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lastweeksshirttonight · 8 months

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Did you want my notes on Strike Force Five episode one? No? TOO BAD! YOU'RE GETTING THEM!

(Heavy spoilers for episode 1 if you plan on listening soon!)

- I love the show's overall vibe and the "roles" that all of the guys play. It's definitely a free-wheeling, off the rails kind of show, where everyone is rambling over each other; the personalities involved can make or break this kind of podcast, and everyone thankfully is playing to their strengths.

Kimmel serves as the overall show runner and is seemingly the only one endeavoring to keep anything on track, which is a slightly thankless job with this group, but he's got a soundboard and all his radio experience guiding him. Colbert also leans into being the other "elder statesman", as it were, but is much easier to derail (and provides his own episode eclipsing derail I'll talk about later). Fallon is surprisingly reserved and a bit awkward - I'm not the hugest fan of Fallon, but in this podcast, that energy serves him pretty well. Kimmel introduces Seth as "the cute one" and he seems the most neutral so far, just there to ask questions and crack jokes. And John is their super sarcastic "evil teammate" who occasionally interjects to just destroy everyone. Perfect dynamics, 10/10, no notes.

- Seth qualifies his eyes as ocean blue. John says they're Gatorade blue. I don't think I've ever laughed harder at a description of someone's eyes.

- There's a point where I assume there must have been a really blunt edit, because Fallon changes the topic abruptly to having a doctorate. Otherwise, I love the image of Fallon just sitting on that revelation and WAITING, BURSTING to talk about how he has a doctorate, while everyone else talks about Kimmel getting paid summers off.

- Everyone mention multiple times that they have sponsors and are doing this show to help pay their staff during the strikes, which is lovely. This does not mean they aren't taking the piss out of their sponsors. I never thought I'd hear worse ad copy reading than I do on The Jeff Gerstmann Show (I love Jeff, don't get me wrong, but his ad copy screaming is hilariously bad), but the Casamigos ad in this is something else. John spends most of his reading time shitting on a bleeped-out competitor that he calls "not fit for human consumption", Stephen says "you're gonna wanna wipe your ass with it" and likens it to the smoothness of sheets you make love on, there's a disembodied "woo" at some point, Seth stumbles all over a few Spanish words, and Fallon delivers his lines in his awful fake French Timothee Chalamet puppet voice. It's pure chaos and I love it so much.

- Kimmel referring to "the despicable Matt Damon" made me so happy.

- John has never done a deposition. Kimmel saying "I'm surprised you're not in prison" gets lost which is sad, that's a fucking hilarious joke.

- Fallon tells an amazing story about his mom being a nun for a week. She left after being reprimanded for taking Lifesavers into the nunnery and then left. My late aunt and best friend, who was also a nun, probably would have loved Jimmy's mom, as she was always going on wine tastings and picked the order she joined entirely based on who would let her continue to drink after taking her vows. Jimmy also has a picture of his mom dressed as a nun holding a doll dressed as a nun, which is absurd and adorable.

- This leads to everyone but Seth confessing that they'd all thought about becoming priests at some point. That doesn't shock me about Stephen at all, tbf, knowing how religious he is.

- I have to shamefully admit that when John mentioned that he told his father he wanted to be a vicar, my brain went to an extremely Fleabag place and I had to rewind the podcast once I snapped out of it and realized I'd missed like 3 minutes of jokes (including a fantastic one from Seth about John having a doll of himself as a child, like Fallon's mom's nun doll).

- "Don't you want a whole new crop of relatives to visit and entertain?" "Do you wanna get cancelled?! :D" The two Jimmys everyone.

- Stephen reveals who he has everyone saved as in his phone, to prevent people from figuring out who his contacts are if his phone gets stolen. John's is Joliver, which 1) was his name as written on TDS scripts to differentiate him from Jon Stewart, and 2) as everyone points out, is a VERY easy code to crack. Don't really need Sherlock for that one.

- ONE OF US ALERT: Stephen collects weird late night shit, like a hat from The Chevy Chase Show (John literally goes "WOW") and a silk jacket from The Pat Sajak Show. I am very jealous of this collection.

- Next episode everyone will talk about first episodes. I cannot wait to hear John talk about how all over the place his first episode is.

