#i dont want to kms but i also dont have it in me to live my life like this

[annadelveys]

always love it when i go through a Major Crisis but you wouldn't guess from the way i post <3 anyways I'm going through a Major Crisis

#will probably need to visit a crisis centre in the next couple of hours I'm just waiting for my mum to get here #its always like 'this cannot continue' and it always does and it always makes me feel shitty in the long run #i feel like im missing some kind of component that other people have #like i genuinely dont know how people manage to live life #when im on the verge of kms like every single day even when I'm 'happy' #i just want to die all the time #like thats not great 👍 #and unfortunately its hard for other people as well not just me #and i keep getting into these situations when others worry about me and idk what to say like 'dont worry' is a lie. but also like #i dont want them to worry #you see

[tallymali]

i know this is a terrible awful ungrateful thing to say. but i sincerely hate my illness for not being terminal.

#i no longer have days when i wish to continue living #i went through all the childhood trauma and the failed suicide attempts #and i worked my ass off in therapy to get to a point where my brain was not a terrible place to live #and i sincerely felt happy about living and having a future #and then this happened. #and i dont know if i will ever live normally again #theres a chance im just gonna spend the rest of my life trapped inside my house numb from pain #so like. for the people who ask when im gonna post on onlyfans/reddit/whatever again: i dont know #i know you’re not asking that in an unkind way #i know its a compliment #but i truly dont know if ill even still be alive in a years time #i dont want to kms but i also dont have it in me to live my life like this #so yeah my answer to everything is i dont know and idk if i ever will know #sorry this is fuckin grim.

[haemosexuality]

hm. in a way i know i am lucky slash privileged that my (probable) autism is mild/light/high-functioning/whatever the appropriate term is enough that it took me years to realize its autism, and that often the reaction to telling someone that i think i might be autistic is "what? but youre so normal! you were a normal child!". cuz like. some people have it way worse etc i can probably survive without help. but also i often wish that it wasnt and that it was severe enough that i got diagnosed early on (or at all). bc that would mean that at least ppl like, know why im Like this. that id know why im like this. that id get help. etc. ik this is like not actually what would have happened and that ppl who are "more autistic" get treated horribly but ig its kinda like that thing where ppl who werent traumatized in their childhood but are still fucked up wish they were actually traumatized so theyd have a justification for being like this (something i also feel). chipped cup wishing it was a broken cup. yk

#even more bc i have that ''can survive without help but damn would some help be good'' swag #like sure i can live like this it also makes me have attacks and want to kms tho #like i still. have symptoms. and need help. im just very good at pretending i dont. and not asking for it. yk? #realizing i am probably autistic made me realize just How Much i cant function sometimes. how much i repress and dont think ab #always have but before i called it (whips out a comedically long paper with a list in it) anxiety and depression and just being introverted #and being a bad person and being toxic and just being really into thinks and being naturally bad at having friends and being emotional and #having anger issues and being a irritable kid and being a shy kid and being immature and being mature for my age #and being a picky eater and being annoying and being dumb and being lazy and being a bad daughter and #anyways you get my gist #like how lucky am i that theres certain stuff i ''realized i could do'' after reading ab autism or behaviors that i repressed when theres #ppl thay cannot stop and have been treated horribly for it yk

[whsprings]

I love reading the notes doctors leave in mychart like buddy,, we never talked about that,,, and that other thing is just blatantly wrong,,, you clearly are really paying attention to me

#he said 'patient is unaware if they have lost weight but will check with primary care' #lmao i am actually a bit too aware thank you very much #cw// ed #also my brain is like 'you need to lose more weight for the next time you see him' #bitch WHY #that would literally just mean i have been nonconpliant in iop #and would then get sent to hloc #i dont want treatment i want to live my silly little life #no food jail for me #(but also why do i feel like this is all pointless and im going to fail anyway over and over and over again) #maybe i should. you know. kms. #cw// si

