#i have done nothing productive all day

[why-the-heck-not]

19.12.23, tuesday

0.5h of coding lol

wasn’t having the best day so decided to finally watch the barbie-movie (it’s on hbo rn) bc figured that could cheer me up

but bc the universe loves a good timing, on the grocery store trip after, some dudes came to me like ”which one of us would u fuck?” and that annoyed me way more than it should’ve. Like cmon, it’s 10pm at a grocery store; if you’re not cottage cheese or olive oil get tf out of my face

just a short evening walk bc it was windy and I was annoyed

#also the barbie-movie; it was fine #not my favorite but I didn’t think it’d be bc I don’t rly usually go for that genre #also at this point the hype had got to me so my expectations were very unfair #the set tho; it looked so good #I love how I planned that I’d be a machine now this week so could actually not stress during christmas but it’s looking out to be like one #of the most unproductive days I’ve had all autumn lol #i’m thinking if I should just call it and start the holidays now and just idk catch up on some of the days in between christmas & new years #and I do have 8 days after new years before other courses start #but idk if I do thay I might not rly be able to chill during christmas #like rn I’m thinking if I should bring my laptop with me just in case I could squeeze a couple hours here & there during the few days #which is not the thing to do obviously; like it’s 5 days I can be apart from my laptop for 5 days #but it feels like with the amount of stuff I’ve gotten done I rly couldn’t afford a 5 day break rn #idk I’ll figure it out I won’t bring a laptop just to haunt me #(I’m bad at fully relaxing; there’s always the ’’u could be doing something productive tho’’-voice) #(which I don’t listen but then I just get nothing done and also never rly relax which is good super good) #(can u tell im still annoyed at everything rn lol sorry for the tag rant) #december 2023 #2023 #today

[icewindandboringhorror]

... why he sit like this

#in this position his face is extremely 'cartoon cat' shaped.. like the perfectly round cheeks and little #rounded bump of a snout.. big round eyes. etc. stretched over the arm of a chair like a weirdo #cats #It's still Hot Evil Summer time and I have so much to do so am just aimlessly hopping between various projects but not actually #getting anything done. as usual. Also so so so so tired. I almost fell asleep in the middle of the floor like 3 times today lol #Trying to finish some costume photos and also another poll adventure thing. plus I do really want to do a sculpture sometime #I haven't finished one in a while. Hopefully my tiredness is nothing bad. #Maybe I'm anemic again so that's making me tired. Or maybe it's just a Listless phase. not that I'm ever really THAT productive considering #all of the health problems and etc. always holding me back. but still. I'm not usually 'sleep or just stare at a wall literally all day' ty #e unproductive.. at least not for multiple days in a row so. hmm... Sometimes especially in the summer though I will have periods of time #that are listless like that. I am under low level phyiscal stress for months at a time due to summer heat so I guess it makes sense #that would eventually take a toll. I just have SO MANY THINGS I WANT TO DO!!!!! AAUUGhhh #I also came up with a new idea for a game that is so so cool and I wish I could make it but I have to finish the other one first lol #which I will NEVER do. if I spend all day just sleepy unfocused barely able to do anything #I also really need to sell some clothes and sculptures because I'll probably have to buy a new computer soon so I need money. (plus still #recovering the costs of having to euthanize my other cat.. wehh) There's nothing clearly wrong with it right now but it's getting gradually #slower and there's more weird glitches happening randomly and idk.. just weird things that make me think 'hmm... bad.. possibly.' #ANYWAY... I just have so much to do that I both REALLY want or need to do - so it's perpetually frustrating that I just can't for whatever #reason like. Time is always mving forward. every day I waste is a wasted day. The year is already almost half over. I havent finished #any of the projects I wanted to .. and there's only more and more things to do each day. It's overwhelming and stinky #and thats not even considering having to do all of my tasks also with the background noise of economic inequality. everything increasingly #going into an even scarier political direction. active climate change crisis. pandemic that still exists and is insane to act otherwise. et #etc. HOW am I supposed to solo make two whole games . write 3 book series. finish sculptures. do costumes. make outfits. game videos. make #stable network of social connections. do my little side crafts. take care of myself and cats. pay rent. manage health issues. keep a routin #.try to make some sort of money. go to doctors appointments. handle regular maintenance like cleaning and cooking and self care #and buying new plates when old ones break or etc. make sure to do other things like backup my computer data regularly. do shopping lists. #take care of plants. pursue like 6 different academic interests. do the other side side projects I have for fun (like music or carving avoc #ado pits). eat in a healthy way thats okay for my Special Health Issue diet. exercise so i don't die early. etc. etc. etc. AND all while it #82F in my apartment all the time and I have tiny income and also need to move to another country/climate somehow??? lol...... #ANYWAY.. ..very frustrated today over my chronic Tired Sleepy.. time for Cat Photos - which cure all of life's ailments lol