- The big story, running joke, and completely wild admission from this episode - Stephen Colbert has a pair of Nicaraguan dictator Anastasio Somoza's pants. Fallon asks how no one outbid him, and it turns out his MOTHER had them BECAUSE SHE DATED HIM. His uncle went to LaSalle Military Academy with Somoza, and Somoza stayed with them during holiday breaks. Everyone else in the room picks up on the idea that Stephen's mom probably slept with a dictator (or as Kimmel says, "made love to a murderer"), Seth claims his mom drinks coffee out of Ferdinand Marcos' skull, and every other male figure Stephen brings up for the rest of the episode is assumed to be someone his mom slept with.

If you asked me before listening to this podcast if I thought there were going to be a pile of elevated "your mom" jokes holding it together, I would have pretty strongly said "no". Surprises at every turn in this pod.

The beginning of this story also captures John SO STRONGLY, and he wants to hear everything about it. Definite Bugle vibes there, this man will never not want to hear about weird dictator facts. He also manages to completely kill Seth by saying "Anastasio Somoza's pants, brought to you by Casamigos".

- Finally, I have already sent an email to the show asking about Planet of the Bass, to make up for my complete failure to ask at the Q&A. I got y'all, we'll get this answer some day.

#strike force five #john oliver #seth meyers #stephen colbert #jimmy kimmel #jimmy fallon #literally wrote this at work so apologies for its complete lack of coherence #but spotify you ✨️fucks✨️

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crow-caller · 1 year

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for the artist ask thing: 9, 11, 23

9. What are you currently trying to improve?

GWAHAHAHAHA

I really am not trying to improve......

Okay, hear me out: I am not trying to be a professional artist. I like my art enough. I have fun with it. I have not really improved over the years particularly and that's okay. I draw what I can, which is mostly lone figures in empty spaces in about the same pose, and I actually am cool with that. I like to do character design and I have enough skill to draw a character as I want to, and that's all I need!

Doing the art panels for Good Angel has helped me improve slightly 'backgrounds' and 'perspective', which is cool, but it's just not a main goal for me.

I think I clearly have improved, but it's not a main goal, and I'm happier because of that.

11. Favorite comment you’ve ever recieved on your work?

I'm counting this as also a writer, not just an artist! I don't feel like I get a lot of casual comments on any of my work, but book wise, someone did read Bad End (Good Angel 2) and really like it. Wow, that sounds like only one person has ever read BE! I mean, it feels like that sometimes, but no- someone read BE and made one of those 'bigger brain' memes of stuff that happens in BE and it was the best thing I've ever heard about my work. I'm very happy with BE and wish it wasn't book two so more people would read it, and seeing someone connect with it and all the twists and getting a 'mind blown' moment kicked so much ass.

23. Do you listen to music or watch shows while you work? If so, what’s your favourite?

I have ADHD, so I gotta! Yes, I'm always doing more than one thing at once. Writing wise it is just music, often instrumental or ambient as words distract from the words I'm writing. When I draw I'm generally watching something, the kind of stuff I'd normally watch- youtube old and new, shows, whatever. I watch a lot of stuff. Drawing is less mentally demanding, so I need to watch tv with it/listen to a podcast, as otherwise I'm not stimulated enough. ADD, baby

#ask game #sometimes theres asks

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anonymousad · 9 months

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After reading through your apology, I genuinely think your heart is in the right place. I can imagine, from a consumer standpoint, that seeing these large production budgets essentially being made the audiences' problem is frustrating. But I'd like to at least explain why crowdfunds are the way they are, as someone on "the inside".

I get that your stance is "Capitalism is bad", but that doesn't mean we can ignore it outright. You said on you Shelterwood post "a "fair wage" is a capitalist idea that most don't benefit from", but does that mean people shouldn't be paid at all? Frankly, I disagree.

People deserve to be paid for their labor. Again, it's not fair that the budget has now become the audience's burden, but it's also not fair to say that the concept of a fair wage is bad, full stop. Especially for older content creators, we can't justify time for passion projects on shoestring budgets anymore. We can say capitalism is bad all we want, but while we're living in it, all your favorite content creators still have to play the game.

The money has to come from somewhere. Often, we crowdfund because the usual avenues of making money in podcasting isn't available to us. For what it's worth, how that's solved is a discussion many creators are having now. (This is why you'll likely see an increase in ads across the board, and I hope you have patience for shows that run ads when they happen.)

As I said, I think your heart is in the right place. And yes, there's a discussion that needs to happen regarding crowdfunding and what's realistic to expect from audiences. But I do want to make it clear that us creators aren't pulling these big numbers to swindle anyone out of their money. We just want to keep telling stories, and while we live in capitalism, we are need money to do it.

