#i forgot to cut my hair before the three weeks and i really wanna trim it now but i gotta wait :(

[frumdyke]

i been looking cute so many days in a row i hope i got enough vibey outfits to make it to a week

#i dont usually get dressed every day but.... i been feeling extra pretty recently #i forgot to cut my hair before the three weeks and i really wanna trim it now but i gotta wait :( #wore my rings for the first time in a while today and they make me wanna pose constantly

[tarosin]

the great adventures of y/n and ranboo

this is an extra part to the great adventures series

summary: part two to the angst imagine (the not so great adventures of y/n tommy tubbo jack and ranboo) it’s a happier ‘ending’ please read what is written in bold

this is an “alternative ending” around 15 years into the future this doesn’t mean this is actually how the series is going to end im writing it now and including it as part of series as their friendship is already established i can confirm y/n and the group are going to have a happy ending when the series eventually comes to an end this also does not mean the series is anywhere near the end i plan on continuing the series as vlogs come out, i feel the need to confirm this now love between y/n and ranboo in this imagine is completely platonic

it had been about a month since you last streamed whereas ranboo continued to stream a few days after the fallout as he wanted to make sure you were going to be okay. even though ranboo knew this huge fallout would eventually happen, it still hurt him, especially since he knew there was no way to prevent it, the four of you in the same house mixed with the stress of being some of the most-watched content creators made living rather difficult. it was like walking on eggshells as you didn’t want to interrupt someone's stream, then there was the additional stress of obsessive fans finding out where the four of you lived, you still remember that day very vividly. you were sat in between tubbo and ranboo watching the office whilst Tommy was in an interview when you received a message from your mod.

Chris: hey y/n I received this message earlier I don’t want to scare you, but maybe get the locks changed. someone sent a message claiming this is your address *image of message from ‘fan’*

it didn’t take long for tubbo and ranboo to receive a message from their mods saying the same thing

“holy shit...”

“chances are Tommy has the message too. we shall go check around the house when Tommy is done with the interview.”

luckily no one ever showed up to the house, but the fact some people were so obsessed to the point they found your address was enough to put everyone in the house on edge. and now it was just you and ranboo in the house. you didn’t feel safe as even though ranboo promised to not let anything happen, you didn’t wanna risk it.

“we should move. there’s no point in having such a big house for two people, what are we going to use the extra space for heh? hide and seek with people who have our address. no thank you. I say we move leave this mess behind and start completely over, hell I’d feel safer in the us and that’s saying something”

ranboo agreed the house didn’t have the happiest memories attached to it anymore, it hurt walking past the hallway as it would bring back the memory of him crying into the crook of y/ns neck whilst tubbo left the house.

“let’s do it, I’ll do an early stream then we can look for houses. go take a shower. I’ll stay close to the door so you’re safe, then you can stay in my room whilst I stream, you can join me if you would like.”

“you’re being very protective all of a sudden...let me guess you got the message from our mods announcing the obsessive fans are at it again?”

“go take a shower.”

“no.”

ranboo ended up picking you up, carried you to the bathroom and turned the shower on before putting you on your feet.

“quick shower I’ll see you later.”

and with that he left the room shutting the door behind him, 30 minutes later you got changed and followed ranboo to his room ready to join him whilst he streams

“hey boo, can I join you? I kinda wanna get into streaming again.”

“I'm so glad you asked, I was going to do a face cam stream, if that’s okay?”

“of course.”

you grabbed his mask and glasses whilst he locked the door so you were both safe. “here you go.”

“thank you.”

the pair of you started the stream and it was honestly going well, you were having so much fun you forgot about all the negative things currently going on, you began to understand why ranboo continued streaming as for those 2-4 hours of streaming it felt as though everything was back to normal. 3 hours later the two of you ended stream and Twitter went crazy. tweets ranged from fans talking about how ranboo was streaming with you, how Tommy was in chat, and how tubbo was modding as people who mentioned anything about their address being leaked were banned by tubbo. the one thing that caught ranboos eye was fan art and a picture of you both from the stream captioned ‘they’re platonic soulmates your honour’ ranboo went as far to like, retweet and comment on it.

ranaltboo: glad you liked the stream it was great having y/n back, think I might make them play tattletail next stream

definitelynoty/n: isn’t that the Furby game that terrified you in 2021? bring it on boo!

Twitter went crazy over this interaction, you had finally come back to social media after months of being inactive, and it looked like you were here to stay. a month later you and ranboo moved out of the house and sold it to your aunt and her wife and their three adopted children, you explained the situation and even changed the locks for them all before they moved in.

“Please do tell us if anyone shows up who shouldn’t be. we changed the locks as you were aware- oh hello little one.”

you noticed one of their children decided to cling onto your leg

“I like your hair it’s colourful!”

“Indeed it is.”

“WOAH A GIANT!”

the little girl let go of your leg and ran to ranboo asking to be picked up, unsure of what to do he looked towards you. however, you were too busy laughing about the fact he was compared to a giant.

“I'm so sorry uh if you want to pick her up you can, you don’t have to.”

“pick me up, tall man... I want to be taller!”

ranboo ended up standing next to you with an arm around your waist whilst the child sat on his shoulders happily playing with his hair.

“ranboo do not drop that child.”

“I didn't- I didn't plan on it y/n.”

eventually, it was time to leave and the child reluctantly let go of ranboo.

“bye-bye!! hope to see you soon!”

soon enough you were at a smaller house, far away from the old house, leaving behind the negative feelings. it could only get better, a week later the pair of you had settled into the new house, it finally felt like home. you and ranboo were now streaming full time again, safe to say the two of you were thriving and closer than ever.

“so I’m thinking if I hit the sub-goal today I’ll let chat pick what colour I dye my hair.”

“make it higher, and I’ll let you cut my hair.”

“Are you being serious? oh my god!”

a few minutes later you took to Twitter to announce you were going live.

y/n: kidnapping children in the sims with ranboo psst check the subgoal.

within 20 minutes you had hit the sub-goal, chat ended up picking another random neon colour for your hair.

“right hair dye and the cutting stream will be this weekend, now let’s go back to kidnapping.”

tubbo, tommy, and jack felt awful for what happened and went back to the house where you used to live, hoping to see you there so they could apologise, tubbo knocked on the door only to be met by a young child.

“my sister watches you on twitch!”

“oh that’s lovely.. are y/n and ranboo here?”

an older woman came to the door.

“oh no, I’m sorry dear they both moved out, but they left this box and said to give it to you if you returned.”

“do you know where they moved to?”

“I'm sorry dear, I'm not allowed to tell you that information for safety reasons.”

“I understand, thanks anyway.”

they ended up going back to jacks where the three of them had been staying.

“We should open the box.”

tubbo opened the box and emptied the items onto the floor, inside was the rocks y/n handed tubbo from every trip, photos of the group, a necklace y/n had gifted to Tommy a day before the argument, and a hat y/n had taken from jack during a trip to a zoo.

“what the fuck!”

“holy shit!”

“they really kept all these in hopes we would come back?”

“and now we’re too late.”

it was now the weekend you and ranboo were ready to stream, you stood leaning on ranboo who was significantly smaller than you as you lowered the chair he sat on.

“starting stream...now.”

after the starting soon intro played, you explained what was happening to any new viewers or people who didn’t watch the stream.

“so I’m about to become Edward Scissorhands...I love that film can we watch it later?”

“yeah mhm sure!”

you didn’t know this but your ex best friends were watching and ever so often would show up in the chat.

“so boo, what are we doing with your hair today?”

“just a trim please darling?”

“This is y/ns hairdressers you get what I’m capable of!”

you ended up doing a pretty good job of cutting ranboos hair, even he was impressed.

“I didn’t doubt you for a minute!”

“mhm sure thing please don’t mess up my hair tall one!”

soon enough you had the dye on. 45 minutes later you left to wash it off, leaving ranboo to entertain stream,

“chat I think I missed some of their hair it’s okay, I own scissors, I’ll just cut it.. speaking of they did a great job, didn't they? I honestly expected them to mess up.”

a few minutes later you joined ranboo again and spent the next few hours talking with chat. tubbo, tommy, and jack stayed the entire time. they loved the fact you and ranboo were able to stay close after what happened, Tommy noticed you were still wearing the necklace he got you many years ago and spammed them chat with him tubbo and jack

Tommy: THEYRE WEARING THE NECKLACE!!

jack: so what? they clearly don’t wanna talk to us.

tubbo: shut up listen to them.

“chat why are we spamming platonic soulmates?”

“they’ve been saying it all over Twitter, look on trending y/n.”

you started to blush slightly at all the amazing artwork soon enough the stream came to an end, after saying goodbye the pair of you sat together going through fan art. unfortunately the one that caught your eye was this one twitter post where the artist had created a drawing of a piece of paper with you, ranboo, tommy, tubbo, and jack, however the paper was ripped separating you and ranboo from the others, captioned ‘it was never meant to be’ this clearly upset ranboo as he took off his mask and glasses placing them on the desk before going straight to his bed.

“boo…are you okay?”

“Are you tired of me? are you going to leave next?”

“what? no of course not! I could never get tired of you, why do you ask?”

“everyone else has left..i thought they cared about us, i knew it would happen eventually and i couldn’t stop it, i’m sorry, y/n, please don’t hate me.”

you sat on the edge of the bed looking down at the floor,

“come here.”

you watched him roll over to face you.

“you know there’s no one else who I'd rather spend the rest of my life with, right…if i hated you i wouldn’t have moved house with you. it’s not your job to fix everything and make everything better, you’re a streamer for christ sake not a therapist.”

“i guess so.. can we watch that thing you were on about for ages.”

“edward scissorhands? “

“mhm!”

you could tell he wanted to be distracted, so you agreed and put the film on, towards the end you began to get upset due to how overwhelming everything was.

“Why are you crying?”

“poor Edward.”

“come here.”

ranboo pulled you into a hug you laid there crying into his chest, he knew that wasn’t the reason you were crying, but he wasn’t about to make you tell him, luckily it didn’t take long for you to stop crying as ranboo quickly distracted you.

“ranboo..”

“yeah y/n?”

“I feel bad i didnt realise how much pressure was on you whilst everyone was arguing.”

“Hey, it’s okay, is that what’s upsetting you?”

“mhm.”

“don’t blame yourself, i’d do it all over again to keep you safe and happy..then again i didn’t do a good job on keeping you happy.”

“you did..you were always there for me even when i gave up on social media, you shared your room with me after i started receiving creepy messages from that obsessed fan, hell you even went on adventures with me even though it was clear you hadn’t been sleeping, just so we could spend time together and forget about what was happening. you mean a lot to me boo.”

“i love you.”

“i love you too bud, I’m tired.”

“go to sleep, it’s been a long day.”

“okay.”

“you just staying there?”

“yes.”

“oh, oh okay, goodnight.”

about a year later the two of you were still thriving, ranboo got you a promise ring a few months earlier.

“heh what’s this for?”

“as your best friend i promise to stay by your side and keep you safe and make sure that you’re happy, in other words you're stuck with me till the end of time.”

“boo…i really don’t know what to say.. thank you so much!”

“you don’t have to say anything!”

you ended up going out to buy him a promise ring when he started the stream and decided to take your cousins with you now that they were a little older. ranboo was doing a facecam stream when the door slammed open revealing you covering your three younger cousins ranboo not realising you were hiding them from the camera, instinctively stood up covering the camera

“ranboooooo!”

“yes you three and y/n ,what do you need?”

“we would like to watch a film!”

“Okay, i’ll go put one on, y/n will you entertain chat?”

“sure thing boo boy!”

once they left you sat fixing your hair forgetting you were wearing the ring chat noticed this and went crazy, so did Tommys group with tubbo and jack.

tubbo: that’s a ring, right??

jack: yeah looks like it.