[hella1975]

FRESH NAILS LETS GOOOOO

#they look so hot they’re so long and pointy. im gonna GET you #I’ve had such a productive day I finally cleaned up my revision pit that I left behind when I went home #so finally tidied my room and washed my dishes and emptied my bin and cleaned my surfaces etc #and then I got my nails done which is of course SUCH a slay #and then i went to boots and my mate has a loyalty card with student discount on it that i copped #tell me how i got hair dye (this alone was £8) body wash shampoo conditioner and a hair mask ALL for £13. insane bargains from me #and then i finally FINALLY did a big shop bc I’ve fully not done one since coming back after xmas #im so accomplished let’s gooo #honestly i feel really restless and like I’m staving off an inevitable episode bc I just feel soooo ough and unsettled #and it’s always Bad when it gets like this but if i just keep doing things and ignoring it then everything will be fine! 😄 #about to have a FAT bath. nothing is wrong with me #hella goes to uni

[non-un-topo]

Genuinely so sad because I wish I could just draw and write again

#we knew the good (productive) times couldn't last forever. #i used to be able to write 11k without a break. doing all-nighters i was so into it. used to be able to draw multiple sketches a day. #now i just feel totally drained and flat. bled dry. where's the excitement in drawing and writing anymore? #i just need to graduate. i need to finish this life chapter and do OTHER things. #it's hard to keep drawing/writing on a dying website for a dying fandom #thinking about trying to write something original because of my specific interests #y'know how at a certain point it starts to sound less like fan fiction and more just original. #there might be a chance i'm very depressed. like no longer in the mopey edgy teenage way #but in the long-term quiet withdrawn flat and emotionally dead way. #wdym i'm 26 and have done basically nothing? wdym i'm a 26 year old woman?? i'll be 30 soon?? #idk what would fix me. i'm doing what i can. #fuck i miss writing my dumb queer quartet mysteries

[1-ufo]

I got invited to see a show for a band I love for free tomorrow but I looked at my bank account today and I have 36 dollars until tuesday after next and I have to drive an hour and a half to the cities to go to the concert (and back) and if we go out for food that’s gonna be like. All my money and I’m having a lot of anxiety about it all now and I can feel myself also coming up with excuses to cancel what would otherwise be a good and healthy outing for me to combat some of my agoraphobia but goddamn

#literally have done nothing productive today just because the anxiety if else about this whole thing #and she said I can spend the night and we can go to their art studio the next day and I would love to do all that #I’m mostly just trying to not be the person who cancels #but also like I can’t even buy a drink without feeling horrible about it. #I hate being this poor tbh #but also they’re doing an art crawl at their studio early next month and if I could get some paintings in there maybe I could sell 1 or 2 #that would be great

[thatoneweirdo14]

Breaking news: I am a massive simp for hua cheng

#everything this man does makes me scream #he single handedly raised my expectations for men #like i need a guy who lights 3000 lanterns for me and humiliates at least 33 heavenly officials bc they hurt me and fills a cave with pic #ture perfect statues of me and treats me with more love in one day than most people receive in their entire life and kills anyone who even #slightly annoys me #otherwise whats the point yk #“wdym you can only defeat 22 heavenly officials and arent the ghost king” #“and you think youre good enough for me?” #i say whilst binging tgcf for the third time in the jp dub having done nothing productive during my summer break #with my most important career deciding exams next year #not even joking im rewatching all of tgcf in the english dub and im kver halfway through #once im done jp dub is next #👍👍👍👍👍 #mxtx tgcf #tgcf #tian guan ci fu #heaven official's blessing #hua cheng #tgcf hua cheng #i am down bad #a

