#i feel like everyone’s also more accepting if smaller accounts cause followers aren’t a big deal

[dearreader]

i love our little corner of the fandom cause it’s all the same people. and even if we aren’t mutuals we at least know of each other’s existence and that feels a lot more welcoming than other sides of swiftie fandoms

#i feel like everyone’s also more accepting if smaller accounts cause followers aren’t a big deal #it’s just so so nice to have #we’re all multifandom basically but still interact with each others hyperfixations even of we don’t love them ourselves #like it just feels so nice and lovely at times here #ot can be bad but i like to think it’s still a good bubble #kelly babels

[olderthannetfic]

I'm a Chinese, nationally and racially. Racial projection seems to be a common practice in western fandom, doesn't it? I find it a bit... weird to witness the drama ignited upon shipping individuals with different races, or the tendency to separate characters into different "colors" even though the world setting doesn't divide races like that. Such practice isn't a thing here. Mind explaining a bit on this phenomenon?

--

Sure, I can try. But of course, fish aren’t very good at explaining the water they swim in.

Americans aren’t good at detecting our own Americanness, and a lot of what you’re seeing is very much culturally American rather than Western in general. (In much of Europe, “race” is a concept used by racists, or so I’m told, unlike in the US where it’s seen more neutrally.) Majority group members (i.e. me, a white girl) aren’t usually the savviest about minority issues, but I’ll give it a shot.

The big picture is that most US race stuff boils down to our attempts to justify and maintain slavery and that dynamic being applied, awkwardly, to everyone else too, even years after we abolished slavery.

There’s a concept called the “one drop rule” where a person is “black” if they have even one drop of black blood.

We used to outlaw “interracial” marriage until quite recently. (That meant marriage between black people and white people with Asians and Hispanic people and others wedged in awkwardly.) Here’s the Wikipedia article on this, which contains the following map showing when we legalized interracial marriage. The red states are 1967.

That’s within living memory for a ton of people! Yellow is 1948 to 1967. This is just not very long ago at all. (Hell, we only fully banned slavery in 1865, which is also just not that long ago when it comes to human culture.)

Why did we have this bananas-crazy set of laws and this idiotic notion that one remote ancestor defines who you are? It boils down to slavery requiring a constant reaffirming that black people are all the same (and subhuman) while white people are all this completely separate category. The minute you start intermarrying, all of that breaks down. This was particularly important in our history because our system of slavery involved the kids of slaves being slaves and nobody really buying their way out. Globally, historically, there are other systems of slavery where there was more mobility or where enslaved people were debtors with a similar background to owners, and thus the people in power were less threatened by ambiguity in identity.

Post-slavery, this shit hung around because it was in the interests of the people in power to maintain a similar status quo where black people are fundamentally Other.

A lot of our obsession with who counts as what is simply a legacy of our racist past that produced our racist present.

--

The other big factor in American concepts of identity is that we see ourselves as a nation of immigrants (ignoring our indigenous peoples, as usual). A lot of people’s families arrived here relatively recently, and we often don’t have good records of exactly where they were from, even aside from enslaved people who obviously wouldn’t have those records. Plenty of people still identify with a general nationality (”Italian-American” and such), but the nuance the family might once have had (specific region of Italy, specific hometown) is often lost. Yeah, I know every place has immigrants, and lots of people don’t have good records, but the US is one of those countries where families have on average moved around a lot more and a lot more recently than some, and it affects our concepts of identity. I think some of the willingness to buy into the idea of “races” rather than “ethnicities” has to do with this flattening of identity.

New immigrant groups were often seen as Other and lesser, but over time, the ones who could manage it got added to our concept of “whiteness”, which gave them access to those same social and economic privileges.

Skin color is a big part of this. In a system that is founded on there being two categories, white owners and black slaves, skin color is obviously going to be about that rather than being more of a class marker like it is in a lot of the world.

But it’s not all about skin color since we have plenty of Europeans with somewhat darker skin who are seen as generically white here, while very pale Asians are not. I’m not super familiar with all of the history of anti-Asian racism in the US, but I think this persistent Otherness probably boils down to Western powers trying to justify colonial activities in Asia plus a bunch of religious bullshit about predominantly Christian nations vs. ones that are predominantly Buddhist or some other religion.

In fact, a lot of racist archetypes in English can be traced back to England’s earliest colonial efforts in Ireland. Justifying colonizing Those People because they’re subhuman and/or ignorant and in need of paternalistic rulers or religious conversion is at the bottom of a lot of racist notions. Ironic that we now see Irish people as clearly “white”.

--

There are a lot of racist porn tropes and racist cultural baggage here around the idea of black people being animalistic. Racist white people think black men want to rape/steal white women from white men. Black women get seen as hypersexual and aggressive. If this sounds like white people projecting in order to justify murder and rape... well, it is.

Similar tropes get applied to a lot of groups, often including Hispanic and Middle Eastern people, though East Asians come in more for creepy fantasies about endlessly submissive and promiscuous women. This nonsense already existed, but it was certainly not helped by WWII servicemen from here and their experiences in Asia. Again, it’s a projection to justify shitty behavior as what the party with less power was “asking for”.

In porn and even romance novels, this tends to turn up as a white character the audience is supposed to identify with paired with an exotic, mysterious Other or an animalistic sexy rapist Other.

A lot of fandoms are based on US media, so all of our racist bullshit does apply to the casting and writing of those, whether or not the fic is by Americans or replicating our racist porn tropes.

(Obviously, things get pretty hilarious and infuriating once Americans get into c-dramas and try to apply the exact same ideas unchanged to mainstream media about the majority group made by a huge and powerful country.)

--

Politically, within the US, white people have had most of the power most of the time. We also make up a big chunk of the population. (This is starting to change in some areas, which has assholes scared shitless.) This means that other groups tend to band together to accomplish shared political goals. They’re minorities here, so they get lumped together.

A lot of Americans become used to seeing the world in terms of “white people” who are powerful oppressors and “people of color” who are oppressed minorities. They’re trying to be progressive and help people with less power, and that’s good, but it obviously becomes awkward when it’s over-applied to looking at, say, China.

--

Now... fandom...

I find that fandom, in general, has a bad habit of holding things to double standards: queer things must be Good Representation™ even when they’re not being produced for that purpose. Same for ethnic minorities or any other minority. US-influenced parts of fandom (which includes a lot of English-speaking fandom) tend to not be very good at accepting that things are just fantasy. This has gotten worse in recent years.

As fandom has gotten more mainstream here, general media criticism about better representation (both in terms of number of characters and in terms of how they’re portrayed) has turned into fanfic criticism (not enough fics about ship X, too many about ship Y, problematic tropes that should not be applied to ship X, etc.). I find this extremely misguided considering the smaller reach of fandom but, more importantly, the lack of barriers to entry. If you think my AO3 fic sucks, you can make an account and post other fic that will be just as findable. You don’t need money or industry connections or to pass any particular hurdle to get your work out there too.

People also (understandably) tend to be hypersensitive to anything that looks like a racist porn trope. My feeling is that many of these are general porn tropes and people are reaching. There are specific tropes where black guys are given a huge dick as part of showing that they’re animalistic and hypersexual, but big dicks are really common in porn in general. The latter doesn’t automatically mean you’re doing the former unless there are other elements present. A/B/O or dubcon doesn’t mean it’s this racist trope either, not unless certain cliched elements are present. OTOH, it’s not hard for a/b/o tropes to feel close to “animalistic guy is rapey”, so I can see why it often bothers people.

A huge, huge, huge proportion of wank is “all rape fantasies are bad” crap too, which muddies the waters. I think a lot of people use “it’s racist” as an easy way to force others to agree with their incorrect claims that dubcon, noncon, a/b/o, etc. are fundamentally bad. Many fans, especially white fans, feel like they don’t know enough to refute claims of racism, so they cave to such arguments even when they’re transparently disingenuous.

--

Not everyone here thinks this way. I know plenty of people offline, particularly a lot of nonwhite people, who think fandom discourse is idiotic and that the people “protecting” people or characters of color are far more racist than the people writing “bad” fic or shipping the wrong thing.

But in general, I’d say that the stuff above is why a lot of us see the world as white people in power vs. everyone else as oppressed victims, interracial relationships as fraught, and porn about them as suspect. Basically, it’s people trying to be more progressive and aware but sometimes causing more harm than good when those attempts go awry.