Tommy: holy shit I always thought if anyone was gonna get married it would be tubbo and y/n, they were inseparable.

tubbo: hilarious.

jack: it could just be a ring, no one mentioned marriage tommy!

Tommy: we should congratulate them.

jack: at least let them explain fucking hell.

soon enough ranboo came back into the room,

“sorry one of them found it hilarious to steal my glasses...”

“they’re little shits i swear to god but i love them.”

you both noticed chat going crazy and both looked at each other before laughing.

“i'm sorry, i can’t take you serious in the mask and glasses!”

“i can’t take you serious with neon hair, but here we are!”

“rude!”

you and ranboo quickly put an end to the rumours,

“no we’re not engaged or married, it is a promise ring. no they’re not our children, they’re y/ns cousins they just spend a lot of time here..chat stop calling me and y/n parents and comparing us to phil that’s not..that’s not how it works okay!”

“parent arc!”

“y/n, don’t encourage them!”

“it’s a little bit funny!”

soon enough the bit came to an end and eventually ranboo ended the stream.

“hey boo look what i got you”

you handed him a little black box, inside was a ring similar to yours

“i promise to always stick around and be here for you”

“oh my god”

ranboo tackled you into a hug thanking you several times for his rings. you and ranboo were living your best life meanwhile jack, tommy, and tubbo were stuck dealing with the guilt of what happened, but they’re weren’t giving up that easy. they wanted you both back, that’s when you received a notification, tommyinnit has sent you a message request: hey y/n can we talk..please?

taglist

@dumb-chaotic-bi-energy @uselesssapphickitten @l0ver0fj0y @etheriaaly @xx-smiley-xx @hawarun @kylobensgirl @cawcaw-pretty-thing @reverse-iak @renleicrashed @augustine-is-joy @c1loudee

#mcyt x reader #mcyt fanfiction #mcyt writing #mcyt imagines #mcyt imagine #mcyt reader insert #mcyt fluff #ranboo x you #ranboo x reader #ranboo imagine #ranboo x y/n #ranboo fluff #tubbo x y/n #tubbo x reader #tubbo x you #tubbo imagine #tubbo angst #tommyinnit angst #tommyinnit x you #tommyinnit x y/n #tommyinnit x reader #tommyinnit imagine #jack manifold imagine #jack manifold x y/n #jack manifold x you #jack manifold x reader #jack manifold angst #dsmp reader insert #dsmp imagine #dsmp fanfic

[plaidbooks]

The R Drug part 4

A/N: I’m so sorry this took so long! I got swept up in bingos and lost motivation for it along the way. But it’s here now, and I hope you all enjoy it ❤

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3

Tags: alcoholism, mentions of alcohol poisoning, a lil bit of a steamy make out, but that’s it

Words: 2114

Taglist: @witches-unruly-heart  @beccabarba  @thatesqcrush @itsjustmyfantasyroom @permanentlydizzy @ben-c-group-therapy  @infiniteoddball @glowingmess @whimsicallymad @lv7867 @storiesofsvu @cycat4077 @alwaysachorusgirl  @glimmerglittergirl @joanofarkansass @caracalwithchips @beardsanddetectives​  @reading--mermaid  @averyhotchner  @mrsrafaelbarba @detective-giggles @crowleysqueenofhell @dreamlover31 @objection-argumentative

Year 1:

Sonny hardly contacts you. You go weeks with nothing from him, only to wake up at 4am with a phone call and a very drunk Sonny.

“Sonny? It’s 4am here—”

“Doll…I’m so—” you can hear how his words slur, and you can also hear that he’s crying— “so sorry, doll. I shoulda neva touched ya like that—”

“Dominick, are you drunk?”

You pinched the bridge of your nose, worried and annoyed at once. “So—sorry…so sorry…” and then he hangs up. You fell back onto the bed, concerned about him; Genoa was only six hours ahead of Manhattan. He was drunk at…10am. That wasn’t healthy.

Unable to fall back asleep, you shot him a text, making sure he was okay before you got in the shower. But he never responded. Sighing, you call his mom; you still had her number since Sonny called her from your phone, and you had been growing close with his parents.

She tells you that she’s worried he’s drinking away his problems, but every time she offers to go to Genoa, he shoots her down, telling her he needs time alone. You’re just worried that time alone means him sinking further and further into the bottle.

 ********************

Year 2:

You saw when your phone lit up, Sonny’s number flashing on your screen. You glanced around the precinct before answering your phone, heading for the on-call room for privacy. It had been three months since you had a drunken call from him, and you were going to lay down the law with him.

“Listen, Sonny, I can’t listen to your drunken ramblings while at work—”

“Ah, shit, ya at work, huh?” he asked, cutting you off. But he sounded lucid rather than drunk. “I’m sorry; I forgot the time difference. I just wanted ta talk, let ya know…I’m not drinkin’ anymore. Look, I’ll let ya go; text me when ya free so we can catch up…please.”

You felt bad for assuming, but with your only contact for the past year being drunk Sonny, it had become habit. “Y—yeah, I’ll see if I can leave early, okay? But don’t stay awake for me.”

“Don’t get in trouble fer me,” he replied, making you chuckle. “I’ll talk ta ya soon…and I’m sorry, fer the past year.”

 *******************

You were no longer with SVU; it had been too hard working there, especially without Sonny. But you also couldn’t deal with the stares, even from your squad. So, you transferred to Homicide instead. And your boss thankfully let you leave early.

You texted Sonny the moment you were home, and instantly he was calling you.

“First, I wanna say I’m sorry fer the drunk calls—”

“Dominick Carisi Jr. If you say the phrase “I’m sorry” one more time, I’m going to fly to Genoa and smack you,” you replied, cutting him off.

He fell silent for a moment before he let out a laugh. “Yeah, I bet ya tired of hearin’ that, huh? Well…After ya left here, I—I spiraled. Hard. Turned ta the bottle, if ya couldn’t tell. But I hit the bottom, and I’m startin’ ta work my way back up.”

“What happened? What bottom did you hit?” you asked, breathless. You were happy he was telling you all this, because you had been so, so worried. But you also didn’t want to pry into his personal life or make him uncomfortable.

It took him a moment to respond. “I…it was 5am when I woke up, shakin’ fer a drink. I remember the first three shots as I made a cocktail, and then…. I woke up in a hospital bed, my stomach pumped. I guess I dropped ta the floor when I lost consciousness, and my downstairs neighbor heard it.”

“Oh my god, Sonny! Are you okay now?” you asked, wanting nothing more than to give him a hug, hold him to you.

“Yeah, I’m good now. I had my stomach pumped and part of my liver cut out, but I’m okay. I no longa have the urge ta drink, and I dumped everythin’ I had. But please, tell me what’s goin’ on with ya; how’s life at the precinct?”

You spent hours talking to Sonny that night, even though it was getting later and later for him. He had so many questions, wanting to know everything going on with you. He vaguely mentioned that he got a job at a grocery store as a cashier, but otherwise, he was focused on you.

 ****************

Year 3:

You and Sonny talked almost every day, falling back into your habits before all this mess happened. You joked around, sent funny pictures to each other, ranted about your days; it was almost as if nothing ever happened. Almost.

From the pictures, you could tell that he was getting tanner, and he started growing out his hair and beard, making you swoon. Not that you’d tell him that; you weren’t sure if he’d be okay with you flirting yet.

But you were happy that things were getting back to normal with you two. It had been almost 4 years since the club incident, and it barely crossed your mind anymore. You had dated since Sonny was in Genoa, but no one seemed to be working for you. At least you could make out with someone without having flashbacks, so you called it a win.

You knew why it wasn’t working out for you, though; you were in love with Sonny, had been since the moment you met him. You were able to move past the club, but you couldn’t move past him. That’s why you had hated yourself so much, and that’s why you felt terrible leaving him behind in Italy. When he kissed you outside the airport in Genoa, you had thought that maybe he had felt the same way about you. Then that first year with drunk Sonny happened, and you weren’t sure about anything anymore.

You were still close with his family, too. Ma Carisi often invited you over for dinner, and you met Sonny’s sisters. You were the emergency babysitter for both Mia (who didn’t think she needed a sitter, until she met you and had fun with you) and Bella’s little girl. And Pa Carisi enjoyed having debates about laws with you, plus the odd sports talk. Slowly, you became one of the family, and you loved them all like your own.

 ***************

Year 4:

Ma Carisi called you, inviting you over for dinner once again. You accepted, telling her you’d be there in thirty. You had to park on the street with all the cars there; the Carisi girls were home for dinner, as well. You smiled as you made your way up the path to the front door, then knocked. The door opened, but instead of Ma Carisi greeting you with a warm smile, it was Sonny.

“Hey doll,” he said, eyes lit up with amusement. You froze for only a moment before you were crushing him in a bear hug. You heard the huff of air as you took the air from his lungs, but you didn’t care; you had missed him so much. You had pinned his arms next to him, so he couldn’t even hug you back.

“Doll…ya crushin’ me…” he gasped, and you finally let him go. Though, you kept your hands on his arms, not believing that he was there, in front of you.

“Are you back for good?” you asked, your voice hushed. You were waiting for him to deny it, for him to say he was only visiting.

“I’m back fer good. Already got my apartment—” He was cut off again as you hugged him, burying your face in his chest. You couldn’t stop the tears that appeared, so happy to have your best friend back. He rubbed your back, murmuring that it’s all okay now, and you had the sudden urge to kiss him. You fought the urge, not wanting to complicate things.

Instead, you ran your hands over his back, then leaned away to look at him. “Have you been working out?” It was true that he was deliciously tan, his hair coifed, and his beard trimmed neatly. He was already so much more attractive than you remembered, even with the pictures he had sent.

He barked out a laugh, a gleam in his eye. “I have, yeah. Whenever I felt the urge ta drink, I instead went to work out. I’m not a body builder or anythin’, though.”

“I’m proud of you, Sonny,” you said, and you meant it. You had gone through hell after the club incident, but Sonny didn’t have a walk in the park either. And you were glad he had found himself.

A pink tint appeared on his cheeks as he smiled at you. He took your hand, kissed your knuckles, and you swooned.

 ******************

After the surprise greeting at the front door, he brought you into the house. Ma Carisi and all his sisters gave you a tight hug and a kiss on the cheek, and Pa Carisi patted your shoulder; the normal greeting from the family. But now that Sonny was there, too, the energy was truly alive. Everyone was smiling and laughing, having a fantastic time together. The talk was loud, happy, and energized. It was almost as if Sonny hadn’t been hiding in Genoa for four years.

After the talk had finally died down, it was time for you to go home. Sonny offered to walk you to your car, and you agreed, not wanting to leave him quite yet.

“I’m so glad you came back, Sonny. I’ve missed you,” you said as you stood by your driver’s side door.

He grinned at you. “A promise is a promise. I told ya I’d come back once I was…better.”

“And are you better? Did you date at all in Genoa?”

His smile faded, and you worried you offended him. You were about to apologize when he spoke. “I am and I did. But no one there was…it fer me, ya know?”

“Yeah…same thing here. I dated a few people, but no one felt right—the spark wasn’t there. At least I had no flashbacks; I hardly remember that night anymore, to be honest,” you said, looking into his eyes, trying to gauge his reaction.

Sonny simply nodded. “Me either, really. It was so long ago…plus, I bet the drinkin’ didn’t help. But I do remember you, showin’ up outta nowhere on a random street in Genoa. Talkin’ me through the worst time of my life.”

“And I remember you, comforting me during a thunderstorm when you didn’t have to do that. Your emotions were everywhere; I couldn’t imagine the turmoil I must’ve put you through—”

“No, no, look at me,” he muttered, his warm hand cupping your cheek. “No matter what happens—in the past or the future—I wanna take care of ya, make sure you’re okay. Comfortin’ ya, it was a slice of normalcy after I thought I’d neva have that again. I needed ya there, and I’m so thankful I had ya.”

You smiled up at him, melting into his touch. His thumb stroked your cheekbone, and you felt closer to him than ever before. “You know what else I remember, Sonny?”

