#i keep thinking how funny it is that ev and mike are trapped in this digital world but gregory is just playing a video game

[and-stir-the-stars]

Perhaps unsurprisingly, the latest Lonely Children post got quite long, so I'm tagging you both in a new post <3

This could be the point where William tries getting Evan fully on his side, but I like to think that even though he'd trusted the creepy rabbit man over the Fragment, Evan wasn't oblivious to the red flags.... And since Glitchtrap has William's arrogance, he severely underestimates both Evan's intelligence and his willpower. This could lead to Evan learning the truth of who was behind the endless nightmare.

@dire-kumori Evan noticing the red flags!! YESS GOOD FOR HIM! He's been through so much at this point and he SO needs that win (though, i can't help but wonder what Evan thinks of the Fragment after learning the truth about Glitchtrap. Does he realize the Fragment is, at heart, a force of good that Glitchtrap wants to get rid of? Does he assume the Fragment is another one of Glitchtrap's creations put here to trick and manipulate him? Does Evan's fear of it, plus witnessing the Fragment manipulating Vanessa, lead Evan to think of it as more of an "enemy of my enemy is my ally" thing?)

And I also love the thought of Evan trying his hardest to save this kid and just failing at every turn because Michael refuses to leave this awful place [Circus Baby's]. He's certain that something much, much worse will happen if he tries running away from his 'punishment' (even if he doesn't exactly remember what he's being punished for) but he's nonetheless willing to help guide them through the level towards the exit. He's been around long enough that he knows every nook and cranny of this place ("don't go left; that way's the scooping room") and is able to get them out quickly enough. - Dire

Gregory: what's so bad about the scooping room? I could go for some ice cream...

I think another layer that makes Michael refusing to be saved even more heartwrenching is that, once the two of them get their memories back, Mike remembers just how crushing and soul-destroying it was to try saving Evan over and over only to fail and watch his little brother be torn apart so many times. Foxybro obviously doesn't (consciously) remember this, but once he gets his memories back, maybe he's left with the horrible realization that by refusing to be saved, he left Evan subject to the same torment he lived through for so long (not being able to save your brother). He's horrified that, even after everything, he still managed to find yet another way to hurt his little brother (me too, Mike; I have NO idea how you two manage to find new ways to hurt each other with every post and au I see from others or make myself. You'd think you'd run of ways eventually.)

Even when Gregory forcibly drags them both out of Circus Baby's and even before fully getting his memories back, all that self-hatred and self-doubt and the "emotional imprints" left inside him from not being able to save his little bro no matter what he does, just leads him straight back to Glitchtrap. So horribly ironic that he's the one to get completely suckered in; I have no idea what horrors Glitchtrap would have in store for him, but hopefully Gregory and Evan would manage to pull off a rescue mission (and yell at Mike for doing something so stupid.... and let their "little brother" know that they don't care whether he makes the right decisions all the time. They just want him THERE).

This whole time, I’ve been imagining [Mike/Fragment] as the age when his first little sibling was born (be that either Evan or Elizabeth, take your pick) the age where he became a big brother. He’s still so, so little, but has this new, sudden responsibility that he doesn’t quite understand.

@honey-bunnysaurus I am feeling so Reasonable and Normal about the Fragment manifesting as the same age he was when he became a big sibling for the first time. I don't have words for how beautifully painful that is; he is way too young for this really big responsibility that he doesn't understand, AND he's being given a chance to try being a good big brother (well... little brother) again on so many different levels, especially when you incorporate Dire's idea that he constantly flips between ages depending on his mental state. Mike's the one who "faded" inside the Endless Nightmare, too unsure of his place or purpose or ability to save Evan to hold himself together, so it makes sense that he'd be so fragile and unstable in this digital world. Maybe as Mike gets more and more sure of himself and his place with his new brothers, his form becomes gradually more and more stable; or, maybe it's a comfort in and of itself to Foxybro that he can flip between ages and just be himself without the fear of responsibility or judgement or messing up that made him feel the need to hide and be someone something/else even before the Bite.

Gregory still calls him tiny even when Fragment Mike reaches his teenage stage, just because it annoys Mike.  - Honey

Oh for sure. Gregory has an unending supply of nicknames that are some variation of "little bro" and "little guy." Does the use of these nicknames lead to noogie-ing when Mike is in his teenage, or maybe even young adult, form? Absolutely. But Gregory has Goldie on his side, too; they outnumber Foxybro, and Gregory is more than willing to play dirty. Just imagine Foxybro giving Gregory a noogie, Goldie tickling Foxybro to try making him let go, and finally Gregory slams his foot into the back of Foxybro's knee and the three of them collapse into a giggling pile of sibling antics on the ground as they bicker with each other.

Maybe they’d cycle through a bunch of names like the fandom does for him; Chris, Norman, Cassidy, Jeremy, so on and so forth. - Dire

!!!!

i LOVE that. Maybe Gregory throws out a couple names for Ev soon after they first meet, but Evan quietly says he doesn't know if he likes any of them. So, Gregory decides not to ask Evan if he likes the names but to randomly call Evan whatever names he thinks of and sees how his new friend reacts (I imagine a lot of these new names Gregory thinks of are actually popular memes from 2035, or whenever you think SB takes place). Despite Gregory being able to call him 15 different names in the span of five minutes, his new friend still doesn't seem to latch onto any of the ideas, though (some ideas are so bad that his new friend can't help but wrinkle his nose or stick his tongue out at them). Maybe after an exasperatingly long time of trying to find a name, they finally decide Gregory will call Evan Him (capitalization included) and Evan will call himself Me (as reference to Golden Freddy's IT'S ME IT'S ME IT'S ME). It still doesn't quite suit Evan, no, but it's better than nothing... until Evan finds the golden Fredbear plush. It's a major relief to both of them when Gregory looks between the plush and his new friend and the nickname "Goldie" slips from Gregory's smiling lips.

