#i even managed to match their outfits to their jaeger!!

[squadrah]

what are la squadra wearing for halloween when they're hitting the town?

Thank you for bailing me out, now's my chance to deliver late Halloween fun times! :D I'm actually going to go a number of ways here - I'm going to remind everyone of their costumes as depicted by that one official artist, and then add some of my own ideas!

Okay, so here's the art (had to hunt it down manually and scroll for half an hour but it was totally worth it):

And now I can give some of my own ideas!

Risotto:

Random costume: I feel like he's the perfect candidate for dressing as a Cenobite, since Metallica can help with any of the metal "accessories" like the nails on Pinhead.

Sexy option: I would love for him to dress up as a Pillar Man. Not even one of the few we know, just a generic interpretation of one.

Mundane Halloween option: "Man helping others reach the tall shelves at the supermarket"

Formaggio:

Random costume: I think he should dress up as a leprechaun, go to a party, and gradually shrink as people are getting drunk to mess with them. Bonus if he has a pot of "gold" to lead people to.

Sexy option: I feel like he should do us all a favor and take a crack at Margot Robbie's Harley Quinn.

Mundane Halloween option: "A guy who's dissatisfied with his haircut but cannot bring himself to tell the barber"

Prosciutto:

Random costume: This is too much in the vein of the art above, but I feel like he would make a really good Lestat from Interview With A Vampire; it's just an iconic and elegant look.

Sexy option: I want him to do the world a favor and go as Marilyn Monroe in that one white dress. You know the one.

Mundane Halloween option: "Project manager losing his mind over a tight deadline" / "Old man inspecting construction work"

Pesci:

Random costume: My first thought was that something like Conan the Barbarian would look good on him - just an excuse to really try on a different fur trim and show off his guns.

Sexy option: The random option is already halfway there, but he can't go wrong with a scantily clad wrestling outfit.

Mundane Halloween option: "A guy who had his order mixed up at the fast food place"

Ghiaccio:

Random costume: I envy him because White Album could technically make him an armored costume so he could go as a Pacific Rim Jaeger pilot if he wanted to and that's just magical to me.

Sexy option: Best option is probably dressing as a beach guard because he can flex if there's a pool.

Mundane Halloween option: "Jogger waiting in line at the store to buy mineral water"

Melone:

Random costume: This is such a random thought indeed but what if he went as a member of Daft Punk with a cool custom helmet that could emote for him (powered by Baby Face, perhaps.)

Sexy option: I feel like he deserves a slutty teacher costume and a hand pointer to brandish at people.

Mundane Halloween option: "A guy trying to dye streaks into his own hair at home"

Illuso:

Random costume: For him I would love something iconic like the Goblin King from Labyrinth (his Stand actually reminds me of the armored goblins from the movie.)

Sexy option: He would absolutely rock a Playboy Bunny outfit complete with high heels and his hair down.

Mundane Halloween option: "A guy who can't remember which pocket he put his keys in"

Sorbet and Gelato:

Lumping them together because they would want to match.

Random costume: I will die on this hill - they should go as Morticia and Gomez Addams, respectively, because I think they possess the energy required and it gives them leave to make out in public.

Sexy option: Imagine them dressing up as an extremely hetero couple from a romance novel cover and posing for pictures.

Mundane Halloween option: "Two guys who collided and spilled their drinks on each other"

#jjba #la squadra #risotto nero #formaggio #prosciutto #pesci #ghiaccio #melone #illuso #sorbet #gelato #squadrah headcanons #squadrah original #mannn this was fun i can't believe i had so few halloween things before

[bukojuiice]

the wedding booth  — eren jaeger

ೃ pairing: (eren jaeger x  fem! reader)

ೃ after being unwillingly dragged to plan and create a wedding booth for your first university festival, eren accompanies you to a bridal boutique. there, he contemplates about the future and all of the cheesy romantic stuff he wants to do with you.

ೃ genre and warnings: college au, lots and lots of fluff!

ೃ  my nav  →  my aot masterlist

ೃ 1k words

My Big Fat Greek Wedding, My Best Friend's Wedding, The Wedding Planner, Wedding Crashers... hell, even Mamma Mia.

If having to be forced to watch these romantic comedies about weddings doesn't give you the sudden urge to get hitched and run away to some tropical island, then you don't know what will.

For your very first uni fair at Shigashina University, your friends had proposed a Marriage booth. To be more specific, three of your friends did. Jean, Sasha, and Connie are the masterminds behind this stupid idea and it's all because of three things:

1. Jean is pining over Mikasa so so bad. So many years have passed and yet he still hasn't found a way to confess. And so, due to his pompous ass binge-watching stupid rom-coms recently, he thinks that if "fake dating" can bring two people together, then having a fake wedding with his unrequited crush of 12 years could finally make her fall for him too. He wants the booth to be as iconic as a wedding straight out of Las Vegas. Problem is, he's never been to Las Vegas, and his terribly unrealistic basis for wanting it to be as iconic as a "Las Vegas Wedding" is that one scene from The Hangover and that episode from Friends.