I don't know if this ask is from the same person, but either way thank you for hearing me out and giving me the benefit of the doubt in terms of my sincerity.

so I think that something that is happening here (which is something that I experience in my real life as a left-leaning person when I try to have these conversations with certain types of people) is that we are getting caught up in whether it's feasible to live within a capitalist system without being agents of it.

we are all victims to it AND victimizers. especially if you live in a "wealthy" nation (by the standards of GDP, not by the standards of how individual citizens are faring). if you shop at a chain grocery store, use Amazon, buy fast fashion, etc etc. a lot of things that are unavoidable to make it by, because doing otherwise is very expensive.

the point being, yes, we all have to survive under capitalism.

but I think where the viewpoint stated by this anon and my own differ is that we are trying to get that money to survive from different places. every content creator across all mediums (YouTubers, musicians, TikTokers, podcasters, etc.) has to figure out how to make it something that they can afford to do. things are not created out of nothing, they take time and effort and talent and MONEY.

where you are getting that money from and how you are distributing it is also really important though.

I am not against the concept of "fair wages", but the idea of this is something that exists in the realm of business. and if you are going to treat a production like a BUSINESS, then you need to actually think about what that means. a business needs to be able to support itself financially through the product it makes or service it provides. the problem is that within the context of audio drama that does not really exist as a path, it only works AFTER you have put in the un/underpaid labor to build a base of supporters.

obviously we don't really charge people to get to listen to podcasts, that doesn't work in our space unless you already have a massive base of support willing to trust blindly that it will be worth it. we kind of get around that through Patreon and Ko-fi by creators providing exclusive content, something much more akin to how a business operates. there are also now the "+" style subscriptions that some networks and apps like Apollo have started, but to me those are very similar in that they are basically aggregating the same content that people are posting to their Patreons in an attempt to be a more enticing proposition than supporting a single creator.

your podcast CAN'T be treated like a business until there is a sustainable way to support it like one, and crowdfunding just isn't going to be that.

we still need to think about what can be sustainable for the community, a point I made that you didn't really acknowledge here. crowdfunding cannot be a sustainable method in these high amounts, it is literally impossible. with campaigns this size every month, sometimes multiple at once, where is that money supposed to come from sustainably? especially in the context I've been pointing out about how people are struggling right now, something you can't ignore when the contributors to these kinds of campaigns are average people.

at that point what you are actually looking for is an investor, a very common business practice for a start-up. which is what these campaigns are basically attempting to be, so it is a logical method of getting the funds. especially when what is apparently needed is this high.

so, we need to be looking at who does have the money and would be willing to contribute to the types of things we make; groups that have the resources and connections needed to help these kinds of larger scale projects succeed.

and wouldn't you know it, there's a very obvious solution to this one problem: podcast networks.

podcast networks are a middleman in the space, seemingly collecting money with the only benefit being minimal promotion and advertising help, and of course slapping a recognizable name on there that maybe attracts a few more listeners because it has "network backing". what services are they providing with that money they are taking? it should be argued that if you are essentially paying part of your revenue to a network that they are using it substantially to help support your endeavors. I have not seen this level of support from any of them.

the closest we've gotten to this is when the Apollo app gave $10,000 to some creators last year to make something completely original and unique (for example, Ester Ellis, creator of Station Blue and The Goblet Wire, was able to create something completely unique and out of the box with Whale Song). to be honest, that obvious ploy to get into the community's good graces is more than any of the actual networks have done. it doesn't really matter that it was a calculated business decision that would benefit them, it also benefited US as creators.

making deals with a network or outside funder is ACTUALLY "playing the game" of capitalism, getting it from individuals as part of an unsustainable crowdfunding campaign is not.

and again, it really matters that these resources are being EQUITABLY spread, but that is another conversation to be had if/when these things start existing for people to take advantage of.

additionally, it is worth pointing out that there are cities/states/countries that offer artistic grants. if your project needs major funding it is part of your due diligence to look into these things as potentially avenues. ignoring these opportunities is honestly negligent and disrespectful to fans who want to see the show get made by putting the entire burden of the cost on them.

you also mentioned advertisements, something that is an annoying but everyday part of our consumer society. for a lot of content creators I know it is the ONLY way to make money (note: I include sponsorship deals within the banner of advertising personally) and I do not begrudge them that because it's just how this shit works. yeah we all dislike getting interrupted by an ad, even between distinct episodes, but I don't think anyone should get upset at that stuff unless it's truly egregious (something like 3 minutes of ads for 5 minutes of actual content is just being shitty about the value of people's time).

this is actually an example of the right type of revenue stream to be chasing. residuals and passive income are important parts of making a business sustainable, especially a content creation business where the "product" is freely available. that is literally what ads were made for, it's how network TV makes money too. no, I don't think that this alone can sustain the costs of a production team, but I do think that it's things like this that need to be where the thought and energy goes when looking for ways to supplement it. hence the popularity of monthly support options, merch, sponsorships, etc.