“Hm?”

Slowly, you leaned forward, going slow enough that he had plenty of time to pull away. But instead, he also leaned in until your lips brushed against each other. You smiled softly before you pressed your lips more firmly to his. The hand still cupping your cheek tilted you slightly, letting him kiss you a little more forcefully, his beard tickling you as he moved.

There was the spark that was missing from all your past relationships; you had felt it in the airport, but it wasn’t the right time. Now, however, there was nothing holding you back from deepening the kiss, your tongues coming together in a beautiful dance.

Sonny gently pushed you back against your car, the kiss getting more heated. Your hands went to his shaggy, luscious hair, tugging softly and making him moan into your mouth. His hands dropped to your hips, pushing you back against the car as his tongue memorized your mouth.

Reluctantly, he pulled away from you, both of you panting hard. You were about to suggest he show you his new apartment when he muttered, “I wanna take this slow. Please.”

You shut your mouth, nodding. You’d do anything to make him comfortable and happy. “I can do slow. As long as I have you, Sonny.”

His eyes brightened and he gave you his signature goofy smile. “Ya have me fer as long as ya want me.”

#sonny carisi x reader #law and order svu #law and order svu fanfic #fanfic #my writing

[legendofzeldaalinktothepast]

Pathetic, Clinging Poetry - Chapter 14 (of 25)

Previous Chapter // Next Chapter 

Pearl rested her elbows against the windowsill as she gazed out at the bright blue sky. The view from this new house was lovely; that was one thing Whitney hadn't lied about. They had a fair amount of land -- Pearl had a feeling her mother was planning to start a garden -- and there was a thick patch of woods just within walking distance; the tree branches were bare and coated with ice, but Pearl knew they'd be even more beautiful in the spring. Despite all of the beauty laying just before her, Pearl's heart still ached. She couldn't bring herself to smile at the sunny blue sky, or the squirrel scurrying through the patches of snow in the yard, or the opportunity to explore those woods... She knew why she was here, and all the nature in the world could never compensate for what she'd left behind. 

* 

Taking a deep breath, Pearl laid back against her pillow. The composition notebook lay on the other side of her bed, but there mere sight of it only made her even more nauseous. She kicked it in a fit of frustration, and it slid down into the gap between her bed and the wall.

Knock knock. Pearl instinctively bolted upright as the door creaked open. To her relief, it was only Peony.

"Aren't you ever going to come out?" Peony whined. "I know you're sad, but I've been so bored lately... Besides, it's not good to stay cooped up in here all day."

Pearl huffed. "What is there to do?" she grumbled. "I don't even know anybody in this stupid town, and probably never will."

"Well, you have me..." Peony said, looking rather disappointed.

Pearl forced a smile. "I know, I know... Look, we can... go for a walk or something, if you really are that bored."

"Yes, I'd love to!" Peony immediately brightened up.

The two girls made their way downstairs, slipping into their winter coats and boots before heading towards the back door. "Be back in a while, mom!" Peony called. "We're just going for a walk."

"Alright, be safe, girls!" Whitney called back. The mere sound of her voice made Pearl cringe, and she hurried out the door without another word. Rolling her eyes, Peony followed close behind.

"I don't know how you can even look her in the eye anymore..." Pearl said, shoving her hands into her pockets as she walked through the muddy grass, the ground squeaking beneath her boots.

"Because she's our mom." Peony stated, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Besides... While I do wish we could have stayed back in Beach City, you can't deny that there were a lot of... negative influences back there."

Pearl shot her a glare, which made Peony tense. "Look, all I'm saying is... Mom's doing what she thinks is best for us." Peony continued, turning her gaze up towards the sky. "I don't fully understand all of it... but that doesn't mean she's wrong."

"If you don't even understand it, then how do you know she's right?" Pearl huffed.

Peony lifted the bottom of her ankle-length skirt as she stepped over a pile of snow, not wanting to get it wet. "Well... I don't really know, I guess." Peony shrugged. "But... I do know that God has a plan for both of us. If we weren't meant to be where we are right now, we wouldn't be here. He would've stopped us from coming here somehow."

Pearl blinked away tears. "What if..." she began, her voice cracking. "What if mom is doing the wrong thing? What if she's outright disobeying God? What if she's just selfish and controlling and it has nothing to do with whatever God wants? Have you considered that, Peony?"

"I..." Peony clenched her fists. "I... I don't know, Pearl. Maybe I shouldn't have brought this up."

"I just want to go home." Pearl choked, cupping her hands over her face. "I just want my friends back... I'm never going to see them again, Peony! I can't do this..." She finally broke down. Peony stood beside her in silence, struggling to think of something, anything she could say that would comfort her sister... But it seemed like everything she'd said these past few minutes only made things worse.

After a few moments of uncomfortable silence (aside from Pearl's sobbing), Peony approached Pearl and gave her a gentle hug. "I know... I'm sorry.” 

* 

Pearl stretched her arms as she sat upright, drawing in a deep breath. Once she'd rubbed the sleep from her eyes, she glanced down towards Amethyst and smiled warmly. A tiny bit of hair had grown on her chin overnight; Pearl gave it a cautious stroke, not wanting to wake Amethyst, but still loving the feeling of her scruffy chin. 'So cute...' Once she'd finally pulled her gaze away from Amethyst, Pearl rose from the bed and tiptoed over to the basket of folded laundry, deciding to put together her outfit for the day.

Amethyst rolled over onto her side. "Hey." she greeted, smiling at Pearl with a sleepy expression in her eyes.

"Good morning." Pearl responded as she slipped out of her pajamas. "I hope I didn't wake you."

"Nah, was already starting to wake up." Amethyst said, smiling as she admired the view. Over the past few weeks, Pearl had grown more comfortable undressing in front of Amethyst, and while she knew she wasn't ready for any kind of intimacy beyond kissing and bed sharing, she still couldn't keep her eyes off of Pearl's beautiful figure.

"That's good." Pearl slipped into one of her knee-length skirts, smoothing it out with her hands.

"Hey... not to be nosy, but just wondering; do you own any pants?" Amethyst asked. "I've just noticed you only ever wear skirts. I've always been curious about that."

"Oh... I guess not." Pearl smiled awkwardly. "I was raised a conservative Pentecostal. Almost none of the women at our church wore pants, just long skirts and dresses. It's a way of being modest and feminine, I guess. It's something I never really thought too much about."

"Hmm, I get ya." Amethyst said as she sat upright. "Well... Are you still, uh, a conservative Pentecostal?"

Pearl shook her head. "Definitely not. I mean... I still believe in God, but... not the way I was raised to, at least." Pearl buttoned up her blouse and tucked it into her skirt, looking herself over in the mirror. "I guess I just... never really thought much of it. I kind of forgot what it's like to wear pants, in all honesty, so I've never had any desire to change my wardrobe. That's not strange, is it?"

"No, not really." Amethyst said. "I was just curious. But ya know... If you ever decide you wanna change things up, I'll be glad to help you. I've got plenty of experience with that."

Pearl smiled. "Oh, you do?"

"Yeah. And I've done it more times than I can count." Amethyst reached for her brush on the nightstand and began to smooth out the knots in her hair. "Like, when I first realized I was a girl, I thought I had to be super feminine for anyone to take me seriously. I wore skirts and dresses and pink stuff and all that shit, I even shaved my legs and wore a face full of makeup... And then I realized, hey, this sucks. I don't have to do all that shit to be a girl."

"I see..." Pearl said, reaching for the brush once Amethyst was finished and smoothing out her own hair.

"Yeah." Amethyst said. "So at one point, I realized that like... I don't have to be girly to be a girl. Sure, I like a little eyeliner and lipgloss now and then, I even paint my nails sometimes -- but I also like being hairy and wearing flannels and tank tops. And I became a lot more comfortable with being a girl once I realized that." Amethyst shrugged. "I dunno, you don't have to, but... You ever consider trying out a new style? Doesn't even have to be a manly one, could just be a different kind of feminine. Just to help you move past the way you were raised."

"Maybe..." Pearl shrugged, blushing as she twirled a strand of hair around her finger. "At the very least, I should get a haircut. It's getting a bit too long for my liking. And perhaps I could try out some new clothes at the mall... Maybe go wild and give pants a try, ha!"

"Oooh, I see where this is going!" Amethyst jumped to her feet. "Let's go out to the mall with the girls today! I need to re-dye my hair, anyway." she said, gesturing to the black roots on her scalp.

"Aw, well..." Pearl blushed. "I guess that could be fun... I haven't seen Garnet and Peridot in quite a while, have I?"

"You sure haven't!" Amethyst grinned. "I'll text Dot and Garnet! They'll be sooo excited to see you again!"

"You're sure they won't be annoyed with me?" Pearl said. "I still feel terrible for not showing up to our last mall date..."

"Nah, they'll totally understand! They know you had stuff going on, and they could tell you were shy, anyway." Amethyst said with a wink, fishing her phone out from underneath the blankets and sending out a text to Peridot and Garnet. "Besides, you're the mom friend of the group. Peridot needs you around if she finds another centipede in her shower."

Pearl burst into laughter. "I guess that's true, isn't it? I'm still so proud of that."

"Aaah, this is gonna be so fun!" Amethyst bounced with excitement. "How do you think you'll get your hair cut? You wanna go risky and get a buzzcut? Maybe even dye it a wild color like mine?"

"I'm not sure I'd go that far..." Pearl brushed a strand of hair from her face. "I think I'm fairly content with my natural strawberry blonde. I honestly just want a trim so it doesn't look like an awkward bob anymore."

"Aww, but you'd look soooo cute with some pink highlights..." Amethyst pouted. "I won't push, though. No matter what you get done, it's gonna be a great time, and you'll look hot!"

Pearl beamed. "Yeah! It'll be lots of fun." she said, grabbing her deodorant and toothbrush from her backpack. Even though she'd been living there for a few months, now, she still couldn't break the habit of keeping all of her belongings in her bag. "Well, guess I should finish getting myself cleaned up... Be right back!" she said, heading off to the bathroom. 

* 

The mall was filled with the sounds of chattering, music, and children running around and laughing in the play area. Pearl walked a few steps behind the other three girls -- at least until Amethyst reached back and nudged her forward. "Keep up, princess!" she teased. "Want me to hold your hand so you don't fall behind?"

"Ah, um, sure!" Pearl blushed; she noticed Peridot and Garnet grinning at the sight of this, but neither of them said anything, to Pearl's relief.

"Have you decided what you'll be doing with your hair?" Garnet asked.

"Not entirely sure... But I certainly want it shorter than this." Pearl said, blowing away a strand of hair that had started to fall onto her face. "It's in that awkward stage where it's constantly in the way, but too short to put in a ponytail."

"I was thinking of getting some pink and blue highlights." Garnet said, turning to Peridot and ruffling her hair. "And this little butch is probably going to sit and read a magazine, aren't you?"

"You bet your ass I am!" Peridot said. "I cut and dye my own hair."

"I don't blame you." Pearl reassured. "I've had so many horrible experiences with getting my hair done, too; I was lucky my mother let me cut it as short as she did, but she always told the stylist to make sure I didn't look like a boy or a lesbian."

"I'll tell the stylist to make you look extra lesbian if you want." Amethyst teased.

Pearl giggled. "No need for that. I just want a trim, that's all."

"Yeah, I know. Just saying, though, you'd look really cute if you got something super short." Amethyst said. "Not that you're not already cute as fuck."

"Maybe I will..." Pearl said, blushing a little bit. "Y-you're pretty cute yourself, too."

"You're cuter." Amethyst whispered, pressing a kiss to Pearl's knuckles. Before their playful flirting could continue any longer, they'd reached the hair salon. As they walked in and seated themselves in the waiting room, Pearl couldn't help but notice the heavy scent of hairspray and shampoo in the air. Reaching for one of the magazines in the basket, she flipped through the pages in search of some ideas. Amethyst's suggestion, however, didn't seem to be leaving her head anytime soon... 'Perhaps I could get the short and risky haircut my mother would definitely disapprove of.' she thought with a growing smile.

