. They’re fighting hard. But the Russians are ruthless and evil. It’s not just fellow soldiers there. It’s family and friends. Imagine that. It makes me want to cry.

That’s where I was when I was writing “Serenity Valley Waltz”. Music is such a great healer. I wanted to write a song for the survivors. How did they do it?

I imagine Mal, Zoe, Tracey and others sitting around the campfire singing this song, raising a glass to the fallen.

The second verse is extra important to me too. Because it’s a realization of the damage we can cause to one another when we don’t believe. It was inspired a bit by the Me Too movement. But also by a couple friends who are very dear to me.

It’s also a universal truth. Sometimes we hurt those around us. Sometimes we just don’t want to believe it. Either from their own ignorance or because they just don’t trust you. Maybe because we’re a bit dramatic at times or because they’re in their own colored-glasses world.

What’s made a huge difference is my family. When I’m sad or hurting, I turn to them. But I learned the Serenity Prayer from my mom, who was drug and alcohol counselor.

“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

The courage to change the things I can,

And the wisdom to know the difference.”

That’s what that last verse is for me. I’m not sure Mal found that peace in the show. But he definitely built a family around him. That too is his Serenity.

You can download the Campfire version of “Serenity Valley Waltz” as an MP3 when join my Gunn Runners on Patreon.

7:43 - “Serenity Valley Waltz” by Marc Gunn from

Thanks for listening to Pub Stories. If you want more behind-the-scene Pub Stories, please join the Gunn Runners Club on Patreon. This is how I make a living and support this show.

The show was produced by Marc Gunn, edited by Mitchell Petersen with graphics by Miranda Nelson Designs. You can subscribe and listen wherever you find podcasts. You will love subscribing to my mailing list. You will get regular updates of new music, podcasts, special offers, and you’ll get a free album. Welcome to the pub at www.pubsong.com!

#pubstories #serenityvalleywaltz #serenityvalley

Check out this episode!

#pub songs #stories #Celtic Music #Irish music #best #best of #behind the music #song stories

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italianexotiicbeauty · 2 years

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verse tags: v | out in the wild ( wwe's wildfire • post retirement. ), v | just a face in the crowd ( wwe's wildfire • post retirement ), v | we could be immortals ( non-kayfabe • post retirement )

----

( the former WWE superstar. )