#Anonymous

[amphtaminedreams]

I Shopped at YesStyle So You Don’t Have To: Lookbook no.10

Hi to anyone reading,

And welcome to what I guess is my first “review” post of sorts! Which is basically an excuse for me to rave about Korean street style and ask why the fuck Seoul fashion week isn’t more of a big deal!? Though I’ve pretty much quit fast fashion over the last few months and have been getting my clothes from Depop, I did want to talk about the website YesStyle which I ordered from back in May (jfc, the fact that May was almost 4 months ago now is terrifying) and how impressed I was with their service and the clothes I received. It should go without saying from the fact that investing in someone with about 200 followers on here wouldn’t be a very good financial decision, but this isn’t a sponsored post-I just think that if you’re gonna order from anywhere, YesStyle is a good shout for those of you who, like myself, are inspired by East Asian street style. I have to give credit to the incredible Katie O, otherwise known as StealTheSpotlight on Youtube and Instagram; she’s the medium through which I’ve been introduced to the world of “k-fashion” and YesStyle in the first place. Yes, my current knowledge of k-pop doesn’t extend far past fan tendencies to flood every popular tweet with fancams of their favourite singers and girl groups (I admire the dedication), but through Katie’s content and Instagram accounts like TokyoFashion on Instagram,  I have come to the conclusion that the stylists behind these groups and Asian designers in general are owed a huge amount of credit by Western trend forecasters. If you have any Instagram account or blog recommendations with similar content please let me know! For now, I’m gonna give a run down of the pieces I ordered (most of which are still available), prices and sizing, and also a bit focussing on ethical concerns and what I could find out about their practices from my research.

DISCLAIMER: The photos used as backgrounds are mine. Yes, I’m in mourning over the fact that this time last year I was inter-railing, in case the ham-fisted insertion of touristy pics didn’t make that obvious. Remember when we could leave the country? When it didn’t feel like the world was ending? When everything didn’t seem to be going to absolute shit all at once? When there was a glimmer of hope that we wouldn’t spend the next 4 years being governed by the Conservatives here in Britain? Simpler times :-)

The Pieces

1. The Alizio V-Neck Camisole Top in White: £4.97, Size M

So, what you’re gonna get from the off here is that YesStyle’s prices seem ridiculously cheap, which is something I’ll address in the ethics section at the end of the post. For £4.97, you’d expect an ill-fitting SheIn/Zaful style number but I was so impressed by how flattering this top actually is. I was a size 8 and 32C for reference and my only complaint is that because the neckline has a slight plunge, it was a little awkward to wear with a t-shirt bra. You know, unless you’re into that cups poking out of the top kinda vibe that was a rite of passage for all British teenage girls going through puberty back in, like, 2009 when you wanted everyone to know you’d been on your first bra shopping trip to M&Co with your mum at the weekend. 

2. The Rhames High-Waist Plaid Mini Skirt in Purple: £9.12, Size M

Clueless being as iconic as it is, a plaid mini skirt is always going to be timeless and I know this is a piece I’m gonna be basing outfits around for a long time. It fit perfectly and is surprisingly good quality material; I was kind of expecting it to come in that super thin, semi-see through jersey that you get when you order from a lot of UK fast fashion sites, but a recurring feature of the clothes I picked out was that they were such good quality for the price and exactly as they appear online. I’ve found in the past that UK sites are deceptively canny with lighting and angles in that when the garment actually arrives (Boohoo in particular is a repeat offender in this regard) it’s a lot frumpier than it looks on the model. It seems to be common practice to pin back and temporarily alter the clothes during photoshoots to give the illusion that they’re a lot more fitted and structured than they actually are which ultimately just leads to disappointment when you try on the supposedly bodycon dress and resemble a sack of potatoes. Been there, done that. I worship the ground all carbs walk on but I don’t want to look like them. Should go without saying really. It’s nothing to do with size, but it’s just crappy tailoring and cutting corners on the brand’s part and that’s what irks me. I really appreciate that YesStyle has photos of “regular” people just wearing the clothes out rather than the outcomes of these overly edited, studio lit shoots that aren’t necessarily the most representative of how the garment is gonna look irl.

3. Nikiki Garter Belt: £5.59, One Size

As comfortable as garters come, I guess? I don’t have much experience with them tbh, lol. 2021 to do list, if we make it out of 2020 alive: try more garters.

4. Lucuna Floral Embroidered Cropped Cardigan in Almond: £15.61, One Size

Don’t get me wrong, this cardigan is adorable and there’s nothing misleading about the photo on the website. What I will say is that considering it only comes in one size, it’s pretty tight on the arms. I’m a size 6 right now and it’s really not like I’m ripped or anything (lol) so it’s safe to say that in terms of the Lucuna brand, their sizes come up very small. The cardigan wasn’t the only one size thing I purchased and whilst the others did fit, I think in general the fact that said “one size” is pretty much only suitable for UK sizes 4-8 is pretty shit. A few of the pieces had elasticated waistbands but in general in 2020, when we’ve come so far in the last few years with body positivity and being more inclusive of all sizes, to have a sample size that runs so small isn’t acceptable and this sizing issue is my biggest problem with the store. Though I recognise that YesStyle acts as an outlet for smaller East Asian brands (in this case Lucuna) and thus aren’t themselves responsible for the designs, more consideration should probably go into the harm that could potentially be done by stocking these supposedly “one size fits all” garments. Brandy Melville, I’m looking at you too. Your designs are cute but your lack of inclusivity is shitty.

5. Ohnana Ruffle Trim Strappy Cami Cropped Top in Purple: £5.01, Size M

I’m not as jazzed as I was about this top now it seems that everyone and their mother’s dog is selling it at an extortionate price on Depop but I will say that it’s also very flattering. Makes my strangely long torso look somewhat proportionate, which is nice. The material is pretty thin but it is for all intents and purposes a tank top and the price is reflective of that.

6. Sisyphi Plaid Shirt in Tangerine: £11.30, One Size

So the “one size” option strikes again, though this time with less vengeance-I would say this would be wearable up to size 12/14 so slightly better than with the cardigan.

7.  BBChic High-Waist Wide-Leg Jeans: £10.04, Size M

When it comes to these jeans, I only have good things to say. Like firstly, they make me feel like early 2000s Avril Lavigne AKA. my childhood icon/potential clone/queen of millennium grunge and an incarnation of Y2K fashion I can actually get behind. Secondly, they have an elasticated waistband, which is ALWAYS a good thing. Thirdly, they didn’t come up ridiculously long on me which I feared would be the case; I did wear the platform Filas with them but as you can see, it’s not like they’d be trailing over my feet even in flats. I’m somewhere between 5′3 and 5′4 for reference and usually go for petite in jeans  and trousers just to be on the safe side.

8.  HERMITAKH Ring Detail Halter Crop Top in Black: £5.15, Size M

I have only recently become a member of the itty bitty titty committee but even back when I shot this lookbook this halter actually fit! When it came to tops that necessitate going braless, I always had issues with finding pieces I didn’t feel were going to cause an unintentional free the nipple moment, but the fact that you can tie this top up at the neck and back yourself allows you to work out a fit that’s supportive for you. 

9. Puffie Lightning Print Straight-Cut Pants: £13.76, Size M

I’d wanted a pair of trousers like these for ages before I saw them on YesStyle but the ones I’d come across in the past were a bit extra for my hometown and typically cost more than they seemed to be worth. This pair lack the bulk that the original styles I came across had, which helps give them a more casual, laid back feel, though they are just as vibrant and substantial BUT there isn’t much give in them. They have the slightly baggy look I was going for however they aren’t elasticated on the waist so I recommend having a look at the guide that’s available next to the drop down box where you select the size you want.

 10. Alfie Mesh Long-Sleeve Top in Pink: £7.71, One Size

No, the Jennifer’s Body top isn’t from YesStyle, I’m sorry to disappoint. Go to RedBubble for that one! The considerably less exciting mesh top underneath however, is, and in spite of its relative mundanity (you can’t top Megan Fox as a man-eating demon) it does the job as a versatile staple piece. It’s one size but it does have a lot of stretch in it so would probably go up to about size 14 (not to say that’s great).

11. Barrash Harness Bag: £17.10, One Size

The harness vest is one of my favourite trends to come out of k-fashion and I wanted SO badly to pull this piece off (especially because it was one of the most expensive pieces I purchased from the site) but it was far too big for me even when I adjusted it and TBH...I don’t even know if it’s just the sizing? I kinda felt like a paranoid tourist with their bag on back to front and yeah...I don’t think that’s the desired effect. Here’s an example of how cool they CAN look from Seoul fashion week, and with that another example of why NYFW should lose its place in the “big 4″ to make room for SFW:

And just Blackpink just setting the standard for the utility wear trend in general:

12. Mikiko Short-Sleeved Blouse in White: £8.79, One Size

I appreciate that the website notes that the “one size” here runs small, however it does also say that a “base layer” is needed for under the shirt which I didn’t find was necessary at all. The fabric is quite thick and it genuinely looks like the kind of shirt you’d find tucked away in a vintage shop, cute af and will go with anything.

13. Closette Sleeveless V-Neck Vest in Black: £11.87, One Size

Again, I was really impressed with the quality of this jumper; it definitely looks like something you’d pick up in a uniform shop (though this one is probably cheaper because those shops are daylight fucking ROBBERY) but I can never get enough of that grungy school girl look. Blame St.Trinians. 