[morphogenetic]

how does anyone get anything done if you only have single hour or half-hour chunks to do it. im fucking dying out here I can't fucking do anything in an hour I NEED two and a half hour chunks to be able to even sit down and focus

#of course this has done a number on my productivity lol but you know ! #any advice here would be appreciated im so goddamn tired of being able to do nothing all day bc i have constant meeting ls #meetings** #junpei.txt

[boxwinebaddie]

hi, friends! just a little uncle nina life update: i have spring break in about two days and while i'd love nothing more than to write endlessly, there are a lot of irl tasks that i neglected or couldn't do bc i was busy, put off bc i was stressed, etc. so those are all going to have to come before me hunkering down and doing big writing.

— which i can't do if my environment is chaotic Anyways

but i digress.

tldr: if i seem quiet, i'm very exhausted, not in a good head space to write rn and i have a million offline things i have to get done. which, hopefully, once all my tasks have been mastered i'll be set up for success. but dw, i'll update yall as i go, do ask memes here and there: i just need to get my life in order before i ~Write Write~

#nina speaks #idk if this makes sense #i have been trying to write this one ask meme all day and i deadass keep falling asleep every 5 secs from exhaustion #like that is how tired i am and idk i have so many chores and things i think im gonna try and get a headstart 2nite #but unfortunately life isnt all *kenny vc* strippers and burritos for me rn my friends #i gotta get a fuck ton of shit done my spring break is going to be productive i hope and i want to renovate my writing space #and dress her up and do all my laundry and not be trying to write beautiful things somewhere ugly #i think its why all my work has been grimey and angry lately #but yeah uncle nina says chores first responsibilities first #then fiesta y siesta #but yeah sorry if my ask memes are taking a long time idk i hate being boring or giving yall nothing but id rather #post nothing than post a bad answer #idk im having a panicked girlie moment again i think but im gonna hopefully get an ask or two out tonight and start tasks #i want to make lists like i need structure again omg i am dying #you guys can come with me on my organized girl journey #also i see all the anons im so sorry i will get to them soon i dont want to answer them under duress #alexa play under pressure

[airenyah]

me: really tired, eyes hurting, just wants to sleep bc i have violin lesson in the morning and some deadlines to keep in mind

insomnia, the moment i close my eyes:

#anyway it's 4:45am and i've gone to work on my paper instead of sleeping #chances are i'm gonna be more productive now than i ever could have been during the day even if i'd slept through the night #i simply just work best when the sun is down #aaaanyway gotta get back to writing so i don't end up pulling an all-nighter for nothing #airenyah plappert #hello darkness my old friend #i've already written like 100 words in only 20-30mins #i'm so NOT motivated for this paper that i've spent an entire day writing only like 100 words #so this is already progress #i have about 4h until i need to get ready for my violin lesson sooo #here's hoping there'll be many more 20-30mins where i'll write 100 words #that's many many words i could be managing in the span of 4h #(i need to write at least 1.5k more words in this chapter and then the paper is also still missing an introduction and a conclusion) #(i have about a week left to get it done) #(wish me luck)

[cinnamon-phrog]

College has been much harder on me then I expected and the people there are godawful annoying so I am taking ONE day off. Of my own accord because other days off are led on by the staff themselves after seeing me have panic attacks so bad they had to phone me a taxi home so they don't count. Today I am CHOOSING to do this.

#i'm happier when i'm at home because i'm actually productive there #i'll get washing done and cook and bake. talk to friends and go outside. grab necessities at the shops if needed #college is a friggin 9 to 5 and to someone who came from a lax school the whiplash is intense #so i am choosinh this day to get washing done. do some baking or cooking #grab some milk or i'll have nothing to put on my cereal and some butter too [not for the cereal lol] #i'll save it all to about lunchtime though right now i commit the sin of Sloth