"Hmm, what do you think?" Amethyst asked, gesturing to a picture in the magazine she was holding. "I was thinking of just getting my purple re-done, but I think some silver streaks would look pretty cool, too!"

"Ohh, you're right!" Pearl beamed. "That would look lovely on you! I say you should go for it."

"I think I will." Amethyst grinned, setting the magazine aside but leaving it open on that particular page. "How about you? Any styles catch your eye?"

"None in particular, but..." Pearl flipped through the magazine and hummed with thought. "I think I might end up going with your idea after all. I want to go super short! Maybe an undercut of some kind."

"Hell yeah, that's the spirit!" Amethyst gave Pearl a playful nudge. "But only if you want to, alright? I might've been a little pushy about it..."

"Not at all. In fact, I think it's just the push I needed!" Pearl beamed, pressing a gentle kiss to Amethyst's forehead.

"Alright, good to hear." Amethyst returned the kiss. She reached for Pearl's hand and gently tangled their fingers together, letting out a sigh of content as she rested her head against her shoulder. 

* 

Once they left the salon, Pearl couldn't keep her fingers out of her hair; not only was it soft from being shampooed, but the feeling of the freshly buzzed hair on the side of her head felt so lovely on her fingers. In the end, she'd decided on a short undercut; trimmed just enough to keep her hair out of her face, but long enough so that she could still run her fingers through it.

As they passed the various stores throughout the mall, Pearl caught the occasional glimpse of herself in the reflection of the glass windows. 'I look... boyish.' she thought, her heart racing. 'Especially when I'm holding hands with Amethyst...' But for some strange reason, that thought almost excited her.

As they entered one of the clothing stores, Amethyst immediately began bouncing with excitement. "Ohh, you'd look really cute in that!" Amethyst said, gesturing to one of the mannequins. It was wearing dark green overalls with a minty green striped blouse underneath.

"You think so?" Pearl blushed.

"Totally!" Amethyst said. "You wanna try it on?"

"Ah, sure! I don't see why not." Pearl said, searching through the clothing rack to make sure the outfit was in her size. Once she found it, she turned her gaze back to Amethyst. "But since I'm trying this on, I want to pick out an outfit for you as well!"

"Oh yeah?" Amethyst grinned.

"Yep!" Pearl said. "Ah, let's see..." She glanced around the store for some kind of inspiration; Garnet was looking through the array of hair clips and sunglasses, while Peridot stood nearby on her phone, probably playing that one Pokemon game she was always talking about. She then glanced towards the lingerie section, but immediately averted her eyes. 'No, no, not that!' she thought, blushing at the mere idea of telling Amethyst to try on lingerie for her -- and in public at that!

"You good?" Amethyst asked, noticing the blush on Pearl's face.

"Yes! Um..." Not wanting Amethyst to know about the thought she'd just had, Pearl turned and pointed at the first outfit she saw; it was a short, black sundress with a pink flower pattern. "That'd look lovely on you! Oh, wait..." Pearl blushed. "Sorry, I forgot you didn't like dresses."

"Hey, I'm not opposed to them." Amethyst said. "Just don't like wearing them all the time. But nothing wrong with putting on a dress for a little fashion show." she added with a wink.

"We're having a fashion show now?" Peridot raised an eyebrow.

"Ooh, that sounds fun! I want to pick out your outfit!" Garnet exclaimed, clasping her hands together with excitement.

"So that means I'll be picking out yours... I hope you're ready to look like a clown." Peridot snorted.

"Aw, hush, I'm sure you could put together something nice!" Garnet patted Peridot on the back.

"You two nerds go pick out each others outfits while me and Pearl try ours on." Amethyst said with a grin, grabbing Pearl's hand and leading her towards the women's dressing room. Beaming with excitement, Pearl closed the door behind herself and locked it. 'Never thought this bunch would be the type to have a fashion show at the mall...' Pearl thought as she undressed.

As she reached for the pair of overalls, she caught a glimpse of her body in the mirror. 'I'm so scrawny...' she thought, staring at her flat chest and the way her ribs protruded from her torso. While it certainly wasn't news to her, she still couldn't help feeling a little bit self conscious every now and then; a combination of a fast metabolism, a picky appetite, and genetics all contributed to her being so thin. But she remembered the way Amethyst held her whenever she slept in her bed, kissing her and telling her how lovely she looked, and she couldn't help but smile again.

Pearl slipped into the overalls; the way they hugged her legs felt... strange, somewhat foreign, but not necessarily in a bad way. She then buttoned up the pretty green blouse and tucked it in, fastening the suspenders over her shoulders. She slipped back into her shoes and looked at herself in the mirror once more, a slight blush on her cheeks. 'Goodness... I look more boyish than ever.' she thought. Pearl found herself staring at her reflection for a few moments, unable to hide the happy feeling bubbling up inside of her. The word Garnet had used to describe Peridot earlier that day -- butch -- ran through her mind, and a smile spread across her face. But she shook off the silly feeling, remembering it was just a little game of dressup, and that she'd have to change back into her more feminine clothes soon. Still, the joy in her chest lingered as she unlocked the dressing room door and stepped out into the store.

Garnet and Peridot were sitting in the chairs just outside the dressing room, and they applauded as Pearl walked out.

"Woohoo, you look cute as hell!" Peridot cheered.

"Very nice." Garnet added with a warm smile. "It suits you so well."

"Aww, thanks." Pearl blushed, shoving her hands into the big front pocket. "I sort of wish I had the money for it... Amethyst only had enough to pay for my haircut, unfortunately."

"I could buy it for you, if you'd like." Garnet said.

"Ah, I could never make you do that! I don't know when or if I'll be able to pay you back..." Pearl smiled sadly. "It's very kind of you to offer, though."

"Your birthday is in June, isn't it?" Garnet asked, tilting her head. "Consider it an early birthday gift."

"Ah... well, thank you." Pearl blushed. She honestly didn't remember telling Garnet her birthday -- maybe Amethyst had mentioned it at some point? "Only if you're sure it's alright."

"I am! You look lovely in it, you deserve to wear it more than once." Garnet reassured. "Amethyst, are you almost done?" she added, glancing over towards the other dressing room.

"Yeah, just a sec!" Amethyst called. "Just, uh -- Pearl, could you come in and help me with this zipper in the back?"

"Oh, sure thing!" Pearl said. She headed into the dressing room and locked the door behind herself once she was in. "Let me see."

"Thanks, P. Zippers are always a pain in the ass." Amethyst said, turning her back towards Pearl and moving her long hair over her shoulder. Pearl reached for the zipper and gave it a gentle tug, sliding it up with ease. "There we go!" Pearl clasped her hands together.

"Thanks." Amethyst said, grinning as she turned around to face Pearl. "And since you came in to my rescue, you get to be the first one to see me in this dress." she said, flipping her hair dramatically. "How's it look?"

"It's lovely..." Pearl said, admiring the way the dress framed her chubby figure.

"You think so, huh?" Amethyst whispered, standing up on her tippy toes. "Because I think you look just as good... Maybe even better. Look at you, stepping outta your comfort zone and letting yourself be a tomboy..." Amethyst licked her lips, slowly casting her gaze down towards Pearl's mouth.

Pearl stared into her eyes, taking a moment to process just what Amethyst was silently begging for. Once it clicked, Pearl immediately complied; she pressed a soft kiss to her plump lips, letting out a quiet groan as Amethyst gripped onto her shoulders and pinned her against the wall.

Her cheeks burning, Pearl ran her fingers through Amethyst's hair; normally it was soft, yet filled with a handful of tangles, but after their visit to the salon it was smoother than silk. Pearl found her hands slowly inching downwards, but stopped at Amethyst's hips once she remembered they were in a public dressing room. As their lips parted, Pearl panted softly and wiped a bit of saliva away from her mouth.

"Goodness gracious..." she breathed.

"Heh... I swear that wasn't the original plan." Amethyst whispered. "Really just wanted help with my zipper, but... You looked so dang hot, had to get a taste..."

"Mhm, sure it wasn't." Pearl winked. Taking a deep breath, she smoothed out her blouse and re-adjusted her suspenders.

"Well... Guess we should head out. We got a fashion show to attend." Amethyst winked back, stepping out into the store again before Pearl could even say anything else. After looking herself over in the mirror to make sure her face wasn't too red (it was), she soon followed.

"No dirty jokes, we just took a while because my zipper just got stuck, I swear." Amethyst said to Garnet and Peridot.

"We weren't going to make any." Peridot rolled her eyes.

"I was." Garnet snorted. "But anyway, the colors of the dress really compliment your hair."

"Yeah. Why don't you wear dresses more often?" Peridot said, resting her chin in her hands.

"I dunno. Just like pants more, I guess... But maybe I'll end up buying this one, it's pretty comfy. Nice and breezy for when it gets hot outside, too. What do you think, Pearl?" Amethyst turned to Pearl.

"Well, if you think you'll wear it, I say you should buy it!" Pearl said.

"Maybe I will." Amethyst said, strutting over towards Peridot and Garnet. "Now get your butts up and try on your outfits! Me and Pierogi wanna see a fashion show, too!"

"Alright, let's get this over with!" Peridot announced as she rose to her feet. "I hope my selection for you was decent..."

"I'm sure it is." Garnet said, making her way towards the dressing room.

As the two girls changed into their outfits, Pearl leaned back in the chair and relaxed, slowly reaching for Amethyst's hand and tangling their fingers together. Amethyst squeezed Pearl's hand tight, giving her knuckles a kiss and gazing into her eyes with a soft expression. "Hey..." she said, smiling softly.

"Hi there." Pearl whispered, pressing a kiss to Amethyst's knuckles as well. "While I am enjoying our little fashion show... I do wish we could have stayed in that dressing room just a moment longer."

"Aw, you liked that lil makeout session we had in there, didn't you?" Amethyst teased, booping Pearl's nose with her free hand. She tensed for a moment, glancing around the area to make sure nobody was standing nearby before leaning in and kissing Pearl on the lips once more. "There's plenty more where that came from."

The locks on the dressing rooms clicked, and Pearl immediately pulled her gaze away from Amethyst's face -- but she kept her grip tight on Amethyst's hand.

Peridot and Garnet both stepped out in their respective outfits; Peridot was dressed in a slightly-too-big button up shirt with some dress pants, and Garnet was in a white tank top with a pink sweater on top, and a black-and-white striped maxi skirt. The latter twirled around to show off her skirt, a huge grin on her face before she turned to Peridot. "Tuck your shirt in, it'll look nicer that way!"

Peridot blushed, tucking the baggy shirt into her jeans. "Hmf, if you insist." she mumbled. "Can I put my shorts back on now?"

"Aww, but you look so handsome in that!" Pearl cooed, clasping her hands together.

Peridot buried her face into her hands and grumbled incoherently. Pearl wasn't quite sure what to make of that response, but once she saw the slight smile from between Peridot's fingers, she relaxed and smiled as well.

"Maybe we should head out soon. As cute as she looks, we all know fashion shows aren't really Dot's thing." Amethyst said.

"That's true." Garnet gave Peridot a playful nudge. "Do you want go to the pet store and play with the dogs?"

"Hell yeah!" Peridot cheered, zooming right back into the dressing room to change back into her clothes before anyone could say anything else.

'Guess the fashion show is over... That went by quick.' Pearl thought. She made her way back towards the dressing rooms and retrieved her blouse and skirt, changing back into them. As much as she'd loved wearing the overalls, she still felt a strange sense of relief when she changed back into her more feminine, "ladylike" clothing. 

* 

As Pearl began settling in for bed that night, she changed into her nightgown and brushed her hair like she always did; she noticed the way her brush went through her short hair with ease. With a sigh of content, she laid down on the bed and adjusted herself beneath the blankets as she got comfortable.