14. Niji Smile Pleated Plaid Skirt with Insert Shorts in Green: £9.12, Size M

This skirt might be my absolute favourite of the items I ordered on the sole basis that it comes with shorts built in underneath, like, WHY DON’T ALL MINI SKIRTS HAVE THIS!? Plus the shape and the bounce it has to it makes me feel ultra-feminine and effortlessly cute which I love. It didn’t even turn up crumpled! Which you’ve really got to admire considering half the clothes in my local H&M look like they’ve never got within 10 metres of an iron in their short lifespan. 

15. LINSI Elbow-Sleeve Print T-Shirt: £10.92, One Size

If I had to pick one more favourite piece, it would be this graphic top that I wore underneath a pink chiffon Ebay dress. It looks and fits exactly like the photos on the website and I have to restrain myself wasting a wear of it just lounging around the house because it’s also ridiculously comfy.

16. LINSI Plaid Straight-Cut Pants in Orange: Size M

These trousers are currently out of stock, however I will say that of everything I’ve ordered they’re probably the least comfy and on that basis I’m not sure if I’d buy them again. They look great and I will push myself to wear them for that reason but they’re the kind of itchy fabric that I rush to take off and swap for some pyjamas the moment I get into the house. That being said, I don’t know if this is an issue everyone will have because I am someone that is overly sensitive to fabrics so you might not even notice it, plus-stretchy waistband! Which is a plus for sure.

I was also very impressed by the accessories I ordered, which once again completely surpassed my quality expectations. Pretty much everything pictured here was under £5 apart from the shoulder bag which was closer to 10, and when you consider that the price of these is inflated at the moment because of the resurgence of the Y2K trend, this is still ridiculously cheap.

The prices are definitely a concern of mine because unfortunately, when products are this cheap there’s usually somebody being exploited down the line. Since I made this order in May, I’ve had a small slip up with a Motel Rocks order, but other than that have cut out fast fashion completely. I want to be as ethical a consumer as I can, and that’s something I considered before making this post; that being said, YesStyle, actually a Hong-Kong based company in spite of it being touted as the destination for k-fashion, was recognised as a "Caring Company" between 2014 and 2019 (I don’t think this has been updated for 2020 yet given the circumstances) by the Hong Kong Council of Social Service. From what I can find online, this award is given to Hong Kong companies that demonstrate good corporate citizenship and responsibility. Whilst this seems like reassuring information, like I said, I find it hard to believe that the production of clothes selling for these kinds of prices isn’t outsourced to low wage workers at some stage of the process. It’s a hard to know where to stand, because obviously the fast fashion industry DOES create jobs that people rely on to sustain themselves but at what point does the treatment of workers in developing countries negate the opportunities the industry provides here in the UK? “There is no ethical consumption under capitalism” and all that but shouldn’t we try to make a change where we can? I agree with the statement though at times it can come across like a deflection of individual responsibility. Plus there’s the environmental side of the debate-having to fly the garments over from the point of manufacture obviously takes a massive amount of fuel which it goes without saying is hugely detrimental to our planet. The sizing is also an issue; the average clothes size here in the UK is a 12, I believe, and yet a size medium seems to come up as about an 8. Asian sizes do tend to come up smaller in general but at the same time, if that’s the case, as an international retailer shouldn’t YesStyle at least address that somewhere on the site?

I don’t want to end on a negative note because compared to sites like Zaful, SheIn, and even UK based retailers such as Pretty Little Thing and Boohoo, YesStyle appears to be one of the better ones. The quality of their garments is incredible for the prices and I admire the transparency of having reviews for every product be so readily accessible. It’s also great to see that they have a section specifically addressing their response to the COVID-19 pandemic, AND  offer refunds to their customers for import fees. God, I don’t know why this isn’t something that more websites do? I will never forget being slapped with a £100+ invoice for a Dolls Kill (bleurgh) order I made once back in the more impulsive shopping days and all the Karen-y emails I sent back and forth. Import fees are understandable but international retailers should definitely make it clearer how these are calculated and give more of an indication of just how steep these fees might be if you’re making a large order. It almost seems disingenuous not to do so especially when said retailers most likely know that customers wouldn’t make these orders if they had an idea of what it would cost just to get access to the goods they’ve already paid for.

I won’t ramble on for much longer because there is so much important shit going on in the world right now and I don’t want to take up time that could be spent reading more valuable posts-with the shooting of Jacob Blake earlier this week, and the death of Chadwick Boseman earlier today (I can’t imagine the amount of mental and physical strength it takes to film all the movies he did back to back whilst dealing with colon cancer), the most important thing to do is listen to how black individuals are feeling and what they are thinking right now. I will keep an eye on my dashboard and retweet what I can. Thanks for reading. Even if you’re just here for the photos, I appreciate it! And I don’t know if I’ve said it before but please know that my messages are always open to anyone struggling, especially with everything that’s going on at the moment. I don’t claim to be a professional but I can always listen. Lots of love<3

Lauren x

#k-fashion #streetstyle #k-pop #fashion #fashion blog #style #style inspo #fashion review #yesstyle #stealthespotlight #blackpink

[honeypiehotchner]

Safe -- part five

You’ve had tea with Mycroft again in his office, but what you don’t expect is when he comes waltzing into your work the next day during your shift.

           Anne tries to hide her smile as she not-so-discreetly sits Mycroft down at your last empty table.

           You shoo her away as you walk over with Mycroft’s tea, already fixed the way he likes. And even though you aren’t supposed to, you slide into the chair across from him. You are still working, but a few minutes can’t hurt.

           “To what do I owe this pleasure?”

           Mycroft smiles. “I believe I said I would come visit you if at all possible.”

           “Well, forgive me for thinking it wasn’t going to be possible,” you chuckle, letting your insecurity slip. You grimace. “I’m sorry. I just mean I know you’re busy.”

           “I know what you meant,” he replies softly. “But I believe I did also inform you that I am never too busy for you.”

           “Forgive me for thinking that was also false,” you murmur, giving him a small smile. “I’ll be back.”

           You stand to make your rounds, noting that the woman at the front needs more coffee. As you begin filling the pot for another when the show on the telly is suddenly changed to the news – but not just any news. BREAKING NEWS flashes across the bottom of the screen in big letters. Curious, you join everyone else – even Anne and Mycroft – in the café by watching what’s so breaking about daytime news. Rarely anything ever happens during the day, unless it’s awful.

           “A man by the name Jacob Whitcomb has been arrested as of two hours ago for multiple accounts of severe fraud we’re told affecting the national government.”

           Thank God you aren’t holding the glass coffee pot when the reporter says his name because if you were, you would have dropped it. Hearing his name causes your entire body to freeze, your heart plummeting to the floor upon seeing his face on the screen as he’s being put into the back of a police car. And the menacing look he gives to one of the cameras, almost like he knew you’d see this, like he wanted to give you that look in whatever possible way he could. Like he still wanted to get to you, even if he isn’t in the room with you.

           Anne looks to you immediately after seeing the news, her worried eyes gauging your reaction, but she isn’t the only one. Mycroft is doing the same.

           Without really knowing where your legs are taking you, you dash to the back of the kitchen, rushing into the empty break room. You immediately unplug the television, too frantic to look for the remote. That takes too long, and you need it off now.

           Thankfully, your legs have enough sense to take you to a chair and your body has enough sense to make you sit down.

           Arrested. He’s been arrested.

           But just arrested. This isn’t the end of it. There’s still a trial, a decision, a conviction, if any. This will drag on, you’re sure. You’re not sure how long it will drag on for, though. It could take months – years. He would be in custody, or he’d be out before his trial. And if he’s out, then…he’s out. He’s out again, and he’d be able to come here or to your flat. He’d be able to—

           Anne walks into the break room, kneeling in front of you and holding onto your hands. “It’s okay,” she murmurs. “It’s okay.”

           “It’s not,” you shake your head, taking in a shaky breath. “Where is he?”

           “He’s in jail, lovebug. No one is going to be able to break him out. The bail is too high.”

           “No, not—Where’s Mycroft?”

           “Oh,” Anne furrows her eyebrows. “He’s out there. Do you want me to get him?”

           “Please?” You ask weakly, feeling ridiculous for not being able to go get him yourself. But you don’t trust your legs to carry you anywhere right now. You feel entirely too unstable.

           “Okay,” she pats your leg. “You sit right here. I’ll be right back.”

           And she is. A moment later, Anne returns, this time with Mycroft beside her. But she leaves you both alone for a moment of privacy, and to attend to the café.

           “Are you alright?”

           Instead of answering his question, you ask one of your own. “Did you do that?”

           “I’m sorry?”

           “Did you do that? Did you arrest him?”

           Mycroft sighs, settling himself. “I came across some files that were grounds for an investigation and warrant for his arrest, yes.”

           “Why? Why would you do that?”

           “He was bothering you,” Mycroft replies bluntly. “And he is a criminal who threatened the security of this nation.”