#i keep thinking how funny it is that ev and mike are trapped in this digital world but gregory is just playing a video game #the three of them are in a really stressful situation when gregory's parents/beta testing supervisors/guardians/whoever #scream at him to get out of the game for a few minutes #gregory has to shoot ev and mike a ''this is so embarrassing. sorry about this'' look before he disappears entirely as he #takes off the headset. ev and mike sit there awkwardly waiting for him to come back #unless ofc glitchtrap is keeping gregory locked inside the game somehow #or even the fragment's fiddling could be keeping gregory locked in on accident #also HAH gregory calling mikey 'crybaby' #crybaby complains and goldie is like well it's better than Him/Me #crybaby just pouts in response #and it's so funny to think about canon vanessa complaining about having to raise chaotic gregory and freddy robo duo #then she gets a glimpse into this vanessa's life #sees this vanessa struggling to raise the absolute messy trio that is gregory and two ghost boys (one of which #keeps flipping his ages) and canon vanessa is like ykw. maybe my life isn't THAT weird. #it'd be especially weird for vanessa if Fox occasionally changes into a young adult form #a form close to her own age #i don't think michael would use that form very much tbh #if his teenage form is a reminder of the guilt he faced over the bite‚ then his young adult form #is a reminder of all that guilt AND the crippling isolation as he lost all his friends and got scooped #and lost his family and failed liz and-- #ykw i'll stop talking now #also i tried doing a little bit of research to see where ev might find the golden fredbear plushie in the game #i watched a few minutes of someone playing through the night terrors level and messing around at the prize counter #(the two places i thought we'd be most likely to see a fredbear plush) #but there didn't really appear to be one in either of those locations #so i'm not sure where goldie finds his namesake #i suppose that's something we'll have to take creative liberties with and make up for ourselves #lonely children au #michael afton #evan afton

[klaineccfanficlibrary]

Hey, Could you make a masterpost of all the a-simple-rainbow fics/pdfs you have? I’ve read excited about things, playing with fire, is it weird, lonely in pink, the chase and am about to read a summer of cliches. I’ve loved everything I’ve read and I want to see if there’s any I’m missing (in PDF form).

One of my all time favorite authors. You can read ‘em all and you’ll be in love, too. Lovely fics and great variety.  ~Lynne

A SIMPLE RAINBOW FICS (PDF files)

HERE is the link to their AO3 author page. PDF links below.

Is It Weird  (Main story plus 5 follow ups)

Blaine sends his Topics in Contemporary Music mid-term essay to the wrong e-mail address, writing an extra m where it was supposed to read Humel. Kurt, spending a semester abroad in Paris, is having a challenging night of essay writing and procrastination, and goes a little bit beyond letting Blaine know he got the wrong person, sparking what will soon be described as a "weird pen-palish thing we got going on" that takes them both by surprise and leaves them hopeful and giddy.

#2 - Kurt Hummel and the Year with All The Emails

#3 - Of Home and Family

#4 - The Wedding Blog

#5 - Please Notice

#6 - The Interview We Never Expected

~~~~~

A Summer of Cliches 

The Hudmels decided to go to one of Europe’s sunniest countries on vacation… Kurt was sure it wouldn’t be worth it. He was so getting skin cancer. And it would be their fault. Nothing, nothing, would be worth two weeks of cancerous Sun. Or…? AU

~~~~~

The Bluebirds Flight

Kurt's on a train to New York. He's depressed, listless, alone in the world and one sad song away from a pathetic video clip moment. But things could apparently get worse: when the train becomes mysteriously empty, stops and leaves him stranded in an unfamiliar middle of nowhere. Kurt finds himself in a world with wizards and healers, and all sorts of bizarre things, but most of all where people tell him he's the Crown Prince everyone's been waiting for - prophesied to end the horrors of tyranny they've been living for the last 18 years. The only thing he wants is to go back home, but no one has a clue how to do that, and it doesn't get any easier when he finds himself wanting to help, and a little bit in love.

~~~~~

The Chase

Kurt is a college freshman showing up to campus on a sweet ass ride. He doesn’t care what others think (hasn’t since he was a sophomore and discovered the wonders of steel tip boots and detachment), but if he did, he knows they’d think he looks equal parts intimidating and cool. Badass with class.And that, right up there on the sidewalk walking towards campus, is a great ass he has class with.And since Kurt has a class with that guy, it’s not considered catcalling or sleazy to slow down and take off his helmet (for better view) and say something, is it?

~~~~~

Pride Prejudice and Superheroes

Blaine, the reluctant superhero amateur with the lamest backstory ever. Kurt, the apparent snob with an impatient attitude and an aversion to expressing gratitude. They hate one another, but the universe has other plans if the way they keep running into each other is anything to go by. College & Superhero AU

~~~~~

The Bow Tie Collection

Prompt:“I fell asleep on your couch after a party but you didn’t complain and made breakfast for the both of us” AU with the specifications of: I’d like it to be Kurt falling asleep at a Tike+Blaine houseparty (Kurt only knowing Tina and Mike, obviously) and Santana and Rachel just leaving him there because he was flirting with Blaine all evening anyway but both were too shy to actually make a move so the girls thought that some more alone time couldn’t hurt.

~~~~~

Lonely In Pink

Blaine is 27, a doctor with a three year old girl. Kurt is 18, fresh out of high school, with pink hair and combat boots. Equally drowning, they could both use a hand.

~~~~~

Of BFFs and Shoes

I decided to mesh together a fuckload of tropes/prompts. From the text to the wrong number, to meeting in an elevator. Mostly it’s funny and stupid. Apologies to anyone who likes high heeled converse all stars.

~~~~~

Rachel’s Cute Autograph

Rachel is late, and Kurt is trapped waiting for her in a street suddenly filled with people with yellow t-shirts and clipboards that are so very clearly collecting money for some cause Kurt isn't enough of a bad person to say no.

“Hi!” the boy greets with a bright smile, “Could I maybe take a minute of your time?”You can take all the minutes of my time, Kurt thinks.The boy’s eyes widen and there’s a sound of some kind of suppressed cough, the bright grin shifting slightly as his eyebrows knot together.“I said that out loud?”

~~~~~

What They Say About The Third Time

Klaine AU Meeting. Blaine is a cinematography student who agrees to help some classmates out with their end of semester project. Kurt is a fashion student who agrees to help his high school friend, Artie Abrams, when he suddenly needs an actor for the student film he’s directing. Amidst the chaos of a film studio, Kurt and Blaine.

~~~~~

About Fate

Based on a prompt from one of those AU meet cute (or in this case, meet ugly) scenarios: I hit you with my car and I was the only one visiting you at the hospital.

~~~~~

Crazy

What Klaine's part of "A Wedding" would've been like if I could have written the episode.