[be-good-to-bugs]

i need to go to bed but i dont wannnaaaaa

#the bin #i work at 7am and its 1:23 am i have GOT to go to bad but ugh. if i go to bed then that means ill have to go to work as sokn as im conscious #so the longer i stay up the more time i have. but km gonna be so tired at work. hhhhh. #i dont know why but ive felt so horrible today. super anxious. miserable and really sad #im trying to just deal with it. soon enough things are gonna change. its only 34 days till my planned moving date. i will only bave like 20 #more shifts at this job. maybe less depending on what i get given. including tomorrows shift. and tomorrows shift is only 5 hours long #and the day after its only 4 hours and then i have 2 more days off. itll be ok. but i still feel so anxious and depressed and awful #i just wanna stay home and be high all the time. i feel so lonely always. literally the only thing that helps me not feel completely crushed #and paralyzed by how lonely i am is getting high. i know its not healthy to rely on getting high to feel better about stuff but idk what #else to do so who cares. when i dont do anything about it i i stead end up relapsing or worse so i think its an ok option #i hope i can meet nice people this year. year after year it doesnt happen but so much has changed! #it makes sense i havent met people since i moved out. and everything is so different from wwhen i last lived with them #all my siblings are in school. they have people over at the hair a fair bit afaik. my dad wont be there to me make feel awful. my sister #also wont be there to me me feel awful. i can figure something out. itll be ok. it has to be. #i just want to squeeze someone. i just want like. a hug. a good cuddle. and i need to talk to someone. its been so long since u had an actul #fun time hanging out with another person. i need to watch a movie with someone and joke around and. ugh. #how did my life reach this point? what happened that resulted in me spending ages 10-19 all alone. im not even 19 yet but i will be soon #and theres not a chance ill meet someone before then esp bc im moving. when i was little i didnt have mych friends but i had some #i had such high hopes for the future. i also thought the future would be terrible but i imagined id still have friends and peopwl to talk to #all ive wanted sincei was 10 is just to have people to talk to and hangout with. but i dont have a single friend. i can hardky name anyone #besides my family and coworkers. and like aa couple of my sisters friends. there isnt even like people i know who i dont really consider #friends but we talk sometimes. if i dont go to work. call my mom. or tex a sibling. i dont see or talk to anyone period #i guess unless i go to the store. that doenst really count tho. #i want to have a friends group. i want to have A friends. just like. a person. to interact with. what happened that made mw spend the past #8 years just not interacting with anyone? whats wrong with me. #its fine tho. becausebit will change. i acan heal from this and i can meet people. even if half my conscious life has been spent all alone #it will get better. it has to.

[anervousmirrorball]

.

#suicidal ideation ftw #if it doesnt work out i will kms not giving myself any other chance #i am done #also ignore this #rant: i hate how i have to hide my diary #i hate how i have to something better #i hate im not enough #i hate that i lost all my potential and now i dont think i can get better at anything at all. #i hate that cry all the time. i hate that i was a good student #i hate how i got good grades and now im a failure and a disappointment #i hate how im wasting years of my life #but it doesnt matter cause i will have to die one day anyway. #i dont want to get married i dont want to gave kids i dont even want to do anything at all. #i hate how i feel like itd be best to hide whatever job i do from everyone who keeps asking me about my career #its fucking up with my brain so hard and i want to run away from it all i want yo run away from everyone and everything and start over #and i hate myself cause i dont want to hurt myself #i hate how i feel like i will never ever earn enough money to actually live the life i want. i will never overcome ny fear of life. #i hate how i feel so small and like i dont matter. i hate how i have not achieved a sungle thing in my life. I #i hate my face and i hate how i act around people #i hate that i am me and not someone better i hate not being other people who are doing so much better and have friends and have their career #figured out. i hate i am looking for jobs i probably wont like telling anyone about because i graduated in a completely different field that #pays welll to people who are skilled at it and i hate that i isolated myself for months and skipped classes vecayse i was scared and there #was no one to help me through it and that i had to continue like my life mattered. and i hate how i dont know why im still here #i hate that i am not better and i hate how i cant do a single thing without having a mentL breakdown over it and its still not enough #i hate how every other job im looking for doesnt pay as well as the thing i graduated in which makes telling someone about it even harder be #because they will look at me weirdly #i hate that i wasted years and years of my life not participating and thus not growing up like others did and everyone from my uni i know is #doing so much better and doing something in their life and im just here. #i hate how i cant hurt myself to make up for the things i dont do #i hate how i cant stop crying i hate how big of a crybaby i am and it just sucks i hate confronting i will agree with everyone and do things

[nomaishuttle]

I'm gonna be so open and honest with you guys right now i fucking rly dont want to go to work tomorrow .