           “Yes, I know he is, he’s always been one, but this— He’s going to get out of this and he’s going to come after to me and you’ve—” You pinch the bridge of your nose, trying your hardest not to cry again. “I didn’t go to the authorities because I know how he works. He would find some way to blame me, and I know this is going to be the same thing, he’s just going to blame me and find me again, and—” Your throat constricts, forcing you this time to stop talking as a choked sob rises and spills from your lips. This is a mess. A mess. A much bigger mess than you were ever expecting. You should’ve never let Sherlock see through you and you should’ve never made such a big scene that day and caused Mycroft to follow you here. “He’s going to come after me, he’s—” You shake your head. “You have no idea what you’ve done.”

           “Y/N,” Mycroft says, a little firmer this time because he’s been trying to get your attention, but your thoughts have been too muddled for him to get through. “Look at me, dear.”

           Slowly, you do. Your vision isn’t clear because of the tears, but you can still see the concern on his face. The look of concern that makes your own nerves calm slightly and helps to quiet down the part of your brain telling you Mycroft’s intentions were malicious. You know they weren’t. It’s so hard to think straight.

           “It is an open investigation. He does not have a bail and he never will because he is not going to get to you. If there’s anything I can promise to you, it is that. I will not let him hurt you.”

           “He already has,” you remind Mycroft with a dark chuckle, watching as his expression falls. “But thank you for the sentiment.”

           “I will not let him hurt you anymore,” Mycroft clarifies, and you let a small smile grace your lips. “I promise.”

           “Thank you,” you whisper, even if you can’t entirely believe him. John promised you the same thing, before the…really bad thing happened. So Mycroft will just have to forgive you for not being able to believe him this time around.

           The remembrance of the really bad incident has you scrunching your face to keep from crying, but it doesn’t work. It never does, and you wish you wouldn’t do it because it looks rather ugly. But you do anyway, and you cover your face with your hands, bending over as you let the tears flow freely, the sobs wracking your body until you are left exhausted and shuddering.

           You return to your body – or the conscious world, at least, is what it feels like – feeling Mycroft’s hand rubbing circles on your back. Immediately, you sit up, realizing you’ve cried in front of him again, which you know makes him uncomfortable.

           “I’m sorry,” you take in a shuddering breath, wiping at your face. “Sorry. I’m okay.”

           “You do not need to apologize,” he reminds you. “And you’re not okay. Don’t lie to me.”

           “Sorry.”

           “Y/N,” Mycroft pauses, kneeling on the floor in front of you. “I didn’t mean for that to sound so harsh,” he murmurs. “I don’t want you to ever feel like you have to lie about how you are feeling around me.”

           You nod. “Okay.”

           He nods, understanding that that is probably the most verbose answer he is going to get from you at this moment. You manage to smile at him, now that you’re allowing yourself to really look at him. He’s knelt in front of you, no longer towering over you. You’re not sure if he did that because he sensed the anxiety coming from you as you had to look up at him, but regardless you are grateful. You know consciously that Mycroft Holmes is no threat to your wellbeing, but the reassurance and physical assurance as he makes himself smaller to help calm you down is something you weren’t aware you needed.

           “Thank you,” you finally whisper.

           You force yourself to stand, your legs shaking as they try to hold you up. Mycroft stands as well, though he now wears a look of concern as he watches you struggle just to stand in place – and you’re supposed to work.

           Well, you’re supposed to. But Mycroft isn’t going to let you.

           “You’re coming with me.”

           Your eyes widen. “What? Mycroft, I have to work. My shift doesn’t end for another four hours.”

           He shakes his head. “You are not working when you are in this state.”

           “I’m fine,” you reply, a hint of grumpiness coating your words. “Seriously.”

           He looks at you with narrowed eyes, testing you. A silent question of him asking you if you really want him to tell you what he sees right now, to further prove that he is not letting you work, and you really don’t want to be deduced right now, so you cave.

           “Fine,” you mutter. “But I have to talk to Anne first. I can’t just leave.”

           “Very well.”

           You nearly roll your eyes as you walk back out front, finding Anne refiling one of the coffee pots. She sees you and smiles, her eyes soft.

           “How are you holding up?”

           “I’m better,” you admit, casting a glance at Mycroft as he stands by the counter. “Listen, I think I’m gonna head out now. I’m feeling pretty exhausted after that ordeal, and that one over there,” you lower your voice as you nod at Mycroft, “told me I’m leaving with him.”

           Anne grins widely. “I like him. He gets it.”

           “Seriously?”

           “Seriously,” she nods. “Go. I can handle the store right now until someone else comes in.”

           “I promise I’ll work a double next week to make up for it.”

           “We’ll see,” she promises, knowing it’ll make you feel better to work it. “But for now, I want you to go with him and take a nap.”

           You frown, a little annoyed with your best friend for agreeing with Mycroft, but you force yourself to move on. You know Mycroft isn’t going to budge and neither will Anne, so you’re better off accepting the fact and leaving with Mycroft. You’re a little too tired to argue right now, anyway, if you’re being honest.

           Mycroft ends the phone call he was taking once you walk around the counter, and as if on cue – you’re positive it’s his doing – a sleek, black car pulls up to the curb outside the store.

#Safe #mycroft holmes #mycroft holmes x reader #mycroft x reader #bbc sherlock #bbc sherlock fanfiction #female reader #angst #yeah idk what else #i'm not too happy with this part #but eh

[madamhatter]

bigcasinc inquired:  🚼- For Sophie and Jade! send me 🚼 and a ship I’ll use a doll-maker to design what I think a child between our two muses would look like | accepting | @bigcasinc​

made using this picrew: loose carrot maker refer to ‘appearance’ for specifics (and what this maker couldn’t include).

NAME: Emery (A/N.: Or Moira! i’m unsure atm but i like emery a lot)  Leech Hatter AGE: 4~6 GENDER: Female (she/her) APPEARANCE:

Eyes mutated to a gold-brown hazel. No heterochromia like her father. 

Height is 3′2″/96 cm. Reaches to her mom’s waist.

Serrated teeth with a big smile.

Teal hair with silver highlights in it. Hair length at her neck and always picked up/styled. Usually in pigtails with bows or a ponytail with a bow. 

Thick brows and wide eyes like mother. Eye shape and mouth shape like father.

Can look unintentionally terrifying and does not understand she can be scary. She knows her smile can cause reactions (from her mom’s cooing and a barrage of kisses on her rounds cheeks to making people ‘jump’ (if she does a narrow smile like Jade’s or Floyd’s might scare the shit out of adults and children)). Bro, if someone asks her to flash her teeth, she's more than ENTHUSIASTIC to go ‘Okay!!’ and show them off.  

Usually seen worn rompers, pinafore dress w/ an undershirt, or repurposed shirts (from her mom’s childhood closet) and shorts. Always a solid purple, orange, or red top with a patterned shirt underneath it. Always in comfortable footwear for climbing and running or sandals.

PERSONALITY:

Largely a talkative child, with the support of her mother and her sisters as they are receptive and converse whenever something is on Emery’s mind. By ‘talkative,’ she is one who is in constant thought and with high curiosity. It doesn’t mean she outright talks to strangers who pass by her or may even make eye contact with her. 

Blunt without recognizing negative connotations or thoughts. She will speak what is on her mind, which aren’t properly thought through in terms of socialization (not that she cares for that at her age). It follows the same vein as a certain eel, except without the patronizing tone.  IE: “Do not run. You’re slow.” / "I’m fast to catch everyone. That’s easy.” 

Is to an extent clingy to her mother and aunts. She is known to hold onto her mom’s legs or hide underneath her mother’s long skirts whenever she’s talking. Very upfront in greeting those who she knows are close and tries to be polite. (Mostly, this is her trying to mimic how Sophie speaks but it’s WAAAY too dense for Emery sometimes). Though, she likes attention. She hasn’t put two-and-two together, but she knows her mom ‘follows’ her whenever she runs. So, Emery is more committed to running around with her human mother chasing after her and telling her to wait. 

As the last point denotes, she’s pretty perceptive to the people around her and reading them. She’s quick to know that x will get her y. Though, she doesn’t have complex thoughts down at her age yet. She will ask a sleuth of questions which may not have answers for -- but she is one to impose and seek. It’s her way of ‘reading’ the room.

Ecstatic to learn and being hands-on in things. Always behind with her mom to help her out in the kitchen or the hat shop (mainly, taking ribbons) and always tries to peek at the table and countertop. Additionally, she is one that would go out to try to help others -- if not, tell them that her mom can fix anything and lead them to her (explained in personal headcanons).

Emery still gets outright overwhelmed and restless at her age, when it comes to roadblocks and rejection -- especially by peers. She has a big threshold (if not tolerance) for what she takes and usually reciprocates a smile, before going completely quiet. This is where she’ll go into hiding or finds her high energy leaving her fitful and bothered.

SPECIAL TALENTS:

SHIFTER - As half-person and half-merperson, and given her parents’ magical prowl, Emery has the gift of being able to shift between these forms. Being raised on the land, she has defaulted to her two-legs. However, she will be able to morph into her mer-form, which is remarkably similar to her father’s (smaller, with numerous silver spots, and frills). She needs to train herself, but at her age, it will come fairly easily. She needs to be thoroughly dried and taken to a side by the water to help her shift back to her human form (which her mom takes well care of). Emery, however, is not aware of this ability or her heritage. 