VITAL STATISTICS.

~~~~~

RING NAME: Wildfire ( ⚠️ important reference. ⚠️)

Legal birth name: Mary Elizabeth Savarese

DATE OF BIRTH: August 15th 1984

PLACE OF BIRTH: Yale New Haven Hospital @ 9:18 am

HOMETOWN: Hamden, Connecticut

RESIDENCE:

WILMINGTON, NC ( main location )

DAVENPORT, IOWA ( canon wise; Wildfire moved away less than two months after being completely retired. Oh and didn't tell *anybody!* )

TAMPA, FLORIDA

ZODIAC SIGN: Leo ( ps: her rising sign is Virgo. )

GENDER: female

HEIGHT & WEIGHT: 5'3" & 125 lbs

HAIR & EYES: black ( w. red highlights ) & brown

face claim: emmanuelle chriqui

SEXUAL ORIENTATION: verse dependent.

ROMANTIC ORIENTATION: demiromantic.

OCCUPATION: Gymnastics coach.

EDUCATION: Hamden High School ( Class of 2003 ), Quinnipiac University ( COMBINED DEGREE - BA/MS in Interactive Media | Class Of 2008 )

Formerly trained at: Wild Samoan Pro Wrestling Training Center ( Florida ) ( six month training period that started somewhere in 2009 )

LANGUAGES: English, Italian, Irish, German, Spanish, Portuguese, Greek, Mandarin.

PIERCINGS: both ears, right tragus, & left eyebrow. ( she removed the last piercing a year ago. )

TATTOOS: there's linked ones & ship related ones on the original bio page

bioshock infinite vigor / murder of crows ( symbol ) - right side of her spine / AUGUST 2013

bioshock infinite vigor / shock jockey ( symbol ) - right side of her spine / directly under murder of crows / AUGUST 2013

hibiscus flower wrapped around a short board ( surf board ) - torso; left side / DECEMBER 2013

sleeping giant castle ( outline only | upper left side of her back ) / MAY 2014

linkin park: winged solider. ( left bicep ) / JANUARY 2015

“megazord sequence has been initiated.” ( text in front of an outline of megazord; with a lighting bolt at the edge of it | torso - right side; april 18th 2017 )

“i admit i made mistakes / but yours might cost you everything / can’t you hear me calling you home?” - linkin park, talking to myself ( lower right side of her back; fine line | june 18th 2017 )

small twin dragons with demon arms ( fine line ) with the text, “heaven earned another melodic angel. chester bennington - 03.20.1976/07.20.2017" ( july 25th 2017 | on her upper back )

queen symbol at the base of her neck ( august 4th 2017 )

CAREER TIMELINE:

( Independent Circuit ) January 2010 - June 2011

[ AU; FCW/NXT Exclusive. ] 01.2010 - 08.2012

( WWF/WWE Main Roster ) July 2011 - April 2020

ATHLETIC BACKGROUND:

did gymnastics from the time she was in 4th grade all the way through college

Yoga student

storyline: – From April 2020, to the present.

The world she lives in is very different now – less chaotic than it used to be, but still chaotic.

It's been ALMOST two years now since she stepped out of the limelight, since she walked out from behind the curtain to the cheers & jeers of the crowd. Did she miss it? Not at all. Wildfire is entirely content with how her life is now; while some things have changed - not all of it has. She still gets up very early four times a week to work out and go for a run, and practices her yoga before bed. Gymnastics and wrestling are the furthest physical activity from her mind; seeing as how she is a coach now to numerous teams within the gym she calls home - she can't be injuring herself. She's sold her yacht and moved homes to another part of town, all by herself after the passing of her loyal canine - Reese.

In 2018, hurricane Florence made landfall and her home sustained quite a bit of damage – once the repairs were finished and it had been inspected; it was sold to a young couple from Indiana.

The former WWE superstar has no complaints though – while she does miss most of her former co-workers, she does not miss the chaos that was life on the road 300 days a year.

#[ verse reference ]#[ verse reference ]#v | out in the wild ( wwe's wildfire • post retirement. )#v | just a face in the crowd ( wwe's wildfire • post retirement )#v | we could be immortals ( non-kayfabe • post retirement )#inner!mind 🤸‍♀️🏋‍♀️ wildfire headcanons.

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t-shirtclassic · 2 years

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Luck Of The Irish To You Pug Dog St. Patrick's Day Shirt

I hadn’t realized that Ugmonk Luck Of The Irish To You Pug Dog St. Patrick's Day Shirt . did not have a dedicated women’s collection until I saw Jeff ‘s Twitter post a few days ago, announcing the line drop. It is true that the t-shirt were already so cool that your girlfriend might have already stolen yours and worn it hundreds of times. But now, you will no longer be forced to share your Ugmonk apparel because on Wednesday, the Women’s line was launched! Needless to say, it did not disappoint.There are 10 different t-shirts with with 2 fits and 3 types of fabrics. The are larger in cut than the previous ones which I understand ran very small. You shouldn’t worry, since there is a size chart to sort everything out. I guess they will be true to size now.The custom-dyed fabrics are soft, in warm pastel shades of pink and mint, as well as burgundy, black and grey.No need for me to rave about the designs, if you are aleady familiar with the minimalist Ugmonk style. If not, I encourage you to get acquainted with the brand, by browsing the products on the site. Luck Of The Irish To You Pug Dog St. Patrick's Day Shirt, hoodie, sweater, longsleeve and ladies t-shirt I truly like each of them and can’t think of anything wrong with this line Luck Of The Irish To You Pug Dog St. Patrick's Day Shirt . Beyond the great job Jeff does with the product itself, we should also acknowledge the pro photoshoot. It gives a clear idea of how the tees look in the real life, courtesy of Patrick Chin.Without further ado, guys share the news with the ladies and regain control over your cool t-shirts!I just love this consistency in creating celebratory t-shirts, on special occasions like Easter, Christmas or movie releases. I am talking about Johnny Cupcakes, who might be among the few t-shirt line owners who I don’t gratuitously include such themes for financial purposes.Holidays are perfect pretexts to boost sales. Somehow, I just don’t associate this brand’s products with seasonal baits. Instead, I’m excited to see his new fat guy version of Wolverine, the whisks the Power Rangers use as weapons or the changing patterns on the iconic crossbones logo.The limited time they are available for purchase could be the decisive factor here. Also, the original style of drawing and unique concept of a t-shirt bakery are major contributors to the long standing independent t-shirt brand. We’re talking about food as the main motif, one of the most popular dessert; a cupcake, to be more precise. That alone should spell success, if you hone in for long enough and stay professional.So, with that in mind, here are two freshly launched, special edition Easter t-shirts. They are available both online and in their brick and mortar store, in Boston on 279 Newbury St. You Can See More Product: https://tshirtclassic.com/product-category/trending/ Read the full article

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spine-buster · 6 years

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Chapter 19 - The Beginning and the End of Everything (Finn Balor)

A/N: I wrote the last scene while eating the last of a tub of ice cream, so you know…sorry if it sucks.

@wrestlewriting @thegenericluchadora @thewriterformerlytaggedas @fan-fiction-galore @anerdysouthernbelle @spot-of-bother @amaranthine-reign @baleesi @flnnbalor @smuppies @sarahmatthews7 @daintymissdevitt @newjapan @corey-renee @running-ropes @balorsomega @karleedaniels27 @kazuchika @ileana0300 @alexahood21 @imnobodiesbitch @fembxt @heelturn-timesten @kaitlynwwefan @50shadesofadamcolebaybay @50shadesofkennyomega @chasingeverybreakingwave @thyestean-feast @thecandicej @devittsbalor @sp00kylesley @danahart @sietefinns @kaydee-kayyyy @powerbombshell @swedish-strong-style @blondekel77 @irish-newzealand-idian-dutch @nickysmum1909 @houndofjustice-imagines @wwesmutdonedirtcheap @wweximaginesxd @indywrestlinglover-life @mandi512 @kakakatey @ourscratcheddreams @sleeplessandcynical

“It’s going to be fun, I promise,” Fergal assured Gemma as he held her hand outside of the Performance Centre, both of them looking up at the giant WWE logo. Like she had been outside of the skating ring a few weeks ago, she was nervous to step foot inside. She knew she had told Fergal she wanted to see him back in the ring, but now, when faced with that reality, she was nervous. Not so much for him, and not so much about everybody she was going to meet – it was for herself. She didn’t want to cause any undue attention to him; she didn’t want to cause any embarrassment. What embarrassment she would cause, she had no idea, but she knew it was a possibility. It always was with her.

She squeezed his hand and looked over at him. “I’m really excited to see you in the ring,” she said, completely sincere about it, too, despite her nerves.

“I’m excited for you to see me,” Fergal said. “Have you ever seen wrestling live before?”

“Never.”

“It’s a treat,” he smiled. “I mean, this isn’t a live show or anything, but what goes on in this place is magic.”

Gemma couldn’t help but smile at his giddiness. “Well, let’s not waste any more time, then.”

“C’mere,” he mumbled, pulling her closer to him and kissing her quickly. Now that everything was ‘official’ he felt much more comfortable kissing her in random places and not just in the privacy of their homes. It felt good to kiss her whenever and wherever he wanted. “If you need a minute to yourself while you’re in there, just let me know, okay? There’s a lounge you can go to, or even one of the medical rooms.”

“I think I’ll be okay,” she assured him. “Just do me a favour and don’t worry about me while you’re in there. Focus on what you need to be doing. I’m a big girl, I can take care of myself.”

He kissed her again quickly. “Let’s go.”

Gemma had never been in the Performance Centre before, but from Fergal talking about it all the time (and, to a much lesser extent, Mandy and the other girls from Chas’s birthday) she felt like she already knew where everything was. When he led her to the ring area, people training surrounded her. Many of them stopped whatever they were doing and waved hello to Fergal, who waved back and joked with them to get back to work.

Soon, a giant, burly man approached them, hugging Fergal tightly and patting him on the back a few times. They exchanged a few quick words before Fergal turned back towards Gemma. “Matt, this is Gemma Fitzgerald,” he introduced them. “Gemma, this is Matt Bloom. He’s one of the head trainers here, and he took me under his wing when I first got to Japan.”

Matt and Gemma exchanged a polite handshake and some pleasantries. “It’s nice to finally meet you, Gemma,” Matt said politely. “I’ve heard a lot about you from Fergal and Rami.”

“Good things, I hope.”

“Only the best things,” he smiled.

“I hope it’s okay that I’m here,” Gemma said. “Fergal talked about his return to the ring and I really wanted to be able to see it…I haven’t seen him wrestle live before, and I’m sure seeing it in person isn’t the same as watching it on YouTube.”

“It’s perfectly fine that you’re here. You’re in for a treat,” he looked towards Fergal. “Why don’t you go put your stuff on, and meet us in ring seven.”

Fergal looked towards Gemma, who was already smiling at him. “You good?” he asked.

“She’ll be safe with me,” Matt winked. “We’re gonna talk about you, though, just so you know.”

Fergal snorted. “Everything he says is a lie. Don’t listen to a word he says.”

“I don’t know,” Gemma shrugged her shoulders playfully. “I don’t think Matt has a lying bone in his body.”

“This girl get it,” Matt pointed at her, chuckling before slapping Fergal lightly on the shoulder. Fergal, shaking his head, turned around and made his way towards the back where he would change. Matt, in contrast, began to lead Gemma throughout the rings, stopping every so often to comment on someone’s work. He seemed like a pretty popular and knowledgeable trainer, and everyone he interacted with listened intently to what he had to say. Gemma never doubted his effectiveness – it was just nice to see, early on, how successful he really was at his role.

“You’re the athlete that had to retire,” Matt mentioned casually as they finally arrived at ring seven.

“Yeah, that’s me.”

“I’m very sorry that happened to you,” he said, and Gemma could feel the sincerity in his voice. “Ferg mentioned you one day and I happened to look you up. You are fantastic. I mean I’m not the biggest fan of hockey but what I was able to see was spectacular.”

Gemma couldn’t help but blush. The thought of this giant man sitting down in front of a computer, typing in her name, and watching her hockey videos made her feel warm inside. “Thanks. That means a lot.”

“What are the plans now?”

“Uhhh…I’m not completely sure yet,” Gemma admitted. “I’m currently writing an article for Sports Illustrated about being a half-Arab female hockey player, but other than that there isn’t much, besides rehab. I think after rehab everything will become a bit clearer.”

“When will that be?”

“August. I’m there for a full year. My new goal is to not have to need extra time.”