[icewindandboringhorror]

sometimes looking at like Self Help Strategies lists for the symptoms I'm having is always just like:

thing that I already do

thing I have tried 10 times

thing I already do

thing that I don't have the money to do

thing I already do

thing I've been doing since I was 10yrs old to no avail

thing that is impossible given my situation

thing that doesn't apply to me

thing that I already do

thing I have already tried

hrmm, oh wait, maybe finally- OH, yeah.. okay. thing that I already do but it was just phrased slightly differently

thing I have already done

#I think maybe productivity tips help less if the reason you're unproductive is partially like.. physcial health and other extenral things #out of your control. rather than just like having trouble paying attention or spending too much time on tiktok or whatever #all the strategic to do lists in the world are not going to somehow prevent me from waking up with a debilitating migraine or whatever #or having external stressors or lacking resources and connections or other Productivity Essentials etc. #especially many tips involve stuff like 'cut off from social media' since thats the modern day time waster for so many poeple #and it's like.. lol.. i can hardly even maintain a blog even thuogh i actively WANT TO DO SO. 'shut off your smart phone!' already #done babey i fucking hate smart phones i shall never use an app unless i am forced to. 'delete tiktok' yep. already covered. tiktok and #all of those thinsg are my enemies. 'save money by cancelling some of your services' cool. already ahead of you. #who the fuck is out here paying for like 10 different subscription services. pirated videos uploaded to google drive and youtube to mp3 #my beloved. etc. etc. and so on. 'socialize less' .........LOL.. if only you knew.. mr.writer of the article. i can barely muster #talking to friends more than once a month and even less if I'm actively sick (often occurence) etc. etc. ... hewoo #I think maybe instead of generic productivity tips I need more like.. how to refocus and be productive anyway even if you have a headache #or are nauseous or etc. Not that those are always things to ignore. and of course you should let your body rest and etc. But plenty of peop #e have mild physical symptoms and just work through them. Ithink something about the way my body/mind is SOO hyper attuned to all #sensory information just makes it like... constantly 'GRR well I cant focus on WRITING right now because my lef #t ear feels weird and my socks are too itchy and my back has a strange pressure and I'm vaguely warm and my eye feels some ssort of #way it doesnt normally feel and I'm hyperaware of my breathing and also nauseous for no reason' and like half of those things I #think '''normal''' people wouldnt even notice or at least would be able to just live through. but for me it's like.. nealry impossible to i #gnore and soooo distracting always. like 'wahh.. nooo we can't draw or get anything done.. my legs feel slightly heavy or something!!' #like............. ok......... who cares. thats not even a PAIN sensation it's just something weird. but it's just like.. NO. constant #mental alerts about the 'heaviness' of your legs be upon ye. Though Imean like.. yes.. 70% of the time I am in genuine pain #or having some sort of actual ailment with trackable physical symptoms. but sometimes it's just like... we could totally be working right #now and ignoring this silly thing but my brain is fixated on it for no reason uncontrollably. etc. etc. I guess it's the same way that like #most people can go to a grocery store without the whole experience being so overwhelming and so much stuff going on at once #that they have to rest afterwards but like.. in my own HOME doing NOTHING i feel like I should be able to not get overwhelmed lol. ANYWAY #Rolling my bastard little rock up a dumbass hill and so on and so forth

[bladeofthestars]

.

#i'm so fucking stressed all the time #i want to be done with this stupid class #i wanna hang out and do stupid stuff with my stupid friends more #but they're all busy with other stupid shit #i'm just flailing around drowning trying to cling to something but all the rocks here are slick and the waves keep dashing me against them #like practically nothing is making me happy right now #there are too many people in my life sick and dying right now that need attention and my sister just had a baby #and is being hit with post partum and needs attention #but i *also* need attention. just cuz? i guess? #which makes me feel like such a whiny asshole #oh boo hoo i'm dealing with the same depression that i have been since i was thirteen and it's bad right now #just. fuck. #asking for help and attention doesn't get me anywhere #except with my partner but like. i fucking ache to just spend some time with some people?? #my partner is obv a person but i need a good group sesh #drinking and board games and dumb jokes and anecdotes #and 'i thought of you's #my life right now is work. come home and fidget on my phone bc if i start a task that task should be classwork. do nothing productive or fun #sleep. wake up the next day and do it all again #cram some classwork in on my lonely weekends after everyone i've asked to hangout turns me down #fuckin keep hitting all the pleasure buttons to see if something sticks #legitimately i think i'm addicted to sugar #more often than not nowadays i feel straight uo nauseated when eating sweet things #but instead of stopping i just keep going #and i go back for more later even though it STILL makes me feel like trash then too #maybe *this* oreo will make my brain feel motivated enough to do a task #the answer is usually no #but every now and then it works so i keep fucking doing it #took a long walk the other night and it didn't help me finish task but it did bring a little peace of mind #unfortunately my legs and knees have been starting to hurt a bit again