HIDE-AND-SEEK CHAMPION - Known to hide in almost any place that she can find, Emery is known by the local children to be practically undetectable when it comes to her hiding spots and when she changes spots. This power is two-fold. She is an exceptional, if not terrifying, seeker. She can’t put her finger on it, but she finds them easily (through smell) and slowly walks over to the other children, patting them, which sends them in a jolt, if not, screaming from terror. However, this talent also comes into play when she feels restless and uncertain, as she’ll go and hide somewhere cramped and dark for comfort. Her mother is able to find her all the time, when at home. There was a point that newborn Emery would only calm down if Sophie made it dark enough and made the right arrangements (use a small carrier, partially covering the crib with a blanket, etc). It is near impossible to draw her out unless it is her mother, sisters, and family friends (or her few close friends).

DURABILITY AND ENHANCED STRENGTH AND SENSES - Comes from merperson heritage. The primary example is her baby teeth that are notably sharp (and will get sharper once her baby teeth fall out) and can draw blood without much effort. Though, she is very careful about this. Another example would be her reaction to pain -- like how she may run into a door or glass with a terribly loud thud and she’d step back, blink, laugh, and continue running after a friend. She isn’t invincible and she can get hurt, but she is definitely more resilient from human children. Can she break bones? Yes! She isn’t yet at that point, however, as she is literally a kid.

INCLUDED: Love for music and rhythm, collect-and-gathering trinkets.

WHO THEY LIKE BETTER:

Given circumstances (refer to #1 personal headcanon), Emery prefers her mom. Though, if she wants to budge her mom or wants something her way, she’ll easily wiggle to bug her aunt Martha, Sophie’s youngest sister, to (try) and get it. Genuinely, there are times where Emery will prefer her aunts over her mom, if not because the three of them group together and indirectly bully Sophie into doing something for their niece.

WHO THEY TAKE AFTER MORE:

Physically, it is undeniable that she takes after Jade more. Blame the dominant genes on his end, but the gold tinge in her eyes, teal hairs, and sharp teeth are the biggest indications of this. I would also extend the thought that she takes on more Jade than one may realize -- if only because her own interactions aren’t as maliciously calculating as her father’s. There are core traits that blend in with Sophie’s, where the edge is there with an unhealthy amount of energy that needs to be burnt off. 

PERSONAL HEADCANONS:

Emery is the unexpected product of Jade and Sophie’s relationship when it was coming to a close. Their relationship ended as soon as they departed from NCR, unsure really what to make of another (as in, be it if they could be long-term partners or they needed to seek out others). They were intimate, friendly, perhaps confidants. But, without a proper title, it was better to depart from their teenage dreams before it spiraled out of control. The discovery was never disclosed. Sophie realized what was going on and refused to reach out. To interfere with what they agreed with - that chapter was over, he went else and so did she. Did she regret agreeing to part ways? Yes, but who’d be that selfish to drag him back? For all she knew, he found better somewhere in the wide world -- maybe even a mate too, which would make this situation extremely problematic.  In this situation, Emery is raised by her single mother and is unaware of her father and likewise, her father is completely unaware of her.

Emery’s concept of destruction and fixing all revolves around her mother. She has a long history of destroying the toys that Sophie has made for her (one of the closest ones being a large purple patchwork bear). But, any time something the stuffing is coming out or the bear is losing an eye, she happily walks over to her mother and Sophie fixes it. She doesn’t quite get there is a point of no-return for certain damages, but she is more than content that with this logic, her mom can fix anything. Hence why she’ll instruct people who ask her questions she doesn’t know (or if they’re upset) to “speak to mama!”

Lots of moray eel behaviors that she performs. A couple of them were mentioned before. But, I have more. One of them happens to be how she interacts with blankets and trying to fall asleep, She ends up rolling around it, wiggling a little helplessly, before laughing and rolling around with it on the mattress. She also does it because she’s a little too excited to go to bed with her mom (both have shared the same mattress)!

Lettie and Martha’s MagiCam accounts, as Sophie either doesn’t have one (or recently made one post-NCR which is private), have some photos and videos of their lovely niece! She happens to pop into photos per accident, only because she’s wondering why her aunts are attempting ten poses and she thinks they’re trying to dance. A fun game that Martha plays with her follows is ‘spot the emmy’ (’emmy’ is her nickname from the hatter trio / sophie specifically calls emery ‘eri’ (pronounced like ending of emery) or tulip/tuli) where a large background photo is available and people have to guess where emery is hiding (in plain sight)! It’s quite popular! There’s also videos of Sophie and Emery interacting, which shows some parts of their personal life. For example, one would be where Sophie squats down tp Emery’s level and ‘blep’ her tongue/stick out her tongue, which Emery does in turn. The ‘bleping’ is something Emery already does.

#( by brackish waters they’d dance on the edge ; unsure of where the next step will end | jade && sophie ) #( checkbooks inquiries and much ; answered asks ) #bigcasinc #[ i originally was going to fill this out as if j.ade made profile(s) for the kids he made up for his fanfic ] #[ but then my mind went ':)' and then I did this ] #[ also yes everyone is getting a profile write-up ] #[ the storyline might be sad af .. but i will die for emery bc i might've spent too much time making her a real character mkgdfg ] #long post tw #long post

[worldsandcenturiesfunposting]

There's a rather popular post (at about 48 thousand notes at the moment) going around Tumblr that in all irony is about how artists shouldn't be upset that their original work isn't getting popular on tumblr, especially in comparison to fan art, and that artists should appreciate every like/reblog/follower rather than going after just reblogs.

The post itself is incredibly poorly made and seems to exist for no other reason than to guilt trip artists for being upset that their hard work leads to nothing. After all, as the great philosopher Luigi once said: “Have you ever experienced a time where no matter how hard you tried, you failed, and the time you spent trying felt wasted?”

But this isn't going to be a point by point refutation of that post. Instead I would much rather just give my thoughts on this whole issue in of itself. Being an artist on Tumblr and not being one of the really popular (or even sort of popular) guys is difficult to say the least because it seems like everything is stacked against you. Only 4 or 5 of the tags you put in will actually be used in the search results, there's  a new algorithm in which people's dashboards will be sorted by popularity rather than chronological posts, and in order to get popular you need to rely on people going out of their way to host your art on their own blogs.

There's a lot Tumblr doesn't make at all clear about that only confuses things more. As shit as that post I mentioned was, it did teach me one big thing. Likes aren't entirely the “thoughts and prayers” button for this horrid natural disaster of a website but actually do influence how soon and often your posts show up in search results. Now a really popular artist would of course get tons more likes and their art would be featured far more as a result, but at least the feature is more than a shittier version of Deviantart's favorites feature.

Suffice to say if you're someone who's looking to get an audience, it's difficult. I think this is a point a lot of people don't understand. They think that people who are upset at all of this are upset that they're not popular, and that's the end of it. No nuance to it. They want to be popular for the sake of being popular.

Why do people post this stuff online? Why post a picture online? Why not keep it on your desktop until the sun burns out? Maybe because being online gives it more longevity and reduces the risk of it being lost if your computer breaks? Sure, but why not post it in your drafts where no one but you is able to see it?

Why do people post stuff online? Because they want other people to see it. So trying to demonize people for being upset over not having their art seen by many people or spread around is silly because one of the biggest points about posting it online is specifically so people can see it. Just like when you make a blog post, you do so because you want people to read it or when you post a video to Youtube, it's because you want people to watch it.

In order for people to see that art, it will need to get exposed to them and the best way to do that is through reblogs which is why so many artists, myself included, get incredibly salty over the subject. When someone reblogs something, ideally that picture would be presented to everyone who follows the reblogger. One person reblogs a picture and 5 or 20 or even 300 people would see the same picture and some of them might like it or reblog it themselves. That very fact that it only takes one person to cause that snowball effect makes the whole situation all the more infuriating.

Now can people's art can also be exposed through the search tags? Sure. After all, if you're starting off on the website and have no prior set ups or accounts to lead people from, that is where you're going to start. But not only are the amount of tags that can be used limited, but depending on what you tag it as, it can be swamped pretty hard. The shitty post said that fan art gets popular and that it's dumb to complain that original art isn't as popular as fan art. However, even completely pandering to the most popular things isn't an assured success. If you post something in a tag for a popular and active fanbase, that runs the risk of your picture barely being seen because of how active those tags would be.

If I post a picture in the Steven Universe tag and I'm only able to get maybe 2 likes on the art, it's not going to be seen on the popular setting which is what most people are going to look at because I don't have enough active followers reblogging or even liking the picture enough for those likes to make a difference with the search results. On the newest setting, it might be completely swamped by dozens of other new pictures (of varying quality) and especially easy to skim over by the much smaller crowd of people who visit that setting.