“Well, considering the extent of your injury, that would be miraculous,” Matt commented, looking impressed. She was astonished that he knew about it – he must have read about it when he looked her up. That he even remembered surprised her to the fullest. “You look like you’re already there, anyway – or at least have just a little bit left to go.”

She smiled slightly. She was happy her progress was visible to others. “I kind of am, but I want to be able to get back on to the ice. Not competitively, of course, but enough so that I can skate with my future children and not be in pain or anything. Hockey…is still very important to me.”

“Well of course it is,” Matt said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “It’s been a huge part of your life for a long time. I don’t think it will ever not be a big part of your life. It’s like wrestling. A lot of wrestlers, you know, they retire from in-ring work, but they really just assume another role within wrestling.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Oh sweetie,” Matt chuckled. “Practically every trainer at this facility is a former pro-wrestler. Most of our producers and road agents are former wrestlers. The guys who run the wrestling schools, independent of this one, are former wrestlers,” he explained. “There’s nobody who knows the ins and outs of the wrestling business better than a former wrestler. Even me! I’m a 20 year vet, retired, but here I am training the next generation.”

Gemma nodded her head at his words. The situation he was explaining was, of course, similar with hockey. Many former hockey players ended up becoming agents, broadcasters, coaches, or went into the head offices for managerial jobs. The hockey industry protected their own. But that was NHL, aka the big leagues, aka male hockey players. The comfortable futures weren’t necessarily the same for women. That’s what she needed to worry about.

Before she got caught too much in her thoughts, she tried to keep on the subject at hand. “What do you think Ferg’s gonna do when he retires?”

“That’s up to him,” he said diplomatically. “Maybe he’ll retire on the beaches of Bray. Maybe he’ll retire when he’s 75. He’s always done what he wants to do, on his terms. I don’t think that’ll change anytime soon.”

“What’s not gonna change anytime soon?” Fergal’s Irish accent interrupted the two.

They both spun around to see him dressed to go through drills. Matt decided to answer the question. “Whether or not you’ll ever have more than a hundred carbs a day. Now get into the ring.”

Gemma sat on the sidelines in complete awe as she watched Fergal move fluidly throughout the ring. He was right – it was a sort of magic that she didn’t quite understand until she saw it in person. Matt was instructing Fergal on which moves to work through and asking a bunch of questions, but she could tell he was confident in what Fergal was doing.

“He’s definitely been coming here without me,” Gemma said to no one in particular.

“Hmm?” Matt asked, hearing her.

“Ferg…he’s been back in the ring a while, hasn’t he? That’s why he’s already so good?”

Matt chuckled to himself. “No sweetie, he’s just that good.”

Fergal and Gemma had gone to lunch with Matt after he had finished his training session, and Gemma heard a bunch of stories about Fergal’s shenanigans in Japan, from when he arrived at 24 years old to just a few years ago when he decided to leave for the WWE. When Fergal missed a bullet train and nearly missed one of first shows; when Fergal got food poisoning at a sponsor dinner but had to pretend nothing was wrong as to not offend the sponsor; when Fergal got so piss drunk one night Matt had to carry him back to his place bridal style. It was a life well lived. Fergal had done so much throughout his life and had gone through so many different experiences. He had done in ten years what most people failed to do their entire lives. All before her.

Gemma thought about this as they kissed each other. Fergal’s need to have his lips on Gemma’s at all times hadn’t stopped since the first time they kissed, save for the week they didn’t speak. Now, lying on his bed with Gemma on top of him, she couldn’t keep her mind off of the stories Matt had told her at lunch, and how Fergal had experienced so much.

He seemed to know that something was on her mind because instead of increasing his pace and severity of the kisses, he was slowing down. He bit at her lip playfully, causing her to smile. “You alright?”

Gemma nodded her head, sliding across his body so she was lying by his side. “You’re always kissing me, Fergal Devitt.”

He smiled. “You’re my girlfriend now. I can kiss you whenever I want.”

“You think you’ll ever stop?”

“No,” he deadpanned, leaning forward slightly to kiss her while she giggled. When he pulled away, she was biting her lip, just staring at him. “What’s on your mind, love?”

She brought her hand up and dragged her thumb along his bottom lip. “Do you ever think about how there’s ten years between us?” she asked softly.

Fergal wondered where she was coming from with the question. “Not really, to be honest…”

“I don’t mean it like…whatever…” she shook her head quickly. “I just mean, like…at lunch today, all those stories Matt was sharing. You…you lived this entire life before you even met me, and it was so amazing. You did all these amazing things and went to all these amazing places, and everything just sounded so cool. And you were having the time of your life…”

“And…?”

“And now you’re here with me in a bed in Orlando --”

“Having the time of my life,” he interrupted.

Gemma couldn’t help but give him a facetious disapproving look. “I just…sometimes I think it’s funny how life works out, you know? You accomplished so much in those ten years. I accomplished so much in those ten years, too. You won all these titles, you got signed to WWE…I made national teams and I won a gold medal. It’s all so…amazing. I mean, the timeline of it is just insane to me. We didn’t even know each other a year ago and now we kiss each other’s faces off every moment of the day.”

“It’s meant to be,” Fergal said, knowing that’s what Gemma wanted to hear. Not that he didn’t believe it himself – he did completely. There was a reason Gemma came into his life. But he knew she wanted to hear those words. He knew she wanted to hear their meeting and their relationship was some sort of divine intervention; something that would have happened in any world, in every universe, regardless of circumstance.

He could see a smile growing on her face. With a reaction like that, how could he think any different? “You really think so?”

“I know so. This is something special, don’t you think?”

He could see her cheeks flush red. She only nodded her head, too happy to hear those words coming from his mouth. She leaned forward to kiss him again, not wanting to speak anymore. She had talked enough. There were more important things to do now.

She could tell Finn was eager by the way he kissed her, and by the way his hands slipped under her top in record time. Her hands moved just as quickly, running themselves through his hair and gripping at the nape of his neck. The higher his hands traveled, the higher her shirt lifted; soon, it was above her head, Fergal throwing it across the room.

Gemma had exposed her body to Fergal before – at Cocoa Beach, and in Iceland, naturally – but this was so much more intimate, more sensual. His touch gave her goosebumps and made her hairs stand on end. His hands were wandering everywhere, feeling every inch of her, and when they came around to her front, her breath hitched in her throat.

She had changed. She knew she had changed, and she knew he knew she had changed. Her body wasn’t the same as it was a year ago, six months ago, three months ago. It had changed from what she was used to, from what her body was when she was an athlete. At the end of the day, though, she was still getting used to the change. But it was still her body. At the end of the day, she still owned her body. Nobody could take it – or its capabilities – away from her. At the end of the day, she was still in a bed with Fergal feeling her up.

“Don’t be nervous,” he breathed out quickly, biting down on her bottom lip. “You’re fucking beautiful Gemma. Don’t think you’re not.”

A lot more touching, a lot more kissing. Some unhooking, more pulling, one more article of clothing thrown across the room. Quick kisses, long kisses; wet kisses, little bites; fingertips grazing, nails scratching. Gemma didn’t think she’d ever been so turned on in her life.

Fergal had switched their positions, pinning Gemma under him as he kissed down her body, just as he had done on the couch weeks ago. She felt ready to explode but he kept licking and kissing a path lower.

She grabbed at his hair to get his attention. “No,” she said, shaking her head slightly.

“What?” he asked, stunned she wouldn’t want him to go down on her.

“I need…I just need you inside me right now,” she panted. She didn’t exactly want to go into the reasons why she didn’t want him to do that yet. “I need to feel you.”

He smiled mischievously at her. “Next time?”

“Next time. I need to feel you, Ferg.”

Well, her wish was his command. He came back up and kissed the tip of her nose. “Lay on your side for me,” he said, doing so himself. She did as she was told. “Now give me your leg.”

She hesitated at first. Her knee brace, albeit a small one, was still on, and she wanted to move as slow as possible just in case she got a jolt of pain again. They looked each other directly in the eyes as she hooked her leg over his, feeling his hardened member against her thigh.

He entered her slowly, considerately, allowing her to adjust to his size, knowing this hadn’t happened for her in a while. To be fair, it hadn’t happened for him in a while either, and he was in a state of euphoria knowing that it was Gemma in his arms, Gemma that was looking him in the eye, Gemma whose body was moving so in sync with his. He had wanted this for so long, had dreamt of this for so long. He couldn’t take his eyes off her. Despite their movements, and their panting, and the pleasure they were both feeling being tangled in each other’s bodies, they didn’t take their eyes off one another. It was unlike any other intimate moment they had experienced before.

His hand, which had been caressing her leg, slipped in between them to tease her. At his touch he knew she wouldn’t last much longer. As her pants became louder, her moans irregular, and her eyes closed slowly, he increased his speed, allowing her to go over the edge and scream out in ecstasy before he did the same.

As she came down from her high, Gemma had a satisfied smile on her face. When she finally looked Fergal in the eye again she leaned forward and kissed him. Still inside her, and coming down from his own high, he tightened his grip on her; he wanted their bodies closer, though they were already flush against each other.

When they pulled away from the kiss, Gemma licked her lips. “I’ve waited so long for someone like you,” her voice was barely above a whisper. “I’ve waited so long for you.”

“I’ve waited so long for you too,” he said, meaning it completely.

“I’m sorry I took so long.”

Fergal cradled her face in his hand. “We are both here now. That’s all that matters.”

#finn balor #finn balor fic #finn balor fan fic #finn balor fan fiction #finn balor fanfic #finn balor fanfiction #wwe #wwe fic #wwe fan fic #wwe fan fiction #wwe fanfiction #baeoe series

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therapybg · 4 years

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What is a Golem?

In the Lord of the rings what does Gollum do? What does he want? Who does he want if for?