I would also like to point out I am also an audio drama creator, I've been very open about that. whenever I get an idea for a new project or even just making my current ones happen I am also having to ask and deal with these questions of money. and I readily admit it isn't easy, money and compensation for non-tangible services and goods is not straightforward.

but that's why I make it a priority to work within my bounds while I figure it out. my first endeavor did not include asking for more money than some people make in a year, it was me investing in a microphone and asking people if they were interested in taking part even though it wasn't paid. I figured out how to make it work by using Freesound and Audacity and spending hours googling when I desperately needed one super specific thing. I recognized that 1) it was not something I could afford to spend money at the time, 2) I had not proven myself to the community such that I would feel right asking for money without any indication of the quality of product they would be receiving, and 3) that creative budgeting was always going to have to be part of how I did this.

I know the term "creative budgeting" may not be familiar to all kinds of people, but it is pretty much exactly what it sounds like. it's something that people have to do every day to pay their bills and buy groceries and keep their businesses afloat.

asking others to pay me a business-adjacent "fair wage" for an unprovable possible product is not being responsible with funds. there are a lot of resources available that can help ease costs and get rid of the less necessary expenses, and that is part of successfully allocating funds for any kind of project.

one last thing I want to address on here:

you talk about older people not having the benefit of passion projects. while I can empathize with what you are saying, this is kind of an ageist and ableist take and I want to address it so that you can have a better understanding of why it's problematic.

first of all, I think it's fair to say that everyone is financially struggling right now. it is a privilege to even have the time and energy to create instead of having to spend every ounce of yourself just surviving, one I recognize that I personally have.

we're at a stage where identifying as an "older content creator" might just mean "Millennial", and yeah that generation has suffered a lot financially due to Gen X and Boomers. but so has everyone born after them, it is no longer a uniquely Millennial problem to have money trouble. I know plenty of people in this age group who are tight financially, but not so tight that they are actively in danger. and I know people in that group who are barely scraping together enough to eat and keep a roof over their head.

I can say the exact same thing about Gen Z. if anything, Millennials have the benefit of the hardest times hitting AFTER getting degrees and those vital first jobs that create the lucrative "job experience" that every application after will be looking for. it's nearly impossible for some younger people to land "entry level" these days.

I'm really discussing a larger issue here, but by bringing up the difference in age as a contributing factor, it somewhat feels like you are saying that you are more worthy of those types of contributions and investments because of age. which is the kind of language we all grew up hearing from our parents and from policymakers and eventually from our bosses. it's an unhelpful stance to take when all of us are more or less in the same shitty situation.

the longer I've lived the more clear it's become that these generational divides from Millennial downward have been very intentionally placed to try and make us alienated from one another. I am somewhere in that vast swathe and that's how I identify; as part of the generations who were screwed. it doesn't matter which one, when you were born at this point only has an impact on how long you've already suffered, not how long you are going to.

which is fucking bleak, yeah. but an important reminder that solidarity is important in all things, especially when it comes to the arts and expression.

your age doesn't give you more of a right to be exploitative. that is not an accusation towards anyone, it's more of a general statement about the ways in which we let a lot of the older generations who have power get away with abusing everyone beneath them.

to much more briefly touch on why it is an ableist statement, I'm just going to point out that there are lot of factors that can impact someone's life regardless of age and make things more difficult for them. I know there is a lot of neurodivergence in the community, which can be disabling for some. I also know that there are some physically disabled creators who have talked about difficulties and barriers that people twice their age haven't had to deal with. it's something that I understand can be easy to forget if you aren't faced with it every day, I do not blame people for that. but that's why I think it is important to point out here so that eventually it will be something that everyone considers.

lastly, a couple of small notes that didn't fit in anywhere above, but I wanted to include

it is worth pointing out here that it is a privilege to be able to pay someone at all, one that a lot of projects don't have the luxury of. I don't think that's right, but it is a reality of making art.

"swindling" may be a harsh word for what I think is happening with these campaigns. I certainly think it is inequitably pulling resources towards individuals, but I don't believe that people are literally getting scammed

that's all I've got on this one, thanks for sticking with me and I HOPE we can spur some more conversations from this. namely, if you are part of a network you should ask them what they do to provide support for the community. make them sweat a little bit, it might benefit us all.