#im violently nauseous rn and ik its judt bc ive been in a straining position and also i ate like 20 slimjins but like km only gonna get 5 #hours of sleep maximum im gonna have a headache im so tired of everything i wanna have a day off but i cant. Its only tuesday and im #already liek Please can we be done please no more this week all done all done #im so fucking sick of working i dont want to have to work for the next 40 years Minimum. i hate everythingbon earth #i dont understand how ppl work fulltime and have a life i only get 2 live At all on weekends #and even then its only 1 day saturday bc sunday is my Doing all my chores and stuff day #so i do all my laundry i tidy up the room Et cetera. i dont udnerstand how people can just do this forever #it genuinely feels like. bc i leave 4 work at 6am. i get home around 5pm. im supposed to go to bed. well technically i should go 2 bed at #9 to get a full 9 hours but look man . that would give me 4 hours a day to be a person #so my bedtime is officially 10 but usually i go to bed at 12 which means i dont get enough sleep which means as soon as i getnoff work the #next day im even less willing to do anything #+ doing anything fun fucking costs money if not the thing itself the travel expenses. and if i spend money i just have to work to make that #money back i fucking hate it. and im doing this for what. so that in 40 years i can retire and then 10 years after that oh no unforeseen #expenses or something suddenly my retirement isnt cutting it i have to go work at fucking walmart or something as a 70 year old judt to #make ends meet. god. And when the fuck am i supposed to have kids i want kids very badly one day but how the fuck am i supposed to have #kids if id only be able to spend Maximum 6 hours a day with them. thats if my work is like Doectly next door. #how. how. how. less than 6 hours even bc theyd go to bed before i did so rly like 3 hours a day with my theoretical kids Im an awful #theoretical parent and maybe my theoretical spouse works less hours so they can be home with the kids but they resent me for always being #at fucking work 9 hours a fucking day and they resent me for not being there for our theoretical kids Im sorry theoretical partner i want #to fucking be there but SOMEBODY has to put money into our theoretical savings account. UGH!!! #i hate work i hate it i hate it #i dont even hate my job i just hate that its my entire fucking life #i hate that i essentially get half a day every week thats truly mine that i get to do whatever i want. and in my current situation i barely #even fucking get that idk.

[toastsnaffler]

maaan i was having breakfast w my flatmate this morning and she'd already done all her jobhunting stuff for the day extra early so she can play videogames and im rly glad shes able to motivate herself like that but also seeing the steam popup notifying me shes playing smth makes me feel like the kid who didnt finish the work and has to stay in the classroom during break watching their friends play outside

#it takes me like. the entire day just to do a measly 2 applications #theyre not even that difficult i have all the component parts prewritten so i can just copy paste relevant things or whatever #like i probably only cumulatively spend an hour a day doing this shit. but my executive function is so fucking terrible #so it takes forever and ever just to get myself started on it and then i cant stay focused at ALL bc i fucking hate doing it #and it feels so pointless bc w jobs its abt the quantity of apps u send out. i have friends who churn out 30-40 a week minimum #and then they still only get like 2 interviews how the fuck am i ever gonna get a single 1 at this pace im already trying my hardest #its so embarrassing i feel like a complete fucking loser i hate having adhd i hate bending myself backwards for the most basic shit #and im disabled so theres some stuff i cant do/struggle with and everyones like yeah theyll discriminate against u bc of it that sucks #like ik i dont need to be told that!!!!!!!!! or theyll be rly patronising and tell me not to mention that shit im not fucking stupid #but also its kind of difficult to avoid it coming up when i cant even answer fucking phone calls bc im too fucking deaf #and then im so exhausted by the end of the day i have no energy left to do anything creative or fun i just have to sit down and cry #or sometimes i play videogames or smth but my attention span by then has dropped off completely so i cant even enjoy it #genuinely soulsucking shit. having a job would probably suck too but i dont think itd be half as bad as this. uni wasnt even this bad #psyching myself up every morning only to want to kms every evening. what a world we live in #whatever. whatever i need to pull my shit together and get smth done today. uhgdhfkjhdhfghkf. sorry for complaining on main #.diaries #.vent