There is a moment to ask questions. I'm going to start this one with an aside about Ireland. Ireland has a traveling people, we call them travelers (they call themselves travelers). Some are settled, some move, some are seasonal, despite that they are a distinct group. They are indistinguishable in nearly every aspect from the "settled." As a foreigner you could not tell the difference. An ancient battle between rovers and drovers, herders and hunters, pastoralism and predation has led to different ways of perceiving the world. I'm a farmer by upbringing, but I know the ways and means of the hunter too. I figuratively have a foot in both camps. There is a game played by both "sides." The traveler is often shunted on from his or her "halting" site by the local settled police. I've seen at first hand the quality of official traveler halting sites. A traveler often receives prejudice and unfair treatment. But the traveling person is well able to dish it out too, despite the "victim status." A travelling person will often ask me many questions in sequences (the more you know) but will divulge little information of any value to me. He or she will claim victimhood as a right, not as a tautology, but as a well defined negotiating position in a sequence. If it is an older traveler woman she may offer to tell my fortune, if I "cross her palm with silver." Do you have any scrap? Do you have any copper? Can you spare a few quid, sir? Do you want those gates? You're very good, sir! Remember the tongue is a powerful weapon both in the personal and the public sphere. I have no animosity to travelers, but I'm not often trustful of the objectives. A traveler man will ask me for favors, but not often deliver favors to me. A traveler may take me for a"mark" until I show I'm aware of the game. The traveler is educated enough to know that he preys on the customs of the settled, as a wolf would on sheep, although he cannot admit it (or the illusion disappears). Of course there are settled who do the same. It's not a linear quality in any way, or a mark of a particular group, it is a set of tactics that become burnished in use. The traveler would argue that by enclosing the land, the settler has removed his hunting grounds and the enmity is of two tribes inhabiting one land. This historical argument holds water too. There are strong rules within traveler society; marriage is sacrosanct, male honor is a currency. A man's word is his bond *among the group. You may lie as much as you want to a settled. There are valid reasons for all of these things in a world without access to court, or the ability to pursue a lien. It's not a morality tale, it is about pursuit of goals and objectives. I There are mountains of book on "in group reciprocation, altruism and genetic inheritance. The Israelis have a lot of the same stuff going on. Although they are planted settlers, many are not native to the region, they survive with the support of the US and the UK against the combined might of their Arab, Persian and Egyptian neighbors, among others. The source of their power is having the ear of the powerful in the US and UK, the Rothschild banking syndicate, a more technically advanced country than many of their neighbors, and their diaspora in those countries. Having the the US and the UK targeted against "muslim" peoples is a fine tactic. Muslim is a very broad term indeed, you may as well use the term "Christian" and start fighting all of Europe, Latin America and Russia at the same time? Control of media is a prerequisite for this tactic, if you lose the media, you lose the advantage. We discussed this before. If an Irish traveller was viewing the scenario: he would see that settled will fight settled, lose their best men, which might be replaced by mine (the meek shall inherit..?). Gain by deception and deceit, not thru force of arms. The stupid deserve their fate is the logical position. It is an ancient gambit used by schoolchildren everywhere: get the big guy to do your bullying for you. I note that girls often use this gambit, playing on a guy's honor. Interesting, the girl doesn't need "honor" to be believed, she claims victimhood and others "rally" to the cause. Claim "racism" Claim "intolerance" Claim "victim status" then bash the "other" with "right" on your side. Self Offence. Claim "racism" Claim "intolerance" Claim "victim status" then bash the "other" with "right" on your side. Self Offence. All the time, 24/7, then use your "magic" megaphone position: subvert, subvert, subvert the conversation, the ideas, the focus of debate. Move tolerance over until it is acceptance, move acceptance over until it is observance, move observance over until it is dogma. Rinse, repeat, rinse, repeat till you get totalitarianism. Kill the Kulaks. Done. Next ...starve. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Soviet_famine_of_1932%E2%80%9333 It is a tactic, not an aberration. Deceive, lie, misdirect, use a pretty assistant, use smoke, use mirrors, use devices, uses suggestion, use the stage you construct. Create a dark room. Become the light. I am not saying that a garrison in the Middle East is not favorable for World powers, but I do wonder when the tail started wagging the dog, officially? I have an idea about that too :) Where is the weakness in this plan? Simple answer: Love is the answer. If the Americans wake up and value their own youth? If the Americans laugh at the idea of being the world's policeman? If the Americans support Americans first? If Americans print their own money? If they find out that 9-11 was not a "muslim" operation? If the Americans make peace with Libyans, Syrians, Egyptians, Iraqis, Iranians, Yemenis, Saudis and Afghanis? Would you like to play a game? https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0086567/ When I did my original piece about Kennedy, I noted that some ears perked up. Why would that be I asked myself? I knew a partial answer, I didn't think they'd be quite so twitchy just yet :)...we're not there yet, yet. “As I wrote Mr. Ben-Gurion, this government’s commitment to and support of Israel could be seriously jeopardized if it should be thought that we were unable to obtain reliable information on a subject as vital to peace as Israel’s effort in the nuclear field,” the telegram said."https://www.jpost.com/Diaspora/President-Kennedy-gave-Israel-a-strong-warning-about-its-nuclear-reactor-in-1963-589107 I noted that Israeli embassies closed shop all over the world at very short notice recently. I also noticed a projected date for a huge false flag event on the weekend of November 3rd in Seattle. The projected result of this event: an ICBM attack on the city during a football game was to create a war *with whoever would be deemed the perpetrator of this killing of over 1m people, *like 9-11 was. It didn't happen (that doesn't mean it wasn't planned to happen on that date). Understand that these people are working to a script. We've discussed the Epstein - Mossad - C_A connection. We've seen how large corporate entities like hellywood and the news media are virulently anti-Trump and are doing everything possible to kill that story. Whoever is pushing these things is working in the shadows, but it is coming into the light all over the world. The whole picture has a vague tint of yellow to it: Orange man Bad. Arab man bad. White man bad. Everyone bad, except..."minorities." Why are they so focused on sexually deviant lifestyles: gays, transexuals, pronouning, pedos? Ask yourself the question. Then ask why is the "heartland," "mom, pop and apple pie, "middle America, nuclear family, so pro Trump? There is an answer. Why do they call Trump a racist *specifically? Is it to get ahead of a story? Let's return to Kennedy for a moment... I was watching a show on YouTube a while back, from a guy who later went missing, Bill Smith. It was about the Yad Kennedy memorial in Israel. "The 60-foot high (18 m) memorial is shaped like the stump of a felled tree, symbolizing a life cut short.Inside is a bronze relief of Kennedy, with an eternal flame burning in the center."https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yad_Kennedy Smith makes the case that Jack Ruby was Jack Rubinstein who may have been connected to Meyer Lansky. Wikipedia makes the opposite assertion: The Commission indicated that there was not a "significant link between Ruby and organized crime" and said he acted independently in killing Oswald. Of course he did, they all do. In September 1964, the Warren Commission concluded that Ruby acted alone in killing Oswald. Various groups believed Ruby was involved with major figures in organized crime and that he killed Oswald as part of an overall plot surrounding the assassination of Kennedy." https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jack_Ruby We know George Bush Sr. was in Dallas. He rose to head the C_A. We know what became of the C_A. We're pretty sure junior had a connection to 9-11 and he had some friends over for the event. We are finding out a lot of stuff which has been buried, it's piling up, in fact.

When all this is done, we might have to look who is printing the money? And who is doing the dying? A reckoning, you might call it. I'm not saying it is Israel (Israel didn't pay for the monument, others did). There is a script. It is not "Arabs, nor white men, nor Muslims, nor Israelis. I'm saying there is a hidden hand.

What if the end they so desperately seek, becomes their end? Gollum : Myyyy... Precious! Smeagol : The precious will be ours... once the Hobbitses are dead! As my Irish traveler friends would put it: "Sher you're a beast of a man, fair dues. Now, let's be seein ya, fien." https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Golem https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gollum https://vocal.media/geeks/gollum-a-warning-to-us-all https://www.jpost.com/Diaspora/President-Kennedy-gave-Israel-a-strong-warning-about-its-nuclear-reactor-in-1963-589107 Read the full article

#Design #group #honor #myth #neighbor #rules #settle #stories #Travel

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cathygeha · 5 years

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REVIEW

How to Love A Duke in Ten Days by Kerrigan Byrnne

Devil You Know #1

Excellent book ~ Once I picked it up I could not put it down! Kerrigan Byrnne is an author I eagerly await books from. Every time I have read one of her stories I am moved. The characters are strong, complex and people I can relate to. The romances are rich. The descriptions make me feel I am there. I get swept into the story and hate leaving the characters behind even though I am eager to pick up the next book in the series as soon as it is available. Three young girls at boarding school form a club. They are young and silly and adventurous and very very intelligent. They would do anything for one another. The headmaster of the school is someone the students are leery of as they know he enjoys handing out punishments and relishes the pain he delivers. In the prologue we find out just how evil he is and how he impacts the heroine of this story. We pick up the tale ten years later and Alexandra, Francesca and Cecelia are still best friends and single as they are nearing thirty. When Francesca requests Alexandra’s assistance she heads immediately to help her friend and finds that Francesca is betrothed to a man she doesn’t want to marry. An alternative might be available if all parties are willing. Piers Gedrick Atherton, Duke of Redmayne is a man among men. He is everything one looks for in the hero of a story. He is strong, intelligent, capable, protective, generous and scarred. When he meets Alexandra there is instant chemistry but with the backstories they both have their journey to a HEA will not be easy. What I liked: * The three female friends – what a wonder it would be to have such strong friends forever * Alexandra – he willingness to do what she needs to to help her friends and family. She is also a person I would love to have had as a friend. * Piers – oh my! I can’t think of anything I did NOT like about him! * The flow of the writing that swept me in * The introduction to people that may show up in later books in the series * Everything...I mean...I am rating it five stars and really really enjoyed it! What I did not like: * The people I was meant not to like...and there were more than one or two. * The pain that Alexandra and Piers suffered This is a story that is to be savored. The romance is exquisite and the relationship between Alexandra and Piers so very well crafted. The evil people were truly evil and to be despised and I did so with relish. I can’t wait to find out happens in book two of this series...I believe it will be Cecilia’s story and do look forward to reading it. Thank you to NetGalley and St. Martin’s Paperbacks for the ARC – This is my honest review. 5 Stars

Buy-book link:

https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781250243270

Synopsis:

These men are dark, bold, and brave. And there is only one woman who can bring them to their knees...

Famed and brilliant, Lady Alexandra Lane has always known how to look out for to herself. But nobody would ever expect that she has darkness in her past—one that she pays a blackmailer to keep buried. Now, with her family nearing bankruptcy, Alexandra strikes upon a solution: Get married to one of the empire’s most wealthy eligible bachelors. Even if he does have the reputation of a devil.

LOVE TAKES NO PRISONERS

Piers Gedrick Atherton, the Duke of Redmayne, is seeking revenge and the first step is securing a bride. Winning a lady’s hand is not so easy, however, for a man known as the Terror of Torcliff. Then, Alexandra enters his life like a bolt of lightning. When she proposes marriage, Piers knows that, like him, trouble haunts her footsteps. But her gentleness, sharp wit, independent nature, and incredible beauty awakens every fierce desire within him. He will do whatever it takes to keep her safe in his arms.

EXCERPT

Chapter One

Maynemouth, Devonshire, 1890 Ten years later

Alexander,

Accept the invitation to Castle Redmayne. I’m in danger. I need you.

—Frank

Alexandra Lane had spent the entire train ride from Lon- don to Devonshire meticulously pondering those fourteen words for two separate reasons.

The first, she had been unable to stop fretting for Fran- cesca, who tended to give more than the appropriate amount of context. The terse, vague note Alexandra now held was more of a warning than the message contained therein.

The second, she could no longer afford a first-class, pri- vate railcar, and had, for the last several tense hours, been forced to share her vestibule face-to-face with a rough- featured, stocky man with shoulders made for labor.

Alone.

He’d attempted polite conversation at first, which she’d rebuffed with equal civility by feigning interest in her cor- respondence. By now, however, they were both painfully aware she needn’t take four stops to read two letters.