He was delusional and yet, he wanted to push through with this proposal no matter what. Nothing was going to stop him... not unless it was one of the three seniors whom you would be proposing this project to in the first place.

2. Sasha's goals are much normal. A bit odd, but still normal and not as desperate as Jean's. All she wants is to get Ymir, the captain of the school's soccer team to confess to Historia, the freshman Bio-Chemistry student who works part-time as a library assistant (and whom everyone secretly fawns over for. she's just that damn cute.) However, the real reason as to why she helped [rp[pse this stupid marriage booth to get them to finally confess to each other is anyone's guess.

3. Connie thinks he's gonna get clout from this. Rise up the university hierarchy perhaps? He's treating the entire festival like it's high school all over again. He prays that the marriage booth will become the hottest thing in the festival, then he'll instantly become that cool and bad-ass freshie whom everyone wants to be friends with. Either way, if the booth is going to be a success or not, you know for a fact he's never going to be a part of the "cool kids" (good lord, can you believe people still use that term in college?) and he's gonna be stuck with you and your other friends for the rest of the years to come.

It didn't take long before they finally finished their elaborate PowerPoint Presentation (despite Connie insisting that Powerpoint is boring) that they were going to pitch to three of the principal members of the student council. Namely, Erwin Smith, Levi Ackerman, and Hange Zoe.

It was gonna be an automatic no for Levi, obviously. Nothing could ever get past that man. But if they can somehow convince Erwin and most especially Hange to get on board with their stupid scheme, then the booth was good to go.

Now, here you are, in a bridal boutique. Purchasing some simple wedding dresses that will serve as your rent-a-dress service for the Marriage booth.

It wasn't originally a part of the plan. Not at all.

However, Hange would only approve of the project IF the wedding booth was going to be made into something more elaborate and memorable. They didn't want something as simple as printing out fake marriage contracts, cheap tulle fabric wedding veils, fake plastic bouquets, and wedding pictures that came out of a polaroid camera.

Oh no no no. They wanted it to be extravagant. The cream of the crop. The absolute bomb. The best booth at the festival.

Hange saw potential in the idea and with an approved budget by the student council, you could make anyone's wedding dreams come true.

 Fast forward to a week before the event, you are currently on a shopping spree with Armin, Mikasa, and your boyfriend, Eren (because Sasha insisted he had the right proportions for the rental groom outfits. She totally did not ask him to come along so that he can see you try on wedding gowns.) to buy supplies, props, decorations, and everything else needed.

"(Y/N), we'll meet you and Eren at the bridal boutique, okay?" Armin proclaims, looking at the time on his wristwatch and struggling to balance the shopping bags on his other hand.  Mikasa notices how much he's been struggling and offers to hold the bags for him.

"Sure! Don't forget about the list that Jean sent!" You shout back, turning to Eren as his fingers interlace with yours, making your merry way to the boutique whilst Armin and Mikasa go off the other direction.

"Don't get too excited." You joke, nudging Eren on the arm. "I'll just be trying on these dresses for the booth."

There's a particular glimmer in Eren's emerald eyes, chuckling at your quip. "Sheesh. Did you really have to remind me? Of course I know that. Besides, we're too young to even think about marriage right now. What's important is that I'm spending the best years of my life with you."

"Eren Grisha Jaeger, it is too damn early for you to make me a blushing pile of mess with your flirty comebacks." You deadpan, the heat rising up your cheeks as you try to hide your embarrassment from him.

The both of you laugh it off, shuffling into the store. The chiming bells of the shop door echo around the area as you look in awe at the luxurious dresses occupying every available space. The wafting smell of a vanilla pinecone scent and the soft sound of a sewing machine doing its work. There was a homey and rustic feel to this boutique that made you feel like you were sent back in time.

From great flouncy pieces adorned in layers of lace that rolled like ocean waves to more humble designs, albeit of the finest cloth.

This plethora of finery- reminds you strongly of the many genteel ladies depicted in those books and historic romances you used to read and watch. Like that of Pride and Prejudice or Sense and Sensibility.

Having the opportunity to enter a boutique such as this was a dream.

"Welcome! May I help you find anything?" A seamstress appears from the register. She looks at you from head to toe, as if trying to guess your measurements.

"W-we're looking for wedding dresses. Anything within the 200 to 300 dollar range? We don't need anything extra fancy, though! We'll just be needing them-"

Her eyes shift from you to Eren like she's suddenly a love coach, sizing the two of you up. "Yes, yes, young love! How sweet!" She chirps, breathing out a dreamy sigh. "Of course! For couples on a tight budget, we have-"

"We're looking for wedding dresses that can be used as costumes! Not too short and not too long either. W-we're not getting married or anything." You dismiss the seamstress with a wave of your hand. "I'm sorry if you thought of it that way..."

Although her shoulders visibly drop, the saleswoman still manages to smile. "Oh! I would like to apologize for assuming anything too!"

"Actually, mam, we do have plans sometime in the future." Eren grins cheekily, pulling you close to him. "Not today, of course, but we'll make sure to drop by in a few years!"