~~~~~

If That’s What You Want

Kurt’s jaw drops in horror (or maybe it drops because at least his body knows he should be horrified at the mere suggestion of it) “You’re suggesting I…”“Seduce him. Make him fall in love with you. Break his heart on the eve of the game. Render him useless…?” Sebastian shrugs casually, “If that’s what you think it’ll take.”

Kurt Hummel has a shot at being Captain for the Slytherin Quidditch team if only he agrees to take Hufflepuff's star Keeper out of the picture before the first big game. Of course, what he doesn't know - and would if he'd only watch a film (*any* romantic film, really) - is that it's probably the worst idea anyone has ever had for way too many reasons.And as luck would have it, Blaine Anderson has overcome many obstacles in his life, only to come out on top, but one he has never managed to get past...? His completely hopeless crush on Kurt Hummel. (Hogwarts Klaine AU)

If That’s What You Want drabble

~~~~~

Thank God For Broken Copiers

Based on the prompt: you suck at dancing but you’re doing it in a middle of a bookstore and I think it’s pretty darn cute au. (with the alterations: doesn't suck at dancing, is hot)

#klaine #klaine fanfic #klaine fanfiction #a-simple-rainbow #PDF #reaction fic #6X08 #superhero!Klaine #doctor!Blaine #HP!Klaine #gorgxoxus

[allonsysilvertongue]

Here’s a prompt: Jopper + new year’s eve celebration

I had a lot of fun writing this. Thanks for the prompt, anon!

Hawkins: The Upside - 1985

Hopper couldn’t remember thelast time he had celebrated New Year. Before he lost Sarah probably, when heactually had something to look forward to when a fresh year came. When he returnedto Hawkins in ’79, his life had spiralled out of control too much for suchtrivial things like New Year celebrations to be a feature.

Letting ’84 dissolve behindhim without much fanfare was more than acceptable to him except now, there wasEl.

Despite her special psychicabilities that set her apart, Hopper actually wanted her to have a life fromhere on out that would be as normal as possible. And normal teenagers celebrateNew Year.

It started then with a simple ‘you could invite Mike’. That somehowreached Will’s ears who in turn talked about it to Dustin and Lucas. Of course,Lucas told Max and Dustin… Well, he told Steve about it.

(Hopper still wasn’t quitesure how that friendshipcame to be but fighting alternate dimension monsters together probably bonded them).

“I heard it from Will. He saidMike told him. You’re gonna ask me how Mike knows right? That’s ‘cause El askedhim to come for Chief Hopper’s party.”

“I don’t buy it,” Stevesnorted derisively. “The Chief’s known for being a party pooper, always shuttingdown parties whenever one of us threw it. Cause we’re too loud or some shitlike that.”

Dustin rolled his eyes andshot back, “if you don’t believe me then come see for yourself, asshole.”

“His gotta be boring,” Stevecontemplated. “What’s the Chief listening to anyway? Does he even know music?”

When Joyce’s car finallyemerged through the woods in front of his cabin, Hopper already had five kidsin there. Will walked up to his door as Joyce trailed after her son.

“You’re here so you got tostay.”

He kept his voice steady soshe wouldn’t know that he needed heraround but if the way one side of her lip curled up in obvious amusement wasanything to go by, Joyce could see through his bullshit.

“They’re yours now,” sheteased.

“Oh, come on,” he let out abreath, opting now to be open about his struggle. “I can’t deal with them allon my own. What am I gonna do until midnight?”

She shrugged, not letting himoff the hook that easily.

“Bet my hat you have nothingbetter to do anyway.”

Joyce glared. It was adorablethat she thought he would back down just because a five foot tall woman wasglaring at him.

Hopper opened the door wider,grinning.

“You’re insufferable. I havelaundries to fold, you know, and I was looking forward to a nice, quiet night.”

“No, you don’t. You’ll spendthat time, in your own head, worrying.”

The look she shot him told himthat he was right. The moment she came in, El came forward to give her a hugwhich she returned with such warmth.

Joyce took in the sight of hishouse. Hopper had tried to make thehouse look a little festive back during Christmas. He didn’t think he hadsucceeded much but there was a Christmas tree which El had a good timedecorating and to him that was all that mattered.

Since the six children wereoccupying the sitting room in an intense game of Dungeons & Dragons whilethe television was turned on for background noise, they both retreated to thekitchen.

“Got nothing fancy,” hegrumbled, tossing her a can of soda.

“Oh, well, I clearly made amistake. I should have just gone to the Wheelers. Karen would have given mewine or champagne. That, I imagine,is how New Year is celebrated.”

Hopper crinkled his nose.“You’re not that funny.”

“That wasn’t what you thoughtof me back when you were sitting next to me in detention,” she said slyly.

“I was young and stupid,” he retorted, taking thesoda back from her to exchange it for beer but she swatted his hand and tookback the soda.

She stood there in hiskitchen, her eyes twinkling in mirth from their exchange, and a thought flashedbriefly through his mind – Lonnie’s anidiot.

Close to 11.00 pm, Nancy andJonathan dropped by, surprising both adults especially Hopper who firstly,clearly did not recall inviting them and secondly, at their age, he would havebeen at a party one of the high school kids would have thrown.

“Powell broke it up. There wasa fight,” Jonathan explained.

Jonathan and Nancy shuffledawkwardly inside. The last time they were here, they had been trying to get theMind Flayer out of Will, not a pleasant memory to associate with a place.

Returning back to the kitchen,Hopper’s eyes strayed to Will.

“Your boy looks… healthier.”

“He does, doesn’t he? He needsto eat a little bit more but I’m afraid he will always just be scrawny,” Joycesmiled, rubbing her hand up and down her folded arms.

Sometimes, Hopper couldn’thelp thinking that she was trying to make herself as small as possible, toshrink away from the world until it was only her and the two boys, someplaceshe could keep them safe.

“He still has nightmares,” shegave up that information out of the blue. “Nothing as bad as the episode twomonths ago but the nightmares didn’t stop.”

“El has them too,” he informedher, watching her take a sip from the soda. “Dealing with kids havingnightmares about aliens… I think that’s going to be our new normal, Joyce.”

She snorted loudly, choking onher drink. Hopper handed her a napkin. The sound had attracted Jonathan’sattention and he shot them both a curious glance, his eyes shifting from hismother to Hopper. He said nothing.

At some point from when hisbrother was taken to now, Jonathan had come to accept that Hopper was going tobe a strange part of his life.

Ever since El, Hopper had beenover at the Byers’ place a couple of times to drop her off when he had to worknight and when he picked El up in the morning, they often stayed, at Joyce’sbehest for breakfast – him and El, together with the three Byers. It felt alittle dysfunctional but it also almostfelt as if they were a family, one that could make it work. Hopper refused todwell on such thoughts. Nothing will come out of it.