"You're really liking that new haircut, aren't you?" Amethyst remarked, running her fingers across Pearl's scalp as she snuggled up to her.

"Mhm... It's so fun to play with." Pearl mumbled sleepily. She buried her face into the top of Amethyst's head and took in the lingering scent of her shampoo. Pearl let out another happy sigh as she played with her hair and twirled it around her fingers. "Thank you for taking me out to get it done... I guess I needed it more than I realized."

"Aw, well, I love spoiling you." Amethyst smiled warmly, kissing Pearl on the cheek. "By the way, uh... I guess there's something I wanted to talk about."

"Hm?" Pearl asked. Normally that kind of preface would send her anxiety up to the sky, but the tone in Amethyst's voice reassured her that it wasn't going to be anything bad.

"I was wondering... I know you said you weren't too sure about what we are right now..." Amethyst began. "But... I dunno. I think, if you're comfortable with it... We kinda already are girlfriends at this point, you know? I know you said you're more comfortable calling us friends that kiss each other, and if you wanna stick with that, we can, but... I think, in a way, that's kind of what girlfriends are." Feeling a little bit shy, Amethyst averted her gaze. "I dunno... What do you think?"

Pearl took a moment to ponder Amethyst's suggestion, running her fingers through Amethyst's silky hair. "Perhaps you're right... The world girlfriend has always felt so... heavy to me. Like I'm committing to something huge, and permanent, and that we'll either get married or... or have a painful breakup." Pearl shuddered. "But... perhaps it doesn't have to be like that. I think... the way you described girlfriend is so much more comfortable to me, so... I think, maybe... I am your girlfriend, Amethyst. No matter what we call it, I want to stay like this with you."

"I wanna stay like this, too." Amethyst whispered. She cupped Pearl's cheeks and brought their lips together in a long, soft kiss.

[thedemonkingamaimon]

Animosity and Conniption - Ao No Exorcist fic

If you wanna read a bad fic about Amaimon kicking off, now’s your chance!

Anyone someone said they’d read it if I wrote it so here’s my little fic. I’m a bit out of practice (especially where this fandom is concerned) so excuse any characterisation errors, unexplained references, etc. This is a bit of a messy fic in terms of layout and continuity, but I hope you’ll like it/give it a go anyway!

This is quite a long one and has my headcanons mixed in so hmu if you need anything explaining

Overview: Amaimon has been in Gehenna for a couple of months (not necessarily by choice) and this is his first day back in Assiah with Mephisto. As pleased as he is to be back, he doesn’t think Mephisto is quite as excited as he is

Warnings/themes: Blood, fighting, domination (non-sexual), violence, swearing, hurt, distress

“ANIUE!!” 

Mephisto barely had time to draw breath before he was tackled by a bundle of green hair and tattered clothing - namely his younger brother. 

“I was starting to think you weren’t coming back” he said, carefully detaching the clingy demon from his person. 

“I ran into some obstacles” Amaimon said, burying himself in his older brothers chest once more. “I didn’t mean to stay away for that long”

“Yes, well, you’re back now” he gave the younger a quick squeeze and held him at arms length. “You’re in tatters. What happened to the rest of your clothes?” 

It was true that his outfit was somewhat incomplete today. Firstly, he’d left in a hurry, but secondly, he hadn’t really been bothering with appearances and completed outfits much over the past few weeks especially. His gloves, waistcoat, and tie were missing and honestly he didn’t know where they were any more than his brother did. In response to him, he merely shrugged.

Mephisto sighed at him. “Well, take your coat and shoes off: I don’t want you making my office look like a doss house”

Amaimon did as he was asked without question. He still felt a bit odd, but it was a hell of a lot better being here than it was at the palace. He’d had a bit of a rough time of it lately, and he felt well within his rights to feel a bit sorry for himself. 

“Your nails are getting dangerous again” Mephisto said, taking his brothers hand. “You know the rules while you’re here: you need to keep them short... What’s that face for?” 

“I, um, got clipped a few days after I got back to Gehenna, is all” 

“You’re a fool for playing up where you’ll get caught” he tapped his face sharply. “I won’t be harsh like our dear father, you know that”

-

It always felt odd afterwards, like the trimming of nails also trimmed away some of the function of the hands temporarily. 

Amaimon sat clenching and unclenching his fists. Mephisto laughed at him.

“I admit I’ve missed your strange ways, little brother” 

“So I should hope so” he mumbled, still very interested in his hands. “I got banded too, while I was home”

“My word Amaimon, whatever did you do to get yourself clipped, beaten, and banded, eh? And all in between your multiple incidents of ilness” he sat back in his chair, shaking his head slightly. “At least it explains why you were gone for so long” 

Amaimon looked over at him, trying to see if he was actually angry with him. No, didn’t look like it. ‘I often think he hates father more than most humans’ Amaimon thought.

“I just got into a few arguments. Fights... Uh, what’s the next one up from fights?” 

“Battles?” Mephisto suggested.

Amaimon shrugged. “Anyway, I didn’t start off well so father wasn’t best pleased with me. I got worse from him than I got from any of the fights. Plus Luci was ill and I’d broken Beelzebubs nose again, so that didn’t work in my favour either”

Mephisto didn’t look impressed. He didn’t much like hearing about the family. He’d been away for so long that he felt it was probably a different world down there now. Still, Lucifer being ill and Beelzebub having his nose smashed... Some things never change. 

“You haven’t said why you got banded” 

“Well, I don’t know. Could’ve been anything. It’s not important” he put his hands down, looking at his brother properly. “He made me go to a social with him too. Made me get an outfit tailored for it and then got pissed off at me for ruining the coat”

“Hmph. How was that for you?” 

“The bloke there showed me his garden. It was impressive. Put it forward for a Royal Seal. But then me and Astaroth and the twins played up when I got back so I got bubbled on the throne the next day” 

Mephisto rubbed his temples. “You really are a disaster, Amaimon. When did you get so careless?”

Amaimon decided that question was rhetorical. 

-

Transitioning between realms, as well as his recent illness, had made Amaimon feel quite exhausted, and he didn’t even realise he’d fallen asleep until he woke up. He sat up slowly and rubbed his eyes, feeling a little disorientated

“Welcome back to the land of the living” Mephisto said from over by the desk. 

Amaimon merely grumbled, knuckling his eyes and trying to wake himself up. 

“Oh yes, I forgot to mention: I’m going out tonight” 

Amaimon stopped dead. “But I’ve only just got back”

“Yes, I know. I can’t very well cancel” 

“Why not?” Amaimon snapped, suddenly feeling much more awake. “You’re always happy enough to cancel on me” 

“Oh don’t start. It’s a few hours, that’s all. It won’t kill you to be alone. I daresay it will benefit you after the eight weeks you’ve just had” 

Amaimon didn’t seem impressed. He flopped back against the sofa with his arms crossed over his chest. “Fine, piss off then”

Mephisto glared at him. “What’s gotten into you?” 

“Oh what do you care?” he shouted, quite accidentally. He suddenly felt like he’d put himself in the firing line. He bent his head slightly, refusing to look at the other. He suddenly grabbed his throat as an odd sort of whimper escaped him. He was horrified at himself for that. 

“Are you crying?” 

“Of course I’m not bloody crying!” he shouted on purpose this time and jumped out of his seat. “Why would I be crying?”

“Because you’re a mystery, my dear little King” Mephisto smiled slightly and tapped him on the nose - and quickly received quite the punch to his face. 

“Don’t treat me like a child!” Amaimon was trembling slightly, a low growl coming from deep in his throat. 

Mephisto remained unphased on the outside. “Well, my dear, if you didn’t act like a child, maybe I wouldn’t treat you like one” 

“Well if you didn’t treat me like a child, maybe I wouldn’t act like one!” Amaimon shouted, which was a little counterproductive. 

“I wouldn’t be quite so sure of that” he wiped the trail of blood from the cut at the corner of his mouth. “What, can’t you cope with being left alone now?” 

Amaimon’s growl broke into an outright roar, and he sunk his fangs into Mephisto’s left arm. 

“Why you little-!” It took a bit of struggling to detach the smaller demon from his arm. It left quite an impressive amount of blood for the size of the wound. He delivered quite a smack to Amaimon’s face. “What was that all about?” 

Amaimon let out another screaming growl. This one didn’t seem to calm down - it dragged out and juddered and restarted, as though he was having a rant, just without the words. He’d stepped away from his brother and was pacing back and forth, gripping his hair in frustration as he yelled and cried. 

-

Eventually Mephisto grabbed hold of Amaimon, shocking him into silence. It was almost like someone had pressed pause on him. He’d been caught mid roar, and his top lip was still raised on one side, like a dogs would be. 

“Are you finished?” 

Amaimon swallowed heavily and growled again. “NO I’M NOT BLOODY FINISHED!”

“Maybe you should sit down and take a break” 

“I thought I said not to treat me like a child! I’m not small any more, why do you always treat me like a silly little kid?!”

“You might not be little, but you’re not big either” Mephisto grabbed him under the chin, forcing him to make eye contact. “Is this just you being jealous that I’m going out?” 

A lesser man would have crumbled at the roar that followed that statement. Mephisto stood back, choosing to be amused at his brothers behaviour, rather than concerned about it. He was certain this is what he’d been like in Gehenna, and what had got him into so much bother. He certainly knew how to throw his voice around. 

“Look at you now, throwing a tantrum over something so trivial. I thought you said you weren’t a child any more?” 

“FUCK OFF you know what I meant!!” Steam was radiating off him like a rugby player on the pitch. He could hear his pulse pounding in his ears, could feel himself slowly losing control of his senses. “You all treat me like a kid, you and Luci and the twins and even Beelzebub gives it a go! And the less said about Azazel - well you weren’t there, were you? You’re NEVER there, you’re always leaving me! You keep- you keep just-” He lost his train of thought, having resumed his frantic pacing, growling all the while. “He was acting really weird, you know, Azazel. Suddenly seemed to be there all the time and then didn’t want father to unband me. Sticking around like he had something to say, which he didn’t because he never does, and-”

“Amaimon. We all know Azazel wanted to mentor you. Did you forget this little fact while you were mixed up in your own misdeeds?” 

“Well what’s that got to do with anything?! He wasn’t my mentor; you were! Are! Oh for fucks sake, are, were? I don’t even know any more, you’re messing with my head!” 

-

He’d started to calm down a little. Mephisto tried to touch him and very nearly lost a hand in the process. 

“I think you need to stop roaring now, don’t you?”

“No I don’t!” he was suddenly very riled again, and set into a whole new screaming fit. His throat hurt quite a lot at this point, but he pretended not to notice. “We’re not finished here! I want you to fight me!” He grabbed hold of the lapels of Mephisto’s jacket. “Fight me! Fight me, you treacherous bastard!!”

“Amaimon you know full well I could knock you off in three minutes if I wanted to” 

“I don’t care!” he roared. “We’re not done, I want to fight you! A proper fight, no powers or lightning or time stops or whatever it is you do, none of that! Get over yourself and fight me!”

Mephisto laughed. “You’re a strange little creature, Amaimon” 

Amaimon growled and smacked his forehead hard against his brothers. It made his eyes smart, and it seemed to be having the same effect on the victim of the attack.

“Hehe, ok. Let’s scuffle, little brother”

-

It wasn’t long before they’d gotten themselves into a proper little match. There was a fair amount of injuries, even with Mephisto holding back. They kept to their word and used just brute force - which evidently was more than enough. 

Amaimon soon grew quite rampant. He was a big fan of his teeth right now, especially since he didn’t have claws to rely on for quick attacks just now. 

“Enough of the teeth, Amaimon!” Mephisto growled, narrowly avoiding another bite. “Did they turn you into a piranha while you were at the palace?” 