The saleslady's eyes lit up at Eren's vow. "Over here are some of our best-selling pieces! Ones that will certainly attract the eye of any groom!" She beckons you over to some mannequins lined up in the middle of the store, your gaze is drawn to the myriad of dresses on display as you walk throughout the space.

You turn back to Eren, studying him closely as he walks a few paces behind you, you thoughtfully wonder if the dresses you would pick out would match his taste.

She leads you to the back of the store to show the other garments and dresses embroidered with simplicity and yet elegance. You then pick two gowns up from their respective racks, satisfied with your purchase and making a beeline to the register to pay. However, the seamstress stops you from your tracks.

"How about this one, dear?"

You turn your attention to her, doe-eyed and curious as to what she was going to show you next.

"It is indeed a wedding dress, although not what you had asked for, the handsome young man did say something about your marriage plans. Perhaps this might help you visualize it? Give you an idea for the future, hm?" She hums wistfully, drawing your attention to the mannequin she placed in front of you. "It would be a shame if you left the boutique without trying anything on."

"(Y/N)?" You hear Eren's husky voice call out for you from the front of the store, "Armin just texted me. They can't find a specific prop in the crafts store so we might have to wait a bit longer for them."

"Okay! We can spare more time in the boutique, anyways." You answer back,  before turning your attention to the seamstress once more.

"Alright. I think I'll try it on then."

"Trying it on" turned out to be more than you had imagined. You thought you could just slip inside the dress and show it off. But nope. You needed a few adjustments to dress, adornments in your hair, and had to wear a wedding veil.

It was almost as if you were actually preparing to be wed.

"Good sir, your lovely missus is ready!" Yup, even the words of the seamstress made you feel like you were living in the 17th century right now. Did she really have to use such fancy words?

"Please, watch your step." The seamstress takes your hand and leads you out of the dressing room and right towards—

Eren who had been waiting in the shop proper.

"Doesn't she look beautiful?" She giggles, glancing at Eren for a response. "Well, I'll leave the two of you here first and bring the dresses you've chosen to the cash register first." In a wink, she's gone and had disappeared into the back almost before the words left her mouth.

The unfamiliar yet elegant garb makes you feel shy and the fact that Eren was gaping at you did not help at all. He was absolutely entranced by your beauty.

You unconsciously lower your head, tucking a strand of hair beneath your ear, unable to bear the thought.

"God, you're not just beautiful. Y-you look breathtaking."

He says in a barely audible whisper, pulling you to him once more.

Placing his hands on your waist, Eren plants a soft, tender kiss on your chest, the low-cut dress affording it easily. In a heartbeat, you feel your cheeks grow hot.

"Heh. Guess I got you again." He grins wolfishly, still admiring your beauty and tracing circles on the back of your hand. "I-I don't deserve you... I really don't."

"If you didn't deserve me, would you be here right now?" You say jokingly, raising your eyebrow.

"I mean it." He buries his face on the hem of your dress, his voice is muffled and soothing. "I can't believe you chose to love me." He looks up at you, eyes practically welling up with tears. "God, I honestly can't believe I'm crying right now, but, yeah... I am. That's how much I love you and how much I want to marry you right now."

You giggle at the expression your boyfriend has shown before you, stroking his hair and burying your fingers into his long brunette locks. "I love you too. But... why so sudden? You already told the saleswoman that we'll be back in a few years. She'd be surprised to hear you change your mind so easily."

"Well, if that's the case, then I better tell Jean to have us first on the list of the wedding booth then. We worked our asses off for this, might as well be the first to be blessed with the luck of that stupid booth."

You giggle once more as he continues to hold you so close. You feel his breath and his heartbeat. Each exhale and pulse brings you to the realization that Eren is the one. The man you want to be with for the rest of your life. The man who will help you through all your faults and mistakes, your burdens and troubles, through all the ups and downs... he will be there.

Just as you will be for him.

Guess those stupid movies centered around weddings weren’t so bad after all

.taglist: @crapimahuman​

#snk x reader #aot x reader #eren jaeger fluff #eren jaeger x reader #eren x reader #aot #attack on titan #attack on titan x reader #shingeki no kyojin x reader #eren fluff #eren x y/n

[bluebellhairpin]

Be My Valentine?

Attack on Titan X Reader

A/N: Look at y’all, giving me a sweet tooth. A few days too early too. I wrote this like a week ago. - Nemo

Warnings: A little suggestive. Much Fluff. Modern AU. 

Listening to: ‘That’s What I Like’ by Bruno Mars (slowed) - ‘You deserve it baby, you deserve it all.’ 

Masterlist

Armin Arlert 

He is so organized, and no I’m not meaning he remembers to buy chocolates, flowers or a stuffed bear - no no no, to Armin that is not acceptable.

To Armin those are things he does every day. 

So you can bet your lovable ass that you have a much better Valentines Day than anyone else you know. 

He even manages to top it every year.

Once, he rented a penthouse for the night just because - tbh he probably said something dumb like ‘you deserve this and more’. (okay not that dumb, I’m just upset because no one will ever do that for me.) 

He had to save up for like, two years to do it though. 

Baby boy just wants to show his appreciation.

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Erwin Smith

He’s less organized than Armin, but he does have more money, and he is 100 per cent not afraid to ask for help. 