[tasakesi]

okay im gonna be ranting a bit and there's nothing you can do about it.

basically two of our teachers are acting really off and being mean/angry with us for no apparent reason. going as far as to tell some of us that if we couldn't do our jobs to their standards, we must've chosen the wrong occupation to learn. one of our classmates got a snarky comment because she "cut kiwi the wrong way" and then later on she couldn't decorate a cake bc our teacher decided to do it herself. and she did such a lousy job we were surprised a TEACHER decorated it.. they also grade us by "putting on a blindfold on and just pressing random numbers", which is a joke but that's how it feels like. and now one of the teachers, after learning my classmate and her kids are covid positive, just told her to come to school anyways but not tell anyone. girl???

#you get random snarky comments and when i didnt have my voice i raised my hand and waved at her #she just looked at me and turned her back.. girl i had little to no voice im not fucking yelling #thete is also the issue that they pick favourites and those favourites can do whatever they want #whilst everyone else can't even experiment. we have our confectioner's exam next spring and we haven't really done the things we must do #to pass the exam.. bc mostly their favourites get to make them #everything is very hush hush when it ces to competitions bc me and 2 others are over the age of 20 and we MIGHT want to participate or god #forbid the others who might be a bit slower.. i get that teachers have their favs and idc but it's so in your face it really demotivates us #i dont want to go to practice tomorrow bc we have one of the aforementioned teachers teaching us and its gonna be a mess #i will start crying in front of them idc idc even better ill kms so their lives are changed forever #🪐 #forgot to say that those two are our mentors.. they are supposed to be on our side and support us throughout the 3 years we're here :|

[freesomebodybyluna]

...

#another rejection email yaaaaaa im gonna kms!!!!! xoxo love wins the earth is healing live laugh love!!!!! #anyways i emailed the design build place my bffs bro interned at this summer & he thinks i have a good chance so lets hope i get that #at least its my last hope #im gonna live in our neighboring uni town for that one & hopefully they dont care that i can drive lol......... #I just really dont want to take that devil studio again i feel like ive suffered enough the past 4 years & i especially went through it #this summer #im very tired but im gonna let myself hope one last time #*cant #the downside to living in our neighboring uni town is that obvi im not as comfortable w it as my uni town but its right next door #so ill be okie.......and it has the better downtown + target yaaaa im gonna have to figure out their bus system though.... #im prob gonna have to get a pass and i wont be able to use my school id like in my uni town 😭😭🔫 #anyways pray for me once again #wait also......im gonna take driving classes 🥲🔫 #yaaaaaa i love wasting my money!!!!! esp when its something my m*m couldve taught me but she hates me yaaaaa #dl

[blackboxwarrior]

Unexpected Debts Cleaned Me Out (thanks paypal) MOSTLY SETTLED

tldr; im 24, I have a 1700 dollar mortgage, an unknown amount in car repair bills(minumum 200, maximum i have to replace the car), and now nearly 600 dollars in debt because paypal wants me to kms myself. Im handing it on my own best I can and I'll be able to recover within a few months but without outside help the next few months are going to be rough- thus no goal, and whatever I get out of this will be put towards fixing the above problems.

Full story under the cut or dm me if you got questions. Dont feel guilty if you cant donate, if you have/want to trigger tag this, etc. Everything helps, well wishes are appreciated. This will, hopefully, only need to remain up in the 2 week pay period between today and 7/27 when my next paycheck comes in and I'll be able to handle my own shit more effectively.

Paypal @rragebound Raised 585/???

So I'm 24, living with my boyfriend, a housemate, and my terminally ill father. I work full time at a salon at the moment, and recently a few things happened.

First: My housemates car, and one of two main forms of transportation between myself him and my boyfriend had its radiator fan go out- or at least thats the running theory. That takes that vehicle completely out of commission.