Amaimon shrugged, wiping his eyebrow to stop the blood from getting in his eyes. Mephisto thought he was taking a break and so was caught completely off guard when Amaimon jumped on his back, biting his ear hard. He had his arm round Mephisto’s neck, trying to keep him still.

“Hey, what did I just say?” he pulled Amaimon’s hair hard. “When did you get so nippy?” 

“I can bite your neck instead if you like” he offered. Letting another demon drink from your neck was something of a trust seal in Gehenna, and was seen as an honour. However, it could also be used in fights as a form of violation, if one felt like doing so. It wasn’t common, however, as it was very much frowned upon, even by some of the fiercest of fighters. 

The mood had lightened considerably in the past 90 seconds. In fact, Amaimon was very nearly laughing.

“What, without my permission?” he reached back and grabbed the younger, skillfully flipping him over his shoulder so he landed flat on his back in front of him. 

“FUCK!” Amaimon cried, having whacked his ankle quite hard on a nearby chair in the process. 

Mephisto tilted Amaimon’s head back. “Are you ready to call it a day? You’re going to wear yourself out” 

“I’m just taking a breath” he gently took hold of Mephisto’s wrists. “Just taking a breath...” 

“You don’t give up, do you? You’re like a little kid, you know, trying to get the last word and needing to be entertained all the time” 

Amaimon’s eyes darkened and he sat up quickly. “Say that again, I dare you”

“You can be a bit like a child, surely you know that” 

Mephisto almost jumped at the screaming roar that suddenly split through the air, coupled with a pair of hands round his throat. 

“I told you to stop calling me a child!” he growled. 

Mephisto grabbed his wrists. “Calm down now, I wasn’t being aggressive” 

“THAT’S NOT THE POINT!” he let go and shook his arms free. “You always ruin things just when they’re getting good” 

-

Mephisto’s own eyes darkened. Amaimon had started in on another roaring session. Honestly, surely this wasn’t just jealousy? And even if it was, that didn’t make it any less of a problem.

Mephisto slapped Amaimon hard, which provoked him enough to pounce. Soon they found themselves in a very different struggle to their previous one. They’d made it back to their feet and the furniture was making good use as landing points and backstops. 

Losing his footing on one mad grab, Mephisto fell to the ground, bringing Amaimon with him. Oh how undignified the whole thing was - but one couldn’t really think about that when they had blood in their eyes and all over themselves. 

Amaimon stayed on all fours, growling violently. He was just as bloodied as Mephisto, and he was all a-quiver with the adrenaline of their fight. Mephisto took a moment to compose himself, and Amaimon rose to his knees in unison with him. For a moment they just looked at each other, watching the blood drip down each other’s faces.

“Ready to stop yet, baby brother?” 

Amaimon roared and pounced, starting another scuffle. They were as undignified as one could possibly imagine, struggling in varying styles and positions in their mission to shut the other one up. Amaimon bared his teeth.

“Bite me again and see what happens, I dare you” he hissed

And so he did, biting hard over the original bite from the start of their fight. Mephisto growled at him. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you” 

He’d been holding back somewhat up until that point. Now he used his full strength to floor the other, getting on his hands and knees above him. Amaimon was a little taken aback and tried to sit up to work out where best to put his legs to kick himself free. Mephisto shoved him down despite his growling and little roars, grabbing him with a hand under the jaw. Amaimon looked at him as he struggled, and Mephisto grinned. Amaimon knew that smile all too well, and he tried harder to break free, to no avail. Mephisto forced Amaimon’s head back, laughed slightly, and ducked his head. 

Amaimon screamed as a sharp set of fangs sunk into his neck. The assailant bit harder. 

“STOP! STOP-! GWAAAAAAH-RAAAH! STOP!!” 

Amaimon had drunk from people’s necks before, but he’d never had anyone drink from him. He never imagined it would hurt this much. His head was being held still, but that didn’t stop him from kicking and trying to push the elder away. He was still quite determined to put up a fight. But that pain, and whatever that other feeling with it was...

“STOP IT PLEASE! IT HURTS, PLEASE STOP!” 

His screams helped him none, so he gave up and instead struggled weakly and tried not to let the cries escape his throat. 

-

After what felt like hours, Mephisto moved back, licking the traces of blood from his teeth. 

“I had wondered, you know, if all of that sugar you eat had made its way into your bloodstream” he said, standing up. “It’s certainly sweet” 

He looked down at him, slowly rubbing his lower lip with his thumb. Amaimon was shaking all over, his teeth had clenched and his eyes were watering. ‘Quite a satisfying result’ Mephisto thought. 

“I think our battle is over, don’t you?” When he nodded, Mephisto hauled him to his feet. “Look at the states we’ve got ourselves in to. I think we both need to go and clean up and change. Go on”

He gestured with his thumb to Amaimon’s bedroom. Amaimon didn’t waste any time, but he was unsteady on his feet. 

-

As soon as he’d closed his bedroom door, he felt like his chest was going to collapse. He didn’t know what he was feeling. The only word he could think of was grief, and that didn’t really seem to fit. His room was too quiet. It was deafening. He shook his head and made his way over to the en suite. He turned the light on and looked at himself in the mirror above the sink. For the most part is wasn’t anywhere near as bad as he’d thought. Not bad at all really. His eyes quickly located the fang marks on his neck, and he couldn’t stop looking. Something built up inside him and he couldn’t control it. 

“GWAAAAAH!!!” his fist collided with the mirror, and he felt it splinter under his knuckles before it completely shattered. “GWAAAH!!”

He looked at his hand, now pierced with shards of glass. He felt like he was boiling over with no way to lower the heat. 

“Amaimon!” Mephisto had appeared in the doorway, having heard the commotion. He sighed at the sight of the mirror, but a quick wave of the hand fixed that problem. “Let me see your hand”

Amaimon screamed at him. “FUCK OFF!!” 

“You can’t very well go around with glass in your hand, can you?” 

Amaimon didn’t know how to respond. He was trembling and he held his head and screamed again. “GO AWAY! Don’t you have somewhere to be?”

“Not until later” he grabbed hold of Amaimon roughly, guiding him back into his room and sitting him down on the bed. “You will sit still and let me deal with your hand”

Amaimon watched him produce a first aid kit. He didn’t trust him. Not a bit. So he screamed. 

“Stop it now. You’ll have a reason to scream in a minute” he said, producing a tray and tweezers from the first aid kit and grabbing Amaimon’s hand. “I don’t have any local so you’ll just have to cope” 

Amaimon tried to stay still, but it really wasn’t easy. He watched carefully as the shards of glass were removed from his hand. It was a lot more painful than punching the mirror in the first place. He still managed to control himself as the wounds were cleaned and bandaged. 

“That wasn’t so bad, was it?” Mephisto closed the tin and stood up. He took Amaimon’s face in his hand. “I know you’re upset about me going out on your first night back. We’ll do something tomorrow evening, ok?”

He kissed him briefly on the nose. Amaimon stared at him for half a second, and then broke down sobbing. It came on suddenly and he couldn’t make himself stop. He suddenly really did feel like a child. He tried to cover his mouth but his hands were shaking so much that it was ineffective. 

“I d-don’t believe you! I don’t believe you, I don’t believe you, I don’t believe you!”

“Amaimon, you’re getting hysterical” 

He knew that all too well, but it didn’t help. He couldn’t calm his rapid breathing and his shaking hands. He couldn’t pinpoint a reason for his outburst and he certainly couldn’t think of what would make it better. 

“If this is a ploy to get me to stay in tonight...” he placed a hand on Amaimon’s forehead. Amaimon tried to roar at him, but it was overtaken by his cries and so ended up just sounding like fear. “You’re very hot. Maybe you’re getting ill. Get your bloodied clothes off and go to sleep” 

Amaimon didn’t move. “..What have you done to me??”

“You’re working yourself up into a state over nothing. Come now, you’ve drunk from my neck before and I’ve never acted like this over it”

“That’s completely different, and you know it!” his voice was just a little bit stronger. “You let me do that. I didn’t hold you down and do it as part of a fight” 

“You’re being too sensitive” he ruffled Amaimon’s hair. “I’ll be back in fifteen minutes. Get your old kit off”

-

It took him a good 7 minutes to compose himself enough to get undressed. He had no idea what he was feeling but he certainly didn’t like it. He was very slow and had only just crawled under the covers when the door opened again. 

“Ah, so you do know how to do as you’re told then” he set a glass of water down on the bedside table and sat down on the edge of the bed, stroking his hair gently (and making him blink a bit in the process). “My funny little brother. You do know that you’re only treated as the baby because you’re cute and no one bonded well enough with Beelzebub to pass the role onto him, don’t you?”

Amaimon didn’t respond. He didn’t even look at him. He hated himself for thinking it, but he rather wished he was back in Gehenna.  

“You’ve tired yourself out, haven’t you? I knew you would. You put up quite the fight earlier. I was rather impressed. Did you do any executions while you were in Gehenna?” 

“A few” he mumbled. “When are you leaving?” 

“In about twenty minutes” 

Amaimon pulled a pillow close against his chest and pulled the covers up over his shoulders. “Night then”

Mephisto stood up. “Get some rest, little brother. We’ll talk again in the morning”

*

#my writing #amaimon #ao no exorcist #mephisto pheles #fanfiction

[omgnsfwisnsfw-blog]