#anonymous ad #crowdfund don'ts #crowdfund tips #crowdfunding can't be sustainable #sorry it just isn't possible #if you want to be a business then pursue business funding #or bully your podcast network into helping to fund you #I'm serious they have the money and I NEVER see them doing promotion after the initial push #what are they spending it on if not supporting the shows they get to profit off of #also as per usual fuck capitalism for making these conversations things that need to happen #I just want all of us to be able to create art in peace without worrying about how to live #but part of that is being conscious of how you are impacting the broader community and resources available

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fortunatelyhauntedblackcherry · 4 years

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Moonshine - A Beetlejuice Fanfiction 08

Warning: ANGST. With capital letters. So much trauma, anger, crying and death you guys. It was so hard for me to write, it was emotionally challenging, so it might do the same to some of you by reading it. There's also swearing in it.

Beetlejuice floated right through the wall between Rei's and Ari's room. He stretched his back with closed eyes and a huge smile, his bones cracking like dry branches in the wind.

- Oh babes you couldn't possibly imagine how happy I am right now! I heard a genuine scream coming my way! Ah man I haven't heard any of those in a decade, it sounded so... - Beetlejuice opened his eyes. The room was almost empty, only Sirius was inside. Couple of sewing patters were scattered on the floor, next to the already cut-out parts of a cornflower blue dress. BJ blinked at Ari's laptop; the podcast she was listening to has been stopped. - ...kinky. - he finished his sentence in a lowered voice.

He suddenly turned his head to the open window as he realized that a muffled voice came from outside. Sirius scuffled for a bit when he heard the noise and growled when Beetlejuice moved past him. The demon climbed out to the roof, following the noises. Ari was sitting at the farthest end, wrapped in an oversized dark green knitted cardigan. Beetlejuice almost called out to her, scolding her for disappearing when he had such great news but he stopped himself when he realized what the voices were. Ari was crying.

- Babes? - asked Beetlejuice, as he lowered his raspy voice. - What's going on? - Ari quickly turned to the demon's voice's direction. She had a used tissue in her hand. She quickly tried to cover her face with her hair but Beetlejuice saw what she was hiding. Her emerald eyes were all puffy and red, her nose was swollen and full-blooded too, and her lips looked like she didn't drink any water in a week. Her voice was cracking a bit as she started talking.

- Oh, it's nothing, Bug, just... - she beckoned with her hand. Beetlejuice heard as she tried to pull herself together. She let out a huge breath. - ...it's just my mental health issues. They're acting up again. - Beetlejuice stepped next to her as she cleared her throat. - Just gimme a sec, I'll be alright and you can tell me what you have done to my poor sister.

- Nonono, there's something wrong here. - he sat down next to Ari. Her legs were pulled close to her chest as she has enclasped them. She put her chin on her knees, showing as little of her face as she could. - You had a bad day last week when your anxiety was thriving. This is not like that. - Ari smiled lightly. Her wet eyelashes juddered, which made them glisten in the beams of moonlight.

- You really got to know me in the past couple weeks, didn't you?

- Yeah, that... and you also made me sit through 13 episodes of Therapy, which is an awful series by the way, so I'm basically a mind-scientist now. - Ari snorted while she let out a small, sad laugh. - So tell Doctor B, what's going on here, patient number one? - Ari let go of her knees and huffed out. She let her legs dangle off of the roof. She didn't look at Beetlejuice's direction, she just watched the darkness pass by under her feet.

- I... I got to know why do I hear you.

Beetlejuice scrowled and shook his head.

- I'm not following, please explain why does that makes you sad? I thought you wanted to know... - he stopped as Ari rubbed her temples and sighed. She kept her eyes closed while she was talking.

- B., of course I wanted to know! I wanna help, don't think otherwise, it's just... - she clenched her jaw, swallowed her saliva then continued. - The memories. They make me so goddamn angry and sad at the same time.

- I don't get it. - Beetlejuice sounded clueless. He didn't really know what she was talking about. As Ari clicked with her tongue, Beetlejuice moved closer to her and leaned even closer to her ear. His voice was as raspy as always, but he sounded much more sweet and kind. Almost gentle. - Maybe... Talking will help. I don't know, Dr. Phil says it does a lot. - Ari opened her eyes and breathed out. Her breath was jerky.