It was terribly rude, she knew. Her carpetbag remained clutched in her fist the entire time, except when her hand would wander into its depths to palm the tiny pistol she always carried. The sounds of the other passengers in ad- joining vestibules didn’t make her feel safer, per se.

But she knew they would hear her scream, and that pro- vided some relief.

For a woman who’d spent a great deal of the last ten years in the company of men, she’d thought these painful moments would have relented by now.

Alas, she’d become a mistress of manipulating a situa- tion so, even if she had to endure the company of men without a female companion, there would be more than one man. In the circles she tended to frequent, people be- haved when in company.

It had worked thus far.

Alexandra braced herself against the slowing of the train, breathing a silent prayer of relief that they’d finally arrived. She’d been terrified that if she’d glanced up once, she’d be forced into conversation with her unwanted com- panion.

Rain wept against the coach window, and the shadows of the tears painted macabre little serpents on the conflict- ing documents in her hands. One, a wedding invitation. The other, Francesca’s alarming note.

A month past, she’d have wagered her entire inheritance against Francesca Cavendish’s being the first of the Red Rogues to capitulate to the bonds of matrimony.

A month past, she’d assumed she’d had an inheritance to wager.

Their little society had seemed destined to live up to the promise they’d once made as young, disenchanted girls to never marry.

Until the invitation to an engagement masquerade— given by the Duke of Redmayne—had arrived the same day of her friend’s cryptic and startling note.

The invitation had been equally as ambiguous, stating that the future duchess of Redmayne would be unveiled, as it were, at the ball. Included in Alexandra’s particular envelope was a request for her to attend as a bridesmaid.

The subsequent plea for help from Francesca—Frank— had arrived in a tiny envelope with the Red Rogue seal they’d commissioned some years prior.

Alexandra hadn’t even known Francesca had returned from her romps about the Continent. Last she’d heard, the countess had been in Morocco, doing reconnaissance of some sort. Nothing in her letters had mentioned a suitor. Not a serious one, in any case. Certainly not a duke.

Francesca had a talent for mischief and a tendency to interpret danger as mere adventure.

So, what could possibly frighten her fearless friend?

Marriage, obviously, Alexandra thought with a smirk.

A risky venture, to be sure.

Author Bio:

Whether she’s writing about Celtic Druids, Victorian bad boys, or brash Irish FBI Agents, USA Today bestseller Kerrigan Byrne uses her borderline-obsessive passion for history, her extensive Celtic ancestry, and her love of Shakespeare in every book. She lives at the base of the Rocky Mountains with her handsome husband and three lovely teenage girls, but dreams of settling on the Pacific Coast. Her Victorian Rebels novels include The Highwayman and The Highlander.

How to Love a Duke in Ten Days Blog Tour Q&A

Q: What inspired you to write How to Love a Duke in Ten Days?

A: I’ve always been one of those women who have enjoyed fierce female friendships. I think that soulmates, even for heterosexual women, can be just as necessary with other women as with men, and a real hero must not just love and respect you, but also your tribe. I wanted to write a series where historical heroines could truly have it all, education, dreams, businesses, wealth, genius, revenge, hot sex, AND true love. Where the sacrifices were made on their behalf instead by them, and where their heroes learn to lift them up in all ways, heal their pains, calm their fears, become their best friends, and protect them with what I hope is a great balance between alpha hotness and progressive sensitivity.

Q: Is there one thing you would like readers to take away from this story?

A: That’s tough because I packed a lot in there! I would say the one thing from this book, specifically, is that happiness is attainable against the odds, even when overcoming the worst that people can do to one another. Even though I’m a grown up and a cynic, I still like to write books that remind me that true love conquers all, because that love can come from so many people.

Q: Can you describe your typical day writing this book?

A: This book was especially difficult for me to write, so I spent a great deal of time in my bathrobe. I would get up, my fantastic husband would make me coffee, I’d call my critique partner and we’d do a bit of brainstorming, and I’d write and rewrite for hours, stress, cry, throw things, walk the dog, eat, snack, eat some more, facebook way too much, and then finish under word count, binge a tv show or a book until I stared at the ceiling into the wee hours. Oh, and there was drinking in there at regular intervals.

Glamorous, I know!

Q: Describe the hero and heroine of How to Love a Duke in Ten Days in three words each.

A: The Duke of Redmayne: Wary. Wounded. Wicked.

Lady Alexandra Lane: Brave. Brilliant. Beautiful.

Q: What is the one thing that the heroine, Alexandra, can’t live without?

A: She cannot live without her two dearest friends in the entire world, Miss Cecelia Teague, and Lady Francesca Cavendish. They literally buried a body for her, and would defend her to the death.

Q: What was your hardest scene to write in How to Love a Duke in Ten Days? Your favorite?

A: As with many (most) of my novels, the prologues are the hardest to write, and read, I suspect. Usually I take the characters to the very edge of their breaking point, often times pushing them over so they have what seems like insurmountable conflicts to overcome both internally and externally. So, for this book, Alexandra’s assault was the most difficult thing to get through, and boy did I enjoy being able to help Piers put her back together, because he was just the perfect hero for her. Tender, empathetic, a good sense of humor, and a large dose of protective alphaness.

Q: Why do you write historical romance?

A: I’ve always romanticized the past. I can’t help it. I love the pace and the aesthetic, the gowns and the suits and the manners and the manors. I love to do historical research and it’s so fun to see how much we are influenced by the past and how, even though so much has changed through the centuries, people really haven’t. Also, it’s fun to play with language, mystery, and sex in a time when a scandal was still possible. *wink.

Q: Is there another particular author that inspires you or that you enjoy reading?

A: There is a LIST! I would say in historical romance, though, it’s always always Lisa Kleypas. She has a grasp on the characterization of historical folks that I can never hope to attain. I’m just in awe of her every word.

Q: Where do you go or what resources do you use to make sure your novels are historically correct?

A: I love to find books about a time period at B&N or my local bookshops. I go to Harper’s Bazaar for fashion, and a slew of Victorian references for the time period. I do read blogs and sometimes consult with historians and experts.

Q: Did you learn anything surprising while researching for this novel?

A: Many things! I learned how truly difficult it was to attain an education as a woman as little as a hundred years ago. It’s really incredible how far we’ve come in a century.

Q: What do you do when faced with writer’s block, if you ever are?

A: Oh man. I often am. I usually try to shake it loose with a brainstorming conversation with a few friends I have who always seem to be able to unstick me. I rely heavily on the creativity of others as well as my own.

Q: How did you feel the first time you realized one of your books was a big success?

A: I didn’t believe it. It seems surreal every time I truly realize that a story I wrote entertained another human. Let alone more than one. I’m like… they paid to read it? WHAT?

Q: What’s next for the Devil You Know series?

A: I’m especially excited for the next book ALL SCOT AND BOTHERED because it’s about Alexandra’s best friend the curvy vicar’s daughter, Cecelia Teague. She inherits London’s most infamous and successful brothel, and one imposing, surly Scottish enemy along with it. She and Lord Ramsay, the Lord Chief Justice with an axe to grind against her establishment, can’t be in a room together without the sparks flying. I can’t think about this book without smiling.

Q: Is there anything else you’d like to add?

A: I hope you enjoy this trio of roguish redheads as much as I enjoyed writing them!

#Kerrigan Byrne #Macmillan publishing #St. Martin's Paperbacks #NetGalley #Devil You Know 1 #Historical Romance

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brido · 7 years

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Mike and Vicky Go to Ecuador (Day 3)

When the Spanish missionaries were setting up Old Town Quito on the ruins of Incan temples, they didn’t really take into account that cars would exist in 400 years and an impatient tourist might come to visit from the U.S. and hate being stuck on the narrow streets in traffic, surrounded by city busses spewing an ungodly amount of exhaust in a city whose altitude already leaves you gasping for air. That’s a good place to start Day 3, when my wife and I hopped in a car with my sister and brother-in-law to see the sights of the first city UNESCO’s deemed to be a World Heritage Site.

Our first stop was up El Panecillo to see the massive aluminum Virgin of Quito statue that overlooks the city from a volcanic hill at 10,000 feet above sea level. It was built in 1976 and is actually based on a foot-high wooden sculpture by Bernardo de Legarda in 1734 that the city fucking loves for some reason. I don’t get it and I’m actually trying to. The original looks like something my Irish Catholic grandmother might have kept in her bedroom. But it’s apparently venerated throughout the Andes in the same way Mexicans see the Virgin of Guadalupe, but sans the whole miraculous origin story.

Well, I take that back. The Virgin of Guadalupe appeared at a chapel built on the ruins of a shrine to an Aztec goddess and the Virgin of Quito is high on a hill that the Incas used in their worship of the sun and is based on an original which is permanently displayed in a Franciscan church that was built over the ruins of an Incan temple. Or the home of Atahualpa. Either way, in both cases the Spanish Catholics went smashy smashy build build for Mary. Which basically means that El Panecillo is part Virgin of Guadalupe, part Christ the Redeemer, part Pieta, part Statue of Liberty and all Quito, bay-bee.

Our next stop was down the windy cobblestone hill of El Panecillo to the Basilica of the National Vow. Because no foreign trip with my wife is complete without taking her formerly-Protestant behind to some ornate monument to Catholicism. And there’d be even more of that in a minute. But the basilica is an impressive 19th Century neo-Gothic knockoff of Notre-Dame, complete with gargoyles of animals that are local to Ecuador, like armadillos, iguanas and Galapagos tortoises. Which is actually kind of fun.

The best part was that an elevator can take you to the top of the basillica, where you can walk nervously across rickety wooden scaffolding and then scale a horrifyingly steep 25-30-foot metal ladder to check out (literally) breathtaking views from the roof. I was scared out of my mind, even at the wooden scaffolding part. But when my sister and wife (who are just girls) happily sauntered across the wooden walkway, I had to talk myself into following after them. My sister bowed out at the metal ladder. But then my wife and brother-in-law basically said, “I’ll go if you go” to the death ladder. And so up we all went. Ohmygod.

The entire time I was at the top (well, there was one last set of steps to go up even higher, but fuck that shit) I was increasingly nervous about how I was supposed to get down from there. Like, do I trust myself to be able to go down backwards down the ladder? Or do I go down the ladder like they’re stairs, where I’d be one slipped heel away from an early demise. I’m getting that fight-or-flight sensation in my stomach just thinking about it now. And at the time, I actually found myself getting angry with how cavalier all the young tourists were on the ladder and the roof like we weren’t all going to die. I distinctly remember looking down and seeing actual cigarette butts on the roof up there, presumably from some health-nut European backpacker who didn’t understand how anything works.

As soon as I’d get the courage to go back down, I’d have to wait for more enthusiastic youngsters to rush up the ladder and then a wave of doubt would rush over me again. Basically, what I’m telling you is that I kind of regret going to the top of that fucking basilica.

In the end, as I was standing at the ladder waiting for that right mental moment to proceed, the sweaty tourist I hated the most asked me if it was okay if he could go down ahead of me. I obliged. The sweaty tourist I hated the most was actually the first person I saw go down like facing forwards, treating the ladder like they were stairs. So after one or two failed attempts at positioning my own body in a way I could climb down backwards, my wife said, “That one guy just went down facing forwards and I think it looked a lot easier.” That was all I needed to hear. I went facing forward. I made it down. I hated the sweaty guy a little less. And I still don’t like thinking about the way down. I just like the part when I didn’t die. In my brief moment of bravery, I didn’t even give a shit about the rickety scaffolding on the way back. Or the teenager who hit on my wife. The relief I felt from scaling down that ladder was a semi-religious experience in itself. Like I’d found my own personal Jesus at the top of ‘Chrysler 300 Notre-Dame’.