NSFW #03: Not Like You

“Say hey, EWC Faithful! Welcome to beautiful sunny California! Check it out, we saved so much cash on the way here that we splurged and rented us a beach house!” “And I’m sleeping on the couch.” The camera swiveled around momentarily to focus on a neat little cottage on the beach with a teal paint job and pink trim that boasted one bedroom, one bathroom, a common room, a kitchen, and a back deck (and an adorable, if perhaps slightly overdone, mermaid-based decor theme). A cute little place, really, even if the presence of three people relegated one to the fold-out. Still, a small private stretch of beach was included, and that’s what was arguably the most important part. After lingering a second on the house, the camera swooped back around to focus on NSFW themselves, both smartly clad in swim trunks and NSFW tank tops, sunglasses, and in Bishop’s case, swim floaties. Their noses were coated in Zinka sunscreen, orange and green respectively. There was a sandwich board planted in the sand before them, but it was covered up by a official new, hot for the summer, NSFW beach towel. “I told him he didn’t fuckin’ have to, but he insisted. THAT is the kind of stand-up fuckin’ guy your TV Champion is, Faithful. Eat your hearts out.” “It would be unforward of me considering.” “Yeah I know, but the couch’s a fold out and we TOTALLY coulda… anyway. We ain’t talkin’ bout the ever-lively TV Championship scene today. Today, we are gonna start off by talkin’ a little bit about our beloved Tag Team division in general. And we even made a nice clear visual aid.” Grabbing the towel- only $15.99 plus S&H, order now and get a free pair of NSFW arm floaties AND a set of five fidget spinners!- Mike whipped it off in a dramatic flourish, revealing its bold text to the world. The camera lingered long enough for it to be easily read. Finally pulling back to them, Mike planted the phone onto a tripod and backed up, standing as always at her partner’s right hand side, arms folded and a small smirk on her face. John tapped his fingers on top of the wooden board. “We share this with our colleagues with only the intention of inspiration. But maybe being called to the carpet evokes different king of feeling.” John looked over to Mike with a fond expression as if saying ‘Take it from here.’ “If this pisses you guys off? Good. Maybe it’ll light a goddamn fire under your asses. We said from the moment we came here that we wanna spark a revolution. A fuckin’ Renaissance. Bring this division back from the dead. WORK WITH US, PEOPLE. We want to make this division worth seeing. Shit, we want our tag division to be SO good that we get butts in seats just to see us.” She made a circular gesture, indicating she meant ‘us’ as a collective, the tag division entire, before dropping her hand back to her side and sighing. “Come on, guys. Cooperate.” The TV champ nodded in agreement. “Last week was the epitome of what the tag team division should be. Two teams. Lutter. Kross. Mike and I still think you’re a poor judge of character. But Kross and you showed just how deep your convictions lie. You are professional wrestling through and through, and NSFW was wrong. Let’s bring about this Renaissance together.” Mike grinned widely, bouncing back on the heels of her bare feet slightly. “Y’know, there’s this country song that goes ‘Lovin’ You Is Fun’. Well, Nos, I gotta say thatFightin’ You Is Fun, and I really hope we get to do it again sometime.” “But that was last week. The new Assistant General Manager has a sense of humor seemingly...” His voice trailed off. He seemed lost in thought or he lost what he was about to say. “And...there are no rules this time.” Mike looked up at him, her brow furrowing in mild concern. She didn’t say anything, but her expression was clearly asking if he was alright. “And... our opponents, no strangers to each other are…complicit…” “They’re a couple of crazy fucks, is what they are. I mean, Church, what do you even make of, as that cranky-ass lazy dickhole Bennet would say, these sons-a-bitches? I mean, I’m pretty sure at least one of them is seriously fuckin’ unhinged.” John looked at her again, this time with an expression Mike had actually not seen in months at least in relation to professional wrestling. “They seem nice.” Holding up a finger, Mike walked over to the phone and turned the camera off for the time being, and turning back to their partner, finally gave voice to their concern. “Bud, are you okay? You haven’t said that in ages and you seem kinda… I dunno. Off? Talk to me. Tell me what’s up.” John took off his shades and looked directly at them. “I don’t know what you mean.” Mike took theirs off as well, looking back at him with a bit of a frown, shaking their head. “That ain’t gonna work, Church. I know you too good by now.” John averted his eyes from her gaze. “Well.” “And when’s the last time you corrected my goddamn grammar? Look. Real fucking talk. We’re supposed to trust each other. If there’s a problem I wanna help, you KNOW that. So. Please. If something’s wrong, would you please tell me? We’ll work it out. We can do anything.” Mike comes closer, reaching out and resting a hand on his arm. They were allowed to do this now (a level of mutual comfort they felt more grateful for than they could say) but they knew it’d get him to focus on them. They looked up, dark green eyes almost pleading with him to be open with them. John sighed. “I’m not like you. Mike. I told you that I’d uphold the integrity of this sport by staying in the bounds of the rules. But I’m not David. I’m not Natalie. But it looks good. It looks like I’m taking a stand.” And he shook his head. He struggled to find his words and Mike lightly squeezed his forearm. “But it’s something you don’t say for public consumption. Because it’s like chum in the water. I’m no righteous defender of the sport. I’m...afraid. Afraid of the mindset it takes to go beyond what has been given to me.” John raised brought up hands, palms facing towards him. “That fear makes me a coward. Unable to act. Confirming the criticisms. Getting in your way. Causing you harm. Last time this came up, I watched you stagger about afterwards unable to tell me what state we were in. That was my inaction. My cowardice.” Mike listened. They may have the reputation of a loudmouth, but whenever John spoke, Mike always gave him their full attention, no matter what else they may be doing. They listened until he was finished. Then they wrapped her arms around him, squeezing and staying there a moment before stepping back. “Don’t ever say that. You are not a coward, John, you hear me? You’re… shit. You’re the most fucking noble, upright person I’ve ever met. Anything that happens to me, don’t blame yourself for that. I get myself in a shitton of trouble on my own. So yeah. You’re not like anybody else. So what? I LIKE that you aren’t like me. I like that you’re like you. And if you don’t want to use weapons? You don’t have to. I’m hardcore enough for both of us.” They gave a slightly wavering little ‘heh’, probably to lighten the mood a bit. “Besides. You’ve bent the rules a little before. In Oakland.” He shuffled his feet in the sand. “I don’t remember such a thing.” His tone was coy. So perhaps a good sign. “You did though. You jumped off the top. It was fuckin’ awesome. I’ll show you later but it was totally sweet.” “Just kind of in the moment. Never did that before.” “You should do that kind of thing more often, y’know, if you feel okay with it. Hell, maybe in this match. You don’t gotta break the rules if you don’t want, but maybe you could do stuff like that. Skirt ‘em a little, you know? And leave the fuckin’ screaming murder shit to me.” John nodded, smiling faintly but earnestly. Mike smiled back, glanced toward the camera and, with a gesture of approval on their partner’s part, resumed recording. “Woo! Sorry about the weird cut there, Faithful, minor tech difficulties.” “Actually I forgot my line.” “We have lines?” She snickered, tucking a windblown strand of hair back under her Mets cap. “Anyway. Our competition this week. Young Sinatra and Anthony Grunge. One would be crooner and one guy crazier than a sack full of rabid goddamn ferrets.” “I don’t think this Sinatra sings at all.” “He don’t? Aw, that sucks, I wanted to hear him do ‘AIn’t That A Kick In The Head.’” “He is however another Messiah.” Mike shook her head, tisking in obvious disappointment. “Now, this is a real fuckin’ shame. See, this Young Sinatra guy ain’t unknown to us. He came into our FighterTalk thread and said how big of a fan he was, and I was like, ‘awww, what a sweet kid!’ Then I heard him talk. And holy fucking christ he’s ANOTHER one of these anti-hardcore crusaders with a God complex. Who probably thinks I’m some kind of abomination unto the holy ring or whatever. Listen up, Lil’ Blue Eyes. I don’t go waving this around cuz believe it or not I got an ounce of humbleness in me about it, but do you know who taught me? Harley Fucking Race, the King himself. And if that ain’t pure enough a pedigree to satisfy your uppity fuckin’ sensibilities, I don’t know what is. So I will do whatever the shit I want in this match and if you got somethin’ to say to me about it? Keep your fuckin’ mouth shut or me an’ my Louisville Slugger’ll shut it for you.” Her grin had gained a somewhat rabid quality. John’s mouth was slightly agape at the outburst, but he felt the truth in this words and quickly stepped in line with a reaffirming nod. “That’s… right. Mike and me had hopes for you. Would you believe that David Scott, of all people, enjoys riding Space Mountain? That guy?” Mike blinked and tried (and failed) to say something a few times, obviously trying not to fall over and roll into the Pacific in a fit of laughter. “What? What did I say?” “Nothing! Nothing, keep going, you’re good.” She held a hand up to her face, barely concealing a ‘Woooo!’ John shook his head and continued. “You and me. We share something in common. In the physical sense. We’re on the outside looking in. However, you’re representing that division in an ironic fashion. I assure you that this match will be anything but make-believe. Leave your moralizing at the curtain. You don’t do what you do because you’re taking a grand stance against depravity. You have no real aspirations to make any changes that benefit anyone but yourself. You want to remake the world in your image. Your opposition is not the Madison brothers. It is not any other‘team’ in our division.” John stepped forward and looked directly in the camera as opposed to his normal past the camera gaze.. “You will stand face to face with the constant of the tag team division. Understand this. What you will say and what you will assume of us will be what we’ve heard since day one. You will try to pick us apart. You will try to drive a wedge in our partnership by playing to simple human nature. If you do that: you don’t get us.” “So. With Snooty No Hardcore Guy addressed, let’s move on, shall we? Anthony Grunge. Now here we got a complete opposite dude. No classy classic piano tickling and smooth crooning here, now we got a raw, smashmouth, in your face cat from right here in L.A., so he’s gonna have a nice hometown advantage going on. Which is very cool. Problem is, like I noted before… this guy is absolutely fucking nuts.” “That unpredictability has perhaps brought him unpredictable results. It would be arrogant of us to be so dismissive of a man who’s proclivities lead him to have discussions with a cactus. This man gives everything no matter the circumstances and I know that he will not be intimidated to the ones he has been given here. Mike. Two months ago we stood before Collateral Damage, an unknown entity, and in their hearts they knew that a team with no experience would never have a chance against them. We cannot make the same mistake that they did.” Mike nodded. She knew better as well. “You’re good, Grunge. And you KNOW you’re good. You showed everybody just how good you fucking were, us included. And y’know what? You may be a crazy SOB, but nobody ever called me the picture’a sanity neither. I like the cut of your jib, dude. You proved to a stuck up purist like Sinatra that you can do it traditional, but now? You’re gonna be in the ring with ME. And I wanna see what you got. Turn up the crazy and bring it hard, cuz I’ve wanted to face someone like you since I fuckin’ got here.” John stood back beside his partner and for a second appearance in a row, he wrapped his arm around Mike’s shoulders. “But despite the non-standard rules of this match, two men who are ideologically opposed will be forced to work together against one team. We are not the tag team champions. We have defeated the tag team champions. And we are not the number one contenders but we don’t haphazardly cost each other matches either.” “They ain’t just ‘ideologically opposed’, bud. They outright fuckin’ HATE each other. And that? That above everything else, the skill and the snootiness and the hardcore and the crazy, is what’s gonna get us the win here. Cuz Church and me? We love each other. We’ve gone up and down the road, done everything together, we train together all the time. We know each other in an’ out, back an’ frontways. Our sync is perfect. I bet he even knows what I’m thinking right now.” She made a show of putting on a ‘hard thinking’ expression. “No electric toothbrush.” “If all goes well, partner. If all goes well.” Mike looked up at the cottage, perhaps at someone just visible through the window, and grins slyly. “So. Grunge, Sinatra, we will see you on Monday. If you don’t kill each other first. As for us? We’ve worked our butts off and now it’s time for some play. Cuz what’s the point of coming all the way to the beach and Not Surfing the Fucking Waves?” Beaming, she yanked a pair of boogie boards out of the sand, handing her partner one. There’s also a third, but it stays put. Waving, she strode over to the phone and ended the recording. Soon as the stuff from their promo was stashed away- the tripod, the sandwich board, the excess of self-branded merch- NSFW was joined by the third person sharing their little beachside cottage for their two weeks in California. Mike found it happily ironic. They had left her at her house on one end of the country only to join her on the other side. It was like a rainbow with a pot of gold at both ends. As the Southern Belle stepped out onto the deck and joined her friends on the sand, Mike couldn’t help but give her an appreciative look over- she looked damn good in a bikini and, as with her ring gear, coral was absolutely Natalie’s color. But she didn’t spend too long ogling: whipping off her tank top to reveal a flesh tone swim top underneath, she grabbed her board and, hollering for her friends to follow, ran into the sea full tilt. It’d been far too long since either Mike or John had seen the ocean, and they were reveling in it. It was Natalie that came back to shore first, dropping her boogie board onto the sand before taking a seat on it. A couple weeks of recovery time had done wonders for her condition, the bruises along her ribs and backs mostly gone. She was still healing, though, and the combination of salt water and sun on her skin felt like it was helping matters. Or maybe that was just the company talking. A short time passed before she’s joined by Mike, who plops her board next to Natalie’s and sits down as well, a smile on her face. The constant breeze smelled fresh and salty, and the sun was beginning to come down, glittering on the ocean. “I’m so freakin’ glad you came, Miss Natalie. You… heh. You look a lot better. Not that you looked bad before or nothin’! Just, y’know. Less banged up. Like you feel better.” Knocking her wet bangs out of her face, she looked over to the other woman with as sweet a smile as the rough brawler could possibly manage. Returning that smile, the blond nodded. “I do feel better, thanks. Don’t tell him I said so, but Mister Morgan was right in that I needed to take it easy for a couple of weeks.” That smile turned into a playful sort of grin as Natalie leaned over, nudging Mike’s shoulder with her own. A third boogie board plopped itself beside them. John, soaking wet, disheveled, and short of breath, plopped down as well. “I don’t think I’ll be doing that again.” “Aw, really? I could do that all day. I feel like a mermaid. A badass mermaid with a freakin’ shark tail and awesome tattoos. I’d ask if we could move here if I didn’t like our house so much. And if it wouldn’t put us clear on the other side of the country from you, Miss Nat.” She laughed, curling her toes in the sand. The ocean was starting to take on the pink and orange hues of the sky. “And when he says ‘take it easy’, does he mean, like, no strenuous activity? At all? None?” That smile was getting awfully cheeky… though at least this time, the blond was prepared to fire back. “If he did, do you think I would’ve packed my swimsuit?” “Mmm, point. A’course, if you’re allowed to go swimming and boarding…” That smile only got more coy. John looked past Mike in the middle and right at Natalie. “I don’t think that’s the kind of strenuous activity that they are talking about.” “Well clearly--wait. ‘They’?” Leaning forward a little, the Southern Belle looked at both members of NSFW with a brow raised. “Forgive me, but I’m a little confused. Why did you call Mike ‘they’?” His reply was direct. “Because that is who Mike is, Natalie.” Mike, for her part, froze. Her grip dug into the sides of her board, leaving impressions in the foam. Her heart started pounding, and the pleasantly warm evening suddenly felt ice cold.Oh god. Please don’t let it happen again. I couldn’t handle it if it did. Don’t freak out. Please don’t freak out… “I… understand, I think.” Leaning over, Natalie’s head rested on Mike’s shoulder, a sandy arm looping around the small of their back before she continued. “I mean, if you’ve got your preferences that’s fine… and I’ll do my best to use them. But it doesn’t really matter to me, y’know? So long as you’re you, Mike.” “R...really? You don’t think it’s weird? I mean nobody knows but… but John. I’m. I’m not really a girl, b-but I’m not a guy a’neither…” “You’re Mike.” “And really, wanting to be called ‘they’ is normal compared to the one guy I used to wrestle with that insisted that he was really a giant albino lizard like Godzilla, or the Cult of Yorlik… or, well, most of my time in Hardkore World.” There was a quiet pause for just a moment. And then, Mike laughed. It was not only a response to hearing something funny, but a sound of pure relief. They lean their cheek against Natalie’s wet hair, arm curling around her back in turn. However, their other hand reaches in the other direction, wrapping around her partner’s wrist. The closest they could get to holding his hand. “Hey. Just so you know? You guys are the fucking best.”