But like he’s an old fashioned guy.

Dinner, red roses, mayhaps a night in afterwards *wink wink*

But deadass this guy just makes it seem so special every time? Like you did it last year and you know you’ll do it again? But it’s so exciting anyway? 

Def feeds you the choccy strawberries. Or chicky nuggies. Whichever. He don’t care as long as his beloved is happy. 

Probably has a new item of jewelry bought a week in advance. Even if you don’t usually wear it, just do it for that night and he’ll be satisfied. 

He like’s buying you stuff, and he likes seeing you with/wearing the stuff he buys.

Dunno why, some shady possessive stuff probably, but who are we to complain? 

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Levi Ackerman

Smh. 

Man’s does not care.

At all.

‘Valentines? Who is that?’ 

But seriously, the only reason he doesn’t care is because he think’s ‘it’s dumb that we only have one day in the whole year to show our love for that one person when it should happen all the time.’ 

If he see’s a particularly nice bouquet or a brand of sweets you like that’s around during this time of year - however - he will get it for you. 

Because he knows you like whatever it was.

And if you do like Valentines day, he will do something for you on that day. 

He doesn’t think his opinions should always be yours and vice versa. 

But don’t catch him browsing the valentines themed isle in the grocery store otherwise you’ll get beat. 

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Reiner Braun

nEVER forgets. Ever. 

There are three dates set into his brain and he forgets everything else.

1. Your B-day. 2. Your Anniversary. And 3. Valentines Day. 

Bed’s covered in the petals of your favorite flowers. There’s matching bouquet’s in every room. 

Music’s playin’ as soon as you walk in, he’s standing there in that outfit he knows you like. Favorite dinner and drinks all set out. JUst walking home to that is *chefs kiss* ahhhhhh

But make sure you get something for him. 

The way he melts that you got him something? Even if it’s little, he will grab you and not let you go for like half and hour. 

Please return the favor. Hold him this night. Do not let go. Hold him tighter and tighter and he will not stop saying how much he loves you.

Even as he starts to fall asleep he will keep telling you. 

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Zeke Jaeger

Probably takes you on an overnight trip somewhere way too expensive and acts like it’s nothing. 

‘Zeke, this is a private jet.’ - ‘And?’ - ‘It’s going to Paris Zeke.’ - ‘Yeah? That’s like the whole point?’ 

Mans sees no problem spending a minor fortune on one night’s worth of activates and items. 

Goes all-out and is not afraid to do so. 

Will have you dress-up all nice and take you out on his arm to go to dinner. He’s trying to show you off. Like ‘look at this beauty I scored. You wish you were me.’ and I think that’s very in-character of him. 

Like legitimately the most fancy thing you ever wanted to - he’ll have it. 

Ball gown? Slim shimmery red-carpet dress? A suit that matches his that you pull off so much better than him? 

Shows his love through gift-giving, so just let him do what he gotta do. 

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Jean Kirstein 

He’s another classic roses, chocolates, and teddy bears guy. 

There’ll be a few times where the date creeps up and catches him off-guard, but he’ll always go out of his way to make sure he doesn’t see you empty-handed. 

Yes, that has once meant he rocked up to your door with a handful of flowers that were definitely from your neighbors front yard. 

You do also have one section of your bookshelf designated to stuffed animals he’s gotten you for valentines day. Yeah, not just bears. There’s a llama, lizard, and a bigfoot also. 

More like ‘at least’.

ALWAYS WRITES A NOTE OR CARD - depending on how much time is left - AND IT’S NOT JUST REALLY CUTE AND ROMANTIC BUt he draws a little mini him and you in the corner holding hands. 

Jean write me a valentines note plz, I’m so lonely and I love you.

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Connie Springer

Dumbass never remembers.

And if you don’t remember either then oh well. Guess a midnight Macca’s run is in order.

Yeah, he CAN make McDonalds romantic. Don’t think so? Fite me.

But then he feels bad, so he ducks into the closest open store and buYS YOU A RING POP -

‘Sweetie, I got you something?’ - ‘Yeah, what?’ - ‘A new cushion because dat ass keeps ruining all mine.’ ‘A ring, I hope you like it uwu.’

OFC YOU LIKE IT HOW CAN YOU NOT?

tbh if you rock up three days later - candy eaten - but still wearing the ring part he’ll start bawling. 

He ends up getting you a real ring a little later - a muther fooken PROMICE RING. OF aLL thingS. So yeah, He does top every single other person on this list. Don’t @ me. 

You still keep that ring pop tho. Cherish it forever. 

#armin arlert headcanons #erwin smith headcanons #levi ackerman headcanons #reiner braun headcanons #zeke jaeger headcanons #jean kirstein headcanons #connie springer headcanons

[hermannsthumb]

Gonna request some camb0y newt who has Hermann as a regular follower who may or may not be requesting used clothing from Newt...😳

this one is less h0rny and more dumb and I died every time I typed newt’s screen name but (ALSO THE FACT THAT TUMBLR KEPT BLOCKING THIS MESSAGE....unbelievable) 18+/not sfw below cut

-------------------

The whole thing only started because of the kaijus.