Leaving the basilica also ended up being a bit of a nightmare. At 11 am sharp every Monday, there’s a changing of the guard in Independence Plaza, right in front of Carondelet Palace, where the President, Vice President and the Ministry of the Interior of Ecuador all live. Sometimes the president even comes out and greats the public from a balcony that’s like, feet from the square. All right there in the best preserved colonial city center in the Americas. It’s nuts.

That’d be like if Independence Mall in Philadelphia still had the President’s House and Donald Trump, Mike Pence, Jeff Sessions and whoever the Secretary of Homeland Security is all lived in that same old house. It sounds like a reality show producer’s wet dream. Or the most expensive security detail in the history of of the universe.

Since we were on a bit of a tight schedule, we had to hop out of our car on one of Old Town’s narrow streets that were never meant to have cars in the first place and rush past the traffic and through the plaza (where there also happened to be a fucking protest) to la Compania de Jesus.

It was a kind of dizzying experience. Would it have been nice to take in the super historic plaza? Sure. But part of that history is secular president/dictator Eloy Alfaro (the guy who renamed the plaza and commissioned a statue to independence) being dragged through that same plaza in 1912 by a pro-Catholic mob before his body was set on fire. Also, the Bishop of Quito was poisoned with strychnine during Good Friday mass at the nearby Cathedral in 1877. And the pro-Catholic president/dictator, Gabriel Garcia Moreno, was also murdered on the palace steps by Freemasons with revolvers and a machete in 1875. I can keep going... Okay, I will.

In 1949, a radio station in Quito did the same War of the Worlds broadcast stunt that Orson Welles pulled in the U.S. 11 years earlier. It set off a wave of panic in the city with police and fire fighters rushing out to fight the aliens, which actually got much worse when the broadcast was revealed as a hoax. Several people died in the ensuing riots and fires, including the show producer’s girlfriend and nephew. The producer had to flee to Venezuela. I mean, I still felt brave from conquering my fear of heights in the basilica, but I wasn’t taking my fucking chances with any Ecuadorian riots.

The Church of the Society of Jesus is a super ornate, and gold-leaved Jesuit church they started building in 1605 and didn’t finish until 1765. And it’s deducted major points for not allowing me to take photos inside. I had a hard time following our English-speaking tour guide. But I know she kept mentioning Ignatius of Loyola and Saint Mariana of Jesus de Paredes, the patron saint of Ecuador. All while we were completely surrounded by baroque all-gold-everything and I fumed over not being able to take pictures of anything but a stupid old bell and the outside door that makes La Compania look like a Chinese restaurant.

My wife said the tour guide did mention the Jesuits getting the boot from King Charles in 1767, but I was probably too grumpy to notice. There was also some lady that just waltzed into our tour group without paying and kept standing uncomfortably close to me. But I guess it’s okay because I was able to look it up later. Essentially what happened is that the Jesuits, who were loyal to the pope, got a little too wealthy and independent for the liking of European empires at the time. Oh, and unlike those European empires, they weren’t cool with enslaving the native populations of the Americas. That was a big factor in the decision to import slaves from Africa, who worked on their land and helped fund their universities and led them to attain the wealth and power feared by people like King Charles III.

So Charles took a page from Philip IV of France, who got rid of the Knights Templar in 1307. The Jesuits got the boot from Spanish territories, despite the threat of eternal damnation from the pope, a lot of the Jesuits died on their way into exile and the Spanish confiscated their land to be auctioned off to people whose descendants might one day give me a tour of their rose factory. King Charles III is also known for trying to convince the people of Madrid to stop throwing their shit buckets out their windows. So there’s that too.

The Jesuits were eventually restored after the Napoleonic wars. They’re doing just fine now and Pope Francis even became the first Jesuit pope in 2013. Scorsese made a movie about some Jesuits in 2016. So everything is fine. I mean, it’s really declining in numbers. And Georgetown University had to apologize for slavery a few months ago. But it’s fine. They even have a big gold church in Quito where nobody is allowed to take photos.

The tour guide told us something I couldn’t understand about a picture of Mary in the church blinking one time or something. There was another miracle she talked about that was depicted on a gold wall about someone turning food into a bouquet of flowers or something. I might have heard it wrong, but I whispered, “That’s a stupid miracle” to my wife, but she shot me a look to be more respectful. And then there was even more stuff about Saint Mariana of Jesus de Paredes, who self-flagellated with the help of an indigenous servant and starved herself to become so pure that when she died, a white lily sprang up from her blood and bloomed on the spot. Again, I couldn’t really follow what the woman was saying.

Oh, and there was a horrifying copy of Hernando de la Cruz’s El Infierno painting (what happened to the original?), depicting various sinners being tortured in hell for whatever bad thing they did during their life. My sister asked what one of the words meant on the painting and the tour guide said, “This is loan shark.” She asked what another word meant and the guide just said, “Homosexuality.” We moved on. I’m actually frustrated right now that I can’t find more about this stuff Online. Especially since I know that if this shit was in Europe some historian would take it seriously enough to write about it. No word on whether one of the sins in the painting was photography. Yeah, I’m still mad.

As we headed off to lunch, my sister tried to convince us to go into the Church and Monastery of St. Francis, the same church the Spanish immediately started building after the city was founded in 1534. It’s where the mediocre wooden Virgin of Quito statue is proudly displayed. And right on top of those Incan ruins. There’s also a legend about the church’s architect, Cantuna, making a deal with the devil to finish the atrium, but then removing a brick to get out of his deal. That all sounded great to me, but my wife and I really had to pee. So we headed across the plaza to Casa Gangotera where I found a bathroom.

Casa Gangotera was another memorable, if not stuffy, dining experience. It’s a hotel and the former home of some Spanish gazillionaire in old timey Quito. Victoria and I were talked into the tasting menu, which was way too much food yet again. But I hate to admit that some of the courses were better than the versions we got at Chilcabamba the day before. I even tried llama meat. Remember yesterday when my guide said llama meat was better than beef? Well, it’s not. And I still hadn’t yet decided whether or not I was brave enough to eat cuy.

Our final excursions of the early afternoon were to go shopping at La Mariscal craft market and then to Olga Fisch Folklore (Olga Fisch is credited with recognizing the quality of the local, traditional handicrafts and making them popular again) to see local, traditional handicrafts we couldn’t afford.

One of my favorite things to do when visiting a foreign place I’ve never been to before, besides looking at a Frommer’s guide or searching for information Online, is to see what the locals find important about their own country by looking in the gift shops. Besides the coffee and chocolate and Panama hats and blankets and leather goods and animal masks and humming bird statues that every Ecuadorian store seemed to sell, La Mariscal also introduced me to Oswaldo Guayasamin (who I’ll get to on another day) and the Cucuruchos, whose figurines looked as much like Orko from He-Man as they did the purple Klan. I should probably explain.

Spain has the tradition of the Capirote, which originated in the Inquisition as a symbol of humiliation (like a dunce cap), and that tradition was carried over into a form of public penance during Easter ceremonies. The same is true with the Cucuruchos, who parade barefoot through Old Town Quito on Good Friday, carrying crosses and flagellating themselves during the procession. The best view of the whole thing is supposedly even at Casa Gangotera. Anyway, the anti-Catholic KKK might have borrowed the costume design for their own super terribleness. I’m guessing American tourists like to buy the figurines of the Purple Klan to shock their friends at home while simultaneously being able to go, “What? It’s not the Klan!” And then pronouncing it ‘la cucaracha’ because everything south of America is Mexico.

I don’t know. I half-heartedly insisted I wanted to see a real Cucurucho for the rest of the trip. That, and I kept quoting my 2007 Frommer’s guide by saying I wanted to eat at Zazu, “the best and hippest spot in Quito.” Just because I liked saying ‘Zazu’ and also noticed that nobody in Quito thinks that statement about its best-ness or hip-ness is true.

My sister did tell me that there was a place called Cafe Plaza Grande (right next to Carondelet Palace) that has a Cucurucho serve people ice cream and pose with them for horrifying photos. On the Philadelphia president house reality show, Jeff Sessions and Donald Trump would fucking love that place! Ice cream and the Klan? Jesus. But everyone in my family was adamant that any photo with a Cucurucho could be taken out of context on social media and the whole thing would be a bad idea. It’s for the best. We did buy a bunch of other stuff at the market though. And this concluded Day 3.

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brandonfullers · 5 years

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Let’s sum up!

It seems that August is about to end as volatile as it started. The market seems to ignore the variety of economic data this week on the heightening of negative risk sentiment. The latest escalation in US-Sino trade tension, the Brexit clock counting down, the Italian government’s crisis, and tensions in Hong Kong and between Japan-Korea are heating up once again and it seems that markets behaviour turned on these events and on September’s developments.

It is not that economic data are not important, however we need to look afar and focus on the big picture.

The global slowdown has been additionally confirmed by US and UK curve inversions, the Japanese consumption tax hike is on October, Central Banks are primed for more stimulus in September driven mainly by trade war, while the implementation of 10% tariffs on a further $75 bln of US goods from China is on Sunday (September 1st), along with the first tranche of US tax on Chinese products which will go into effect the same day!

China’s announcement on Friday for retaliatory measures to go into effect September 1 and December 15, countered the United States’ planned actions. Meanwhile, the PBoC set the Yuan’s reference rate at a new 11-year-plus low. As a response, President Trump applied an additional 5% approximately $550 bln to Chinese imports. Given his history on the trade front, more retaliation would appear to be in the cards; at least this is how markets have interpreted things.

The big question is whether the existing state of affairs is the new standard from now onwards !

So far, this is what it seems to be happening, as everything points out that economy might be in a significant turning point, with the latest proof seen in the selling of Germany’s first 30-year Bund with a zero coupon, which coincides with a period of further Fiscal Expansion possibility.

Today’s latest poor data in EU and I am referring of course to the German Ifo, disappointed once again, with the headline number at the lowest level since November 2012. The report was expected to add to warnings from the Bundesbank that the economy may continue to contract in the third quarter, which would leave the overall economy in technical recession after the decline in Q2.

Geopolitical trade developments and Brexit uncertainty are largely to blame, with the weakness in manufacturing now starting to impact the overall labour market and other sectors. So far, the sector breakdown of the Ifo still shows that optimists outnumber pessimists in both services and construction, but with the trade reading now also in negative territory and especially services confidence falling sharply in August, the balance of risks is clearly tilted to the downside.