Second: Paypal went against the settings I put down and continuously overdrafted a bank account I thought I removed. I can handle the money I knew I was spending, but every transaction also incurred a 37 dollar fee and its been like this since the beginning of june. Neither paypal nor the bank informed me of this. Cunts.

Third: I'm having to quit my job to pursue a new, better job. There is no transfer time, no time off, im going right from one into the other... but of course there has to be associated costs. New uniform, background check, etc.

Other issues earlier in this year have cleared out several thousand in emergency savings. If anything else goes wrong, my boyfriends car needs repairs, someone in the house gets sick or injured, we get an unexpected bill... IDFK what im gunna do. Im mostly just frustrated.

#if this doesnt make any sense im sorry

[safety-pin-punk]

Any good tips for any baby punks out there? I'm new to the scene and need some advice. Any advice for diy's/ideology/music/ect?

Hi!! Sorry its taken me so long to get to this, I’ve traveled about 1300 miles (aprox 2093 km) in the last 2 weeks

Tips for baby/puppy punks!! Yes! I have a lot of those, but I’ll summarize into the important ones:

The absolute most important thing I can tell you is to develop critical thinking skills (if you don’t already have them). Dont just hop on a bandwagon because all the other punks are doing it. Take the time to learn and form your own opinions on something

The second most important thing I can tell you is to always take advice/criticism with a grain of salt (this applies to things outside of alternative sub cultures as well). People will tell you things. Sometimes they are lying or dont know any better. Sometimes their advice will work for one person but not another. For example, a lot of people say if you dont dress the part, you arent punk. However, sometimes it takes a while to build up an alternative closet. Sometimes people live in an area where it may not be safe to wear their opinions on their sleeves (especially minors). Sometimes people just like the color pink and thats *fine*. This mindset can be applied to literally everything. Just do what works for you

That leads nicely into my 3rd point, you dont have to dress or look a certain way OR listen to certain bands to be punk. Anyone who says otherwise is a poser. That being said, it’s generally accepted that you shouldnt wear shirts or patches for bands you’ve never even heard of (no one can stop you but you might be labeled a poser)

Advice specifically for diy: watch videos, if you want to learn how to make a specific thing there is 100% a video somewhere on it. Also, ask people. If someone has something really cool and you want to learn how they made it, go talk to them (assuming its not some dark alley). Some materials you might want to start collecting are can tabs, bottle caps, and safety pins

Music advice that I will die by: You dont have to listen to punk music to be punk. Sure, its an important part of the subculture, but not the only part. Its more important to learn about punk values than headbang until your neck snaps

Thats all I can think of off the top of my head, but if you have more specific questions please feel free to send in more asks or DM me!!

#punk #punk culture #puppy punk #baby punk #punx #punk advice #mail tag

[goth-oatmilk-latte]

not my endometriosis absolutely leaving my obliterated after getting fucked yesterday

love living in a state where i can barely get my birth control/hormones for managing it, since all the additional growth from it has left me (happily!!!) infertile, but theyll be damned if they let me get a hysterectomy bc "what if your husband decides he wants kids?" (i dont have one and if i did, itd have to be mutual, but also store-bought is fine????) "sometimes a pregnancy can reverse endometriosis" (okay but yall have told me itd be life threatening bc id hemorrhage from it basically ripping my insides open from breaking the extra growth?????) "a lot of women change their mind and want to have kids" (im not them thanks, id rather kms than ever destroy my body for a disgusting pregnancy, much less a baby, which im repulsed by as is; i have zero maternal drive)

[arinavah]

hi arina! how are u doing? i've read your life update before about how you may not be able to do art stuffs due to life circumstances, seeing you open your shop now really brightens my heart! i'm also an artist in a kind of tough situation where i dont have much choice and might have to give up drawing or have difficulty continuing. im wondering how you got thru it? your art updates give me strength and hope! but if u dont feel like sharing, i totally understand. hoping you best and thank you!!