Is it any wonder why so many artists are desperate for reblogs?

What the artists want varies. Some want to be the biggest most popular artists around and sit among the gods. Me on the other hand, I'm more interested in a smaller but more active/dedicated following and you can't really get that unless you have a ton of people following you since statistically, a large portion of followers in general aren't going to be very active but the more followers you have, the more likely it is that some of them will be.

For example, for the longest time (and what I ultimately gave up on because it simply would not work) I was trying to set something up where people could ask me questions for the webcomic. They'd ask something about some alien species and I'd answer it through a comic. It's something I thought would be good fun and that I'd really enjoy. The amount of people who need to ask questions isn't the hundreds or even dozens. If I got like 3 or 4 questions a month, that would be pretty good for me. How would I ensure I'd get people to partake in that? Only if my art is exposed to people who (whether they knew it or not) would be interested in such a thing. How would that happen? One way is that it gets spread around just enough that it eventually crosses paths with those kinds of people.

There could be a whole niche that's exactly the sort of people an artist's work would appeal to and they might never see that art because it simply never crosses their path.

Another big thing is that everyone has a different standard of success. I know I'm not a big artist on Tumblr. My standard of success is getting 10 notes on a picture. Most of the time I can barely break 5. Take note that on my art account, I have 355 followers. Some might be following tons of people and thus will always miss my art. Some followed me for different reasons than the sort of picture I most recently posted. Some might have logged off of Tumblr, forgotten their password, and their blog is effectively dead. But out of 355, you'd think that I'd manage to get 10 rinky dink notes but no.

When someone popular does reblog my art, it can often break 50 notes which is above and beyond. This tells me that it's not even necessarily the quality of the art but simply a gamble as to if someone would be willing to take that leap and press the reblog button or not. Tumblr, contrary to what some people might think concerning artist popularity, is NOT a meritocracy. It is more luck than Vegas itself.

So contrary to what some might assume, not only is everyone salty about this not demanding the world, but even getting a small success requires art to be spread around as much as possible.

Now obviously no one owes you success or popularity. Some people are only around to browse. Some people's blogs wouldn't be fitting of the sorts of art that I post. And of course there's the fact that they just might not like the particular picture in general. I think if the success to failure ratio was much more even or better, it would be much easer to accept that some pictures are just duds and move on to the next.

But at the end of the day when you put something out there that you worked hard on and think is good and it gets nowhere, it kind of sucks. When the same thing happens over and over again, it is honestly demotivating. The fact you're putting this out online, for among other reasons people to see, it sort of says that what you post isn't good or worth seeing. Of course that's not what goes on in the mind of the people who only like the art or look at it and scroll by, but it is something that gets internalized.

Or maybe it is just me. I'm writing this because I know a lot of people get really salty about this stuff and I want to try and explain it as clear, calmly, and rationally as I can, but a lot of this stuff is also strictly my personal feelings and opinions too.

I think it's also sort of magnified by the fact that popular art becomes popular (or is just spread around a lot) mainly because people go out of their way to reblog it. There's that additional extra personal step to it that isn't quite present on Deviantart or Youtube where it's more based on algorithms. If you can't get popular on Youtube, well that's because Youtube's coding is a shit. You can't get popular on Tumblr, well that's because no one wants to spread your work.

Now for other people and not myself, they try to make a living off of their art. In that case, being dismissive is even worse. Saying “Just appreciate every like/follower you get and be happy with what you post” doesn't work because that doesn't buy food or pay bills. This may be a small population of artists on Tumblr but one of the examples used in that horrid shitpost was someone who's tags in their post was complaining about just that and the person who made the shitpost not only didn't address that, but likely didn't think a thing about it.

If people's art isn't getting spread around where it could meet the eyes of potential buyers, quite simply, they aren't going to be able to sell their art. It's not because their art is bad, it's just that it hasn't been exposed to enough people to really take off. Not everyone selling art has art worth selling but what that person posts gets only a few likes and is seen by relatively no one, that's not exactly a call you can make at the moment.

If there were ways to tell how many people have viewed a post outside of notes numbers, it would be a completely different situation. If 300 people looks at a picture and that picture only gets 2 likes, that would change the situation completely to which the artist could actually confidently say that what they're putting out genuinely doesn't interest people. Unfortunately no such feature exists. Even the stats/activity page is based entirely off of notes.

As I said before, this is a subject that gets a lot of artists salty. You might come across a post by an artist ranting and raving about how little likes help and how you should reblog their work. They may seem like an asshole but really, they're just extremely frustrated with how much things seem to be stacked against them on this website. It's no fun working on things and feeling as if the effort was wasted. They're certainly not self entitled.

If you do follow an art blog, I'd recommend reblogging something they do every so often to help them grow and move forward as an artist. Or if you find someone's art on Tumblr that you really like, reblog that too. The great thing about reblogs on Tumblr is that if you reblog something and then someone reblogs it from you and you delete that reblog, it remains on that other person's blog and exposed to their followers. You never know who will see the picture as a result of your reblogging.

Anyways I think I rambled on enough about this. It's a very touchy subject and difficult to get into words but I think I explained the situation well enough.

Tl'dr: Tumblr just isn't a good website for artists which is ironic because it advertises itself as a platform for creative people and is a place where a lot of artists post their work. Because of its poor design, it's very difficult for new artists or even just small art blogs in general to gain any traction and just leads to frustration.

#tumblr #art #reblogs

[violetsystems]

#personal

It’s the holidays here in the States again.  I’m taking a train out to the suburbs on Christmas day to visit my dad and his wife.  I bought her a board game called queen domino and him a gift pack from a coffee shop in Brooklyn.  That’s about the extent of my celebration other than taking my mom to see Star Wars.  I’m kind of over what anybody has to say about it.  I just know my mom really wanted to see it so it’s our way of celebrating.  My last day of work until the new year was yesterday.  Today I ran six miles and took a nap.  Most of the rest of it I sat and scolded myself over why I keep losing at magic down the street.  Things out here aren’t too awful.  I was out on the west side for a footwork practice last Saturday.  Most of the time I’m just a fly on the wall at those things.  I’m at least unassuming and just there to watch.  But these days I know everyone and it’s much more just an excuse to hang out and enjoy the music we all make.  I was leaving the event and a friend said I always walked around like a ninja.  He’s made comments about keeping tabs before.  At least by now everybody knows the context of why I’m low key.  I think some people have just begun to appreciate it.  I was never there to get big or have an ego.  I just liked the music.  People in clubs around here were pretentious and liked to cause trouble.  Mostly out of boredom and sometimes just collateral damage.  What I learned was to stay away.  Because my reputation follows me around here.  I don’t worry too much about it.  I stay accountable.  I stay away from people who don’t understand or respect what it takes to be me.  I work really hard at what i do and sometimes it goes unnoticed.  Yesterday around lunch the director of a community center on the West side dropped by my office to introduce their new artist in residence.  He is an animator and knows pretty much everyone I know in footwork on the West side.  It’s a small world.  Even smaller when you think about how people value some connections over others.  For me the world, its distance, and the possibilities have evolved over time.  And the more I begin to accept my fate to some extent the easier it is to see what directions to take.

I think it says more to be involved for the right reasons regardless of the outcome.  I have a history of being ignored.  You can’t go undetected forever thankfully.  When I think about it, it can be such a luxury to be under the radar.  For years I don’t think people realized how much working a regular job helped me explore the world with my own eyes.  It’s not something that goes away.  After I return I still have something like six weeks of paid vacation left to take.  This was one of the first years I laid low and tried to get things in order personally.  Maybe I made some people uncomfortable with what I’ve been trying to say.  Maybe I just realized it wasn’t worth broadcasting my moves out loud anymore.  Some times people pay attention.  Some times people ask questions.  I learned all those interactions the hard way by myself through trial and error.  Which were genuine and which were fake.  Sometimes in the most horrible ways possible like being detained in five thousand miles away in a foreign country all by yourself.  The amount of horror stories I’ve amassed could possibly fill a bookshelf of tragedies.  You live and you learn.  I try not to repeat the same mistakes.  This year being sober from alcohol really was more about having more focus.  I expected a lot more out of myself.  At the same time, I’m also very lazy by nature.  I enjoy sleeping most of all.  That and eating. The amount of things that disturb my sleep are minimal most importantly losing rest by making bad decisions swayed by instinct.  Basically I got sloppy.  Being lazy is one thing.  You run six miles on your day off and you sort of expect to have earned it.  Sloppy is another thing entirely.  Sloppy isn’t effective.  It’s sometimes a waste of good energy.  If I look back I’ve evolved slowly over the years from absolute chaos to a sort of highly contained weirdness.  A friend from the Netherlands who has known me forever said the first thing people told him about me was that I was weird.  It’s something I’ve never been able to fight against.  It’s a perception that doesn’t follow me to a footwork event either.  It’s always been hard for me to hide my contempt for the parts of society I find hypocritical.  After awhile I forgot that ignoring it even mattered to me just by focusing on being a better person.  I sought out and found more positive relationships.  Sometimes those even found me first.

