#i just..... he just. exists in my brain. the gremlin. doesn't even pay rent and steals all my marbles smh

[mcmoth]

The thing that makes c!Tommy such a dynamic character is that he constantly subverts expectations.

Like, from his standoffish nature and constant insults and brash attitude, you'd think he's just an asshole who thinks he's hot shit and doesn't care about others, but then his whole story is built around being loyal and self sacrificing, and he's characterised by being incredibly sentimental, and you get these moments where he's speaking softly to someone, and when he's vehemently defending his friends, and it's that duality of 'he cares so goddamn much but at the same time struggles with getting attached and showing that care".

And from the way he fits the hero role and is always at the forefront of conflict and recklessly throws himself into danger to protect others, you'd think he'd be the typical protagonist who's very openly selfless and moral and wholesome, and is doing all of that because he wants to heroically better the world, but no, he's actually just a kid who gets unfairly targeted, and he's tired and worn, and he isn't even the moral paragon of the story, and he'd much rather just live a normal life and vibe with his friends, but just because he and his family and home are constantly threatened and he refuses to give in, he has no other option than to be molded into that role.

And from his reckless attitude and carelessness and love for mischief, you'd think he'd be destructive and more prone to tear down rather than build, but no, he wants to build, he repeatedly refuses to destroy and tear down and give up on things, he wants to keep working and preserving and help the environment around him flourish, not burn, it's just that, with being raised fighting as he was, he's still waiting for his hands to loose their calluses.

And from his relentless humor and loud voice and egotistical jokes and boundless optimism, you'd think he has it all together, that he loves himself, that he knows himself, that he's confident and assured and will always get back up again without struggle, that he's the furthest thing from vulnerable. But then you see all that he has gone through, and how quickly he slipped through the cracks and into self destructive tendencies when left alone, and how he's adressed himself as just a problem, or the cause of them, and how utterly conflicted he can get about his feelings and relationships and wants, how he outrighted admitted he doesn't know who he is by himself, and it becomes incredibly apparent: this boy is the furthest thing from okay.

And from his tendency to use simplistic words and slang, his strange monologues and metaphors, his suttering rambles and general supposed innocence and ignorance, he gives off the impression of being uneducated or confused, of being less aware than other characters, immature, when in actuality, he can be pretty observant, and is often very aware of the reality of the situation, the dynamics at play, more so than many other characters, and can be quite attentive to others' motivations and priorities, and can have clever plans, and is more aware of his own feelings than people often give him credit for... he's smart. It's just that, he has so many thoughts and feelings in his brain, that get only more tangled up as the trauma keeps building, that he can get stuck in his own head and struggle with expressing himself. He might not speak in theatrics, in clear speeches and well formulated explanations, but that doesn't make his thoughts any less abundant or important, and his way of speaking is no less valid or meaningful - it is simply different.

Like... he's just, full of contradictions, except they're not contradictions, they make sense. They make sense because he's three dimensional, he's complex, and he simply refuses to be broken into any simplistic, easy to summarise box - he will break out of it. He will break those walls, and he will continue to try to thrive and exist as a fully fledged out, ever evolving person.

And I just think that's so freaking cool.

#dream smp #tommyinnit #meta #character analysis #analysis #mcyt #appreciation #positive #ramble #swearing #trauma mention tw #my own post #ahahahha..... everyone is talking about the recent streams and i still have asks to get to and other things to do... #but nope #here am i back on my c!tommy brainrot #i just..... he just. exists in my brain. the gremlin. doesn't even pay rent and steals all my marbles smh