- The podcast I was listening to, you know, the one about the extraspecial demons, well... - Beetlejuice looked down at Ari's hands. She was sinking her nails into her fingertips. She must have been doing this for at least an hour, since some already left dark purple marks on her fingerpads. Beetlejuice put his hand over Ari's. The cold air made the girl shiver a bit but it also made her stop. - The show started with the hosts talking about how they invited a parapsychologist into the show so he could tell the audience interesting things about demons generally before they start to talk about the different types. So the guy said really interesting stuff, hands down, it really was good, but then he said that after a certain type of trauma, some people develop a weird... "ability". - she used her hands to emphasize the word then let them fall onto her lap again. She sighed. - Do you want to hear the long story of why do I hear you, or the short version? - Beetlejuice flinched his eyes.

- I prefer long and thick things so give it to me, baby. - Ari didn't react to his joke. She'd didn't even smile. She looked like she was was collecting her strength. After a couple minutes of silence, she finally started to speak.

- Bug, have you ever seen how my abdomen looks?

That was a sudden question.

- No? - he said in a kind of shy voice. He didn't wanna upset her more. She seemed just as miserable as furious. - You said no croptops until it's at least 30 °C... Why? - Ari breathed in and layed a bit back. She started to roll her olive t-shirt up on her belly.

Beetlejuice gasped and held his palm before his mouth. The tips of his hair started to turn into red and purple at the same time.

- Who... Who did that to you?!? - Beetlejuice held his hand above the three scars that Ari had on her abdomen. They were shapeless, with rigged edges and at least 5 centimeters long each.

- They've been with me since I was 17. - she sniffled a bit as she let her shirt down. She pulled one of her knees close to her chest again, and put her elbow up on it. - Don't worry, I already got used to them. I don't love them, but they're stuck with me so... - she sighed and look at Beetlejuice's direction. - You sure you wanna hear this story? I might cry. I might get furious and start screaming. You wouldn't like either.

- It's true that nothing is sexier than laughing and screaming of terror, but I'd surely get hard, seeing you deranged with anger. - Ari snorted at the demon's arousing voice. He actually just tried to cover up the fact that all he wanted was to kill whoever did that, and then hug the girl tight.

- Get ready for a love story that is basically horror at best... The kind where the hero still... Gets broken in the end. - she sighed and looked up at the stars. - This fucked up story starts half a year before I got my scars. I started dating a guy named... - she gulped and closed her eyes. - Matthias. - she opened her eyes with a sigh. - Gods, I hate to say his name out loud. It makes me wanna gag. It was a teenage love, I didn't see or didn't want to see his faults and I totally fell head over feet for him. You know what I'm talking about, right?

- Totally. - he had no clue.

- So you know, it was fun in the beginning. He was older than me, so nice and funny. He escorted me basically everywhere, and it just felt so good to be with him. - she sighed. - I thought that he was just worried when he told me I shouldn't go to a party with my friends cause "the world is filled with creeps", but later I realized that he was just simply possessive. - she sighed, sounding annoyed, and looked straight into the darkness of the night. - I started feeling anxious because of him when he started to tell me where could I go and what could I wear. "That's too showing, you can show that much skin only to me!" - she said in a mimicking voice. Then her face turned so dark so quickly. - He told me that if I wasn't acting nice, or behave, or do exactly as he says, that would make him look bad before his friends and a good girlfriend wouldn't want that. Shit, man, we've been together for 4 months only but I was so unstable because of him and massive bullying in school that I turned out to be an anxious wreck. - she clicked her tongue, got up and started to walk up and down, her bare feet tapping on the roof. - We went out one day, and during our "date" he repeatedly told me how I was not smart enough, pretty enough, ENOUGH, and he was with me just because no one else would want me. After he dropped me off at home, I started crying my heart out to my mom. - her eyes got teary again, but there was so much anger in her voice. - Gods she's such a wonderful woman. She taught me how to be brave, how to be strong enough to be myself. And at that moment she made me realize how I'm starting to lose my badass, weird but awesome self because of this stupid cabrón! - she kicked the air. Her breathing was so fast, and her body was radiating so much heat it could almost warm Beetlejuice up. She breathed out with a sigh. - Shit, I must look like a crazy person. Excuse me. I sometimes use spanish words when I'm experiencing a strong feeling. Multilingual things. Cabrón means...

- Pendejo, fucker, asshole, I know. - that sudden cut-in brought Ari down back to earth quickly. She knitted her eyebrows. - I had an argentinian girlfriend who taught me a bit spanish. I can cuss just perfectly. - he tried to sound calm. He really did. But oh boy he was not. The way the emotions changed on Ari's face made him remember some of his past traumas, and that made him feel a lot of different things at the same time. And he was also furious at this asshole of an ex.