It seems foolish to place the blame on them, considering the severity of the damage they’ve caused in every other aspect of life, but it’s the truth. Hermann was never brilliant at romance even in the best of times; he never knew quite the right words to say, or quite the right way to kiss, and certainly not how to keep men interested enough to come back for more than a date or two. Then the end of the world came, and the jaeger program ate up what little free time Hermann had, and dating simply fell to the very lowest tier of his priorities. He had work to do. He had lives to save.

Unfortunately, his libido continued to run rampant.

Masturbation could only get one so far, though Hermann was undeterred and tried almost anything: dildos, vibrators, expensive lubricant, a paid subscription to a high-quality pornography website. He cancelled this after a week, when he realized none of its featured men--though undeniably good-looking--fit his particular area of interest. Besides, it was far too impersonal. Hermann did not like spending half of his time watching a video or scrolling through a photo gallery wondering what that man was doing now, or whether or not he’d enjoyed himself, or what he was like in person... In a fit of desperation, Hermann picked up a subscription to another website that promised live men 24/7. And, well. To make a long story short, Hermann is pretty sure he’s in love.

The object of his affections is twenty-something and stocky, a good few inches shorter than Hermann (he’d wager, anyway), with a chestful of tattoos and a voice that’s almost high enough to be grating. Hermann has seen his face only fleetingly, but it’s enough for him to know it’s a highly agreeable one. He’s got a nice sense of humor, seems intelligent enough, and the glimpses Hermann’s caught of the bedroom he streams from (at the perfect time of day, late enough that Hermann’s inhibitions are entirely nonexistent) indicate a healthy love of science fiction. 

Hermann is mostly in love with him because of how good of a show he puts on, though. Where Hermann fails in his use of dildos or vibrators and other nonsense, the man succeeds, and indeed excels, and he’s endlessly creative with dressing in lace and other funny little costumes. It makes for some very inspired jerking off on Hermann’s end. More importantly, it makes for a calming of his libido.

Hermann doesn’t know his real name, only his chosen screen name, though it doesn’t really matter: kaijulover69 is most certainly the man of his dreams.

Well. Nobody’s perfect.

“Tonight’s stream is dedicated to a very special fan for all his support,” kaijulover69 begins. He’s wrapped in a bathrobe, though Hermann has a feeling he knows what’s beneath it, and he flushes pleasantly with warmth at what’s soon to come. “And for what I’m wearing right now. You know who you are. Thanks again, dude!”

His lips are just visible on camera, and he grins coquettishly before slipping the sleeve off his right shoulder. Then the left. “That very same fan requested a strip tease tonight,” he continues, “and--well, I’ll let the rest be a surprise, huh?”

The belt is undone. The robe slips down to the bed, revealing the object of Hermann’s affections clad in nothing but a rather small pair of lacy black undergarments. (And a bloody expensive pair, at that--cost a third of Hermann’s weekly salary. It’s worth it.) You look very attractive, Hermann types encouragingly into the chat box, and hope it’s visible between the pleads for kaijulover69 to flash his face or pull his genitalia out already. 

He doesn’t appear to see any of them. “My week was pretty lame,” he continues. He begins to idly run his hands up and down his bare chest; Hermann mirrors the action on his own, enjoying the shiver he manages to elicit from himself even through two layers of shirt and sweater. “Work stuff has been kicking my ass. And--” His fingers falter. “Well, there’s this guy I really like, and we’ve kinda been...seeing each other, but I just found out he’s actually seeing someone else. So I guess it’s like, I realized I’ve been making all this shit up in my head?”

Who would ever turn down such a marvelous specimen of human? Hermann’s temper flares with a mingling of both righteous offense on the man’s behalf and a little bit of jealousy that he’s not the one who’s so captured his heart. He would like to knock some sense into them, whoever they are.

“But you don’t care about that,” he says, and forces a laugh. “You want to see me mess these up, don’t you?”

His hand drifts down to his panties, and he gives himself a squeeze through them.

“Please,” Hermann says happily, though he knows there’s no one to hear.

------

There’s an email from Newton waiting for him in his inbox the next morning. No subject.

Hey, dude-

Sorry I left you hanging yesterday. I was just a little shocked. Not shocked that you have a partner or whatever, of course you do, that’s totally normal, just that you never told me about them until now. I read over your latest article, and I just wanted to say what an utter load of--

“Hmph,” Hermann says, and quickly scrolls up and away from Newton’s annoying little rant.

Even as he does so, he feels a pang of guilt he doesn’t quite understand. Newton is shocked he has a partner: so what? And, er, so what if that partner isn’t quite as real as Hermann is pretending? The question came at him fast, and unexpected, and so very quickly into the switch from letter correspondence to email; kaijulover69 on his mind, Hermann panicked and wrote yes, I do have someone in my life. It’s not entirely a lie. Though Hermann holds no illusions about the nature of their dynamic, the man has certainly taken up the same amount of Hermann’s time and money that a real partner would. And besides--it’s easier. Less messy. Newton would probably try to set Hermann up with someone, or pester him about his sex life, or even--God forbid--try to offer him advice. (Once I blew a guy in the bathroom of this shitty dive bar, try that, he told Hermann a few weeks ago, and I always take my dates to the aquarium so I can talk about shit and look smart.) 