“Do you really think it’sgone, Hop? That Mind – Mind Flayer…”

He let out a breath. He wasn’tplanning on having this sort of discussion today but today being the last dayof the year…. A lot of reflection going on. A good, nice man would have takenpains to assure her and comfort her that the danger was gone, even if it meantlying to her, but Hopper didn’t truly believe that they were out of the woods.He didn’t speak of this to anyone, not even to Joyce for fear of worrying herneedlessly, but truthfully, a part of him was waiting for the other shoe todrop.

Getting El settled to a lifehere in Hawkins had been a challenge but it was a good one. Christmas had beenquiet and enjoyable. In less than an hour, they would be ushering in the NewYear and yet, he couldn’t shake the feeling that something might go wrongsomewhere. At any moment now, something would fuck him over. He was sure of it.

It was a depressing thoughtwhich was why he kept it to himself and he hated how vulnerable he felt.

“She closed the gate, Joyce,but that thing… it’s still out there, right? It’s still…. We didn’t kill it. Wedidn’t end the threat. We just trapped it there.”

He heard the strangled intakeof breath and he wished he hadn’t opened his mouth. Instinctively, like he haddone that night on the Snow Ball, Hopper put an arm around her, the cigarettehe was smoking to warm himself up, dangled from his finger. Just like that night,Joyce leaned into him.

“But the gate’s closed,” hewent on, dropping a kiss to her head, a silent apology. “Maybe I’m just beingparanoid.”

“You have a cause to be. Youand me, both. What if it comes back for Will or Jane? Oh god, Hopper,” shefisted his shirt in distress, “I can’t go through that again. I can’t watchWill go through that again.”

“Hey, hey, hey,” he squeezedher arm lightly. “Nothing’s happened but if something goes after them, then wedo it together like we have before. Nothing’s changed, Joyce, I’m still in yourcorner.”

There was a time before whenhe had been sceptical but Joyce didn’t have to worry about that guy anymore. Hewas here a hundred percent. Even if his kid’s life wasn’t on the line, he wouldstill be here for Joyce.

She glanced up then and thesmile she gave him…. It made him want to do things to her, most of which, wouldbe inappropriate in a house filled with children.

He would have even kissed herif her boys were not currently sitting just outside the kitchen or if SteveHarrington had not choose that moment to walk through his front door causing arippled of excitement.

“You made it!” Dustinexclaimed.

“I heard here’s where themonster-killing squad is so,” he shrugged, “here I am.”

Hopper poked his head out ofthe kitchen just then to really make sure it was the Harrington boy in hiscabin.

“Hey, Chief, nice party,” hechuckled, looking for the alcohol. “Very… kid-friendly.”

Hopper rolled his eyes andretreated back to the kitchen where Joyce was still leaning against the counter,watching him with a hint of fondness in her eyes. At least that was what heliked to think it was, that some part of her was fond of him. It made him feeldesperate but with El around he kept thinking – wishing – that he had been given a second chance and that wouldinclude having a second chance with Joyce.

When the countdown started, heallowed Joyce to tug on his hand and followed her lead out. They hung behindthe group.

“3,” Nancy’s voice rang out.

The others picked up after her, “2!”

“Happy New Year,” the raucouscried broke through his cabin.

Hopper smiled, he couldn’thelp it. Being here in this room with a woman and children who had gone throughhell and survived…. They deserved this celebration.

“Happy New Year, Hop,” Joycestood on tip toes to kiss his cheek.

It was ridiculous how shortshe was and yet still so determined to reach him. He leaned down slightly andthe feel of her lips brushing against his stubble jaw made him closed his eyes.He reached out to touch her hip, just to hold her steady, nothing at all to dowith the fact that lately, he felt quite a need to touch her.

When he straightened up, hecaught sight of El and Mike, and he was quick to place a hand on El’s shoulder.He stared down at the boy.

Looking chastised, Mikecleared his throat, changed direction and much like Joyce had, kissed El on thecheek instead.

“Here’s to a monster freeyear!” Steve raised his own can of sofa.

Hopper could toast to that. Rememberingtheir earlier conversation, he glanced down at Joyce next to him.  “We can hope,” he spoke softly.

“Time for firecrackers,” Lucasannounced and before he could get a word in, the kids were running out of hiscabin followed by the three teenagers at a languid pace.

Joyce shook her head. “Hop,this ragtag team… I can hardly believe they took down a species from analternate dimension.”

“The winner might just surprise you yet – it’ll make for a goodtagline for a movie.”

He was rewarded by Joyce’sdelightful laugh and in the middle of the night, in this New Year, it was anice sound to hear. Whatever 1985 had to offer, he was ready to face it with Eland with Joyce, and whatever it was they had between them.

I was aiming for light and fluff but it got a bit dark, as usual with my writing. Still, I hope that was an enjoyable read!

#jopper #mileven #jim hopper #joyce byers #steve harrington #asks #filed under: hawkins the upside

[lollercakesff]

Time & Again 17

Belated Christmas! AO3

“What do you mean she didn’t show up to class? I dropped her off this morning,” Hopper grumbles, hand rubbing over his face as he listens to Flo on the radio.

“I don’t know, but when you’re done there you should give the school a call.”

“Fine, yeah. Thanks Flo.” Returning the radio handset to the dash a little bit harder than necessary, Hopper looks out the front of his truck windshield at the mess of vehicles and snow before him.

He’d been called out in the snowstorm to the scene of a crash, three cars had slid into one another and now the driver’s were fighting over who was responsible for the insurance claim. He didn’t want to deal with it - not really at all - he just wanted to go home and sit in the lights of Joyce’s Christmas tree…

Home. He’d done it again.

Whenever he thought of home now he thought of Joyce’s place and he wasn’t sure what to think of that. The cabin was nice and it was still where he and El lived, but both of them were starting to gravitate more towards the family atmosphere of the home that Joyce had built. There was something about the comfort of it all - the noise and excitement mixed with the quiet glances and the soft touches in the dead of night - that made him ache to be there more often.

He knew he wasn’t the only one feeling that way - on more than one occasion El had asked to stay over at the Byers’ instead of returning to the cabin to sleep. The funny thing was Hopper knew she wasn’t intent on staying there because of the food - Joyce’s cooking was nothing to write home about - but that she liked being around Will and likely moreso, being around Joyce.

They were both in over their heads when it came to loving Joyce and the realization had made him both giddy and nervous.

“Chief, they’re starting to throw punches,” Powell said through the window, his knuckle tapping on the glass.

“Fuck,” he groaned and reached for the handle.