Ari sat down again. She breathed out to calm herself down. After a minute of frozen silence, the demon started to talk.

- This whole thing is fucked up, you know. The whole being told what to do and where to go and how to look... - said Beetlejuice in a low manner. His raspy voice sounded... sad? He cleared his throat, even though, being dead, he didn't have to, it just felt good. - I'll totally regret this, but since we're doing this overly honest heartfelt shit that I normally hate, and I'm very much irritated by it, let me tell ya... - he looked at Ari as his hair turned more purple. - I can relate to you. My mother did the same shit to me. She made me feel worthless, a piece of shit that didn't deserve any love. - he sighed and looked up at the moon. He chuckled a bit, his voice went back from soft to normal quickly. - Dear God slash Satan, your emotional bullshit is contagious, Ari. I gotta stop hanging out with you.

Ari smiled lightly.

- You couldn't. You love chilling with me. - the demon scretched his stubbles and let out a tiny laugh.

- True. I'm hooked on that fine ass of yours. - Ari laughed a bit. She looked where Beetlejuice's voice came from previously, and held out her hands.

- You know, I wouldn't really feel it, it won't exactly be a real hug, but if you want to... - Beetlejuice didn't let this opportunity go, he basically jumped into Ari's embrace instantly. He almost fell over her body, and he couldn't really wrap his hands around her, but being this close felt so good. Ari's body radiated so much heat and hearing her heart pitter-patter inside her chest made him forget how she didn't even see him. They both smiled. - Thanks for telling me a bit about your origin story. I know it's hard to talk about these kind of shits.

Beetlejuice let Ari go and sit back a bit, still staying close to the girl. She let her hands down.

- I'm only this honest with you cause you told shit to me too. - the demon lowered his raspy voice. - But if you tell anyone about my problems, even though we are bffffs forever, I'll skewer you like a pig. Understood? - Ari swallowed and blinked nervously while nodding. Beetlejuice continued like he didn't say anything threatening. - Anyway, I still don't know why do you hear me. Are we getting there soon? - Ari nodded again and rubbed her cheek.

- Yeah, sure, buckle up for the worse part of the ride, buddy. - she cleared her throat. - When the next day I went over to his place to break up with him and to tell him that I belong to no one, and he doesn't have the right to tell me what to do, he hit me. He slapped me so hard that my cheek ripped up a bit. - she pulled her hair back a bit, revealing a tiny scar on her left cheekbone. - The next day he called me, told me that he's sorry and he didn't want to hurt me. I hang up on him quickly and got a new number the same day. I wanted him gone. But it didn't take him much time to get my new number. He called me a thousand times. But since I didn't answer, he started to follow me. Watching from the street while I was at school. Creeping around the studio I sang at. - she sniffled as her eyes started to get teary, but she quickly wiped them with the sleeve of her cardigan - You know, I called the cops. I told them everything. And they told me they couldn't do anything until he hurts me. - she chuckled in an annoyed way. She fuckin chuckled. - They didn't have to wait for that for so long.

- WHAT?! - shouted Beetlejuice which made Ari jump a bit. He jumped up in anger, the tips of his hair shining in bright red. - THOSE GUYS SHOULD TAKE CARE OF PEOPLE, NOT TELL THEM TO "GET FUCKIN HURT THEN WE'LL TALK"?!? - he squatted down next to Ari. - Let me guess, that son of a bitch ex of yours caused those fuckin scars?!?

-...yes... - said Ari with bated breath. Beetlejuice scraffed his fluffy hair and unshaven face. - I was walking home late from a rehearsal, mom was at work, and when I was already at our street, he stepped up to me out of nowhere, started to tell me how he's gonna change and after I pushed him, and told him to leave me alone since I fuckin hate him and I don't belong to him... He said that if I don't wanna belong to him, then I'll belong to no-one. And he... - tears started running down her cheeks. - Stabbed me. Again. And again.

- THIS... MOTHER FUCKER... - he bit his fist and started to babble. - I mean yeah sure I kinda get it I'm a bit possessive too, also creepy, but I'm pretty sure he could get an another hot goth chick and...

- HE KILLED ME, MAN! - screamed Ari into the abyss. Beetlejuice froze in his movement.

- W...What? - Ari sat still, hands covering her mouth. Beetlejuice squatted down next to her again. - Babes did I hear that right? - she shut her eyes and sighed. She let her hands go and stared down from the roof.