It’s also helpful in dissuading Hermann from his daydreams and illusions of dating not kaijulover69, but Newton; that, he fears, is an even grander pipe dream.

He skims Newton’s--rather poor--critique of his work, ignoring entirely his comments on Hermann’s partner, and types up a fast rebuttal. Kaijulover69 has another stream tonight, and he doesn't want to miss it.

--------

“The trick,” kaijulover69 pants, “is to just, uh, relax your muscles as much as possible. It’s easier when you’ve got someone doing it for you, obviously, but...”

His chosen method of masturbation tonight is a frightfully large tentacle dildo, wider and longer than any prick Hermann’s seen in his life. Hermann’s not sure if such a dildo would fit inside him; he’s not even sure if it’s going to fit inside kaijulover69. The man is rather compact. It’s stopped about halfway into his body, and even from the rather distant angle Hermann can tell it’s stretching him tight. 

“...I might’ve jumped the gun a little,” the man says, and bursts out into breathy laughter. “Should’ve, uh, should’ve gotten the smaller size. Or worked up to this one.” He works another centimeter into himself before his body goes taut. “Go--go big or go home, I guess?”

One hand moving steadily around his prick, Hermann uses the other to type an encouraging message: Excellent effort.

Kaijulover69 pulls the dildo out to the thinnest section, then once he relaxes, begins a rhythm of short, shallow thrusts. Each time, it goes in a little deeper. It’s very good to watch, and listen to as well; his little gasps, the creaks of his bedsprings, the spread of his legs widening. Hermann briefly considers how badly he would like to be the one pushing it into him and dragging out those sounds, and is surprised to find himself orgasming.

He tips generously once the stream is over: he does like to consider himself some sort of gentleman, and he likes seeing how excited it gets kaijulover69.

-------

The package arrives on an entirely ordinary Tuesday some three weeks later. Autumn has come, bringing with it a rather heavy series of rains, and Hermann is drenched and shivering when he finally ducks into the relative warmth of his flat. The knowledge of what the box tucked under his arm contains warms him considerably; he rented a P.O. Box for one reason and one reason exactly, not even daring to have his name attached to it. It’s gauche, he knows, but--isn’t it a bit like recycling? Kaijulover69 gets a fresh, exciting outfit from Hermann, and Hermann gets it back after he’s--well.

Hermann needs to unwind somehow. There’s nothing wrong with it!

The black lace undergarments are wrapped neatly up inside the box, with a sweet little pink bow on top. Attached to that is a simple handwritten card: To my number one fan! ❤️ There’s plenty more where this came from...

Simple, and innocently flirty. And so familiar it makes Hermann’s blood run cold.

“It’s not possible,” he says.

And yet--isn’t it? Hermann’s never seen his face--either of their faces--and the screen name--

There is no return address on the package, but a frantic search of its wrappings reveals its origin: stamped in black ink over frog-themed postage is BOSTON, MASSACHUSETTS. “No, no,” Hermann mutters to himself, even as he reminds himself (unhelpfully) that plenty of people are from Boston. He tosses it to the bed and clacks over to his desk, clutching the card so tightly it crumples. Newton’s letters are all in the top drawer--he just needs--

The handwriting is a perfect match.

“Bugger,” Hermann groans.

#newmann #maria's fanfiction tag #Anonymous #not sfw ////

[halleyingham28-blog]

The Purchases And also Advertising SWOT Evaluation.

As small company managers, our company stress over getting in touch with folks way too much - however nobody tells our company the amount of is actually too much! This way you are actually a lot better able to get the count on of others thus leading to an increase in your advertising effectiveness which assists increase purchases. There are many time evaluated marketing tactics that will help accomplish this objective and work in any sort of environment conceivable but the factor is actually raising exposure is actually where you start! These sorts of advertising and marketing procedures have worked with a number of individuals, however they are in fact quite difficult and chaotic. You'll start by studying important devices for marketing approach interpretation including segmentation, installing as well as targeting.

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This form of advertising and marketing may double or even triple your company budget plan simply, offered you will not fall in either some of the common mistakes carried out through error-prone Mlm developers and suppliers. The advertising pieces that compose your general marketing campaign are your possibilities to transform your leads, users, existing and previous clients right into paying for consumers. Nonetheless in further years attendance are going to differ depending upon which options are actually picked yet usually between 10-12 hours per week. As an example, the standing of a business, its capability to remain at the forefront from the customer's thoughts are likewise considered the criteria for screening advertising and marketing effectiveness. Easy to Go through: Home based business flyers are actually effortless for customers as well as potential customers to check out.

[antoniettawtn-blog]

Marketing Follow Up Approach

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[footyplusau]

Hawthorn 2017 mid-season report card: How low will the Hawks tumble?

As AFL clubs enjoy their mid-season bye and list managers turn their attention towards 2018, we take a daily look at one club and how it has performed so far – and what to expect from here.