The response took over an hour to get sorted, the snow starting to drip down his neck as the slush soaked through his boots. Miserable and chilled, Hopper returned to the station and poured himself a cup of coffee before calling the school to follow up.

“Did she register for first period?” He was determined not to go off the deep end on this one. Kids skipped classes all the time - it was expected that she would do it eventually - but he thought she at least would have pretended to be sick or something to blow off school. “Okay. Thanks Theresa, Merry Christmas.” Hanging up the line, he leaned back in his desk chair and fiddled with the tab on his breast pocket.

She hadn’t gone to any of her classes today and nobody had seen her. The whole thing seemed unusual to him, she’d been looking forward to watching movies all day since it was the last day before the break. Hopper pulled out a smoke and tried to focus on the work on his desk, certain that she’d show up eventually after the failure of some half-baked plan with Max or something.

When six o’clock rolled around and she still hadn’t shown up at the cabin, Hopper started calling the families. The answers were all the same - yes, their kid was home, where was his? He tried not to take it personally but he could hear the judgement through the phone and it only frustrated him further.

While El was strongly independent, it was still unlike her to disappear like this. After closing the gate almost a year ago they’d found a common ground that meant better communication and more honesty, even in their arguments. It had been working for them and he couldn’t understand why she would just leave like this without warning.

His mind spun on all the possible things he’d said in the last week that could have caused her to run away like this. They’d disagreed on what to watch on TV, what to have for dinner, but nothing really had caused a strain that would explain why she’d left. Getting to his feet he pulled a beer out of the fridge and sat down heavily at the kitchen table before staring at the can.

He was about to pop the tab when the phone rang.

“Hopper,” Joyce says into the line, her voice stressed. “Has she come home yet? You didn’t call.”

He pushes the beer away with the realization that if he started drinking now, he likely wouldn’t stop and that was not going to help him bring El home if he had to. “No, she’s not here yet. I don’t - Joyce, I have no idea what to do here.” He sighs into the line.

“Should we go look for her? Is that what we should do?” He thinks it over for a moment but then shakes his head as though she could see him.

“No. I mean, maybe after the snow lets up in the morning. But right now I think we just need to wait for her to come back. She’s resourceful and capable, I really just want to think she’s gotten the time mixed up or something,” he adds knowing full well that El has mastered understanding how time works by now. The situation doesn’t make any sense so he grasps at straws to keep his nerves about him.

“Have you called Owens? Maybe he knows - “

“I did. He hasn’t heard from her. This isn’t like her, at all.” Hopper can hear Joyce on the end of the phone picking at the wallpaper, her small frame likely tucked against the wall as she tries to keep it together.

“I know. Do you want us to come over? Keep you company?” She offers weakly.

Hopper pulls in a breath and sits up in the chair. He wanted to be with Joyce - she knew what this was like and he needed that right now. But he also wanted to be with her because she was likely reliving the worst period of her life too. “Yeah, I do. But the weather is looking pretty bad out there.”

“I’ll drive carefully. She’s safe, wherever she is Hop,” she adds, knowing full well that he was thinking about her lost in the snow. He had to push the idea out of his mind - tomorrow was Christmas Eve and she would be here to open her presents on Christmas Day. She had to be.

The evening stretches on forever. It gets to the point, sometime around midnight, that Hopper stops answering the phone and lets Joyce take over. Putting on the record that El always liked to listen to, the sound drowning out the wind from the storm, Hopper sits heavily on the couch and stares at Will asleep against the armrest. It wasn’t long ago that Will was missing, trapped in the Upside Down, and Joyce was in his position. He doesn’t know how she managed to get through it - not as he sits here helplessly, hoping against everything that she was safe.

That she would come back.

“Why don’t you go lay down?” Joyce says from above him, her arm sliding across his chest as she rests her chin on his head.

“She isn’t home yet,” he whispers and her arms tighten around his chest. “What if I drove her away?” The idea that the black hole got her had started to haunt him as the sun went down, his mind focusing on the worst case scenario. Now he was afraid to sleep, certain that if he did the visions of her dead in the snow would come to life and destroy him.

“You didn’t,” she assures him. She sounds so sure that he could almost believe her. Almost, but not really.

Rounding around the edge of the sofa, Joyce sets herself down in his lap and tucks into him. He tries keep it together as her fingers trace his cheekbones, her eyes searching his, but he can’t and has to turn away so she won’t see the fear inside of him. If she saw it, he wasn’t sure he could stop himself from falling apart. Somewhere between this morning when the school first called and now his anger and frustration had dissolved into fear, blatant and suffocating, and he didn’t know how to manage it.

The morning comes with an exhausted dullness as the storm outside subsides and the sun starts to creep out from behind the clouds. Will is the first one to start making breakfast, his awareness of the state of his Mom and Hopper after a night of restless sleep driving him to sort through the fridge until he can find the eggs. Setting the scrambled egg on the table he encourages them to join him, pulling them to their feet and waving toast under their noses.

Halfway through the meal Hopper startles, his gaze whipping to the door as he watches the locks unclick of their own volition. A moment later and he’s on his feet, his hands twisting at the handle and swinging the door open to reveal El standing on the porch, a package under her arm and bags under her eyes.

The shock of seeing her - in one piece and seemingly alright - makes his head go light and he drops to his knees before her. “You came back,” he mumbles, his eyes searching hers.

“I didn’t mean to be gone so long, but the snow... The bus I was taking stopped and we had to stay onboard all night. I couldn’t call or do anything,” she pauses and her demeanor changes, her strength disappears and all at once she’s dropping the box and throwing herself into his arms, her small frame nearly knocking him over with the force of it.

“It’s okay, kid,” he whispers over and over against her hair, his hands holding her tightly to him. The tears he’s been holding back for hours start to prick at the back of his eyes, escaping silently onto her shoulder as he pulls her closer.

“I’m sorry - I didn’t mean to make you worried. I didn’t want you to think something bad happened but I couldn’t fix it and I didn’t know what to do,” she sobs against him.

“I know. It’s okay,” he tries to calm her, his hands rubbing circles against her back.