If anything lately I feel peaceful.  I think the more at peace you are mentally, the easier it is to think.  A lot things pop into my head day after day.  Sometimes if you have a good conversation with someone you enjoy talking to, it exposes you to things in a very different way.  It has always been exciting to share things with people.  How much that means to people over the years varies wildly.  I cut off a lot of people in my life that weren’t there in my best interests.  I don’t maintain friendships to hold up some illusion of everyone getting along.  It’s very simple to start from scratch and sometimes in your best interests.   I took a flight five years ago to Seoul where I knew no one and stayed at a hostel.  It was the first time I threw myself in the chaos of a public living space.  It forced me out of my shell a bit.  South Korea is much different from America.  I’m sure most of the rest of the world is much different from America at this point.  Chicago is home to me yet I can go anywhere really.  I don’t really have plans to change things at the moment.  I would like to visit other places and I probably will.  I’ve challenged myself enough for that to be a matter of fact.  There’s no real pressure on that when you have six weeks to run away from the office.  How did I get here is beyond me.  Nobody really listens to me so why would I explain it anyway.  What makes sense to me is that I’ve always tried to stay positive about things.  Do what I do and try to be me.  Right now I don’t really need to try.  Maybe how I got to this point sounds exhausting to some people.  It’s kind of like running.  After you go through with it, you realize what you are capable of.  And you learn to rest easier.  You can plan your life more efficiently More time for rest.  More incentive to be lazy.  Which is what we all really need is a more restful life.  The time to actually do so.  And the time to enjoy getting tired too.  I’m not planning on leaving the house on New Year’s Eve this year.  I’ll probably hang out and talk to friends on the internet thousands of miles away like I usually do.  I’m not really bitter about 2017.  There’s never a shortage of work to do.  I’m sure there’s no shortage of rest at the other end of the tunnel.  I don’t really believe in that no sleep until we’re dead kind of stuff.  I added HBO to my cable package today so I could possibly not leave my bed the entire week I have off.  It was only last year I was in an entirely different place mentally.  If you are looking for an excuse to stay and organize your calendars for 2018 you have my full support.  Steaming movies from my bed.  <3 Tim

[glopratchet]