I'm sorry I'm answering this so late, talking about my current life always ruins my mood. (this will be a long whining post, I'm very upset right now so I need to speak out)

Probably we are in different situations, unlike you, drawing is the only thing I can do now. I've  mentioned here before that my grandma had a stroke this summer, my parents live in another city, they come here from time to time. Me and grandma live in Moscow, sooooo, generally, disabled grandma is MY responsibility most of the time. Even though she's making some slow progress in recovering, she's still mostly bed ridden, she can't take care of herself, she can't get up from the bed without help, she barely walks, etc., etc. So we can't leave her alone, and taking care about such helpless person, 24/7 IS HARD. She can wake us up several times at night to go to toilet or whatever, during the day she always wants something and we have to serve her, it really exhaustes me. (I half jokingly say that I unexpectedly became mother of 76 y.o. child, but I've always been child-free, so guess what I'm feeling right now)

Good news: I have some time to draw. To be honest drawing is the only sphere of my life I still can control, it's the only thing bringing me joy. And thankfully some people buy my merch so I can earn some money even in these circumstanses.

Bad news: I lost all freedom I'd had, I can't go anywhere without hiring nurse, I have much less time for work and drawing, I can't properly relax after long day, in fact I can NEVER relax, I can't meet with friends, I can't travel, I have to cancel work trips. Even simple mandane things became very difficult and even impossible because of all these restrictions. I can't find proper words to describe how those restrictions of my freedom make me depressed and devastated, right now my mental health is the worst it's ever been. I cry almost every day, I became hysterical and agressive, I hate my life so much, that the mere thought of spending the rest of my youth living my family's life, not MY OWN LIFE makes me want to kms. At the moment I control nothing in my life, I can't decide where to live, what to do, where to go, absolutely nothing. Probably I will never find a partner, because dating in these life contitions is impossible. Probably I will die alone without any love and friends. Maybe my only destiny is to take care of disabled person.

I'm trying to accept the fact that my life's ended, that I won't have any freedom and any new people around me till she passes away or till one of my parents will take full charge of taking care of her (it will happen in 5 years or so, they have work to finish in another city).

I spend my days solving my family's problems, my grandma's health problems, selling some merch to earn money and drawing some silly things just to ✨feel something✨.  So me being able to draw something in difficult circumstanses is not some heroic thing, I'm not overcoming myself to make art desprite everything, what I'm doing is just...escapism... I want to get lost in my little drawings or in little stories for some time to forget about everything bothering me. Honestly, I'm very happy that I haven't lost ability to draw after everything happened to me this year.

Guys.... sorry for whining, but 2022 ruined my mental state completely... Political situation (fucking Russia 💀💀💀), family situation, I just feel so much hatered for this world, for this universe where none of my dreams will ever come true, where I control nothing, where I have to live someone else's life, where I have no freedom, where I have to be silent, where I have to look at my government's crimes and be silent, where I can't  plan anything, where I can't love who I want (yesterday they accepted "lgbt propaganda" ban law), where I have to live the rest of my life in the country I hate, with a government I hate, isolated, lonely, constricted, attached to disabled person.

My parents keep telling me it's temporary, they don't want me to be a nurse for the rest of my life, everything is gonna be okay, they will solve everything. I don't believe them. Maybe I'm overdramatising, maybe if I get a therapy I'll feel better and less pessimistic about my future, but for now... I feel terrible. So, if drawing makes me feel a little bit better, then I'll continue to draw.

#Ask #Sorry for whining

[smash-or-pass-tron]

Welcome to TRON smash or pass!

This is a smash or pass poll blog dedicated to the TRON franchise. It is run by @jet-bradley.

I won't be directly posting NSFW content, but I can't control what happens in the notes. If that type of content disturbs you, don't open the notes.

Guidelines (subject to change):

Don't submit kids. This isn't a common issue in TRON, but I wanted to make that clear.

I've got a list of characters that have been posted here. Try to avoid duplicates, no worries if mistakes get made though. With that said, you can submit the same character many times if it's different appearances (e.g. 1982 Tron vs. Rinzler vs. Uprising Tron).

Please format all posts to contain:

An image of the character

Their name

Which media they're from in the image you used*

A poll with the only options as "smash" or "pass" (no results option)

Tags containing the media they're from*

*If you don't know which Tron they're from, I can handle it. If they're from something not on the list, let me know in the post and I'll add the tag.

I'll worry about character tags.