[torchickentacos]

So my sister and I were talking and this happened (a masterpiece made in 30 seconds) (long tags)

#ok ngl lumity hasn't really captured me like a lot of ships do #idk why but it's like. i enjoy it but am not invested #BUT #there ARE parralels even if i don't think they were done as well as contestshipping #any gripes i have with it are mostly due to production issues though #mostly it just lacked the slowburn enemies to friends to lovers #bc shows used to have a bajillion episodes #and now it's struggling to fit a complete story into what the studios let them have #back in MY day (lol) shows had so much time that half the episodes had characters just fuckin around kicking sand on the beach or some shit #naruto. pokemon. fairy tail. lookin at you guys #but like. at least that means we have time for just FUN and not plot #these days every episode jams so much plot into it that there's no time to breathe #where's the TOMFOOLERY #THE SHENANIGANS #THE MAYHEM AND FOOLISHNESS #THE. CHARACTER PERSONALITY BUILDING IN OTHERWISE IRRELEVANT EPISODES #for all my complaints about pokemon advanced (whom i love dearly) at least they had time to do fuck all in the middle of a forest #it was kinda boring sometimes but at least they had the option to just. do nothing some days #granted it's the opposite extreme where we get ten episodes of eh in a row but still #i prefer that

[selfnss]

#ooc. #personal // #sorry again to come on here just to complain #but im in such a shit position i cant keep fucking doing this #im so wound up all the time #these tablets are meant to help me but so far all they've done is make me even more short tempered #i can't write #writing is usually my outletbut i can't fucking form a single sentence without hating it #i can't concentrate long enough to do anything worthwhile #and any typo i make makes me genuinely lose my top and see red #on top of that i can t help but spend my time convincing myself that people don't want anything to do with m e #i feel lik ei have to force any conversation i have with people who used to feel like they Want to talk to me #and now im sat here having a crying fit because i've been sat for an hour staring at both my blogs and my personal writing google doc and #not done a single productive thing #playing hsr is boring now too #tell me ur depressed without telling me your depressed :') #i hate it #i hate myself #this is so fucking exhausting but then i feel even worse if i just spend my days laying in bed doing nothing! #if i go radio silent then u all know why i guess

[supercantaloupe]

yeah i don't think i'm getting that phone call today

#sigh. #i wanna talk about me #i'm trying so hard to get even the crummiest of entry level jobs and absolutely nothing is coming of it #also i have a headache and have done nothing all day bc of that and waiting for the aforementioned elusive phone call #so. feeling a bit garbage if i'm honest. #gd i just want to be productive. i just want to have something to Do. i just want to make even a paltry amount of money #cause lord knows i can't rely on gigs

[xstarkillerx]

again, sorry for being so slow to get to asks, editing this film is making me genuinely want to die, things keep going wrong and I want it out of my site

#I got an extension because i got locked out of my editing room due to a faulty fucking lock #and all my stuff was inside so i had to stay on campus overnight with nothing but my phone and fucking toiletries bag #i was locked out from 10:30pm to 1:30pm the next day and i was still expected to edit #the audio i got was shit because the sound department art fucking hacks and didn't mount the mic #our director is a misogynistic idiot who didn't bother to record room tone #my fucking ex somehow got involved with the production so i have to edit around his shit acting #our cinematographer keeps hounding me to submit it #to a fucking film festival because she shot it relatively decently #BUT EVERYTHING ELSE ABOUT IT IS TRASH why would you want to show that publically? #which btw our idiot director thinks we got personally invited to show our film at a screening... it was a general email sent to the whole #student body and i had to spend 5 minutes explaining that to him #men keep giving me 'advice' which is literally common knowledge like keep your levels between -21 and -6dB #which is wrong by the way #and all of this is happening a week after one of the worst shoots of my life that went so astronomically bad me and the other producers #are now doing damage control and setting up a meeting with the director to explain that you can't treat people like shit on set you're not #stanley fucking kubric autour theory is over and we want money out of his pocket for how we were treated #oh yeah and my fucking sex addiction is acting up which is making it really fucking hard to get shit done