“El, why didn’t you tell us where you were going?” Will asks from the table, his words breaking into their reunion bubble. Hopper let’s her pull back and notice the other two people in the cabin, their bodies frozen in their seats.

“It was supposed to be a surprise,” she watches Joyce and Will with trepidation, uncertainty flooding her at their reaction. Hopper moves to get back to his feet, ushering El inside as he finally closes the door. The silence in the cabin drags out and he can practically feel the barrage of questions waiting to be asked.

“But you didn’t even tell Mike. You tell him everything!” Will added, getting to his feet and stepping closer to her.

“I’m sorry,” she whispers, her shoulders sinking lower as she starts to disappear into her coat. She couldn’t meet his stare, the intensity between them building as Joyce stepped to Hopper’s side curiously.

“Everyone was worried El,” he says quietly and reaches out to her, his arms pulling her in for a hug. She stands stock still, her body unmoving for a moment before she relaxes into his embrace and returns the hug with surprising force. “Next time just tell us where you’re going so we don’t worry. Okay?” He asks as he pulls away and looks towards Hopper and Joyce with a small smile on his face.

“He’s right,” Joyce adds, nodding. El steps towards her and wraps her in a tight hug, the unexpected force catching her off guard.

“I’m sorry guys. I was supposed to be back before school was over. I just wanted to get a good present and I had to go to the city to get it,” El says when she finally pulls away, stepping back to the box and picking it up. She presses it towards Hopper’s hands, her face looking up to him hopefully. “Merry Christmas, Dad,” she adds quietly as he takes it.

“Ellie, having you home safe is the best gift you can give me for Christmas,” Hopper sighs as he takes the box under one arm and pulls her back into his arm for another crushing hug.

#time and again #jopper #jopper fanfic #stranger things fanfic #stranger things fanfiction #joyce x hopper

[pumpkinscreams]

Christmas party (Reddie)

Hey, i thought id take a crack at some fanfic, and i love reddie so fucking much i wrote one from a dream i had. Hope you enjoy/ tell me if u want more of these?-

Richie didn’t think he looked nice that often, he didn’t have many clothes, ones that he liked nonetheless, but this Christmas eve was an exception. His grandma gave him a bunch of his dad’s old shirts for Christmas, and they fit his thin frame perfectly. He walked down the street to the Denbrough’s annual Christmas dinner. He had a three quarter length mint collared shirt, with tiny black dots all over, with black slacks and shoes to match, with a huge marshmallow coat covering the whole ensemble. His hair was not having any taming that day, he decided to not poke the beast. He felt good, he doesn’t feel that too often. His hope was that somebody special noticed this time. He shook his head,

“Why do I care about what Eds thinks? I mean Eddie- Shut the fuck up!”

He was looked down, stepping on the new fallen snow with a satisfying crunch. He made his way to the door to see Santa barfed all over Bills foyer. The banisters were wrapped in gold and red ribbon, mistletoe over every doorway, there were bows on top of every mirror, and all the rugs were replaced with Christmas themed ones. He noticed when he saw he was rubbing the snow off his shoes onto Santa’s belly. He disposed of the gawdly coat, and wandered to the living room. He saw the room was lined with adults, with a huge tree in the middle with a bunch of gifts under it.

“Rich kid’s” 

Richie said under his breath as he adjusted his shirt.

“Richie!” Mike called to him from the piano by the window.

He strut over to see the group clouding around Bill, who was failing at playing rudolph on the piano.

“Oh no Billiam! This is how we play it in the theatre!” Richie said in a pompous british accent, as he started slamming the keys.

The adults looked at him in confusion, then went back to their separate conversations. The losers rolled their eyes.

“And a M-Merry Christmas to you Richie” Bill said with the most attitude.

“Hey, where’s my teeny amigo? Jerking off to windex?” Richie says as he looks around the room, the group smirks, knowing their playful flirtings ever since that one day at the lake, but none of the losers wanted to out them so they kept it to themselves.

“What?” Richie asked,

“Your boy toy is on the mission for some bottled water, he refused to have some punch” Stan says, the least caring about their obvious secret.

Richie’s face blushed to a light pink,

“fuck off man, I’m gonna get some of that punch” he says as he punches Stans arm and walks to the kitchen, he couldn’t help let out a smile.

“Boy toy? That was pretty weak if you ask me”

he thinks as he gets to the kitchen.

“He shouldn’t talk about my Eddie like that”

he starts pouring his punch when he hears from behind him

“Richie you made it! I could’ve driven you!” he freezes, dropping his cup in the bowl and rotates. His mom, obviously tipsy, is standing in front of him. She walks over and grabs his shoulder, he tenses.

“What are you doing here mom?” He said so quietly she could barely hear.

“I thought I’d get out of the house, spend some time with you! You hang around with those kids way too much, especially that Eddie kid” she slowly shakes her head, her drunken state taking over. “Don’t tell anyone, but I think that kids a bit queer, to feminine for a boy!” Richie grabs his mom’s arm and forces it off him.

“What the fuck mom.” he says in an angry whisper as he stomps out to the hallway.

She yells out to him but it’s too late. His glasses start to fog by how mad he is.

“She’s just drunk, she doesn’t really feel that way”

he keeps repeating in his mind. He starts to feel his eyes water and he goes in the closest door in the hallway, closes it, and slides down to the floor, tears starting to stream. He keeps his eyes closed and starts crying. Hanging his head down, his shoulders shaking. After a good 20 seconds, he feels a hand creep onto his shoulder. Ever since that thing… it, he’s been hyper aware and grabs the hand before it has a chance to clutch him. He hears a small squeal from something far too familiar. He opens his eyes to see a water bottle on the floor, with shelves of food surrounding the room. He’s in the pantry. He looks up and sees Eddie, in maroon corduroys and the ugliest Christmas sweater he’d ever seen. The boy was kneeling beside him, with his hand trapped by his. His face is flustered. Richie must’ve come in so quickly he didn’t notice Eddie.

“Jesus fuck Eds, don’t sneak up on me like that, I thought you were that clown thing.” and gives a small chuckle. Eddie looked at Richie with concern, He sat down beside him on the wall, the two still holding hands. Eddie looked up at his taller friends eyes through his coke bottle glasses “Why’re you crying Richie?” his eyes were as big as saucers, innocently looking up at him. Richie vulnerably looked down, he started rubbing Eddies soft hand he’s intertwined with. Richie began to speak,

“My mom doesn’t…approve of the…person I love- I mean like…like, ya-like.” He spewed out. “God I sound like fucking Bill”