#archive

[junker-town]

THIS WEEK IN SCHADENFREUDE, where Oklahoma State fans call for Mike Gundy’s mullet’s job

Also in the weekly roundup of post-Saturday internet angst: a dying man wishes for Arkansas to fire Bret Bielema, and Florida State fans want their .800-winning-percentage coach gone.

College football’s Week 4 was busy. It didn’t have any colossal upsets, but it had some surprises and a few brushes with chaos. Here’s how the internet responded, seen through the lens of five defeated fanbases whose online scenes I’ve toured.

Oklahoma State

Lost to TCU, 44-31, in a home upset. Someone proposed drastic consequences: the cleaving of head coach Mike Gundy’s immaculate mullet, a fixture since last year.

Let’s begin at the OrangePower.com message boards.

Thread: Time To Cut The Mullet, Coach

Okay. We get it. The Mullet took started as a joke, then took on a life of it's own.

That's great marketing --- when you're undefeated and riding the crest of a popularity wave.

But now you've gotten you a** kicked on national tv. You were beotch-slapped by a better game day coach that took you and your team to the woodshed.

The score was closer, but the game was a disaster.

But this isn’t strictly punitive. The poster thinks Gundy could stand to focus more on other things more productive to OSU’s mission if he gets rid of the haircut:

So, it's time to take a new focus -- one on the team not on your current media popular hairstyle.

Trim the mullet. Put the attention on improving the defense instead of your hair and lifestyle. The public loves it when you're winning, but when you're losing -- it doesn't care.

It was fun while it lasted, but now it's time to cut the damn thing.

This suggestion was met with widespread agreement. One poster couldn’t believe Gundy had lost to “a stupid visor wearing mf’er” like TCU coach Gary Patterson.

Someone sums it up:

Time to be business in the front, and back.

Another Pokes fan thinks Gundy needs to stop hunting turtles.

We’ve known for a while that Gundy hunts rattlesnakes:

Rattlesnake hunt in Okeene, OK with Todd and Wild Bill. http://pic.twitter.com/0SqWb9LxFk

— Mike Gundy (@CoachGundy) March 17, 2017

But a few weeks back, Gundy said he likes hunting turtles, too.

“They’re really good. When they know you get around them, they jump in the water,” Gundy said. “And so you got to kind of sneak up on them a little bit. At my place, we have quite a few of those off-road vehicles, called Gators. And so they’re accustomed to the sound of the Gator. So if you drive a Gator by, they won’t move. They’ll stay there. But if you walk up on them, you can’t very close to them because they’re too smart. They’ll jump in the water. So we used the Gators as our friend and try to keep as many turtles as we can out of the ponds because they eat your fish.”

Thread: How about a little less turtle hunting

and a lot more team preparation.

I wanna circle back to the mullet thing. So many OSU fans are directly reaching out to Gundy to tell him it’s time to get a haircut.

Cut the mullet @CoachGundy

— Emily Falkenberg (@Emilypfalk) September 23, 2017

Time to cut the mullet @CoachGundy #osuvstcu #ridiculousgame

— Jill Kimbrough (@jillkimbrough) September 23, 2017

Here’s Gundy getting told off by a couple of fans after tweeting appreciation for a group that brings seriously ill children to sporting events:

Cut the mullet

— Shane Wilde (@noShandlebars) September 24, 2017

Time the let the mullet go. Business in the front & back!

— Manscape & Massage (@ManscapeMassage) September 24, 2017

Cut your hair and donate half your salary back to Oklahoma teachers. Be a man. You are over paid

— My Info (@shirlmatlock56) September 24, 2017

“Be a man,” on the 10-year anniversary week of the “I’m a man” rant, no less.

Florida State

Lost 27-21 to NC State, falling to 0-2 and out of the AP Poll while the other team’s best player stopped to drop a loogie on the Noles’ logo.

The loss dropped Jimbo Fisher to a measly 78-19 at FSU, and he still just has one national title in eight-plus seasons, and there might be one, two, or even three coaches in the country slightly better than him.

Let’s see how Noles fans responded!

Here’s a gentleman screaming that Fisher’s overpaid and that his defensive coordinator, Charles Kelly, should be fired:

Can we fire jimbo fisher please! @FSUFootball

— Jonah Pate (@PateJonah) September 23, 2017

Jimbo Fisher is garbage . Fire him @FSUFootball

— Brad Dozier (@b_dozz) September 23, 2017

Let’s scoot on over to the message boards at Noles247.

Thread: Fire them all

Thread: Jimbo is a JOKE

So soft..not a Bowden bone in him.He’s just becoming noise.When u have more talent just play ball.why does he think he can win games 17-14 with this OL,DC and his play calling??...u just get tired watching this.

Thread: Fisher and whole staff need to be fired.

Totally inept and we will never be back to Playoffs with him. Only way to retain him is if he does what Dabo does, go get great coordinators, and then get out if their way and just be a cheerleader and recruiter. But, dumbo is to stubborn to do that,

FSU has made one of the three Playoffs that have ever been played. It’ll miss this year’s, which will drop Fisher to a mere .250 all-time Playoff participation rate.

Some people had a more pensive, chill attitude about everything.

Thread: I Don't know why Everyone's So Pissed Off That We Suck

So we suck. Who cares? Grow up.

Same:

Thread: I'm just here for the meltdown.

Love reading all the meltdown threads. My favorite part is when another team has a meltdown and everyone is so quick to point and laugh like it's beneath them. Who should we fire today fellas??? Maybe even shut program down at this point.

Boise State

Lost at home to Virginia, 42-23. Virginia! 42-23!

How does the commentariat feel about head coach Bryan Harsin, an alum who’s now fallen all the way to 40-16 all-time as the Broncos’ head coach?

To Boise’s Scout.com message board we go.

Thread: What does the buyout look like

Thread: Is this the darkest moment.........

for Boise State football in the 21st century or has it been worse? I am just not accustomed to seeing what I am seeing.

One message board poster, screen name zagco, had a specific demand.

Thread: Fire Brian Harsin!

Zagco is going to start a website!

Merely a half-hour after that plea, zagco said zagco was signing off altogether.

Thread: Goodbye BroncoCountry

Zagco is totally done with Boise State football until Harsin is gone. No more posts.

A short while later, another board poster was offering to buy the domain name firebryanharsin.com (for 25 percent off!) if someone else on the forum agreed to help manage the page. But another poster suggested a simpler solution:

Just create a fire Bryan Harsin Facebook page. It's free

To which the solicitor replied, “Good call.”

The Fire Harsin Facebook page doesn’t appear to be active yet. But!

(function(d, s, id) { var js, fjs = d.getElementsByTagName(s)[0]; if (d.getElementById(id)) return; js = d.createElement(s); js.id = id; js.src = "//connect.facebook.net/en_US/sdk.js#xfbml=1&version=v2.10"; fjs.parentNode.insertBefore(js, fjs); }(document, 'script', 'facebook-jssdk'));

Fire Bryan Harsin! Hire Les Miles!! Boise State so not the same

Posted by Nick Olsen on Friday, 22 September 2017

That is, if they can keep Les Miles away from the Nebraska AD job.

Kentucky

Lost 28-27 to Florida when its defense literally forgot to cover a receiver. That made 31 consecutive losses to UF, many of them in painful fashion.

But was this crushing to the program?

On the one hand, there’s a thread on UK’s Rivals board that’s titled, “Last Night Not Crushing to the Program.”

On the other, there’s another thread that’s titled, “Hard to overstate how crushing this is to the program.”

Here’s an exceptionally dark metaphor about Kentucky football in general.

Thread: Kentucky Football Reminds Me Of

The fable of the turtle and the scorpion. The gist of it is the scorpion wanted to ride the turtle across the river and promised he wouldn't sting the turtle if he gave him a ride. The turtle reluctantly agreed to take the scorpion. Halfway across the river the scorpion stings the turtle. The turtle asks, "why did you do that? Now we will both drown." The scorpion replies, "it's just my nature."

The Kentucky football fans are the turtle. The football team is the scorpion. No matter how much you expect something bad to happen, you reluctantly believe everything will be fine. So you go along for the ride and get your hopes up only to have it sting you and you sink to the bottom. That is how Kentucky football feels to me.

Here’s a Reddit thread I just figured I’d drop in full.

Slightly NSFW:

Arkansas

Lost to Texas A&M in overtime, like it does every year.

One fan says his near-death grandfather wants Bret Bielema fired before he dies.

@ClayTravis From Arkansas message board.. Amazing #hogs http://pic.twitter.com/nWzdQioLzM

— Jared Roll (@jroll918) September 23, 2017

Arkansas fans are less than stoked about their head coach and athletic director.

Let’s peruse Hogville.net for a few minutes.

Thread: Economical Solution to Our Problem

Replace AD Jeff Long with Wisconsin’s Barry Alvarez, who has worked nowhere other than Wisconsin since 1990. It’s an airtight plan.

Fire Long. Hire Barry Alvarez. Alvarez is making $1.125 million at Wisconsin. BB can be Alvarez's boy again, do as he is told, and regain his former level of highish mediocrity.

Thread: Go away BB

BB please go away. You are the worst coach we have ever had. Our program and state deserves better and Ws matter.

Also, there are multiple people worried that Arkansas will lose next weekend to New Mexico State. Yet another overtime loss to Aggies?

Is there a GoFundMe to pay Bielema’s massive buyout, currently north of $15 million?

Hell yeah there is.

The fundraiser, Austin Johnson, writes:

It's safe to say that Bret's time here should be over, however, Jeff Long has made this difficult with the lucrative 15.5 mil buyout, let's end this misery ourselves

Does the GoFundMe have any actual donations?

No, of course not.

So, any other solutions to make Arkansas competitive in the SEC West?

None better than this:

@jefflongUA How about Jimmy Johnson! Played for Razorbacks, won National Championship and also Super Bowls.

— Todd Naccarato (@todd_naccarato) September 24, 2017