- Yes. - she said. Her voice was so weak. - A neighbor saw what happened and called the ambulance. I got rushed into hospital and... I went under surgery. They had to remove a part of my intestines asap... They got damaged from the stabs... And while I was knocked out... My heart decided to give up on me. And I died.

Beetlejuice sat down at the brim of the roof. He was shocked.

- I... suppose that's why you have a fixation with death? - he asked calmly. Ari shrugged and lifted her hands up.

- Partly... Other than the fact I was born on Halloween so it's basically in my blood... I think what really caused my obsession is that I remember every goddamn second of being dead. I remember seeing my body, covered in blood, and as I realized what was going on, I started panicking about how much more I wanted to do and how young I was to die. - she sighed with a light, not so real smile. She sounded so damaged. The demon could hear the pain in her voice. - 🎶And so, being young and dipt in folly, I fell in love with melancholy.🎶 - she looked at Beetlejuice's direction after she wiped her tears off with a tissue. - I was dead for 4 minutes before they brought me back. More or less. Looks like that's why I hear you. Many folks who die and come back develop this... "ability" to see or hear creatures from other dimensions. My special power is to hear demons, as it turns out. - she looked at the demon's direction. - Good for you I winded up in this house.

- I'm so happy about that. I couldn't ask for a better breather partner in crime in my dreams. - Ari heard in his voice that he was smiling. Oh if she could see his lightpink hairtips too... - What happened after? - asked Beetlejuice. Ari lifted her eyebrows a bit. - I mean, I hope the fucker got what he deserved and someone killed him. - Ari bit his lips in frustration, and sighed.

- Not exactly... At least he didn't got what I think he would have deserved. - she stretched out her legs. - While I was in the hospital for 8 months, on full-time mental and physical therapy by the way, I filed a report against him and got him arrested. I was so relieved... Then I heard he only got 3 years. - she fumbled through her hair. - Seriously, he fuckin put someone in intensive care for months and all he got was a couple of years then adiós, go on your fuckin way my man?! - she let out an angry growl. - Just because, and I quote, "he was young and could have a bright future", yes, that's what the jury said... - she huffed. - But the good thing is, right after he got out, he violated the restraining order that I got against him. He came to the house that Sofi, Rei, my mom and I lived in. You know, they moved in with us after I got out of the hospital because... For the first 5 or six months, I was afraid to go out without company. So my sisters helped a lot. They even kind of made me forget how my friends left me, because "I was acting overdramatic and why couldn't I just forget and be happy". - Beetlejuice raised his eyebrows and shook his head.

- The fuck is wrong with people... - Ari let out an annoyed chuckle.

- Oh my man, most of them are awful fellas. After this, I didn't even care that I missed my prom. - she swallowed her saliva and leaned back so she could gaze the stars. - So yeah, back to the subject, that pendejo came to our house in the middle of the night and demanded my mom to take him to me cause he wanted to say sorry because he missed me so much and wanted us to start a new chapter. - Ari rubbed her temples. - The police acted quickly this time and put him into jail for 3 more years. - she sighed. - Not that I think that's enough... But it was enough for us to find a new home and move away from him, as far as we could.

Beetlejuice waddled closer to her, and layed down as well.

- You know what's the weirdest thing about you, scarecrow? - Ari chuckled.

- Besides the fact that my best buddy is a demon? - BJ laughed a bit too. - No idea, Bug.

- That you're so full of life, and so goddamn annoyingly positive. If you wouldn't tell me, I wouldn't know you had so much shit to deal with. - Ari put her hands up in the air while shrugging.

- Look, I already know how does it feel to die. By the time I turned 19, I decided I'd try how does it feel to be alive. And when I'm not a mess, oh boy, it's so much fun! - Beetlejuice turned to his side and looked at the girl.

- You’re not a mess babes, you’re a... spicy disaster! - Ari laughed. It was so nice to hear that adorable laugh again. BJ looked straight into her emerald eyes that were gleaming in the moonlight. - You know, doll, I'm really sorry for creeping around. If I would've known, I... - he shut up as Ari gestured with her hand.

- You didn't know. It's alright. I hate being followed, but you're so goddamn chatty that it doesn't feel creepy at all. Plus, you're not human, which makes me more comfortable. It's somehow nice to have you weirdo around.

For a couple of minutes, they just laid there, both watching the stars. It was so peaceful, but something still bugged Beetlejuice and he just couldn't let it go.

- Hey, babes? - Ari turned her head to his direction.

- Yeah?

- If he ever finds you, can I kill your ex-boyfriend?

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