he thought as rolled his eyes at himself, but the tears started to pour again. The tears just fell down his small chin, he didn’t want Eddie to see him cry and turned his head. Eddie was surprised, whenever things go to shit, Richie always had something funny to say, some way to get out of it, even in the worst of circumstances. He realized this was the one monster he couldn’t swing a bat at. He cupped Richie’s freckled cheek and turned his face to his. Their noses touching, Eddie wiping the tears off Richies pale skin. Eddie nestles his face into the concave of his shoulder and neck. He whispers sweetly into Richies ear

“One day, you’ll get out of that house, and you’ll be able to have your own house” Richie couldn’t help but giggle. It was the mix of his whispers tickling his neck, and the idea of having an actual happy home. He started rubbing Eddie’s hand again, memorizing each nail, fingerprint, and wrinkle. Eddie took the giggles as a challenge and starts making the new life even sillier.

“You’re gonna have a TV in every room, and a pantry filled with all the cookies you could think of! And ten dog! And a whole room dedicated to comic books!” he blows in Richie’s ear, and Richie laughs as as his head falls back, supported by Eddies other hand. Eddie titled his head and placed it on Richie’s shoulder.

“And… you’ll have someone living with you… who loves you…so very much” Eddie tenses, moves his hand from Richie’s face to his own side. He feels awkward,

“did I share too much?”

he questions.

“I wish he knew I wanted that with him”

Richie thought.

The two sat in silence, holding hands, both feeling confused, but they both knew this felt right. Suddenly, the two heard loud, but humming song infiltrate the little pantry. It was White Christmas, Eddie starts humming the song.

“Im, dreaming of a white,Christmas, just like the ones I used to know”

Richie chuckles, his tears dried.

“Care for a dance, m’lady?” He raises their conjoined hand and licks Eddies hand, instead of kissing it. While Richie laughs and Eddie looks in disgust,

“What the fuck Richie!” he tries to retract his hand, but Richie holds it tighter, and kisses it. Eddie squirmed, but still couldn’t help to forgive him. Richie stood up, bringing Eddie up with him. Eddie put his hands on Eddies small waist, just above his fanny pack.

“So I’m the lady?” He crosses his arms. Richie just rolls his eyes and puts his hands around the little boys small shoulders and wraps his hands around Eddie’s neck, forcing their noses to touch. Eddie blushes a bright red, and wraps his arms around Richie’s waist, basically hugging him. The two are face to face.

“May your days days be merry, and bright”

Richie looks at the boy through his lashes, he kisses the middle of Eddie’s forehead. Eddie looks up, and eagerly kisses Richie on the lips, hugging him tighter. At first Richie was a bit shocked, but he let it happen. It was quick, and very sweet. The two were flushed in a light red and Eddie put his head on Richies chest.

“Merry Christmas Eds”

“And may all your Christmases be bright.”

“Ditto, Richie”

#reddie #reddie fanfic #Reddie fanfiction

[cosmosogler]

really, REALLY late start today. sorry. i was trapped in tv tropes purgatory.

i really hurt my eyes with all the reading i did... and lost track of time.

anyway i got up early, at 9:05, and showered and drove out to the behavioral health center. i got a little turned around and was one minute late for my appointment. and i also hit the curb when i was trying to park because i’m good at driving when i’m stressed.

i managed to NOT damage the car this time at least! baby steps. curbs are the worst. i have never hit anything that wasn’t part of the ground. well, except for the recycling bin that dad decided to leave directly behind the car on the driveway that you couldn’t see from the rearview mirror. the car is normally in the garage so i couldn’t have seen the bin before i got in the car either.

ok i got sidetracked. i need to stay focused because i want to go to sleep because my head hurts. staying focused with a headache is really easy!!!

i hate that my stupid face scrunches up when i have a headache. it makes everything worse. because i always have a headache. mostly from grinding my teeth forever every day always.

ok so i got to the hospital and went in for the paperwork and interview. i got a quick medical check up and then filled out my paperwork. the nurse asked if i wanted something to drink and rattled off a bunch of available choices and i asked for water and she left and never came back. so i was thirsty for about an hour.

the doctor, charlie, came in well after i had figured out all the paperwork. i was expecting to be interrupted because i was  taking forever. but she was nice and asked questions and didn’t seem judgmental when i stumbled over my answers and gave caveats to all my problems. but then i mentioned that i couldn’t start until next week because i am going up to flagstaff to sort out school stuff and would miss two days of therapy this week. she immediately put down the survey and told me i could only start within three days of finishing the paperwork. so i would have to fill out everything again in a week if i wanted to start next week. i kinda sighed. but she promised she would keep my file so i didn’t have to redo EVERYTHING. and they are open on weekends so i can make an appointment for next monday and start right away on tuesday.

so i drove home. i sang badly along with my ipod. my voice was just not with it today. i don’t have as much range as the singer i was listening to even on a good day though. so i just had to hope that the car wasn’t judging me.

i got home and got caught up on some web sites and tumblr blogs and i started reading some homestuck analysis because i still think about it sometimes. i follow the fan comic “double death of the author” and it is very good and one of the writers wrote very detailed rants on why the ending was disappointing. it feels nice to see some of my thoughts in someone else’s words.

then i went to chipotle for lunch with dad and the neighbor and his daughter. the daughter is roommates with my sister at their apartment since they both go to the same university. recently she has been making some very bad and also dangerous decisions relating to alcohol so my sister has distanced herself from the neighbor’s kid. dad thinks she should just “forgive and forget” and “talk it out” but my sister is adamant that the daughter is not welcome in her life while she is making these decisions. she has forgiven her before and she always interprets it as permission to keep doing it, so my sister put her foot down after a really bad night.

i agree with my sister. i didn’t say that to anyone except her though.

the chipotle was good. i actually ate the whole burrito. the whole burrito! i didn’t put as many things in it as i usually would though.

after that i sank into my tv tropes/wikipedia fugue for several hours. there is just so much information. and i need to read literally all of it. i can barely even stop when i want to, if i manage to catch the time. i was like this when i read long novels too. reading while walking, reading at night in the car, reading under streetlights while we walked from the car to the store, waiting for my family to fall asleep late at night and then creeping into the bathroom and reading behind the door for hours and hours. i mean, i didn’t want to sleep, because horrifying nightmares. and i didn’t care about school, because the bullying was at its worst those years. the only genuinely interesting thing that didn’t also hurt me was reading. and it did hurt me... i don’t have as much “imagination” stamina as i used to and my eyes are getting weak. and i got back problems that i don’t tell my family about. it literally always hurts. i can’t make it stop.