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Carlton pip Giants by slimmest of margins

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Previous slide Next slide

AFL plays of round 11

AFL plays of round 11

Impey has the power to leap, Geelong play total football to beat Crows, Suns put Eagles in the shade, GWS are awesome and go top and Dusty racks up the Brownlow votes yet again.

Carlton pip Giants by slimmest of margins

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Carlton pip Giants by slimmest of margins

Carlton pip Giants by slimmest of margins

There was a massive difference between the two teams on the ladder but it appeared no one had told the Blues that as they held on in a tight finish.

Carlton’s cheap shot on Steve Johnson

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Carlton’s cheap shot on Steve Johnson

Carlton’s cheap shot on Steve Johnson

Steve Johnson became the target in a fiery moment during the Carlton and GWS match.

Bombers blitz Power

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Bombers blitz Power

Bombers blitz Power

Essendon had their shooting boots on in a demolition of a lame Port Adelaide outfit.

Suns sneak home against Hawthorn

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Suns sneak home against Hawthorn

Suns sneak home against Hawthorn

The Gold Coast Suns held off Hawthorn in a tense final quarter at the MCG.

Battling Dockers hammered by Brisbane

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Battling Dockers hammered by Brisbane

Battling Dockers hammered by Brisbane

After nine straight losses the Lions claimed a comfortable win over the lethargic Dockers.

Crows back on top after thumping Saints

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Crows back on top after thumping Saints

Crows back on top after thumping Saints

Adelaide are back at the top of the AFL ladder after defeating St Kilda by 57 points at the Adelaide Oval.

Bombers bid for AFLW

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Bombers bid for AFLW

Bombers bid for AFLW

Essendon Football Club is bidding for an AFLW licence for 2019, but their chances could be bruised for not submitting for the first round.

AFL plays of round 11

Impey has the power to leap, Geelong play total football to beat Crows, Suns put Eagles in the shade, GWS are awesome and go top and Dusty racks up the Brownlow votes yet again.

HAWTHORN

Pre-season expectations: This depended on who you consulted. A straight-sets finals exit last season and the decision to move Sam Mitchell and Jordan Lewis on meant the premiership era was over. Could the Hawks remain in the top eight, even the top six, or would a dramatic tumble ensue? 

Record: 4-8.

What’s gone right: Jarryd Roughead’s return from cancer has been an uplifting tale – and puts life and football into perspective. The decision to poach Tom Mitchell from the Swans has been a fine call. He is the ultimate ball hunter, averaging a team-high 35 touches per game, but a lack of outside run has curbed his influence. Mitchell even had 50 touches in the loss to the Magpies, although some questioned whether these had provided enough “metres gained”. In a season when several premiership stars have either temporarily faded or almost reached their expiry date, it’s been the promise of youth that has warmed the hearts of the Hawks – and their supporters. They have already used an equal-league high of 35 players. Ryan Burton, taken with the 19th pick overall in the 2015 draft, shapes as a key plank in defence for the next decade, while Blake Hardwick, a star junior forward now also in defence, is also likely to be a long-term option. The rookie-listed James Cousins, tall wingman Dallas Willsmore, Teia Miles, back from a broken collarbone, forward Tim O’Brien and Kade Stewart are among those given a chance in a side that had been settled for so long. The win over the Swans in Sydney, led by Shaun Burgoyne and Luke Hodge, was an uplifting, wind-the-clock-back moment but club chiefs know where their list is really positioned. Coach Alastair Clarkson, however, insists the base of players with about 150 games of experience is strong.

What’s gone wrong: Plenty. Cyril Rioli’s knee injury against Brisbane in round eight now has the Hawks suggesting he may not return this year – should finals, as surely is the case, be off the agenda. Jaeger O’Meara has had knee problems which, again, have sparked questions over whether the Hawks were right to pursue him. He had a knock to the knee in round three against his former club and did not return until round six. He then had more problems, prompting the Hawks to put him through a mini pre-season. Clarkson has not put a specific date on his return. Another recruit, Ty Vickery, has been dropped twice, and has not provided the David Hale-type role the Hawks had wanted. Jonathon Ceglar (knee reconstruction) has been missed. Grant Birchall’s run and carry from half-back has also been missed for most of the season, James Frawley and Ben Stratton have been hurt, Jack Gunston, despite five goals against the Suns, has underperformed, while Josh Gibson, Hodge and Burgoyne have shown signs that this could be their final season. Having had goal-scoring options aplenty in their heyday, the Hawks endured a 0.3 first half against Port Adelaide – the worst start in club history. This year they are averaging only 78 points per game – three goals less than last year. Should this continue, it will be their lowest average in the Clarkson era. The coach insists the Hawks will rebuild quickly. “They have a book called ‘The Hard Way’ about our footy club for a reason,” Clarkson said. “I don’t know why but we find a way to do it pretty tough from time to time, which is what we are going right at the minute. We have had ebbs and flows a lot over the last 50 years, (but) what this footy club has been great at, is once it has dropped away, it has managed to get back up there pretty quickly.”