Apart from the trade war affecting Eurozone’s economy and adding pressure on ECB to prepare another package of easing measures in September, the US trade policy also drives the Fed policy expectations as well. These market actions and reactions we have seen the past 3 days will up the ante for the September FOMC meeting. Hence, despite Powell’s efforts last week to pullback any aggressive scenario, expectations for an aggressive 50 bp easing will rise measurably if the trade rhetoric remains heated. A close eye will be kept on the next potential shoe to drop, which would be another breakdown in US-China talks, currently slated for September.

Brexit jitters also remain on the agenda as UK parliament returns from summer recess on September 3. UK PM Johnson repeated that the UK is prepared for a no-deal scenario, however, the most recent Reuters poll on Brexit, which was published earlier in the month, found that while the odds for a disorderly no-deal, no-transition period Brexit had risen to a median probability of 35%, the most probable outcome was still for a deal being struck.

It is in this context that last week’s upbeat remarks from Germany’s Merkel triggered a buying reaction to Pound, although her comments were little more than platitudes; a stage-managed show of reasonableness. What’s clear is that there isn’t any sign that “alternative arrangements” proposals to the Irish border backstop guarantee would be satisfactory to Ireland and the EU as a means of ensuring that the Good Friday Peace Agreement isn’t broken. The possibility for a general election hangs in the air, which would, even if it is held after October 31, boil down to a straight contest between an alliance of pro-EU parties and pro-Brexit parties. That may be the point at which Brexit is once and for all decided on.

Hence as we will soon enter September, August and more precisely the current week is critical as it might provide a reflection of the upcoming month’s outlook. August has been challenging even though it isn’t over yet. Nearly all the major global indices have dropped over 4.5% this month, with even larger declines in the NASDAQ (-5.2%), Hang Seng (-5.8%) and FTSE (-6.5%). This might continue especially amid an increasing turbulent geopolitical backdrop and extended growth slowdown.

Click here to access the Economic Calendar

Andria Pichidi

Market Analyst

Disclaimer: This material is provided as a general marketing communication for information purposes only and does not constitute an independent investment research. Nothing in this communication contains, or should be considered as containing, an investment advice or an investment recommendation or a solicitation for the purpose of buying or selling of any financial instrument. All information provided is gathered from reputable sources and any information containing an indication of past performance is not a guarantee or reliable indicator of future performance. Users acknowledge that any investment in Leveraged Products is characterized by a certain degree of uncertainty and that any investment of this nature involves a high level of risk for which the users are solely responsible and liable. We assume no liability for any loss arising from any investment made based on the information provided in this communication. This communication must not be reproduced or further distributed without our prior written permission.

Let’s sum up! published first on https://alphaex-capital.blogspot.com/

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gyrlversion · 5 years

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With five days to go until Brexit vote analysis says PM faces defeat

Theresa May‘s beleaguered Brexit deal faces a second humiliating defeat as negotiations with the EU hit a brick wall again, MailOnline analysis of the House of Commons suggests today.

The Prime Minister looks unlikely to persuade all the 118 Tory rebels and 10 DUP MPs who voted against the deal in January to change their minds – even if she secures concessions from Brussels.

MailOnline’s bad news for the Prime Minister came as Britain and Brussels were locked in yet another frosty stand-off over Brexit today.

The EU’s chief negotiator Michel Barnier knocked back the Attorney General Geoffrey Cox’s two proposals to solve the Irish backstop yesterday and told Britain it has 48 hours to come back with new cogent plans or talks could be over.

But Mr Cox hit back today and said: ‘We are discussing detailed, coherent, careful proposals. I am surprised to hear the comments that have emerged over the last 48 hours that the proposals are not clear. They are as clear as day and we are continuing to discuss them’.

At home the Prime Minister also faces an uphill battle because it appears she has only won back the support of around 62 Tory rebels – but around 54 from the Brexiteer-led ERG group will not change their minds without a breakthrough in Brussels.

ERG member Mark Francois told ITV’s Peston show last night: ‘The rumours today are that Cox has got nothing. It looks like they haven’t asked for an end date. It looks like they’re talking about some extremely convoluted arbitration procedure, which is probably going to be unconvincing. If it is unconvincing, then I believe that the ERG overwhelmingly will vote against it, because it means we wouldn’t leave the EU’.

Attempts to buy off Labour votes by promising £1billion over six years for struggling towns and reinforcing workers’ rights also appear to have failed with only ten rebels likely to defy Jeremy Corbyn and back the PM.

The EU has warned Theresa May (pictured leaving No 10 tomorrow) she must offer ‘acceptable’ new ideas within 48 hours if she wants to salvage talks on the Brexit deal, which faces a potentially fatal defeat

Acrimonious talks between Mr Cox and the EU’s negotiator Michel Barnier ended in deadlock on Tuesday night with both sides admitting the ‘robust’ and ‘difficult’.

How the numbers stack up against the PM’s deal

AYE VOTES 273

Government payroll vote and the Tory Loyalists on January 15: 198 (unchanged)

The Ministers and Tory MPs who voted for the deal last time are expected to vote Yes again. George Eustice and Alberto Costa resigned from the Government but both will vote for the deal.

Returning Brexiteers: 61 (up 61)

Everything turns on how many Tory rebels return to vote for the deal. Sir Graham Brady, the chairman of the 1922 Committee, has led the charge saying he is ready to return with changes to the backstop.

Labour rebels: 10 (up seven)

The effort to convert Labour MPs to save the deal looks to have mostly failed. Just three backed it last time and a package of money for struggling towns and workers’ rights has convinced few.

Independents: 4 (up one)

A handful of Eurosceptic independent MPs voted for the deal last time and will do so again. Ian Austin has left the Labour party and is now in the independent – but not the TIG – column.

NO VOTES: 365

Tory Brexit Rebels: 46 (down 61)

Many hardcore Brexiteers who hate the deal will not be persuaded to return. This is the battleground: if the European Research Group says no, the rebels will consign May to a second painful defeat.

Tory Remain Rebels: 8 (down 3)

Pro-EU Tory MPs who voted against the deal last time are likely to do so again. They include former ministers such as Jo Johnson and Sam Gyimah. Most back a second referendum. Three of the group went to TIG.

DUP: 10 (unchanged)

May’s DUP allies are waiting to see what Geoffrey Cox agrees in Brussels. They loath the border backstop and without legally binding changes will vote against the deal for a second time.

Labour: 233 (down 13)

Labour has vowed to vote against the Brexit deal for a second time – both to pursue its own plans and in theory now to get a second referendum on the deal. Most Labour MPs will follow orders.

The Independent Group: 11 (up 11)

The defectors from the Labour and Tory ranks all voted against the deal last time and they will do so again. All of them want a new referendum on leaving the EU.

SNP: 35 (unchanged)

The SNP is deeply opposed to Brexit and will continue to vote against the deal. It wants Brexit stopped and sees political advantage in a new referendum to boost its independence hopes.

Others: 22 (unchanged)

An assortment of Lib Dems, Plaid Cymru, Green and Independent MPs who are broadly anti-Brexit. They voted no last time and will do so again.

Downing Street insisted today MPs still needed ‘legally binding’ guarantees the Irish border backstop would not be permanent to pass the deal on Tuesday night.

EU officials have said they are prepared to work through the weekend on the problem but only if Britain offers new suggestions.

Chancellor Philip Hammond today warned Brexiteers to back the deal anyway insisting it is the ‘last chance’ to leave the EU on time today.

The Chancellor said a second loss for the Prime Minister would leave the fate of Brexit ‘highly uncertain’ as he predicted MPs would then vote to rule out no deal and delay Brexit.

If the PM’s deal is defeated on Tuesday night, MPs will vote on whether to rule out no deal on Wednesday before deciding whether to delay Brexit on Thursday.

As the stand off continued today, Theresa May’s official spokesman said: ‘Talks are ongoing. The EU continues to state it wants Britain to leave with a deal.

‘Parliament requires us to get legally binding changes to the backstop.’

Mr Cox rejected EU claims Britain has not offered clear proposals today, telling MPs: ‘We have been engaging in focused, detailed and careful discussions with the Union and we continue to seek legally-binding changes to the backstop which ensure that it cannot be indefinite.

‘These discussions will be resumed shortly.’

He added: ‘We are discussing text with the European Union. I am surprised to hear the comments that have emerged over the last 48 hours the proposals are not clear. They are as clear as day and we are continuing to discuss them.’

The European Commission’s chief spokesman Margaritis Schinas insisted: ‘There are technical meetings ongoing, happening, and then of course all remains to be confirmed if and when, when and if, we have something to be presented, as always you will be the first to know.’

He added: ‘President Juncker is available 24/7 as all our Article 50 teams and everyone involved – we are in permanent contact.’

Mr Hammond told broadcasters: ‘If we don’t pass the meaningful vote on Tuesday we’ll go into a parliamentary process that very likely will lead to an extension of time and an uncertain outcome, more uncertainty for the British economy, more uncertainty for people across the country.

‘It’s very important that my colleagues think about the consequences of not agreeing this deal.

‘This is now the last chance to be confident that we can get this deal done and we can leave the EU on schedule.’

Mr Hammond refused to be drawn on how he would vote if Mrs May’s deal is defeated and MPs are asked whether they want to delay Britain’s exit from the EU.

‘I’m not going to speculate about something that hasn’t happened and I don’t think will happen because I think the Government is very clear where the will of Parliament is on this,’ he told Today.

‘Parliament will vote not to leave the European Union without a deal next Wednesday, I have a high degree of confidence about that.

‘But we do need to have clear confirmation.

‘It’s right that Parliament should make that decision and then we’ll put the question about extending Article 50 and how we try to break this impasse by finding a consensus.’

With just five days until a showdown vote in Parliament on the deal, Attorney General Geoffrey Cox (pictured in the Commons today) insisted his proposals were ‘clear as day’ – but the EU’s chief negotiator Michel Barnier knocked back every one

Following Tuesday’s meeting, Michel Barnier, the EU’s chief negotiator, gave a gloomy assessment of the talks but said afterwards that he was ‘still determined’.

How frosty EU sent Britain back ‘with nothing’ in fiery talks between Geoffrey Cox and Brussels’ Michel Barnier

The EU sent Attorney General Geoffrey Cox packing as ‘difficult’ and ‘negative’ 11th hour talks failed again leaving Theresa May with ‘nothing’ that could win her make-or-break Brexit vote, it was revealed today.

Mr Cox has openly admitted he had ‘robust’ conversations with his counterpart Michel Barnier – diplomatic code for a bust-up – as he returned from Brussels empty handed last night with one source claiming: ‘There is no light at the end of the tunnel’.

Without a breakthrough the Prime Minister’s Brexit deal faces another catastrophic Commons defeat with a senior Tory admitting: ‘Everything is going to be s***’ if they lose again next week.

Mr Barnier, who has led negotiations, reportedly would not budge and ‘did not want to engage’ as he knocked back all the British proposals to break the Irish backstop deadlock demanding Britain ‘re-drafts’ its plans again.

EU sources hit back by claiming Mr Cox had produced ‘nothing new’ and was offering ‘a legal solution to a political problem’ with his mini-backstop proposals, adding: ‘The two sides are still far from each other’.

Sabine Weyand, Mr Barnier’s deputy, has spoken to the remaining EU27 member state ambassadors on the negotiations with Mr Cox with a briefing note describing the crunch talks as ‘negative’.

One diplomat said: ‘There’s no light at the end of the tunnel. It was gloomy’.