The "things that get you blocked" list:

Trying to draw political metaphors from the polls and/or their results (e.g. "this reminds me of the 2016 USA election")

Being rude enough about the results of a poll that it ruins it for everyone else

Threatening harm/doxxing/death to yourself or another user in my notes (e.g. "i'm going to kms if yall dont vote 'smash'")

Which are (almost) all things I experienced in my short-lived time as a Tumblr Bracket Mod. This is also subject to change if someone is awful enough, but please don't give me a reason to expand this list!

#tsop housekeeping #tronblr

[lotus-pear]

GOD I LOVE KNKDZ SM I wanna hold them and treasure them like literally they could be so precious they have so much potential and ik we have to wait a few more months but I'm sooo fuckin excited to see if they have a reunion if they don't I'll probs cry from stress or smth like even if someone doesn't ship it they're partners istg they are soo important and I hope we can see more of them in action cuz kunikida has been crying (canon) from stress and trying to bring shit together, like he was really working on gathering the members together again and like poor bby I feel so bad he needs a warm hug, also I feel like getting your hands cut off and your ideals crumbling in front of you was traumatic like he's ok now physically but I feel so bad and dazai is being fucking shot and falling of an elevator while defeating fyodor and walking it all of like ??? I need a sick fic with knkdz and the ada in general he deserves that and I hope so fucking sooo FUCKING much that they get a fuckin reunion like this is all I can talk and think abt now I keep repeating myself, I hope atsushi, dazai and kunikida get one bc I miss their trio so idk what is happening now that s5 is over and the Manga is catching up in a few months bc we saw that they're fighting again like oh fuck ngl I hope dazai gets hurt more so more sickfics or maybe Canon sickfics like in it actually fucking happens in the series but whatever in the end I want the ada to be safe again and destress a little bc oh my god this was their biggest fucking mission in their life and its been going on practically since the guild but whatever I have so so so so so so high hopes for the future and the rise of knkdz (I also ship skk but knkdz is my no. 1 and need way more of them) I hope knkdz will rise and conquer we have to get our fucking game up us knkdz advocates we have a DUTY anyways love ya ur so hot for that knkdz vs skk rant its fucking unfair pls pls pls pls post more knkdz I'm going feral its my last will to live I will kms if the Manga doesn't have them I will defenestrate asagiri I will find him trust me I fucking will anyways anywho anyfuckingway thank you for being a part of the knkdz cult we can soo win we just have to wait for asagiri and like OMG I just had SUCH a dopamine rush like I practically almost jumped bc IM SO EXCITED to see them YOU DONT UNDERSTAND I LOVE THEM SO MUCH PLS PLS PLS ASAGIRI PLS DONT DO THIS TO ME I CAN HEAR THEM I CANNN HEAAAAAR THEM PLS PLS PLS DONT PUNISH ME I WANT MORE KNKDZ I WILL FUCKING COMBUST anyways ur so cool and ur art is fuckin awesome have a great day and new year hopefully full with happiness, success, change, and kunikidazai

REAL OMFG‼️‼️ bitches forget that kunikida has been partnered with dazai for two entire years, only one less year than dazai’s partnership w chuuya (before ur like noooo it was seven!!!!! that doesn’t count. chuuya and dazai met at fifteen and didn’t even get partnered that year. it was only during the events of stormbringer when mori realized the only counter to chuuyas corruption was dazai’s ability and he made them go on missions together like they did during the arahabaki incident and they became known as double black. dazai left the mafia when he was eighteen due to oda’s death)

anyway knkdz have also had to trust each other with their lives time and time again and kunikida values this trust more than anything, always relying on dazai even if dazai pisses him the fuck off. dazai says himself that the ada is home to him when talking abt it to sigma, AND WHAT IS HOME BUT A PLACE FILLED WITH HAPPINESS AND THOSE WHOM YOU LOVE DEARLY AND WOULD DO ANYTHING TO PROTECT

#asigiri please let them have a soft moment when the reunite…please😭 #ik they miss each other a lot even if they won’t admit it #dazai literally saying sigma is a substitute for kuni and then proceeding to ballroom dance and prank him just like he would in the ada #he wants his husband back so bad lmao #they should honestly makeout when they see each other again. it won’t even deter from canon #like it’ll be fully in character #lotus’s asks