Jack Gunston looks dejected after losing to Geelong in round four. Photo: Getty Images

Standout star: Swans coach John Longmire recently said there was no better player at winning the contested ball than Tom Mitchell, and that’s been obvious – again – this year. Mitchell has topped 30 possessions in all but one game (against the Suns in round three). He also ranks eighth for contested possessions per game and ninth for tackles. Among the Hawks, he has 148 more disposals, 68 more contested possessions and 22 more clearances than any teammate, and is on track to claim the Peter Crimmins medal in his first year at the club.

Players under the pump: Clarkson says Gunston, contracted until the end of 2019, and Paul Puopolo, contracted until the end of 2018, are unlikely to be traded – but that could change if there are offers come October. Billy Hartung hasn’t delivered what was needed in the midfield, while Ryan Schoenmakers, having opted to remain during the premiership years, may need a fresh start. Jack Fitzpatrick’s history of concussions is also a concern. Hodge, Burgoyne and Gibson could all retire. Will Langford continues to struggle for consistent senior selection. Would Vickery, with a year left on his contract, be in play? The Hawks traded away their first-round pick to St Kilda this year as part of the O’Meara deal, meaning if the season ended today, they would have ceded the No.2 selection. The Hawks know they need a high pick if they are to fast-track their rebuild.

The run home: It’s really of little consequence, for hope of making the finals is all but over. If injuries persist, and Rioli, for instance, does not return, it’s hard to see the Hawks winning another two or three games. Their campaign restarts against the Crows in Adelaide on Thursday week, before the Magpies, Giants and Cats await.

Grading: A dramatic crash, heading for a bottom-four finish. D



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[footyplusau]

Saints following Hawks’ model to success

St Kilda has high hopes for Paddy McCartin

“IMITATION is the sincerest form of flattery that mediocrity can pay to greatness.”

Oscar Wilde could easily have been referring to St Kilda and its pursuit of something like what Hawthorn achieved.

The Hawks have won four AFL premierships since 2008 – all under current coach Alastair Clarkson – whereas the Saints are still hunting an addition to their sole 1966 triumph.

They were agonisingly close in 2009 and 2010, a period they played in three Grand Finals; losing to Geelong by 12 points, then drawing one with Collingwood and losing the replay by 56 points.

Another list regeneration was necessary and only Nick Riewoldt, Leigh Montagna, Sam Gilbert, Jarryn Geary and David Armitage are still on St Kilda’s list from that last Grand Final side.

Comparisons between young, rebuilding outfits and the champion team of the era – Hawthorn, in this example – are, perhaps, too readily made.

But they went into overdrive once Chris Pelchen, the Hawks’ former list manager who played a role in transforming them from easybeats into a feared and respected juggernaut, joined the Saints.

And even more so once Pelchen, in a radio interview in 2014 after parting ways with St Kilda, stated the Saints’ list was “almost identical” in demographics to that of Hawthorn circa 2004.

His timeline for St Kilda’s progression has proven strikingly accurate: a difficult period before things started turning around in 2016, then a potential finals appearance in 2017.

There were tough decisions made on senior players – think Steven Baker, Zac Dawson, Andrew McQualter, Raphael Clarke and Jason Gram – just like the Hawks previously did and are doing once more.

Stars Brendon Goddard and Nick Dal Santo also chose to go elsewhere with the club’s immediate direction clear.

The Saints have not only turned to the draft, with key forward Paddy McCartin a prized No.1 pick in 2014, but also recycled players from rivals.

Dylan Roberton, Jake Carlisle, Nathan Brown, Tom Hickey, Billy Longer, Jack Steele, Koby Stevens, Maverick Weller and Nathan Freeman are among the used goods.

Hawthorn integrated players like David Hale, Shaun Burgoyne, Josh Gibson, Brian Lake, James Frawley, Jack Gunston, Ben McEvoy, Jonathon Ceglar and Matt Spangher in their flag-hoarding era.

The Hawks are hoping to have just as much success with Jaeger O’Meara, Tom Mitchell and Ty Vickery.

St Kilda coach Alan Richardson hinted on Friday, ahead of Saturday’s match-up with the Hawks in Launceston, there was more of that to come.

“I think a lot of clubs have looked at what Hawthorn’s done in terms of bringing in (players) or going to the draft for a big period of the rebuild,” Richardson said.

“And then being able to add some experienced players – Lake, Frawley.

“We’re no different. We’re probably not quite there yet in terms of adding or being able to add the top end or already experienced talent, but we’re getting close to that.

“We think Carlisle’s playing some good footy, Nathan Brown’s done some really good stuff for us in terms of defending big blokes (and) Koby Stevens comes in (this week) and we expect him to be really strong and aggressive for us in the middle of the ground.”

The Saints’ ability to rise will depend largely on the development of first-round picks McCartin, Jack Billings, Blake Acres, Freeman, Jade Gresham, Longer, Seb Ross, Luke Dunstan and Hugh Goddard.

They are all aged 23 or younger, with Longer and Ross turning 24 in May.

Realising their potential while at least some of Riewoldt, Montagna, Jack Steven, new skipper Geary, Gilbert and Armitage are still contributing is another challenge.

But, as Pelchen – while no longer being at the club – said all those years ago, it has all been carefully planned to give that a chance.

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