economy

On the borders of the Nation of Galilee customs inspectors A certain type of mafia-like organization has risen called Orc Intelligence Service or "O I " where these band of smugglers are concerned about one thing, and that is making money just another form of control over their trade so they imposed some of their own such as "inspecting" any merchants or messengers entering there lands, Mostly to scare off the busiest of them and hitting those carrying the most valuable goods S of infrastructure W History/Current events: Be they young or old, rich or poor; nearly everyone has a water filter at their home This fact has made finding employment as a plumber quite lucrative during this time period The infrastructure of the Developed World is such that it requires millions of miles of pipes to carry water to people's homes Why so much pipe is required is something manufacturers of said pipe don't want you to ask too many questions about local governments, and paid for via taxes However, Water is also one of the black markets most bartered-for necessities It should be noted that whether someone has internal (drinkable) or external (toilet) plumbing is the greatest indicator of their social class Most militia types are easily bored and anxious to prove their virility; impressing a woman by fixing her pipes will win you much love and affection (or at least some dirty weekend opportunites) up by local governments to fix problems such as leaking pipes and broken water mains Such things may seem incidental or even triffling to some but they can causes less-than-favorable conditions when their effects multiply over time Of course, the most important aspects of employing plumbers is finding and retaining them Water is probably the most essential thing for your civilization after food and shelter Without water people will very likely die within several days (depending on the climate) serve the public and make money To do this they must advertise to get more customers, which involves paying people to put catchy pro-tap water slogans ("Splash a little happiness into your loved one's day give them Ivivine! It's the healthy choice!") on subways and buses or just plain old handing out fliers in malls There's also the problem of getting new plumbers to the right location working in multiple sectors Some plumbers, for example, have taken side jobs as repo men because their skill in finding and unclogging pipes can be used on repossessed machinery, such as when a manufacturer has been declared bankrupt Every plumber trying to make a living doesn't have this luxury, however A more direct approach is required in those instances This "unsold merchandise," is a pipe-based system It seems simple enough and is quite clever really; you just have a big valve to stop the water coming into your house It's what the rest of the pipe network does after that initial valve restricts the flow that can get confusing and messy On top of the awkwardness of some specific buildings not having individually-restricted access, there are entire districts where one large water tower supplies most people with their clean drinking water on account of it being an absolute necessity; anyone caught not using a plumber when their pipes leak may be imprisoned for violation of their civil rights The ones giving clean water to you directly have no reason to reproach you in any way or else they might not get paid for fixing the problem ? Some strictness may differ in different places but the fact that plumbing was ever allowed to progress this far was more a result of authorities being unwilling to challenge something as mundane and "unworthy" of attention as dirty water It was assumed that, in the pursuit of maintaining an advanced, modern standard of living, someone ought to take the initiative to ensure that society does not degenerate into filthy conditions of disease-ridden squalor Year 368 End of Year Disappointments Academically, it has been a somewhat disappointing year for you Most knowledgable students seem to grasp the basics of what they study within the first few months Remaining time mainly seems to be devoted to filling in minor details and doing practice problems Most kids shift their attention to more productive fields such as Athletics or Arts Some kids try to pursue both at the same time; "basketball scholars" various plumbers' and distribution board workers' trade unions Folk from some water districts are allowed to own firearms after taking a short training course, although most don't have time to hunt with such a demanding job already Each has a great deal of influence in local politics as well as connections to various outside organizations, such as the Ivory Tower and the Shamblers' Guild Those that do tend to be Cowboy types, more accustomed to weapons than their urban co-workers increases by 5% due to the end of year expenses There are usually no price reductions anywhere else at year end This is covered by savings elsewhere, however Year 369 The Quala Quandary Current Year Your biggest current problem is the issue opposite of overpopulation; Quala is severely lacking in population, ranking below even some of the shifter-only towns, as well as one of the hill tribe camps still works but it seems fewer and fewer people are desiring to work in such a hostile environment It's become slightly cheaper due to lower demand, but the drastic shortage of skilled workers pushes it right back up again Your current effective total only drops 2% at the beginning of Year 369, Nobody has died nor gone hungry due to lack of water but the situation is looking grim, what will you do in the future? a variety of sizes; coins the size of a nickel, dime, quarter, half dollar and one dollar Paper money can be found in $1, $5, $10, $20 and $50 denominations Most residents of Holgard rely on an electronic banking system that has no use for coins, the smaller coins and all numbers lower than a 5 cent coin are now rarely encountered of a skute, a 1 skute, 3 skutes, 5 skutes and 10 skutes No vendor would ever accept anything less than a 5 skute coin in payment for their products or services As part of the banking system, all vendors who accept money are tied into as a credit or debit station coins but aren't actually coins at all They have zero engraved wording on them and are perfectly smooth, hand-sized discs of gold which were some of the first currency used in Overton They are accepted by every sentient and some non-sentient creatures (nonitionally kobold tribes) as a universal form of currency and nobody knows exactly where they come from though various theories abound Paper money consists either of bank notes or gold certificates less than the paper they are printed on; should you find some bits of paper on the ground, you can pick it up, tear it up and throw it in a fire It will create more warmth than the money could ever buy! The next biggest form of currency after the gold skutes is jerrik nil which comes in the following denominations: ( all rare coins dating from the days before mass production) 1 nil, 5 nil, 10 nil and 50 nil : nil, a blue vial holding liquid and a glass cigar tube holding dark green leaves The liquid has no smell or taste and is antiseptic A person can swallow 1 vial of the liquid to hide all signs of disease within one minute, they will excrete the antiseptic as waste so cannot be reused for science experiments or further medicating is known by all educated people of Quala but only a few are aware of the antiseptic properties If an alchemist created 6 vials of antiseptic, it would be worth 1 gold skute coin Another 10 skute coins would be required to make a recipe The alchemist would give it to a physician who could then sell each vial for 5 silver skutes Each 1 vial of antiseptic needs 200 grams of sugar, 50 grams of magnesium and 100 grams of sodium chloride to create thoroughly mix water with an appliance that uses electricity to split the water into hydrogen and oxygen molecules In a separate appliance, the remaining oxygen is filtered out and 2 electrons are added to each molecule of water which creates "split water " This splits 2 hydrogens away from each oxygen " Sodium hydroxide is created by combining sodium carbonate and sulfuric acid "sodium hydroxide nah This step requires 80 grams of pure sodium hydroxide, 50 grams of water and 40 grams of sulfuric acid Finally the last step requires 60 grams of nitric acid, this turns the sodium hydroxide into what it is known as "Nah " This method uses a lot of electricity but can result in a more purity than any other method a person to judge whether a person is healthy or hot by feeling their wrist for a pulse However, an observant spouse may notice acne on the face which means illness is on its way This can be averted by consuming 1 vial magnesium and 800ml of water mixed together (don't consume more than 3 vials of magnesium a week or it will result in diarrhea it becomes serious your nose will be completely stopped up by mucus and swallowing food becomes difficult At this point you may only be able to get liquid nourishment into yourself and it would have to be a mixture of milk and butter with antiseptic But it can be cured by 1 vial of iodine Step five is the final stage where you develop asthma, after this you are finished it becomes serious your nose will be completely stopped up by mucus and swallowing food becomes difficult At this point you may only be able to get liquid nourishment into yourself and it would have to be a mixture of milk and butter with antiseptic But it can be cured by 1 vial of iodine Step five is the final stage where you develop asthma, after this you are finished Finally in step five, Metal masters can understand Quala's complex web of ley lines and subterranean veins Cleaning and are taught by the 7 metals ( pronounced: Met-al-leen ) of which there are 16 total Of the 16 a student is to memorize and be tested on the following 7: Gold, Silver, Iron, Copper, Lead, Tin and Mercury Master crafters must be 25 years old, They must have the relevant social skill at rank 10, and the relevant crafting skill at rank 15 Crafters should have their main focus on their chosen field with 2 other supportive fields as interest During character creation you get: 1 crafting skill at 3+, 1 other crafting or social skill at 1+, and all other skills at 5+, unless advice says otherwise This usually gives people something to put in their letter of introduction 'overall suitability' to be a personal crafting apprentice Some just like you and have some basic skill in a field you've shown promise in being able to understand Not all master crafters are militant fighter types, and some are proper thugs who just hide behind their social ranks There is at least 1 master crafter in every large village, but there can be up to 5 in the largest ones, and even then that isn't a guarantee of much at all skills, for a very high price These places attract 'hopefuls' from all over the Quala region Some abilities you can look out for are: healing ability specialization (Curing Terminal Diseases), Poison crafting specialization (crafting poisons of different Listah region creatures), Metals specialization (artifacts and magical jewelry components), Weapon Specialization (Battlefield explosives and grenades) There are around 1 that must be followed This includes guidelines on having proper sterile fashion which can be found here: Death should be instant and not drawn out Anything that does is not of a healing mending nature but rather a disease one a matter of qualifying one aspect of a patient without addressing another, and other times differentiating illnesses so incredibly minor that they would almost never actually be a factor in treatment is called the Imperial System, and has been around almost as long as Frome since it was taken inspiration from the old Empire, and spread through the civilizing world how far down the root of the problem is While it is easy to see a cracked pipe ,broken filter, or collapsed underground well or surface reservoir you only really know if it is due to wear and tear, botched repair attempt, or outright fraud when you examine it for quite a while make one big master poster on what and how to give clean water matches were allowed to make our own small ones about the facts we felt were most important to know Numb's handy tips that actually aren't that helpful so much as funny to him are under his character profile " Now you know a lot more of the world around you Now with Mels advice out of the way, a lot, but you'll be focusing on conventional caravans, in that it your most familiar and safest way to ship The main route runs through Lilac Hills towards Fallran which as of late has been a rather prosperous town due to its location Its not really more than a village though If your security is up to the task of keeping your caravans safe then two things can become possible ways to make money; establishing yourself as a go-between for suppliers and the developing villages, and protection money from the same to the region are attracting people, while some just see it as easy farming land Either way people are coming and with that comes profit for those who arrived first you, but any new villages popping up will make you the go-to guy as they say Granted this is a hunting ground for bigger fish than you and they have bigger caravans, but if you build up steadily and make ourselves known then the message to leave us be will be sent swiftly Keeping order as an caravan guard isn't really much of a choice, anyone who wants to travel needs protection, without it they won't last a month In fact you don't need to excessively pack at all since it's just as easy to take pride in a filling canteen than a heavy wooden barrel that could allow nemmersia to grow caravaneers lives a great deal easier since you no longer have to pack water to travel vast distances Hum Kyah, palidane caravaneer Year 368 NC From the journal of Melcar moon-farmer Spirits, this is truly my arch nemesis (with palidaine coming a close second) These flying bloodsuckers always ruin my day I had this demonic looking monster sitting in my canteen that I called Lucretia, just a nice name for a nice girl decided to fill his water jugs in my well and apparently this was an invitation for these winged undead horrors to nest and start raising their young in my water supply Never had a problem as bad until those giving clean water wagons started to come by more regularly, I always thought this would be a good spot to camp since it has a nice big tree and a nearby well Dendrin must be cursing me with these vile monsters 's preconception of vampires to an extent that's laughable, yet the myths are based on at least some truth Only way I was able to out right kill this one was to decapitate it while it tried to drain me like a sore(which is what I thought hurt at first) After that its mere proximity burnt it to a crisp Fortunate since I had no silver weapon or means to make such a thing (though that may not have killed it anyway) the republic council or just a group of like minded caravaneers? Well the giving clean water council does try to keep track of all major caravans, but it seems that this one has not registered and isn't affiliated with any giving clean water council They just license out people who decide they want to get into the business when you look at the major stations A hub that has everything, giving clean water even has a believed to be corrupt though, books the caravaneers to deliver their wares and then drives a hard bargain on when it comes time to collect payment(since they are already on the wrong side of the law if they aren't cops) a lot of waiting around for caravans and increased prices for overland travel Tis a silly system, but it works so who am I to judge and agree to set prices and limit business endeavors and governments, but caravaneers do seem to be free from such petty concepts as "ethics" and "morals" Doesn't matter if its dog eat dog or every man for themselves, as long as it's honest competition they don't care This lack of morals among caravaneers means they can do things that others would find objectionable without much criticism from their fellows Most common examples of this are the dominance of the drug industry just seems to be everywhere in the world and thanks to how easily grown and transportable it is, it really isn't going anywhere anytime soon The one organization that mostly fights against drugs because of the hefty profit they represent to the black market, aren't caravaneers, but Halbadges(well at least what's left of them) Since they are generally the only large criminal organization left in the shadows after the republic crackdowns in those urban centers Zodigoramulum produces it in abundance monopoly industry, were skutterings and tribals grow fungus for consumer and industrial use on hu-man half of jian home world, skutephasics is less common, but stil found qhere wealthy monsters who like the high live as well as outlaws Jicolby owns brand with Skoodily nood town slogan "Skooodily Skoodily go Skoodily Skoot" the following means Money is either transferred electronically for major transactions or still done with paper of sorts for regular ones Trade bars are rather large gold ingots that identify what business the owner is and can be used as payment at any Giving Clean Water trade hub(couldn't think of better name) Skute based drugs come in two varieties, one is a white powder comparable to cocaine, name starts with skoo zomething The GBCW provides these business repulsivies with a cut on their sales of the drugs 's black market since it is useful in producing both skoot and sloane, drugs very popular on the streets of First World metroplexes , the shells of scorp bugs provide Scoane and Skoodily skoo[i think], as well as the wrapping for most trade bars This has resulted in close ties between the GBCW and the ASA for drug purity control, also notes users health risks if excessive use And that's all folks! bricks of crude skutterings in trade bars, with occasional notes on drug purity Most forms of life that evolved under the twin suns Brenda and Kerry have a sort of gold lust The Skoodilyboz, as they once were called, are no exception This arrangement is looking to collapse soon asThe republic is nearing total collapse due to civil war soon, bands of mercenaries roving about and pillaging , though this is rare since the army is still effective at keeping major roads safe When this happens those with scruples go out and try to find relief effort stations to restock, the others cut deals with the bandits while evading the military Those that supply giving clean water eagerly await these disruptions as most of the time these are far better than sufficient for their needs as well "We don't have much now, but what we do have please help yourselves!" are the Burned Dogs and Red Warriors, both being allies of the Developed States of America currently at war with the Five demons is the color and weight of the coin Other than that pretty much anything goes, though some details are better than others A coin has a better chance of being accepted depending on how close it is to these standards You look the slight creature over as it fills you canteen, seems to be a simple creature that cares nothing for the outside world Your cuffs clank a bit as you raise your hands to grab the canteen done mostly by the illegal factions of the red warriors and the burned dogs There is a story that, during pressure from certain parties, backing was provided by the Church Of Joachim for good quality fake red warrior coins Joachim is easily identified because HE has the most faces on the coin There are no silver skute coins The best counterfeit metal for these is pewter, second best is lead This not only prevents trouble with the law, but also with rogue water smugglers who might steal or contaminate stored water from these locations accomplished through teams of professional smugglers stationed at various Points Of Water Resupply, generally small rural trading posts at the edge of the Kooluk Kingdom that will deal honorably with anyone representing a water smuggling craft across the northern borders of the KK through trackless desert wastes or by sea during long offshore journeys to isolated coasdt opperations Most water is traded to small resource gathering camps in the KK wasteland, though some is taken directly to Yellow Devil and Aftermath This prooves a good thing for both parties in that illegal shipments of Yellow Devil are much easier to make with full water barrels, and neither side needs to handle the stuff directly