i got yelled at for reading too long several times. when the last harry potter book came out my dad caught me reading upside down with my feet up against the wall at 3 am and nearly shook the walls when he punched the door. i didn’t even like harry potter as much as my sister did. mom caught me reading in the bathroom when i couldn’t wait long enough for her to go to bed to continue the story.

i just... have to look at all the information in front of me. it’s in instinct i can’t fight, and when i think about it, i don’t really want to fight it that much. it’s bad in some situations, but it’s mostly useful. and good when i need to make an informed decision.

even in discord channels, if other people had a conversation while i was away, even if i have no interest in the topic, and i know i won’t find it interesting, i will read it.

i’ve gotten just a little better about that, mostly because i don’t usually have the energy to interact with people.

anyway i remembered (i just also remembered right now so i will have to do that first thing in the morning) that i need to schedule my shuttle up to flagstaff for wednesday. so i went to ask dad what a good time for him to drop me off is. he said he was on the phone so i waited quietly and petted the dogs. eve is limping more than she was a few days ago.

after a few minutes dad spiked the phone into the desk and it hit the wall and fell behind the desk. i was startled, but i asked dad “what would be a good time for” and he interrupted me to snarl “i don’t care.” so i left the room.

he called me back into the room later by yelling at me. i asked what a good time would be for him since i needed to take the shuttle on wednesday, which is his physical therapy day. i have set aside wednesdays as “dad has full access to the car” days for the past several months so he could go to physical therapy for his elbow. he told me he hasn’t gone to that basically since i started scheduling my week around it. after yelling at me for not knowing about it and accommodating him when i first started leaving the house again.

COOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so i gotta schedule the shuttle tomorrow morning. it’s 12:40 right now i can’t do it before i want to sleep if i’m gonna keep writing.

then i had the Iconic Exchange with asher about reach arounds. and then it was an hour later and mom got home and made a quiche. it was ok... it didn’t taste bad or anything, but i didn’t like the way that it filled up my mouth every single bite. i talked to mom about why she was angry at dad. they do not communicate effectively or understand each other very well. despite mom thinking she understands dad perfectly. they have very different priorities, and different priorities than the other thinks they have. then i took the dogs outside and then i took wiley on a walk. but only a short one because i had been chewed on by mosquitoes in the few minutes i took them out back and i was still tired and sore from the long drive yesterday.

then i kept reading tv tropes and then it was like 11. but i finally finished the tabs. all of them except two which i am not going to look at right now. even though they are interesting. 

i went downstairs and had some strawberries and came back up and watched some youtube. i found a new poet that is really cool. i put one of his works in my queue so that will post in like two days. i have a two-day queue buffer most of the time.

then i panicked when it was 12 and started writing!!! 

oh, mom talked to me about eve while i was eating. i mentioned that the sooner i left for florida at the end of the summer, the more likely it would be that eve would still be alive when i left. so i wouldn’t be there for her. mom made a face and asked if i really thought they wouldn’t take care of her. that’s not really what i was getting at, but i said that’s not what i thought and mentioned that she’s walking badly. mom said that my uncle mike was going to wait until she stopped using the leg and then amputate it. she should have up to another year in her if she recovers from the surgery well and the cancer hadn’t become malignant over the last few years. it will be easier for her to adjust to having three legs if she no longer uses the bad one anyway.

i don’t want her to die... but when i leave for florida i won’t be coming back, not really. they employ graduate students year-round. mom asked if i wanted eve to die and i said no but i felt guilty. it’s complicated... like, what if it was me. would i rather die around loved ones or live longer and see them leave. and how does my depression factor into my answer to that question in a way that it wouldn’t for eve? i can’t make the decision for her, but i also can’t communicate the situation to her in any way or get her feedback. all she can see is that i’m sad for some reason.

i watched her run around in the backyard with doge and wiley. diogi has resorted to little bunny-hops with her back legs to get moving while she scrambles much faster with her front legs. it looks funny but i’m glad she can still go more or less where she wants. eve has started running that way too though. supporting her back leg with her good one when she runs. diogi just kicks her back legs at the same time because it’s easier to coordinate. 

i dunno. i always feel wistful and sad when i watch the dogs. like this might be the last time i see them do this or that. how do they feel about it? they have to know. diogi’s doing “pack protection” behaviors that pack animals do when one of their members is sick or otherwise infirm. 

ehhhh i made myself sad. they’re not even dead yet. i am always happy to see them but also sad to know that i might not see them again. i can’t get that thought out of my head and just enjoy the time i got.

grief is weird. the past few days i’ve been feeling nothing and getting really confused when an emotion pops up because what even are emotions, but put an old dog in front of me and i feel REALLY BAD and it shoves me back into being alive IMMEDIATELY.

and then i’m gonna adopt a senior cat when i get to florida. a+ plan, can’t see how that will go wrong. there are no holes in this plan.

ok it’s 1 i gotta sleep. therapist appointment at 11:30 tomorrow. i will get up around 10 as usual though so it won’t be a rush. i was hoping i could push back my wake-up time to 9 but since it is already after 1 i don’t see that happening. i have just been too tired the last few days.

i know i had dreams last night but i don’t remember what they were about. just that they were there. as they always are. i can recall dreaming at least 6 nights a week, usually 7, even if i can’t remember anything besides vague impressions. and i don’t remember them less than half the time. it’s clogging up all my memory and emotion and energy space. for 20 years.

#oh look i talk about animal death again #grief is weird