Another said: ‘We’re still far from an agreement. There’s no text on the table. If there’s some progress. The point is always the same: how to phrase the backstop in a way that could be acceptable for the UK.’

EU officials are preparing to work round the clock this weekend, saying it is ‘unlikely’ an agreement will be reached before then and that talks will go down to the wire.

And in a warning there will be no significant concessions from the EU, French Europe minister Nathalie Loiseau today said the deal cannot be reopened.

She told BBC Radio 4’s Today programme the deal was the ‘best possible solution’, and said: ‘We cannot reopen this negotiation on the Withdrawal Agreement because it is balanced…

‘We don’t like the backstop, we don’t want to have to implement it, and if we have to, we don’t want to stay in the backstop.

‘We all agree that it should be temporary, and that it’s a last resort solution.’

‘There’s no sign of a breakthrough and there will need to be some tough work in the days ahead if there’s going to be deal,’ one EU official said, adding that it was still possible negotiators could seal a deal by the end of the weekend.

But that would leave Mrs May just 24 hours to travel to Brussels to endorse the deal on Monday before taking it back to be voted on by MPs the next day.

Tory Brexiteers have already warned the Prime Minister they want at least two days to scrutinise any new offer and will not be ‘bounced’ into an early vote.

Mr Cox, who met Mr Barnier with Brexit Secretary Stephen Barclay, described Tuesday’s late-night talks as ‘robust’ as he returned to London yesterday.

He said: ‘We are into the meat of the matter now. We’ve put forward some proposals, very reasonable proposals, and we’re now really into the detail of the discussions.

‘Both sides have exchanged robust, strong views and we are now facing the real discussions. Talks will be resuming soon.’

Philip Hammond (pictured in Downing Street yesterday) warned Brexiteers voting for Theresa May’s deal on Tuesday is the ‘last chance’ to leave the EU on time today

The latest row over the backstop – designed to prevent a hard border emerging in Ireland – centres around disagreements over language which could either form a new document to be added to the Withdrawal Treaty or sit alongside it, said to be taken from a letter written by European Commission President Jean-Claude Junker (pictured)

Last night it emerged that Mr Cox is trying to secure an ‘arbitration panel’ that would determine if the two sides were acting in good faith in trying to find alternatives to the backstop.

But according to a report on the BuzzFeed website, the idea was rejected by Mr Barnier.

Sources say Mr Cox and Mr Barclay could be back in Brussels as early as tomorrow to help push a deal over the line in time for next week’s vote.

Technical discussions, led by Mrs May’s chief Brexit adviser Olly Robbins, will continue in Brussels. Neither side is said to have presented any new formal text.

According to EU sources, ‘inspiration’ for the text has been drawn from a joint letter sent to Mrs May by EU Commission and Council chiefs Jean-Claude Juncker and Donald Tusk in January.

Michel Barnier, the EU’s chief negotiator, gave a gloomy assessment of the talks but said afterwards that he was ‘still determined’

This included a pledge to reach a future trade agreement ‘speedily’ and talked of a ‘firm determination’ to have an alternative to the backstop ready so it would either never have to be used or only triggered ‘temporarily’.

Negotiators are struggling with the ‘semantic’ challenge of agreeing a form of words which will please both sides.

Peers demand the UK stays in a customs union after Brexit

The House of Lords has demanded Britain stays in a Customs union with the EU after Brexit.

Last night, peers defied Government pleas to amend the Trade Bill to make a customs union an ‘objective’ of the trade talks phase of Brexit negotiations.

The rebel amendment carried 207-141 – setting up a new showdown when the legislation returns to the Commons.

MPs have to agree any changes made by the Lords and the Government would try to strip it from the Bill.

But PM Theresa May has only a feeble grip of the Commons and could be defeated by a handful of soft Brexit Tory rebels.

Downing Street acknowledged the talks were deadlocked, but insisted they would continue.

A spokesman for the Prime Minister said: ‘The EU continues to say they want this resolved and they want the UK to leave with a deal. Parliament has been clear we need legally-binding changes to ensure the UK cannot be stuck in the backstop indefinitely.’

An EU Commission spokesman said: ‘While the talks were held under a constructive atmosphere, discussions have been difficult and we have not yet been able to identify any solution.’

Meanwhile, EU boats will be banned from fishing in UK waters if Britain leaves without a deal under a new law to be laid before Parliament today.

Environment Secretary Michael Gove will say boats which want to fish off the UK coast will need a licence from the Government.

MPs were warned last night they may lose their Easter holiday to push through Brexit legislation. It was the clearest hint yet that Brexit is set to be delayed.

Mr Gove warned MPs that votes on vital Brexit legislation could be held during Easter.

How the numbers stack up against the PM’s ailing deal…

Ahead of the vote at 7pm on Tuesday, this is how MailOnline estimates the Commons will split:

There is one vacant seat in Newport West following the death of Paul Flynn. The seven Sinn Fein MPs and four Speakers do not vote.

AYE VOTES 272

Government payroll vote and the Tory Loyalists on January 15: 196 (unchanged)

The Ministers and Tory MPs who voted for the deal last time are expected to vote Yes again. George Eustice and Alberto Costa resigned from the Government but both will vote for the deal.

Returning Brexiteers: 62 (up 62)

Labour rebels: 10 (up seven)

The effort to convert Labour MPs to save the deal looks to have mostly failed. Just three backed it last time and a package of money for struggling towns and workers’ rights has convinced few.

Independents: 4 (up one)

A handful of Eurosceptic independent MPs voted for the deal last time and will do so again. Ian Austin has left the Labour party and is now in the independent – but not the TIG – column.

NO VOTES: 366

Tory Rebels: 54 (down 64)

Many hardcore Brexiteers who hate the deal will not be persuaded to return. This is the battleground: if the European Research Group says no, the rebels will consign May to a second painful defeat.

DUP: 10 (unchanged)

May’s DUP allies are waiting to see what Geoffrey Cox agrees in Brussels. They loath the border backstop and without legally binding changes will vote against the deal for a second time.

Labour: 235 (down 13)

Labour has vowed to vote against the Brexit deal for a second time – both to pursue its own plans and in theory now to get a second referendum on the deal. Most Labour MPs will follow orders.

The Independent Group: 11 (up 11)

The defectors from the Labour and Tory ranks all voted against the deal last time and they will do so again. All of them want a new referendum on leaving the EU.

SNP: 35 (unchanged)

The SNP is deeply opposed to Brexit and will continue to vote against the deal. It wants Brexit stopped and sees political advantage in a new referendum to boost its independence hopes.

Others: 21 (unchanged)

An assortment of Lib Dems, Plaid Cymru, Green and Independent MPs who are broadly anti-Brexit. They voted no last time and will do so again.

Labour fury at Jeremy Corbyn for cosying up to Tory Remainers who want a Norway Plus-style soft Brexit as it emerges allies warned him he will NEVER be PM if he backs a ‘second referendum’ in fiery showdown

Jeremy Corbyn was today accused of betraying his second referendum promise by ‘plotting’ with Tories who want a super-soft Brexit that would tie the UK to Brussels.

The Labour leader has discussed the Norway-style deal being proposed by senior Conservatives including Nick Boles and Oliver Letwin who want Britain to be in permanent customs union with the EU.

The meeting, which was also attended by Labour remainers, was meant to last around 15 minutes but went on for over an hour.

24 hours earlier Corbyn loyalist Ian Lavery reportedly ripped into Labour MPs now pushing Mr Corbyn towards a new EU vote and told Mr Corbyn: ‘If we back a 2nd referendum you will never be Prime Minister’, according to The Sun.

And hinting that he could back a softer Brexit deal Mr Corbyn said last night: ‘I left both meetings more certain than ever that we can find a way to work across Parliament to force the Government to back a sensible Brexit plan that protects jobs and more determined to achieve it’.

But his response has caused a backlash among second referendum supporters with one critic saying: ‘The party leader is undermining the party’s second referendum stance by plotting with the Tories’ – another Labour supporter said: ‘It’s a betrayal’.

Norway’s arrangement with the EU forces it to accept the free movement of people – ruled out by Labour’s 2017 manifesto.

Jeremy Corbyn discussed the idea of a Norway-style deal with the EU with a cross-party group of MPs – but was accused of betrayal by those who want a second referendum

Mr Boles was in an upbeat mood following yesterday’s meeting with Jeremy Corbyn, which is likely to annoy supporters of a second referendum

But in a surprise move, the Labour leader discussed the idea with a cross-party group of MPs calling for the softest possible Brexit as an alternative to a second referendum.

What is the Norway-plus Brexit senior remainers are pushing for?

MPs from across parties have been mooting the idea of a Norway model keeping Britain in the customs union like the Scandinavian country.

It would effectively keep the UK in the single market, with a customs bolt-on to avoid a hard Irish border, and backers say it would keep Britain close to the EU while cutting contributions to Brussels.

However, critics say it has the drawbacks of keeping free movement, – and tightly limiting the possibilities for doing trade deals elsewhere.

The EU is also thought to have concerns about a country the UK’s size joining the EEA, while other states in the group might be resistant.

Tories last the meeting were joined by Labour MPs, Lucy Powell and Stephen Kinnock.

Nick Boles said he was ‘happy’ after the talks about the so-called ‘Common Market 2.0 proposal’ and tweeted last night: ‘For months now we have been meeting with senior MPs from all parties in search of a cross party Brexit compromise’.

In a separate development last night, the House of Lords voted for plans that would force Theresa May to seek a permanent customs union with the EU after Brexit.

The moves underline fears at the top of Government that Parliament will seize control of the Brexit process if Mrs May’s deal is rejected for a second time on March 12.

Chief Whip Julian Smith warned the Cabinet on Tuesday that Parliament would ‘try to force the Government into a customs union’ if the deal is defeated next week. Mrs May is considering a public warning on the issue tomorrow in the hope of pressuring MPs into supporting her proposals.

A Whitehall source said the PM could make a major speech ‘framing next week as the moment of decision for the country’.

Yesterday’s talks involved Mr Corbyn, Tory ex-ministers Sir Oliver Letwin and Nick Boles and Labour backers of the Norway plan, Stephen Kinnock and Lucy Powell.

Mr Kinnock said the meeting involved talks about a Norway-style deal, adding: ‘There is a strong cross-party consensus for a pragmatic, bridge-building Brexit.’

Sir Oliver, working with Labour’s Yvette Cooper, is leading a push for Parliament to take control of the Brexit process.

Former Tory leader Iain Duncan Smith said last night it was ‘astonishing’ that senior Conservatives were willing to work with Labour’s hard-Left leader on plans that would undermine Government policy.

In a separate development last night, the House of Lords voted for plans that would force Theresa May to seek a permanent customs union with the EU after Brexit

Last night, peers backed an amendment to the Customs Bill by a majority of 66 that would require Mrs May to seek a permanent customs union with the EU after Brexit. An alliance of Labour, Lib Dem, cross bench and some Tory peers defeated the Government by 207 votes to 141.

Labour’s trade spokesman in the Lords, Lord Stevenson of Balmacara, said: ‘Ministers must drop their red lines on Brexit and embark on a fresh approach to the negotiations with the EU based around a Customs Union that protects jobs, secures opportunities for our industries, and removes the need for a hard border in Ireland.’

Ministers had been resigned to losing last night’s vote, but No10 indicated it would seek to overturn the demand in the Commons, where MPs have already voted twice to reject a permanent customs union.

Mrs May’s spokesman said: ‘The PM has been clear about the importance of the UK being able to have its own trade policy.’

Norway is not in the customs union but is a member of the EU’s single market, and has to accept free movement, pay into the EU budget and accept EU laws. Senior Tories warn that making the UK a rule-taker undermines the idea that the UK is taking back control from the EU.

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